With Big Shells and Wings
by abstow89
Summary: Bowser creates a league of every enemy Mario and his friends have faced. Can he stop them all again before Bowser's plans suceed?
1. A Plot is Revealed

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Bowser is tired of always getting defeated by Mario and his brother, so he recruits any and every creature he can find with an evil spirit. You know what they say: the more the stupider!

**A Plot is Revealed**

Shortly after his defeat in The Palace of Shadow, Bowser, his son, Kammy Koopa and many others decided to strike back at Mario as soon as possible for humiliating them by their countless defeats. He plotted for many days and nights, recruiting every bad natured being he could find in the Mushroom Kingdom. Those included were the Koopa Bros., Crystal King, Petey Piranha, Wario, Crazy Hand and his brother, Kamek, Gloomtail and his siblings, General Guy, King Boo, Bob-ombs, and many, many more. He even created a larger and elite castle that was covered with tons of red brick tiles, surrounded by a sea of lava and hundreds of Koopatrol guards. Indeed, the place was more fortified than it had been in several years.

So here they all were, sitting and standing in this huge room full of notorious villains in the Nintendo history. Hundreds of koopas, goombas, bob-ombs and so on. ...And they were all wearing black. Yes, Bowser wanted all members of this coalition to wear black. It symbolized their evilness...and he thought it looked cool for everyone to wear black. Even Bowser himself was wearing a black shell instead of his old, ratty green one.

"It is time we took a strike back at Mario!" he shouted. Everyone else in the room cheered.

"Yeah! Death to the Mario Bros!"

"Go Bowser!"

"You go, Dad!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know I'm awesome. But seriously, we need a real strategy if we're gonna defeat Mario once and for all." proposed Bowser.

"Like what?" asked Petey Piranha.

"Umm..." Bowser went silent for a while, thinking hard about what his almighty plan should be to defeat Mario.

"I got a plan: Let's take all of Mushroom Kingdom hostage and demand 100 billion dollars!" suggested Kammy Koopa.

"This is a Super Mario story, not Austin Powers. I am not Dr. Evil!! ...Although I should be." said Bowser.

"Let's just run around shooting at people until we rule the world!!" said Roy Koopa.

"Where's the fun in ruling the world if everyone is dead Roy?" asked Bowser Jr.

"...Oh yeah."

"We can always just gross out Mario. Your breath stinks real bad, Bowser." said a Kopatrol.

Bowser growled at him and Gloomtail laughed.

"I don't know why you're laughin' Gloomtail! You're the one with foul poison breath!"

"Can't we just build seven networks of castles and me and the other six of--"

"Seven Larry." Bowser Jr. added.

"Or seven of us...can guard it until he kills us all and blows up the castle and eventually gets to you and defeats you?" asked Larry Koopa.

"Larry...you just explained EXACTLY what happened to us on Dinosaur Island." pointed out Morton Koopa Jr.

"Or maybe we could--"

"AAAARGH!! SHUT UP!! Shut the hell up!" roared Bowser.

Everyone got quiet.

"I'm surrounded by grade-A idiots!!"

"So what does that make you Bowser?"

Bowser roared his firey breath on the koopa who insulted him, leaving him completely black.

He coughed a cloud of smoke and muttered, "I'll be quiet now."

"You know what? All your plans sound somewhat stupid, but if we use each of them at the same time, it could throw Mario off balance!" said Bowser.

"What are you saying, that we should each think of our own set of plans and use them at the same time?"

"No. I'm saying, we need to have a colossal amount of contingency plans, one more intense than the first!"

"Cool. Like an endless chain of terrorist cells!" said Wario.

"Exactly!" yelled Ludwig Von Koopa.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Didn't we do something like this before?" asked a goomba.

"Psshaw! Like we'd every forget what we did in the past!" said the Red Koopa Bros.

"So all this time, we didn't need just one evil bad guy to defeat Mario: we need EVERY bad guy to defeat Mario!"

"Yes. I should've thought of this before." said Master Hand.

"It all starts tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the day where we strike back at the Mario Bros. and set our plans into play! Then I'll be king of Mushroom Kingdom once and for all! MWAHAHAHA!!"


	2. Ready, Set, Go!

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **While Mario and Luigi were relaxing at their home, Parakarry delivers an important message. Bowser decides to put his first set of plans into motion.

**Ready, Set, Go!**

It was a perfect day in the Mushroom Kingdom with the sun shining and all. Everything seemed peaceful and innocent in Toad Town. That was also the biggest weakness of Toad Town: it was defenseless. And a huge battalion of Koopa Troopas weren't too far away.

"You guys ready for this?" asked Paratroopa Dix.

"Yeah! Wait, explain it to me again?" asked a Hammer Bros.

Dix sighed. "We're gonna run over the town and hold everyone captive and that'll draw out Mario and he'll try to save everyone--you know how this act goes!"

"So…what's the difference this time?" asked a red koopa.

"…Shut up! My plan is gonna work this time! I have a surprise up my sleeve…" said Red Ninjakoopa.

"All right. LET'S DO THIS!!" shouted Dix.

Everyone ran into Toad Town with battle cries and screeches. But they abruptly stopped when all of the Toads continued to do their usual business.

"Uh…" muttered a Hammer Bros.

"HELLO!! A bunch of koopas are about to take over the town!" yelled Red Ninjakoopa.

"So?" asked a toad.

"What do you mean 'so'? So freak out! Run around in circles screamin' like idiots! Now go on! Run!!"

"Why should we? You guys are just some punk koopa troopas hangin' out with Bowser, that's about it."

Red Ninjakoopa stared at the toad and suddenly pulled out a laser gun which he borrowed from the makers of Super Smash Brothers.

"WHAT THE--"

Red Ninjakoopa fired a laser beam right through the toad's head, obliterating a good portion of it.

"NOW GET YOUR SHROOM HEADED ASSES IN THE BUILDING RIGHT NOW!!" he screeched.

A female toad screamed and some of the others put their hands in the air.

"Now this…is more like it!" said Red Ninjakoopa.

* * *

"…And that's how I defeated the Shadow Queen." said Mario.

"Wow. That's pretty intense bro, even for you!" said Luigi.

"Mail call!" yelled Parakarry from outside.

The Mario Bros. heard the box shake and walked outside to see what letter they received.

"Oh, it's another letter from Parakarry."

Luigi opened up the letter and read it.

"'Dear Mario Bros,

I've captured your pathetic friends and hold them captive inside a secret sewer system located in Toad Town.

-Signed, the Koopa Bros.'"

"Are you serious? I have to fight the Koopa Bros. again? Why do they even bother with kidnapping a bunch of Toads in the first place?!"

"Cause they're stupid, that's why."

"Like it matters. Let's just go to Toad Town and see what's up."

"All right."

And by reading that one letter, their fates had been sealed. Mario and Luigi jumped on the pipe and travel through it, swirling around until they arrived at the Toad Town gate. However, no one was in town.

"Hello?"

"They've been captured Luigi. You really think someone is going to answer?"

"Someone could be hiding somewhere."

Mario sighed and looked around, trying to find some sort of clue.

"I'm stuck here." said Mario.

"What? How are _you _stuck? You're the one and only Mario bro!"

"Yeah, but if you played all my Paper Mario games, there was always a clue or some hint somewhere and when I found it, the screen would peel off like a page or it'd play some dramatic music."

"Yeah. Twink always hit you in the head or called out your name real loud like--"

"HEY MARIO!!" yelled Twink.

Twink began to flutter down from the sky towards Mario. He was fully grown and glittering, as he was a Star Spirit now.

"TWINK!! Long time, no see! We were just--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Listen, someone just told me that the Koopa Bros. just captured everyone in Toad Town and that Bowser formed an alliance with every single bad guy you ever faced!"

Luigi and Mario's eyes grew wide. They weren't aware of the threat of a super league of villains headed by Bowser himself.

"Wait a second! REWIND! REWIND! When did Bowser get a league of super villains?!" asked Mario.

"Umm…yesterday? I thought you guys knew this…already…"

"NO! We were just talking about that! There was no letter sent in our mail, there was no loud ting noise or dramatic music and there was no SIGN that could tell us about this!" said Luigi.

"What does that have to do with it?" asked Twink.

"Think about it Twink. We don't just go on random adventures. Someone somewhere tells us that Peach has been kidnapped or sends us a letter or we suddenly get this 'urge' to go rescue someone."

"Wow, I just realized that! I always yelled "Mario!" just like I did now and informed you of where you need to go to!"

"Which is where exactly?" asked Luigi.

"You should know, you've been there several times: Bowser's castle!" said Twink.

"…Okay then, uh…let's go to Bowser's castle?" said Mario. It felt weird. Everything was way too easy. His adventure had only begun and now it was about to end, just that quickly. Something was off…

* * *

Bowser and Luigi arrived inside Bowser's castle and noticed it was completely deserted. Just yesterday, over 50 villains were standing where they were, talking about the various ideas of how to defeat Mario and Luigi, now the place is like a ghost town.

"This ain't right! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE! Why the hell does nothing make sense at all?!" protested Luigi.

"I dunno, but I found a ? block on the ground."

Mario walked over to the block and was about to hit it with his hammer.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" said Luigi, stopping him from hitting the block.

"What if it'd a trap?"

"It's not a trap."

"Do you remember the first Paper Mario where you hit that ? block in the Koopa Bros. fortress and fell into a jail cell?"

"In the Koopa Bros. Fortress, not Bowser's castle."

"But there was a trap door in there too!"

"In front of that giant talking Bowser door! Will you stop being so paranoid? Now I'm gonna hit this block and we fall through some trap door, you can shout out 'I told you so!' as many times as you want to okay?"

"Fine, just don't get mad when we fall."

Mario hit the ? block and it disappeared. No coin or mushroom or other item came out. The Mario Bros. just stood there waiting for something to happen."

"See? Nothing happened!"

As soon as Mario was done, the floor suddenly broke apart and they were hanging in mid-air.

"Told you so."

"Oh shut up!"

Mario and Luigi began to scream loudly as they were free-falling hundreds of feet to the ground. They suddenly hit a rock and began falling down a series of rocky stairs until they were suddenly free-falling again. Eventually, they landed inside a cave with very little light inside.

"Where are we?" asked Mario.

"It looks like--told you so--we landed inside--told you so--some subterranean--told you so--cave…told you so."

"That is gonna annoy the crap outta me."

"WELL LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE!!" yelled a booming voice.

Mario and Luigi slowly turned around to see Gloomtail standing right next to them and roared in their faces.

"Son of a koopa! We just started our adventure and already we have to fight Gloomtail?! This is bullcrap!"


	3. Dragon in the Sewers

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Mario and Luigi are forced to fight Gloomtail, while the Koopa Bros. have to deal with a few escapees.

**Dragon in the Sewers**

The Koopa Bros. and koopa troopas were patrolling a koopa prison complex similar to their own castle, but bigger. The whole building was made of metal, so absolutely no one was going to try and escape this time. There were no cracks in the walls and no secret passages located anywhere. It was just a gigantic prison cell filled with Toads and koopa troopas patrolling around them.

"This is so easy!" yelled Black.

"I know! Why didn't we make this kind of jail cell back at your fortress?" asked Dix.

"That was BEFORE we all grouped together and got all these insane ideas from King Bowser." said Green.

"Yeah. …Anyone get the feeling like we forgot something really important?" asked a Hammer Bros.

"Like what?"

"See…there's this grate in the ground and I think it leads somewhere…"

All the koopas rushed towards it and examined it closely.

"So there's a grate in the ground. Big deal." said Red.

"That IS a big deal! Don't you guys hear rushing water?" asked Dix.

"It leads to the sewers Dix. Who's gonna be stupid enough to travel through raw sewage waste just to escape? And don't you know of all the monsters down there anyway?" said Yellow.

"Mario used the sewers all the time! It was like a modern day subway system! What happens if someone tried to escape and they find a pipe?!"

A koopa troopa laughed. "Dix you're so stupid. There are no pipes that lead to another village or town somewhere!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah!"

"Did you check to see?"

He scratched his head. "Umm…"

Everyone looked stupidly at each other.

"Son of a bitch. Open the grate! Open it up now!" said Red panicky.

* * *

Mario and Luigi weren't doing any better. They were still trapped in the cave system with a gigantic black dragon staring at them in the face. There was absolutely no chance of escape this time, no doors at the end of the tunnel and no trap door hidden beneath the dirt.

"Okay, I got a plan. When he comes by--"

Gloomtail bit down on Mario.

"OWW!! What the hell?! I didn't go yet! That's not how you play the game!"

Gloomtail stepped on Mario.

"DUDE!!"

Luigi violently grabbed Mario by the shirt and yelled, "THIS--IS--NOT--PAPER--MARIO!!" while slapping him with each syllable he pronounced.

"…I knew that."

Gloomtail inhaled and blew a large stream of his poison breath at the Mario Bros. Both of them groaned in disgust.

"Does your breath stink that bad Gloomtail?! Or did your mouth just fart on us?" asked Luigi.

"Both." said Gloomtail.

Realizing that Mario wasn't trapped inside a similar life like Paper Mario, he began to go all out on Gloomtail. Luigi used his hands as a boost and Mario jumped off them, stepping on Gloomtail's head twice. Luigi blasted several of his green fireballs at his toes, burning his feet.

"MEGABREATH!!!"

"Screw that."

Luigi and Mario quickly pulled out a gasmask and shielded their faces. Even though Gloomtail exhaled an amount of poison breath that would burn up someone's internal organs if inhaled, Mario and Luigi took no damage.

"HEY!! You cheated! Since when did the Mario Bros. get gasmasks?!"

"Since the writer of this fanfic said so!"

Mario took out his metal hammer and began to jump up and hit Gloomtail in the stomach. Luigi used his impressive jumping skills to jump up on his face, kicking him in the eye.

"OW! My eye!"

Gloomtail flicked Luigi into a stalagmite and kicked Mario into the cave walls.

"Now just hold still so I can eat you!"

Mario and Luigi yelped when Gloomtail engulfed them inside his mouth and began to swallow.

"NO! We just started our adventure and I'll be damned if we get eaten by the likes of you!" yelled Mario.

They were possible five seconds away from falling down the throat and entering Gloomtail's stomach acids. Luigi grabbed Mario's leg and Mario managed to latch onto his tongue. Then he saw it. Gloomtail's uvula. Everyone said that if someone touches it, you're gonna throw up and expel your stomach contents. And right now, Mario preferred to get upchucked instead of taking the _alternate_ exit.

So he decided to shoot a couple fireballs at it, watching it fling back and forth as though he were hitting it like a punching bag. Gloomtail suddenly retched and burped, holding his mouth shut.

"What did you just--?"

Before Gloomtail could finish, he started vomiting all over the place, realizing that Mario and Luigi came out of his mouth too.

"Never…again." said Luigi, shaking green puke off his body.

"Agreed."

Now they had the upper advantage. Gloomtail was sick and felt horrible, kinda like when his sister, Hooktail, hears the sound of crickets, but worse. Gloomtail tried biting down on Luigi again, but he moved so slow that Luigi was able to jump on top of him, kicking him in the eye again.

"LUIGI! THE NOSE!!"

"What?"

"His nose hairs! Yank 'em!"

"Oh."

Luigi jammed his hand inside Gloomtail's nose and started pulling on anything hairy he could find.

"Damnit! Let go! OW!"

Luigi plucked the hairs, which were over a foot long each.

"AH-CHOO!!!" yelled Gloomtail in a booming voice.

Luigi was covered in vast amounts of mucus and saliva. If that wasn't bad enough, Gloomtail vomited all over the floor again, still feeling the burning sensation on his uvula.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!" screamed Gloomtail.

Gloomtail started stepping Mario with all four feet and grabbed Luigi with his jaws, swinging him around like a wet noodle. His body flew from his mouth and slammed into another blunt rock. Gloomtail even decided to vomit all over Mario on purpose, burning him with his corrosive acid.

"How do you like it?!"

"HOT! HOT! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!!" yelled Mario.

Gloomtail kicked Mario so hard in the stomach that he nearly messed up his colon. Mario's body also hit the blunt rock and he landed next to his subdued brother. Both of them sighed, too hurt to move another inch.

"So…guess this is the end huh?" said Mario.

"…Told you so."

Mario smacked Luigi upside the head. So what if it was his fault that they were about to die? Doesn't mean that should still constantly taunt him by saying "Told you so" over and over and over again!

"Finally! I can finally take credit for defeating the Mario Bros. and no longer have to wait 1000 years for a savory meal! I'm gonna enjoy this…"

They were done for. There was nothing or nobody that could help them. They were two plumbers lying on sharp rocks, ready to be devoured by some terrible creature. Gloomtail was about to do another Megabreath attack, ready to poison them and watch them suffer as their organs began to corrode. Nothing else could be done…

"GENO WHIRL!"

"Whuh?" said Gloomtail, stupidly.

Then he saw this orange circular beam of plasma or some other energy source heading right towards his giant dragon body.

"Aw, shi--"

Before Gloomtail could finish, he was hit with an attack that could bring even notorious Mario bosses to their knees. Gloomtail was knocked onto his two hind legs, standing so high that his head broke into the ceiling. A massive wound was on his chest, blood pouring out of it heavily. He made a death roar and collapsed onto his stomach, rumbling the whole cave. He was dead. Mario and Luigi could tell by looking in his half-closed eyes that he was gone for good and was never going to disturb the Mushroom Kingdom again.

"That was…when did you get here Geno?" asked Mario.

"A couple minutes ago. I saw what was happening to you in Star Heaven so I possessed the Geno doll again and fell through the trap door. You guys were taking a serious beating!"

"Tell us something we don't know. You got any Ultra Shrooms?" asked Luigi.

Geno threw the green colored shrooms at the Mario Bros. and they slowly crawled to them, putting them into their mouths and swallowing it. After a few second, they were feeling good as new and standing up again, their wounds completely healed.

"It looks like Gloomtail here was merely a pawn in Bowser's schemes." said Geno.

"Well if he was just a pawn, I don't wanna know how tough a boss is!" said Luigi.

"We'll worry about that later; let's try and see how we can get out of here first."

"It's a cave. The only way out is the way we came in, but that hole in the ceiling is too high to get to." said Geno.

"What a second: After you defeated Gloomtail last time, didn't he spit up a treasure chest which showed the way through the Palace of Shadow?"

"Yeah…but he usually does it by now…" said Mario.

Suddenly Mario and the gang heard loud flatulence and a disgusting squishy sound far away. They ran towards Gloomtail's butt and saw that his bowels had released, into a very big pile of dragon poop.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!!" yelled Luigi.

"It's natural. When things die, they sometimes loosen their stomach contents all over themselves. …You think the treasure chest is in there?" wondered Mario.

"It could be. The last time Gloomtail was defeated, he landed on his back, so his stomach contents were directed more towards his throat. Since he landed on his stomach, the contents were pushed back. The fact that he also died means that it'd only be obvious he'd defecate." said Geno.

"When did you get smart?" asked Mario.

"I'm a star spirit trapped inside a doll; I know everything!"

"All I know is that I am _NOT _sticking my hand inside 200 pounds of dragon crap!" said Luigi.

"Don't look at me!" said Geno.

"Rock, paper, scissors to see who does it. Ready?"

Geno, Mario and Luigi played a game of rock paper scissors. Geno won the first round by making paper, beating both Luigi's and Mario's rock.

"Damn! Okay, now it's just us."

Mario lost the round with Luigi when he made paper and Mario made rock. But at the last second, Mario changed it to be scissors and won, smiling widely. Luigi was gonna have to sift through dragon feces to find the key in the hidden treasure chest.

"You son of a bitch!"


	4. Spelunking

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** The Koopa Bros. get lost in the sewers, the Koopalings discuss Roy's new plan, and the Mario Bros. spring another trap inside the caves.

**Spelunking**

All of the Koopalings were meeting with Roy Koopa in his castle in the middle of the Forest of Illusions. He had decided not to move his previous castle location at all, but he did modify it to his liking. For instance, he had filled it with green corrosive acid instead of red lava and the Bowser status breathed putrid green flames instead of normal fire breath. He even added a few putrid piranhas and spray-painted them so they were completely green with black spots. It was amazing that he was able to tolerate the smell.

"Now tell me why you turned your castle into a boiling cesspool again?" asked Morton Koopa Jr.

"You wanna tell me why you doused your castle with chocolate?" asked Roy.

"I already told you that day when I had Cocoa Puffs!"

* * *

Morton Koopa picked up a few cocoa puffs out of his cereal bowl and stared at them.

"Dude, how stupid would it be if I put a chocolate monster in my castle?"

"Pretty damn stupid Morton." said Lemmy.

"Yeah. It'd be all like 'Chocolate monsta! Chocolate--Chocolate monsta! Chocolate monsta! Chocolate--Chocolate monsta!'"

"SHUT UP! You are not Andy Milonakis!"

"Chocolate monsta--"

Roy took a frying pan and bashed it against Morton's head, knocking him out.

"Damnit Roy, you gotta stop doing that."

Roy and Lemmy observed Morton's body, seeing that he was bleeding heavily from the head.

"Wow…that's a lotta blood." said Lemmy.

"Yep…lotta blood."

"You think we should help him get medical attention?"

"No, let's just see how much blood flows out before it stops."

* * *

"You whacked me in the back of the head with a frying pan?!" asked Morton.

"Yeah, me and Lemmy just sat there until you lost like two liters of blood."

"Again, why did you turn your castle into a giant cesspool?" asked Larry Koopa.

"Well, since I haven't been showering for the last three months I started wiping all the gunk off my stinky feet and sticking it on the walls and the floor and stuff. Then I captured the piranha plants and made them breathe their bad breath all in the air so it'd stink like crazy." said Roy.

"That's what that smell is?!!" shouted Wendy Koopa.

"Okay two things Roy. One: Why didn't you just stick with the original idea in the first place? Two: Why didn't you just buy a can of odorant from the store instead of taming a bunch of putrid piranhas?" asked Iggy.

"What's odorant?" asked Roy.

"Deodorant reversed so it makes you smell worse. They got several spray cans of it; you could just buy one and spray it all over the place!"

"I don't even see why you thought of all this anyway." said Ludwig Von Koopa.

"Hey, blame that koopatrol that said we should try to gross out Mario."

"So that's your plan Roy? You're gonna stink Mario into a coma?" said Larry.

"Pretty much yeah."

All the Koopalings sighed.

"And you said my chocolate idea was stupid." muttered Morton.

**Meanwhile…**

"Why do we have to go through the sewers? I hate sewers man! They smell like crap and everyone says there are alligators in the sewers!" whined Yellow.

"There's no such thing as alligators in the sewers and it only smells like crap because you're walking in crap." said Green.

"Why would Toads try to go this way anyway?! Wouldn't they be too grossed out? I mean, there are cans and trash all in the water and the rats are bigger than my head!" said Dix.

The koopas arrived toward a waterfall that leads to the very bottom of the sewer system. If anyone jumped down, they'd surely die or get knocked into unconsciousness. If that wasn't enough, it was so dark that no one could even see the bottom. For all they knew, some horrible monster was stuck at the bottom waiting to eat them.

"That's a very looooong way down."

"No (censored) Green. Why don't you jump down and see if the Toads went that way?"

"Cause I'll die!"

"Not if you hide in your shell before you hit the bottom." advised Black.

"I'll still die you idiot! My shell will shatter and force of the impact will crush all my bones! Why don't you do it Yellow?"

"Why do I have to do it?! And don't say cause you said so!"

"Um…because we--I don't know!! Now why don't you just jump down the sewer!" said Red, throwing Yellow down the sewer hole.

At least that's what he thought he did. But somehow, Yellow magically appeared behind Red.

"Yellow, go down the hole!" he said, throwing him again.

"Go down the hole!"

Again, he threw him but he magically appeared next to Red.

"Go down the hole! Down the hole!"

Everytime he tried throwing him, he'd just magically appear right next to him.

"DOWN THE SEWERS!!!!"

Something really weird happened next. Yellow was stuck in a pose that made it look like he was about to fall down the sewer, but he suddenly froze in mid-air. About five seconds later, he poofed back next to Red, standing straight again. Red's eye began to twitch and he grabbed Yellow's arms.

"Now Yellow you are going to jump down this sewer and you are gonna--"

Yellow retracted into his shell and Red wound up throwing himself over the hole. Now usually, he'd fall down screaming to his death…but instead, he was left standing in mid-air.

"What the hell?!" shouted Red.

"FREEZE! Do not move a muscle and do not look down!" said Green.

"What!"

"This happens everytime in cartoons! As long as you don't try to run back here and don't look down, you'll be fine."

Red folded his arms. "So either I fall to my death or I stand in mid-air forever."

"Yeah!"

"…"

"…"

"…And people say I'm an idiot." muttered Black.

* * *

Geno, Luigi, and Mario were walking through a pitch-black cave system after Luigi eventually found the key from the treasure chest.

"So how'd it feel goin' through--"

"Shut your mouth Mario! When we get back home I'm gonna have to bury my hands in battery acid cause of what I just did." said Luigi.

"You're wearing gloves. Calm down." said Geno.

"Sure, you can talk. You didn't just spend 20 minutes sifting through dragon poop. And if you're so smart, why didn't you just Geno Whirl again to blast a hole through the door?"

"You know how many flower points I need to Geno Whirl?!"

"Wow, like it's so hard to shoot an orange disc out your hand."

"Fine, you think it's so easy? Geno Whirl. Go ahead, Geno Whirl right now."

"I was just--"

"Geno Whirl."

"You don't gotta be all--"

"Geno Whirl."

"I can't--"

"No, you say it's so easy to Geno Whirl so Geno Whirl."

"Geno--"

"Geno Whirl."

"Just--"

"GENO WHIRL BITCH! GENO WHIRL!!" shouted Geno.

"…Okay…I take it back. Geno Whirling is tougher than it sounds."

Mario tripped over a large rock, falling down another rocky hill and getting scars all over his body again.

"Hey Mario! Where'd you--"

Geno and Luigi began to grunt and groan when they followed in Mario's path, scarring themselves on the rocky hill.

"This isn't possible. We need to find some light source like a lightbulb or a flashlight or--"

"Watt?" said Mario.

"Yes, your old friend Watt would really help us right now, especially if there's another trap in here." said Geno.

"Yeah. Wouldn't it suck if we stepped on a tile and it--?"

Luigi took a step forward and stepped on a tile that was indeed another trap that Bowser's league set in place.

"Uh-oh."

The cave suddenly exploded and Mario, Geno, and Luigi fell through thin air, entering some weird alternate dimension. Their bodies collapsed onto a flat floating futuristic battle arena named Final Destination.

"Aw, man! Not this Super Smash Bros. crap again!"

All three of them turned around hearing this dark, menacing laughter and saw a black glove floating and wiggling its fingers in the air. It was Master Hand, now wearing a black glove to show his devotion to the Bowser League.

"Okay, okay, this isn't so bad. He's only got 300HP and at least Crazy Hand isn't here." said Mario.

Suddenly the group heard this weird insane laugh and saw this warped and rabid hand shaking like crazy, appearing out of nowhere. It was Master Hand's crazy left brother, Crazy Hand. Two of the hardest bosses that they've faced before were sitting right there, ready to attack.

"Let me get this straight: It's not even chapter six yet and we already have to fight the Master Hand brothers. How (censored) up is that?" said Luigi.


	5. Double the Gloves, Double the Pain

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Bowser and his gang gain another recruit, the Koopa Bros. find a surprise in the sewers, and the Mario Bros. have a brutal showdown with Master Hand and Crazy Hand.

**Double the Gloves, Double the Pain**

"So tell me why yet another dragon wants to join my league of international bad guys again?" asked Bowser.

"My name is Sharktail--"

"Heh, that's a laugh!"

"…I'm Gloomtail's third cousin from Lavalava Island and I want Mario to pay for his death!" shouted Sharktail.

"Okay, first of all, you need to do something about you and your cousins' dragon breath, cause that smell is really starting to get to me."

Sharktail growled at him.

"Secondly, I'm gonna have to spray paint you black. It's our little clan color, you know how it is."

"Can I keep my tail green?"

Bowser rolled his eyes. "Fine. And lastly…we need to test your fire breathing skills to see if it's large enough to roast someone alive. I do this with all fire-breathing recruits; just ask Lava Piranha and my son Ludwig Von Koopa."

"Whatever you say."

* * *

Bowser, Sharktail, and the rest of the villains were inside Bowser's fire breathing practice range melting targets with their fire breath.

"I don't get it. How come out of everyone here, only Jr. and Ludwig can breathe fire?? IT'S NOT FAIR!!" whined Larry Koopa.

"Do not question your father's gene…splicing…thingamajig! How the hell would I know only two of my offspring would breathe fire?"

"Didn't Mom breathe fire?"

"Kids, you don't have a mom."

Larry and Lemmy's eyes grew wide.

"What? Then how did we…?"

Bowser sharply inhaled, not knowing what to say next.

"What happens in Vegas…can sometimes get pregnant."

"…."

"…So we could have like, eight different Moms?" asked Lemmy.

"Well…see…you--I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR QUESTIONS!" yelled Bowser.

Sharktail tried breathing fire, but only green poison breath came out.

"ARGGHH! I can't do it! I don't see why my cousin Hooktail can!"

"Cause you're not doing it right! See, you gotta inhale just the right amount of air, and the spit glands will trigger this powder so when you blow, it explodes out your mouth in fire form."

"Ew. You're blowing fiery spit?"

"Pretty much. Anyway, just watch me."

Bowser inhaled and lifted his head in the air, spitting out blue and red colored flames.

"Oh, that is cool! Do it again!"

Bowser inhaled again and blew fire breath…or fire smoke, since only a couple of wheezy black clouds came out his mouth.

"Damnit, I did it wrong."

"Suuuuure you did Dad." muttered Larry.

"SHUT UP! Let me try blowing fire in front of me instead."

Bowser inhaled real sharply and was ready to set a wooden target in flames. The only problem was that it came out the wrong end. Bowser farted a stream of fire, making the target room reek of rotting eggs. Bowser couldn't help but be embarrassed and his cheeks turned red as Larry and Lemmy rolled on the floor laughing.

"Err….yeah that happens sometimes."

"My cousins never do that. And one of them was over 1,000 years old!"

"…You gotta stop eating eggs Dad. I think they give you gas." said Larry.

**Meanwhile…at Final Destination**

"What's one move we can use to defeat one of them in one blow?" asked Luigi.

"Give me that Shroom Cake!" demanded Geno.

"But it's mine!"

"GIMME IT!"

Geno gulped down the Shroom Cake and it restored most of his FP. He had enough to do another Geno Whirl.

"GENO WHIRL!" yelled Geno.

Crazy Hand wiggled his fingers like crazy and the orange disk zoomed beyond him, flying its way through space.

"Oh, (censored)."

Crazy Hand grabbed Geno and started crushing him over and over again, making his hand into a fist. Then he threw Geno into the air with a big flower on his head. Geno screamed horribly when he flew off the playing field and was a little soaring dot falling in the distance, which eventually disappeared into a twinkle.

"NO! GENO!!!"

Geno suddenly fell back onto the playing field, his health completely refilled.

"Relax guys, I got two lives left."

Both of the Master Hand Bros. twinkled and they both clapped against each other five times, crushing Mario, Luigi, and Geno in the middle.

"Ow. Enough talking! Let's fight!" said Mario.

He jumped in the air and jump-kicked Crazy hand twice, then did a boost jump and collected five coins. Geno blasted several stars at Master Hand and quickly jumped in the air when he was walking on the board with his middle and pointer finger.

"YAHOO!!!" yelled Mario as he did a tornado spin right on top of Crazy Hand's glove.

Luigi was slammed into the ground when Master Hand rose into the air and slammed his palm straight onto the Final Destination playing field. Luigi returned the favor, shooting several green fireballs at him. The Master Hand Bros. formed fists and slammed their knuckles against each other, knocking Mario off the playing field. Luigi and Geno could only watch as his body was disintegrated in a bright light from the side of space.

But luckily, Mario had two more lives left.

"You have any idea how much it hurts to die?!" yelled Mario.

"You got blasted with 2.5 million degrees Celsius of heat in half a second. I'm pretty sure that hurts." said Geno.

"Like you know everything." scoffed Luigi.

Master Hand slapped Luigi so hard he was flung off the side of space, losing a life a disintegrating in 2.5 million degrees of heat. His body reappeared and fell down on the board again.

"Nevermind."

**Down in the Sewers…**

"Can't we throw a rope--?"

"He's too far away Black! There's nothing we can do!" said Dix.

"Guys I've been standing in mid-air for an hour now!! Can I please just try walking back to the ledge?!"

"NO! Um…why don't you try sitting down? Maybe you'll fall and--and you could hide in your shell to brace for the impact of the fall." suggested Black.

Red sat down…yet he didn't fall. He was now sitting in mid-air.

"WHAT THE (censored)?!" screamed Red.

"Invisible floor! That's gotta be it! There's gotta be a bridge connecting to the end that we can't see!"

"You guys are the biggest idiots ever! You ever thought about flappin' your little wings and flyin' over here dumbass!?"

"My wings don't work in moist areas! They get all soggy and I can only fly for a couple seconds before I fall. You could literally pull them off right now if you wanted to." said Dix.

"Seriously?"

Black ripped off Dix's wings real quickly. He didn't even manage to scream; he just held the back of his shells while making a sustained high-pitched airy squeal. Then he passed out.

"Dix? Dude, wake up."

"Dumbass." mumbled Red.

* * *

"Now I know we're supposed to be looking for something to help Red, but we found one of our escaping Toads. What should we do with him Yellow?" asked Green.

"Y'know, I was thinking about using the stone hammer and just whacking the crap outta him until that fat little shroom on his head explodes."

"Well, let's look inside the weapons bag."

Green and Yellow turned around to look inside the weapons bag to find the appropriate weapon to kill the Toad.

"Uh, what about that laser gun that Red used?" said Yellow.

"No. OOH! We could beat him to a pulp with these sticks and use him as a hostage!"

"Yeah. I guess we could do that. Let's get the sticks."

Green and Yellow turned around and noticed that the Toad had run off.

"UH-OH! He got away."

Green threw down his stick and stared at Yellow.

"Damnit Yellow!"

* * *

"I am walking back to the ledge! That's final!"

"No, Red don't!"

As soon as Red took another step forward, gravity began to work and he plummeted to the bottom of the sewer, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"RED! I'll comin' for ya Red! I'm comin!"

Black grunted when he jumped right into the hole…only to fall down on his back.

"What the (censored) man?! Does gravity just shut off on this hole? Maybe if I walk back--"

The second Black tried walking back to the ledge, he fell down the hole, screaming even louder than Red did, splashing in the dirty sewage water.

* * *

Crazy Hand was screaming and spiraling out of control when his hand began exploding, flying off the edge of the screen. Geno and the Mario Bros. had defeated him, but they all suffered another life in the process.

"We can do this! He's only got 100HP left! WE CAN DO THIS!" said Luigi.

Suddenly Master Hand slapped Luigi so far off the screen, he almost lost his life in the process. But he did a double jump and a boost jump at the last second, his hand hanging at the edge of the platform.

"LUIGI!!"

Mario grabbed his brother's hand, holding on for dear life. But his glove was slowly slipping off…

"GENO WHIRL!!!" yelled Geno.

He forgot that all his stats refilled after he died both times, so he had enough FP to do another Geno Whirl.

"Oh, sh--"

Master Hand was blasted away with the Geno Whirl and he began to explode repeatedly, just like his brother did. Suddenly, everything began to turn white and the platform and the dimension they were trapped in began to deteriorate. The Master Hand Bros. were dead, but Geno and the Mario Bros. were slowly falling down a hole that could've been bottomless for all they knew. They couldn't do anything at all, but fall. Fall into another dimension, fall into the sewers the Koopa Bros. were lost in…even fall right in front of Bowser and his goons. All they did know was that whenever they landed wherever they were going to land, it was going to hurt. A lot.

**Back in the Sewers…**

Red and Black resurfaced from the sewage waste, gasping and panting like crazy.

"Red! Are you okay, man?"

"Think I broke my leg dude…and I think we're stuck down here."

"Well, it can't get any worse than this…"

"BLOOOOOOOPER!!"

The two Ninjakoopas heard this loud squealing gushy-like sound from beneath their feet. Two slimy white tentacles appeared from the water, twirling themselves and ready to drag Black and Red underneath the water.

"You and your big mouth."


	6. A Weed that Reeks Like Bowser's Feet

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Red and Black try to escape the giant Blooper, Peach is reunited with Twink, and the Mario Bros. gain another partner…just in time for Bowser to deploy his contingency plan.

**A Weed that Reeks Like Bowser's Feet**

Peach was stuck inside Bowser's fortress, enclosed inside her room again with two koopatrols guarding it. It was just like Paper Mario again…only Bowser didn't have the Star Rod to make him invincible. This was the one time when Bowser didn't kidnap Peach for his own selfish wants. He needed her as bait so Mario would come to the fortress and get caught in their trap.

"Great. I got kidnapped by Bowser again, I'm stuck in this fortress again, and Mario has to save me…again. This is really, really starting to get old." muttered Peach.

Bowser suddenly entered her room out of nowhere, possibly wanting to have a light conversation with Peach or was about to woo her with his "charm."

"No, we're not going to have a conversation, no I'm not going to fall in love with you and no, we're not going to have sex. There, I said it. Can you leave now?"

(Damn, I guess sex is out of the question). thought Bowser.

He sighed. "For once Peach, I did not kidnap you for my own pleasure. I kidnapped you as leverage so Mario will come here and we'll kill him." said Bowser.

"He doesn't even know I've been kidnapped yet! How is he going to save me and spring your trap?"

"That's why we kidnapped several residents from Toad Town and have them held hostage by the Koopa Bros. Naturally, he'll go save them where the Koopa Bros. will then defeat them and if that doesn't work, we always have a plan B."

"What's Plan B?"

"You'll see."

"I still don't get it Bowser. Since when do you kidnap me just to lure Mario here?"

"I DO IT ALL THE TIME!!!"

"No, everytime you kidnap me, you want me to do something for you in return. Remember Paper Mario?"

"Yes, yes we all know about Paper Mario. Um…since you don't want ANY form of sex…you're just gonna be the house bitch."

Peach's eyes grew wide. "What?"

"Yeah. First off…I want you to rub my feet."

Bowser sat down and put his feet in the air, waiting for Peach to start massaging them.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Bowser I'm not touching your smelly feet without putting on a gasmask at least!"

"…Okay let's put it this way: You put up with my stinky feet and you won't have to eat dinner in front of my minions naked."

Bowser laughed when he saw Peach's disgusting expression. Sure, she could find some sort of covering for herself…but she was a princess for Pete's sake! Dining naked wasn't…elegant or charming or any other word to describe how princesses act. Besides, all she had to do was breathe through her mouth for a few minutes. It couldn't be _that _bad.

"I'm waiting…" growled Bowser.

Peach groaned.

**Down in the Sewers…**

"LOOK OUT!" yelled Red.

Black was almost sucked underwater when the Blooper swiped its tentacle on top of his head. The Blooper's suckers snatched off Black's bandanna from his head, making him look uncool and nothing like a Ninjakoopa at all.

"Gimme back my bandanna you slimy bastard!"

Black dove down and started swimming right towards the Blooper's face. He kicked at its tentacle over and over again and yanked the bandanna from the suckers. Black quickly swam to the surface, reunited with his brother.

"You risked your life over a stupid bandanna?!"

"It makes us look cool bro. I thought you knew that."

"So (censored) buy one at the Dollar Mart you idiot!"

Red and Black quickly swam to a small walkway down in the sewers, trying to find something to fight back against the Blooper.

"Okay, there's a gigantic Blooper in the sewer that ready to eat us. What do we do?" asked Red.

"Oh! Oh! Pick me! I know, I know, I know!" said Black, jumping up and down raising his hand.

"Yes…Black?"

"Why don't we step on all of its tentacles, yank them off, then pull on his nose until he flies back into the water?"

"Yeah, that's reeeeeal smart Black. Yank on its tentacles until it pops back into the water and dies."

"That IS smart! Mario did that in Super Mario Sunshine!"

"Oh, snap! He did! …Let's give it a try."

The Blooper roared underwater again and four of the tentacles appeared, sticking onto the ground, slithering their ways toward Red and Black.

"Black! Get on top of me!"

"What!"

"Hop on my shell so we can form the Koopa Spin move!! Jeez, what do you think I meant?"

"You don't wanna know."

Red got into position and Black hopped on top of his shell. The two of them began to spin rapidly and then they zoomed right over the Blooper's tentacles, flattening them.

"Now quickly yank 'em off before they puff up again!" yelled Red.

Red and Black grabbed the Blooper's slimy tentacles, slowly walking backwards and using all their strength to pull them off. The Blooper suddenly made a bubbling groaning noise and the tentacles popped off, flailing all over the place.

"Okay, just two more tentacles and then we can--"

Black screamed when the Blooper abruptly lashed its other tentacle at Black and sucked him back under, ready to devour him.

"BLACK!!" yelled Red, diving back into the water.

* * *

"Damnit Yellow, this isn't working!" said a Hammer Bros.

Yellow sighed. "You're right. We only lost a couple Toads; it's not like they can do anything. We better get back to the castle and start guarding the others before they get bright ideas too."

"That's the first smart thing you've said all day." said Green.

"What about Black and Red?"

"Red can take care of himself. It's not like they're facing off against a giant Blooper or something."

"…This is the sewer. Sewers are notorious for having Blooper's of all shapes and sizes Green." said Yellow.

"They're fine Yellow! Now let's get back to the castle before the other Toads escape!"

* * *

Yellow and Green and the other koopas arrived back inside the castle, realizing all of the guards had been tied up and gagged, and all the prisoners were gone.

"Oh, (censored)." said Green.

"Okay, if Bowser finds out about this, what'll happen to us Green?" asked Yellow.

"We'll get burned by his fire breath and we're out of this league."

"What if we just up and tell him?"

"We'll get burned by his fire breath and we're out of this league."

"…Is there a third option?"

"We can try to kill Bowser, but then the League of Evil Bower Minions will retaliate against us."

"Is there an option that doesn't involve us getting thrown out the league, dying or getting severely burned!?"

"Nope."

**Back in the castle…**

Someone began to tap on Peach's window over and over again. Peach looked up to see that it was Twink, fully grown and glittering yellow. She opened up the back door and they greeted each other.

"Twink! I'm so glad to--wait. I didn't make a wish to the Start Spirits."

"Yeah, but I figured Bowser would hold you in one of his castle's like usual, so here I am! …Why do your gloves smell like Bowser's feet?"

"Don't ask. Since you're a Star Spirit now, can you go beat the crap out of Bowser and rescue all the Toads again?"

Twink frowned and sharply inhaled. "No."

"…I don't get it. You're officially a Star Spirit who has the power to do anything now. Before, you were too little and too young to do anything; now you're practically an adult star."

"True…but we Star Spirits only use our power for good, not evil."

"But Bowser is evil!"

"Yeah, but nevertheless, we can't use our powers to inflict pain upon others. Sorry, it's some sort of rule."

"That's stupid."

"I know."

"So, what…do I just sit here and tell you to alert Mario if I hear of any upcoming news about Bowser?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

Peach sighed and looked around the room. She remembered how she was always able to sneak outside her room with the same secret passageway, so maybe this castle had one too. Then she spotted it. A picture that was practically transparent. She could literally see inside it and realized it was an air vent that hopefully leads to somewhere where Bowser would be talking to Kammy Koopa and his other cronies.

"Hey, Twink…does that picture look suspicious to you?"

* * *

"Damnit, damnit, damnit!" yelled Bowser, stamping his foot on the floor repeatedly.

"Please calm down Lord Bowser! You'll raise your blood pressure again!" warned Kammy Koopa.

"How do two plumbers and a doll defeat Master & Crazy Hand in one fell swoop?!" he shouted.

"We don't know, but it happened."

"What about the Koopa Bros. capturing the Toad Town residents and holding them in their castle?"

"We don't know about that current situation right now. They haven't updated us yet."

"So we can assume they failed too. DAMNIT!!" roared Bowser, throwing a chair against the wall.

"I think it's time we came up with another plan." muttered Wario.

"Yeah, like my brilliant idea!" said Petey Piranha.

"What idea was that?" asked Morton.

"Mario's got a band of pirates and sailors on Keelhaul Key…pirates that he put his life on the line to save. Now I got my own little coalition of ravenous different kinds of Piranha Plants that are just dying to take a bite outta someone. So…why don't you let me take my Piranha Plants and get these guys?"

"What's the point of this again?" asked Bowser.

"It'll lure Mario into one of our traps and he'll be sittin' in my colon by this time tomorrow. I can guarantee that."

Bowser smiled devilishly. "Now see…that's the smartest idea I've heard all day. Everyone continue brainstorming on any other ways to defeat Mario. Petey, you get your band of plants together and go to Keelhaul Key. If this works out correctly, you guys won't even have to think of more ideas. Then we'll finally be able to rule the Mushroom Kingdom! MWAHAHAHA!!!"

It's too bad that Bowser didn't look up right behind him…because Peach was looking through the air conditioning vents and heard every word they said.

**Back with Mario and the gang…**

Mario, Luigi, and Geno landed on their faces on the ground, but they were finally out of the caves now. The gang appeared in the Koopa Village somehow, and Mario landed right on top of Kooper.

"OW! What the hell?" said Kooper.

Everyone stood up and saw Kooper.

"Oh, hey Mario. How's it goin'? …What were you doin' in the sky dude?"

"Complicated. Don't feel like explaining. Bad things are happening right now and we need your help again."

"Damn, that was fast. Last time you needed my help, we had to beat the snot outta some Fuzzies and you had to get my shell back."

Kooper glanced at Geno, and both of them had question mark bubbles pop over their heads.

"What're you doing with a doll Mario?"

"I'm not a doll! I'm a star spirit _inside _of a doll. Big difference."

"Yeah…and I see you brought your brother along with you. It's just like Paper Mario all over again."

"For the last freakin' time: THIS IS NOT PAPER MARIO!!!!" yelled Luigi.

"Suuuure it isn't." said Kooper, smiling.

"Now that we're outta that cave, what do we do?" asked Geno.

"You're the smart one; you tell us." said Luigi.

"Well…let's just stand here until Twink bonks you on the head again Mario."

"Like that's really gonna work."

"It worked last time."

"Yeah, but last time we wound up fighting a dragon with bad breath, and two psychotic floating gloves. Next thing you know, we'll be fighting carnivorous plants!"

Mario laughed. "That'd be a silly adventure now wouldn't it?"

**Meanwhile, on Keelhaul Key…**

Pa-Patch and many other pirates were cooking over a camping fire in the middle of the night. All the pirates were cracking jokes and talking about the various treasures that Cortez had collected while he was still alive. Some of them even began to contemplate stealing the rest of Cortez's treasures, but they changed their minds when Cortez suddenly appeared in front of them. He didn't even warn them; he just appeared for a few minutes and went away. Despite the fact he was friendly, Cortez could still pose a threat to the group.

"Hey Pa-Patch, what's that up there?" asked a pirate Toad.

"I dunno, but it's flappin' like crazy and carryin' some plants or somethin' wif it."

Petey Piranha dropped to the ground in front of Pa-Patch and his pirates, pounding up a lot of sand from the beach. Along with him were several putrid piranhas, piranha plants and even a couple of frost piranhas and pale piranhas. Petey Piranha smiled widely at the group.

"I need…a weed hacker…"


	7. Reunion

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Bowser's brother decides to pay a visit, while the Koopa Bros. must figure out what to do now that their plan has failed.

**Reunion**

Bowser was inside his castle, trying to fix a broken coffee machine while talking to his brother, Trowzer. He looked exactly like Bowser, but all his colors were exactly the opposite. His shell was blue and his spikes were green, while Bowser's shell was black with white spikes. His hair was yellow instead of red-orange, like Bowser's. In fact, Trowzer was only a couple weeks older than Bowser, so they were practically twins.

"Look, I know you want in on this deal--"

"I'm your older brother Bowser. Anything that includes you includes me too."

His voice was a little softer, yet more menacing than Bowser's. He didn't yell as much, but that doesn't mean he wasn't as bad, if not worse than his brother.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I want to help you kill this Mario character."

"Why?"

"Because I--"

"OW! Piece of junk!" yelled Bowser when the machine shocked him.

"Because I already know how to and cause I want to be at your side when you finally take over this kingdom. All these other rulers think that peace is the way to go, but no…that's not how I see it."

Bowser screamed when the coffee machine zapped him painfully.

"GOD, MY HAND!!!"

Bowser growled and dumped the machine out the window, hitting a koopatrol guard on the head.

"What the (censored)?!"

"Sorry Steve!" yelled Bowser.

"Like I was saying, everyone thinks we should be peaceful to all the other races out there and align with their treaties. But frankly, I think we need to just…destroy them."

"…What?"

"First off, we kill Mario. Then we start gunning for the current leaders of the Mushroom Kingdom. After that, you'll instantly become the ruler of this nation and can do whatever you want to."

Bowser smiled. "That sounds good."

"I wasn't finished. With the power you'll posses, we can take over ANYTHING we want. Isle Delfino, Rogueport, hell even Dinosaur Land! We'll be able to do whatever we want and no one will stand in our way!"

"What if they do stand in our way?"

"They die. It's that simple. They can join us or die after we finish this."

Bowser smiled devilishly and chuckled evilly.

"I finally found someone with the perfect idea! And all this time, I thought you were the stupid one in the family!"

Trowzer growled deeply without opening his mouth.

"What about the kids?"

"What kids?"

"I got eight kids; they gotta be included in my--"

"OUR." growled Trowzer.

"Right, OUR master plan."

"Fine, but no one else. We gotta keep this secret before the public catches wind of it."

* * *

"Hey, kids, wanna meet your uncle? asked Bowser.

All the kids looked confused.

"We have an uncle?" asked Junior.

"Yeah, a long lost uncle I've never mentioned till now."

"Cool! What's his name?"

"His name's Trowzer." said Trowzer, walking into the room.

Lemmy laughed. "Trowzer?! Like the pants?"

"Yeah, like the pants. Get over it."

"Well, you look burlier than Dad does; that's a plus in my book." said Roy.

"Hey!"

"Dad, most of it is just fat alright? If you just sat on someone, you'd kill them."

Trowzer laughed.

"Yeah, that's true. My brother ate constantly when we were young."

"Don't push it bro…" warned Bowser.

"Calm down Dad. Least his breath stinks worse than yours!"

Bowser laughed.

"Wait, what?! Who said my breath stinks!?"

"Who doesn't say your breath stinks Bowser?" asked Trowzer.

"Okay, subject change. Trowzer's got this awesome plan to conquer the world and I think you should hear it."

"Right. You kids have all your troops deployed all around Dinosaur Land and other islands, yeah?"

"Yeah." said Wendy.

"Okay then, you keep the troops there while my brother and I figure out what to do with Mario."

"We already planned that." said Morton.

"You didn't plan the aftermath. After Mario's dead, we're gonna use the rest of our soldiers to invade the other islands and conquer even more land. Pretty soon, we'll be able to rule this whole planet. Who knows, maybe we could even travel to other planets and conquer those too."

"Ooh, that sounds good! Dad, why didn't you think of that?" asked Ludwig.

"Wh--I DID!"

"Yeah, well…it didn't work." said Trowzer.

Bowser growled at him, ready to punch Trowzer in the face.

"I'll go get the troops ready while you guys continue discussing your plans. See you later."

Trowzer walked out the room and locked the door.

"Okay, I need you guys to be 100% percent honest with me: Does my breath stink?" asked Bowser.

"If by 'stink' you mean smells like gym socks and month old eggs, then yes…your breath stinks." said Lemmy.

**Down in the sewers…**

Red and Black had been submerged underwater for over 65 seconds, not showing any progress of returning to the surface. It seemed like the blooper had dragged them too far underwater and devoured them. Or maybe Red killed the blooper and saved his brother, but he wasn't able to hold his breath long enough to swim back up and drowned. Either way, things were looking grim. Suddenly, two bubbles popped on the surface of the water, followed by four more. Then a whole series of bubbles exploded and Red appeared on the surface, breathing heavily and groaning.

He swam weakly towards the surface of the sewer and slowly crawled onto it with his subdued brother. Red lay on his side (making sure he didn't fall on his shell) and started coughing violently. Then he vomited up a bunch of sewage water and ink, feeling completely terrible and weak. Red walked over to Black and started performing CPR, trying to revive him.

"Damnit Black, wake up! You are not going to die on me now!" he yelled.

But no matter how many times he pressed down on his chest, Black wouldn't open his eyes or start moving. Red started to get angry and frustrated and started pounding on his chest with his fist.

"WAKE THE (censored) UP!"

Red was two clicks away from jumping on his chest, but he couldn't deal with the fact that he inadvertently killed his brother. Red sighed and rubbed his head, not knowing what else to do. Then he groaned when he looked at his mouth. The only way to revive him was by clearing his airway with mouth-to-mouth procedure.

"Goddamnit…" muttered Red.

Red shut his eyes and quickly blew hard into Black's mouth, reviving him. Black screamed and quickly jumped back, coughing up some water.

"Black! You're alive!"

"What are you, a fag?!" yelled Black.

"I just saved your ass and you're accusing me of being gay?!!?"

"You were kissing me!"

"I was giving you mouth-to-mouth! Jeez, will you calm down?"

"NO! You put you slimy lips on me!"

"Y'know what? Fine! I'll just let your ass drown next time!"

"Thank you!" said Black, wiping his lips.

Black started wiping off his shell and noticed a lot of black sticky stuff was on it.

"How'd this ink get on me?"

Red started wiping his shell to and noticed a bunch of ink was on him. He had to travel inside the blooper's mouth in order to save Black, and he wound up coming out with a bunch of ink on him. At least, that's what it looked like…

"That's not ink…"

"Well, what is it?"

"It's not ink…"

"Dude, it smells like oil! I'm pretty sure it's ink."

Red sighed. "It's not ink…"

Black looked confused. "So what is it?"

"It…is not…ink."

Black grumbled. "Whatever."

"Let's just get back to the surface and find Green and Yellow before another blooper tries to kill us."

**Back at the castle…**

"What're we gonna do? What the hell are we gonna do Green?!" asked Dix.

"Calm down! We're gonna try and reason with Bowser and see if he'll give us a second chance."

"What if he fries us with his breath?" said Yellow.

"Just--let me take care of it, alright? I know what I'm doing."

Green walked up to Bowser's door to his room and started thinking about what could happen.

**Plan A**

"So, how did the plan go?" asked Bowser.

"Great. Toads are dead, Mario's dead, they're all dead." said Green.

"Nice! I'm promoting you to my second-in-command!"

"Nice! Can I have five million bucks?"

"Sure! Here ya go!"

Bowser threw Green a giant moneybag.

"Yay! I'm rich!"

* * *

"No, that won't work." muttered Green.

**Plan B**

"Listen bitch, I'm gonna give it to you straight forward: We failed. It's over. But that's too bad, because we got an even better plan that'll blow your mind. And if you don't like it, you can just shove it up your ass and we're walking!"

"…I'm mad…but the fact that you honestly told me what happened means I can trust you. You can stay with the team. In fact, how bout I make you my second-in-command?"

"Damn straight I'm your second-in-command!"

* * *

"Okay…plan C."

**Plan C**

Green walked over to the wall and grabbed an axe from a broken photo fame, ready to kill Bowser.

"Don't do it kid." said Bowser, who saw Green get the axe.

"…I never had a choice."

Green threw the axe, but Bowser simply caught it and laughed. Then Green yelped and ducked when Bowser threw it back in his direction.

"Hey, Green, how's the plan--"

The axe impaled Yellow in the head and instantly killed him.

"You (censored) killed him!" yelled Green.

"NO!"

Bowser lashed his claws at Green's throat. He started bleeding heavily and began groaning and gagging, slowly dying from his neck wound. Then he fell down and bled to death.

* * *

Green was outside, inhaling and exhaling out of a paper bag, sweating like crazy.

"So I take it you didn't talk to him?" said Yellow.

"PISS OFF! You guys never would've done it!"

"We can't sit here pissing our shells like little koopas still in our eggs guys!" said a Hammer Bros.

"So what do we do?" asked Yellow.

"I got it! Doesn't Bowser have an older brother named Trowzer?"

"The one with the blue shell and stinky breath?"

"Yeah, him! He's a lot calmer than Bowser is! Maybe I can talk to him and see what happens."

**Meanwhile, in Trowzer's chamber…**

Green was trying hard not to shake or sweat, but it wasn't doing too good. His brother wasn't providing any comfort, since he almost wet his shell when they walked in. One of Trowzer's main lieutenant's, a shady Russian koopa named Kirzvolitken, was standing next to him.

"Why are you bothering me right now again?" asked Trowzer.

"Um…see w-we kind messed up on this job and um…" started Green.

"You want me to tell my brother about it and persuade him not to kill you guys?"

"YES! WHEW! I am so relieved! Now, if you could--"

"Who said I would do it?" asked Trowzer.

Green gulped hard and started sweating.

"But-but you said that--"

Trowzer laughed. "I'm just kidding. I'll go tell in a couple of minutes and see what he says."

Green sighed. "That's great."

Just as Green and Yellow were walking out, Trowzer stopped them to make an offer.

"Tell you what: How's about you guys join my army ranks and I don't even tell Bowser what happened?"

Green raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Sure! …Just as long as you don't screw up again. All you gotta do is wear blue and make a green lightning symbol somewhere on your body."

"Great, that's-that's great!"

"We're gonna go now." said Yellow.

"Yeah, see ya."

Green and Yellow ran out of Trowzer's room.

"Green! Wait a second!"

"What?"

"…I think someone just peed in my shell."

Green sighed. "That's a relief; I thought it was mine."

* * *

"You really want those bozos on our team?" said Kirzvolitken with a thick accent.

"It doesn't matter. Those guys are too stupid to be valuable and are more worthless than chain-chomp (censored)."

"This is true. So how long until you get rid of them?"

"I only need them to help me kill Mario. Like I said, they're stupid. Just like my brother. They don't deserve to be involved in _my _new world that _I _will rule. The minute that Mario dies, Bowser is…"

Kirzvolitken suddenly stared at Trowzer.

"…"

"…"

"…What, uh…what do you mean by that?"

Trowzer smiled and chuckled.

"Nothing. I meant nothing by it."

Trowzer walked out the room, chuckling to himself, while Kirzvolitken just looked at the door, puzzled at what he just heard.


	8. Weed Hacker, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 1 of 3. Pa-Patch and his band of pirates battle with Petey Piranha and his piranha plants, Mario and the gang encounter Red and Black in the Koopa Village, and Trowzer tries to persuade one of Bowser's troops to align with his pack.

**Weed Hacker (part 1)**

Trowzer was outside, walking and talking with one of Bowser's koopatrol units.

"Say Steve, how long you been working with Bowser's Evil League Coalition?"

"Dude, this thing started a couple days ago. And besides, I've been working with Bowser for the last 12 years. Banning with all these villains just makes me more devoted towards working with him."

Trowzer sighed.

"All right, let's just skip to the end of this conversation so I can say what I need to say: Do you think my brother's an idiot?"

Steve laughed. "Does my shell have spikes on the back?"

"So um…why would you follow someone who is dumber than a sack of peanuts?"

"It's not like I hate the guy. I mean, he's an asshole at times, but when I finally got to know him, he's not so bad. Besides, this is the first plan he's came up with that could actually work."

"Or maybe it'll fail, backfire, and Bowser'll get his ass kicked again."

"Well, that's a weird thing to say."

"Why?"

"Cause he's your brother. If I was Bowser's brother, I'd be at his side, supporting him with his evil deeds until his plans succeeded, or failed."

"So I take it you're not going to join my army after Mario dies?"

Steve huffed.

"I was loyal to Bowser yesterday, I'm loyal to Bowser today, and I'll be loyal to Bowser tomorrow. That's not gonna change just because you think he's stupid."

Trowzer stared at him angrily, wondering if he should punch him in the mouth.

"I got work to do. See ya."

Steve began to walk away from Trowzer.

"Hey, Steve, what's your brother's name again?" he asked.

"Kasey, why?"

But as soon Steve turned around, Trowzer was gone.

* * *

"Where the 'ell is Cortez an' those ghosts?!?" yelled Pa-Patch.

"He's giving a bunch of Toads of tour of Rougueport on his ship!" said one of the Pirates.

"Oh, goddamnit! What's wif all these weeds anyways?!"

Pa-Patch walked up to a group of piranha plants and blew himself up, incinerating a large portion of them. Some of the Toads got a Snowman doll and used it on the group, freezing some of the pale piranhas and putrid piranhas. But right when they were about to shatter, they suddenly turned into frost piranhas.

"What the hell? That does NOT happen in Paper Mario!" complained the shopkeeper on the island.

Pa-Patch quickly ran up to the shopkeeper and yelled, "THIS IS NOT PAPER MARIO!" slapping him with each syllable he said.

"How do you slap me when you got no hands?!!!?"

"I DON'T KNOW!!"

Another bob-omb named Bombbardos blew himself up next to the frost piranhas, shattering their bodies all over the beach.

"Stop questioning the laws of science and just get some bloody weapons to kill these weeds awright!?" he yelled.

A couple of Toads hid behind a set of large rocks, yanking the fire pellets out of the fire flowers and throwing them at the plants. Some of the pale piranhas turned bright orange and fell backwards, completely burned from the inside.

"It's funny…I never knew we could yank the fire pellets out the fire flowers…and it's even more amazing that they burn the piranha plants, but not us." said a Toad.

"…Dude, shut the (censored) up and be happy that this is being used towards our advantage." said another Toad.

Suddenly two putrid piranhas walked up behind them and breathed their poison breath on the three Toads. The stench was enough to mess with their vision and was so strong that it'd knocked them out, rendering them unconscious in a matter of seconds.

"Someone get me a Mega Shroom!" yelled the shopkeeper.

As a Toad tossed the Shroom to the owner, a piranha plant jumped right in fromt of him and swallowed it, gaining all his health back.

"Ah, you bitch." muttered the shopkeeper, ducking before the plant bit him.

Pa-Patch appeared from behind the plant and blew himself up, blasting the plant to pieces.

"C'mon guys! These weeds are ready to give up!" said Pa-Patch.

Suddenly, several of the Toads were getting sucked underground, disappearing into the sand in a matter of seconds.

"Whoa…what the--"

The shopkeeper was also sucked under the sand as well, leaving Pa-Patch and the others behind. Now only Pa-Patch and Bombbardos were left, facing a whole battalion of piranha plants.

"Seriously…I need a weed hacker." muttered Pa-Patch.

**Meanwhile…in the Koopa Village…**

Red and Black were gasping loudly when they went through a pipe that lead them all the way back to the Koopa Village safe and sound. They were tired and wet, covered in sewage waste, stinking like crazy. They just wanted to go back to Bowser's castle so they could sleep in the cold pool he had there.

"What the hell?!? Why are we back in the Koopa Village!?" yelled Red.

"I think we took the wrong tunnel…" said Black.

"Thank you dumbass for pointing out something I did not know. That's really great." said Red sarcastically.

"You don't gotta be a dick about it!"

Red and Black slowly squeezed their way through the pipe and landed on the ground of the Koopa Village, landing in a bush full of Koopa leaves.

"Okay, okay…if we go to Star Heaven, maybe we can ask the Star Spirits to make that spaceship that Mario used to get to Bowser's castle before." said Black.

"We're the bad guys Black! The Star Spirits would never help out bad guys you goddamn retard!"

Black started chuckling to himself.

"What're you laughing at?!"

"You got toilet paper up your butt!"

Red dug up his shell and yanked out a long piece of soggy, multi-colored toilet paper.

"…Ooookaaaay..."

"Yeah, it probably got stuck in there when we swimming in the sewer--"

"I know, I know. Uh…you wait here while I go throw up on that tree."

"Okay. Have fun!"

* * *

"We've been standing here for hours! Twink is not gonna show up!" yelled Luigi.

"He's right Mario! It's already the middle of the night; we're wasting our time just sitting here when Bowser and his goons could be causing another set of mayhem and turmoil!" said Geno.

"Alright, fine. Screw Twink; we can just do random stuff until we hear that music again."

"What music?" asked Kooper.

"You know, that music you hear whenever we find something important or open up a new route somewhere? They played it all the time in Paper Mario when I was in the Palace of Shadow!" said Mario.

Bizarre music played in the distance.

"See? That means we should go that way."

"…"

"…"

"…We're relying on music to guide us to Bowser's castle. How gay is that?"

"Shut up Luigi."

* * *

Red and Black continued to walk down the Koopa Village path, ultimately realizing that they had to walk all the way back to Bowser's castle.

"So how long before we get to Bowser's castle?" asked Black.

"I dunno, couple hours at least." said Red.

It was at that point where Mario and his gang and the Koopa Bros. walked right up to each other, standing there and staring into their eyes.

"What--" said Red.

"The--" said Mario.

"BUTT!!" yelled Black.

Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"Butt????"

"I meant (censored)! (Censored)! I was gonna say (censored)!"

Black scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously.

**Back on the island…**

Petey Piranhas was standing right in front of Bombbardos and Pa-Patch, opening his mouth.

"What the--"

Petey vomited several gallons worth of brown goop, covering the two bob-ombs beyond recognition. Both of them shook the goop off themselves, just in time for Pa-Patch to start getting sucked under by a piranha plant.

"Pull me out! Pull me out!"

"With what?! I don't got any hands!"

"Use your bloomin' mouth!"

Bombbardos violently bit down on Pa-Patch's face.

"OW! That's my nose!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE A NOSE!!!!!"

"Just--AAH!!" yelled Pa-Patch as he was sucked under.

"Pa-Patch! NOOOO--!"

Bombbardos's scream was cut short when Petey whacked him on the back of the head, knocking him out.

"So…any of you guys like roasted bob-ombs?" asked Petey.

All the piranha plants smiled devilishly.

**To be continued…**


	9. Weed Hacker, part 2

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 2 of 3. Bowser's kids talk about maturity, Trowzer pays a visit to Steve's brother, Pa-Patch and Bombbardos try to escape the piranha plants, and the Mario Bros. chase Red and Black through the Koopa Village.

**Weed Hacker (part 2)**

Roy and his brothers were in one of the main fire-breathing testing room with Sharktail, talking about various random things about life, and how to kill Mario.

"So, how should we kill Mario?" asked Lemmy.

"Let's throw bowling--"

"NO, NO, NO! You are not gonna start throwing bowling balls at random people again Roy!" declared Larry.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll just throw footballs!!"

"What?"

"THINK FAST!!"

Roy threw a football that bashed Larry right in the head, leaving a giant bruise.

"What the (censored) Roy?!" yelled Larry.

"What? It's funny!"

"No it's not! It's painful and abusive! …What am I saying? Of course it's funny!" laughed Lemmy.

"Yeah, it's like farts and pee. You know it's gross, but yet we still laugh at it!" said Iggy.

Suddenly Wendy walked into the room, overhearing the conversation.

"Oh, my God! You guys are so disgusting! You're not mature at all!"

"SHUT UP! We're sittin' here talkin' about piss and (censored) and farts and hurting people and you just waltz your ass in here, saying the word mature, which we don't give a (censored) about!" said Roy.

"You guys are adults now and you still talk about this crap!"

"Because it's funny! It's been proven that females have a 30% better chance of not zoning out during conversations and are more mature than guys are. It's not our fault that men are entertained by immature fart jokes and swearing and the tiniest form of entertainment. It's not our fault that we are impressed by another man's odor or how loud they can burp or how long they can stare at the sun. GET OVER IT!!" said Ludwig.

"See, this is why you guys are so immature and not sophisticated." said Wendy.

"Shut up bitch."

"You know what, fine. You guys will NEVER become mature."

Everyone was offended by the comment, not knowing what to say to their sister. Some of them wanted to throw something at her to make her shut up.

"Hey, I got new high-heels!"

"What the (censored)! How do you go from talkin' about maturity to freakin' shoes!?" asked Junior.

"Does that matter?"

"SHUT UP!!" shouted Roy.

He threw a football at the heel of her shoe, causing it to snap. When she put her foot down, she tripped and began to fall down a very, very long series of stairs, grunting and screaming everytime she hit a step. All the koopalings fell backwards on the floor, laughing their asses off. Junior was laughing so hard that he started crying.

"Someone--HA HA!! Someone call--"

Before Ludwig could finish, he started to laugh hysterically again.

"SOMEONE CALL THE HOSPITAL!!" said Roy.

Even though it was painfully funny, Wendy was still their sister, and there was a very high chance that she was bleeding to death as they spoke.

"Okay--HA HA HA! Let's me use my cell--"

Before Larry could dial 911 for the hospital, he dropped his floor and began to laugh as hard as Junior was, tears streaming down his eyes. …Maybe Wendy had a point about maturity…

* * *

Trowzer was outside of Kasey's house, waiting for him to return from wherever he had gone to. He was gonna have to do something very drastic in order to change Steve's mind and get him to join his army.

"C'mon, where the hell is this guy?! I gotta do that 'thing' to him before Steve or Bowser finds out!"

Suddenly, Kasey was seen walking down the road, approaching his house. He looked like his brother did, only he was just a normal koopa wearing a green shell, like all other sorts of koopa troopas did.

"Uh…hi?" asked Kasey.

"Hey, you're Steve's brother right?" asked Trowzer.

"Yeah, the name's Kasey. Pleased to meet you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. How loyal is your brother to King Bowser?"

Kasey laughed.

"Seriously? Dude, you could torture the guy and he'd still be on Bowser's side. Unless he loses someone close to him--"

"Shut up and hold still."

Trowzer took a long bat out of his shell, the same bat that's used in Super Smash Bros. to whack someone clear off the board. He smiled devilishly at him.

"Um…why are you looking at me like that?"

Trowzer suddenly bashed the bat against his head, spreading blood all over the door of his house. Trowzer ultimately figured out that the only way to get Steve to join his army and strafe away from Bowser, was if he killed his brother. Bowser used to have a couple koopatrol units watching him, but he took them off because he realized that the koopatrols should be positioned somewhere else. In other words, Kasey was completely vulnerable. Trowzer began to repeatedly hit Kasey in the head with the bat, grunting with effort every time he did so.

So it was true…Trowzer was the evil one, not Bowser.

* * *

Pa-Patch and the rest of the pirates were stuck inside a locked cell in the Pirate's Grotto, with hundreds of guarding piranha plants patrolling on the outside. Many of the Toads were tied up and gagged, while others (like Bombbardos) were simply stuck inside the cell, having the ability to free-roam.

"I don't get it. Why haven't these guys devoured us yet?" asked the shopkeeper.

"Because they know they're not supposed to. That's why they dragged us underground into this prison chamber."

"In case you blokes forgot, we're bob-ombs! We can just blow up the wall or somefin' y'know." said Pa-Patch.

"But there's no crack in the wall!"

"So? Me an' Bombbardos can make a big hole in the wall, escape, and come here with more help."

"What if they see you?" asked the Toad who ran the inn.

"They're (censored) plants! How's a plant gonna see us?!" asked Bombbardos.

"How do they talk?"

"None of that matters now! Now let's go!"

Bombbardos and Pa-Patch began to creep out of the cell, looking left and right to make sure that none of the plants were looking in their direction. All they found was a red white-spotted putrid piranha, "sleeping" next to the cell.

"Oh, crap. Oi, is this guy sleepin' or not?" asked Bombbardos.

"I dunno. Stick your head in its mouth and see if he bites down." joked Pa-Patch.

"I'm not an idiot Pa-Patch! Besides y'know how much their breath reeks? It'd be like the time when that crate full a' fish was dumped on top of me!"

"Yeah, you smelled 'orrible for days."

Bombbardos and Pa-Patch continued to stare at the putrid piranha. It wasn't until drool starting seeping out the mouth that they realized that it was sleeping and continued to walk away. Bombbardos and Pa-Patch went down another patch, which was occupied with five pale piranhas fully awake and on alert.

"Damn, how are we gonna get past these weeds?" asked Pa-Patch.

"I think I know."

Bombbardos slowly walked up the ledge that was right next to the path full of piranha plants. A gigantic boulder was resting on the side of the ledge, leaning right into the path full of pale piranhas. Bombbardos lit himself and blew himself up right next to the boulder. It slowly leaned down right into the path, crushing all five pale piranhas. Bombbardos and Pa-Patch walked along the ledge, not caring that Petey could start flapping his arms and would've instantly seen them walking so high. Eventually, the duo walked right into a field of putrid piranhas patrolling all around the area. There were rocks and crates everywhere, a couple of sunken pirate ships resting in the water, and even Petey resting atop the biggest rock, looking left and right for escapees. They were trapped in a maze. One wrong move and they'd be thrown back into their cells.

"Let's tread carefully, mate." advised Pa-Patch.

Pa-Patch and Bombbardos walked down one path that wasn't filled with putrid piranhas, not knowing they left their footprints in the sand.

"Hey, suspicious footprints. I'm gonna go follow them!" said a putrid piranha.

"(Censored)!" squealed Bombbardos.

The putrid piranha followed Pa-Patch's and Bombbardos's footsteps, inevitably finding the two bob-ombs.

"Oh, look, bob-ombs! Identified as…PA-PATCH AND BOMBBARDOS!! MUST WARN THE BOSS! ALERT!!! ALERT!!!"

Suddenly, every putrid piranha appeared in front of the two bob-ombs, surrounding them on all sides, blocking their chance of escape. Even Petey decided to fly down to the two, ready to throw them back in prison.

"WHAT THE (censored)?!!? How's a weed wit no (censored) eyes see our footprints?!" yelled Bombbardos.

* * *

Petey threw Bombbardos and Pa-Patch back into the jail cell, locking it back up and covering the hole in the wall with goop.

"So how'd it go?" asked the shopkeeper.

"Shut up."

**Back in Koopa Village…**

"What's with the Koopa Bros. man?" asked Kooper.

"Yeah, I thought you guys were trapped in that jail cell after we kicked your asses." wondered Mario.

"We did not get our asses kicked! We just got beaten severely." said Black.

"Stop talking Black!"

"What about when Jr. Troopa kicked your asses in Bowser's castle? Or were you just 'beaten severely' then too???" laughed Kooper.

"…Y'know what, (censored) this." said Red.

Red took out his laser gun and shot Kooper in the leg. He screamed and started holding his shin, which was bleeding all over the place.

"What the hell guys?!" shouted Luigi.

"OW! WHAT THE (censored)!!" yelled Kooper.

"Yeah, we took that laser gun from Super Smash Bros."

"THANKS BITCH! I REALIZED THAT AFTER YOU SHOT ME IN THE GODDAMN KNEECAP!!!"

"Guys, this is seriously unfair! How are we gonna fight you when you got a gun?!" asked Geno.

"I don't know! Figure it out!"

Mario and the gang knew one weakness about the Koopa Bros., and it was that they were all very stupid. So stupid that they might get distracted if someone said there was a butterfly on their back.

"Hey Red!" said Mario.

"What?"

"Your fly's open."

"Son of a bitch--wait! I don't have a fly!!"

Mario bonked Red on the top of his head with his hammer and they began to fight over the gun. In the midst of the chaos, Black took the gun and started running and shooting at all the heroes.

"You guys go catch Black, I'll stay here and take of Red!" commanded Mario.

"Why?" asked Luigi.

"He might know where Bowser is! Don't let him get away!"

Geno and Luigi began to chase Black all throughout the Koopa Village. Black shot a chimney three times so that several of the bricks would fall off and hit Luigi and Geno in the head. The two of them simply ran around the falling bricks and hoped over a bush, continuing the chase for Black. Luigi fired three green fireballs at Black, only to see Black retract into his shell and dodge the oncoming fire.

"Give it up Black! We're gonna catch you eventually!" said Luigi.

"Never!"

Black pull the trigger on the laser gun when it clicked twice, indicating that it was out of bullets.

"Oh, (censored)."

"Gotcha now Black!"

Black jumped acrobatically on top of one of the roofs and began to run across them.

"…Wow. Even I can't jump that high." said Geno.

"I can! Just stay put; I'll get him." said Luigi.

He did one of his mega jumps and landed on top of one of the buildings. He started hopping from house to house, knocking off bricks of other chimneys and nearly tripping when he landed on each house. Black realized that he wasn't losing Luigi, so he jumped down to the road behind Kooper's house that lead to the forest where the Fuzzies stole his shell. Black quickly scurried up the tree like a squirrel, reaching the top of the tree brush.

"Damn, didn't know someone that stupid was that agile." said Luigi in amazement.

Luigi did another high jump and was standing on top of the field of trees. Black was nowhere to be seen though. It wasn't until this large black object started coming towards him that he knew that Black was zooming right towards him, hitting him in the head. Luigi and Black began fighting each other, jumping and zooming all over the trees, trying not to fall down any of the gaps that would lead them to the ground. Black zoomed his shell under Luigi four times in a row, tripping him so much that Luigi was left hanging from a branch.

"Gee, I wonder if you can break your neck if you fell from this height??" said Black.

"GENO WHIRL!"

"Whuh?" said Black stupidly.

He shouted when the orange fiery disk missed him by an inch.

"Damnit!" yelled Geno.

"HA HA HA!!! You missed--!"

Black screamed when he fell through the trees after stepping on a broken tree branch. Then he started to hit every single other tree branch as he continued to fall down, up until he hit the biggest tree branch near the roots of the tree. Unfortunately, he hit the branch in between his legs, causing massive pain to his genitals, and even cracking his pelvis a little bit. Black was almost crying and he could only stay there, gritting his teeth with an angry red face. Luigi smiled widely.

"Should we help him or--"

"No, no. Let's just let him bask in massive pain until he passes out."

**Later…**

Mario and the gang tied Red and Black inside a vacant house, waiting until they woke up so they could interrogate them.

"How long is it gonna take until they wake up? I wanna beat the crap outta Red and break his kneecaps!" said Kooper.

"They better wake up soon, or else Bowser may think of another plan to cause mayhem and we won't be able to stop him."

**To be continued…**


	10. Weed Hacker, part 3

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Conclusion. Mario and the gang devise a plan to rescue Pa-Patch and his pirates, Steve has a "talk" with Bowser, and Yellow and Green send out a search party for Red and Black.

**Weed Hacker (part 3)**

"Where was he killed Bowser?" demanded Steve.

"Steve, I don't think you need to--"

"WHERE?!?" yelled Steve, pounding his fist on a metal table.

"In front of his house."

Steve made this wheezy laughing-cry, glancing at Bowser like he was the biggest idiot on the planet.

"My brother…got his skull smashed in front of his own goddamn house!?"

"Just calm down Steve."

"SHUT UP!!!"

"What'd I do?! I don't see why you're so pissed off at me!"

"You were supposed to be watching him! You put those (censored) units around his house so nothing bad would happen to him! And you…took them off so they could watch a goddamn churro vendor."

"Hey! I like churros! Do you have any idea how many people vandalize and steal that vendor???"

"SHUT THE (censored) UP!!!!" screamed Steve, with tears forming in his eyes.

"…Steve we've known each other for over 12 years. If you're gonna waste this relationship over a tiny mishap--"

"Friendship means _nothing _when it comes to my family! NOTHING!!"

"I didn't kill your brother!!"

"That's not the point! You had six dark koopatrol guards--SIX--that were so damn bulky…that one day…I saw a fly land on one of them--it incinerated. If I got a diamond and scratched it across one of their faces, it would turn to volcanic ash! Just one of those guards could protect him from a boulder and you moved them all to protect a fried Mexican pastry!!!!!"

"…Have you ever tasted one???"

"Fine, fine. That's--that's fine. I'll just quit and join Trowzer's forces."

"Wait, what?!"

"Stop wasting your foul breath Bowser. Trowzer asked me earlier if I would consider joining his army; now I see why. You're too goddamn stupid to find your own nose without someone helping you."

"Stay away from my brother Steve."

"No! It's too late now!"

Steve began to stomp out the room, crying softly to himself.

"It's a (censored) churro vendor!"

Bowser took a churro and started crunching on it.

"Tastes good to me."

* * *

Kooper was violently chugging seven jugs full of lemonade.

"Do we really have to do this Kooper? It just seems…unorthodox." said Geno.

"He shot me in the goddamn kneecap! The fact I can still somehow walk is amazing. So, yeah…I'm gonna do this." responded Kooper.

Geno sighed. "If you say so. Wake 'em up."

Luigi carefully took the sea urchins out of the Koopa Bros. faces, making sure a large quill were still stuck in them.

"OW! What the hell was that?" asked Red.

"Hey, are you two okay? You took a really nasty fall over there Black." said Kooper.

"Don't show any sympathy for us! Let's just skip to the end of this charade and tell you that we don't know what Bowser's planning."

"Damn, that sucks." said Luigi.

"Why?"

Mario quickly pulled the quills out of their faces.

"Dude! What did you just do? My face is burning!" asked Black.

"Y'know, it's amazing that the sea urchins haven't killed you yet." said Mario.

"Sea--WHAT!!"

"Yeah, the only way to cure the poison is to NOT pull out the quills…which I just did."

"WHAT! HOLY (censored)!! We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die!!"

"Shut up Black! You're bluffing! There's another way to cure sea urchin poison!"

"Yeah…"

Everyone started chuckling and snickering to themselves.

"What the (censored) so funny?" asked Red.

Red glanced over towards Kooper, who had finished chugging the lemonade and threw it on the ground, cracking his neck.

"Payback, bitch! Now stand still so I won't miss."

"Won't…miss???" wondered Black.

Kooper limped over to Red and Black and stood over them on a table.

"Dude, what're doing?"

"I told you, payback bitches!"

Mario and Luigi were seconds away from laughing out loud. Kooper sighed heavily and started urinating on the Koopa Bros. The Mario Bros. fell on the floor laughing hysterically, while Geno just muttered,

"That's gross."

"AAAHHH!! YOU MOTHER (censored)!!! YOU MOTHER (censored)!!!! I AM GONNA (censored) KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL KOOPER TO STOP PISSIN' ON ME RIGHT NOW!!!" howled Red at the top of his lungs.

"It's weird; how do koopas use the bathroom while still wearing their shells?" asked Mario.

"Does that really matter now?"

"STOP IT!!!!" screamed Black.

"Tell us what you know and he'll stop!" demanded Geno.

"Goddamnit! Fine! Bowser sent Petey Piranha and his whole gang of piranha plants to Keelhaul Key so they could take it over and capture the pirates and lure you into a trap! Now tell him to stop peeing on us!!" said Red.

The Mario Bros. stopped laughing.

"Okay, okay, you can stop now." said Mario.

"Um…I can't." said Kooper.

"WHAT!" said Red.

"When you start, you can't stop until your done man."

* * *

Mario and his gang walked out of Kooper's house, their shoes soaked in urine.

"Who pees for five minutes?!" asked Geno.

"You try chugging eight gallons of lemonade without peeing that long!"

"I'm a doll."

"Enough with the pee guys! Let's get to Keelhaul Key before the pirates get into any more danger!" said Mario.

**Meanwhile…on Keelhaul Key…**

Mario, Luigi, Geno and Kooper were on board Cortez's pirate ghost ship, slowing sailing to Keelhaul Key, gazing at the island in the night sky.

"You sure you amigos don't need any backup?" asked Cortez.

"No, we got it. Just blast the cave when we give you the signal. It'll distract Petey long enough for us to release the pirates so we can take on all the piranha plants with full force." said Mario.

Mario and the gang waited until the ship docked at the port, then they jumped off the ship and walked on the sandy beaches, leaving footprints with every step they took. Mario made sure that he "borrowed" several Snowman dolls, shooting stars, fire flowers and mushrooms and syrups that he could carry. The group traveled to the hole in the wall and jumped through it, gaining entrance to the Pirate's Grotto. As soon as they got inside, they stopped themselves before they woke up the frost piranha staring them in the faces, its cold breath freezing their shoulders. The gang slowly walked around it and continued to travel down the cave.

"Whoa…that's a lotta piranha plants there." said Kooper.

Mario and the gang saw all the pirates tied up and gagged, along with Pa-Patch and Bombbardos hanging from the ceiling of the cage. A couple skeleton's lay next to the cage outside, only leading to Mario assuming that the piranha plants decided to eat some of the prisoners for a midnight snack.

"Get down!" said Geno.

Mario and his gang hid behind rocks as Petey and one of his putrid piranha lieutenants were walking by them.

"Hey, boss, there's this one question that's been bothering me." asked his lieutenant.

"What?" asked Petey.

"I know we're plants and all, but if we can eat stuff…how do we use the bathroom????"

Petey scratched his head.

"Wow, that's…that's actually a good question. I mean, I have a butt but…I don't think I've used it."

"Yeah, I ate something one night and when I fell asleep, there was some slimy green corpse lying next to me."

"Well, maybe we vomit what we eat while we sleep like a jellyfish?"

"Yeah, but my mouth wasn't all slimy, and the corpse was lying under me…"

"Um…maybe you…pooped…while sleeping…"

"…"

"…"

"…This is getting awkward."

"No (censored)! You just asked me if we poop or not!"

"What about sex?"

"I--What?!?"

"How do we have sex as plants?"

"We're plants! We reproduce asexually!"

"Don't you have a--"

"AAH! STOP! STOP TALKING! God, I'm gonna have the vision of piranha plants pooping in my head all day!"

"…How DO piranha plants use the bathroom?" asked Luigi.

"Shut up and signal Cortez." instructed Kooper.

Luigi blasted a green fireball on a candle and slowly rose it up in the air so it could be seen through a crack in the hole of the cave. Although Cortez only caught a tiny glimpse of green light in the distance, he still knew that Luigi was signaling him to fire the cannons. Cortez summoned a bunch of embers and they got inside the cannon, shooting themselves at the cave like fireballs.

"What the hell is that?" asked Petey.

"PETEY!! We got cannon fire coming in from the north! It looks like Cortez!" said a pale piranha.

"Why would that bag of bones attack his own cave? Let's go take care of him!" said Petey.

"…So we agree that piranha plants do use the bath--?"

"I don't know, I don't kn--I don't care Zorblax! I really do not care!"

**Later…**

"That was weird. As soon as we get outside, Cortez stops shooting those ghosts of his at the cave and went away." said a frost piranha.

"Maybe he was--"

Petey stopped talking when he approached a whole group of pirates, angry and ready to rip his head off. Mario and the gang released them all while the plants were outside. It was only until after he saw that the prisoners were out of their cell that Cortez was only a distraction.

"Aw, (censored)." said Petey.

"Got get 'em boys!" said Pa-Patch.

The horde of pirates began to rush Petey's plants.

"ATTACK!!!" screamed Petey.

All the pirates and bob-ombs and piranha plants began to rush each other, all screaming like a full clan of warriors ready to kill each other. Then they all slammed into each other, furious punching, kicking, jumping and exploding in each other's faces. Even Kooper was getting involved, despite the limp in his leg.

Mario and Pa-Patch were the ones racking up the most bodies, blowing up and whacking over 20 piranha plants in only a couple of minutes. It was clear that both of them were gunning for Petey, who was dousing several of the pirates in goop and swatting them away like flies. Right when the two of them got near Petey and were about to attack, Zorblax appeared and breathed his poison breath in their faces, burning their eyes and poisoning their health.

"I can't see! I can't see a bloomin' thing!" yelled Pa-Patch.

"Give us a Tasty Tonic!" yelled Mario.

A pirate tossed the two the tropical beverage and they guzzled it down, healing themselves.

"That's better."

Just as they were going to attack again, Zorblax appeared and poisoned them again.

"Will you cut that out!!?" shouted Mario.

Zorblax bit Mario in the chest, taking away a good portion of his health.

"OW! Get off me!" said Mario.

Mario took out his hammer and started banging Zorblax on the head repeatedly. Zorblax began to let go and Mario bashed him in the mouth, knocking out a few of his teeth, sending him soaring into a cavern wall and knocking him out.

"You're next Petey!" said Mario, pointing in Petey's direction.

As soon as Mario looked in Petey's direction, he realized that he was flying to another section of the cave, running away from the fierce battle.

"GENO WHIRL!!"

Petey yelped and ducked to avoid the flaming flying disk.

"Goddamnit, why can't I ever hit someone on the first try?!" complained Geno.

"Oi! You two go an' confront Petey! We'll take care of these weeds!!" said Bombbardos.

Mario and Pa-Patch ran across the cavern, chasing Petey into the other section of the cave.

* * *

The plumber and bob-omb arrived inside the darkest section of the cave they could be caught in, barely able to see anything at all. However, they noticed that the farther they walked, the harder it was to lift their feet up and take another step. It was as if they were stuck in something sticky…

"Oi, Mario! You feel like you just stepped in somethin' a little…"

"Muddy?" responded Mario.

Suddenly, a set of flames were lit and the cave was completely visible again…but the duo wasn't pleased with what they saw. Bob-ulks. Many, many bob-ulks were formed into a circle right around them, ready to explode.

"Holy (censored)!" yelled Pa-Patch.

"Damnit, what do we do now? What the hell do we do now?!" asked Mario.

"I DUNNO! I'm just a bob-omb mate! How the 'ell could I possibly--?"

A light bulb appeared over Pa-Patch's head, and he knew exactly what he could do to save themselves. Pa-Patch lit his fuse and waited until he exploded, blowing up all the bob-ulks in the process. Sure, Mario took a huge amount of damage and was covered in smoke and ash, but it was better than getting blown into several pieces.

"What the (censored)!! You weren't supposed to do that!" shouted Petey, who was watching from a higher altitude.

Mario and Pa-Patch slowly stepped out of the goop and Mario shouted,

"Come down here and fight us like a man…weed…whatever it is you are!"

"Okay."

Petey flew down to Pa-Patch and Mario and threw two more bob-ulks, then opened his huge mouth, ready to spit goop on the two. A light bulb popped over Mario's head, indicating he got an idea too.

"Hey, where do those light bulbs come from?" asked Pa-Patch.

Mario grabbed the light bulb and examined it, trying to figure out how it got above his head.

"…I don't know."

Mario picked up a bob-ulk and threw it into Petey's mouth, causing him to inadvertently swallow it. Normally, he'd just squirt water in his mouth, but FLUDD wasn't assisting him so he had to improvise. Pa-Patch quickly blew up the other bob-ulk, even though Mario took more damage.

"You're…cheating!" groaned Petey.

Petey got another bob-ulk out of his pocket and threw it at the duo, but Mario simply chucked Pa-Patch at it and it flinged right back into Petey's mouth like a baseball. Petey swallowed that too and his stomach grew twice as big.

"Wow, Petey, you really need to lose some weight!" laughed Mario.

Petey growled gutturally and took out several Mezzo bombs, ready to chuck 'em all at the duo.

"Uh-oh." said Mario meekly.

Petey yelled and started throwing many Mezzo bombs left and right, blowing up the cave and sending rocks flying left and right. Pa-Patch and Mario were running left and right like crazy, making sure they made not contact with any of the bombs for it would surely mean death. Petey growled again and took out a King Bomb, a bob-omb that was about the size of his head.

"If I go down, YOU'RE GOING DOWN WITH ME!!!" screamed Petey.

Mario quickly lit Pa-Patch and threw him across the cave, blowing him up and causing Petey to falter; he had been hit in the leg. Petey was hopping on one leg now, trying to keep his balance, when he suddenly fell on his back and the King Bomb shot up into the air. But what goes up…is _going _to come down.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Petey.

The King Bomb fell right into Petey's mouth, but it was so big that he couldn't even swallow it. Petey just lay on his back, choking and spitting out the sides of his mouth, trying to regurgitate the humongous bob-omb. The fuse was only a few seconds away from coming into contact with the triggering mechanism.

"Um…we should run now."

* * *

Mario and the pirates were yelling and quickly scurrying out of the cave, just seconds before it exploded in a gigantic fireball, slowly collapsing the inside. If the King Bomb somehow didn't blow Petey to smithereens, the cave collapsing surely would've crushed his body. The piranha plants had been defeated and the pirates had been saved. What was even better was that Bowser's plan was ruined and he was short one general. All the pirates began cheering and celebrating, happy to know all the weeds were gone.

"MARIO!" yelled Twink.

Twink slowly fluttered down to the group, panting and breathing heavily as though he had just run a 300 mile marathon.

"WHOO! I…was going…to say…that a bunch of piranha plants--"

"Yeeeeaah, kinda late Twink." said Luigi.

Twink glanced across the island, looking at the cheering pirates and deceased piranha plants.

"Damnit."

**Back in the Koopa Village…**

Green and Yellow decided to head a team of red dark koopatrols to Koopa Village in order to find their two brothers. Green instructed his koopatrols to enter through the back door while Green and Yellow would enter the front. Green was about to open the door, but Yellow stopped him and said,

"Wait a minute, the door's probably locked. Let's go in through the window." advised Yellow.

Yellow began to hide in his shell, to shield himself from the glass that might get in his face. Then he hit the window hard and broke it, amazingly not cutting his hand at all. Yellow jumped through the window. …Well, not really, he leg got caught on the wall and he tripped through the window, landing on his face. When Yellow looked up again, he realized that his brother simply walked in through the door.

"I hate it when you do that."

Green and Yellow walked into the kitchen, quickly covering their noses and groaning and coughing like dark koopatrols. They found Red and Black still tied up in the kitchen, reeking of koopa urine.

"Dude, why do you guys smell like pee man?!" asked Yellow.

"It's a long…disgusting story…"


	11. Gassy Sand Fields

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Lemmy's attempt to prank his uncle backfires, Red and Black decide to switch sides, Mario and the gang decide to travel to Dry Dry Outpost for information, and Trowzer gains several more allies, and puts his next phase into place.

**Gassy Sand Fields**

Bowser, Sharktail and Lemmy were all inside one of Bowser's trapping chambers, fixing it so if Mario somehow got past all of Bowser's minions, he'd fall down a long tunnel and land inside a spike pit. Sharktail was picking up several fake tiles with his mouth while Bowser and Lemmy were setting them in place.

"Hey Dad, you ever hear about what happened to Steve's brother?" asked Lemmy.

"Yes, we know, he got his head bashed in because I moved those guards to guard my churro vendor." said Bowser.

"Seriously Dad, I threw a golf ball at one of them and it exploded when it hit their skin. Why would you take them off Kasey's house?!"

"Yeah, it sounds pretty stupid Bowser." said Sharktail with his mouth full.

"Shut up! Why is nobody on my side and on Trowzer's?"

"Cause he's smarter than you."

"Oh, yeah? If he's so smart, how come he still wets his shell if you tickle his feet?"

"…What?"

"Yeah, that's right. Every time when we were growing up I'd prank him by tapping his foot a little and it'd get him so excited that he'd just pee all over himself."

Lemmy got an idea. Even though he was his uncle, he's pranked everybody in his family at least once…even his father. He could always prank his uncle too.

"What's your brother doing now???"

"It's 2:30 in the morning so he's probably--"

But before Bowser could finish, Lemmy had already ran out the chamber, presumably going to Trowzer's bedroom.

"Aren't you gonna warn him?" asked Sharktail.

"Warn him about what?"

"I did that same prank with my cousins. You're not supposed to tickle his toes; you tickle his heel and the palm of his foot."

"Why?"

Sharktail laughed. "Let's just say Lemmy won't like the smell…"

Bowser scratched his head.

"I don't get it, what does that mean?"

* * *

Lemmy slowly entered Trowzer's room, snickering to himself. He was about to make a fully grown koopa wet his shell while sleeping. It'd be so embarrassing and humiliating when everyone else found out. But to Lemmy, he'd just sit back and laugh at the situation. Who knows, it might even inadvertently convince some of Trowzer's troops to join Bowser's league again.

Lemmy crept next to Trowzer's bed, gazing at the behemoth sleeping on his stomach, snoring like crazy. His mouth was open and a big trail of slobber was seeping out of his mouth, ready to hit the floor. Lemmy got close to Trowzer's feet, looking at his shell that was gradually rising and falling. He laughed again while smiling deviously and tapped his toes, watching them twitch and Trowzer jolt a little bit. Lemmy tapped his toes twice and Trowzer snarled and grunted, twitching again. Then Lemmy started tickling the crap out of his toes, watching Trowzer twitch like crazy.

But for some reason, he was growling menacingly and snarling like a disturbed monster instead of laughing. Since Lemmy didn't know, he just kept tickling harder. Trowzer suddenly lifted his tail and blasted a stinky wet fart in his face, which sounded completely gross and lasting five seconds long.

"Oh my G--"

Lemmy retched and held his nose, trying not to vomit under the rotten odor. Eventually, his eyes began to water and Lemmy was forced to retreat out of his bedroom, vomiting in the bathroom sink.

* * *

"How does tickling your toes while sleeping make you fart?" asked Bowser.

"Cause all reptiles don't like to be disturbed while sleeping and don't like getting touched in the toes. If growling gutturally and snarling doesn't work, we just let out a gigantic fart that'll make you throw up. I guess some nerve sense on our toes trigger us to do that. Skunks do the same thing; they stomp fiercely and do a handstand, and if that doesn't work, they spray whoever disturbs them with nasty skunk oil."

"Huh…that sounds…effective." said Bowser, smiling.

"If Gloomtail were still alive, he'd tell you how many times I did that to him, and how many times I wound up throwing up."

"Oh, snap! What if Lemmy--"

"Lemmy's not that stupid…right???"

"Um…_"_

**Meanwhile…**

Red and Black were on board a helicopter, flying their way back to Bowser's castle. All the other koopatrol units kept their distance so they wouldn't have to inhale the smell of urine and sewage waste. Red and Black were talking to each other about possibly switching to Trowzer's campaign as did their younger brothers.

"This is such bull (censored)!!" yelled Black.

"Why is it that Bowser's always sends his lackeys like us to do the crappiest kinds of jobs in the world? Seriously, would Mario even find the castle where we kidnapped the Toads?" said Red.

"I don't understand why you guys put up with Bowser's (censored). Just switch sides and join his brother's crew, like we did." said Green.

"Is it better than Bowser's?" asked Red.

"Well, we get a helluva a lot more coin payment and we get to wear these kickass blue shells on our backs."

"Yeah! I even got this tattoo of this green lightning bolt on my face! See?" said Yellow, showing his tattoo.

"So…we can either stay with Bowser, probably get burned by his fire breath, get assigned to another retarded mission…or wear kickass blue shells, get tattoos, and a bigger coin payment."

"Pretty much, yeah." said Green.

"Yep; we're joining Trowzer's crew." said Black.

"No (censored)! Anything's better than coming home reeking of sewer water and getting used toilet paper up my butt."

Red gasped over what he just said, causing some of the other koopatrol units and his brothers to laugh.

"How did toilet paper--?"

"Shut up Green!"

* * *

"I don't get it, what do you mean you were stuck in traffic?" asked Mario.

"Get this: I'm flying as fast as I can to deliver some vital information from Princess Peach--" Twink started.

"You talked to Peach?! How is she? Is she okay or what?"

"Usual bullcrap. Anyway, some asshole was blocking the Star Road with this gigantic free boulder sales shop--"

"What idiot builds a freakin' store to sell boulders?!!?" said Luigi.

"Exactly! Thank you!!"

"This is riveting and all, but do you have any information about Bowser's other plans?" asked Geno.

Twink sighed.

"No. I just know about this piranha plant scheme, that's all."

"Well then, what're we gonna do? We certainly can't sit and wait for Twink to tell us something again." Luigi pointed out.

Mario sighed and thought long and hard for what their next plan would be. Luigi was right; they couldn't sit down and wait for Twink to tell them something since he doesn't know anything. They also couldn't rely on random music again. It was very unlikely that another boss would magically come through a pipe and try to fight them. Suddenly Mario snapped his fingers and said,

"GOT IT! Dry Dry Outpost!"

"No way dude. Unless Kolorado is there, I'm not going back to that desert town. Nothing's even in Dry Dry Outpost but a shop and some mystic fortune teller!" said Kooper.

"Remember Moustafa? That mouse with ancestral roots to Dry Dry Ruins??? If he posed as an information trader, who knows what he must've learned throughout the years?" said Mario.

"Oh, yeeeaahh! I remember that guy!" said Kooper.

"Woo-hoo. We get to go to a desert town. Yay." said Luigi flatly.

"Can you at least sound semi-enthusiastic we're going on another adventure or do you wanna be stuck being Mario's house bitch again?" asked Geno.

"YAY!! We're going on an adventure!!!" said Luigi, forcefully.

**Later that day…**

Luigi, Mario, Geno, and Kooper were walking along Mt. Rugged, traversing along the bridge that overshadowed Buzzar the bird's nest.

"Hey, is that a giant falcon lying in a nest watching us? asked Kooper.

Mario groaned.

"Damn, it's that Buzzar guy again."

"…I thought he was a she…"

"Just cause you're sitting on eggs doesn't make you a female. It just means you're caring for your babies Geno."

"Is Buzzar even married?"

"I don't know, go ask him!"

"_Her._"

"Whatever, damn!"

The Mario gand walked across the bridge and waited until Buzzar said,

"HEY, YOU!! STOP RIGHT THERE!!"

Buzzar flapped his wings all the way to the bridge and sifted through his feathers, taking out a wanted poster with a picture of Mario on it.

"Yes, you look very familiar. Bowser's put a mighty big bounty on you head. Over 20,000 coins for whoever catches Mario and brings him to his castle. You _are _Mario, right?"

"Nope, you just missed him. I'm Wario." said Mario.

"Yeah, and I'm Waluigi." said Luigi.

"Damn. Well…okay then, I guess you can pass. Just make sure you guys keep an eye out for Mario. He's already killed Gloomtail and the Master Hand Bros."

"Yeah. See ya."

The Mario group began to walk away.

"HEY, BUZZAR!" shouted Kooper.

"What?"

"Are you a guy or a girl????"

Buzzar paused for a moment and didn't know what to say.

"I…don't…know…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…You don't know if you're a goddamn man…or a chick…" said Kooper.

"Don't you have a--" started Luigi.

"I um…I don't know if I have one…of those."

"Do you pee standing or sitting down?" asked Geno.

"Umm…"

"SHUT UP!!! Oh my God, just shut the (censored) up!! It's a (censored) bird! Who gives a (censored) if it has a (censored) or not?!? Can we please stop talking about awkward (censored) and go find Moustafa?!! GOD!!!" said Mario.

Everyone stared at Mario, surprised that he actually managed to swear that much at just one time.

"Okay, fine! Jeez, not my fault no one can see the bird's di--"

"SHUT UP!!!!!"

**Back in Trowzer's chamber…**

Trowzer was inside his own chamber not far from Bowser's castle, which was made with blue bricks on the outside, and rough green tiles on the inside. Over the past several hours, Trowzer had gained many more lieutenants for his own league composed of shady koopas, dark koopatrols, Steve, dark koopas, the Koopa Bros. and a variety of different colored dragons. All of them had a green lightning symbol tattooed or placed on their body somewhere to show that they have strafed away from Bowser's league. Right now, they were currently greeting each other and making casual conversations.

"Hey, Steve! When'd you join Trowzer's league of bad guys?" asked Black.

"I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say…Bowser betrayed me."

"Oh."

Steve growled angrily at Black when he saw him eating a churro made by Bowser's minions.

"Is that a churro?"

"Yeah, want one?"

Steve took out a knife and stabbed Black in the hand, pinning it to the table. Black screamed so loudly that the churro fell out of his mouth and onto the floor. Steve stomped on the churro repeatedly, swearing at Bowser's name at the same time.

"(Censored) churros." he muttered.

Yellow sniffed the air twice and muttered,

"Ugh! What's that smell...? Oh." said Yellow, realizing he was standing next to a yellow dragon's feet.

The dragon growled under his throat and lowered his head, snorting right at Yellow and staring him in the eyes. Yellow laughed nervously.

"Heh, heh…nice dragon. Are those a new set of wings?"

"Back away." snarled the dragon.

"Backing, backing, backing, back." said Yellow, slowly walking backwards.

"Okay, guys. Listen up!" said Trowzer.

Everyone continued talking with each other though, despite what Trowzer said.

"SHUT THE (censored) UP!!!" screamed Trowzer.

Everyone got quiet.

"Now…the reason why you are all here must because you either hate Bowser or believe his ideas to destroy Mario are insufficient. This is why I'm here." said Trowzer.

"I don't get it. What is this, some kinda cult?"

"No, it's not Red. It's a better opportunity for you to make money and spend the rest of your life in paradise. See…I already got the Mario thing covered. But after he's dead, you guys can rule whatever country you like. You can have what you want in the blink of an eye, no questions asked. Bowser, on the other hand, just wants to kill Mario and end it right then and there."

"Where's the fun in that?!" asked a dragon.

"Exactly my point. Once Mario is dead, you guys can help me take over more land for us to rule and with that much power…we can do whatever we want to."

"…That's it?" asked Green.

"That's it."

"Yay! I can finally by that Ferrari I was supposed to get last Christmas!" shouted Yellow.

"You help me take over more land and I'll make sure your whole bedroom is filled with Ferraris." said Trowzer.

**After the Meeting…**

Trowzer was in the bathroom taking a personal phone call with one of his assassin shady koopas.

"Are you sure you want this done Trowzer?" asked the assassin.

"You make sure Mario's body is buried in the sand and his remains are lost forever."

"What about his friends? Should I kill them too?"

"I thought you were a professional hitkoopa?!"

"That's just it Trowzer, whoever heard of a hitkoopa in a Mario game??"

"This isn't a game Mallick. You kill Mario's friends and bury their bodies in that desert and you'll get your money, all right?"

Mallick sighed. "Fine."

The hitkoopa hung up his cellphone and hid on top of a dried out tree in Dry Dry Desert, waiting for Mario and his gang to show up. Trowzer had just placed a hit out on Mario.

There was no turning back anymore…he was going to die at the hands of Mallick.


	12. Pale Files

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Mario and the gang are ambushed by Mallick, while both Bowser and Trowzer gain another ally. Elsewhere, Yellow stumbles upon a deadly secret.

**Pale Files**

"What the hell?!!?" yelled Bowser.

"You're Leadershipness! I've just been informed that Petey Piranha and his piranha plants have just been defeated!" said Kammy Koopa.

"HOW?! How do you lose to a plumber when you have a colossal armada of carnivorous plants at your side?!"

"I dunno, go ask Petey."

"He's dead Kammy!!"

"…Right."

"ARGGHH!!! This is not going--that's fine, that's fine. This is why I invented the word 'contingency'. Now I can launch my…"

Bowser started lifting his fingers and counting them in his head, trying to remember how many plans he made in order to destroy Mario.

"My fifth plan!"

"Bowser, you're holding up three fingers." Kammy pointed out.

"My fifth plan!" said Bowser, holding up five fingers.

"What amazing plan is this gonna be?"

"I do not need your negativity bitch! Get out!"

"But your Nastiness!"

"Get your ass out!!"

Kammy dejectedly walked out of Bowser's room.

"Okay, okay, I'll just talk really loudly to myself so everyone can hear. First…I'm gonna…I'm gonna--(censored)! I got no ideas!!"

Bowser started hopping up and down in one place, thinking of some sort of plan to defeat Mario.

"I can-I can--BOOM!! GOT IT! I know exactly what to do! IGGY!!!" screamed Bowser.

Iggy quickly rushed into Bowser's room.

"Whatcha want pops?"

"You still got that castle in Dinosaur Land, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, this is perfect. Gather all your koopas in that area of Dinosaur Land and start building a fortress you use to store weapons. Call it Iggy's Weapon Armada."

"…That's creative."

"Shut your mouth! That's just Part A. Part B is that your lure Mario through a series of bob-omb ambushes and bullet bill barrages until he gets inside your castle. If he doesn't die in there, take one of your highly ranked lieutenants and stick him in the boss door. That's Part B. Part C is that you launch a flying battleship to fly over Rogueport and build a laser inside the ship so that it can blow the (censored) out of Rogueport!"

Bowser threw down the marker he was using to draw out his plans all over the walls, panting heavily.

"So…did you get that?"

Iggy scratched his head.

"Um…I lost you after you said my name Dad."

"Goddamnit! Okay, let's go over this one more time--"

"Hey, Bowser! Can I join your league?" asked a mysterious voice.

Bowser and Iggy turned around to see Doopliss standing right next to them.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Iggy.

"That Doopliss guy who turned people into pigs? Remember? I'm sick of my stage acting career and decided to be bad again…so can I join your league Bowser?"

"Whatever. I need another lieutenant anyway. Go get a spray can and spray that sheet over you black."

"YAY! I get to be bad again!"

"Shut up Freak-in-the-sheet!" said Iggy.

"My name's Doopliss."

"NO ONE CARES!!"

* * *

Zorblax groggily entered Trowzer's domain with many burns on his…skin…and leaves. He survived the attack in the Pirate's Grotto, but had been badly injured and suddenly realized that it was somehow Bowser's fault.

"Hey, what's your name?" asked Trowzer.

"Uh…Zorblax."

"Cool. You wanna join my squad so we can acquire more land and stuff?"

"Sure, that sounds good!"

"Great. Spray yourself blue and get a green lightning symbol on your body somewhere."

"…That's it?"

"Well, that and don't prove your loyalties to Bowser."

"I already hate the guy for putting me in that hellhole!"

"Then welcome to Trowzer's Bad…Evil…League…Thing…"

"You haven't thought about the name much have you?"

"No, I have not."

* * *

"How come I have to stay here while everyone else gets to go on an adventure?!!" whined Yellow.

"Because Trowzer wants you to clean his castle and empty the septic tanks." said Red.

"But I wanna cause chaos!!! And I thought he told you to do that Red!"

"Yeah…"

Both of the koopas awkwardly stared at each other for a very long time, until Red suddenly said,

"See ya!"

Red quickly ran outside of the castle, leaving Yellow alone with the yellow dragon he encountered earlier that day. The two of them simply sat next to each other, not knowing what to do.

"So…what do you want to do today?" asked Yellow.

The dragon glanced at Yellow and growled under his throat.

"Yeeaah, I don't feel like playing the growling game. …How do you feel about draining septic tanks?"

"Why would I waste my time dumping out a month's worth of koopa and dragon (censored)?"

"Hey, just trying to make a conversation."

"All you need to know is that my name's Dracolin and I'm missing a third of my colon."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Dracolin turned around and started snickering.

"Hey, stand next to my tail."

"Um…why?"

Dracolin snickered again. "You'll see."

Yellow stood next to his tail, not really knowing what Dracolin was about to do…even though it seemed obvious. Dracolin lifted his tail so his butt was positioned right in front of Yellow's face, where he managed to pass gas extremely loudly. Dracolin started laughing hysterically while Yellow was wafting away the smell and holding his nose.

"UGH!! What is it with you dragons and your goddamn toilet humor?!"

* * *

Yellow was resting inside of Trowzer's main dining chamber, flicking several peas through the open window and watching them roll down a long set of stairs. He was bored to tears…but he'd rather throw peas through a window than clean Trowzer's room.

"God, this is so boring! I wish I had a slingshot!" groaned Yellow.

Yellow looked under the table and saw this gigantic rubber band that was big enough to fling a car several miles away from the castle. Yellow smiled widely and got a brilliant idea.

* * *

"Okay, let's do this!" said Yellow.

Yellow was slowly walking backwards against the rubber band which was nailed to the walls. Yellow had made a life size slingshot and he was about to fling himself through Trowzer's window, unaware that it could lead him to the pit full of lava. Yellow let go and he was soaring through the air.

"YEAH!!!" he yelled.

A grey thwomp appeared out of nowhere (presumably from the ceiling) and pounded Yellow right in the shell, sending him right towards a long set of stairs.

"OH, (censored)!!!"

Yellow hit the stairs and started grunting and groaning and swearing as he hit every step, rolling down every single one of them. When Yellow had rolled down over 200 stairs, he finally stopped and stood up.

"What the hell? Why is the floor above me?!!"

Yellow looked up…or looked down and realized that he was hanging in mid-air…upside-down. He was about to fall down a large series of stairs again.

"(Censored), no!!!"

Yellow began to grunt and groan again as he fell down many more stairs, bruising and cracking his shell a little bit. When he finally got to the bottom, he had retracted inside his shell and was upside-down.

"Hey, can someone help me? I'm stuck on my shell! …Guys? Hello? Can somebody just…roll me over a little? GUYS!!!!"

* * *

Yellow was inside Trowzer's room, searching through all his stuff again.

"Why doesn't this guy have anything important in his room that I can use to embarrass other people?!"

Yellow kicked a soccer ball in frustration and it ricocheted off the wall and hit him in the nose.

"OW! Son of a bitch!"

A secret door suddenly opened and it revealed a whole series of cabinets filled with many sorts of papers and pictures…and meats.

"Cool! I found a trap door!"

Yellow walked to the cabinets and gazed at them, wondering if he should look through the files. He whistled casually and whacked his tail against a cabinet handle, causing it to open.

"Oh no! My tail has accidentally opened the cabinet door!" said Yellow sarcastically.

He then turned around and kicked a cabinet really hard so that a large set of files would fall right into his hands.

"Oh no! I accidentally hit the cabinet and made these files fall into my hands!"

Yellow opened up the files and started sifting through them.

"Oh no! My hands--(censored) it. Let me just look though the files."

Yellow was a little shocked at what he saw. There were photos of Kasey, Steve, Sharktail, the Koopa Bros. and several other inside. There were even records and brief history summaries of each person inside. It kinda freaked out Yellow, especially when he saw his own picture. What was Trowzer trying to do? Bowser didn't have his own little stash of files hidden from his minions.

"???"

Yellow noticed that a bold, red X was crossed over Kasey's picture. And he had a number one above in the upper corner of the photo.

"This is starting to freak me out."

"What the hell are you doing?" asked a deep voice.

Yellow shrieked and dropped the files, turning around and gazing at Trowzer. His veiny red eyes seemed to pierce through his soul.

"Trowzer! I-I was--"

"Why are you going through my files Yellow?"

Yellow gulped and looked left and right, not knowing what to do or say.

"Uh…I was…dusting your files!"

"With what? Your tail?"

"Yes! Exactly! And now that they're all un-dusted, I'll just walk away now."

Yellow quickly ran out the room while Trowzer growled deeply in his throat.

**Back in Dry Dry Desert…**

Mario and the gang were exhausted and sweating like pigs as they gradually walked on the path to Dry Dry Outpost.

"How…much…further?" asked Kooper.

"Just…just a little…further…oh, god this is impossible." said Luigi.

"As long…as long as we don't encounter any surprises…we should be…fine."

A bullet whizzed by Mario's ear.

"What the (censored)?! Who uses a gun in a Mario game?!" asked Luigi.

"Gee, maybe the shady koopa hiding surreptitiously in that tree?" said Geno.

Mallick fired five more bullets at the Mario gang, hitting Kooper in the leg again.

"(Censored), you just shot me in the leg!!! Someone give me an ultra shroom!"

"Here, take this!" said Mario, throwing Kooper an ultra shroom.

Just as Kooper was going to swallow it, Mallick shot the shroom to shreds.

"You son of a bitch! That was mine!"

Mallick jumped off the tree and was about to shoot Mario and Luigi, but the gun he had was empty. It clicked twice and Mallick swore and threw the gun to the ground.

"Don't follow me!" yelled Mallick.

Mallick abruptly began to run away from the group, heading into Dry Dry Outpost.

"C'mon! Let's go get him!" said Mario.

"HELLO!! Dying koopa lying in a scorching desert!" said Kooper.

"…We'll come back." muttered Geno.

"HEY!!!!"

Mario, Luigi, and Geno began to run after the assassin across the hot desert, kicking up the sand with their shoes and avoiding all the cactuses and pokeys they ran into. Mallick scurried through the oasis near the entrance of Dry Dry Outpost and jumped up into a lime tree.

"What's the point in that?" asked Luigi.

The group waited a few seconds and heard a slice and squish not far from where Mallick was. He suddenly appeared on top of the lime tree, holding a bunch of limes he cut in half with his military knife. Mallick started chucking them all at Mario and his gang. Two of them hit Luigi right in the face.

"AAH!! GOD, MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!" yelled Luigi.

He quickly yanked the limes off his face and fell to the sand, rolling around and groaning a lot. Mallick started to run towards the Outpost.

"He's getting away!" said Geno.

Geno and Mario followed Mallick into Dry Dry Outpost, where Mallick was stopped by the greeting purple Normadimouse.

"Welcome to Dry Dry--"

"Shut up!"

The Normadimouse gagged when Mallick grabbed him by the throat and put his knife around his neck, holding him hostage. Mario and Geno entered Dry Dry Outpost, encountering the hostage situation.

"You guys come any closer, he dies!" warned Mallick.

"You do realize I can shoot fireballs from my hands right?" asked Mario.

Mallick laughed.

"How's that gonna help--"

Mario fired a red fireball at the shady koopa's hand, burning it and causing him to release the Normadimouse.

"(Censored)." said Mallick.

Mallick started running throughout Dry Dry Outpost, leading the duo around in circles and knocking over several objects to block their paths. It wasn't until they passed the red tree seven times in a row that they realized that Mallick was leading them in circles.

"WAIT! What if we just stand here and trip him?" advised Geno.

"No, that's not funny enough. Let's clothesline him!"

"Okay."

Geno and Mario hid behind a stack of crates wile holding a clothesline that was hidden in the sand. When Mallick got close enough, they yanked it up and hit Mallick in the neck, causing him to gag and fall on his back.

"HAH! Gotcha now ya (censored)!" said Geno.

"I don't think so." said Mallick.

Mallick retracted into his shell and glowed gray, spinning violently. He was about to charge right towards the duo.

"Hold up! Koopas can't attack on their ba--"

Mallick zoomed past the two of them twice, knocking Geno unconscious and taking away a huge chuck of health. Mallick, once again, began to flee Mario.

"Will you please just stay still so I can knock you out?!" asked Mario.

"Nope."

Mallick ran into what used to be Moustafa's hideout, jumping up onto the rooftops. Mario tried to chase him by jumping over to the other building rooftops, but he tripped over a vase and didn't get enough running speed. He was about to lose Mallick and thus, lose his chance to stop Bowser's next plan.

"HA HA!! Follow me now, bitch!" said Mallick.

Mallick took two steps forward, and then he looked down and realized he was standing in mid-air. He yelped and fell down on top of a stack of boxes, inevitably losing consciousness.

* * *

Mario and the gang tied the unconscious Mallick to a pole inside of the Dry Dry Outpost store, waiting for him to wake up.

"So should I pee on him too?" asked Kooper.

"NO!!" yelled everyone else.

"Let's just…wait until he wakes up."

"…That could take a while."


	13. Dousing the Flames with Bombs

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Geno's method of interrogation for Mallick goes horribly awry, and Iggy begin to build his armory while accepting ideas from Junior.

**Dousing the Flames with Bombs**

Iggy was commanding several of his koopa troopas to construct his own specialized armory while putting traps and weapons inside it. Junior was also there to try and help him with forming the original layout of the fortress.

"Damnit Shivy, that support beam goes there!" said Iggy.

"What, right here?"

"NO! Not next to the--"

Shivy put the beam next to a pile of stone bricks, tipping them over and shattering a couple of floorboards.

"Oops."

Iggy groaned with frustration. "Under the yellow stone block ceiling!"

"You didn't say that before!"

"Cause only a complete jackass like you wouldn't already know that!"

Junior started chuckling to himself.

"What's so funny?"

"This fortress building isn't exactly your line of work is it?" asked Junior.

"I know what I'm doing."

Iggy shook violently when an ear-piercing shattering was heard.

"Damnit, I said don't put the Thwomp there! DON'T PUT THE THWOMP THERE!!!"

"We can talk you know." said a Thwomp.

"Shut up Thwomp."

"We have names you know!"

"SHUT THE (censored) UP!!!"

"See, this is why I haven't customized my castle yet." said Junior.

"This isn't even my castle! This is just the fortress! I gotta work on my castle later today!" said Iggy.

Iggy sighed and started rubbing his head. "What should I do?"

"Paint the stone material blue." said Junior.

"That's already done."

"Add a trap or torture chamber. Like make a pipe that leads directly to a pool full of lava and in the background it says, 'DIE!' in big bold letters."

Iggy laughed. "That would suck if that happened when I went through a pipe like that."

"Right. Also, why don't you make a door that leads to a grinder chamber?"

"I already got that. Come look and see!"

* * *

Junior and Iggy were inside a dark chamber full of railed grinders that was spinning and clicking along the continuous loop. Some of them nearly cut their shells in half.

"WHOA!! This is really--AAH!!--cool!!" said Junior.

"Yeah, you just need to worry about the--(censored)!!--various black and blue grinders that could decapitate us."

"I see you've put those falling thick spikes in the ceiling too. This room is badass man! I don't see how it's possible for Mario to get through this chamber without getting his--"

Junior screamed when a grinder cut off part of his tail.

"We should leave now." said Iggy.

* * *

"Okay boss, you're saying this thwimp should go right…here?" asked Shivy.

"Yes…put it down gently." said Iggy.

"We talk asshole!" yelled the thwimp.

"You're a friggin' stone that hops back and forth!

Iggy and Junior sighed heavily and sat down.

"What else should we add? If I use all my equipment here, I'll never have enough stuff to use for my castle."

"All we really need is a pit full of lava and--HEY! What about the boss?" said Junior, snapping his fingers.

"I already have a boss for my armory. His name's Rowzfur."

"Who?"

* * *

Iggy and Junior were standing next to a bulky red rat that was snorting at the koopas heavily.

"Dude, this rat is badass! What does it do?"

"I throw red rocks and spit out fire from my mouth. And if you get too close, my tail might wrap around your neck." growled Rowzfur.

"Easy Rowzfur. So…what do you think Junior?"

"I think it's great just as long as Rowzfur takes his tail off my shell."

"…Yeah. I think he's trying to kill you…"

"No he's not! He likes--"

Junior started choking and gagging as Rowzfur started to use his tail as a garrote, strangling him.

"Let him go Rowzfur!"

**Back in Dry Dry Outpost…**

Mario, Geno, Luigi, and Kooper were "aggressively" interrogating the hitkoopa Mallick. So far, they were making very little progress.

"C'mon Mallick! Tell us who you work for! Is it Bowser??" asked Geno.

Mallick spat blood in Geno's face and laughed. "There's nothing for me to say. I don't work for either of them."

"??? When did I say the word 'them'?" asked Geno.

"(Censored)." muttered Mallick.

So there's another person with ties to Bowser, eh?" asked Kooper.

"No, no! I was just saying that so you wouldn't find out about Bowser's older brother Trowzer."

Everyone smiled when Mallick accidentally spilled the information about Trowzer, inevitably giving him up.

"Oh, goddamnit!"

"Since when did Bowser have an older brother?" asked Mario.

"I dunno. There's probably some long lost fairytale explaining why no one has bothered to mention Trowzer until now."

"So what, did Trowzer hire you to knock us off or something?" asked Luigi.

"Umm…I can't tell you."

"Well can you tell us what else Trowzer had planned in store for us?"

"This is bull(censored). He's not gonna tell us anything."

Geno started thinking hard about what to do with Mallick. There were so many different times of interrogation procedures he knew about that could make Mallick crack…but some of them might be too dangerous.

"Go back to the shop in Dry Dry Outpost and buy a Volt Shroom. I got a perfect idea for making Mallick talk."

**Plan A**

Geno hooked a couple of jumper cables to a Volt Shroom and touched them together, watching Mallick squirm as he saw the two of them create a small bolt of lightning.

"How many times do you ever see someone torture a shady koopa in Mario games????" asked Kooper.

"NO ONE CARES!! Just shut up and let me do this!" yelled Geno.

"What-what the (censored) is that?" asked Mallick.

"You're gonna tell us what Trowzer and/or Bowser is planning next or we're gonna shock you till you pee your shell. Now tell us! Where is Bowser?"

"I seriously don't know what you're talking--"

Just when Geno was about to shock Mallick, he kicked Geno in the arms so he'd shock Luigi right in the neck. Luigi screamed and hopped up into the air.

"What the hell?!"

"Sorry! Sorry. Let's try that again."

Mallick kicked the cables and they latched onto Kooper's shells, shocking him violently.

"AAAHHHH! TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF!!"

Geno struggled to yank off the cables, only to have them latch onto Mario's chest and shock him violently too.

"This is not working Geno!!" yelled Mario.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Geno crushed the Volt Shroom and took the cables from Mario's chest. He sighed with relief and turned toward Mallick.

"Time for Plan B."

**Plan B**

Luigi, Geno, Kooper, and Mario were stuffing various types of foods into Mallick's mouth, forcing him to swallow it.

"Yeah, that's reeeaaal smart. Torture me by making me eat--"

Mallick gagged when Mario shoved a whole serving's worth of Koopasta into Mallick's mouth.

"Now how is this supposed to work again Geno?" asked Mario.

"If anyone should eat too much food at one time, not only will they induce vomiting, but they might get gastritis and end up rupturing their bowels. In other words, if we keep stuffing food into his mouth, it'll screw up his stomach lining and he'll die...very...slowly."

"Cool."

Kooper finished giving him food by stuffing a fruit parfait into his mouth. The group waited a while for Mallick's stomach to stop growling and noticed that his cheeks were filling up with something.

"Guys, you think we should back away from his mouth before he--"

Mallick burped so loudly in their faces that one of the windows in the house cracked a little.

"HAH!! You thought you could mess up my stomach lining did ya?"

"I don't get it! Your stomach should have exploded by now!"

Mallick scoffed. "I've been in eating contests since I was two…and I've always won. Now my stomach can hold a capacity of 37 gallons, even though I'm skinny."

Luigi and Mario groaned in frustration.

"Time for Plan C." said Geno.

**Plan C**

Geno was tying a horde of bob-ombs around the chair that Mallick was tied to, rigging the wiring to Mallick and the all parts of the chair.

"What're you doing now Geno?" asked Mario.

"Don't any of you guys watch The Shield anymore?"

"Not since the series ended a couple of weeks ago. Now all they show is re-runs…" said Kooper.

"Right, well in this one part of that show, the protagonists tied some arms dealer to a chair rigged with C-4. If the dealer moved too much or freaked out, he'd set off the bombs and blow himself up. It's kinda like reverse-psychology; in order to get free, don't do anything."

"That's very creative!" said Mario.

"Hey, how'd that situation end??" asked Luigi.

"I don't know, that dealer probably got arrested for arms dealing."

Geno, Mario, Luigi, and Kooper stared at the shady koopa who was tied to the bob-omb chair, watching him pant softly and look around the place.

"C'mon guys, is this really necessary?" asked Mallick.

"We're just gonna sit here until you get tired or until you freak out and tell us everything you know. We got all the time in the world…but you don't." said Geno.

**An hour later…**

"Hey guys? GUYS!!"

"What?" yelled Kooper.

"…My nose itches. Could you scratch it?"

Kooper snapped at Mallick and bite him in the nose.

"OW!! You bit me!"

"Payback's a bitch, ain't it?!"

**Five hours later…**

The group was watching Mallick twitch and squirm like crazy as he continued to sit tied up to the chair.

"Please…can you let me go??"

"He said please so…NO!" said Kooper.

Everyone around him laughed in his face and continued to mock him.

"What happens when those bombs go off Geno?" asked Mario.

Mallick twitch and felt crick in his head.

"Find a happy place…" he muttered.

"Most of them are near his feet so I'm pretty sure he'll be disemboweled and his testes and colon will blast across the room…"

Mallick started panting and squinted his right eye.

"Find a happy place…" he muttered again.

"After that, the rest of the bombs will blow his whole upper body apart and toss his organs all over the building. But hey…at least it'll be quick." said Geno, smiling devilishly.

Mallick was shuddering and twitching every second, perspiring like crazy.

"Find a happy place, find a happy place, FIND A HAPPY PLACE!!" squealed Mallick.

"Hey, what if the bombs near his feet are the only ones that explode? Will he die knowing half of his organs are gone?" asked Kooper.

Mallick shouted at the top of his lungs and started panting like crazy, ready to have a heart attack.

"LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF!!!"

"Mallick if you just calm down and stop moving--!"

Mallick's face turned red and he started straining to the point where the gang could see the veins in Mallick's neck. Mallick's arms were bleeding and Geno realized he was lifting up the chair arm, ignoring all the pain. Kooper laughed.

"You're not that stupid. You know if you pull off that chair arm…"

Mallick broke apart the chair arm, ripping a wire and setting off the fuse off a bob-omb. It hissed loudly and it began its countdown, ready to blow.

"(Censored), everyone get out!!!"

While Mallick sat on the chair screaming wildly, Mario and the gang rushed out of the building, with Kooper holding the door shut. Two seconds later, the building exploded and knocked everyone outside on their backs, injuring them when a few splinters shot into their arms. Kooper had sustained the biggest injury, lying on his cracked shell underneath the door. It's a miracle he didn't die.

"Kooper! Kooper, are you alright?" asked Mario, lifting the door off his body.

"Could you please roll me over so I can stand on my feet?" moaned Kooper.

Mario lightly rolled Kooper over with his foot, enabling him to stand up on his feet. Geno and Luigi recovered from their wounds too and gazed at the wreckage. Mallick wasn't even in the wreckage; his guts must've incinerated almost instantly. He basically was turned into ash in a half-second. But hey…at least he felt no pain.

"Holy (censored)!! Is that guy dead?" asked Luigi.

Everyone looked stupidly at Luigi.

"What? What'd I say?"


	14. Sneak 'n' Bite, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 1 of 2. Mario and his friends learn a great deal of information from Moustafa regarding a legendary Chain Chomp, Yellow's life may be put at risk, and Iggy spends some time with his family before his departure.

**Sneak 'n' Bite (part 1)**

Iggy and some of his brothers were inside Ludwig's room singing karaoke to the song Cosmic Castaway by Electrasy. Some of his brother's simply waited for Iggy to finish, listening to his voice. It was amazing that it sounded almost identical to the band, even though it was only just him singing.

"But I'm not broken, in my dreams I win. And I'll take over, cause I'm no loser.

And I'm in and you're not! Bad dreams don't stop. Cause I'm all screwed up, a Cosmic Castaway, yeah-ah! A Cosmic Castaway, yeah-ah! A Cosmic Castaway!"

"BOO! YOU STINK!!"

"Shut the (censored) up Roy! Don't be mad cause you can't sing the song!" yelled Iggy.

"Yeah, shut up Roy! Don't be mad just because you can't sing!" Junior added.

Roy responded by throwing a large black football in his face, knocking him out and tossing him on the back of his shell.

"What's your problem?" asked Ludwig.

"How come Iggy gets his brand, spankin' new castle before I do? It's not fair man!" said Roy.

"Hey, Dad just called me into his room and told me about the plan. It's not my fault he didn't say your name first." said Iggy.

"You still suck at singing Cosmic Castaway."

"Y'know what fine! You get your bulky ass up here and make a friggin' musical!"

"Okay, I will!"

Roy sat down on one of the piano stools and started playing the beginning notes to the song Clocks. Everyone went wide-eyed because they had no idea that Roy was capable of playing every single note perfectly.

"Holy (censored) dude. You play that better than I do!" said Ludwig.

"Yeah, I know. Shove that up your ass and smoke it!"

"Roy, I did not come here so I could wrestle and bitch with you guys! I came here so I could treasure the moment before I go. What happens if I die on my journey? This could be the last time you guys hear me sing Cosmic Castaway like that again!"

"Iggy, you're not gonna die. You 'died' the last time you faced Mario and you came back just fine."

"I was kicked into a pool of lava! I didn't come back fine at all!"

Roy sighed. "Sorry dude. I guess I'm just letting my envious attitude get in the way of things. I just really wanted to get an armory for myself!" whined Roy.

"Don't worry about it. When Mario's defeated, you can have my armory as you're little football field."

"What if Mario destroys the armory?" asked Ludwig.

"That's not gonna happen."

"What if Mario destroys the armory?"

"That's not gonna happen."

"What if Mario--"

Iggy punched Ludwig in the stomach, knocking the breath out of him.

"Shut up while I go sing X&Y by Coldplay."

* * *

"Hey Yellow! When are we going to assault the Mushroom Kingdom Financial Security Counsel?" asked Black.

"Whoa, wait a second. What?" asked Yellow.

"Yeah bro! Weren't you at Trowzer's briefing earlier today?"

"Err…"

Black sighed. "Trowzer hired us to plant a (censored)load of bob-ombs inside the Financial Security Counsel in order to cut off the money flow to Toad Town."

"Why?"

"Why should you care?! We get to blow (censored) up man! It's gonna be so cool!"

"So uh…when does Trowzer wants us to blow this bank up? In a couple of hours?"

"Nah, probably not till later tonight. We still got time to go around and mess with the dragons y'know, put liquefied laxatives in their watering hole."

Yellow laughed out loud at the idea that Black suggested. Seeing a bunch of dragons poop all over the castle did seem kinda funny, but he suddenly gasped and said,

"Noooo. No, no, no."

"Why not?"

"I thought real clearly about it; they're dragons. Dragons don't wear pants. Dragons don't wear underwear. They (censored) wherever they feel like taking a (censored). All they do is walk around and find a good spot to use the bathroom and the next thing you know, you got several pounds of dragon (censored) stinkin' up the castle! And what if one of them takes a dump on me?!!?"

"I'm gonna laugh my ass off! That's what's gonna happen!"

"But Black! That Dracolin dragon's already pissed off at me! What if he's the first one to do it?"

"I repeat: I'm gonna laugh my ass off!"

"…You seriously don't care if your own brother has to walk around covered in dragon (censored)?"

"What part of 'I'm gonna laugh my ass off' don't you understand?!"

**Later…**

Yellow was standing in the comms area of Trowzer's castle, eating a couple of Kooky Kookies. After he had finished his cookies, Yellow glanced towards the entrance of the castle to notice a couple of gray shelled koopas were slowly creeping their ways inside. On the back of one of their shells was KPA, or Koopa Police Association. Yellow gasped and started to run in the opposite direction, trying not to get caught by the police brigade. After Yellow had sprinted his way to Trowzer's main chambers, he stopped and hid next to a painting of a pale shady koopa. Yellow was panting hard and scared out of his wits, not wanting to go to a jail cell like the Toads he and his brothers entrapped.

"Hey, I never noticed this painting before." said Yellow, looking at the life-like koopa.

Only…the koopa was life-like. It slowly moved its eyes onto Yellow and started breathing down his neck before Yellow even noticed. Yellow turned back around and yelped shortly before the koopa grabbed Yellow by the throat and slammed his body into the wall.

"Where's the files?!" yelled the koopa.

Yellow could tell by the koopa's thick accent that it was Kirzvolitken.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about--!"

Kirzvolitken squeezed even harder, almost popping Yellow's eyes out of his head.

"Oh! Those files!" squealed Yellow in a hoarse voice.

"Da. Trowzer informed me of you sneaking through secret files. Big Boss doesn't like it when koopas go through his personal belongings."

"I'm sorry! I was just curious!"

"Curiosity put down the dogs."

"…What?!"

"Just tell me where the files are!"

"Why? I just wanna know why Trowzer's stealing his brother's ideas!"

"Stealing his--!"

The Eastern European koopa stopped himself before he revealed anymore of Trowzer's plan. Yellow had no idea what he just gotten himself into…and he didn't need to know.

"Riiiiiight…stealing his ideas. Okay…I think I know of a way to make this all disappear. What happens in the next ten minutes??"

"I…go take a nap?"

"Everyone takes a break and goes eats lunch!"

"Oh."

"Now…when everyone is eating lunch you should put the files…?"

"…Up the butt of my shell?"

"YOU--!"

Kirzvolitken stopped for a minute and started to get angry at Yellow's stupidity.

"It's simple you dunderhead! When the big hand points up, and the little hand points up," started Kirzvolitken, stretching Yellow's arms so they pointed up.

"Everyone will be at lunch, including Trowzer. That means his secret door will be open. But…when the big hand points down…"

"OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!!!" yelled Yellow when Kirzvolitken twisted his right arm downward, almost dislocating it.

"The door will lock. You have until then to get the files back, da?"

"…What does 'da' mean?"

"JUST SAY YES GODDAMNIT!"

"YES! I get it! I'll-I'll put the files back."

"Good. No hard feelings da?"

"Da." whimpered Yellow.

**Back in Dry Dry Outpost…**

Mario and his team were looking at the wreckage of the house, realizing they just blew up their last lead on Bowser's whereabouts.

"Okay…that did not go well." said Kooper.

"Ah, forget him. We can still go talk to Moustafa for information." said Mario.

* * *

Mario and the gang entered Moustafa's house that was resting on top of a secret building next to the Dry Dry Outpost Toad Inn. Like always, Moustafa greeted him kindly by asking him if he needed anything.

"Welcome Mario! It's been a while since I've seen you! Do you need any help from me of some sort?"

"Actually, we need a lotta help." said Mario.

"Sure, why not? You are the nicest of nice guys after all."

"What can you tell us about Bowser's Evil League of Bad Guys?" asked Geno.

Moustafa growled. "I hate them! My fellow Nomadimice have been trying to find any sort of weak point or valuable source deep inside the league. So far, we've only found one thing that might be a valuable secret to taking down one of the lieutenants."

"What is it?"

"Rumors have been spreading of this legendary chain chomp that holds a secret item regarding the lieutenant's whereabouts. Many of the Nomadimice have tried to subdue this creature, but so far, none of them have come back. I am unsure of this information myself, but it must be important if Bowser made the creature swallow it."

"Ew! Like Gloomtail?" said Luigi.

"This is why I don't believe this rumor, but I am curious as to why the Nomadimice haven't returned. There are also rumors of another secret hidden in the chain chomp's chamber, but I am unsure of that too."

"Do you know anything else about this chain chomp?" asked Mario.

"Despite its size, the chain chomp likes to sleep a lot, so it wouldn't be hard to sneak up behind him and look inside the chamber for something."

"That's a start, I guess. Although there is one more question I want to know."

"What?"

"How do we hide from the chain chomp if it decides to wake up?"

"Easy! Just hide inside a barrel!"

Everyone looked puzzled at the green Nomadimouse, wondering if he was making a dry, yet humorous joke.

"Guys, I'm serious! See, just watch."

Moustafa started grunting as he jumped inside a small barrel that fit his side.

"See, wear it like this and if the chain chomp wakes up…"

Moustafa suddenly shifted his body into the barrel so that no part of his body was showing. For a second or two, Luigi actually thought no one was inside the barrel. A couple of seconds later, Moustafa popped his head back up and revealed himself.

"There you go. Simple right?"

"Wait, so we gotta walk around with barrels strapped to our torsos???" asked Kooper.

"Basically."

"So does anyone else think this is a bad idea??" asked Luigi.

"Nope." said Mario.

"Nope." said Kooper.

"No." said Geno.

Luigi groaned.

"I can always a couple of Nomadimice with you if you're scared." advised Moustafa.

"I'M NOT SCARED!!!"

"Suuuuuure you're not."

* * *

Mario, Luigi, Kooper, Geno, and three other Nomadimice were inside the tomb with the gigantic chain chomp. The tomb was dusty and covered in granite with a couple of large gray blocks resting in various places. A couple of scorpions were crawling on the floor and a spider web or two were in the corners of the ceiling. All in all, it looked like any other tomb would.

The chain chomp was resting in the corner of the room, snoring loudly with a small bubble rising and falling from its nose. It was almost ten times bigger than normal chain chomps and looked menacing, but now it's rendered harmless in its sleeping state. Near the chain chomp were several buttons that resembled pressure pads. Should any one of them step on it, something would happen. The only problem was that no one knew what that something was.

"Dude, we look so ridiculous in these barrels!" said Kooper.

"Why do you even need a barrel? You could just hide in your shell!" said a Nomadimouse.

"Chain chomps can smell koopas several miles away. Even if I hid in my shell, it'd just swallow me whole and kill me. That's why I nearly drowned myself in rum before we left."

"To secrete your koopa stink?" asked Geno.

"Koopa _smell _Geno. We don't stink."

"You did just drown yourself in a barrel full of rum…"

Kooper sighed exasperatedly.

"Let's just go before this beast wakes up." said a Nomadimouse.

Everyone began to slowly walk across the tomb while they were inside their barrels. They did look completely ridiculous, but it was the only thing they could use as a hiding instrument.

"So far, so good. We're nearly halfway there!" whispered a Nomadimouse.

Suddenly, the bubble seeping out of the chain chomp's nose popped.

"(Censored)!" yelled Kooper.

Kooper, Mario, Luigi, a Nomadimouse, and Geno ducked into their barrels. However, the other two Nomadimice didn't duck quickly enough and got stuck.

"What the hell? Why can't I hide in the barrel? WHY CAN'T I HIDE…"

The Nomadimouse stopped shouting when he found out that the chain chomp was staring directly at him, not blinking at all.

"Oh, (censored)."

The chain chomp grabbed the Nomadimouse with its mouth and dragged his body to a green pipe. Then it released the mouse right above the pipe, sending him down a bottomless pit. The other Nomadimouse suffered the same fate. What was weird about the whole thing is that it wasn't vicious like normal chain chomps. Usually, it'd tear away at its prey until nothing was left…but Mario and the other guessed it was too tired to eat. Immediately after dumping the Nomadimice, it fell dead asleep again.

"Okay, we need to get--" started the Nomadimouse.

The bubble popped. Everyone quickly hid in their barrels and waited until the chain chomp fell asleep again.

"We need to--"

The bubble popped. Everyone quickly hid in their barrels and waited until the chain chomp fell asleep again.

"We gotta--"

The bubble popped. Everyone quickly hid in their barrels and waited until the chain chomp fell asleep again.

"LET ME FINISH--"

The bubble popped. Everyone quickly hid in their barrels and waited until the chain chomp fell asleep again.

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP WAKING THE (censored) UP SO I CAN SAY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY?!!!?" screamed the Nomadimouse.

The bubble popped. Everyone quickly hid in their barrels and waited until the chain chomp fell asleep again. …Everyone except for the Nomadimouse.

"(Censored)." he muttered.

The chain chomp grabbed the Nomadimouse and dumped him into the bottomless pipe. The remaining survivors decided to continue walking forward slowly, hiding in the barrel whenever the chain chomp startled itself awake. Kooper got to one of the pressure pads and stepped on it. When he did, a tiny yellow key fell into his shell.

"Hey, cool! I got a key!" yelled Kooper.

The bubble popped again. This time, NOBODY managed to hide in their barrels in time.

"Uh-oh."

"You idiot!" yelled Geno.

Kooper threw a very thick concrete block into the chain chomp's mouth so it wouldn't be able to grab him. Then everyone stripped off their barrels and quickly ran outside before the chain chomp entrapped them in its jaws. Right when it was about to get Mario, the chain chomp whined when the chain restrained its neck and made it impossible for it to get them. It was stuck in the entranceway of the tomb, forced to look at its prey that was inches away from it.

"DAMNIT!!" yelled the chain chomp.

"Hey, what's the matter?" asked Mario, trying to show some concern for it.

"YOU GUYS GET AWAY FROM ME _EVERY _TIME! I DON'T KNOW WHY BOWSER PUT THIS GODDAMN CHAIN ON MY BODY!!!"

"Yeah, well, Bowser's an idiot." said Luigi.

"NO (CENSORED)!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING SO MUCH?!!!?"

"I DON'T KNOW! THAT'S JUST THE WAY THE WORDS SHOW UP!!!"

"Dude, if you wanna get free so badly, just ignite yourself." suggested Kooper.

"WHAT???"

"Yeah, in Super Mario Sunshine, this giant chain chomp about your size would just hop in the air three times and he'd be on fire--"

"KOOPER!!!" yelled everyone else.

The chain chomp smiled and jolted his body into the air three times in a row. However, on the third jump, he roared loudly and somehow managed to ignite himself on fire. The chain that was stuck in the ground broke off and the massive chain chomp was free. It still had the chain attached, but now it was able to move around freely. The chain chomp looked at the four creatures and licked its lips, laughing menacingly afterwards.

"Thanks Kooper. I've always wanted to die getting devoured by a fiery ball-and-chain with teeth." sneered Mario.

**To be continued…**


	15. Sneak 'n' Bite, part 2

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Conclusion. The Koopa Bros. get ready for their bank job while Yellow is kidnapped by the KPA. Iggy says goodbye to his family before he departs and Mario and the gang face off with the chain chomp.

**Sneak 'n' Bite (part 2)**

The Koopa Bros. were inside of Trowzer's weapons chamber, gathering tons of items that could be used to battle against any koopa guards for the Financial Security Counsel building. Of course, they also grabbed a colossal amount of bob-ombs and King Bombs. They were going to need them in order to blow up the bank without any folly.

"Hey, Red, how many Thunder Rages do we need?" asked Black.

"They only got about 30 guards inside. It's not like someone hired Kent C. Koopa as their bouncer."

"Whatever happened to that dork with the glasses anyway?" asked Green.

"I don't know; I think he works at the Burger Shack now."

Everyone laughed out loud.

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about him bullying us for lunch money." said Green.

"We should go put these bob-ombs in the burgers and get him thrown in jail." said Red.

"How the hell would that solve anything?" asked Green.

"Because we could sue him for sexual harassment and…(censored), that was something else."

Black and Green awkwardly stared at Red.

"Um…forget I said anything."

"…Where the hell's Yellow?!" asked Black.

* * *

Yellow started panting heavily as the brown bag was ripped from his head, enabling him to see the area he was in. A couple of hours ago, after Yellow returned the files to Trowzer's room, he decided to take a walk on the street. Just as he bought a snow cone, two koopas wearing dark grey shells snatched him away and tied a bag over his head so he couldn't see. Now that Yellow could see, he realized where he was: Inside a KPA van. Three burly looking koopas with gray shells and shoes were staring down at Yellow, looking like they were ready to eat him. The van itself looked pretty high-tech with all the computers and keyboards built inside of it. Yellow even recognized a small radar that had an infrared heat tracking system. It was probably how they found Yellow so easily.

"What-What the hell's going on?" asked Yellow.

"Are you aware of a very large drug possession charge a couple of years ago?" asked one of them.

The leader of the koopas sounded like he was the head of some secret organization. He also had some odd accent.

"Mm…no."

"Couple of years ago, you and your brothers was found holding a large supply of marijuana, laughing like crazy. When you were taken to trial, all of the charges against you were 'dropped' and none of your brothers were arrested. The only problem is that those charges weren't expunged, so we can easily drag your brothers back to court and throw you in jail for the next 20 years."

"We didn't do anything but got high!"

"That's the point!"

"…Oh. So what are we supposed to do?! How come you guys waited all these years to inform me about this?" asked Yellow.

"Because you never had any contact with Trowzer before. This bank you and your brothers are about to rob has numerous accounts that trace back to Trowzer…and could mean very bad news if people like us found out about it. That's why Trowzer wants you to blow the whole place sky high."

"So what do I do?"

"It's simple: Sabotage the explosives so when your brothers set them off, they don't explode. After that, we'll go inside and dig up the accounts about Trowzer."

Yellow gulped. The last thing he needed to do was get on Trowzer's bad side again. But if he did this task that the KPA agent asked of him, maybe Trowzer would be out of his life forever.

"What if I say no?"

"You go to jail for 20 years for being under the influence of marijuana and possible attempts to distribute."

"Okay! Okay! I'll do it."

"Good. Any more questions?"

"Yeah! Where the (censored) is my snow cone?!" demanded Yellow.

The KPA van screeched to a halt and one of the agents threw Yellow out of the speeding van, not caring that he rolled on the ground and slammed into a tree. Yellow groggily stood up and gazed at the speeding KPA van.

"HEY! I had a snow cone!!" yelled Yellow.

One of the agents tossed a red and blue snow cone in Yellow's face, splattering it in his eyes.

"Thanks dude."

* * *

Yellow walked back into Trowzer's weapons chamber, reuniting with his energized brothers. They were just a couple of minutes away from blowing up a building.

"Where were you Yellow?!" asked Black.

"I was…eating a snow cone."

"It takes you over a half-hour to eat ice with juice flavoring on top of it?" asked Green.

Yellow scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously.

"Something wrong Yellow? You look a little…nervous…" said Black.

Yellow laughed out loud. "Nervous?! HA! I'm not ner--"

Yellow vomited all over the ground in front of his brothers, causing them to step back and shout incoherently.

"What the (censored) Yellow?!" asked Red.

"Guys…can't I just stay here?" he asked.

"We're about to blow up a building Yellow! Hellooo! Mindless destruction!" said Black.

"I just want to stay here okay? You guys…you guys rob the bank without me."

"Fine. You can stay here IF…you do a little dare." said Red.

"Okay."

"Sniff inside Black's shoe for 10 seconds."

Yellow squealed and all of his brothers laughed wildly. Black hadn't washed his socks in the past four years and he was starting to get Athlete's Foot. For some reason, Black always thought his socks were lucky the minute he put them on so he never took them off…even when he took baths.

"I'd rather wear Bowser's underwear over my head!"

"Okay. Go get them."

Yellow shuddered. "I was bluffing. There's no way in hell I'm getting a whiff of Bowser's underwear!"

Yellow walked over to Black's feet and yanked off his left shoe, groaning when he got a nasty whiff of his rancid foot odor. Yellow quickly jammed his nose into the shoe and retched loudly, passing out after three seconds.

"So are we still taking him with us? Technically, his nose is still in the shoe." said Green.

"So?"

* * *

Yellow groggily woke up feeling a cold breeze inside of his shell. He was surprised that his nose was still inside of Black's reeking shoe, but for some reason, his body had been relocated.

"Yellow? You still feel like blowing up that bank?" asked Red.

"No."

"Too bad! We're already here!"

Yellow gasped as he looked over a pile of dead bushes. He must've passed out after sniffing Black's shoe and his brother's dragged his unconscious body to the bank. Or maybe they knocked him out after he smelled his shoe for 10 seconds and lifted his body that way… Either way, Yellow was gonna have to go through the KPA's plan, which he really didn't want to do.

**Later…**

Iggy was standing next to his gigantic hovering brown battleship he used in Super Mario Bros. 3. However, he decided to modify the battleship to his likings and added several more traps and deadly devices here and there, like a whole bundle of Bombshell Bill Blasters and cannons that shoot out giant Bob-ulks. He and his brothers and sisters, and his father, were standing right behind the propellers of the ship. They were rotating so fast and were so huge that their hair was almost blown off their heads.

"GOODBYE GUYS!!" yelled Iggy.

"WHAT?!!" asked Roy.

"I SAID GOODBYE!!"

"DON'T FORGET TO TURN ON THE BOMBSHELL BILL BLASTERS!" warned Bowser.

"OKAY!!"

"AND REMEMBER TO KICK MARIO'S ASS!!!" yelled Larry.

"TRUST ME! I WON'T FORGET!! AND SINCE YOU GUYS CAN BARELY HEAR ME, ROY…I USED YOUR TOOTHBRUSH TO CLEAN OUT OUR BATHROOM TOILET!!"

"WHAT??!!!" yelled Roy.

"AW, FORGET IT!! I'LL TELL YOU LATER!!"

"LATER!?!?! YOU COULD BE DEAD BY THEN!!!"

"WHAAAAT!!?!"

Roy sighed.

Iggy jumped onto a gargantuan metal anchor hanging off the battleship and latched himself onto it, waiting as it slowly rose into the air. Iggy waved a final goodbye before the battleship raised its anchor and began to float away into the starry sky, disappearing like it was never there to begin with.

**Back at the Chain Chomp temple…**

Mario, Kooper, Luigi, and Geno were still staring at the monstrous flaming chain chomp ready to tear their bodies apart. There was nothing friendly about the chain chomp at all: razor sharp teeth with fiery bits of slobber hanging off of them, a thick chain that could wrap around their necks, a tongue rough enough to tear away metal…but mostly it was the fact that the creature was on fire. It wasn't even seven in the morning but the whole area was so radiant that it might as well be daytime. Geno was amazed how a giant spherical creature could brighten the place up just by catching on fire, but he didn't care about that at the moment. The gang needed to find a way to defeat it so they would find the clue to Bowser's next lieutenant.

"Okay…we gotta find a way--"

Before Mario could finish, Kooper let out a battle cry and dashed his way to the fiery ball-and-chain, ready to attack.

"Kooper, no!!" protested Geno.

Kooper shouted and grabbed his foot as he tried to fan out the fire. Kooper used all of his strength to attack the creature, but his shoe ended up catching on fire.

"OH, DAMNIT!! These are my new shoes!!" yelled Kooper.

Kooper ran towards a water fountain that was resting in the middle of the temple area and jumped inside, cooling off his foot.

"Okay, that's better."

Kooper yelped and jumped out the way when the chain chomp hopped into the air and came crashing down with his gaping mouth opened wide. Unfortunately for the chain chomp, it landed right into the giant water fountain, rendering itself useless. The chain chomp whined like a dog and began to slowly limp away.

"Wait a second…I got an idea!" said Mario.

Mario grabbed the chain chomp's chain and slowly began to walk backwards, as though his chain was a rope in a tug-of-war match. He grunted with each step he took and heard the chain rattle and pop like crazy, as though the whole thing was about to explode. It wasn't until Mario noticed that the chain chomp was yelping and whining like crazy that he released the elastic chain. The chain chomp zoomed across the plains and collided head first into a dusty temple made of stone. The chain chomp yelped again when it hit the temple, which crushed the temple into nothing but blocks of stone, making thunderous exploding noises as they hit the ground.

"See? Not too hard right?" asked Mario.

The chain chomp hopped away from all the rubble and roared loudly at the Mario Bros., once again igniting himself on fire. He was charging his way to the four heroes once again, ready to devour them.

"What do we do, what do we do?!" asked Luigi.

"I don't know! I don't have my FLUDD system with me! I can spray it with water!" said Mario.

"GUYS!! The water fountain!" Geno pointed out.

Geno gasped with awe when he glanced at the water fountain. The chain chomp slammed onto it so fiercely that the whole fountain broke apart and there was no more water shooting out of it. There was nothing they could do to douse the chain chomp and cool him off.

"Everybody, duck!" yelled Kooper.

All of them yelled and threw their bodies into a dried out ditch, covering their heads with their hands. The chain chomp darted right across their bodies without harming them at all.

"ARF! ARF! ARF!! ARF!! ARF!!" barked the chain chomp.

"He's coming back!!" yelled Luigi.

Luigi's suggestion was completely off; the chain chomp spat several little fireballs onto the ground, waiting for them to start following the four heroes. The chain chomp simply lay back and laughed gutturally, waiting for the flames to fry his food.

"Oh my God! Pyrospheres!!" yelled Mario.

"Don't you mean fireballs?" asked Geno.

"No, fireballs are blue."

"Aren't these embers?" asked Kooper.

"Guys, the chain chomp's coming back!" Luigi interrupted.

Mario and the gang rolled out the way as the pyrospheres and the chain chomp zoomed directly at them, almost burning them alive.

"Split up! We need to find another water source to douse these pyrospheres and that chain chomp!" said Mario.

And so, the heroes split up in separate directions: Kooper and Geno ran in the left direction and Mario and Luigi ran right. The two of them quickly ran into metal buildings that were on the verge of collapsing.

"Okay, we got 20 seconds before those pyrospheres find us. Do you know of any liquidizing element anywhere in this building?" asked Kooper.

"Gee, I dunno. Maybe the sink with a water hose attached to it?!" yelled Geno, pointing to the sink.

The doll and the blue shelled koopa walked over to the sink, turning around and realized that the door had been blown open by the large, dark-red balls of fire. All of them were slowly hovering to the duo, ready to burn them alive. Some of them even chuckled and spat out some smoke and charcoal. Kooper yanked out the hose from the sink and aimed it at the pyrospheres.

"Suck some water, bitches!"

Geno glared stupidly at Kooper.

"Kooper…did you really just break the silence by yelling out, 'Suck some water, bitches!'?"

"I ran out of motivation lines! Just shut up and turn on the sink!!"

Geno twisted the knob on the sink and started to spray all of the pyrospheres, watching them squeal like wailing ghosts that had been exposed to light. After a couple of minutes, all of the pyrospheres hissed loudly and evaporated into nothing but steam. Kooper and Geno sighed.

"Well, that was easy."

Kooper and Geno screamed and started to run around the building as the chain chomp got a whiff of the two and burst through the wall. The only thing they could do to avoid the monster's fiery slobber and teeth was to hide down in an underground basement, which was broken immediately after they entered the dark chamber. Luckily, the chain chomp's body was far too large to fit through the doorway so it just sat there, stuck. Meanwhile, Luigi and Mario found a pipe inside the building they were in and assumed that it must have some form of water inside.

"Luigi, we gotta break these pipes before that chain chomp swallows Kooper and Geno whole!" said Mario.

"What can we use? All we have is a Thunder Bolt and…oh."

Mario took out his thunder bolt item and threw it in the air, waiting for a shining electric lightning bolt to strike inside the building. After waiting for a very long time, the Mario Bros. yelped and side-stepped right as the lightning bolt struck through the pipe, severing it in half. A whole year's supply of water was gushing out of the pipes with full speed, soaring fast enough to launch someone hundreds of feet away. Mario grabbed the pipe and aimed it in the chain chomp's direction. The chain chomp heard all the commotion and was charging right towards the Mario Bros., barking like crazy.

"Open your mouth baby. Here it comes."

"What the (censored)?! Did you just make a reference to Family Guy?!" asked Luigi.

"FINE! Next time, I'll just say, 'Tasty juice! Drink it, then convert it to pee!'"

"…"

"I'll shut up now."

Just as the chain chomp opened its huge mouth, Mario blasted a full stream of ice-blistering water into its mouth, making it yelp like crazy. Pretty soon, the chain chomp wasn't on fire anymore and it was limping away, whining again. Mario jumped to the chain and began to slowly stretch it back, yanking it until it was nearly 20 meters long. Then Mario released the chain chomp into the building that Kooper and Geno were hiding in, tumbling it into nothing but concrete and bent metal pipes. Kooper and Geno shouted as they broke their way through the planks, panting heavily.

"Are you guys trying to get us killed?!!? What if the chain chomp ignited itself and--"

The chain chomp roared loudly in their ears and burst into flames once again, bouncing his way for them again. Kooper and Geno grouped with the Mario Bros., not knowing what to do anymore. All the buildings were destroyed and the pipe in the building the Mario Bros. were in ran out of water, so there was no more chance of finding another water pipe to douse the chain chomp with. All they could do was stand there and wait for their deaths. Mario was right…they were going to get devoured by a flaming ball-and-chain.

"Well…we had a good run I guess…" said Kooper.

"NO! I told you, I am not getting eaten alive by any form of creature! This is unacceptable!!"

Mario suddenly gasped and snapped his fingers, with a light bulb appearing over his head. He just got a brilliant idea.

"Geno! You still got that volt shroom?" asked Mario.

"Yes."

"Give it to me, quick!"

Geno tossed the shroom to Mario. The second he grabbed it, Mario took off his hat and began to violently rub it on his hair.

"Come on, come on!!" he muttered to himself.

The shroom zapped in his hand and Mario began to run the shroom on the ground, waiting for something metal to shoot up from underground. After some time, a large and thick metal pipe slowly broke through the grass and sand and appeared in front of the group. You see, by rubbing the electric shroom on his hair, he managed to magnetize the fungus and used it to find a sewer pipe. Mario took out his hammer and started to bang on the pipe until the screws gradually were knocked out of place.

"Oh, I get it! You magnetized the volt shroom so you could drag a sewer pipe out of the ground! That's really clever!" said Geno.

"Just help me lift it before the chain chomp gets to us!!"

As the pipe broke in half and began to spill rotten, but cold sewage waste all over the ground, the four heroes lifted the pipe with great force and aimed it at the monster. The chain chomp squealed and yelped like a baby, protesting against the cold wet water. After the chain chomp was no longer on fire, it whined loudly and began to hop away again.

"GENO WHIRL!!!"

The flying orange disk slammed right into the chain chomp, pulverizing its whole body and leaving a huge whole in the back of its head. If that wasn't bad enough, the disk went through its mouth. The chain chomp roared one final time before it made a guttural death rattle and slouched over to its side…deceased.

"WHOO!!! And I thought Gloomtail was tough!!" said Luigi, panting.

"Hey, at lease the chain chomp didn't have bad breath." said Mario.

"True."

Mario and the gang walked over to the chain chomp's body and looked at it, gazing into its lifeless eyes and open mouth.

"Rock, paper, scissors to see who has to go in its mouth, okay? Rock, paper--"

"Nope! Uh-uh! Last time, I had to sift through dragon feces! You're sticking your hand in that ball-and-chain's mouth right now Mario!!" yelled Luigi.

Mario groaned and stuck his hand into the beast's mouth, trying to ignore the disgusting squishing sounds he heard. Hopefully, it was just the tongue…but Mario didn't want to find out. He might be touching the uvula and he didn't want to get pounds of vomit on his being again. Eventually, Mario grabbed a treasure chest and took it out of the creature's mouth, quickly opening it.

"Holy snap! The next lieutenant's Iggy Koopa?!" asked Kooper.

The four heroes were looking at a full schematic of some of Iggy's blueprints for his armory and castle. There were even a few methods that revealed how he could evade all the traps without getting any scars. There was even a large yellow key inside.

"Whoa…this looks pretty big guys. We've gotta stop Iggy as soon as possible!" said Kooper.

"We better restock at the item shops guys. It looks like we're going on a very long journey." said Mario.


	16. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 1 of 8. The Koopa Bros. begin phase one of their bank heist, Morton and Bowser discuss about Trowzer and Bowser's history, and Mario and the gang traverse through the Forest of Illusion to find Iggy's armory, gaining a 5th ally in the process.

**A/N: Yeah, this chapter's got eight separate parts to it, so it's pretty damn long. In fact, it's probably gonna be my longest chapter yet. I tried to shorten it to three or five chapters, but it didn't work. Enjoy!**

**Wear Rainbows on your Shell (part 1)**

Morton Koopa Jr. and Wario were sitting in the private lunchroom for many of Bowser's top lieutenants. It was exclusive to hundreds of the lackeys and even had a platinum door with three keyholes. Inside, the lunchroom had an oven, microwave, toaster oven, and even a charcoal grill. The regular lunchroom only had a ratty toaster oven and had several broken tiles and a busted pipe. The executive lunchroom was two times bigger with clean blue tiles on the floor, walls and ceiling. Even the tables and chairs that everyone sat on were more luxurious.

"So what kind of bread is that?" asked Morton.

"Sourdough." Wario responded.

Wario slowly raised a sandwich to his mouth, ready to take a bite.

"And what kind of sausage links are those?"

Wario sighed. "Johnsonville! Now will you please let me eat my breakfast in peace?!"

"Okay."

Wario once again raised the sandwich to his lips.

"How do you make that again?"

Wario grumbled angrily, tired of Morton interrupting him from eating.

"Okay, you fry the sausage for about a half-hour, then you grill the sourdough bread on that grill back there, and then you put the sausage in between the slices of bread. Now can you stop pestering me all the time?!"

"All right, all right! I'll let you eat the sandwich in peace!"

"Thank you."

Just as Wario was about to take another bite, Morton interrupted him again to ask another question.

"You said half-hour right?"

"YOU--"

"Hey, Wario!" yelled Waluigi, storming into the lunchroom.

"What?"

"Someone backed up the toilet again. Go fix it!"

"Err…why?"

"Cause you're the one who broke it! Now get in there and fix it!"

"I haven't even used the toilet for a week!"

"Sure, I'm gonna believe a guy who creates nuclear farts didn't break the toilet."

Wario groaned loudly and slammed his sandwich on the table.

"Don't touch my sandwich! I'm gonna go fix the toilet so Waluigi will stop complaining."

"See ya."

Wario and Waluigi began to walk away while angrily chastising each other over and over again, trying to blame the other person for breaking the toilet. As soon as the two of them left the area, Morton grabbed the sandwich and shoved the whole thing into his mouth, chewing on it with satisfaction. Meanwhile, Morton could hear his father and uncle arguing with each other again down the hallway.

"Why do you think I'm always so under prepared than you are?!" shouted Bowser.

"Maybe because you are! Did you ever bother of thinking of any contingency plans is case your son fails to take out Mario?" asked Trowzer.

"I'm working on it right now!"

Trowzer scoffed. "Working on it is just a code for 'I haven't even started on it yet.' I dunno, maybe you want to lead your regime to downfall…again."

Bowser growled angrily at Trowzer as he turned his back on him and walked out of the room, leaving him to ponder on the insult Trowzer just delivered.

"Uh…Dad?"

"What?" growled Bowser, still gritting his teeth.

"…Are you supposed to be digging your claws into the table or…?"

Bowser looked down and realized that he was roughly scraping his claws into the wooden table, leaving claw marks at least an inch thick. Bowser picked up his hand and shook all the wood shavings from his claws.

"Sorry. It's just that your uncle can get me very…very…very frustrated."

"What was he talkin' about with contingency plans?"

"You feel like going to Magma Mountain? I was supposed to go there a couple of days ago to collect some brimstone."

Morton heard a door open and a toilet flush perfectly, indicating that Wario had finally fixed the toilet.

"Um…sure. Why not? Now let's get going before--"

"WHO ATE MY GODDAMN SANDWICH?!!?"

"RUN!"

Bowser and Morton ran out of the lunchroom.

* * *

Morton and Bowser were traversing around Bowser's Magma Mountain, collecting several shovelfuls of brimstone and dumping the rocks into giant bags. The mountain was hot (as there was a volcano at the top) and boiling hot magma was splattering the mountain like crazy. Morton and his father needed to be careful where they walked. Otherwise, the raining magma would land in their shells or on top of their heads and melt them alive.

"Why do we need all of this brimstone again?" asked Morton.

"It's a surprise!"

"Oh."

Bowser and Morton got another two more shovelfuls of brimstone and dumped it into a bag.

"Hey, Dad…what's the deal with you and Uncle Trowzer?"

"Your _half_-uncle. Trowzer's my half-brother. Why do you think he was born only three weeks before me?" said Bowser.

"Wait a second…Grandpa got two women pregnant within three weeks?!"

"Pretty much. My father had sex just one time with some koopa he met at some internet café, and she got pregnant. So he freaked out and left her. Three weeks later, he gets another girlfriend, has sex with her on the first date; she gets pregnant. After that, my dad just disappeared."

"…Does that mean every male koopa in this family is going to be a pimp when they reach age forty?"

"Ah--What?! What the (censored) does that mean?!"

"Dad, just about every guy in this family has had sex with more than one female koopa. Junior's only nineteen and he's already got a girlfriend."

"What about you?"

"Dad, I've had sex with ten koopas already. I don't even know half their names."

"No! You don't--"

Bowser slammed his shovel to the ground and clutched his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you!!? Don't you remember that 'talk' we had?!"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you learn anything from it?!!"

"No. I was zoning out the whole time."

"I did the same thing; look what happened! I got eight kids, maybe even ten wives I don't know!"

"Cool."

Bowser groaned.

"So what's the deal with you and Trowzer again?"

Bowser sighed.

"When we were kids, he always bullied me. Just cause he's smarter than me and stronger than me and buffer than me and older than me, he always thought he was in charge. Trowzer always beat me up, stole my toys, spat on my food--the son of a bitch even sat on me! My goddamn half-brother sat on me!!"

"Damn. Well…it's not like he farted on you like Iggy does to me."

"He did that too!!!"

"Did you ever once think about fighting back?"

"Yeah, I stabbed him with a fork…in the eye. That's why his right eye's looks a little bloodshot."

Bowser sighed. "I'm starting to wonder if he's even my half-brother. We don't even look alike! He's got green skin; I got yellow. I got orange hair; he's got yellow. I got white spikes on my shell; he's got green. My shell's black--"

"I thought it was green?"

"Shut up. You know I spray-painted it. Anyway, his is blue. We look nothing alike!!"

"Neither do we! I got a birthmark on my face that looks like a star! Besides, both of you act very similar."

"How?"

"You both eat a lot."

"So do you."

"You both have bad dragon breath."

"So do you!"

"Both of you have no problem farting in public."

"You do that too dumbass! You're naming all the stuff that you do!"

"I don't fart in pub--"

Morton suddenly passed gas next to Bowser, causing him to sniff the air twice and plug his nose. Bowser angrily glared at Morton.

"It was the brimstone."

**Meanwhile…at the Financial Security Counsel…**

Red, Yellow, Green, and Black were standing in front the bank, ready to blow open the front door. Green was busy reviewing the plans with Red and Yellow while Black was setting bob-ombs next to the door.

"Okay, as soon as we get inside, we're gonna shoot up in the air and freak everybody out. Then we're gonna use our thunder rages to knock out the electrical equipment so the cameras can't spot us and no one can set off the alarms. After that, Red and I will find out what the safe combination is and get as much money as we can from the main vault. When we're done, Black and Red will set the explosives in the basement and we'll run like hell to get out of the bank before it blows up. And we're gonna be the richest koopas in all of the Mushroom Kingdom. Do you guys understand?"

"…You lost me at 'okay.'" said Red.

Green grumbled and sighed heavily.

"Bang! Bang! Shock! Shock! Steal! Steal! Run! Run! BOOM!!! Do you get me now jackasses?!" yelled Green, making several hand signals and foot movements.

"You don't have to yell Green! We're not stupid!"

"All right, I've got the explosives set!" said Black.

"Got it. Let's get started. 3...2…1…GO!"

Green pushed a button from a remote control hidden in his shell and activated the bob-ombs. All of them exploded and blew the door sky high, blasting it to smithereens. The Koopa Bros. took out machine laser pistols (which were modified from single blaster lasers from Super Smash Brothers) and stormed into the bank. Red pointed his gun in the air and fired it several times, shattering the roof and sending plaster and cement to the floor.

"EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!!!" yelled Red.

Unlike Toad Town, all the Toads in the bank were very scared and started screaming the second Red fired his shots.

"Don't touch that alarm!" yelled Green, pointing his gun to a security Toad.

The security guard continued to run for the alarm, prompting Green to shoot the guard in the back.

"Take out the alarm system!" commanded Red.

"Uh…yeah." said Yellow.

Yellow took out his thunder rages and tossed them in the air, watching as the large item fired several bolts of lightning at the security booth and alarming systems, frying all of the equipment until it was charred.

"30 seconds. Damn, we're good!" said Green, looking at his watch.

"We should become bank robbers after Mario's gone." said Black.

"Yes, we should. Alright!! I need everybody to move in a single-file line into the executive offices right now!" commanded Green.

"(Censored) you!!" yelled a Toad.

Green shot the Toad in the eye and watched as he screamed and held his bleeding eye.

"OW, MY EYE!!"

"Like I said single-file line--"

"(Censored) you!!" yelled the Toad who just got shot.

Green shot him in the other eye.

"OW, MY EYE!!"

"Single-file--"

"OW, MY EYE!!!"

"I DIDN'T EVEN SHOOT YOU YET!!"

"You're gonna!"

The Koopa Bros. looked at each other in a confused way, not knowing what to do with the resisting Toad.

"Um…"

Red took out his gun and shot the Toad again.

"OW, MY EYE!!"

"…I shot him in the groin…" whispered Red.

"Okay, everybody but this guy who has eye problems walk into the executive offices right now before I shoot you in the eye too!"

All of the toads raised their hands and slowly began to walk into the executive offices in the back of the bank. Black was jabbing some of the other resisting Toads as well, but other than that, the Koopa Bros. were doing fine.

"Alright. We gotta rummage around this bank until we find the codes to the vault before the KPA gets here and tries to take over the bank. Any suggestions?" asked Green.

"You're the smart one, you tell us." scoffed Red.

"Why not interrogate the executive officer? He probably has the codes." suggested Yellow.

"Sure, that'll work! Let's go find him before--"

"Hey dudes! Check this out! Someone already did the work for us!" said a mysterious voice.

"Wait, I didn't call for backup…" muttered Green.

Red, Yellow, and Green looked at the blown open door to see four dark red goombas with black bandannas tied over their heads. One of them even had a couple of bob-ombs inside of his mouth, most likely ready to use them to blow open the door. When the goombas saw the three koopas, their jaws dropped and they didn't know what to say.

"Uh…I think we're robbing the wrong bank dude." one of them muttered.

"Who the (censored) are you guys?" demanded Red.

"We're the Goomba Bros. and we came here to steal all of the riches from this bank!"

"That's cool and all, but we were here first! You're just gonna have to find another bank--"

Before Red could finish, glass began to fall on top of him, prompting him and his brothers to hide in their shells. When they looked up, they were stunned to see six yellow arantula arachnids slowly slide down their webs and land on the floor. The leader of the dangerous arantulas looked left and right to see that they were a little late in robbing the bank.

"Oh, damnit! Someone already beat us to the punch!"

"Get out!! No one else is supposed to even know about this bank! Everybody get the (censored) out now!!" yelled Green.

After Green was done shouting at the arantulas and goombas, five putrid piranhas with orange spots and green skin…leaves…skin…outer coloring, burst through the walls with their gaping mouths open, slobber dripping off each tooth.

"RRRAAHH!! We're the furious putrid piranhas and we're gonna…"

The putrid piranha glanced at the three groups of bank robbers and shouted, "GODDAMNIT!!"

"For (censored) sake! Did every notorious bank robber decide to rob this specific bank at this exact same time?!!!?" shouted Red.

Suddenly, four red Boos appeared out of nowhere behind the Goomba Bros. and scared them silly, opening their mouths and making a scary face.

"Who the (censored) are you guys?! You scared the (censored) out of me!" yelled a goomba bros.

"We're the Angry Boo Brothers and we're here to--"

"WHAT'S GOING ON!?!!" squealed Green while he held his head in confusion.

**Meanwhile…**

Mario, Geno, Kooper, and Luigi studied the map and found out that Iggy's Armory was located deep inside the Forest of Illusion. It was a perplexing, paralyzing, peculiar forest of…plants that was full of so much fauna and exotic edible vegetables that it was easy to get lost. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened to Mario and his friends.

"Which way did we go?" asked Mario.

"This way. No…I think it was that way." Geno pointed out.

"No…we went this…way…" Luigi began to trail off.

"We're lost, aren't we?" concluded Kooper.

"That's not true! See, look up there! It's another ? block!" said Mario.

Mario and his friends looked up to see a ? block rotating in circles over and over again. Usually, ? blocks contain something good. Of course, Mario thought that last time and he was almost killed by a dragon.

"Remember the last ? block you saw?" asked Geno.

"Trust me Geno. My gut tells me there's something good in that block." said Mario.

"Like what?"

"A feather maybe?"

"Hey, yeah! If you get a feather, you could fly over the forest and get a better vantage point of spotting the armory!"

"Here goes."

Mario jumped up and slammed his head into the ? block, waiting for whatever item (or trap) would appear. After a couple of seconds, a tiny red spotted egg came out and began to rapidly crack. Pretty soon, a fully grown Yoshi came out and jumped to the ground.

"Oh, thank you guys! Thank you! Iggy captured me while he was building his armory and trapped me inside that block! You have my undivided gratitude." said the Yoshi.

"Cool! A Yoshi! Can I ride it?" asked Kooper.

"I don't know. He looks like he might eat you." said Mario.

"How come he's red though? And what's with his breath? It's so hot it's burning my eyes!!" said Luigi.

The red Yoshi spat in Luigi's eyes.

"Are they cooled off now? And to answer your question, I'm a Fire Yoshi. That means any and EVERY koopa I ingest turns into flaming podoboos if I spit it back out. Maybe I can make an example by eating your little friend over there…"

"What're you doing…?" asked Kooper, taking two steps back when the Yoshi approached him.

"You are not going to eat that koopa! He's our friend and we need his help on our journey!" said Mario.

"You can find another koopa."

"Okay, okay, okay! Obviously, you're hungry, so here. Eat this potato salad and this shroom steak I had Tayce T. make."

The Yoshi stretched out his long, sultry tongue and it stuck to the potato salad dish. He retracted the tongue back into his mouth and started to chew on the salad with joy, swallowing it after a couple of seconds. Then he did the same maneuver with the shroom steak, chewing it slowly so he could savor the flavor.

"Alright, we're good. Hop on my back and I'll help you get to Iggy's armory."

"You spat in my face!!" yelled Luigi.

"Will you feel better if you ride the Yoshi?" asked Mario.

Luigi squealed like a girl and yelled, "I get to ride a Yoshi!!"

Luigi jumped on top of the red Yoshi.

"Hey, you got a name? We can't just run around calling you Red Yoshi." said Kooper.

"…Well, I've never had an owner, so I guess I don't have a name. Maybe you guys can name me."

"How's about Hotbreath?" suggested Luigi.

"No, he looks more like a Heatblast to me." said Geno.

"That name's already taken. How's about Blaze? You like that name?" asked Mario.

"Okay. Blaze it is then!"

Now that Mario and his friends had a Yoshi for a new accomplice, they would be able to traverse through the forest a lot more easily. The five heroes began to run forward when they were stopped by a whole barrage of bob-ombs inside of bubbles.

"Uh…what?" asked Luigi, completely confused.

"Iggy must've deployed a weapon that fired bob-ombs encased in bubbles." said Blaze.

"That's a bad thing?"

"Yeah, if they pop right above us. The bob-ombs--"

Nine bubbles of bob-ombs exploded above Blaze and the bob-ombs fell on top of everybody, exploding on impact. Blaze yelped and began to run away from Luigi and the whole group, presumably trying to get to safety.

"Blaze! Get back here!" yelled Luigi, chasing after Blaze.

Meanwhile, Mario and the others were forced to fight the remaining bob-ombs. Mario took out his hammer and bonked a bob-omb on the head, making it mad and forcing it to walk up to Mario and explode. Geno wasn't having a problem at all though; he was shooting stars from his hands and bullets from his elbows, causing the bob-ombs to explode on impact. Kooper still possessed the ability to ignite his shell on fire and shoot his way through a whole row of enemies, which he found very effective with the bob-ombs. In a matter of seconds, all of the bombs were gone.

"I forgot; if something unpleasant disturbs a Yoshi it runs off until it thinks it's safe." said Geno.

Mario, Kooper, and Geno ran forward to find Luigi and Blaze standing right on the edge of a gap, one footstep away from falling to their deaths.

"Sorry. I get a little freaked out when enemies touch me." said Blaze.

"Why?" asked Kooper.

"…I don't know."

Everyone shouted when a bullet bill fired out of nowhere and almost blasted them in the face. Iggy also had a bunch of bullet bill blasters aimed away from the armory so no intruder would dare come near it. The bullets could soar for nearly 35 kilometers or even more before they slowed down and self-destructed.

"Guys! I can eat the bad guys y'know! Yoshis just don't eat food!"

"Why didn't you say that earlier?!" asked Luigi.

"I'm sorry. I thought the famous Mario Bros. would be smart enough to know that Yoshis have bottomless bellies!!"

"Stop complaining and just eat the bullet bills!" said Geno.

Blaze jumped into the air and devoured a bullet bill after he latched it onto his tongue and sucked it into his mouth.

"Alright, let's continue."

Mario and the gang once again began to run across the forest, ducking their way through bob-ombs and bullet bills, watching as Blaze continued to eat the bob-omb bubbles and sentient bullets with faces. Other than that, there wasn't much of a challenge getting through the forest since Blaze was acting like a guide for the group.

"Hey, guys…what's that sound?" asked Kooper.

"Wigglers. They're long centipede creatures that like to wiggle a lot. Don't stomp on their heads or they're gonna get extremely angry."

"Can you eat Wigglers?" asked Luigi.

"Yeah."

"Then what do we have to worry about?!"

Blaze chuckled. "I've seen some pretty big Wigglers…some even I can't ingest."

Kooper yelped and hid inside of his shell when four bullets bills slammed into him from all directions, blackening his shell and leaving gunpowder on the ground. Kooper came out of his shell and started coughing up gunpowder.

"I'm sick of all these bullet bills!! Why is it so hard for someone to build a pipe that leads right to Iggy's Armory?!"

"Why do you think Iggy's troops imprisoned me? I built a blue pipe right over there that leads directly to the front of Iggy's Armory."

Blaze pointed to a pipe right next to the group with a sign that said, "Pipe which leads to Iggy's Armory."

"Convenient." said Geno.

Everybody hopped into the pipe and began to swirl their way to Iggy's Armory with no resistance.

* * *

Mario and the gang exited the pipe covered in Blaze's saliva.

"What is this gunk?" asked Mario, looking at bubbly white stuff on his clothes.

"Spit. I had to make the metal pipes stick together so I just spat on everything." said Blaze.

"Did it ever occur to you to use tape?" asked Geno.

"Yes."

Everyone continued to glance at Blaze, not knowing why he hadn't just gotten a roll of duct tape instead of using his own saliva to seal the pipes into place.

"Right…well I guess we should go inside now." said Kooper.

"Yes…go inside the scary chamber of death, instead of finding a rocket launcher and blowing the whole fortress to smithereens." said Luigi.

"Aw, c'mon bro! Where's the fun in destroying the fortress if we don't explore the insides first?" asked Mario.

**To be continued…**


	17. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 2

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 2 of 8. While The Koopa Bros. try to figure out the code for the vault, Mario and the gang sift through Iggy's fortress and encounter Rowzfur.

**Wear Rainbows on your Shell (part 2)**

Green was furiously rubbing his head with his eyes shut, wondering how he and his brothers would be able to rob the bank. As of now, there were 30 notorious bank robbing factions standing inside of the bank, arguing amongst each other.

"Okay…this is really starting to get out of hand." muttered Black.

"When'd you figure that out? After you saw the dragons fly through the glass dome, or after you saw those werewolves burst through the windows?" asked Yellow.

"…Actually, I got confused when those putrid piranhas entered here." said Black.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!" screamed Green.

All the various creatures suddenly stopped talking.

"Somehow…there are over 100 creatures standing inside this bank right now. I have no idea how the (censored) it got this bad, but we all want the same thing. So, I suggest that we use our combined abilities to crack open the vault and get the money."

"Agreed."

"Yesss, we should all work together." said some snake creature that stood like a human being.

Four anthromorphic snakes with yellow and green scales wearing dark green shorts were also inside the bank, along with four dragons of different colors, three black furry werewolves that stood on their hind legs and were wearing brown shorts, and several other creatures. The Furious Putrid Piranhas and the werewolves hovered behind Red's back, breathing their hot breath on his neck.

"Could you guys back up a little bit? Your breath smells like that dragon's butt." said Red, holding his nose.

The putrid piranhas and the werewolves growled menacingly at Red, while the dragon Red pointed to sniffed his own butt, which had flies buzzing over it.

"C'mon! It doesn't stink that bad!"

"What's that brown stuff you got stuck to it?" asked Black.

"Don't touch that Black!" yelled Yellow.

"Why?"

"It's dried up dragon sh--"

"Heh, heh, heh! Hey, one of you guys pull my claw!" said an orange dragon with a red zigzag birthmark on his stomach.

"Um…okay." said one of the red boos.

One of the red boo bandits yanked the dragon's claw, prompting him to fart loudly and roll around on his back laughing wildly with his dragon friends. Everyone groaned and held their noses, repulsed by the stench.

"How do you guys still fall for that?!" laughed the dragon.

"Guys…where's Yellow?" asked Black.

Yellow was lying on the ground, unconscious. Unfortunately, he was standing right behind the orange dragon when he decided to fart out loud. The gas was so noxious that he passed out.

"I'm surrounded by (censored) idiots!" said Green, slamming his face into the wall repeatedly.

"Okay, seriously people, we need to think of a way to get inside that safe." said a green bob-omb.

"Why don't you and your squad just blow open the door?" asked a putrid piranha.

"Cause we'll die after the first explosion."

"No you won't. You'll just fall back to the ground from nowhere."

"It only works with Bubby Bob-ombs like Bombette. Bad guy bob-ombs like us will die after we explode."

"That's ridiculous! Why would someone make a bob-omb with infinite lives and another type of bob-omb with only one life?!"

"That's what I'm saying! How retarded is that bull(censored)?!"

"Anyone else got suggestions?" asked Green.

"Give Fido here a breath mint?" asked Red, pointing to a werewolf.

"How's that gonna unlock the vault Red?! I'm talking about unlocking the vault Red! I'm not talking about animals with bad breath Red!!"

"…What?"

"Oh my G--Anyone else?!!"

"Well, can't we just fry the door off with our fire breath?" asked a dragon.

"I wish. The doors are fire proof."

"I GOT IT! Let's interrogate the supervisor or the manager!" said Black.

"FINALLY! You finally suggested something smart today!!" said Green.

"Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"I like candy corn!"

"What the (censored)?!"

"Hey, you want to give me a big hug?" asked a snake.

"Um…that depends. Are you gonna squeeze me till my bones pop and later devour me?" responded the dark koopa.

The snake put his tail on the dark koopa's shell, slowly curling it to his neck.

"…What are you doing???"

"So…how should we interrogate the supervisor?" asked a bob-omb.

Green scratched his chin and thought for a while before he came up with an idea.

"GOT IT! Any of you guys watch The Shield?"

"Nope."

Green sighed. "In The Shield, some cops tied a Russian arms dealer to a chair with blocks of C-4 tied to it. If one of the arms dealer's subordinates didn't reveal who killed these two cops, the team would blow the arms dealer sky high!"

"Yeah! We get to blow stuff up again!"

"We're not gonna blow up the manager Black! We're gonna tie the bob-ombs to a chair, tape him to it, and threaten one of his workers to give up the code or else we'll blow up his or her boss."

The bob-ombs gulped.

"Don't worry! You guys will be okay!"

"Green…one of the snakes is eating a dark koopa…" warned Red.

The Koopa Bros. turned around to see a green snake on the floor, slowly swallowing a dark koopa with his gaping mouth sliding across his body.

"…Maybe we should walk away now."

* * *

The bank manager was shouting muffled replies and protests as Black and Red were taping his body up with duct tape along with the bob-ombs. Many of the manager's workers were in the same office that he was in and also had the risk of getting blown to bits like Mallick.

"Are you guys sure this is safe?" asked a bob-omb.

"Just as long as the toad doesn't move so much, you guys will be outta here in no time." said Red.

"Okay…I can do this. I just need to remember not to blow myself up too early."

Red and Black walked out of the office and locked the door, returning to the group of bank robbers. One of the manager's assistants was still outside being held hostage by the whole coalition, witnessing what was happening to her boss.

"Let's make this as clear as possible: You tell us what the combination to the vault is and you won't have to see your boss's brains blown across this room. Understand?" growled a werewolf.

The Koopa Bros. saw the bank manager shout in a muffled way and jolt around in his chair, nearly tipping it over.

"Hey! Go tell him to stop moving the goddamn chair before he blows himself up!" warned Green.

"I swear, I don't know what the code for the vault is!"

"We have ways of making you talk…"

Yellow glanced through the window to see the manager tip his own chair over and begin to fall down.

"Uh, Green?"

"What?"

Everyone was blown off their feet by the massive explosion that incinerated the manager and 21 of his employees. Glass was blown everywhere and smoke filled the whole area, along with charred concrete and burnt floor tiles. When the smoke clear, everyone began to cough and look at the aftermath.

"DAMN! That was loud man!"

"Okay…that did not go well."

"Now that your boss is dead, it looks like it's all up to you. Now tell us! What's the combination?!" demanded a red boo.

"I don't know! The manager keeps the codes locked up in his safe and he had the key hidden in a secret place I don't even know about!"

Green eyes grew wide. "OH (CENSORED)! Apparently we just blew up the only guy who knew anything about the vault!"

"Yeah, but look on the bright side,"

"What could possible be good about the current circumstances we've been placed in?!"

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" said Black, smiling cheesily and holding a thumbs up.

**Geico. So easy a ninjakoopa can do it.**

* * *

"Now stay outside Blaze! We'll be back to get you in about 10 minutes." said Mario.

"Aww! Why can't I go inside the fortress?"

"…I don't know. That's just the way the game works."

While Blaze stayed next to a bush near the fortress, Mario, Geno, Luigi, and Kooper entered Iggy's armory through a massive door. It rumbled as it vertically lifted up and opened, allowing the heroes to get inside. Then the massive door shut down and locked loudly. As the heroes got inside, they were overwhelmed by the loud thumps and grunts of the spiky gray thwomps and thwimps that continued to hop back and forth and slam onto the brown wide-scaled ground ledges. The fortress background was dark and everyone could see several columns that were black and red and that the ceilings were made of thick stone blocks. They gang even saw pools of lava that could only be crossed via hanging on a yellow climbing net. The whole situation looked grim.

"Okay…here's what we do: First, we wait for those five thwomps to fall down and slowly rise so we can get past them. Then we hop on the climbing net and move our way to the other ground ledge and jump off, avoiding all the podoboos that jump out the lava. After that, all we gotta do is dodge the thwimps and the loose spikes and we should be able to get to the other door." said Geno.

"Cool. See, this would be so much harder if you weren't here Geno!" said Mario.

"You see guys? I'M THE FAVORITE!!"

"(Censored) you Geno!" said Kooper.

"…And you guys wonder why I don't try to make jokes anymore."

The four heroes examined the movements of the thwomps and tried to see when they would fall and rise from the ground. By the looks of it, they only slammed to the ground when they got close to one, and then they would slowly rise back to a hole in the stone block ceilings. Mario and Luigi got close to one thwomp and waited for it to fall. After it did, they ran through the exposed path and got past the first thwomp. Geno and Kooper did the same maneuver. The heroes continued to do this technique until they got past all five thwomps and arrived at the pool of lava with a climbing net hanging over it.

Mario and Luigi hopped onto the net and locked their fingers through the holes so that they could traverse across it with ease. Geno and Kooper did the same thing and all four of them were horizontally moving across the net. They stopped for a few seconds when a podoboo erupted from the lava and almost hit them, then they continued to travel along the net. Every now and then, the four heroes stopped to avoid the podoboos, but other than that, they had no problem getting to the other ground ledge that covered the lava. The heroes jumped off the net and landed onto the ledge, which was occupied with several thwimps.

Geno examined the thwimps' movements and watched as they hopped high in the air going left and right, pounding their hard stone bodies on the ground. This wasn't going to be hard at all; Geno predicted their movements were very similar to the thwomps they encountered earlier in the fortress. Geno quickly ran underneath a thwimp as it jumped in the air and stood in the middle to avoid taking damage. Then he waited for it to jump again before he ran past it and underneath the path of another hopping thwimp. Mario, Luigi, and Kooper followed Geno's movements until they were able to successfully reach the brown door that would lead to another dungeon in the fortress.

"WHOA!!" yelled Kooper, immediately ducking when a black and white grinder almost cut him in half.

"What the hell are those thing?!" asked Luigi.

"Grinders. They're giant circular saws that can cut through bone like butter and travel along guide lines or the floor. By the looks of it, they're all over this section of the dungeon." said Geno.

"What should we do? The boss door is right at the end of this room and we can't turn back!" said Kooper.

"I gotta scrutinize the grinders' movements and figure out a way to get past them without dying. When I stop moving, you guys follow behind me, okay? There's nothing else here besides these grinders and large spikes so we shouldn't have too much of a problem."

Geno studied the grinders carefully, breathing heavily and trying to find a way to get past the first two. They were quickly zooming back and forth and were so close to the ground that they could only be dodged if they crouched underneath them in the right spot. Geno waited almost 30 seconds before he ran into the center of the grinders' paths and ducked, crawling his way along the ground until he was far away from the grinders to stand up. Mario, Kooper, and Luigi repeated the same movement and reached Geno.

Geno looked ahead to see three large spikes appear from the ceiling and descend down to the ground in unison. Immediately after those traps, he saw a grinder zigzagging vertically down guided lines.

"Hmm…" muttered Geno.

Geno waited for the spikes to ascend before he sprinted down the path and rolled underneath the grinder just seconds before it cut his head open. It was the only way to get past the traps; any other method would be fatal. Mario exhaled and waited for the spikes to move up slowly, and then he ran past them and rolled under the grinder. Luigi and Kooper did the same thing, but Luigi tripped at the last second and part of his hat was severed in half, which fell of his head.

"Oh, damnit! It cut my hat off!"

"Okay…I think there's one more left." said Geno.

Geno looked across the fortress to see a whole set of grinders and spikes popping up from the ceiling and the ground ledges. But somehow…he found a way to get through the perilous death trap alive. First, he waited for the two giant spikes to ascend from the floor, and then ran past them. Then, he ran past two grinders and stopped to wait for the last grinder to reach the floor and shoot back up. After getting past those grinders, he encountered several of them rolling along the floor, so he jumped on a climbing net and traverse along it until he reached the end of the fortress. Of course, if he slipped while he was on the net, he would've been torn to shreds. The three heroes managed to copy Geno's moves exactly before they reached the boss door. However, Luigi slipped on a ledge and fell backwards, nearly getting ripped to shreds if he landed in the pit of grinders. If it hadn't been for Kooper grabbing Luigi's foot and Geno grabbing Kooper's shell and Mario grabbing Geno's cape, they'd all be dead by now. Luigi still suffered a punishment though; he lost the hair that was in the middle of his skull, so he had a part of his scalp showing. It was kinda awkward. Imagine getting a Mohawk and then shaving it off, but you still have hair all over your head _except _for the middle. The team grunted with effort as they pulled Luigi up onto the ledge.

Kooper started laughing when he saw Luigi.

"What's so funny?"

"You got a giant bald spot dude!"

"What???"

Luigi ran his hand across the center of his scalp and realized that no a single speck of hair was on it.

"Son of a bitch! And I just lost my hat! How am I gonna cover this up?!"

"Duct tape!"

"Kooper, how is duct tape gonna help him?" asked Geno.

"It's duct tape! Duct tape can solve ANY problem!"

"If that's true, then why are we in this fortress in the first place? Why didn't I just grab a roll of duct tape and tape it around this fortress??"

"Don't question my logic Geno!"

"Guys, it doesn't matter anymore! We're already at the boss door so let's go thru it and kick Reznor's ass!" said Mario.

"You got it!" said Kooper.

Everyone entered the gigantic red door. After it shut behind them and locked, the gang began to examine the final dungeon in the fortress, although it looked more like an armory or chamber. Weapons crates were located everywhere inside the chamber. There were no windows…well, the windows had bars on them, and the whole atmosphere was dark red. The walls, ceiling, and floor were littered with dark grey and red blocks of stone and concrete. On the floor were several metal mushrooms and purple poisonous mushrooms. But what really caught the gang's eye was the massive red rat with a long tail, snorting smoke out of his nose. It was Rowzfur, the giant rat that nearly strangled Junior to death when Iggy introduced it to him.

"That's a big (censored) rat man!" said Luigi.

"Maybe it's friendly?" questioned Mario.

Rowzfur exhaled a giant trail of podoboos at the gang like a dragon, nearly burning their flesh off. Everyone yelped loudly and dived out the way.

"Yeah, I'm thinkin' it's mean." said Kooper.

Rowzfur chuckled evilly and began to run towards the gang, ready to bite them right on the face. Geno grabbed a metal mushroom and threw it at the fiery rat, but Rowzfur managed to engulf himself in fire and incinerated the metallic fungus.

"Did you really think it would be that easy?"

"For a second there…no, nevermind. I had a feeling that was gonna happen." said Mario.

"HEY! I got cheese in my shell!"

"Really? Give me some!" said Rowzfur.

The rat opened his mouth and shut his eyes, waiting for Kooper to place cheese on his tongue. Kooper chuckled mischievously and picked up a poisonous mushroom, chucking into the rat's mouth. Rowzfur swallowed the mushroom whole and turned green, gagging and coughing like crazy, trying to regurgitate the poisonous mushroom. Kooper got a metal mushroom and threw that right at Rowzfur's head, causing him to groan loudly and fall on his back. He eventually coughed up the poison shroom and turned back to his original red color.

"YES! I found his weak spot! Now we just need to do that two more times and this rat will--"

Kooper began to gag loudly when the red rat wrapped his thick tail around Kooper's throat. He was slowly strangling Kooper to death, using his own tail as a garrote.

"Let him go!" yelled Luigi, throwing another poison shroom at him.

Rowzfur had to let go of Kooper in order to swat the shroom away before he accidentally swallowed it again. Kooper held his neck and started coughing violently, just in time for Rowzfur to blow another blast of podoboos everywhere. Once again, everybody (except Kooper, he hid in his shell) rolled out the way to avoid the flames.

"If that's all you got then this'll be easy!" said Mario.

Rowzfur hawked and started spitting fiery loogies at the gang, just like a Fire Bro. does. The flammable globs of mucus and saliva bounced off the floor and continued to travel towards the four heroes, trying to make contact. Everybody jumped and yelped and quickly jolted their bodies out the way to avoid becoming fleshy charcoal. Rowzfur made his next mistake soon afterward when he was about to blow a gigantic puff of fire at the group. Unfortunately, he had to deeply inhale a large amount of air, which meant opening his mouth. When he did, Geno chucked another poison mushroom into his mouth. Rowzfur retched and started gagging loudly as he tried to regurgitate the fatal fungus from his stomach. Kooper grabbed another metal mushroom and threw it at the rat, causing him to take a huge amount of damage once again.

"YES!! Just one more time, and we're outta here!" said Mario.

Rowzfur growled deeply and started panting heavily and quickly. By breathing so rapidly, he managed to turn his whole body fiery again. Only this time, he started to spin around like one of the grinders, slowly edging his way to the heroes. Should any of them get caught in the rat's path, they'd die almost instantly. All of them began to run in all sorts of directions as the fiery rat twisted and twirled around the dungeon, banging off the walls like a pinball, nearly hitting all of them instantly. Kooper tripped over a metal mushroom and was almost hit by Rowzfur, but Geno came in and quickly dragged his body out the way.

After a long series of running around in circles, everybody stopped running when Rowzfur ceased to spin and moaned, walking around in a wobbly fashion. He was dizzy. Mario took this final opportunity to chuck another poison shroom into the rat's gigantic mouth. As always, the rat gagged and coughed like crazy, just before one of the heroes impaled him in the face with a metal shroom. Kooper picked up the final metal fungus and did so, causing the beast to roar loudly before falling on his back and passing out. The heroes walked over to the rat and started jabbing it to see if it was dead.

"I'm guessing its dead now…"

The rat suddenly burst to life and tried to strangle Mario with his tail one last time. Kooper reacted with lightning speed and ground-pounded on his torso, crushing his ribs and part of his chest. The rat groaned gutturally before it succumbed to his wounds.

"You're welcome."

* * *

Mario and the gang were outside of the armory with a detonator in their hands. They were preparing to blow up the whole fortress.

"You wanna blow it up Blaze? Be my guest." said Mario.

"How come he gets to blow up the fortress?!" whined Luigi.

"He hasn't even done anything but sit next to a bush! The least he can do is blow up this wretched dungeon."

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" shouted Blaze.

He jumped in the air and stomped on the detonator, which lead a flame along a guided path of gunpowder that led to the center of the fortress. The flame sparked all of the TNT barrels and gunpowder the team set inside, inevitably blowing up the fortress into several pieces, crumbling it to the ground.

"Awesome! Where to next?" asked Blaze.

"Looks like we gotta go to Iggy's castle. I suggest we get some more supplies at a pit stop before we get there." said Geno.

"Then after that, off to Iggy's Castle!"

**To be continued…**


	18. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 3

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 3 of 8. Tension rises amidst Bowser's Evil Clan and his family, Roy and Morton add some new features to Roy's castle, and Trowzer finds a way to get Peach to reveal more info about Mario.

**Wear Rainbows on Your Shell (part 3)**

While Mario and his gang were traversing through the perplexing Forest of Illusions, Bowser and his clan were conjuring more contingency plans in case Iggy failed and Mario managed to beat the snot out of him once again. Some members suggested that they should take over Isle Del Fino and use the newly acquired location as another base of operations. Others thought that they should strike at Yo'ster Isle and find a way to turn the peaceful Yoshis into bad creatures that were now loyal to King Bowser. Doopliss on the other hand…wanted to turn everybody around the Kingdom into pigs…again.

"WE ARE NOT TURNING EVERYONE INTO PIGS!!!" squealed Bowser.

"It was just a thought man. No need to get so uptight." said Doopliss.

"I GOT IT! Why don't we go explore Gritzy Caves again? Y'know, to see if Petey had another relative that we could recruit since Petey met his demise?" suggested a hyper cleft.

"There's no point in doing that now! We drove out all of those plants a long time ago!" Bowser responded.

"OOH! OHH! OHH! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!" shouted a giddy Hammer Bros.

"Yes…Joseph?" asked an exasperated Bowser.

"How's about we find some velociraptors--"

"What the hell are you talking about?!!?" screamed Bowser, holding his head with both of his hands.

"Wait, they aren't velociraptors! They're T-Rexes!" pointed out a red shy guy.

"…T-Rexes?" asked Bowser.

"Yeah! Don't you remember that tiny orange Tyrannosaurus Rex and his bulky green brother? I think they called themselves the Tyrannosaurus Twins."

"How original." remarked a bulky bob-omb flatly.

"Hey, we need all the allies we can get and no matter how stupid those dinos seem, we might as well take what we can get."

"I seriously doubt some retired wrestling dinosaurs will want to be part of this league, seeing as how stupid our ruler is." scoffed a dark koopa.

"WHAT'D YOU SAY?!!?" growled Bowser.

Bowser walked over to the koopa clenching his right hand into a fist, gritting his pointy white teeth at the guy as though he were ready to rip his face off.

"I'm tired of holding in my mud! Every plan you've launched so far has failed horribly and frankly, I'm sick and tired of it."

"Calm down Frank. This operation hasn't been a complete letdown and we still have hundreds of soldiers left." said a pale piranha plant.

"All of whom will fall at Mario's hand, just like Petey and Gloomtail."

"…You got two seconds to get out of my sight before I rip your throat out, get me?!" yelled Bowser.

He then growled at the rebellious koopa and dug his nails into the table, scarping it backwards so some of the wood would shave out. Frank simply smirked and scoffed again before he walked away from Bowser.

* * *

Elsewhere, Bowser and his kids were also having "minor" disagreements and were currently wrestling around with each other. Some of the Koopalings were talking to each other instead of fighting each other, as opposed to Larry and Lemmy who were fighting over some stupid. In this case, it was a piece of sausage.

"GIMME IT!!"

"No, it's mine!!"

"I'm older than you; I deserve the sausage! Not you!"

Lemmy quickly snatched the link out of Larry's grasp, compelling him to jump on top of Larry and start tussling over the meat stick once again.

"I want the sausage! Give me the sausage! I never get the last piece of sausage!!!"

"I DON'T CARE!! I'll give it to you when you stop taking a (censored) in my cereal bowl on April Fool's Day!"

"Will you guys stop fighting over a stupid piece of meat like common animals?!" screamed Junior, who butted himself into the fight.

"NO!!" screamed Larry and Lemmy in unison.

It was at this time where the insignificant flesh of pork slipped out of their hands and landed right in front of Junior. The two koopas yelled loudly and rushed over to meat just in time for Junior to pick it up.

"GIMME!!"

Junior shoved the whole thing into his mouth and swallowed hard. Both Lemmy and Larry gasped dramatically as they watched their precious meat travel down Junior esophagus and plummet into his stomach juices.

"Now everybody cries." said Junior.

Larry and Lemmy were left lying on the floor, whimpering loudly.

* * *

Roy and Morton were standing inside of Roy's castle with some of Bowser's subordinates. A few of them had gasmasks on over their faces to block out the horrible stench that Roy had inflicted upon the insides. No one really could describe how horrid the smell was except for saying that it simply stank like moldy socks. Right now, Morton was standing underneath Roy, supporting him by giving him a boost up with his hands so he could place some bright green moldy Thwomps in the ceiling.

"God, what the hell is that smell???" asked Morton, just realizing that Roy's smelly feet were in close proximity to his nose.

"You know I stopped bathing last month Morton!"

"Does that explain why your feet stink so much?"

"Gee, I don't know!" said Roy sarcastically.

"You wanna know what I don't get? Why you smear a (censored)load of mold in my mouth and all over my back!" said the Thwomp they put in the ceiling.

"I thought you guys aren't supposed to talk?" asked a shady koopa.

"We have mouths! What do you think we use 'em for?!"

"So you can shout out 'ERGH!' when you slam down on the floor as you try to hit Mario with your spikes."

"Look you don't have to worry about this stench too much longer Morton. When Iggy fails and Mario gets a nasty whiff of my foul castle walls, it'll 'intrigue' him to come in my direction. That's why I asked all of you to help me build some more traps for my castle."

One of the koopas laughed in a muffled way with his gasmask over his face.

"Oh sure! Like anyone's gonna go towards stinky smells! Why do you think I'm wearing this mask ya dumbass?" asked the koopa.

Roy got upset and jumped off Morton's hands, leaving him to rub the muck and contents on the back of his shell. Roy grabbed the koopa's mask ans yanked it off so he could inhale the rancid odor. Unfortunately, Roy wasn't aware that the koopa has asthma and became nauseous when exposed to humid, rank surroundings.

"Who's the dumbass now huh?!!?"

The koopa couldn't respond because he was lying on the floor, gasping loudly and thrashing his limbs erratically. It was like the koopa was choking on the noisome atmosphere. Actually…he WAS choking on the noisome atmosphere!

"Uh, Roy? I think he's dying!" Morton warned Roy.

"Aw, c'mon! It doesn't stink that bad in here!" Roy pointed out.

"Don't you realize that this guy has a phobia of malodorous smells?" asked a green Bowser stone statue.

"What do you mean 'phobia of smells'? And since when do you stone statues talk all of a sudden?!"

"Yeah! I think this guy has Olfactophobia: fear of odors. Whenever he gets a whiff of something stinky, he freaks out and starts convulsing and throwing up on himself!"

Roy and the other thugs looked down upon the shaking koopa who was sputtering vomit from his mouth and nose, spreading it all over himself and the stone floor.

"I got it." said Roy.

Roy picked up the koopa and slowly walked over to a large vat full of highly corrosive acid, whistling to himself. He then proceeded to dunk the koopa's head into the pool of acid for a few seconds and then pulled his head back up. Well…he proceeded to pull his skull out of the pit full of acid.

"Oh look at that. He's not convulsing anymore. I solved the problem." said Roy.

"No you didn't! You just killed the guy! That's not helping at all!" Morton pointed out.

"You guys wanted me to make him stop shaking so much and by the looks of it, he's not shaking anymore." said Roy.

"But he's dead!" said a cleft.

"But he's not shaking anymore."

"But he's dead Roy." said Morton.

"But he's not shaking anymore."

"But he's dead."

"Guys, we can bitch about this until a meteor hits me in the face; I'm pretty sure I solved the problem. You're just mad cause you didn't solve the problem before I did." said Roy, smiling devilishly.

Everyone abruptly stopped talking when they looked up through a small opening in the castle and saw a weird object headed straight for Roy.

"What? What're you guys lookin' at?" asked Roy.

"What the…is-is that a meteor?!"

Roy yelped loudly when the meteor impaled him in the face and knocked his body to the ground, causing him to land on his shell. Roy grunted with effort several times over as he tried to take the intergalactic rock from his head. Realizing he couldn't get it off, he bashed his head on the mold-infested floor and cracked the meteor wide open, revealing his charred face.

"You believe us now?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

* * *

"So what's the problem today boys?" asked an exasperated Bowser.

"He stole my sausage link!" accused Lemmy.

"I did not! He took it!" said Larry, pointing to his older brother.

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"YES YOU DID!!"

And that was the cue for the hyperactive grudge-raged brothers to start attacking each other and begin tussling amongst one another like two boars butting their tusks together. The whole situation was pretty amusing in a sort of sense, fighting over a small chunk of breakfast meat. But they were brothers after all so it was something Bowser would expect. However, Bowser wasn't in the mood today, because he had his own personal problems to deal with. Bowser walked up to the two of them and inhaled deeply before he blew out a huge stream of red fiery breath. The charred brothers coughed a little before they got off of each other and brushed the soot off of themselves.

"What the hell was that for?!" asked an outraged Lemmy.

"Because you guys can't act right! God, both of you are over 20 years old now and you still act like (censored) three year olds! GROW UP!! You're fighting over some goddamn sausage!"

"What about you and your brother Dad? I see you guys fighting all the time." asked Larry.

"First of all, your Half-Uncle is an asshole; that doesn't count. Second of all, we're not the ones fighting right now so don't change the subject. Third of all…"

Bowser held his mouth open for a while because he couldn't think of what to say next to retort his sons.

"I don't get it. What's the third part?"

"Oh look at that: I got another sausage link." said Bowser, yanking a piece of sausage from his shell.

"IT'S MINE!!" said Larry and Lemmy in unison.

"You got the last piece!!"

"No I didn't! That one's mine!"

"No it's mine!"

"Mine!"

"MINE!!"

"MINE!!!"

Bowser sighed exasperatedly once again when he saw his two sons wrestling around on the floor, kicking and screaming in each other's faces. Junior casually walked by his father and took the sausage from his fingers before he tossed the whole thing into his mouth.

"Thanks Dad." said Junior, avoiding his older brothers' quarrel.

"If you can't beat 'em, let 'em beat the (censored) out of each other." sighed Bowser.

**Later…**

Trowzer was also having a conversation with his lieutenants regarding the whereabouts of Mario and his posse, only his clandestine meeting was going a lot better than Bowser's did. All of them were located in some underground chamber filled to the brim with Bowser statues that Trowzer re-painted to his liking. It looked like most of the chambers in the castle: dark, menacing, long and deep. Some of them even had humid moisture in the air or a few wet spots in the corners. But in this case, the chamber was simply dusty and filled with soot.

"Now that Mallick is dead, what are you plans now Trowzer?" asked one of his subordinates.

"I'm not taking his failure too seriously, since he never was one of my guys. He was just freelancing at the moment."

"Regardless, Mario and his guys blew his body from Dry Dry Outpost to Shiver Mountain; what do you think he'll do when we send another hitkoopa after him?" asked Zorblax.

Trowzer started to scratch his chin lightly as he pondered on what he should do to get rid of Mario and his gang.

"I would send the Koopa Bros. after him, but they're occupied at the moment with that bank job and I don't want to alert anymore KPA officers. So I've thought about a new strategy: we let the enemy fight the enemy."

Zorblax and the rest of the members of Trowzer's coalition looked dazed and confused.

"Um…what do you mean by that sir?" asked the dragon Dracolin.

"I mean we pump up the heat between Bowser and Mario. Perhaps if Bowser lost a trustworthy value due to a little 'accident' that was supposedly caused by Mario, he'd go crazy and send all of his guys against him. When the ensuing battle is over, we defeat whoever survives in the aftermath. That's when we can start taking over the Kingdom." said Trowzer, smiling.

"So how should we do that sir?"

"I already got a plan in store, but if that doesn't work then I'll let you guys summon up an idea. That's all for now."

* * *

"Wow this Trowzer guy's a lot more menacing than I thought!" said Zorblax.

"He's actually a pretty…'decent' guy once you get behind his ears." said Kirzvolitken.

"Err…what?"

The Eastern European shady koopa sighed. "Nothing."

All of a sudden, a loud flatulent noise was heard and something squishy plopped on the floor. Kirzvolitken raised an eyebrow so that it was visible above his sunglasses and he turned to look at the blue and green putrid piranha.

"What the (censored) was that?"

Zorblax looked down and noticed a heaping pile of dung was underneath his body and in between his legs…or stems.

"HA! I was right! Putrid piranhas _can _use the bathroom! Man I wish Petey was here to see this!!"

Kirzvolitken groaned and rolled his eyes, disgusted.

* * *

"Where's Bowser?" asked Trowzer.

"He's having a little chat with his sons right now." responded a koopatrol unit.

"I see…so Peach's room is available for anyone to use right now?"

"Yes, you can enter."

Trowzer scratched his head and looked left and right, making sure nobody was watching him enter the room.

"Don't tell anyone I'm in there."

"Gotcha."

The koopatrol guards side-stepped away from the door and let the burly blue-shelled koopa inside of Peach's room, where he found the princess lying on the bed.

"UGH! What do you want Bowser?! I'm trying to sleep here!"

Trowzer simply gazed at the blonde haired princess and smiled, showing his teeth. Peach got off the bed and got a closer look at Bowser…or so she thought.

"Wait a minute…you're not Bowser! …You're not going to make me rub your rancid feet are you?"

"Let's make this simple: I'll ask you a question and you're gonna answer correctly. If you don't, I'm gonna hurt you. It's that simple. Now…is there anything you can tell me that could help me in finding Mario right now?"

Peach shrugged. "I don't know--"

Trowzer slapped the princess with the back of his hand, hearing the loud smack and the sound of the princess yelp all of a sudden.

"Let's try again: Where's Mario?"

Peach sighed heavily and gave Trowzer an evil glare before saying, "Go to hell!"

Trowzer pressed his fingers against his forehead and sighed heavily.

"Take off your clothes."

"What?!"

"This can either be extremely painful for you or I can try to make it pleasant and calming. But if you fight me…neither of us will enjoy this. Now…take off your clothes."

Trowzer slowly walked over to the subdued princess…

* * *

After some time, Trowzer left Peach's room just in time to find his brother, Bowser standing next to the door.

"What were you doing in there?"

"…Let's put it this way: you're out of condoms." responded Trowzer.

The confused Bowser scratched his scalp. "I don't get it."

Trowzer chuckled. "Just don't bother Peach. She's…very tired."

"…I still don't get it."

**To be continued…**


	19. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 4

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 4 of 8. The Koopa Bros. and allies finally break into the main vault…only to face another anomaly. Elsewhere, Mario and the gang arrive at Iggy's castle and must find a way to avoid a hailstorm of Bullet Bills and Bob-ombs.

**Wear Rainbows on Your Shell (part 4)**

Green was ruthlessly bashing against the main door to the vault of the bank with a large, oversized metal hammer. At the moment, Green was more than pissed off and so agitated at all the events he and his brothers had been put through, he wasn't sure how much more he could take. Now…one might think that the dragons could simply break down the door with their strong legs or fire breath, but they all died when they entered the vault corridor. Unfortunately for Green, he didn't take into consideration the fact that there was a huge corridor filled to the brim with traps that would kill them in a matter of seconds. Imagine the scene from Resident Evil where the mercenaries went in that chamber and got cut up by those lasers; it was something like that. And so far, hundreds of the bank robbers had been slaughtered in that one corridor. All the wolves were injected with a lethal poisonous; the snakes turned cannibal and wound up eating themselves; the arantula's were skinned alive by some weird saw that deployed from the walls, and so on and so forth.

The only survivors were The Furious Putrid Piranhas, The Goomba Bros., and The Koopa Bros.; everyone else was dead or missing (yes…The Angry Boo Brothers DID die). Now, after springing nearly 50 or so traps, Green and his brothers was simply breaking whatever obstacle they came in contact with…starting with Green knocking down the vault door handle with the hammer.

"Will you guys get off your lazy asses and help me?!!?" screamed Green, sweating like a grease monkey.

"Uh, hello? Aren't you forgetting we got no hands???"

"Your head's hard enough to break a diamond; use that rock-hard power on the door!"

"Seriously? Our skulls can crack diamonds?"

"Yeah! Check this out!" said Black.

Black crept behind one of the Goomba Bros. and kicked him really hard in the backside, sending his body flying across the corridor. When the Goomba Bros. made contact with the door, his whole body was flattened like a pancake and the only thing anyone could see were his shoes. The three remaining Goomba Bros. screamed.

"…Think that was a little too hard Black." whispered Red.

Meanwhile, Yellow was resting against the wall, whimpering and shivering like crazy, sweating harder than Green was. And he wasn't even working!

"Hey, what's wrong with you Yellow?" asked Black.

"I-I told you not to bring me here…"

"Why?"

Yellow sighed heavily twice before he began to calm down. "Someone told me to do something…bad. Something that may make Trowzer mad if it follows through."

Yellow felt vomit travel up his throat and quickly swallowed hard before the contents shot out his mouth again. For all he knew, there was a vomit-seeking trap in the floor that would activate a series of spikes.

"Awww…poor Yellow!" teased Black, nudging Yellow on the shoulder.

"Black I'm serious! We need to leave now!"

"You wanna know what always makes me feel better?"

Yellow sighed. "What Black?"

"A good whiff of my shoe! Go on, take a whiff…" said Black, smiling slyly.

Everyone around the room was groaning and holding their noses, grossed out by the foul odor emitting from the inside of Black's shoe. Like they previously mentioned, Black hadn't washed his socks in the past four years and the smell didn't just magically go away in the time interval of the bank robbery.

"But I already smelled your shoe earlier today! Why do _I _smell your stinky shoe again?!" whined Black.

"I'll think up a reason when you jam your nose inside! Now sniff it!"

"No!"

"Sniff it!"

"No!"

"Sniff the (censored) shoe Yellow!!"

Black began to laugh and started chasing after Yellow in the corridor, holding his shoe in one hand and trying to stuff it into Yellow's nostrils.

"Shouldn't you guys help your brother out?"

"Nah, this happens all the time. He'll just pass out or throw up and we'll just laugh our asses off." said Red.

Black tackled Yellow to the ground and dunked his head deep into his shoe, forcing him to smell the sweat that had dripped into the boot from his sock. Even though Yellow continued to thrash around, it was no use. Black suddenly sat on Yellow's shell to make sure he didn't get up, pinning him to the ground.

"So how's that smell Yellow? You feel any better?"

Yellow responded by vomiting so much that the residue began to splash out the boot and onto the floor. Yellow was drowning in his own vomit.

"Vomiting isn't gonna make the stench go away. I found that out the hard way when Red did this to me."

"Oh yeah! I remember that one time you threw up so much you passed out!" laughed Red.

"Then you took Black to the doctor and he said he suffered major cranial damage and his IQ went down below 100." added Green.

Black scratched his scalp and said, "You think that's why I'm so stupid?"

"GEE WHAT DO YOU THINK!!!??!"

* * *

After another 30 minutes or so, Green finally smashed off the lock on the door and, with the help of his brothers, opened the large circular titanium door and got a look inside, amazed by all the contents they saw. There were bags upon bags filled to the brim with coins and on the top of the metal shelves containing the money bags, were treasure chests filled with not only gold coins, but gold bars and several jewels. Their work was done and the Koopa Bros. (along with the Goomba Bros. and The Furious Putrid Piranhas) had successfully broken into Trowzer's ancient vault. They were about to get more money than they ever dreamed of…

"All right!! Payday bitches!" yelled Black, running to the door.

"No! Wait--" said Green, trying to stop his brother.

But as Black began to run into the vault, an invisible laser appeared out of nowhere and zapped him on the arm, forcing him to jolt backwards and yell out loud.

"What the hell was that?!!" screamed Black.

"Lasers. Trowzer must've had them installed to make sure any intruder would end up getting severed in half when they found all the cash."

"Hmm…maybe I should try going backwards…" anticipated Black.

So Black decided to walk into the vault…backwards. He thought the laser would deactivate because he figured that the lasers must have a camera panned at the door. If the camera controlling the lasers didn't see an intruder, perhaps it'd let him through. But…Black still got zapped on his backside and hollered, just before he jumped to the floor and started rubbing his red, steaming burnt tail.

"OW, MY ASS!!!" moaned Black.

"That's what she said." chuckled a Goomba Bros.

"Shut up! Do you know how painful this is?!"

"That's what she said!"

"BURN!" shouted a putrid piranha.

"Stay outta this!"

"That's what she said!" laughed a putrid piranha.

"Okay, subject change. If I can find the camera hidden within the vault, then perhaps we'll be able to get inside without any folly."

"…That's what she said." said a Goomba Bros.

Green sighed heavily and everyone else in the room began to howl with laughter.

"That's not what I meant!"

"That's what she said!"

"BURN!"

Green waited a while before saying anything, looking at the group with a bored expression on his face. Then, he suddenly said,

"Ass."

"That's what she said!"

"Can I say anything without you guys referring the 'She said' routine?! God, you guys are so asinine!!"

"…That's what she _didn't _say." whispered a putrid piranha.

"Yeah, you're right. I doubt Green would have all that much sex with chicks anyways." said Red.

"How would you know about Green's sex life???" asked a Goomba Bros.

"Uh…because I--we…see the thing--THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

Everyone burst out laughing once again, leading to Green to stare at his comrades in the same tone as before.

"You guys are so (censored) retarded…" mumbled Green.

"That's what _he _said!" shouted Black.

"NO! NO! NO!" shouted Red, bonking his younger brother on his scalp three times as he shouted "no".

"What'd I say?"

"FAIL BLACK! FAIL! You (censored) up the joke Black. You-you (censored) it up! The fact that you would even--why?! Why would you say that?!!?"

"All I said--!"

"No you FAIL Black! You FAAAAIIILL!! You (censored) up the best joke in the world! From now on, I can never make 'She said' jokes without being reminded of how gay you are!"

"(Censored) you Red! You were the one who was kissin' me in the sewer and you were the one who was on top of me that other day!"

"BURN!!" shouted a putrid piranha.

Red, unable to find a way to make a comeback to what Black said, merely gulped loudly with an odd expression on his face.

"Yeah, ain't got jack (censored) to say now, do ya?"

"Hey guys! I deactivated the laser!" announced Green.

"Good. Now get your ass in that vault and go get the cash!"

"…That's what she said." snickered Black.

"GO STEAL THE MONEY NOW!!!" demanded Red.

Black sighed and ran into the vault, ransacking the whole thing shortly before the remaining bank robbers began to join him.

"I can't believe we actually pulled this off!" said a putrid piranha.

"Yeah, maybe you guys can use the money to go buy a pack of breath mints!" laughed a Goomba Bros.

"Watch it…" warns the green putrid piranha.

Suddenly, the gang heard a tremendous explosion that nearly threw them off their feet, knocking some of the money bags off their shelves.

"What the hell was that?!" asked a Goomba Bros.

Yellow began to perspire again and gulped so hard Green saw a lump travel down his throat. The KPA had begun their assault on the bank and was going to rendezvous with Yellow and arrest his brothers. They were going to expose him and possibly make him a target for Trowzer.

The next several minutes meant life or death for Yellow…

* * *

Mario and the gang were gazing at Iggy's Castle…although they were completely charred and black. While traversing through the perplexing forest, they were ambushed by a whole barrage of bullet bills and bob-ombs, courtesy of this castle's bomb launching mechanisms. This castle was large and rectangular, coated with jet black bricks and a large yellow door. It was similar to the fortress, but a whole lot taller and more dangerous.

"What did I say Blaze?!" shouted Luigi.

"You said not to blow your flame breath on the bombs…"

"I said not to blow your flame breath on the bombs and whatdaya do???"

Blaze sighed heavily. "Blew my flame breath on the bombs."

"Which blew up in our faces!" added Kooper.

"Just be glad he guided us the way to this castle...and that those bullet bills didn't kill us." said Mario.

"I suppose that's true, but we all lost half our health in that one blast. We're gonna need to replenish it unless you wanna invade this castle with our energy at half capacity."

"Lucky for you guys I always carry a bowl of spicy soup with me!" said Blaze, yanking several hot bowls of soup from his underbelly. Mario, Kooper, Geno, and Luigi cocked an eyebrow.

"So you just pull things from that white spot on your belly?" asked Mario.

"Yep."

"You sewed a pocket to yourself?"

"Nope."

"…So you just magically…pull stuff out of your stomach."

"Sure, let's go with that."

After the awkward belly issue, Mario and his partner slurped the hot soup up quickly until the bowls had been licked clean and their health had been replenished. They wiped the broth off their lips and turned around to look at the castle again.

"Okay! Let's do this!"

"Can I go this time?"

"No! You know that Yoshis can't enter castles!" said Luigi.

"They could in Yoshi's Story!"

"That doesn't apply to this current situation; when we travel inside a magical book, then you can go in castles. Until then, you can just sit on your ass and enjoy yourself for now."

Blaze sighed exasperatedly and sat next to a bush, latching his tongue onto the red and pink apples and swallowing them whole. Mario, Geno, Luigi, and Kooper walked inside the castle without him. Inside, the castle was nowhere near as complex as Iggy's Armory, but the whole place reeked of gunpowder and explosions. Not exactly the best smell in the world, but it was nowhere near as bad as Roy's castle. The floors, like the Armory, were blue ground tiles and the ceiling was composed of navy stone block walls. Other than that, nothing else was in the background but darkness.

"Wow! Looks like we can just walk right up to the--WHOA!!" shouted Kooper, throwing himself to the ground.

A bombshell bill whizzed across his face and almost incinerated him instantly.

"What the hell was that?! AAH!!!"

Kooper recoiled into his shell and a bullet bill made contact with it, blowing up instantly and charring his shell ever more. Kooper got out of his shell and began to breathe erratically and quickly.

"More bill blasters and B. bill blasters?! Geez, what's up with Iggy and explosives?!" asked Luigi.

The team heard loud ticking and turned around to see a Bulky Bob-omb standing right next to them, ready to blow itself up. They yelped and took cover behind a column while Kooper hid in his shell once again, avoiding the tremendous explosions that resulted afterwards. Kooper sprinted behind the column with Mario and the gang and they began to contrive a plan in order to get past the explosive enemies.

"Pop quiz: There are hundreds of bob-ombs and bullet bills ready to blow us to bits. What do we do?" asked Kooper.

"I for one think we should try to blow up all the bob-ombs at a distance, then focus on the bullet bills and their blasters afterwards. Eventually, those cannons should run out of ammo." said Geno.

"Are you sure? Everytime we face bill blasters they never stop shooting out bullets until we destroy the cannon itself. 'Sides, what if this castle has an infinite supply of bob-ombs too?" asked Mario.

"Just piss 'em off and they'll blow themselves up. Watch."

Geno converted his hands into cannons and shot out a short burst of stars at a bob-omb soldier. The bob-omb's face turned into an evil glare and it ignited itself, slowly walking towards the enchanted doll. Geno fired another burst of stars and the bob-omb exploded into nothing but dust and ash.

"See?"

"That's great an' all, but how to we get to the boss door without taking damage?" asked Luigi.

"We can't make it without taking some form of damage, but if you follow my advice, you shouldn't be mortally wounded."

"Okay. 1…2…"

"Just go already!" yelled Kooper, shoving Luigi on the floor.

Luigi groaned when a bob-omb ran into his face and damaged him, but Luigi merely kicked it and, like Geno predicted, made it angry. Before it did any damage to him, Luigi shot a green fireball at the spherical sentient explosive and it blew up. After that, Mario, Geno, Luigi, and Kooper started sprinting down the corridor, jumping and hopping over the bob-ombs and bombshell and bullet bills they saw. Kooper had it the easiest out of everyone though. If he came into contact with any bob-omb, he hid in his shell and shot himself at the explosive, blowing it up. And if he was unable to dodge the bullet and bombshell bills, he simply hid in his shell until it blew itself up on his barrier. But Kooper was slowly beginning to think his shell would eventually crumble into dust one day from too much damage.

Actually, the Mario Bros. weren't doing too badly either since they had their own fire wielding skills with them. Whenever a bulky bob-omb or a bob-ulk showed up, they chucked a fireball at it, ran far away, and took shelter behind a column to avoid getting harmed in the ensuing explosions. Of course, they weren't so great when it came to the bullet and bombshell bills. Mario couldn't jump as high as his brother so he had to whack and defeat his enemies in one blow or else they'd slam into him. Luigi, despite the fact he managed to jump over them, would always end up getting whacked in the head right when he launched off the ground. But other than that, they were doing okay so far.

Geno was also doing well despite the fact his body was more fragile than the others'. Being a doll and whatnot, it would seem simple to tear Geno apart. But the enemy wasn't smart enough to get past his defensive attacks and his death-defying Geno Whirl. Geno was a star spirit anyways so even if his body died, he could just take command of another life form, such as another bob-omb. Geno shots nearly 20 stars at a bob-ulk and took cover, just before grabbing a bombshell shell bill from behind and throwing it at another bombshell bill, blowing them both up.

"HEY! No one ever told us you could hold bombshell bills!" said Luigi.

"That's great; you just learned something new today. Want a cookie?"

"Damn right I want a cookie!"

So from that point on, the team continued to blow up bob-ombs and bullet and bombshell bills until they reached the cannons that were firing the bothersome enemies.

"I got this one!" said Mario, running up to a B. bill blaster.

Mario took out his hammer and, using all his strength, pounded his mallet on the cannon and broke its defense power, making it extremely vulnerable. But the cannon reacted by shooting two bombshell bills in his face and hurling him into a pillar. Kooper hid in his shell once again and slammed himself into the weak cannon, destroying it for good. Now there was only another B. bill blaster and a normal bill blaster. Both of them shot out two bullets simultaneously and they made contact with Kooper's nose and Luigi's back. Both of them shouted loudly and fell to the floor, heavily wounded.

"GENO WHIRL!!" said Geno, performing his infamous special move.

The hot orange disk swirled its way through the bill blaster and incinerated the cannon instantly; its ashes fluttered away in the breeze. With only one cannon left, things were looking up for Mario's crew. But for some reason, the B. bill blaster went crazy, turned red, and started shooting fiery red Flame Bills from an upgraded Flame Bill Blaster.

"WHOA! How the hell did that happen?" asked Kooper, recovering from his burn.

But before anyone could answer, the Flame Bill Blaster started shooting Flame Bills all around the room, setting it on fire in the process. In fact, the whole castle was falling to pieces and the flames were only growing more and more each second, emitting smoke that begun to smother the protagonists.

"It must be a fail safe! Whoever is through that door must've activated a self-destructing sequence for the cannon so he can make a cover for his escape!"

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go get him!" said Mario.

The team ran and coughed their way to the big red boos door and went inside, entering a creepy looking cavern with little lights…kind of like Gloomtail's chamber.

"So where's this big, badass boss Iggy has in place?" asked Kooper.

"RIGHT HERE!!" yelled a mysterious voice.

Everyone turned around to see a blue koopa that looked like a samurai charging towards them…with dual beam swords in his hands…

**To be continued…**


	20. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 5

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 5 of 8. Doopliss participates in an act of espionage to gain Intel…but the results don't appeal to his olfactory sense. The Koopa Bros. bust out of the bank whilst the KPA is hot on their trail, forcing Yellow to make a mind-boggling decision, and Mario and the gang take on Iggy's general.

**Wear Rainbows on Your Shell (part 5)**

In the midst of The Evil Koopa League, Doopliss was waltzing around the castle bored out of his mind. There was simply nothing he could do that interested him and no matter how many times he asked, Bowser never had an assignment for him. It was like Bowser appointed him only if he was gonna yell at him or use him as a scapegoat in various types of situations. It was like no one needed the almighty Doopliss anymore… The unknown creature covered with a black sheet sighed dejectedly and sat down on a bench, depressed.

"I am soooooo bored…so, so very bored. Man, I wish I could've air-lifted my castle here so I can continue turning people into pigs! It was so funny seeing those emo creatures wallow in the mud after they transformed into filthy swine…until Slick came along and beat the crap outta me."

Doopliss sighed once again and began to get comfortable on the bench, beginning to fall asleep. At least until he heard minor bickering in the distance and saw Kammy Koopa and a Red Magikoopa walking through the hallways talking amongst another. The Red Magikoopa was wearing a black robe, but he painted his hook bill red to distinguish himself. The same thing went for the other Magikoopas; the white ones had white hook bills, the green ones green hook bills, the yellow ones…well, they just left their nose the same. And the normal Magikoopas who wore blue robes painted their hook bills blue.

"I already told you, King Bowser doesn't want to spare anyone for a job this risky!"

"The guy has been horning in on our situations ever since he got here! He obviously doesn't like Bowser and he has no respect for any of his possessions! Or did you forget that he stuck his (censored) in Princess Peach's ass?"

"No we haven't forgotten that! But aside from that, Bowser still doesn't know that Trowzer is plotting behind his back."

"Are you serious? Is she serious?"

"Even if Bowser did believe his brother was out to get him, there's no one here who could fully disguise his or herself to look like one of Trowzer's men."

"I could do that. I'd love to go spying!"

"Shut up Doopliss; this doesn't involve you!"

The Red Magikoopa turned back to Kammy.

"Maybe I should go reconsider this plan back to King Bowser myself!"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"…Fine." added Doopliss.

So the Red Magikoopa (with Doopliss tagging along) marched through the castle and barged into King Bowser's room.

"Kammy told me about the spy idea and how you rejected it. Why?"

"There's no one here who could pose as that dark koopatrol long enough for us to find out anything about Trowzer before he discovered us! Unless you want to point out someone who looks _exactly _like him, I suggest we try and come up with another plan!"

"Hey, can I do it?" asked Doopliss.

"You already know we can't pick up his phone records unless we bug his chambers or plant nano-cameras within the walls!" retorted the Magikoopa.

"Hello?"

"That's stupid Darrik! How's a cockroach gonna help us find out who he's talking to on his cellphones?"

"Hello?"

Darrik sighed exasperatedly. "No, you dilettante! A miniature microphone we can use to listen in on Trowzer! Y'know, like we plant the bug in his room and have another person listen on the other end without anyone being seen!"

"Hello!"

"Like I said Darrik, it's too risky."

Darrik scoffed. "What's Trowzer gonna do? If it's anything worse than what you do, I shouldn't be worried."

"What do I do that's so horrible? I mean, I did dump my jar of toenails in your underwear drawer, but--"

"Hey, I'm Bowser! I'm a giant fat ass koopa with a big shell who doesn't give a (censored) about people who are trying to help me! Instead of listening to them, I'm gonna sit on my ass and clip my stinky toenails and make Doopliss clean it up!!" said Doopliss, disguised as Bowser.

Bowser and Darrik looked at _Bowser_ and were deeply shocked at what they saw, looking at a living, breathing duplicate who looked, sounded…even smelled like the real Bowser.

"Whoa! When the hell did I get here?" asked Bowser.

"That's not you King Bowser!"

"…I knew that. I was testing you!"

"Sure you were."

"Shut up! I'm not stew-pid!"

"So, who are you again?" asked Darrik.

Doopliss dissolved back into his original form and revealed himself to Darrik and Bowser.

"I'm Doopliss!"

"Yeah…don't know you." said Bowser.

"What? You don't remember me?"

"Nope."

Doopliss sighed. "The guy who turned those villagers into pigs?"

"Still don't know you."

"The duplighost who can change into ANYBODY he chooses by copying their DNA structure?"

"Still not ringing any bells."

Doopliss grumbled and sighed again. "Freak-In-The-Sheet?"

"Oh that guy! Now I remember you!"

"Yes. Anyways, after what you've seen, I believe I can be of great asset to this spy plan."

"I suppose you could work. Since you can take the form of anyone you choose, you can easily slide into Trowzer's regime and find Intel."

"So I get to help out?!" said an excited Doopliss.

"Not if you don't shut up and get out of my sight! NOW GO!!" roared Bowser, shoving Doopliss out of his room.

"…Who's that guy again?"

* * *

About 20 minutes later, Doopliss was inside the resting chambers of Trowzer's castle, trying to be as surreptitious as possible, ducking and weaving behind every corner. He had to avoid getting spotted by two dark koopatrol units and even had to hide from Trowzer himself. But other than those three encounters, he got into the chamber without any delay. Now all he had to do was clone himself as one of Trowzer's elite guards. Doopliss tip-toed over a bunch of sleeping koopas and clefts and found a rare blue koopatrol guard snoring away on his bed with a large trail of drool seeping through his mouth.

"This guy seems important." whispered Doopliss, approaching his bed.

Doopliss shifted forward twice before he cackled and his eyes twinkled. Then this rectangular magenta colored prism lowered itself down to the koopatrol unit and began to hum quietly a few times before it closed up and returned to Doopliss. Doopliss exploded into a puff of purple gas and when the smoke cleared, he looked like the blue koopatrol.

"Whoa, this guy has a lotta muscle in him! Wonder how much he benches?" muttered Doopliss.

"Whuh?" said the koopatrol, still in a trance.

Doopliss ducked near the bed as the koopatrol woke up and looked left and right around the chamber. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he yawned and plummeted into his pillow, catching more Zs. Doopliss quickly scurried out the room.

"Whew! That was a close call!" said Doopliss, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

After a while, Doopliss heard loud footsteps pounding on the floor and turned around to see Trowzer walking towards him.

"Ilnyash! Get your lazy ass over here!" commanded the giant blue shelled koopa.

(Ilnyash? What kind of name is that for a koopa? Is this guy from the Fahr Outpost?) thought Doopliss.

Doopliss rushed over to the hefty and bulky koopa and responded to him.

"Yes sir! What do you require of Il-dash…I mean Ilnyash?" Doopliss quickly corrected himself.

Trowzer raised an eyebrow. "Since when were you so eager to accept your contracts?"

Doopliss changed his attitude. "I just wanna get this over with so I can go back to sleep…" he said, in a drowsy tone.

"I got this little problem I'd like you to solve for me. Lately, I've been suspicious of Bowser and am starting to think he's bugged my room--"

(God, would it kill you to take a breath mint?! Your breath stinks worse than Bowser's does!) thought Doopliss in his mind.

He actually got near close to saying it out loud, but he held his mouth shut and decided to deal with Trowzer's halitosis for now.

"--so I need you to check my room for any bugs."

"Bugs? Like beetles?"

"No you dildo--Microphones! Check the room or microphones!"

"Might as well check for breath mints while I'm at it…" mumbled Doopliss.

Trowzer snorted loudly and glared at Doopliss.

"I'm sorry; I didn't catch that. You got something to say to Ilnyash?" said Trowzer, getting in Doopliss's face.

(Yeah! Go brush your teeth--your breath is killing me!)

"…Nope. Just uh…just thinkin' out loud."

"Good. Now go check for bugs!" said Trowzer, walking away.

When Trowzer got a good distance away from Doopliss, Doopliss exhaled loudly and started plugging his nose.

"Christ, did you gargle with the waste from the septic tank this morning?! PU!"

* * *

Doopliss entered Trowzer's main working office and began to scan the place for any bugs Bowser may have placed, but he knew he wasn't going to find any. Bowser didn't even know what a bug was! So while Doopliss was sent to get rid of bugs, he decided to do the exact opposite and begun placing bugs around his office.

"Let's see, where would be the last place for Trowzer to look for any bugs?" wonders Doopliss.

He snapped his fingers and looked under one of his chairs and placed a sticky nano-camera underneath it. He'd just have to hope no one would accidentally smash the camera. Then he saw a book case with books that were withering away and collecting dust. Doopliss placed a camera in between two books and slid them back into place.

"All right, Bowser's gonna wanna see what Trowzer's doing, so maybe I should hide a camera in the corner of the ceiling…" said Doopliss to himself.

So Doopliss climbed up a small ladder and stuck the camera to the ceiling like it was a sticker, making sure it was looking directly at Trowzer's chair and had a full view of the room.

"That should be enough for now. Time for me to grab a snack!"

But as Doopliss went into the breaker room to get a snack, he was surprised to find Trowzer sitting there ravenously eating a plate of rotten eggs with his deluxe feast, had frozen fries and a hot shroom on the side, and was guzzling down a super soda. At least Bowser and Trowzer shared something else besides halitosis: Eating habits.

"How's it goin' Trowzer?"

Trowzer didn't respond to Doopliss. All he did was scarf a bunch of fries down his throat before taking a bite out of his deluxe feast.

"I'm eating…" he retorted.

"Awesome."

"What do you want Ilnyash?"

"I was just wondering--"

Doopliss was interrupted when Trowzer belched loudly, expelling his foul breath around the room. He felt like covering his nose again, but Trowzer was eating at the moment and he might get angry and swallow him whole.

"Sorry."

"…I was wondering why you think Bowser has bugs set inside your room."

Trowzer drank half the can of super soda in one gulp and swallowed hard, before tossing a few rotten eggs in his mouth.

"Just a precaution Ilnyash. My brother can be a kleptomaniac at times; you never know…"

"Yes, kleptomaniac…I know what that means."

Trowzer continued to eat until he only had a few more fries and a small sip of soda left. He paused for a moment, then took out one of his cellphones. He tossed the machine into the air and caught it inside his mouth, swallowing it in one gulp. Doopliss saw this act, which began to raise his suspicion of Trowzer. Doopliss quickly snuck out the room and made a private phone call to Darrik.

"You were right Darrik. I think Trowzer does have something to do with this."

"Why, what'd you find?"

"He took out a cellphone and then swallowed it whole like it was a piece of meat. I wasn't able to find out what was on it, but it must be important if he risked devouring the whole damn thing."

"So get it back! We need that information Doopliss!"

Doopliss made a taunting laugh. "I'm not going ANYWHERE near that guy's dirty maw!"

"That's not what I was talking about…"

"I don't follow."

"…There's another hole where things will come out of…"

"I still don't get you."

"You're gonna have to wait until he uses the bathroom and collect it…from the toilet…"

"Heh Heh! I'm sorry; it sounded like you just told me to sift through koopa (censored)."

"There's no other way to get that phone back Doopliss! Not unless you want to cut open his stomach!"

Doopliss sighed heavily. "You can't be serious…"

* * *

Back at the bank, things were not looking good for the remaining robbers. The last three Goomba Bros. were now dead, lying in a pool of their own blood with lifeless eyes open. Two of the Furious Putrid Piranhas had been shot to pieces and were now nothing besides rotten plant leaves. Surprisingly, the KPA hadn't caught up to any of the Koopa Bros. yet, who were now in the basement of the bank setting the explosives with the last two putrid piranhas.

"Hurry the (censored) up! I can hear them running down the halls!" warned Black.

It was only four mercenary KPA agents, but that was plenty to take out these robbers. Besides the Koopa Bros., no one else was armed. All the KPA agents had to do was stay away from The Furious Putrid Piranhas so they wouldn't inhale their funky breath and they'd be fine. The Goomba Bros. were surprisingly easy to kill, being goombas an all.

"Stop hasslin' me! You try placing 40 kilos of TNT and gunpowder from Bob-ulks all at once!" said Red, rapidly setting the explosives.

"(Censored) this! We're leaving! Meet up with us at the back of the bank!" said The Furious Putrid Piranhas, rushing out the basement.

About a minute later, The Koopa Bros. stopped placing the explosives and heard faint shouting in the distance. Then they heard loud exhaling and someone groan loudly, shortly before hearing a burst of gunshots. The Koopa Bros. began to panic even more and even decided to ditch dumping some of the gunpowder, since they didn't need all of it.

"All right, all right! That's all of it! Get the cash; get the gold and let's get the (censored) outta here!" said Red.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!"

"What, Green?!"

"Where's Yellow?"

* * *

The final putrid piranha was gunned down by the KPA mercenary that captured Yellow. His team began to travel through the bank, looking for Yellow and his brothers.

"He did say he was gonna be here, right?" asked the agent.

"What if he warned Trowzer and they sent him packing to Keelhaul Key?"

"Trust me; a guy like Yellow is easy to break. He'll show up." said the leader of the KPA mercenaries.

All of a sudden, the door next to the team opened up and Yellow revealed himself. Immediately after he was spotted, one of the agents grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the wall, pointing his MP5K at him.

"It's me guys! I came here…just like you said!" said Yellow, hoarsely.

"Calm down, he's on our side." said the leader.

The mercenary let go of Yellow's throat and he began to cough violently.

"Did you disarm the bombs yet?"

"No, I still have to do that."

"Well hurry up. We already had to start the assault and the longer we stay here, the more Trowzer's gonna think this was an inside job."

Yellow sighed and began to hold his forehead, sweating like crazy.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

"If I do this…will I be safe? I-I won't go to jail and no one gets hurt, right?"

"No jail time."

"And-and Trowzer won't find out I helped you guys?"

"You'll be put in Witness Protection along with your brothers."

"But how will we see our parents?! I heard what happens to people in the WPP! They can never see anyone they knew about in the past and have to change their name!"

"Well, if you think you can take on Trowzer yourself--"

Yellow yelped. "Okay, okay! I'll go disarm the explosives. Just give me five minutes and then you can ransack through Trowzer's bank accounts alright?"

"We'll be waiting…" warned the leader.

Yellow ran down to the basement of the bank and came into contact with the TNT, noticing a large detonator stuck right in front of the arsenal. Yellow sighed heavily and walked over to the detonator, looking for the triggering antenna. Should that be removed, the explosives would be inoperable.

"I can't believe I'm doing this…"

"HEY YELLOW! Where the hell are you?! We gotta go!"

Yellow yanked the antenna out and split it in half with his hook bill, throwing the remains down a crack in a floor. And it was just in time too, because Black found Yellow kneeling next to the explosives.

"Hey Black--"

"Let's go! NOW!"

Black grabbed Yellow by the arm and dragged him out of the bank.

* * *

The Koopa Bros. were crouching behind a large field of bushes overlooking the bank. They were panting and cradling their sacks of money and treasures on their backs when Black took out the remote that would activate the explosives and held it in his hand.

"All right, moment of truth boys! Let's do this!" said Red.

Black pounded his fist on the big red button on the remote and waited for the bombs to go off. However, nothing happened.

"Uh, where's the kaboom Black?"

He pressed the button several more times.

"I-I-I thought the bombs--"

"You stupid son-of-a-bitch! You screwed up again!!" chastised Red.

"Oh darn, guess we can't blow up the building." said Yellow, in a somewhat jolly tone.

"Cool your jets guys. I brought a spare."

"What?"

"WHAT!!" screamed Yellow.

"Yeah, I placed a few charges of C-4 in case the triggering mechanism on the TNT barrels failed. Lucky us huh?"

Green and Red chuckled. "You finally did something smart for once."

"I wonder what my socks taste like…" said Black, looking down at his shoes.

"Please don't ruin it." said Green.

"Um, maybe we should reconsider--"

"Nope."

Black pressed down on the remote, just as the KPA mercs entered the archive room full of Trowzer's computer files.

"Okay men. Let's get this done so we can finally nail this bastard." said the KPA leader.

And that's when the bank blew up. It wasn't just one giant explosion. It was more of small, multiple explosions that began one after another. First the basement blew, which blew a hole in the lobby wall. Then the roof blew up almost instantly, blasting chucks of concrete and wood everywhere. Two explosions went off simultaneously and half the bank began to crumble to the ground and the boilers were blown to bits, which sparked a huge fire. The whole thing ended when a tremendous explosion blasted away the walls and set everything on fire, dousing everything in a fiery inferno. There was no way the KPA agents survived.

"YYEEEEEEESSSS!!! THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!" hollered Red.

"Can we do that again? I wanna blow more (censored) up!" asked Black.

"Nah, we gotta get back to Trowzer. Maybe we can blow something up tomorrow."

Red, Green, and Black rushed away into the forest and disappeared, while Yellow was staring at the inescapable fire with dread in his eyes.

"Yo Yellow! C'mon let's go!"

Yellow came back to reality and turned around to run with his brothers. But at this rate, there was nothing more Yellow could do. He was gonna have to leave the kingdom…and fast.

* * *

Mario yelped when he was nearly decapitated by the samurai koopa, ducking under his beam sword at lightning speed. Geno hopped over a rock and fired stars at the koopa in dramatic slow-motion, like something from The Matrix. The koopa grunted a couple times and was thrown backwards, but he still was in a defensive position. After getting hit, Kooper retracted into his shell and zoomed over to the samurai, tripping him when he hit him with his shell. Luigi and Mario teamed up and fired a hailstorm of fireballs at the samurai, all of which were sliced to bits by his beam swords. The samurai yelled ferociously and rushed over to the Italian brothers once again, spinning his swords like crazy.

"We could seriously use one of your Geno Whirl's right now!" yelled Luigi.

"I'm out of FP!"

"Damnit Kooper I told you not to eat that Shroom Cake!"

"Hey, you were the one who ate those blueberries!"

Their bantering quickly ceased when the samurai koopa nearly cut Kooper's hand off and he started twirling his sword at him wildly, ignoring any obstacle that got in his way. Kooper occasionally managed to kick the samurai in the face, but other than that, he was overpowered. Kooper tripped over a tiny rock and was left helpless as the samurai jumped into the air with his swords aligned like a pair of scissors. He was about to snip Kooper's head off.

"NO!" yelled Luigi, who jump-kicked the samurai into a pile of rocks.

After the samurai shook the dirt off his head and jabbered to himself, Geno came in and took the mask off the samurai's head, revealing the culprit. Only, it wasn't Iggy like they planned it would be.

"Wait a second, where's Iggy? Shouldn't he be here at his own castle?" asked Mario.

"He's not here. He's on his airship which is refueling at the Payday Waystation."

"What?! It'll take us forever to get down there!"

"Who said you were getting there? You really think you're gonna survive me?!" said the samurai.

The samurai continued with his relentless attacks on Mario, Geno, Luigi, and Kooper, swinging his swords like a madkoopa. The only problem was that he was swinging his swords so much that he wound up spinning in a circle and ended up getting dizzy. Mario took out his ultra hammer and whacked the samurai on the head, then Luigi jump-kicked him over to Kooper, who slammed his shell into his stomach. Finally, Geno fired a burst of stars at the samurai and knocked him through a series of stalagmites.

"Hey! I know what to do now! Kooper! Perform your Dizzy Shell move when I say now!" yelled Mario.

"What?"

"NOW!"

Kooper retracted into his shell and spun himself around until he created a tiny cyclone in front of the attacking samurai. The cyclone dazed the samurai and he was vulnerable to attack. Mario whacked him with the hammer again, Luigi jump-kicked him, Kooper slammed in his stomach, and Geno fired more stars at his body. Once again, the samurai jabbered while shaking his head (knocking some of the rocks out of his ears) and charged at the group once again. Like the last two times, Kooper did his Dizzy Shell move, Mario whacked him with the hammer, Luigi jump-kicked him, Kooper slammed into his torso, and Geno fired star bursts at him.

"THAT'S IT!!" cried the samurai.

The samurai, in a fit of rage, chucked one of his swords at Kooper, who quickly hid inside his shell. Mario and Luigi were sliced across the chest and almost suffered a fatal wound. Geno was also severely damaged when the samurai kicked him in the chest and stabbed him where his kidney would be. Just as the samurai was about to finish Geno off, Kooper leaped into action with the other beam sword and stopped him just in time. Now it was just Kooper and the samurai, whose swords were crackling and shooting out bits of electric bolts as they rubbed against each other. The samurai was the one who was edging his sword closer to Kooper, but Kooper still wasn't going to back down.

"Looks like your time's up!" muttered the samurai.

Kooper abruptly kicked the samurai in the stomach and bit down on his hook bill like a snapping turtle, slowly tearing it off.

"EEEEERRRRYYYAARRRGGHH!!!" screamed the samurai, as his nose was ripped off.

Kooper immediately decapitated the samurai and kicked his body over, sighing with relief now that he was dead. Mario and the others slowly got up off the ground and walked over to Kooper.

"Damn Kooper. Ever heard of the word 'overkill'?" asked Mario.

"You're welcome!" said Kooper, peeved off that they didn't instantly say "Thank you."

"So what do we do now? We can't possibly get to Payday Waystaion in the amount of time we have left!" said Luigi.

"Just…just give me some time! I'll think of something!" said Mario.

* * *

About six hours after Doopliss's undercover work, he was now surveying Trowzer's movements. He saw Trowzer groan and hold his stomach, then walked into one of the main bathrooms. Doopliss, still doppelganged as Ilnyash, followed him inside and hid in one of the stalls. No one was inside at the moment, except for another koopatrol guard who just finished washing his hands and was leaving. It was only Trowzer and Doopliss now. Doopliss heard Trowzer's loud footsteps and a door open and close. He put his ear to the side of the stall and looked underneath to see Trowzer standing next to the toilet. He then sat down and sighed heavily, getting comfortable on the toilet.

"Just go already so I can get the damn cellphone." whispered Doopliss.

Well, Doopliss's wish came true, because Trowzer began to release a nasty trail of flatulence as he grunted. Doopliss held his nose, but continued to press his ear against the wall to hear anything else. That's when Trowzer grunted really hard and Doopliss heard several splashes next to him. He was nearly gagging on the smell of his crap.

"I gotta stop eating those hot shrooms." mumbled Trowzer.

Trowzer grunted with sharp pain and dumped a whole load of farts and poop into the toilet, getting to the point where Doopliss heard splashes that were so loud that they got out the toilet and made the floor wet. Doopliss could only imagine how much waste was in the adjacent toilet…

"WHEW!! That's feels better." said Trowzer, letting loose another fart.

Trowzer got off the toilet and flushed it…or tried to anyways. But Doopliss screwed up the toilets in the bathroom so they wouldn't flush.

"(Censored) it. I'll just get Ilnyash to clean that up in the morning." said Trowzer, walking out the bathroom.

"Wow, and I thought Bowser was the stinky relative in the family. He didn't even wash his hands!" said Doopliss.

Doopliss changed back into his original form and entered Trowzer's stall, retching so much he almost vomited on the floor.

"Oh my God…" he mumbled under breath.

There was enough excrement in the toilet bowl to fill a fish tank and the smell alone could grind the paint off the ceiling or kill a gold fuzzy.

"Okay Doopliss…just stick your hand in and get the phone. You don't have to breathe or look at it. Just dunk your hand…and get the phone."

Doopliss took a deep breath and walked into the stall, gazing at the toilet. He then shut his eyes and dunked his hand inside, sifting it around to find something hard.

"Got it!" said Doopliss.

Doopliss smiled as he held the dung-coated cellphone in his hand and began to walk out the stall. But as he did, the toilet bubbled and gurgled loudly and some of the bubbles popped, spilling poop on the floor.

Doopliss, appalled by the grotesque noises and stinky smell, ran over to the sink and began to vomit.

**To be continued…**


	21. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 6

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 6 of 8. Fearing for his life, Yellow abandons his brothers and retreats to Isle Delfino for a "vacation". Mario and his gang find well-deserved help literally out of nowhere, and Doopliss and Darrik start to ransack Trowzer's phone records.

**Wear Rainbows on Your Shell (part 6)**

"We have less than an hour to get to Payday Waystaion and there's no form of transportation anywhere! What are we supposed to do?!"

"Just…just let me think for a second!" said Mario.

He sat down on a rock, wincing a little bit after his wound began to sting, and thought long and hard about his next plan. Perhaps if there was some sort of flying device or a flying creature, then this whole situation would resolve itself. Mario would even settle for riding in Bowser's Clown Car, but that wasn't in the cave either.

"Okay…if we can find a pair of rocket thrusters--"

"What?!"

"From the Magnus Von Grapple! You remember how that weird looking robot could fly in the air!"

"Yeah, but you only encountered Magnus twice; once in The Great Tree and again at the X-Naut Fortress. It wasn't in a cave Mario."

"Fine! If you're so smart, you--"

The ground started to shake violently as though there was an earthquake going on.

"Aw, don't tell me we gotta fight another dragon!!" whined Kooper.

A mouse cursor appeared and created five large squares in the background of the screen.

"Erm…what?" asked a confused Kooper.

The squares flipped themselves over and a red-violet dragon with a blue underbelly and spikes over its body appeared still stuck halfway underground, roaring so loud that it shook the cavern walls and caused a few rocks to roll.

"Thanks dude. Now I'm deaf!" complained Luigi.

"Hey, just be glad he doesn't have nasty poison breath." said Geno.

"_INTRUSION DETECTED. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY OR BE PURGED." _said the dragon.

"Hey, I know this dragon! It's the almighty Fracktail!" said Luigi.

A ! bubble appeared above the dragon's snout and it became clear he didn't know what was going on.

"_WAIT. SCAN INITIATED. RED CAP DETECTED. BLUE OVERALLS DETECTED. LEVEL 5 MUSTACHE DETECTED."_

"My mustache's level 5???" said Mario, caressing his mustache with his hand.

"_INCREDIBLE. POSSIBLE SUBJECT IDENTIFICATION. BUT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. HOLD YOUR POSITION. SEARCHING DATA BANKS…"_

Fracktail's eyes turned white with blue pupils and he began to roll them around repeatedly while he beeped occasionally like a sonar radio.

"Uh…what?"

"He does this. He's like this…technological dragon." explained Mario.

Another ! bubble appeared and Fracktail's eyes turned to normal.

"_SEARCH COMPLETE. ONE POSITIVE MATCH. SYSTEM OVERLOAD! LEGENDARY HERO IDENTIFIED!"_

"Long time no see eh, Fracktail? I thought you were dead?"

"_AFFIRMATIVE. MY BODY'S MECHANISMS WERE ABLE TO REPAIR THEMSELVES AND I WAS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE. THE BONES OF MY BEING WERE ABLE TO REINCARNATE THEIR FLESH."_

"Amazing! I've never seen such an advanced piece of technology like this!" said Geno.

"How'd you know we were here?" asked Kooper.

"_ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ER--"_

Fracktail bonked his noggin on the cave wall and shook it violently.

"_FORGIVE ME, BUT MY CPU IS UNABLE TO PROCESS THE QUESTION YOU HAVE ASKED. PLEASE ASK A DIFFERENT ONE."_

"Did you hear faint shouts and sword fighting?"

"_SCANNING…"_

Fracktail began to hum silently and his eyes changed color and began to roll around again.

"_AFFIRMATIVE. THIS IS WHY I WAS ABLE TO DETECT YOUR LOCATION HERO."_

"Well since you're here, can you help us?"

"_SCANNING…"_

Luigi sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes.

"Does he have to do that all the time?"

"Not unless you want to see what happens when he freaks out."

"Never mind! I am done with fighting dragons!"

"You're just scared you're gonna have to dig through dragon feces again." said Geno.

"(Censored) you."

"_BEFORE I CAN ANSWER THIS QUESTION, I MUST KNOW WHAT…FAVOR YOU REQUEST."_

"See, we're trying to save the world now and in order to do that, we need to get to Payday Waystation. But in the allotted time we have, we're unable to get there in time."

"_SO YOU NEED ME TO FLY YOU TO THIS TRAIN STATION I PRESUME."_

"That's right. If we don't get there, something perilous will happen…something that'll probably result in death and turmoil."

"_COME THEN! THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE!"_

"Wait! Before we leave, there are a couple other questions I wanna ask you…" said Kooper.

"_WHICH ARE…?"_

"Can you use the bathroom?"

"_SCANNING…"_

Fracktail's eyes began to bloop and beep as they turned white and blue and spun around in circles.

"_I HAVE NEITHER FLESH NOR ORGANS. THEREFORE, I HAVE NO STOMACH OR BOWELS AND CEASE TO RELEASE WASTE THROUGH MY ANUS OF BLADDER."_

"Wow, that's awesome! Um…can you smell stuff?"

"_SCANNING…NO. BUT I CAN DETECT THE COMPOUNDS OF VARIOUS SCENTS AND MY CPU SENDS SIGNALS OF WHAT THAT SCENT SMELLS LIKE."_

"Cool. Hey, do you say scanning everytime someone asks you a question?"

"_IF I SAY YES, WILL YOU STOP ASKING QUESTIONS THAT HAVE NO ALIGNMENT TO THE CURRENT CRISIS??"_

"No."

"Oh, I got a good one! How many times has Kooper used the bathroom?" asked Luigi.

"_SCANNING…32,490,721 AND ONE HALF TIMES."_

"Half???"

"…Don't ask.

"GUYS! PAYDAY! WAYSTATION! NOW!!!???" shouted Mario.

"All right, all right, just one more!" said Kooper.

Mario sighed exasperatedly.

"Could you have sex with another robotic dragon???"

"_ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! C:/DOCUMENT/INTERNET_EXPLORER! C:/MEGOGG_TRICKY! COMBAT! FRIZZLE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! DOES NOT COMPUTE! MEMORY OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!!!!"_

Fracktail suddenly retreated behind a large placement of rocks that shielded his body. He then started roaring and howling loudly, moving erratically and panting like a sweaty soldier.

"What the…" muttered Mario.

Mario walked behind the large rocks and found Fracktail…doing unspeakable things you wouldn't expect a robotic dragon to do.

"What? What's he--OH MY GOD! Is he mas--"

"Just shut up and close your eyes Kooper!" commanded Mario, shielding his eyes.

After Fracktail was "finished" he flew back to the group, looking calmer than ever.

"_FORGIVE ME HERO, BUT I STILL HAVE A FEW…BUGS TO SORT OUT."_

"Clearly! Now can you take us to Payday Waystation?"

"_CERTAINLY! HOP ON MY BACK AND I WILL TAKE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS THERE."_

"I still have a few--"

"_PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT BECAUSE I HAVE NO ORGANS, I WON'T DEVOUR YOUR TINY KOOPA BODY, KOOPER." _warned Fracktail.

"…I'll be quiet now."

* * *

Back in Trowzer's chamber, The Koopa Bros. were busy counting their coins and splitting the rewards as evenly as possibly, to prevent any bickering later in the day. Red made it as simple as possible: he gave a coin to himself, a coin to Black, and a coin to Green. Yellow wasn't in the room at the time, so he didn't count.

"That's 45,600 coins for you Green…45,600 coins for you Black, and 45,600 coins to me!!" laughed Red, handing his brothers their coins.

"How much money we got left to count?" asked Black.

"Another four chests and 17 moneybags to go! God, I wish Yellow were here so he could enjoy this with us!"

"Why? We get more money! I'm pretty sure he won't mind if we steal 12 millions coins of his…"

"Speaking of which, you guys are missing a good 20 million coins and I saw Yellow leave the castle." said Steve, who walked in from nowhere.

"Dude, when'd you get here?" asked Red.

"I dunno. I haven't made an appearance in this story for 9 chapters now so I guess I figured I'd come in and make a little cameo."

"Yeah, I remember the last chapter you were in--YOU STABBED ME!!" shouted Black.

"Yeah, I know. How's that hand healing?"

"Very…slowly…" said Black, with a stern tone in his voice.

"Well, see ya. I'm gonna go blow up some of Bowser's churro vendors." said Steve, holding up a bob-omb.

"Hey! I don't wanna die knowing I was used for blowing up a churro vendor!" complained the bob-omb.

"Why the (censored) do inanimate objects have mouths in Nintendo?!"

As Steve walked away, Red's cellphone rang, which he answered.

"Hello? YELOW! Where the hell are you?! We're already counting the money!"

"I know by now you know everything and I think it's best that I go on vacation for a while."

"Wha…? Vacation?! I mean, we just hit the motherload but why would you go on vacation now?! And where are you anyways?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you my location at this time."

"**FLIGHT 107 FOR ISLE DELFINO IS READY FOR BOARDING!" **said the intercom at the airport. Yellow rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

"You're going to Isle Delfino?! …Did you dump mayonnaise in my underwear drawer again???"

"No, that was Green. But I feel that I should just separate myself from you guys for a while okay? I already took my cut of the money and no one suspects a thing so I should be fine; don't worry about me."

"…Yellow if you did something that will involve me inflicting pain upon your face, running away will only make it worse dude."

"I'm serious! I just…I just need to go away for a while okay?" sniffled Yellow.

"Heh Heh! Are you crying?"

Yellow inhaled sharply and said, "I love you. You know that, right Red? You know that no matter what happens, no matter what nauseous, ghastly thing you do to me, I'll still love you."

"See, you did do something!! You only act like this when you did something horrible to my stuff and you wanna reduce the punishment by getting all teary-eyed and bawling like a baby, saying you love me!"

"JUST…just tell Green and Black…that I love them. C--can you do that Red? Please just…tell them Yellow loves them okay?"

"…Yeah, I got it." said Red.

Yellow hung up the phone and Red slipped his cellphone back into his pocket.

"So what did Yellow have to say?"

"…He wanted me to tell you that he loves you guys and all that junk."

It wasn't that Red didn't care for his brother; it was quite the contrary. He did love his brother with a passion, even though he spent most of his time teasing him or bullying him like Roy does to Iggy. The bottom line is that they were a family and they loved each other, no matter what they did to one another…no matter how many stinky shoes were shoved in their nostrils. Although, at the moment, Red thought Yellow was simply trying to get out of trouble.

"So what did Yellow say about mayonnaise in your underwear drawer?"

"Yeah, about that. Green…could you come here for a second…?" asked Red, turning on a small blowtorch.

"…What are you doing…?"

* * *

Back on Bowser's side, Darrik and Doopliss were having a clandestine meeting inside of Darrik's house, looking at the cellphone that had been acquired by Doopliss.

"I can't believe you actually got the phone from Trowzer!"

"Yes. I've scarred my sanity and had to burn my hand in acid in the process, but at least some good came out of it. So what's the plan now?"

"Easy. All I have to do is crack through the algorithm inputted in the records by hacking into the data stream with my magic and presto! I can recover any phone records Trowzer deleted!"

Doopliss cocked an eyebrow. "You lost me at algorithm…"

"All I have to do is activate this mathematical spell that can make a hologram and process data like a computer. Then, I can activate more spells similar to that one and, with luck, I should be able to decrypt the phone's password protectors."

"…You lost me again."

"There's a password I need to decode; with magic I should be able to do that."

"OOOOHHH!! I get it now! Geez, why didn't you just say that before?"

"Just let me do this please! If you break my concentration I could transform your head into that of a platypus!"

"Ooh…I do not like platypuses." said Doopliss.

Darrik concentrated his mind onto the cellphone before waving his wand into the air and lifting the cellular device with it.

"So what should I do until then?"

"Go keep lookout from Bowser's chamber and see if Trowzer or one of his cronies tries anything sneaky. I'll call you when I uncover the records."

"All right."

Doopliss continued to stare at Darrik as he performed his magic spells onto the phone.

"You uh…mind stepping back a few feet? I can't work with you peering over my shoulder."

"Okay."

Doopliss took two steps backward.

"Little further Doopliss."

"Okay."

Doopliss took two more steps backwards.

"Little more Doopliss…"

"Okay."

Doopliss took two more steps backwards.

"Little more…"

* * *

200 steps later, Doopliss was still walking backwards…when Lemmy spotted him walking backwards while staring in Darrik's direction.

"What are you doing?" asked Lemmy.

"Walking backwards."

"Why?"

"Darrik told me to."

Lemmy looked down out of his window and realized that Doopliss was walking backwards…in mid-air. It seemed like gravity didn't affect his being.

"Dude, are you walking in mid-air?!" asked an amazed Lemmy.

"What…"

Doopliss looked down and realized that he was hundreds of feet in the air.

"Huh…guess I can walk in mid-air."

"Aren't you supposed to fall now? I thought if you look down or step forward, gravity kicks in and sends your sorry ass to the ground."

"Really?"

Doopliss took a few steps forward, but nothing happened and he was still walking in mid-air.

"I DIDN'T SAY STOP WALKING DOOPLISS!!" shouted Darrik.

Doopliss took another two steps backward.

"OKAY!"

"FURTHER!!"

"Hmm…maybe if I try walking in mid-air--"

But as Lemmy climbed out of his window, he screamed and fell straight to the ground, landing with a huge thud that would've killed him if he didn't hide in his shell at the last second.

"Hey Lemmy! Are you okay?! …Can you answer me? …Lemmy…?"

But Lemmy continued to lie on the ground, unconscious and bleeding.

"I should really call the hospital."

"FURTHER!!!" shouted Darrik.

Doopliss sighed heavily and continued to move backwards…

* * *

Mario, Kooper, Geno, Blaze, and Luigi were riding on Fracktail's back when they suddenly realized that they forgot to blow up the castle.

"Oh, (censored) guys! We forgot to blow up Iggy's Castle!" announced Luigi.

Blaze slurped up one of Fracktail's spikes and turned around, blasting the fiery blunt object at the castle. Suddenly, the whole building burst into flames and began to crumble to the ground in a matter of seconds.

"…Why didn't you just do that in the first place?" asked Mario.

"Where's the fun in reading if you take out the best chapters? I mean, who didn't love that epic battle with that samurai?" asked Blaze.

"How'd you know we had to fight a samurai?"

"…Internet."

"But you weren't accessed to a computer!"

"HELLO! Flying robot dragon?!!"

"Oh. Right."

"_WE ARE ALMOST AT OUR DESTINATION HERO AND PARTNERS." _announced Fracktail.

The gang began to violently cough and gag when the pungent smell of smoke and ash was carried into the updraft and they were doused in grayish-black clouds.

"What--COUGH!!--what is that?!" asked a hacking Kooper.

"_THIS MUST BE SMOKE EMITTING FROM THE SHY GUY'S PERPLEXED EXPRESS AND BOWSER'S BAD-BREATH EXPRESS."_

"That's stupid. Who names a train Bad-Breath Express?" asked Geno.

"_PERHAPS A BEING WHO HAS A SERIOUS CASE OF BAD BREATH. THIS WOULD EXPLAIN WHY IT IS NAMED AFTER BOWSER."_

Everyone laughed heartily at Fracktail's comment about Bowser and his bad breath.

"Yeah! His breath does stink pretty bad! Fracktail made a funny!" said Kooper.

"_YES. I HAVE MADE YOU ALL LAUGH."_

Before the gang knew it, Fracktail arrived at Payday Waystation. The robot dragon stopped flying forward and lowered his head down to the station where Mario and his gang walked off and landed at the resting train station. Like the samurai said, the airship Iggy was riding was getting refueled by a couple of Shy Guys.

"Thanks Fracktail! You've been a great help." said Geno.

"_NO PROBLEM. IF YOU OR YOUR FRIENDS ARE EVER IN A PERILOUS SITUATION, I'LL KNOW WHERE TO LOCATE YOU. UNTIL NEXT TIME HERO!"_

Fracktail disappeared when another mouse cursor appeared and made five large squares around him, which turned around and revealed nothing but thin air.

"…Why didn't he just fly away?" asked Blaze.

"Quit questioning weird experiences; the airship's getting away!!" said Mario, running for the anchor hanging on the back end.

Everybody quickly sprinted their way to the gray anchor that weighed over a ton and latched onto it as the airship began to ascend back into the sky. The airship's engines raised the anchor into its slot and the team was able to jump onto the main deck, going deaf at the thunderous noise of the propellers spinning right behind them.

"So what's the plan now?" shouted Blaze over the noise.

"There is no plan! We find a way to slow down the engines; we find Iggy and kick his ass! Hopefully he'll be able to tell us what his father's planning!" said Mario.

"Why didn't we just have Fracktail bash the airship to the ground?! I mean, he's a friggin' dragon!"

"Stop asking questions Kooper and let's go!"

**To be continued…**


	22. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 7

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 7 of 8. Bowser holds a secret meeting with his children to discuss more plans to invade Dinosaur Land…in a tent. Darrik finds out the deadly secret from Trowzer's phone and leaks the information to Doopliss. Mario and the gang traverse through Iggy's airship on a mission of sabotage.

**Wear Rainbows on Your Shell (part 7)**

Realizing that Bowser will need to form up new ideas whether or not Iggy fails, he decided to meet with his children inside of a large tent just outside of his castle. Although, due to his "round" body, he was forced to take off his shell to enter without getting stuck. Even then, he still had trouble crawling through the doorway inside. Underneath his giant black shell was a koopa wearing nothing but striped blue boxers with…stains near his buttocks and a tail hole. Like his half-brother said, Bowser was indeed fat. With his shell off, his belly was exposed and seen stretching beyond the waistband of his boxers. He could barely see his feet beyond his stomach whenever he looked down. Trowzer, on the other hand, had muscle. Sure, he did have a noticeable gut, but his muscle all around his body and abs shadowed his stomach fat. Trowzer was also a little cleaner with his boxers.

Anyways, Bowser was sitting down inside of the tent while his children were bickering and shoving each other aside, trying to find room inside without shoving a limb in the other's face.

"Damnit Ludwig, stop jamming your arm in my nose!"

"Well stop inserting your foot up my posterior Larry!"

Roy was shouting muffled comments at his little sister.

"I'll take my fist out your throat when you say you're sorry for throwing me down the stairs!!"

"He threw a (censored) football! Get over it Wendy!" said Morton.

"I almost died! I had to go to the hospital! I've been in a coma the last ten chapters of this story; I just got out yesterday!"

Roy spat out his sister's fist. "Big deal. So I almost killed you. You don't need to cry about it."

"So if I almost killed you, you'd be fine with that?"

"That's not the point; shut your mouth."

"Maybe I don't wanna shut my mouth!!"

"Maybe I don't wanna kick your ass! …Wait, did I say that right?"

"No." said Junior.

"(Censored)."

Everyone yelped when Bowser ignited a bob-omb and threw it in the middle of tent, forcing everybody to jump into the air. Bowser's kids looked at their agitated father who was tossing an unlit bob-omb up and down.

"I finally figured it out. Whenever you guys piss me off, I'm gonna throw a bob-omb at you. If you don't move, you're gonna get disemboweled."

"Ew, that sounds nasty. Does that mean we (censored) ourselves till our bowels fall out?" asked Larry.

"Yes, it means we (censored) ourselves till our bowels fall out." said Ludwig, flatly.

"Ludwig shut up or I'm shoving this bob-omb up your ass, okay son?"

"THIS IS SEXUAL ABUSE!! I AM BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED BY A KOOPA!!!" shouted the bob-omb.

"How the hell am I abusing you?!"

"You're touching my ass!"

"You don't have an ass! You don't have a nose! You don't have ears! You don't have a (censored)! All you have is a fuse, two eyes and two feet. How the (censored) am I abusing you?!"

"You're touching my backside; that qualifies as my ass!"

"You don't even have a (censored) mouth! Why--why are you talking to me?! Why am I talking to an explosive sphere?!"

"I dunno. Can you just tell us why we are here again?" asked Lemmy.

Bowser chucked the bob-omb aside and began his speech.

"For the past couple of days, I haven't been contemplating about the next phase in our plan of world domination, so perhaps you guys could advise me with my dastardly deeds. I've been thinking about invading more land in Dinosaur Land or planning a siege of Yoshi Island. So who wants to start?"

"Uh, what's that smell?" asked Larry.

"It's either Dad's feet or Roy's armpits. You decide." said Ludwig.

"HEY!!" said Bowser and Roy.

"Well I was thinking that we invade Vanilla Dome and build a cannon aimed for Isle Delfino. We could hold the place hostage and make them pay for our weapons purchases! Or we could just rob the place and spend the cash on useless junk; either one works with me!" said Junior.

"How are we gonna build a cannon that fast?"

"Internet."

Bowser stared at Junior blankly.

"OH! I know! How's about we go spelunking in the caves of Donut Plains? We might find something useful down there!" said Morton.

"I thought you had a different plan?"

"Not that I remember of, no."

"Yeah! Remember in chapter 4 when you doused your castle in chocolate?" said Lemmy.

* * *

"_Now tell me why you turned your castle into a boiling cesspool again?" asked Morton Koopa Jr._

"_You wanna tell me why you doused your castle with chocolate?" asked Roy._

"_I already told you that day when I had Cocoa Puffs!"_

* * *

_Morton Koopa picked up a few cocoa puffs out of his cereal bowl and stared at them._

"_Dude, how stupid would it be if I put a chocolate monster in my castle?"_

"_Pretty damn stupid Morton." said Lemmy._

"_Yeah. It'd be all like 'Chocolate monsta! Chocolate--Chocolate monsta! Chocolate monsta! Chocolate--Chocolate monsta!'"_

"_SHUT UP! You are not Andy Milonakis!"_

"_Chocolate monsta--"_

_Roy took a frying pan and bashed it against Morton's head, knocking him out._

"_Damnit Roy, you gotta stop doing that."_

_Roy and Lemmy observed Morton's body, seeing that he was bleeding heavily from the head._

"_Wow…that's a lotta blood." said Lemmy._

"_Yep…lotta blood." _

"_You think we should help him get medical attention?"_

"_No, let's just see how much blood flows out before it stops."_

* * *

"Wow you actually remembered all that? That's amazing!" said Morton.

"What are you talking about? I didn't remember that."

"Then how'd you know what I said back then?"

"I read the book." said Lemmy, holding up a copy of "With Big Shells and Wings".

"Wait! How's the book end? I wanna know if I survive or not!"

"What book?"

"With Big Shells and Wings!"

Lemmy took out a lighter and started burning a copy of "With Big Shells and Wings".

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"AAAHHH!! You idiot!" screamed Bowser.

Bowser quickly snatched the book away and stomped on it to extinguish the fire. He then started panting loudly and quickly picked up the book, sifting through the pages.

"Damnit, some of the pages are burnt!"

"What does that mean?" asked Larry.

"Some of the scenes have been cut out! For all we know we could skip--"

* * *

"--And that's my master plan!" said Bowser triumphantly.

"That sounds like an awesome plan Dad! …Wait; how the (censored) did we get here?" asked Ludwig.

"…I forgot. Maybe there was a rift in the time space continuum. Anyways, everyone agrees that we go search for secret weapons inside the ghost houses within Dinosaur Land?"

"YEAH!! Wait, what?" asked everyone.

"You already said yes; that's what we're gonna do!" declared Bowser.

"But I clearly remember you saying--"

"Wendy I just got through eating a six pound burrito and I just ate seven of those volcano burritos from Taco Bell. You all know what happens when I get worked up and angry after eating a (censored)load of burritos!!"

"We're not trying to rowdy you up Dad! We just wanna know why you suddenly--"

Bowser grunted and passed gas loudly, making his underwear flutter a little bit because of the strong wind. Morton and Lemmy instantly fell onto their backs and started hooting with laughter while everyone else plugged their noses.

"See? Now you got me started Wendy!"

Bowser grunted while hiking up his left leg and farted again, making sure his siblings caught wind of the odor.

"Thanks a lot Wendy! Now you got Dad blastin' his burrito farts while we're locked in a tent!" complained Larry.

Bowser farted again, this time short and abrupt.

"Ah, that was good! Felt like a cannon just shot out my ass!"

"Can we please get a gasmask or poke some air holes into this tent? Pleeeeaaaassse?!" begged Wendy.

"Nope! You're just gonna have to breathe through your mouths! I can go all night…" chuckled Bowser.

Which is what he was planning on doing, cause after he said that, he started farting like a walrus after it eats nearly a ton of clams. All of the koopalings were groaning and holding their noses, trying to kick their way out of the tent to escape the gassy chamber. Although, Morton and Lemmy were simply rolling around laughing until their ribs began to hurt.

"Hey Dad! Watch this!"

Lemmy leaned over and broke wind as loud as his father did, wafting the smell to his other siblings' faces. Bowser laughed and farted once again, making a loud squishy wet sound afterwards.

"(Censored). Okay, stop! Hold up a second!" shouted Bowser.

Bowser felt around the back end of his boxers and felt something…and it wasn't his tail...

"Dad did you just soil your underwear?" asked Ludwig.

"NO!!"

Bowser jerked his head backwards, stretched out his boxers and looked inside…appalled at what he saw.

"…Maybe…" said Bowser meekly.

"Dad, it's not hard. Just pat your butt and see if you feel a lump back there."

"I'd…rather not…"

"Why?"

"Cause there's something back in there and it's definitely _not _my tail…"

Ludwig began to nod to himself. "You (censored) your underwear."

"Yeah."

* * *

"--And that's my plan!" said Mario.

"What plan? You just said 'And that's my plan!' out of nowhere! And how did we even end up in the boiler room of the airship?" asked Kooper.

"There must be a ripple in the time space continuum. That…or someone's damaged sections of the story and we keep hopping past scenes." said Geno.

"That sounds highly improbable Geno."

"What?"

"I don't know. I'm just saying big words to sound smart."

"Right. So I suggest that we turn off the boilers--"

* * *

Kooper was screaming intensely when water shot out a boiler and burned his face.

"SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF!!" shouted Kooper.

Geno quickly shut off the boiler and Kooper fell on his shell, holding his boiling red face in pain.

"Damn, I must've misinterpreted the water pressure of these boilers. Perhaps we should just shut off the boilers by turning the wheel next to those valves."

"Why the (censored) didn't you point that out earlier?!"

"…What earlier? This is how this scene began. Not my fault you didn't see the wheel earlier."

"Just shut up and roll me over so I can get up."

Geno softly kicked Kooper in his shell and he rolled over so that he was lying on his torso. Kooper grunted and stood on his two feet. Afterwards, he walked over to the wheel and turned it until it tightened and ceased to turn. The boilers stopped steaming and they were now offline.

"Okay, now let's meet up at the rendezvous point near the center of the engine."

"Uh…sure."

Geno and Kooper opened a large door that leads to a massive chamber filled with metal platforms, electric generators, engines, and all sorts of mechanical equipment, like toolboxes. The duo hid behind a generator when a dark koopatrol walked past them to collect a toolbox. After he did, he turned around and walked to another section of the engine room, whistling to himself once again. Geno and Kooper walked right in the center of the engines and ducked as they hissed out boiling water that was now steam. They had to be extremely surreptitious, because the upper deck was filled to the brim with koopatrol units and spikesters, the bipedal spinies wearing green shells. That's when they saw Mario and his brother crouched behind a tube full of gasoline.

"Did you guys sabotage the boilers?"

Kooper pointed to his red face. "Does this answer your question?"

"Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to reverse the magnetic polarity." said Blaze.

"…What?"

"There was an engine run by the use of magnets and I reversed it so that the engine would shut down."

"Okay, whatever. What's the next part of the plan?"

"We need to get to the bridge and sabotage the controls so if the airship captains manage to repair the engines, it'll be too late for them to get the ship up and moving." said Geno.

"How many hostiles are on the bridge? The last thing we need to do is walk right into a grinder with our hands shoved up our asses." asked Luigi.

"Last time I saw, there were only a few spikesters with high rankings up there. Plus I saw Iggy go up there a couple of times. But other than that, I think we're good on ambushing the bridge."

"What do we do after that?" asked Kooper.

"We find Iggy Koopa and kick his scaly spiky shell wearin' ass!"

"Sounds like a plan to me!"

* * *

Mario, Luigi, Geno, Kooper, and Blaze were standing on the top of the cabin to the bridge, crawling along the rooftop so that they could reach the grate gaining access to the cabin. Kooper and Luigi felt pretty cool and badass, reminiscing about Sam Fisher in the Splinter Cell series. In fact, the rushing cold wind reminded Kooper of that one mission where Sam had to crawl along the top of a train going hundreds of miles per hour.

"Hey Luigi! Doesn't this remind you of that one level of Splinter Cell where Sam Fisher is walking along the roof of the train while it's in motion?" shouted Kooper over the whirring propellers.

"YES!! Yes, it does! This is so awesome!"

Luigi and Mario peered into the cabin and saw the green creatures walking around pressing random buttons and talking to each other about leisure activities. Some of them were curled up in their shells sleeping, being as lazy as they could be. It wasn't something you'd expect the captains of an airship with a laser pointed at Rogueport to act. Should one of them nod off and stumble onto the launch button, they'd set off the laser and blow up the Mushroom Kingdom instead. Not a giant letdown, but Bowser wanted Rogueport gone first.

"Let's make this as quick as possible. Blaze, you swallow the spikester next to the alarm button so he won't warn anybody. Kooper, you and Luigi get rid of the comms link and the guards next to the window. Geno and I will take care of anyone else in the room." said Mario.

"Got it."

Blaze slurped his gummy tongue out of his mouth and latched it onto the grate, yanking it off and spitting out the large slab of metal and watching it twirl about in the wind. Then the five heroes jumped down the square hole and made a loud clatter as they made contact with the floor. The spikester leaning near the alarm button didn't notice Blaze and was unfortunately dragged into his mouth. The spikester screamed in a muffled tone when he was gulped down by the Yoshi with blistering breath.

"What the hell?"

Geno turned his hands into fists and shot them from his arm sockets at the spikester, who was thrown out the window and ended up plummeting hundreds of feet to his death.

"Get on top of me!"

"WHAT!!!"

Kooper sighed and rolled his eyes. "Get on top of me so I can zoom across the room while you shoot fireballs everywhere."

"Oh. I thought you meant…nevermind."

Kooper dug himself into his shell and started spinning around like a dradle, waiting for Luigi to get on top of him. When he did pounce on Kooper, Luigi shrieked and had to run on his shell like it was a ball.

"Just like Bumper Balls, eh bro?"

"I hate that stupid mini-game!"

Regardless, Luigi managed to balance himself while he was on top of Kooper and began shooting fireballs erratically as Kooper spun across the cabin. Mario took out his hammer and bonked a spikester on the head twice. The spikester responded by jumping up and down and shooting a spike from his back. Mario yelped in pain when the spike stabbed him in the arm, forcing him to drop his hammer. However, Geno came in and shot several stars from his hands at the spikester, inducing a large amount of damage. The spikester hid within his shell and shot himself towards Geno, launching his body into the control system. Normally, a regular person would get fried by the static electricity running through the machines, but since Geno was made of wood, he wasn't killed. So Geno shook his head and blasted the spikester with stars again until he fell over, unconscious.

"Now that all the guards are subdued, let's take out the comms link." said Kooper.

And so, Luigi walked up to the comms link center and chucked a bunch of fireballs at it until it turned bright green and burst into green flames. After that, the group walked onto the main deck of the airship and found the gray pipe vault that would lead to Iggy's chamber.

"You guys ready?" asked Mario.

"We have two plumbers who shoot fireballs from their hands, a Yoshi with hot breath, a magical doll, and a blue-shelled koopa. It's five against one; what could go wrong?" said Kooper.

"2000 hyper clefts could be hidden underneath the floor boards. You know they disguise themselves as rocks." Geno pointed out.

"Or maybe Lord Crump is down there along with Iggy…" speculated Blaze.

"No, maybe the shadow queen has possessed Iggy and he's 30 times more powerful…" said Luigi.

"No, no, no! I think that King Boo is down there too!" said Kooper.

"Nah, they probably--"

"Are you guys trying to make me piss my pants?" asked Mario.

"Yes." everyone else said in unison.

Mario sighed and said, "Let's go." before jumping into the pipe with his partners.

* * *

Doopliss was busy throwing pencils into the ceiling when his cellphone rang out of nowhere.

"Yeah."

"Doopliss where are you?" asked a frantic Darrik.

"Back at Bowser's castle. Why?"

"Because I just got through looking through Trowzer's phone records."

"And…?"

"Looks like I was right. Trowzer's trying to ruin his brother's legacy."

"So what are we supposed to do? Just sit on our asses until he clips us one-by-one?"

"Calm down Doopliss. I'm going to Bowser's castle right now and the second I get there I'm showing him the data. We'll figure it all out later."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Act normal; don't arouse suspicion."

"Okay, I can do that."

* * *

Mario and the gang plummeted to the bottom of the tunnel, which was the center of Iggy's battle arena. It looked the same as usual; brown floor, ceiling and walls, a few windows in the background, and a few raised and elevated floors. But like all boss rooms, the boss was standing right across from the five heroes, holding all sorts of weapons.

"I don't think you guys have been introduced to my new potion…" started Iggy.

"Let me stop you right here, Iggy, because we all know how this is gonna end. If you tell us what your father is planning on doing, we'll walk out of here and you won't get a butt kicking. Sound fair?" Mario said.

Iggy chuckled evilly and shook his head, taking a green potion out of his shell.

"Thanks to the miracles of chemistry and my large knowledge-induced cranium, I've been able to create a potion that will--"

Luigi shot a green fireball at the potion and the glass and fluids shattered and spilled everywhere.

"I'm sorry, but everytime a bad guy announces that he's found a way to make himself more powerful, the good guys just stand there and wait for him to do whatever he's gonna do."

"--Which is why I already drank another batch of the vial; the one you shattered was for mere display purposes."

"Aw, (censored)!"

"It doesn't matter Iggy! Potion or no potion we're gonna take you down!" stated Kooper, making a fist.

Iggy dug into his shell and took out two wands before laughing evilly and activating the tools.

"I seriously doubt that…"

"Why don't you stop talking and show us what this potion can do?" dared Blaze.

Iggy smiled widely, showing his sharp pointed teeth and laughed evilly once more.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT!"

Iggy charged right for Mario and his partners at lightning speed, while the others got into a fighter's stance and charged for Iggy. That's when they attacked…

**To be continued…**


	23. Wear Rainbows on your Shell, part 8

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Conclusion. Doopliss finds a jaw-dropping surprise at Darrik's house…and Mario and the gang face off against Iggy Koopa.

**Wear Rainbows on Your Shell (part 8)**

The second the gang leaped for each other, Iggy kicked Blaze right in the snout, twirling his body all the way to the wall, creating a loud crash and sending wood everywhere. Everyone turned around and saw Iggy with his back turned, breathing heavily. Mari back flipped and jammed his foot straight down, preparing to bounce off Iggy's crazed head. At the last second, he moved to another spot at the speed of light.

"What the--?"

Mario grunted twice when Iggy shot his shell at him and then blasted some multi-polygonal beams at his face, inducing more damage.

"GENO--"

Geno didn't even have time to finish yelling out "Geno Whirl" before Iggy hid in his shell and hit Geno right in the solar plexus…if he had one, that is. But that didn't mean he didn't feel a sharp pain in his torso…

"Hey! Stop moving so fast so we can jump on you!" yelled Luigi.

But Iggy simply laughed and zoomed his way past Luigi, spinning him like a tornado. Whatever was inside that potion, it made him move like a cockroach when the lights turn on. Blaze stretched out his tongue and touched Iggy's shell, but he was unable to eat him. Like most Yoshis do, he made a loud gag sound and his face teared up with a distasteful expression. Perhaps Iggy was too big to eat or maybe Yoshis just don't eat bosses, but all he knew was if he swallowed this koopa, he'd throw up all over the place.

"Okay, plan B." said Blaze, taking a green koopa shell out of his pocket.

He swallowed the shell and swished it around his mouth, quickly turning the shell into podoboos. But just as he was about to spit it out, Iggy punched him in the chest and he belched the flames into Mario's direction. Mario yelped and started running around with his overalls on fire. Geno regained consciousness and rushed over to Mario, fanning his flaming trousers with his clothing. That's when Iggy came in and bonked both of them on the head with his wand, knocking them both out when he whacked their bodies against the wall.

"So um…about retreating?" asked Iggy.

"Oh, please! So you can move at the speed of light! Oh, that's so sca--"

Iggy spun around like The Mask and twirled his way to Kooper in a mere two seconds, smacking him silly when he puts his hands into the air and turned them into fists. Kooper was whacked in the head at least 20 times and his body soon began to spin just as much as Iggy's. In fact, he span so much that he got caught up in the tornado and was thrown into the ceiling, getting his head stuck in the wood. All anyone could see were his flailing legs and tail trying to get out.

"Wow. Just two more and the Mario Bros. will be finished!"

"You really think we're gonna let some nerdy koopa kick our asses?"

"Yeah, cause this 'nerdy koopa' moves too quickly for you and is so powerful that even if you manage to hit me, you'll get shocked. Too bad you didn't notice the volt shroom I swallowed during the fight…" said Iggy, smiling.

Mario tried to attack Iggy from behind, but as he jumped on his head, his frizzy hair shocked him in the boot and he took some damage.

"YOW!! What the hell was that?!" asked Mario.

"Let's face it. Unless you find a way to ground me--which is impossible--or find a way to reduce my speed--also impossible--there's no way any of you heroes can--"

Iggy shouted with intense pain when Geno snuck up from behind and touched him with his wooden arms, shocking himself intentionally and sacrificing some of his health. But in the process, Iggy was no longer electrified and now susceptible. Mario shot a fireball at him and Iggy quickly scurried out the path, charging up his wand with a blue aura surrounding it. Iggy swirled his wand around like a toilet flushing and a large laser shot out the device, curling around like a snake. Mario jumped through the center of the loophole, cautious that the steaming hot weapon didn't burn him. And when he finally got to Iggy, he jump-kicked him in the face before he had any reaction time.

"Still think we can't kick your ass?"

Mario grunted when Kooper fell out of the ceiling and collapsed right on top of him, compelling Iggy to laugh heartily.

"So I'm not a walking light bulb; I can still take you guys on!" said Iggy.

Iggy began to gibber constantly when Luigi performed a Luigi Cyclone and when he finished, Iggy was chucked into the air. As he came crashing back down, Blaze smacked him in the face with his tail. Iggy shook his head and got off the ground, looking at his enemy once again.

"I guess I'll just have to kick it up a notch."

Iggy knocked the jewel encrusted at the top of the scepter and replaced it with a green one. Iggy blew on the wand like it was a match and green fire began to flow all around the room, turning the air into smoke within seconds. Not only did the team have to avoid catching on fire, but the smoke was blinding them, cutting off their air supply. Mario, Luigi, Geno, and Kooper fell to the floor, coughing violently and hacking. In the midst of the confusion, Iggy put on a gasmask. This was actually pretty smart, because neither night-vision nor heat-vision would help them spot Iggy; the clouds were too thick. So Iggy was left to attack Mario and his gang with ease, punching them on the face here and kicking them in the shin there. And no one could see how fast he was going nor could they tell where he was. Everyone was blind.

Except for Blaze. For some reason, his vision was perfectly fine in the smoldering clouds, as though it was a light mist in the air. Perhaps it was because he was born with fire and heat coursing through his veins or maybe his body has gotten used to smoke. Either way you put it, Blaze had no trouble seeing.

"Mario! I think I got an idea!" shouted Blaze.

Blaze extended his sticky pink tongue and touched Iggy with it, making the same sour gag noise like before, similar to what Yoshis did in Yoshi's Island. Mario coughed a couple more times before he heard the noise and rushed over to Blaze, finding Iggy only a few feet away from him. Mario took out his hammer and bashed Iggy upside his head, knocking him down and exposing a little bit of blood. Iggy quickly back flipped behind Mario and shot another multi-polygonal beam at his back, taking away some more HP. Blaze hopped over Mario and unleashed his tongue once more, lashing it onto Iggy's face. Only this time, he yanked off his gasmask and chucked it elsewhere. Iggy began to cough and hack just like everyone else and he too, was blind and disoriented. Geno could see vaguely better than his teammates so he took a chance and fired a large accumulation of stars from his hands, making direct contact with Iggy's hookbill.

Realizing he couldn't take out the heroes with the same disadvantage as them, he twirled his scepter again and a small cyclone appeared, clearing all of the smoke through the windows and airing the room out. Everyone coughed a couple more times before they caught their breath…and it was just in time for Iggy to attack once again. Only this time, he jumped high into the air and disappeared beyond the ceiling. Everyone cocked their heads and a tiny **?** was shown above their heads.

"Where'd he go?"

"Uranus."

Everyone glared at Kooper with odd expressions on their faces, thinking he was a pervert.

"What? He asked; I provided an answer."

Kooper rolled out the way when another multi-polygonal beam blasted down from the sky and made a hole in the floor. Then another beam blasted down from the ceiling and hit Blaze on the scalp, burning it. The next thing everyone knew, it was literally raining polygonal beams from the ceiling, falling profusely. Mario and his gang were running and dodging beams like hail, knowing that if they got hit, it'd feel somewhat similar to a 20 pound stone clocking them on the skull. After a good 20 or 30 beams, Iggy came crashing down from the ceiling yelling ferociously. He slammed his scepter down on the floor and it created a circular blue wave of energy that spread all across the room. If Mario and his friends hadn't jumped over the energy wave in time, they would've been electrocuted within seconds. After stomping down, Iggy threw his wand like it was a boomerang, watching it spin around the room until it returned to his hands. Everyone ducked in a matter of time, but when they looked at a wooden column in the arena, they were shocked to see that it had been severed in half. It suddenly became clear with what the heroes had to do.

They had to get the scepter out of Iggy's grimy claws.

* * *

Doopliss was sitting in his chair…still chucking pencils at the ceiling. Then Larry snuck into his room from behind, startling Doopliss when he tapped him on the back of his shoulder.

"You ever heard of knocking Larry?!"

"How am I gonna keep my title if I'm as loud as a rhino?"

"What title? You're just the koopa with a blue Mohawk who sneaks up on people."

"Which is why I came here. I heard my dad talking to some of his subordinates and nobody can find Darrik."

Doopliss gulped loudly and started to pant softly. Someone must've leaked the information to Trowzer…or one of his men planted cameras inside of his room. Either way he put it, someone squealed to Bowser's half-brother.

"You absolutely sure no one's seen him?"

"They checked the dragons' chambers, the firing range, the lava field, the lava pool, the fire-weed garden, brimstone cavern--"

"Did anyone actually bother checking his actual house?"

"Well, we're talking about my father here so…"

"Alright, I'll go see what happened to him."

Doopliss got out of his chair and begun to walk out of his room when Larry looked up and noticed that the ceiling was doused with pencils.

"Oh, you might wanna get an umbrella…" warned Doopliss.

"Why?"

Larry got a pencil from Doopliss's desk and chucked it into the ceiling, causing more of them to fall down.

"OH GOD! MY EYE!!!" shouted Larry, holding his left eye with a pencil inside it.

"I warned you."

* * *

Doopliss warily opened the doors of Darrik's house, peering left and right to see if Trowzer's hitkoopas was ransacking the place. All he found were a bunch of furniture and utensils thrown everywhere. It looked like a pigsty.

"Hmm…maybe I should turn Darrik into a pig. It'd really suit his cleaning habits."

Doopliss's feet clattered as he took another step forward on the wood floor, hearing a couple of cracks and creaks every now and then. He pressed his hand against the bathroom door and it slowly creaked to reveal a cluttered latrine. All the shampoo and towels were spilled everywhere and someone left the faucet running.

"Wow. Darrik could really use a maid. Hey Darrik! You in here?!" shouted Doopliss.

Finally, Doopliss stumbled into Darrik's room and found out that, like most of his house, it was absolutely filthy and disgusting. It wasn't this way the last time he was at his house, but being a wizard an' all, he probably just made a spell that would instantly clean up the whole house in two seconds. Doopliss stepped over a bunch of papers and tossed over gray robes, some of which were wet. He peeked under Darrik's desk and asked, "Darrik?" but found nothing. Doopliss scratched his head in confusion and turned around to go search more of the house. A loud crunch was heard and Doopliss looked down to find a weird, yellow-orange object resting under his foot.

"What the…?"

Doopliss picked up the object slowly and examined it…before yelping and dropping the object like it was ridden with disease. The object he picked up had teeth on it. ...It was a jaw.

"OH (CENSORED)!! WHAT THE (CENSORED)?!!?"

A skeptical, nervous Doopliss took a few steps backward and bumped into a wall, covered in blood.

"HOLY (CENSORED)!"

Doopliss looked all around the house, hoping that the jaw wasn't relevant to his current agenda. But Darrik was nowhere to be found. With no other option left, Doopliss sprinted out of the house. Perhaps Darrik wasn't dead and merely being held hostage. Or maybe he tried to fight off Trowzer's captors and got his jaw torn off in the process and he bled to death. It didn't really matter though, because one thing was for certain:

Darrik was jawless.

* * *

Mario and the gang were lying on the ground, tired and wounded beyond recognition. Iggy and the gang had been battling for almost 20 minutes now and they were all dead tired. All of them had a bruise and scratch somewhere on their body. It had gotten way past the point of ridiculous. Blaze tried to stand up, but he stumbled on his own feet and fell right back down. Geno had to ground Iggy so many times that he was burnt to a crisp. One more time and Geno's body would be incinerated. Mario and Luigi both had their hats knocked off and because of this, they took more damage than before. No one knew why they were weaker with their hats off, but that's just how it goes. Kooper somehow managed to get off his shell and waltzed over to Iggy, who was lying on the back of his shell.

"Face it Iggy…you've lost. It's one against five; you've got no chance. Just make life easier for yourself and tell us what your father--"

Kooper grunted loudly when Iggy jerked his hand up and punched him in the groin. His face turned red and angry and Kooper fell over to his side. He was groaning and retching loudly, coughing so violently it sounded like he was gonna vomit.

"(CENSORED) HIT ME IN THE BALLS YOU DICK!!!!"

Blaze could see Iggy smile out of the corner of his eye.

"This is your final offer guys." said Iggy.

Iggy slowly stood up and groaned, trying his best to stand on his wobbly legs.

"Just walk away and no one else has to get hurt."

"I really don't see why you don't make life simple and just tell us what you father's doing Iggy." said Mario.

"You know the Bowser League doesn't quit for anything, even when they know they're gonna lose."

"Is that so?"

Mario saw Blaze slowly creep up behind Iggy with his mouth open, ready to suck the scepter right out of his hands. He winked at Mario, acknowledging him to make sure Iggy didn't turn back around.

"If you already know you're gonna lose, then what's the point in fighting?"

"To display honor and glory…and honor…and all that other (censored); you know what I'm takin' about!"

"But if you lost, that wouldn't be very honorable now would it?"

"If I scalped you with this scepter and boiled your brain, that wouldn't be very honorable, now would it?"

Blaze shot his tongue forward and it got stuck onto the scepter. Iggy tried to fight off Blaze by twisting his sticky tongue into a knot, but Luigi attacked him from behind, bashing him on the head. Geno sprang into action and shot a whole bunch of cannonballs from his elbow, knocking him into the wall. Finally, Mario got back up and clotheslined him right in the throat. Iggy was pinned on the ground, balancing on the back of his shell. Without his scepter, Iggy was near powerless. Mario planted his foot on his throat softly to pin him down while Geno and the others made sure he didn't get back up by dog-piling him.

"I don't think you're gonna get back up anytime soon."

Iggy growled gutturally and Mario responded by pressing his shoe further down on his neck.

"OKAY! Fine, I'll tell you what I know!"

Mario took his boot off.

"As far as I know, my father's been contemplating about taking over Isle Delfino or holding it hostage. But you know how random my dad is; he could be building a machine that turns sand into fudge popsicles."

"…That makes no sense." Geno pointed out.

"Neither does my dad!" Iggy shouted.

"You'll probably find something there."

"Thanks for the help Iggy."

Mario and the gang got off of Iggy and walked over to the grey pipe to exit the airship. Before they left though, Kooper walked over to Iggy and kicked him in the groin, laughing in his face very weakly afterwards.

"Payback's a bitch ain't it?"

* * *

"What the hell's going on with those breakers?!" shouted a dark koopatrol member.

"Someone messed with control systems! Damnit, keep those breakers in!"

The breakers near one of the engines began to pop and crackle, shooting electric bolts everywhere. A koopatrol unit walked up to the breakers without his standard gloves on and when he touched the breakers, they started popping wildly around him. The guard started shaking and grunting as he was caught in the field of electricity and before he knew it, the whole engine began to explode in lightning bolts. The koopatrol unit screamed horribly as he was shocked to death.

* * *

The airship instantly went dark and Kooper began to shift backwards, sliding against the floor like a pen rolling down the table.

"Uh, why am I sliding?" asked Kooper.

Suddenly everyone looked down and realized that they were sliding too.

"Guys…?"

The whole gang was lifted in the air, falling up through the wind while simultaneously falling down. Imagine getting on a roller coaster and going down the biggest drop, then subtract the seat belts and restraints securing you to the seat. It feels like you're falling upward, about to fly out your seat. And since nothing was restraining the five heroes, they were sent flying backwards and up due to the draft. The airship began to explode in multiple areas and all the engines instantly shut down. Someone placed explosives, maybe C-4, all around the engines room and set them off, and now the airship was going to crash. Lucky for our heroes, the updraft carried them straight into the air and they were thrown off the airship within a few minutes since there was no roof. One of them was almost cut up by the propellers spinning at the stern. But other than that, nothing happened.

So now, our heroes were falling thousands of feet to their death in the cold, dark night air.

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!!?" yelled Kooper.

"GENO! OPEN UP YOUR CAPE!!" commanded Mario.

"WHAT?!!?"

"OPEN UP YOUR CAPE!!"

"WHAT!!!"

"SON OF A KOOPA--LET ME DO IT!!"

Mario flew his way over to Geno, grabbing the edges of his cape.

"EVERYONE HOLD ON TO GENO!!!"

"WHY?!!" asked Blaze.

"JUST DO IT OR YOU WILL DIE!!!"

Kooper, Blaze, and Luigi grabbed onto Geno so tightly that they were literally crushing his body. Mario fluttered Geno's cape in the wind and with just one wave, it turned itself into a parachute and the fall began to retard. Everyone began to float to the ground like a balloon. After a few minutes, the gang landed in the deserts of Pyramid Park softly.

"Whew…that was a close call."

"Yep. Guess it's off to Isle Delfino right?" asked Blaze.

"Yeah…I could use a vacation anyways."

"And even better, you get to enjoy some fireworks in spite of our victory!" said Luigi, pointing to the flaming airship.

Everyone stopped talking and looked into the horizon as they saw the gigantic flying battleship fall to the ground with bits of wood falling off. After a solid 30 seconds, it disappeared over a large sand dune and everyone felt the ground shake due to a gargantuan explosions in the distance.

"OOH! Look at the pretty colors!!" said Kooper, pointing to the fireballs erupting into the air.

"You guys think Bowser's gonna be pissed if he finds out we killed his son?" asked Blaze.

"I'm pretty sure he made it out of the blast in time. Knowing Iggy, he built his own jet pack and just flew into the sky."

"…Yeah…"

"Even if we did kill him, what's Bowser gonna do? Send a band of hitkoopas and hitboos out on us?" asked Luigi.

"Yes."

"Shut up Blaze."

Luigi yelped when Blaze spat in his face again.

"Why do you keep chucking saliva in my face?!"

Blaze chuckled. "Cause it's funny."


	24. The Ninth Gate

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Bowser delivers grave news to his children, Doopliss becomes a fugitive from Trowzer's forces, and Mario and the gang find a shocking discovery in Isle Delfino.

**The Ninth Gate**

**A/N: This hereby marks the start of the darker side of With Big Shells and Wings. By which I mean, guns will be used, characters will be killed and/or assassinated, and there may even be graphic scenes of violence and torture. There's still gonna be comedy and whatnot, but you'll definitely see a tone shift from here on out.**

Lemmy was running along the pavement to meet up with his siblings and other members of the Bowser Evil League. All of them were gathered at a hospital after hearing that Iggy had survived the crash and was rescued by fellow koopa units.

"So what happened to Iggy? Is diarrhea shootin' out of his ass again?" joked Lemmy.

Larry elbowed Lemmy in the chest, forcing a grunt from his throat.

"Shut the (censored) up Lemmy! This is serious!"

"…What's with the eyepatch?"

"Long story; don't worry about it. All I know is that Iggy's is the hospital now and it isn't looking good."

Lemmy's smile suddenly turned into a frown. "How bad exactly?"

"He could die Lemmy."

"What?! NO! Who's gonna build me machines that shoot out whoopee cushions? Who am I gonna blame whenever I fart in public? Who's gonna help me build a gun that shoots out cheese?!"

Larry shrugged. "Why don't you ask Ludwig?"

The hospital doors opened up revealing Bowser who was rubbing his forehead and sighing, looking somewhat agitated. Everyone stared at him like he was a politician about to make a speech and got quiet.

"At exactly 4:41 a.m., Iggy was found by a squad of koopatrol units not far from Pyramid Park. They uh…he didn't look to good so they transported him to the nearby hospital."

Bowser paused for a moment and scratched his head.

"Um…the doctors said that he was severely burned in four places, was suffering from internal bleeding…and they found a slab of wood impaled through his heart and kidney. Iggy went into cardiac arrest around 5:15. The doctors tried to resuscitate him…"

The second Bowser said "tried" some of the members groaned and Roy muttered, "Oh (censored)."

"…but failed. Iggy Koopa was pronounced dead at 5:21 a.m."

No one could really believe the news they heard, especially Bowser's kids. They weren't sure if they were shocked that someone as smart as Iggy died or maybe it was because Mario actually went far enough to kill a member of Bowser's family. Their sadness was only brief, because a moment later many of them made fists with their hands and started growling under their throats.

"NO!!!" shouted Junior, slamming his hand into a car window.

Junior took it harder than Lemmy did. He took it harder than anyone else. And it was kinda weird, because they didn't even share a special bond; they were just brothers. But hey, blood is thicker than water. Suddenly, Bowser's cellphone rang.

"Yeah?" said Bowser, retreating behind a dumpster.

"Jesus Christ! Why aren't you picking up your phone?! Where the hell are you?"

"Now's not the time to call. One of my sons just died and another one's bleeding from his hand so you better tell something informing right now."

"I'm sorry, but right now you need to hear this."

"I'm listening."

"Darrik is dead."

"No he's not, he's just--"

"I went to his house and found out everything was a mess."

"Darrik is a slob Doopliss…"

"His jaw…was on the floor. Someone or something ripped his jaw clean off his skull Bowser, and I have no idea where his body is. How the (censored) are you capable of doing something like?!"

"Is there a point to this conversation Doopliss?" asked Bowser, slowly getting more and more agitated.

"I know why he was killed--Darrik found out that Trowzer had something to do with your downfall. He was gonna tell me what the information was, but then he went missing. Don't you get it Bowser? Your brother kidnapped--maybe even killed--Darrik…and I'm pretty sure someone placed a hit out on my head too."

"I don't think you heard me: my son DIED!! That son of a bitch Mario killed my son! And if we don't stop him now, more colleagues of mine are gonna die and my plan to defeat Mario will fail."

"Don't you even care--?"

"I have bigger fish to fry right now. Maybe you're right and he is out to get me, but I don't care at the moment."

"What about me?!! Someone could be following me right now with a gun aimed at the back of my head!"

"You'll figure it out." said Bowser.

"Bowser?! Bow--DAMNIT!!"

**1:29 p.m.**

It was a beautiful day down at Isle Delfino. The yellow, blue and green birds and seagulls were flapping their wings around the dolphin shaped island, singing their hearts out. All of the Piantas were talking to each other or dancing over a happy moment they just encountered. The Piantas were still selling fruits and hot peppers, like always. The beach Pianta was still longing to get back to the stranded island. The sunglasses Pianta was still wearin' his sunglasses, bathing in the sun. Overall, it was a happy moment right now. Mario and his pals walked through the main entrance to the town and were immediately stopped by the two Delfino Police officers.

"Hey, hey, hey!! Not again! You're not gonna start another goopy rampage on Isle Delfino again! Unless you want to clean up the whole island again??" said the blue officer.

"For the last time, that was Bowser's son! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, OKAY??? I CLEANED UP THE CITY, OKAY???"

"Oh, alright. But if we see some much as even one smudge…" warned the orange officer.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just let us through, okay?"

The officers inspected Mario's partners and figured that a doll, a koopa, a Yoshi and another human who was skinnier than Mario couldn't cause too much trouble, so they let him through.

"So this is Isle Delfino!" said Kooper, amazed by the beautiful surroundings.

"Yep. One of the most exotic places to rest and relax in the Mushroom Kingdom. It's like Hawaii but ten times better." said Mario.

"Can't we relax for a few minutes…or months?" asked Luigi.

"We pick up the lead that Iggy gave us and _then_ we'll party our asses off."

"All right Mario. Since you're familiar with this place more than I am, how's about you guide us around this paradise?" asked Geno.

"Sure, why not?"

Mario turned left and arrived at the Delfino lighthouse, discovering a portal that led them to Gelato Beach. Everyone jumped inside and was transported to the exquisite beach, full of sand and coral reefs. The hot sun was beating upon them and everyone was greeting them, happy to see Mario and his pals once more. Even though they were supposed to be looking for someone, Mario and his friends took off their shoes and started walking on the beach, wiggling their toes in the water and sighing contently. After walking on the beaches and greeting everybody, they stopped over to the watermelon shack and ordered a couple watermelon smoothies, drinking them with glee and talking to some of the Nokis.

It wasn't until an hour later when the gang was woken up by a bunch of cataquacks that Mario realized that they were slacking off.

"Whoa, whoa, what time is it?"

"…Almost five." said Luigi.

"Five?! Damnit, get your shoes on! We gotta get back on the case!" said Mario.

"Can't we just stay here and relax in the sun?" asked Kooper.

"NO! If we do that, we'll never stop Bowser!"

"But I wanna stay here!" said Kooper, pouting like Cartman from South Park.

"We'll come back after we find the next clue; I promise." said Mario.

"Okay…"

* * *

Mario and the gang returned to Delfino Plaza sipping on the remains of their watermelon smoothies. The gang arrived at the center of Delfino Plaza and was resting against the giant Pianta statue, being cautious not to enter the portal to Bianco Hills.

"Maybe the clue's in Bianco Hills?"

"Do you really think there's a clue there, or do you just want to taste a sample of Pianta Windmill cheese?" asked Mario.

"…I wanna taste the cheese." mumbled Kooper.

"Look, I know you guys are tired and I know you guys want to take a break and relax and I promise that after we uncover this clue, you guys will be able to sit back and kick your shoes off while getting a tan in the sun. Okay? Can you guys get through one more clue?"

"Yeah, we can do that. I suppose this beats guarding the house and doing nothing but sitting on my butt all day." said Luigi.

Everybody turned a corner and began to walk towards the pier, which had the boating systems running from dock to dock.

"Maybe we should look at Noki Bay and see if the clue's there?"

"Nah, I doubt that Bowser would--"

Everyone screeched to a halt when they saw a ninjakoopa wearing a yellow shell and yellow boots and a yellow bandanna over his eyes. It was Yellow. Time instantly slowed down and the six characters stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then, out of nowhere, Yellow turned around and began to sprint along the pathway, muttering, "You have got to be (censored) kidding me!"

"(CENSORED)!" yelled Blaze.

"(CENSORED)!" yelled Kooper.

The five heroes charged after Yellow and swerved around a corner, landing on the walkway that led back to the statue. But surprisingly, Yellow was gone.

"Where is he? Where is that yellow son of a--"

Blaze grunted loudly when Yellow jumped off a large building and stomped down on his nose, cracking something in his body. Yellow yelped and continued to run off in another direction, turning to his right.

"Blaze!! Are you okay?"

"…No." whined Blaze, coughing.

"He's going for the Ricco Harbor portal!" shouted Kooper, pointing in the direction of the Tanooki shine sprite shop.

Yellow looked behind him really quickly before jumping into the portal, descending into Ricco Harbor. As they fell inside, they were instantly guided to the salty harbor full of sailor Piantas and bloopers.

"Welcome to Ricco--"

"Get the (censored) out my way!" yelled Yellow, shoving a Pianta on the ground.

"Which way did he go?" asked Mario.

"Over to the blooper boards! You better stop him before he gets to the sewers!"

Yellow grunted as he hopped over three large, thick pieces of log sitting in the water and jumped on the wooden plank with the rideable bloopers.

"Hey! You wanna show your blooper surfin' skills man?" asked Big Daddy, the owner of the bloopers.

Yellow ignored him and jumped on the (obvious) yellow blooper surfboard.

"Hey! You owe me three blue coins!"

"Big Daddy, can we borrow your bloopers for a moment?" asked Mario.

"Just don't wreck 'em!"

Mario, Luigi, Kooper and Geno jumped on the blooper surfboards and turned them on, shouting when the bloopers gunned forward and almost knocked them off balance.

"HOW DO YOU STEER THIS DAMN THING?!?" asked Luigi.

"Just think of them as a jet ski!"

"But I don't know how to ride a jet ski!"

Mario grumbled. "Just lean forward to go faster bro!"

The team stopped moving when they lost track of Yellow and looked left and right while their bloopers bubbled in the water.

"Now…where did the little ninjakoopa go?"

Everyone spun around when Yellow zoomed right past them at lightning speed.

"There he is!"

"LET'S GET HIM!!"

The heroes chased after Yellow once again, jumping over submarines and buoys placed in the water. Luigi screeched his blooper around a buoy and almost crashed when he came into contact with the obstruction. Meanwhile, Kooper was headed right for Yellow, almost approaching him from behind. But at the last second, Yellow veered his blooper surfboard left and hopped over a submarine. Kooper followed him and jumped over the submarine…just when Yellow was headed right towards him. Yellow did a sharp U-turn and hopped over the submarine the same time Kooper did. Only, Yellow held out one of his legs and made sure Kooper's face was right in front of it. Kooper opened his mouth wide, as though to scream, and Yellow kicked him right in the teeth. Kooper instantly flipped over and fell off the surfboard, landing in the water while the blooper crashed into a boat.

"KOOPER!" shouted Geno.

Kooper surfaced from the bay and inhaled loudly, taking a breath of fresh air.

"I'm fine! Just go after Yellow; I'll catch up!" said Kooper.

The gang could see Yellow hop off his blooper board and run back to the starting point of the Harbor, entering the portal that led back to Delfino Plaza. Geno, Mario, and Luigi entered as well. The second they morphed back into reality at the Plaza, Yellow doused Geno with a bucket full of acid, leading him to fall on the ground screaming. His body was slowly deteriorating.

"Just go! I have ultra shrooms; I'll be fine!" said Geno, holding his acidic face.

And so, Mario and Luigi ran back to the Pianta statue and stopped to take a breath when they lost Yellow once again.

"You'd think, out of everyone in the Koopa Bros. family, you wouldn't expect Yellow and Black to be a real hardass to catch."

"Guess we shouldn't judge shells by their texture, huh?" said Mario.

"Don't you mean books by their covers?"

"What?"

Blaze gasped loudly and ran back over to the Mario Bros.

"Get on my back so we can catch Yellow. I run faster than you guys and if you remember, I squirt juices from my stomach through my mouth after I eat fruit."

"Oh yeah! I remember that!"

Mario ran away for a minute and returned with a coconut and Blaze devoured the large green fruit, turning bright pink.

"Why'd you feed me a coconut? I'm pink now!"

"So?"

"Pink makes me feel…gay. Like all my manhood is slowly drifting away--I suddenly want to watch Sex in the City."

Mario huffed and said, "Fine, I'll go get you a papaya." and ran away to grab an oddly shaped yellow fruit. Blaze swallowed the fruit and turned orange, feeling manlier all of a sudden.

"Okay, let's go."

Mario hopped on top of Blaze and began to sprint down the walkways of Delfino Plaza, reaching the entrance of the Plaza and running into the two cops again, who were on the ground with lumps on their heads.

"Which way did he go?"

The orange cop groaned and said, "He's…on the rooftops."

Blaze jumped on an umbrella covering a set of dining tables like a patio and flipped himself onto the rooftops of Delfino Plaza. They looked left and right and finally found Yellow walking on the roof, panting and sweating like a grease monkey.

"I got this."

Blaze opened his mouth and squirted orange juice from his stomach. It sounded weird whenever Yoshis spat out juice. It wasn't like they were vomiting juice, but the noise just sounded annoying, like they were gurgling mouthwash or treading way too much water. Nevertheless, spitting juice was very affective when it came to cleaning up goop and the juice Blaze spat out hit Yellow right in the back, launching him off the roof.

"GOTCHA!!" yelled Blaze, running back down to the street.

"Good. I'm getting really tired of all this running around."

But when the gang got back down to the street, they found Luigi lying on the ground, bleeding with a few Piantas surrounding him and giving him aid.

"What happened?!"

"The son of a bitch clocked me in the head from behind…started hitting me in the face with his shell. You better be careful when you catch him bro." warned Luigi.

Mario and Blaze nodded their heads and continued with the chase, spotting Yellow running along the rooftops of Delfino Plaza, panting so hard they could faintly hear him breathing even though they were a roof away. Blaze jumped from rooftop to rooftop, hovering and flying in the air by kicking his feet rapidly in order to pursue Yellow. But at Yellow's rate, it didn't take them long to corner him on a rooftop that was right next to the Shine Gate.

"End of the road Yellow!" shouted Blaze.

"_Mario!_" shouted F.L.U.D.D, Mario's water cleansing device.

Apparently, F.L.U.D.D made its way to the rooftops after hearing all the commotion and began to investigate. But due to Yellow's lightning fast reflexes, he snatched the cleaning device away and strapped it onto his back, squirting Mario and Blaze in the face. While Mario was merely drenched in water, Blaze was knocked into the river, having trouble swimming back to the surface.

"BLAZE!" shouted Mario.

Yellow continued to squirt Mario with a ton of liquid and then switched F.L.U.D.D's nozzle so it was a rocket nozzle. Yellow charged up F.L.U.D.D and shot himself all the way to the top of the Shine Gate, chucking the device aside.

"_Mario!_"

"Just get on my back so we can catch him!" shouted Mario, strapping F.L.U.D.D to his back.

F.L.U.D.D had no idea what was happening, but it had a feeling that Mario was in really deep trouble so it decided to help him. Mario turned on the rocket nozzle and blasted his way up to the Shine Gate. However, when he was about to fall down, Yellow shot his shell at him while he was in mid-air and bounced back next to the pipe connecting to Pianta Village. Mario fell hundreds of feet back down into the water, screaming along the way before he touched down with a thunderous splash. Mario resurfaced next to a wet Blaze, looking up to see Yellow running away to a place that was obscure from their vision.

"Damnit! We lost him!"

"Look on the bright side: We're in Isle Delfino! YAY PARTY!!!" said Blaze.

"Shut up."

* * *

Yellow finally stopped running and collapsed to the ground, exhausted. He ran so far from Shine Gate he wasn't even sure where he was anymore. All he knew was that he was standing on the top of a building or shack overlooking down on a large village. Yellow took many huge breaths before he inhaled and exhaled loudly, finally relieved. Yellow got back to his feet and looked left and right at his surroundings, trying to figure out what he should do now. He sighed and shut his eyes to ponder the situation…just in time for a dark figure to wrap fiber wire around his neck. Yellow gagged and whined loudly, trying to fight his assailant.

"How's it goin' Yellow? You having a nice vacation?"

"Bowser, I swear I was never gonna--"

"No, it's Trowzer you little gnat! You know how much trouble you're in now?"

"Trowzer--"

"There's no use talking about it!"

"The KPA kidnapped me, forced me to sabotage the siege otherwise my brothers and I would go to jail on a drug charge. I accepted it at first, but when we did the robbery, Black had another set of explosives so when the bank blew up, the agents inside died and they never found your bank accounts."

It was amazing how quickly Yellow said that whole statement. He started to get teary-eyed and began to talk with a whiny voice.

"They never found anything okay?! Your records are safe; no one knows anything!!!"

"You saw my files! You went into my room and you saw everything! My secret hiding spot; all my plans on how to rule this world and crush my brother; all the assassinations and hits of the people I've placed!"

"I DIDN'T KNOW!!"

Trowzer chuckled evilly. "It doesn't matter. I was gonna kill you anyways."

Trowzer tightened the fiber wire and Yellow gasped with an airy tone, almost unable to breathe.

"If it makes you happier, your brothers will be joining you soon."

Trowzer knocked Yellow to the ground and tightened the wire so much that Yellow's neck was slowly turning red. He was strangling him…very hard at that. Yellow was grabbing his neck, groaning and whining in a weak tone with his eyes nearly bulging out of his head. Yellow tried to grab one of Trowzer's hands, but he was too weak to do anything. All Yellow could do was lie there as he slowly suffocated with one of Trowzer's feet planted on his shell. After a good 30 seconds, Yellow succumbed to the strangulation and collapsed face down to the ground. Trowzer placed his fingers on his neck to see if there was a pulse. There wasn't. Trowzer sighed heavily and walked down a set of stairs, leaving Yellow's corpse on the top of the building.

He was dead.


	25. Spit Bug

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Steve, Green and Black talk about their late brothers, while Mario and the gang are forced to ask the local law enforcements for help.

**Spit Bug**

Green and Black were sitting down inside one of Trowzer's chambers away from the rest of his forces. The room they were in was pretty huge, but abandoned and very depressing. If anyone walked inside the chamber, an overwhelming sensation of sorrow would wash over them and memories of their worst moments in life would come about. The room was cold and the only lighting was the chandeliers on the walls lit with bluish-green flames. There was also the moonlight and the lava boiling around the castle, but other than that, the room wasn't radiant. Green and Black didn't feel like doing anything at the moment but mourning Yellow's death. It took a while before either one of them said anything.

"I…I can't believe he's gone dude…"

"I know. Just a few days ago he was working with us side-by-side, having the time of his life. Now…he's pushing up daisies."

"No he's not; he's pushing up dirt." said Black.

Green tapped his hand on the table a few times before he sighed heavily, holding back his tears.

"Normally I'd make a smart-ass comment about how dumb you just sounded…but now's not the time for that." said Green, his voice choking.

"Yeah…no one likes a smart-ass Green."

"…Right…"

"You know…you wanna know the one thing I want to know?"

"What?"

"How Red's takin' it. After he found out, he got angry and just stormed off and hasn't even called or left a note."

"Red's probably at his angry place. You know how he gets Black."

* * *

In reality, Red was at the edge of some industrial city inside of a hotel, drinking like a fish. Along with his beer consumption were massive bawling and tears. He was crying so much his eyes were red and almost swollen. Some of the neighboring residents had to tell him to quiet down due to the noise. Whenever he wasn't crying, he was drinking…heavily. Ironic how the leader, more importantly, the most badass Koopa Bros., was the one who took Yellow's death the hardest. Green and Black didn't even cry; they just got choked up and their eyes began to water. A few tears were spotted here and there, but they weren't bawling like Red was right now.

* * *

While Green and Black were mourning Yellow, Steve came in carrying a couple of bob-ombs.

"Hey guys."

"Sup?" said the Koopa Bros. in a melancholy tone.

Steve tossed the bob-ombs aside and sat down next to them.

"You uh…wanna talk about it?"

"How could anyone possibly know what we're going through right now? I know you're trying to help, but no thanks Steve." said Black.

"…Apparently you guys forgot I had a brother too, who was murdered just like Yellow was. And don't forget Lemmy and his brothers and Wendy just lost Iggy. I know exactly what you're going through."

"Wait a second, you had a brother?!"

"Don't ruin it." growled Steve.

"It's just hard. We've never lost someone close to us before. Our parents are still alive and over half our friends are too. I've lost a couple of bob-omb friends, but their bob-ombs; they're supposed to explode and die." said Green.

"Not if they're bob-omb buddies." added Black.

"Ignore him. Okay, the first thing you need to do is not blame yourself. Right now, you're probably thinking 'I should've been there.' or 'It should've been me.' and 'I could've done more to help him.' but the truth is, there was nothing you could do. You weren't the one who strangled your brother to death and I wasn't the one who bludgeoned my brother to death with a baseball bat so when you stop thinking that, you'll feel better."

"You don't understand; Yellow called Red not long before he died and told him he was going on vacation and said that he loved us. The only time he says that is if he's drunk, if he's in trouble and it's the only way to get him out of trouble, or if we just saved him from public embarrassment."

Steve shrugged. "How would you know what he meant by that? Like I said, you didn't garrote him, so stop blaming yourself."

Black and Green sighed. "Well, it does make me feel better blaming someone else." said Black.

"Okay. The second thing you need to do is remember the good times you had with Yellow and cherish those memories, because no one can take that away unless they brainwash you."

Black and Green chuckled. "What good memories?! He was whinin' or bitchin' half the time! We always teased him and played pranks on him and he always got us back everytime. And we'd always play a prank that was even worse than the one before!"

"Like what?"

"Squirting water at the bottom of his shell so it looked like he peed himself…and then he cried so hard he did pee himself."

"Putting itching powder inside his bandanna so when he put it on, his eyes would itch,"

"Eating his bacon when he wasn't looking,"

"Farting on his nose when he was sleeping,"

"Giving him countless Dutch Ovens,"

"Dousing his underwear with maple syrup,"

"Stealing his shell so he walked around naked,"

"Telling him a shark was in the bathtub,"

"Peeing on him while he was sleeping,"

"Farting in his tent when we went camping and zipping him up inside,"

"And who could forget the countless number of times Black has made Yellow sniff the inside of his shoes? Or even worse, his socks."

"…Okay, so you guys treated your brother like (censored). But that's okay; I've done the same thing to Kasey too. I teased him and beat him up and wrestled him over the last piece of pork chop and gave him Dutch Ovens too. But no matter what I did, we still had our good moments. It's not like you guys peed in his cereal bowl."

"Red did that." said Green.

"…Okay, well it's not like you put a lobster in his shell so it snap his (censored) or his balls."

"I did that twice." said Black.

"A guy got castrated because he was stupid enough to steal a lobster by putting it in his pants." said Steve.

"Yeah, I know."

"We still did it."

Steve sighed heavily. "Well…it's not like you T-Bagged him."

Black slowly shifted in his chair and started whistling nonchalantly to himself.

"Are you (censored) kidding me Black? You T-Bagged your brother?!" asked Steve.

"I thought it was funny!"

"You put your balls in his mouth! How's that even remotely funny?! Any higher and you would've orally raped him!"

"Calm down! All I did was stuck 'em in there and took a picture."

"That's even worse! How did Yellow stand you guys?!"

"I told you, he got us back everytime." said Green.

"ARGH! Okay, ignore good moments. There's other ways to feel better about yourself."

"Like what?"

"Blowin' (censored) up. Nothing makes me happier than blasting one of Bowser's churro carts with bob-ombs."

"That's true." said Black.

"And also, there are two things you gotta remember: There will be a day where you will look the killer in the eye, dunk his or her head in a pool of acid, and (censored) on his or her corpse so he or she will stink to high heaven."

"What else?"

"Yellow is in Heaven right now, looking down at you two, happy that you're still alive and you still remember him. If he's not doing that, he's at a strip club with Kasey getting endless lap dances and BJs from the sexiest koopas you can imagine, partying his ass off. Either way you put it, he's happy."

"What if he's in Hell?" asked Black.

"You would ask that." said Green.

"Then he's painfully getting his flesh devoured by demons whose names I can't pronounce while Lucifer sucks on his sac and maims his testes."

Green and Black's eyes grew wide.

"...Let's go with the first thing you said."

"Ditto."

* * *

Mario and the gang were resting in Hotel Delfino patching up their wounds and resting. After losing track of Yellow on the Shine Gate, the team decided to rest for now and worry about catching him later. Mario, his brother and Geno were resting inside, sitting on the pool chairs while Blaze and Kooper were slacking off once again, sunbathing in the sand with their shoes off. Luigi groaned and put a bag of ice on his head. Amazingly, most of Geno's face was back to normal since he ate over five ultra shrooms.

"You guys need anything else?" asked the hotel manager.

"No, we're fine."

"A shroom steak would be nice…" said Luigi.

"I'll get right on that." said the manager, walking away.

Mario lay back on the chair and sighed, coming up with an ultimatum.

"We gotta go see the cops."

"What?!"

"Mario, you can't be serious. Since when does the Great Plumber rely on law enforcement for help?" asked Geno.

"With Yellow gone, we have no leads about Bowser and his plans regarding taking over Isle Delfino. There's no arrow, no dramatic music, no Twink appearing from the sky, nothing."

"What if Bowser has a cop within—"

"We are talking about Bowser, bro. You really think he's smart enough to plant a mole within the Delfino Police Department?"

"…Good point."

* * *

The next morning, Mario and the gang arrived at the DPD HQ and were sitting down in front of the captain's main desk, ready to reveal their information to him. The captain looked like the rest of the Piantas, having a small palm tree resting on his scalp and had blue skin that looked blubbery and fat.

"Well it looks like you guys have been causing a stir in Isle Delfino. First you lead a short chase through the Delfino Plaza, then you take some of Big Daddy's blooper surfboards and crash some of them into the docks. After that, it seems you were ambushed by a yellow koopa."

"Yeah, his name's Yellow. We were chasing him to try and uncover another link with Bowser, but we lost him in the confusion and got our asses kicked." said Luigi.

"No, _y'all _got your asses kicked; I just fell off a surfboard." Kooper pointed out.

"Well, this guy didn't get very far. A couple of Piantas in Pianta Village found his body. Strangled."

Even Mario and his gang were shocked at Yellow's death.

"Yellow's dead??" asked Geno.

"And get this: Couple of Bzzaps! pecked out his eyeballs."

Luigi shut his eyes and mouthed the word, "Ow." while Mario and Kooper muttered, "Cool."

"What is a Bzzap! anyway?" asked Blaze.

"Think of a bumblebee the size of Mario with a stinger the size of a Playstation 2."

"Ouch! That must've hurt like (censored)!"

"He was dead before his eyes were gone. Anyway, this koopa you were chasing seems to have been murdered."

"Okay, before you get any bright ideas, we did not kill—"

"I know. You weren't even there. You were too busy getting your 'asses kicked'" said the captain.

"No, _they _got _their_ asses kicked." Kooper retorted.

"You got kicked in the mouth."

"Shut up. At least my face is still intact Geno."

"This doesn't make any sense. The Koopa Bros. were part of Bowser's league. If we didn't kill Yellow and they didn't kill Yellow, that means—"

"There was a third party involved."

"Do you have any leads?" asked Blaze.

"Probably Bowser's half-brother, Trowzer."

Mario sighed. "Him again?"

"Hey, wasn't that the guy who sent that hitkoopa after us? Remember that guy Mallick?" asked Kooper.

"You mean the guy who freaked out and inadvertently blew himself up in Dry Dry Outpost?" asked Luigi.

"Yeah, him! So Bowser's half-brother killed Yellow?"

"How do you know that?" asked Geno.

"We don't. However, when we investigated the crime scene, the only witnesses said they saw a hefty reptile figure wearing a huge shell that might've had spikes coming out the back. And when we observed some of the foot prints left in the dirt…my men said they smelled um…horrible."

"Like what exactly?"

"One of my officers went as far as saying the prints smelled like blue cheese and month old sweat socks and the only creature I know of who have feet that smell that vile besides dragons is—"

"Bowser." said Mario and the others in unison.

"Exactly. So unless Bowser hired someone whose feet smell as bad as his, I'm near certain his half-brother killed him. Granted, his son Roy might've been the culprit, but I doubt that."

"Roy might've killed him?"

"Yeah, he hasn't bathed in a month, so I'm sure his feet smell terrible. Again, highly doubtful."

"There's still the possibility that Bowser killed him." said Blaze.

"Dude, think about it! Yellow was killed with a garrote in a secluded location with only a few witnesses and the only evidence the cops have is the culprit's smelly footprint. Do you really think Bowser is smart enough to do all that? Let alone, plan all that?" asked Kooper.

"…True."

"Do you know why Trowzer may have done this?" asked Geno.

"Probably because Yellow was working undercover with the KPA after they coerced him to due to a drug charge. I spoke with them not long ago and they said that they were performing this clandestine operation to discover all the secrets Trowzer has locked away in his bank account codes, laundered money and such. Ironically, Trowzer ordered the Koopa Bros. to blow up the bank on the same night and Yellow was supposed to disarm the detonators. Somewhere down the road, something went wrong, because the bank still exploded and the agents inside were instantly killed."

"That suspicious…"

"It gets better. The same night, Yellow booked a flight to Isle Delfino and started his life on the run. I'm sure he knew that sooner or later, Trowzer or the KPA would find him. It was his sorry luck that Trowzer got to him first."

"So basically, we got no leads."

"No. There were only five people that knew of Trowzer and what was contained within his account codes, all of whom are now dead. Personally, I think you guys are going after the wrong person."

"Trowzer can't be that bad." said Kooper.

"When he was 14, he jammed a CD up someone's ass just because he scratched it. When he was seven, he stabbed some kid in the eye and got sent to juvenile hall. And this is just his adolescent years; I don't even want to get started on his current lifestyle."

"But I don't understand! This guy is related to Bowser, shouldn't they be on the same level of evilness and stupidity?" asked Mario.

"No. Trowzer's a criminal lord, not just some fat, stupid koopa trying to take over the Mushroom Kingdom. He launders money, recruits mercenaries and hitkoopas, organizes missions of sabotage, tames dragons, I can go on. The guy is trying to rule the world and doesn't care who gets in his way. Yellow wasn't the first person he's killed since he's taken power…"

"You mind giving us an example?" asked Blaze.

"There's this guy the KPA has been watching for a while, a real slob of a magikoopa named Darrik. One of their spies saw Doopliss enter Darrik's house and not a moment later, he ran out in a state of panic. When the spy went to Darrik's house to investigate, he found his jaw on the floor. We have no idea what happened to Darrik, but he must've know something near and dear to Trowzer if his forces went far enough to ripping his jaw off. He's even responsible for the death of one of Bowser's kids."

Mario and the gang chuckled to themselves.

"He didn't do that, we did." said Blaze.

"…So you planted bombs in the engine room of Iggy's airship?" asked the captain.

"No, we just messed up the boilers and shut off the engines." said Mario.

"That's not what the forensic team found…"

Mario and the gang began to ponder for a moment, realizing the dangerous anomaly they just stumbled upon. They had been framed. Iggy's death would spark a fire within Bowser and his siblings' brains and cause them to go on a manhunt for Mario…which is exactly what Trowzer wanted.

"Son of a bitch—he's framing us!" said Geno.

"How?" asked Mario.

"Isn't it obvious? Trowzer had one of his agents sneak onto Iggy's airship, planted the bombs in the engine room, and then parachuted off before we spotted him! Then he set the bombs off after we already screwed up the engine room so it looked like we were the ones who sent Iggy to his death. Now we have to worry about Bowser and his infuriated siblings and this new contender Trowzer."

"…Or we could sit back and enjoy our vacation in Isle Delfino while Trowzer kills his half-brother and his family." suggested Kooper.

"That's not gonna work! Once Bowser and his kids are dead, Trowzer's coming for us. He probably already is; that guy Mallick tried to kill you guys already from what you've told me and he was working for Trowzer, right?" said Blaze.

"…So what are we supposed to do?"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Trowzer's castle, Trowzer was handing a couple of moneybags to one of his mercenaries, a dark koopa named Elark.

"So there were no hitches in the plan, right?" asked Trowzer.

"You know how I work. I don't stop until I find my target and take it out. It's what bounty koopas do."

Trowzer chuckled. "I suppose you're right. Pretty clever of you pretending to be a part of Bowser's entourage."

"How else was I supposed to plant the bombs without being spotted? Parachuting was the hard part. It's not easy to safely land in Pyramid Park without those chain-chomps catching wind of your scent."

"Maybe I'll be requiring your services in the future…" contemplated Trowzer.

"Yes, you have plenty of money to go around!" he chuckled.

Elark took his moneybags and walked out of Trowzer's chamber while Trowzer took out his cellphone and made a phone call.

"How's it going over there?"

The creature on the other end of the line was talking inside a dark office with the door locked. The creature laughed.

"They don't even know about me yet. I thought the Great Plumber would be able to see through me."

"So your cover's intact?"

"Yes. There's no evidence pointing out that I was the one who set the bombs on Iggy's airship." said Blaze.

Trowzer chuckled evilly. "Everything's going as planned."

"…Not exactly. The DPD did inform Mario and his gang about you and they're pretty confident that you were the one who murdered Yellow and hired someone to kill Iggy."

"Why didn't you stop them?!" growled Trowzer.

"I'm in a police station! What do you want me to do, wave two Uzis around and hope a Pianta officer doesn't blast my brains away with a shotgun?"

"Mario and his cronies knowing about me don't help the situation, now does it?

"Trowzer, they think I'm with them. They think I'm on their side. All you gotta do is tell me to kill them and I'll do it."

"And you won't have any problems?"

Blaze scoffed. "It's a koopa, a doll, and two plumbers."

"They have done sufficient damage to Bowser's league. Not to mention they blew one of my hitkoopas sky high."

"Trowzer you're talking to a guy who can fart fire out of his ass."

"My brother and I do that too."

"Shut up."

"Just pan this out a little longer. In due time, you'll be able to kill Mario and his partners. For now…we need to begin Phase Two of our plan."

"Gotcha."

Blaze hung up his cellphone and returned to Mario and the rest of the gang, sitting back down in front of the DPD captain in a casual fashion.


	26. The Koopranos, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 1. A drunken Red is approached by Trowzer, who has a very important mission for him. Elsewhere, Ludwig starts an investigation by himself regarding the death of Iggy Koopa and disappearance of Darrik.

**A/N: As you can tell by the title, this is a parody of The Sopranos.**

**The Koopranos (Part 1)**

It had been almost 24 hours now since Red left the Koopa Bros. back at Trowzer's fortress and he was still feeling as crappy as ever. His sobbing had finally ceased and all the alcohol was finally kicking in. He was lying on the bed in his motel with an empty glass bottle hanging from his lifeless fingers. The apartment wasn't very luxurious and was all broken up and shattered, consisting of several planks of dry wood and windows that looked like they were made of dirt. The bed Red was lying on had some stains on it and smelled weird, which contributed to the foul odor of the room. Every now and then a cockroach or an alley rat would scamper across the floor and Red would simply follow it with his eyes, not caring in the least. The toilet was all broken down and almost never flushed; the handle always kept falling off. But Red didn't care. All he wanted to do was drink and lie down until he felt better or just died.

The red-shelled koopa heard a loud clatter from outside of his apartment and he opened his red veiny eyes, looking up and down. He moaned in a slurred voice and dropped the empty beer bottle, gradually lifting his head from the pillow. He grunted and sat up, looking ahead of himself and staring at the beat up wall, blinking twice. He felt something rattle around in his skull and his head began to throb like crazy. Red slouched over and fell on the floor, muttering, "Ouch." in such a slurred way it sounded like he gurgled. He was suffering a major hangover. Red started breathing heavily as his stomach groaned loudly at him and the koopa began to sweat. He lifted his head and tried to calm himself down by breathing in and out, but it wasn't calming him down that much. Red abruptly vomited on the floor in front of him, spewing yellow and purple colored gunk and acid from his mouth and coughing four times afterwards. He tried standing back up, but he felt sick again so he belched out some more multi-colored vomit from his maw, coughing violently. Red rubbed his head and stood up on his two feet, edging his way toward the door of his apartment.

Red opened up the door and started strolling through the hallway with weak knees, hiccupping and muttering slurred words. That's when he saw a sexy koopa with a long ponytail and green shell and shoes on walking through the same hallway. Red, despite not wearing his shell or shoes and suffering from a major hangover, decided to approach the beautiful koopa.

"Hey sexy…what's-HIC-what's a fine-lookin' thing like you doin'-HIC-doin' round these parts?"

The koopa took one look at Red and continued walking away, ignoring what looked like a common bum.

"Hey! Where-where-where you goin'? HIC-these parts-HIC-these parts aren't what you uh…you call barren. I-I mean err-HIC-safe. You-you you…should come with me-HIC-in uh…my…place…"

Red then guffawed and sighed heavily, literally drooling over the female koopa.

"Give me one good reason why I should stay with an intoxicated koopa such as yourself."

Red lazily walked over to the koopa and hiccupped again, planting a hand on her shoulder.

"Because…I'm a-HIC-nice…guy. And the world is-is so much happier with nice-HIC-and happy…people…"

"Really?"

"No; I just-just said that so I-HIC-can get in your shell and (censored) you."

Red inadvertently burped in the koopa's face and she veered her head back and plugged her nose, wafting the smell away.

"EWW!!!"

"Let's have a kiss eh?"

Red puckered up his lips to kiss the koopa, but his nausea acted up again and he wound up vomiting all on the koopa's chest, making her scream in disgust.

"I luv you."

The koopa took out pepper spray composed of the pellets from Fire Flowers and sprayed him in the face, burning his already maimed retinas before she ran away. Red covered his eyes and hollered at the top of his lungs, walking forwards and slipping in a puddle of his own puke. The TMNT posing koopa was on the ground whining and groaning as tears streamed down his face. Red slowly opened his eyes and looked up to see a large figure standing over him. He couldn't tell who it was because his vision was blurred, but there was only one other person he knew of who wore a shell of that size.

"Hi, Red. Nice to see you're not taking your brother's death so hard." said Trowzer.

"HIC! You don't have any beer, do you?"

Trowzer picked up a filthy Red and escorted him back to his hotel room, locking his door and shoving him onto his bed. Trowzer found a chair without any weird stains or blotches on it and sat down, sighing heavily.

"So this is how you plan on spending the rest of your life? Drinking until you pass out in your own vomit?"

"I'm-I'm-I'm not drunk-HIC-I just has…wax in my stomach…and a speech impediment…"

Red slouched off the bed again.

"…And I'm severely uncoordinated."

Trowzer sighed heavily and got off the chair, heading towards the fridge.

"Why-why you goin'-HIC-through the toilet?"

"This is the fridge Red, not the toilet."

"…That can't be good…"

"Look it's not like I haven't been in the position you're in right now."

"Sure, you can-HIC-can talk; you brother…still alive."

"There was this chick I knew and uh…well when you fall in love with someone…"

Trowzer started drifting off and got back to what he was talking about with Red.

"Look I need you to do a little something for me."

"But I'm drunk and dehydrated. How can I—"

Red yelped when Trowzer threw a cup of hot coffee into Red's face.

"What the hell was that for?!"

"To get you sober again."

"But only-HIC-only time makes someone sober!"

Red yelped again when Trowzer tossed another hot cup of coffee into his face.

"DUDE!!"

"I know this doesn't make you sober, but that doesn't mean it's not effective."

"Throwing hot coffee into my face—"

Red yelped once more when Trowzer chucked another cup of coffee into his eyes, practically blinding him.

"STOP THROWING COFFEE IN MY FACE!!!"

"Okay."

Red sighed heavily and wiped the hot liquid off his forehead…only to scream when Trowzer whacked a glass bottle against his cranium. Red fell to the floor and started crying and whimpering.

"Sober yet?"

* * *

Elsewhere, Ludwig von Koopa was resting in his room with all the lights off and his head on his desk. Like Red, Ludwig hadn't taken the death of his brother very well at all and was in some sort of deep depression. He hadn't bawled like a baby or drunk himself sick, but he was definitely upset. While he was resting in his room, one of his brothers decided to pay him a visit.

"Hey Ludwig, you want to go see how we can strike back at Mario?" asked Morton.

"No…"

"Sitting in the dark isn't gonna bring him back Ludwig. You know that."

"So you think taking revenge on Mario will? Just leave me alone Morton."

"Look I know you're upset now but—"

"Just go."

Morton scoffed to himself and left Ludwig inside his room, shutting his door. The musical koopa put his head back down on his desk and sighed heavily, reminiscing on all of the past memories he had with Iggy. In the middle of nowhere, Ludwig's cellphone started to ring and an irritated koopa snatched the phone up, pressing the talk button.

"What?!"

Someone was breathing and panting loudly over the phone and it sounded like a pervert was on the other end.

"This isn't a sex line pervert!"

"No, it's me Ludwig, Doopliss!"

"Freak-in-the-Sheet?"

Doopliss sighed exasperatedly. "Yes."

"Why are you calling me right now?"

"Because you're the smartest one in your family second to Iggy and no one else will listen to me!"

"People call you Freak-in-the-Sheet; of course no one listens to you."

"Well you know what, I think someone's following me and I've been on the run for the last 24 hours!"

"Where are you?"

"I don't even know anymore! I think I ended up in Dry Dry Ruins! There's buzzy beetles everywhere and a bunch of these swoopers—"

"I'm hangin' up the phone."

"NO!!! Damnit, you have to listen to me!"

"…Okay."

"You know about the investigation Bowser sent me and Darrik on to find out what Trowzer was planning and if he was going against his brother?"

"Yeah."

"Well I found his cellphone and gave it to Darrik to see if he would be able to find valuable information on it."

"So what happened?"

Doopliss sighed. "I think Trowzer had him killed. I went to his house and I found his jaw on the floor. His friggin' jaw was on the floor Ludwig! How is someone capable of tearing a jaw clean off?!"

"I take it you haven't seen a red chomp before."

"Isn't it a helluva coincidence that Darrik and I are the only ones who know about the secret plan and just when we find something useful, Darrik disappears and the phone is nowhere to be found?"

"That's not true, Bowser authorized it and he's not dead, now is he?"

"Think about it Ludwig! It's so obvious it's Trowzer that it _is _Trowzer!"

"I thought it was the other way around?"

"No it's not. And besides, Trowzer is not stupid enough to go after his brother on the first day! He'd probably go after his family first like Junior or Roy or Iggy or—"

Doopliss stopped talking and Ludwig's eyes grew wide with dread. Maybe he was right all along. After all, Mario hadn't stooped as low as killing Bowser's siblings before, so why would he start now? Not only that, but Ludwig knew that Iggy would've built some sort of failsafe inside his ship so he would escape if something went wrong. Everything just seemed too obvious to be true.

"…Didn't Bowser say one of his sons just died?"

"Yeah…Iggy died when his airship crashed into the ground because Mario and his gang screwed up the engine…"

"…I should go now—"

"Yeah."

Doopliss hung up his cellphone and threw it against the wall, shattering it and running out of the Ruins. Meanwhile, Ludwig hung up his own cellphone and started to ponder on all the information that he received from Doopliss. It was very weird how Darrik disappeared when all of this mess began, even weirder how most of it happened on the same day, but perhaps Doopliss was just paranoid. Nevertheless, he couldn't help but wonder why there wasn't even an attempt to escape the falling airship. Ludwig got out of his desk and twisted the knob on his door, slowly opening it up and getting outside of his room. He looked left and right to see if anyone was observing his room and walked down the corridor as stealthily as possible. There was only one person he could talk to now…

* * *

After several other painful attempts, Red was now "sober" and was wearing his red shell and shoes with the bandanna around his eyes. Trowzer and Red were outside in the middle of the night observing the inhabitants of a diner across from them. By the sounds of it, there was a loud party going on.

"Are you absolutely sure you're sober now?" asked Trowzer.

"YES!! God, I'm not drunk anymore! Although I think there's glass in my eye…" said Red, rubbing his eyes.

"This is partially my fault with what happened to your brother."

"What?"

"I got some Intel from an informant of mine that there was cop hunting us down within the KPA. This officer was really dirty and as far as I know, and I have a feeling he's trying to take over my organization."

"So what happened?"

"Four agents kidnapped Yellow and threatened to kill him unless he deactivated the detonators you and your team were going to use to blow up that bank. They wanted to steal all of the money and account codes I had stored there."

"Are you telling me my brother sold out his own—"

"Of course he didn't. He panicked and came straight to me and told me what happened. I told him to go with the plan and comply with the agents' requests so he could get deeper within the organization. Unfortunately, your brother Black blew up the bank anyway and all the agents inside died."

"This-this doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't Yellow tell us what happened?"

"I thought about it, but if anyone else found out I had Yellow working as a double agent, things could've gone horribly awry. I guess Yellow freaked out and left after those agents died."

Red sighed and almost whined to himself. "That's why he called me that night…he knew something bad was gonna happen to him."

"I guess after the agents died, their leader must've found out about Yellow and assumed he had something to do with it, so he killed him."

Red was clutching the ground with both hands, panting heavily and growling.

"I really am sorry Red. If I had known I was sending Yellow to his death, I never would've put him up to it. But I had to find out who was out to get me and my empire."

"No, no it's not your fault. You weren't the one who strangled him to death."

Trowzer smiled slyly and stared at Red. He had just lied out of his ass and Red bought everything he told him. Even though some of Trowzer's points made no sense whatsoever, Red was too simple-minded and angry to care. He just wanted the person who killed Yellow dead.

"So what's this guy's name again?"

"Parker. They're celebrating his promotion tonight…just became sergeant today."

"Is that him?! With the purple cake all over his face?!?!" shouted a now fully angered koopa.

Trowzer and Red witnessed a gray-shelled koopa dunk his head into a large purple cake and emerge with frosting all over his head and face, laughing raucously.

"Well I don't know-well…he might be. Of course it could be that guy over…"

Trowzer looked more closely at the party and saw the koopa brandish a shiny new badge around.

"Yeah, yeah that's him."

Trowzer stopped talking momentarily and stared at Red.

"So…I know who's been trying to take me out…and you know who killed your brother. You can take it from there."

Trowzer patted Red on the back three times before he walked away. When Red looked in the back of his shell, he was surprised that Trowzer left a gun for him to use. Red looked at Parker and growled gutturally, following him out of the diner when the party ended. The koopa didn't have any vehicle as far as Red could tell so (being a ninja) he was able to stealthily follow Parker all the way to his house, observing him open up his front door with his keys. Red quickly ran over to the back of the house and picked the lock with a small shard of metal he had in his shell, gaining access to the house. Red crept through the kitchen and saw Parker whistling to himself as he walked inside. He lifted the gun into the air and bashed Parker across the head with it, knocking him out.

* * *

Two hours later, Parker groaned loudly and his blurry vision soon became clear. He was staring at Red who was sitting on the chair in front with the TV on in the living room. Red was scratching his head with his gun while Parker had a huge lump on his forehead, courtesy of Red. Parker looked left and right and started talking to Red.

"Uh…do I know you?"

"You're a cop."

Red was repeatedly tossing Parker's badge between his fingers. Parker looked in his left direction and noticed his left wrist was handcuffed to the railing on the stairs. He shook his hand several times and tried to get free, but to no avail.

"Okay, what's goin' on?"

"Why don't you ask my dead brother Yellow when I send you to him?"

Parker raised an eyebrow. "Who's Yellow?"

"You wanted to take over my boss's empire so you hired four thugs to kidnap Yellow and threatened to kill him unless your agents could steal from his bank we were planning on blowing up. Apparently, your agents didn't make it out alive and you didn't get your money, so you killed Yellow in Isle Delfino. That sound about right?"

Parker sighed. "I don't know who you're talking—"

Red bashed Parker upside the head with his gun and started breathing heavily.

"He was a double agent you son of a bitch! He was trying to find out why you were taking over Trowzer's crew and—"

"Trowzer?"

"—you found out about it and killed him."

"That's not true. Yes, I had some agents kidnap him—"

Red inhaled sharply and growled at Parker. "You just told on yourself."

"Let-let me finish. Yes, I had some agents kidnap him and yes, I forced him to disarm the bombs, but I'm not corrupt. I wanted the agents to sift through Trowzer's bank records so we could find evidence that proves he was involved with organized crime so we could take him down later. If you and your brothers hadn't set off those bombs…"

Red didn't listen and waved the gun in front of Parker's face.

"You're being set up! Whoever sent you here to do this is fooling you with faulty information and you're playing right into it!! Maybe I did get your brother killed for having him work for us and for that I'm sorry, but I did not personally kill him nor did I order his death."

Red lowered his pistol and started to think for a moment about what the officer told him, but he merely sighed heavily and scratched his head.

"It doesn't matter. He wants you dead."

"All right, look, look, look. I just bought an authentic and rare blue Surfer Blooper; it's yours. I-I got a (censored)load of cash in my bank account right now; I just bought a watch—"

Red stared at Parker and cocked his pistol.

"YOU DON'T WANT A COP KILL ON YOUR HEAD!!"

Red scoffed. "You really think I give a (censored)?"

Red walked over to Parker's stereo and turned it on, popping in a Green Day CD and switching the song to American Idiot, gradually turning up the volume until it was at max. Red turned around with a wide, devious smile on his maw and walked over to Parker. The KPA sergeant grunted several times until he broke the bar he was handcuffed to completely off. He started panting and began to crawl to the wall.

"I'm sorry! Sorry. I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!!"

Two gunshots went off in the midst of Parker's house and two white flashes appeared outside of his house. Parker tried to acquire a pistol he had hidden underneath a chair towards his window, but Red got to him first and shot him twice in the face, killing him instantly. The ninjakoopa kneeled down to look at Parker and stared into his lifeless eyes for a while until he was confident that the KPA sergeant was dead. Red stood over his body and smiled widely, chuckling to himself. Before walking out of Parker's house, he stole his badge and chucked it inside of his shell.

* * *

"Hey Black, Green. What's up?" asked Red.

Red had miraculously returned to Trowzer's castle completely sober and feeling content for himself.

"Uh…I thought you were…depressed dude." said Black.

"I just needed a little bit of time guys."

"Yeah, but when we last saw you—"

Red chuckled. "Don't worry about it. It was just a little breakdown, nothing serious. It's not like I was gonna kill myself."

Red flicked a shiny metal object on the table Black and Green were sitting next to and Black picked it up, cocking an eyebrow.

"You got us a present?"

"Yeah. Just a little something to make you guys feel better. It sure as hell helped me out." said Red before walking away.

"Does Red seem a little…happy today?" asked Green.

"I dunno, but who the hell's Parker?"

**To be continued…**


	27. 24 Mushrooms: Prologue

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Recap on the current events.

**A/N: With regards to the badass seventh season ending of the hit series 24, I've decided to make a little Mario parody of that as well. The next several chapters will be told in 24 style format so anyone who has never watched the show before might want to start or else you may get lost. Enjoy!**

**24 Mushrooms: Prologue**

**Previously on 24…I mean, With Big Shells and Wings…**

* * *

"It's time we took a strike back at Mario!"

**Bowser the Koopa King**

"We need to have a colossal amount of contingency plans, one more intense than the first!"

"Cool. Like an endless chain of terrorist cells!" said Wario.

"Exactly!" yelled Ludwig Von Koopa.

"Yes. I should've thought of this before." said Master Hand.

"It all starts tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the day where we strike back at the Mario Bros. and set our plans into play! Then I'll be king of Mushroom Kingdom once and for all! MWAHAHAHA!!"

* * *

"WHAT THE--"

Red Ninjakoopa fired a laser beam right through the toad's head, obliterating a good portion of it.

"NOW GET YOUR SHROOM HEADED ASSES IN THE BUILDING RIGHT NOW!!" he screeched.

**The Koopa Bros.**

"'Dear Mario Bros,

I've captured your pathetic friends and hold them captive inside a secret sewer system located in Toad Town.

-Signed, the Koopa Bros.'"

"Are you serious? I have to fight the Koopa Bros. again? Why do they even bother with kidnapping a bunch of Toads in the first place?!" said Mario.

"Cause they're stupid, that's why." said Luigi.

**The Mario Bros.**

"HEY MARIO!!" yelled Twink.

Twink began to flutter down from the sky towards Mario. He was fully grown and glittering, as he was a Star Spirit now.

"TWINK!! Long time, no see! We were just--"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Listen, someone just told me that the Koopa Bros. just captured everyone in Toad Town and that Bowser formed an alliance with every single bad guy you ever faced!"

"Wait a second! REWIND! REWIND! When did Bowser get a league of super villains?!" asked Mario.

* * *

Mario hit the ? block and it disappeared. No coin or mushroom or other item came out. The Mario Bros. just stood there waiting for something to happen.

"See? Nothing happened!"

As soon as Mario was done, the floor suddenly broke apart and they were hanging in mid-air.

"Told you so."

"Oh shut up!"

Mario and Luigi began to scream loudly as they were free-falling hundreds of feet to the ground. They suddenly hit a rock and began falling down a series of rocky stairs until they were suddenly free-falling again. Eventually, they landed inside a cave with very little light inside.

"WELL LOOK WHAT WE GOT HERE!!" yelled a booming voice.

**Gloomtail **

Mario and Luigi slowly turned around to see Gloomtail standing right next to them and roared in their faces.

"Son of a koopa! We just started our adventure and already we have to fight Gloomtail?! This is bullcrap!"

* * *

"GENO WHIRL!"

**Geno**

"Whuh?" said Gloomtail, stupidly.

Then he saw this orange circular beam of plasma or some other energy source heading right towards his giant dragon body.

"Aw, shi--"

Gloomtail was knocked onto his two hind legs, standing so high that his head broke into the ceiling. A massive wound was on his chest, blood pouring out of it heavily. He made a death roar and collapsed onto his stomach, rumbling the whole cave. He was dead.

"That was…when did you get here Geno?" asked Mario.

"A couple minutes ago. I saw what was happening to you in Star Heaven so I possessed the Geno doll again and fell through the trap door. You guys were taking a serious beating!"

* * *

"Again, why did you turn your castle into a giant cesspool?" asked Larry Koopa.

**The Koopalings**

"Well, since I haven't been showering for the last three months I started wiping all the gunk off my stinky feet and sticking it on the walls and the floor and stuff. Then I captured the piranha plants and made them breathe their bad breath all in the air so it'd stink like crazy." said Roy.

"So that's your plan Roy? You're gonna stink Mario into a coma?" said Larry.

"Pretty much yeah."

All the Koopalings sighed.

"And you said my chocolate idea was stupid." muttered Morton.

* * *

"Uh-oh."

The cave suddenly exploded and Mario, Geno, and Luigi fell through thin air, entering some weird alternate dimension. Their bodies collapsed onto a flat floating futuristic battle arena named Final Destination.

All three of them turned around hearing this dark, menacing laughter and saw a black glove floating and wiggling its fingers in the air. It was Master Hand, now wearing a black glove to show his devotion to the Bowser League. Suddenly the group heard this weird insane laugh and saw this warped and rabid hand shaking like crazy, appearing out of nowhere. It was Master Hand's crazy left brother, Crazy Hand. Two of the hardest bosses that they've faced before were sitting right there, ready to attack.

**Master Hand Bros.**

"Let me get this straight: It's not even chapter six yet and we already have to fight the Master Hand brothers. How (censored) up is that?" said Luigi.

* * *

"So tell me why yet another dragon wants to join my league of international bad guys again?" asked Bowser.

"My name is Sharktail--"

**Sharktail the Dragon**

"Heh, that's a laugh!"

"…I'm Gloomtail's third cousin from Lavalava Island and I want Mario to pay for his death!" shouted Sharktail.

* * *

"I am walking back to the ledge! That's final!"

"No, Red don't!"

As soon as Red took another step forward, gravity began to work and he plummeted to the bottom of the sewer, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"RED! I'll comin' for ya Red! I'm comin!"

Black grunted when he jumped right into the hole…only to fall down on his back.

"What the (censored) man?! Does gravity just shut off on this hole? Maybe if I walk back--"

The second Black tried walking back to the ledge, he fell down the hole, screaming even louder than Red did, splashing in the dirty sewage water.

Red and Black resurfaced from the sewage waste, gasping and panting like crazy.

"Red! Are you okay, man?"

"Think I broke my leg dude…and I think we're stuck down here."

"Well, it can't get any worse than this…"

"BLOOOOOOOPER!!"

* * *

Master Hand was blasted away with the Geno Whirl and he began to explode repeatedly, just like his brother did. Suddenly, everything began to turn white and the platform and the dimension they were trapped in began to deteriorate. The Master Hand Bros. were dead, but Geno and the Mario Bros. were slowly falling down a hole that could've been bottomless for all they knew. They couldn't do anything at all, but fall. Fall into another dimension, fall into the sewers the Koopa Bros. were lost in…even fall right in front of Bowser and his goons. All they did know was that whenever they landed wherever they were going to land, it was going to hurt. A lot.

* * *

"Damnit, damnit, damnit!" yelled Bowser, stamping his foot on the floor repeatedly.

"How do two plumbers and a doll defeat Master & Crazy Hand in one fell swoop?!"

"What about the Koopa Bros. capturing the Toad Town residents and holding them in their castle?"

"We don't know about that current situation right now. They haven't updated us yet."

"So we can assume they failed too. DAMNIT!!" roared Bowser, throwing a chair against the wall.

"I think it's time we came up with another plan."

"Yeah, like my brilliant idea!" said Petey Piranha.

"What idea was that?"

**Petey Piranha**

"Mario's got a band of pirates and sailors on Keelhaul Key…pirates that he put his life on the line to save. Now I got my own little coalition of ravenous different kinds of Piranha Plants that are just dying to take a bite outta someone. So…why don't you let me take my Piranha Plants and get these guys?"

* * *

Mario, Luigi, and Geno landed on their faces on the ground, but they were finally out of the caves now. The gang appeared in the Koopa Village somehow, and Mario landed right on top of Kooper.

"OW! What the hell?"

**Kooper**

"Oh, hey Mario. How's it goin'? …What were you doin' in the sky dude?"

"Complicated. Don't feel like explaining. Bad things are happening right now and we need your help again."

* * *

"Look, I know you want in on this deal--"

"I'm your older brother Bowser. Anything that includes you includes me too."

**Trowzer**

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I want to help you kill this Mario character."

"Trowzer's got this awesome plan to conquer the world and I think you should hear it."

"Right. You kids have all your troops deployed all around Dinosaur Land and other islands, yeah?"

"Yeah." said Wendy.

"Okay then, you keep the troops there while my brother and I figure out what to do with Mario."

"We already planned that." said Morton.

"You didn't plan the aftermath. After Mario's dead, we're gonna use the rest of our soldiers to invade the other islands and conquer even more land. Pretty soon, we'll be able to rule this whole planet. Who knows, maybe we could even travel to other planets and conquer those too."

"Ooh, that sounds good! Dad, why didn't you think of that?" asked Ludwig.

"Wh--I DID!"

"Yeah, well…it didn't work." said Trowzer.

* * *

"Damnit Black, wake up! You are not going to die on me now!" he yelled.

But no matter how many times he pressed down on his chest, Black wouldn't open his eyes or start moving. Red started to get angry and frustrated and started pounding on his chest with his fist.

"WAKE THE (censored) UP!"

Red was two clicks away from jumping on his chest, but he couldn't deal with the fact that he inadvertently killed his brother. Red sighed and rubbed his head, not knowing what else to do. Then he groaned when he looked at his mouth. The only way to revive him was by clearing his airway with mouth-to-mouth procedure.

"Goddamnit…" muttered Red.

Red shut his eyes and quickly blew hard into Black's mouth, reviving him. Black screamed and quickly jumped back, coughing up some water.

"Black! You're alive!"

"What are you, a fag?!" yelled Black.

"I just saved your ass and you're accusing me of being gay?!!?"

"You were kissing me!"

"I was giving you mouth-to-mouth! Jeez, will you calm down?"

"NO! You put you slimy lips on me!"

"Y'know what? Fine! I'll just let your ass drown next time!"

"Thank you!"

* * *

"Tell you what: How's about you guys join my army ranks and I don't even tell Bowser what happened?"

Green raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Sure! …Just as long as you don't screw up again. All you gotta do is wear blue and make a green lightning symbol somewhere on your body."

"Great, that's-that's great!"

"We're gonna go now." said Yellow.

"Yeah, see ya."

* * *

"I only need them to help me kill Mario. Like I said, they're stupid. Just like my brother. They don't deserve to be involved in _my _new world that _I _will rule. The minute that Mario dies, Bowser is…"

Kirzvolitken suddenly stared at Trowzer.

"…"

"…"

"…What, uh…what do you mean by that?"

Trowzer smiled and chuckled.

"Nothing. I meant nothing by it."

* * *

"It's not like I hate the guy. I mean, he's an asshole at times, but when I finally got to know him, he's not so bad. Besides, this is the first plan he's came up with that could actually work."

**Steve**

"Or maybe it'll fail, backfire, and Bowser'll get his ass kicked again."

"Well, that's a weird thing to say."

"Why?"

"Cause he's your brother. If I was Bowser's brother, I'd be at his side, supporting him with his evil deeds until his plans succeeded, or failed."

"So I take it you're not going to join my army after Mario dies?"

Steve huffed.

"I was loyal to Bowser yesterday, I'm loyal to Bowser today, and I'll be loyal to Bowser tomorrow. That's not gonna change just because you think he's stupid."

"Hey, you're Steve's brother right?" asked Trowzer.

"Yeah, the name's Kasey. Pleased to meet you."

Trowzer suddenly bashed the bat against his head, spreading blood all over the door of his house. He began to repeatedly hit Kasey in the head with the bat, grunting with effort every time he did so.

"I didn't kill your brother!!"

"That's not the point! You had six dark koopatrol guards--SIX--that were so damn bulky…that one day…I saw a fly land on one of them--it incinerated. If I got a diamond and scratched it across one of their faces, it would turn to volcanic ash! Just one of those guards could protect him from a boulder and you moved them all to protect a fried Mexican pastry!!!!!"

"…Have you ever tasted one???"

"Fine, fine. That's--that's fine. I'll just quit and join Trowzer's forces."

"Wait, what?!"

"Stop wasting your foul breath Bowser. Trowzer asked me earlier if I would consider joining his army; now I see why. You're too goddamn stupid to find your own nose without someone helping you."

"Stay away from my brother Steve."

* * *

"Where the 'ell is Cortez an' those ghosts?!?" yelled Pa-Patch.

**Pa-Patch**

"Pull me out! Pull me out!"

"With what?! I don't got any hands!"

"Use your bloomin' mouth!"

Bombbardos violently bit down on Pa-Patch's face.

"OW! That's my nose!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE A NOSE!!!!!"

"Just--AAH!!" yelled Pa-Patch as he was sucked under.

* * *

"So how long before we get to Bowser's castle?" asked Black.

"I dunno, couple hours at least." said Red.

It was at that point where Mario and his gang and the Koopa Bros. walked right up to each other, standing there and staring into their eyes.

"What--" said Red.

"The--" said Mario.

"BUTT!!" yelled Black.

Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"Butt????"

"I meant (censored)! (Censored)! I was gonna say (censored)!"

"…Y'know what, (censored) this." said Red.

Red took out his laser gun and shot Kooper in the leg. He screamed and started holding his shin, which was bleeding all over the place.

"What the hell guys?!" shouted Luigi.

"Yeah, we took that laser gun from Super Smash Bros."

"THANKS BITCH! I REALIZED THAT AFTER YOU SHOT ME IN THE GODDAMN KNEECAP!!!"

* * *

"GENO WHIRL!"

"Whuh?" said Black stupidly.

He shouted when the orange fiery disk missed him by an inch.

"Damnit!" yelled Geno.

"HA HA HA!!! You missed--!"

Black screamed when he fell through the trees after stepping on a broken tree branch. Then he started to hit every single other tree branch as he continued to fall down, up until he hit the biggest tree branch near the roots of the tree. Unfortunately, he hit the branch in between his legs, causing massive pain to his genitals, and even cracking his pelvis a little bit. Black was almost crying and he could only stay there, gritting his teeth with an angry red face. Luigi smiled widely.

"Should we help him or--"

"No, no. Let's just let him bask in massive pain until he passes out."

* * *

"Y'know, it's amazing that the sea urchins haven't killed you yet." said Mario.

"Sea--WHAT!!"

"Yeah, the only way to cure the poison is to NOT pull out the quills…which I just did."

"WHAT! HOLY (censored)!! We're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna die!!"

"Shut up Black! You're bluffing! There's another way to cure sea urchin poison!"

"Yeah…"

Red glanced over towards Kooper, who had finished chugging the lemonade and threw it on the ground, cracking his neck.

"Payback, bitch! Now stand still so I won't miss."

"Won't…miss???" wondered Black.

Kooper limped over to Red and Black and stood over them on a table.

"Dude, what're doing?"

"I told you, payback bitches!"

Mario and Luigi were seconds away from laughing out loud. Kooper sighed heavily and started urinating on the Koopa Bros. The Mario Bros. fell on the floor laughing hysterically, while Geno just muttered,

"That's gross."

"AAAHHH!! YOU MOTHER (censored)!!! YOU MOTHER (censored)!!!! I AM GONNA (censored) KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL KOOPER TO STOP PISSIN' ON ME RIGHT NOW!!!"

"Tell us what you know and he'll stop!" demanded Geno.

"Goddamnit! Fine! Bowser sent Petey Piranha and his whole gang of piranha plants to Keelhaul Key so they could take it over and capture the pirates and lure you into a trap! Now tell him to stop peeing on us!!"

* * *

"If I go down, YOU'RE GOING DOWN WITH ME!!!" screamed Petey.

Mario quickly lit Pa-Patch and threw him across the cave, blowing him up and causing Petey to falter; he had been hit in the leg. Petey was hopping on one leg now, trying to keep his balance, when he suddenly fell on his back and the King Bomb shot up into the air. But what goes up…is _going _to come down.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" yelled Petey.

The King Bomb fell right into Petey's mouth, but it was so big that he couldn't even swallow it. Petey just lay on his back, choking and spitting out the sides of his mouth, trying to regurgitate the humongous bob-omb. The fuse was only a few seconds away from coming into contact with the triggering mechanism. Mario and the pirates were yelling and quickly scurrying out of the cave, just seconds before it exploded in a gigantic fireball, slowly collapsing the inside. The piranha plants had been defeated and the pirates had been saved.

* * *

"This is such bull (censored)!!" yelled Black.

"Why is it that Bowser's always sends his lackeys like us to do the crappiest kinds of jobs in the world? Seriously, would Mario even find the castle where we kidnapped the Toads?" said Red.

"I don't understand why you guys put up with Bowser's (censored). Just switch sides and join his brother's crew, like we did." said Green.

"Is it better than Bowser's?" asked Red.

"Pretty much, yeah." said Green.

"Yep; we're joining Trowzer's crew." said Black.

"No (censored)! Anything's better than coming home reeking of sewer water and getting used toilet paper up my butt."

* * *

"Well then, what're we gonna do? We certainly can't sit and wait for Twink to tell us something again." Luigi pointed out.

"GOT IT! Dry Dry Outpost! Remember Moustafa? That mouse with ancestral roots to Dry Dry Ruins??? If he posed as an information trader, who knows what he must've learned throughout the years?" said Mario."

* * *

"Are you sure you want this done Trowzer?"

**Mallick**

"You make sure Mario's body is buried in the sand and his remains are lost forever."

Mallick fired five more bullets at the Mario gang, hitting Kooper in the leg again.

"Don't follow me!" yelled Mallick.

Mallick abruptly began to run away from the group, heading into Dry Dry Outpost.

"C'mon! Let's go get him!" said Mario.

Mallick ran into what used to be Moustafa's hideout, jumping up onto the rooftops. Mario tried to chase him by jumping over to the other building rooftops, but he tripped over a vase and didn't get enough running speed. He was about to lose Mallick and thus, lose his chance to stop Bowser's next plan.

"HA HA!! Follow me now, bitch!" said Mallick.

Mallick took two steps forward, and then he looked down and realized he was standing in mid-air. He yelped and fell down on top of a stack of boxes, inevitably losing consciousness.

* * *

"Okay, this is perfect. Gather all your koopas in that area of Dinosaur Land and start building a fortress you use to store weapons. Call it Iggy's Weapon Armada."

"…That's creative."

**Iggy Koopa**

"Shut your mouth! That's just Part A. Part B is that your lure Mario through a series of bob-omb ambushes and bullet bill barrages until he gets inside your castle. If he doesn't die in there, take one of your highly ranked lieutenants and stick him in the boss door. That's Part B. Part C is that you launch a flying battleship to fly over Rogueport and build a laser inside the ship so that it can blow the (censored) out of Rogueport!"

Bowser threw down the marker he was using to draw out his plans all over the walls, panting heavily.

"So…did you get that?"

* * *

Yellow was inside Trowzer's room, searching through all his stuff again.

"Why doesn't this guy have anything important in his room that I can use to embarrass other people?!"

**Yellow**

A secret door suddenly opened and it revealed a whole series of cabinets filled with many sorts of papers and pictures…and meats.

"Cool! I found a trap door! Let me just look though the files."

Yellow was a little shocked at what he saw. There were photos of Kasey, Steve, Sharktail, the Koopa Bros. and several other inside. There were even records and brief history summaries of each person inside. It kinda freaked out Yellow, especially when he saw his own picture. What was Trowzer trying to do? Bowser didn't have his own little stash of files hidden from his minions.

"???"

Yellow noticed that a bold, red X was crossed over Kasey's picture. And he had a number one above in the upper corner of the photo.

"This is starting to freak me out."

"What the hell are you doing?" asked a deep voice.

Yellow shrieked and dropped the files, turning around and gazing at Trowzer.

* * *

"Please…can you let me go??"

"He said please so…NO!" said Kooper.

"What happens when those bombs go off Geno?" asked Mario.

"Most of them are near his feet so I'm pretty sure he'll be disemboweled and his testes and colon will blast across the room…"

"LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF! LET ME OFF!!!"

Mallick broke apart the chair arm, ripping a wire and setting off the fuse off a bob-omb. It hissed loudly and it began its countdown, ready to blow.

"(Censored), everyone get out!!!"

Mario and the gang rushed out of the building, with Kooper holding the door shut. Two seconds later, the building exploded and knocked everyone outside on their backs.

* * *

"Trowzer hired us to plant a (censored)load of bob-ombs inside the Financial Security Counsel in order to cut off the money flow to Toad Town."

"Why?"

"Why should you care?! We get to blow (censored) up man! It's gonna be so cool!"

"Where's the files?!" yelled the koopa.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about--!"

Kirzvolitken squeezed even harder, almost popping Yellow's eyes out of his head.

"Just tell me where the files are!"

"Why? I just wanna know why Trowzer's stealing his brother's ideas!"

"Stealing his--! Riiiiiight…stealing his ideas."

* * *

"Rumors have been spreading of this legendary chain chomp that holds a secret item regarding the lieutenant's whereabouts."

**Moustafa**

"Many of the Nomadimice have tried to subdue this creature, but so far, none of them have come back. I am unsure of this information myself, but it must be important if Bowser made the creature swallow it."

"Hey, cool! I got a key!" yelled Kooper.

"DAMNIT!!" yelled the chain chomp.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"YOU GUYS GET AWAY FROM ME _EVERY _TIME! I DON'T KNOW WHY BOWSER PUT THIS GODDAMN CHAIN ON MY BODY!!!"

"Dude, if you wanna get free so badly, just ignite yourself." suggested Kooper.

"WHAT???"

"KOOPER!!!"

The chain chomp smiled and jolted his body into the air three times in a row. However, on the third jump, he roared loudly and somehow managed to ignite himself on fire. The chain that was stuck in the ground broke off and the massive chain chomp was free.

* * *

"What-What the hell's going on?" asked Yellow.

"Are you aware of a very large drug possession charge a couple of years ago?" asked the KPA agent.

"We didn't do anything but got high!"

"That's the point!"

"…Oh. So what are we supposed to do?! How come you guys waited all these years to inform me about this?"

"Because you never had any contact with Trowzer before."

"So what do I do?"

"It's simple: Sabotage the explosives so when your brothers set them off, they don't explode. After that, we'll go inside and dig up the accounts about Trowzer."

"What if I say no?"

"You go to jail for 20 years for being under the influence of marijuana and possible attempts to distribute."

"Okay! Okay! I'll do it."

* * *

"GENO WHIRL!!!"

The flying orange disk slammed right into the chain chomp, pulverizing its whole body and leaving a huge whole in the back of its head. If that wasn't bad enough, the disk went through its mouth. The chain chomp roared one final time before it made a guttural death rattle and slouched over to its side…deceased. Mario groaned and stuck his hand into the beast's mouth. Eventually, Mario grabbed a treasure chest and took it out of the creature's mouth, quickly opening it.

"Holy snap! The next lieutenant's Iggy Koopa?! Whoa…this looks pretty big guys. We've gotta stop Iggy as soon as possible!" said Kooper.

* * *

"EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!!!" yelled Red.

Unlike Toad Town, all the Toads in the bank were very scared and started screaming the second Red fired his shots.

"Don't touch that alarm!" yelled Green, pointing his gun to a security Toad.

The security guard continued to run for the alarm, prompting Green to shoot the guard in the back.

"Take out the alarm system!" commanded Red.

"Uh…yeah." said Yellow.

Yellow took out his thunder rages and tossed them in the air, watching as the large item fired several bolts of lightning at the security booth and alarming systems, frying all of the equipment until it was charred.

"30 seconds. Damn, we're good!"

* * *

Mario jumped up and slammed his head into the ? block, waiting for whatever item (or trap) would appear. After a couple of seconds, a tiny red spotted egg came out and began to rapidly crack. Pretty soon, a fully grown Yoshi came out and jumped to the ground.

"Oh, thank you guys! Thank you! Iggy captured me while he was building his armory and trapped me inside that block! You have my undivided gratitude." said the Yoshi.

**Blaze**

"Hey, you got a name? We can't just run around calling you Red Yoshi." said Kooper.

"…Well, I've never had an owner, so I guess I don't have a name. Maybe you guys can name me."

"How's about Blaze? You like that name?" asked Mario.

"Okay. Blaze it is then!"

* * *

"UGH! What do you want Bowser?! I'm trying to sleep here!"

**Princess Peach Toadstool**

"Wait a minute…you're not Bowser! …You're not going to make me rub your rancid feet are you?"

"Let's make this simple: I'll ask you a question and you're gonna answer correctly. If you don't, I'm gonna hurt you. It's that simple. Now…is there anything you can tell me that could help me in finding Mario right now?"

Peach shrugged. "I don't know--"

Trowzer slapped the princess with the back of his hand, hearing the loud smack and the sound of the princess yelp all of a sudden.

"Take off your clothes."

"What?!"

"This can either be extremely painful for you or I can try to make it pleasant and calming. But if you fight me…neither of us will enjoy this. Now…take off your clothes."

* * *

"Hey guys! I deactivated the laser!" announced Green.

"Good. Now get your ass in that vault and go get the cash!"

Suddenly, the gang heard a tremendous explosion that nearly threw them off their feet, knocking some of the money bags off their shelves.

"What the hell was that?!" asked a Goomba Bros.

Yellow began to perspire again and gulped so hard Green saw a lump travel down his throat. The KPA had begun their assault on the bank and was going to rendezvous with Yellow and arrest his brothers. They were going to expose him and possibly make him a target for Trowzer.

The next several minutes meant life or death for Yellow…

* * *

"The guy has been horning in on our situations ever since he got here! He obviously doesn't like Bowser and he has no respect for any of his possessions! Or did you forget that he stuck his (censored) in Princess Peach's ass?"

**Darrik**

"Even if Bowser did believe his brother was out to get him, there's no one here who could fully disguise his or herself to look like one of Trowzer's men."

"I could do that. I'd love to go spying!"

"So, who are you again?" asked Darrik.

"I'm Doopliss!"

**Doopliss**

"Still not ringing any bells."

Doopliss grumbled and sighed again. "Freak-In-The-Sheet?"

"Oh that guy! Now I remember you!"

"Yes. Anyways, after what you've seen, I believe I can be of great asset to this spy plan."

"I suppose you could work. Since you can take the form of anyone you choose, you can easily slide into Trowzer's regime and find Intel."

"You were right Darrik. I think Trowzer does have something to do with this."

"Why, what'd you find?"

"He took out a cellphone and then swallowed it whole like it was a piece of meat. I wasn't able to find out what was on it, but it must be important if he risked devouring the whole damn thing."

* * *

"It's me guys! I came here…just like you said!" said Yellow, hoarsely.

"Calm down, he's on our side." said the leader.

"Did you disarm the bombs yet?"

"No, I still have to do that. If I do this…will I be safe? I-I won't go to jail and no one gets hurt, right?"

"No jail time."

"And-and Trowzer won't find out I helped you guys?"

"You'll be put in Witness Protection along with your brothers."

"HEY YELLOW! Where the hell are you?! We gotta go!"

Yellow yanked the antenna out and split it in half with his hook bill, throwing the remains down a crack in a floor. And it was just in time too, because Black found Yellow kneeling next to the explosives.

Black pounded his fist on the big red button on the remote and waited for the bombs to go off. However, nothing happened.

"Uh, where's the kaboom Black?"

He pressed the button several more times.

"I-I-I thought the bombs--"

"You stupid son-of-a-bitch! You screwed up again!!" chastised Red.

"Oh darn, guess we can't blow up the building." said Yellow, in a somewhat jolly tone.

"Cool your jets guys. I brought a spare."

"What?"

"WHAT!!" screamed Yellow.

And that's when the bank blew up. It wasn't just one giant explosion. It was more of small, multiple explosions that began one after another. First the basement blew, which blew a hole in the lobby wall. Then the roof blew up almost instantly, blasting chucks of concrete and wood everywhere. Two explosions went off simultaneously and half the bank began to crumble to the ground and the boilers were blown to bits, which sparked a huge fire. The whole thing ended when a tremendous explosion blasted away the walls and set everything on fire, dousing everything in a fiery inferno. There was no way the KPA agents survived. Yellow came back to reality and turned around to run with his brothers. But at this rate, there was nothing more Yellow could do. He was gonna have to leave the kingdom…and fast.

* * *

"Hello? YELOW! Where the hell are you?! We're already counting the money!"

"I know by now you know everything and I think it's best that I go on vacation for a while."

"Wha…? Vacation?! I mean, we just hit the motherload but why would you go on vacation now?! And where are you anyways?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you my location at this time."

"…Yellow if you did something that will involve me inflicting pain upon your face, running away will only make it worse dude."

"I'm serious! I just…I just need to go away for a while okay? "I love you. You know that, right Red? You know that no matter what happens, no matter what nauseous, ghastly thing you do to me, I'll still love you."

* * *

"I can't believe you actually got the phone from Trowzer!"

"Yes. I've scarred my sanity and had to burn my hand in acid in the process, but at least some good came out of it. So what's the plan now?"

"Easy. All I have to do is crack through the algorithm inputted in the records by hacking into the data stream with my magic and presto! I can recover any phone records Trowzer deleted!"

* * *

"Thanks Fracktail! You've been a great help." said Geno.

Everybody quickly sprinted their way to the gray anchor that weighed over a ton and latched onto it as the airship began to ascend back into the sky. The airship's engines raised the anchor into its slot and the team was able to jump onto the main deck, going deaf at the thunderous noise of the propellers spinning right behind them.

"So what's the plan now?" shouted Blaze over the noise.

"There is no plan! We find a way to slow down the engines; we find Iggy and kick his ass! Hopefully he'll be able to tell us what his father's planning!" said Mario.

* * *

"Doopliss where are you?" asked a frantic Darrik.

"Back at Bowser's castle. Why?"

"Because I just got through looking through Trowzer's phone records."

"And…?"

"Looks like I was right. Trowzer's trying to ruin his brother's legacy."

"So what are we supposed to do? Just sit on our asses until he clips us one-by-one?"

"Calm down Doopliss. I'm going to Bowser's castle right now and the second I get there I'm showing him the data. We'll figure it all out later."

"I heard my dad talking to some of his subordinates and nobody can find Darrik."

"You absolutely sure no one's seen him?"

"They checked the dragons' chambers, the firing range, the lava field, the lava pool, the fire-weed garden, brimstone cavern--"

"Did anyone actually bother checking his actual house?"

Doopliss scratched his head in confusion and turned around to go search more of the house. A loud crunch was heard and Doopliss looked down to find a weird, yellow-orange object resting under his foot.

"What the…?"

Doopliss picked up the object slowly and examined it…before yelping and dropping the object like it was ridden with disease. The object he picked up had teeth on it. ...It was a jaw.

"OH (CENSORED)!! WHAT THE (CENSORED)?!!?"

* * *

Iggy growled gutturally and Mario responded by pressing his shoe further down on his neck.

"OKAY! Fine, I'll tell you what I know!"

Mario took his boot off.

"As far as I know, my father's been contemplating about taking over Isle Delfino or holding it hostage. But you know how random my dad is; he could be building a machine that turns sand into fudge popsicles."

"…That makes no sense." Geno pointed out.

"Neither does my dad!" Iggy shouted.

The airship began to explode in multiple areas and all the engines instantly shut down. Someone placed explosives, maybe C-4, all around the engines room and set them off, and now the airship was going to crash. Kooper, Blaze, and Luigi grabbed onto Geno so tightly that they were literally crushing his body. Mario fluttered Geno's cape in the wind and with just one wave, it turned itself into a parachute and the fall began to retard. Everyone began to float to the ground like a balloon. After a few minutes, the gang landed in the deserts of Pyramid Park softly.

"Whew…that was a close call."

"Yep. Guess it's off to Isle Delfino right?" asked Blaze.

"Yeah…I could use a vacation anyways."

"And even better, you get to enjoy some fireworks in spite of our victory!" said Luigi, pointing to the flaming airship.

Everyone stopped talking and looked into the horizon as they saw the gigantic flying battleship fall to the ground with bits of wood falling off. After a solid 30 seconds, it disappeared over a large sand dune and everyone felt the ground shake due to a gargantuan explosions in the distance.

"You guys think Bowser's gonna be pissed if he finds out we killed his son?" asked Blaze.

"I'm pretty sure he made it out of the blast in time. Knowing Iggy, he built his own jet pack and just flew into the sky."

"…Yeah…"

* * *

"Iggy went into cardiac arrest around 5:15. The doctors tried to resuscitate him…but failed. Iggy Koopa was pronounced dead at 5:21 a.m." said Bowser.

No one could really believe the news they heard, especially Bowser's kids. They weren't sure if they were shocked that someone as smart as Iggy died or maybe it was because Mario actually went far enough to kill a member of Bowser's family. Their sadness was only brief, because a moment later many of them made fists with their hands and started growling under their throats.

"NO!!!" shouted Junior, slamming his hand into a car window.

* * *

Everyone screeched to a halt when they saw a ninjakoopa wearing a yellow shell and yellow boots and a yellow bandanna over his eyes. It was Yellow. Time instantly slowed down and the six characters stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then, out of nowhere, Yellow turned around and began to sprint along the pathway, muttering, "You have got to be (censored) kidding me!"

"(CENSORED)!" yelled Blaze.

"(CENSORED)!" yelled Kooper.

F.L.U.D.D had no idea what was happening, but it had a feeling that Mario was in really deep trouble so it decided to help him. Mario turned on the rocket nozzle and blasted his way up to the Shine Gate. However, when he was about to fall down, Yellow shot his shell at him while he was in mid-air and bounced back next to the pipe connecting to Pianta Village. Mario fell hundreds of feet back down into the water, screaming along the way before he touched down with a thunderous splash. Mario resurfaced next to a wet Blaze, looking up to see Yellow running away to a place that was obscure from their vision.

"Damnit! We lost him!"

* * *

Yellow got back to his feet and looked left and right at his surroundings, trying to figure out what he should do now. He sighed and shut his eyes to ponder the situation…just in time for a dark figure to wrap fiber wire around his neck. Yellow gagged and whined loudly, trying to fight his assailant.

"How's it goin' Yellow? You having a nice vacation?"

"Bowser, I swear I was never gonna--"

"No, it's Trowzer you little gnat! You know how much trouble you're in now?"

"Trowzer--"

"If it makes you happier, your brothers will be joining you soon."

Trowzer knocked Yellow to the ground and tightened the wire so much that Yellow's neck was slowly turning red. He was strangling him…very hard at that. Yellow was grabbing his neck, groaning and whining in a weak tone with his eyes nearly bulging out of his head. Yellow tried to grab one of Trowzer's hands, but he was too weak to do anything. All Yellow could do was lie there as he slowly suffocated with one of Trowzer's feet planted on his shell. After a good 30 seconds, Yellow succumbed to the strangulation and collapsed face down to the ground. Trowzer placed his fingers on his neck to see if there was a pulse. There wasn't. Trowzer sighed heavily and walked down a set of stairs, leaving Yellow's corpse on the top of the building.

He was dead.

* * *

"So your cover's intact?"

"Yes. There's no evidence pointing out that I was the one who set the bombs on Iggy's airship." said Blaze.

Trowzer chuckled evilly. "Everything's going as planned."

"…Not exactly. The DPD did inform Mario and his gang about you and they're pretty confident that you were the one who murdered Yellow and hired someone to kill Iggy."

"Why didn't you stop them?!" growled Trowzer.

"I'm in a police station! What do you want me to do, wave two Uzis around and hope a Pianta officer doesn't blast my brains away with a shotgun?"

"Mario and his cronies knowing about me don't help the situation, now does it?

"Trowzer, they think I'm with them. They think I'm on their side. All you gotta do is tell me to kill them and I'll do it."

"And you won't have any problems?"

Blaze scoffed. "It's a koopa, a doll, and two plumbers."

* * *

"Why are you calling me right now?"

**Ludwig von Koopa**

"Because you're the smartest one in your family second to Iggy and no one else will listen to me!"

"People call you Freak-in-the-Sheet; of course no one listens to you."

"Well you know what, I think someone's following me and I've been on the run for the last 24 hours! You know about the investigation Bowser sent me and Darrik on to find out what Trowzer was planning and if he was going against his brother?"

"Yeah."

"Well I found his cellphone and gave it to Darrik to see if he would be able to find valuable information on it."

"So what happened?"

Doopliss sighed. "I think Trowzer had him killed. I went to his house and I found his jaw on the floor. His friggin' jaw was on the floor Ludwig! Isn't it a helluva coincidence that Darrik and I are the only ones who know about the secret plan and just when we find something useful, Darrik disappears and the phone is nowhere to be found?"

"That's not true, Bowser authorized it and he's not dead, now is he?"

"Think about it Ludwig! It's so obvious it's Trowzer that it _is _Trowzer!"

"I thought it was the other way around?"

"No it's not. And besides, Trowzer is not stupid enough to go after his brother on the first day! He'd probably go after his family first like Junior or Roy or Iggy or—"

Doopliss stopped talking and Ludwig's eyes grew wide with dread. Maybe he was right all along. After all, Mario hadn't stooped as low as killing Bowser's siblings before, so why would he start now? Not only that, but Ludwig knew that Iggy would've built some sort of failsafe inside his ship so he would escape if something went wrong. Everything just seemed too obvious to be true.

"…Didn't Bowser say one of his sons just died?"

"Yeah…Iggy died when his airship crashed into the ground because Mario and his gang screwed up the engine…"

"…I should go now—"

Ludwig got out of his desk and twisted the knob on his door, slowly opening it up and getting outside of his room. He looked left and right to see if anyone was observing his room and walked down the corridor as stealthily as possible. There was only one person he could talk to now…

* * *

"I really am sorry Red. If I had known I was sending Yellow to his death, I never would've put him up to it. But I had to find out who was out to get me and my empire."

"No, no it's not your fault. You weren't the one who strangled him to death."

**Red**

"So what's this guy's name again?"

"Parker. They're celebrating his promotion tonight…just became sergeant today."

"Is that him?! With the purple cake all over his face?!?!"

"Yeah, yeah that's him."

Trowzer stopped talking momentarily and stared at Red.

"So…I know who's been trying to take me out…and you know who killed your brother. You can take it from there."

"You're being set up! Whoever sent you here to do this is fooling you with faulty information and you're playing right into it!! Maybe I did get your brother killed for having him work for us and for that I'm sorry, but I did not personally kill him nor did I order his death."

"It doesn't matter. He wants you dead."

"I'm sorry! Sorry. I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!!"

Two gunshots went off in the midst of Parker's house and two white flashes appeared outside of his house. Parker tried to acquire a pistol he had hidden underneath a chair towards his window, but Red got to him first and shot him twice in the face, killing him instantly.

"Hey Black, Green. What's up?" asked Red.

Red had miraculously returned to Trowzer's castle completely sober and feeling content for himself.

"Uh…I thought you were…depressed dude." said Black.

"I just needed a little bit of time guys."

"Yeah, but when we last saw you—"

Red chuckled. "Don't worry about it. It was just a little breakdown, nothing serious. It's not like I was gonna kill myself."

Red flicked a shiny metal object on the table Black and Green were sitting next to and Black picked it up, cocking an eyebrow.

"You got us a present?"

"Yeah. Just a little something to make you guys feel better. It sure as hell helped me out." said Red before walking away.

"Does Red seem a little…happy today?" asked Green.

"I dunno, but who the hell's Parker?"

**To be continued...**  
**  
****A/N: Damn, over 8000 words?! Wow, that's probably the longest recap in the history of written Mario recaps. By now, hopefully, you should be aware of all that has been goin' on. And yes, I did skip some stuff, but only the stuff that wasn't gravely important.**


	28. 24 Mushrooms, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 1 of 5. When things couldn't possibly get more chaotic, Trowzer assigns the Koopa Bros. to carry out a terrorist attack to access a major siege. Ludwig tries to find more information about the death of his brother, Doopliss finds one of his followers, and Blaze begins to plot when and where he'll kill the Mario Bros.

**24 Mushrooms (Part 1)**

**The following takes place between 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m. on the day where something important is supposed to happen.**

**Events occur in the fictional game universe.**

It was 2:00 p.m., roughly a few weeks since the events of Bowser and Trowzer's reign of terror began. Everyone impacted by the event was taking their loses and feeling some sort of pain. Whether it was emotional, physical, or even psychologically, everyone had some grisly event fall upon them. Doopliss for one was stranded in the middle of the desert. He had been running even since he found the jaw inside Darrik's house and now, he was just tired of it all. Literally. He was stuck in one of the hottest deserts in all of Mushroom Kingdom, full of nothing but a few palm trees, rocks, cacti, and lots and lots of sand. To make matters even worse for him, he was lost. He didn't know how, but after exiting the Dry Dry Ruins, he was lost in the scorching desert. Now, he was panting with his tongue hanging out and dragging his feet across the sand every ten seconds or so. All he had to do was find Dry Dry Outpost and he'd be fine. He'd get to drink a refreshing beverage, get a hot plate of spaghetti, and maybe rest at the Toad Inn. That is, if he could get there in time.

"So…tired…"

The duplighost stopped walking for a minute to pant some more and shake his head, but soon began to walk down the sandy road. Unfortunately, a few bandits were stalking him from behind a couple of boulders and were snickering under their breath.

"Heh heh…looks like we got a straggler here! This'll be easy!"

The bandits slowly crept out of hiding and ran over to the duplighost, bumping and brushing into him like crazy and causing the creature to spin around and lose all his coins to the red hooded thieves. Doopliss moaned loudly after spinning around so much and started holding his head, seeing stars. As the bandits began to laugh and snicker at their victims, they took a closer look at the money and gasped, before shouting with anger.

"What the (censored) is this (censored)?!" asked the leader.

"I got…mugged by buzzy beetles." mumbled Doopliss.

"Buzzy beetles don't have arms or hands and their legs are tiny. How's a friggin' small ass buzzy beetle rob you?"

"I AM HAVING A BAD DAY!!!"

"So what's this we just stole from you?"

"I think that's swooper guano."

"EWW!!!" shouted the bandits, dropping the excrement to the ground and wiping off their hands.

"Screw this. Let's just wait for one of those nomadimice to come by."

As the bandits ran away from Doopliss, the helpless, weak duplighost sighed heavily and collapsed to the ground, covering his face with sand. He simply lied there in the scorching hot sand with the sun beating down on his back, slowly eating away his life. He honestly felt like he was going to die and didn't even bother trying to get back up. Perhaps he could have one final nap before the snakes or crows or pokeys got to him and ate his flesh…or whatever was underneath his sheet. There really wasn't anything left he could do expect wish for a miracle to happen or hope the trail to Dry Dry Outpost magically appeared before him. Doopliss sighed one final time before he shut his eyes and lost consciousness.

_02:02:30…02:02:31…02:02:32…02:02:33…_

* * *

Meanwhile, back inside Trowzer's chamber, Trowzer and the Koopa Bros. were busy thinking up another heinous plan to inflict chaos around the Mushroom Kingdom. So far, they were in the clear and no one from Bowser's League (minus Ludwig and Doopliss) suspected a thing. And now, they were going to do something big.

"Gentlemen what is it that every man, koopa or animal is trying to obtain?"

"Um, (censored)?" said Black.

Trowzer sighed. "No, not (censored). There are other things to worry about than how many times you stick your (censored) inside another woman's vagina."

"So…you don't want us to go around raping women?"

"This is why I usually threaten to put tape over your mouth."

"He's talking about land bro. There's nothing more valuable than land nowadays."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about Green."

"So what? You're gay or something?"

"I'm related to a koopa who has eight children…seven if you subtract the recently deceased Iggy."

"If you're gay, does that mean you and Red can give each other blowjobs?"

"I'M NOT GAY!!!" shouted Red.

"Black do you know what a clitoris is?"

"No."

"Then shut the (censored) up. Now…it's come to my attention that we need a new area to place our troops in so I figured we might as well 'acquire' some more land…like Yoshi's Island for example."

"You want to annex Yoshi's Island?"

"That's right. The last thing we need are dinosaurs with bottomless bellies going against us and because of the large size of the island, it'd be very easy to install a military base over there."

"Do we get to blow (censored) up like last time?"

Trowzer smiled. "Sure…why not? In fact, I have a special job for you guys specifically. You see, there's a band of koopas that report to Yoshi's Island and provided a barrier around the island after Bowser's previous reign of terror. What you guys need to do is infiltrate this facility that provides protection around the island and…well I'm sure even you can figure it out from there."

"How do we get to the facility?"

"That's where the problem comes in. You see, no one even gets on the boat to the defense facility without wearing a security uniform or being transported there by one of the guards. Since I've yet to acquire the uniforms, you're gonna have to 'persuade' one of the chief guards to make you guys come along. Kirzvolitken!! Bring him in here!!"

The koopas waited around for the pale foreign koopa to walk inside the chamber hauling a KP koopa by the skin on his head. He was busy thrashing around and trying to get away from the hitkoopa, but no matter what he did, he wouldn't stop dragging his body against the ground. Kirzvolitken sat the wounded koopa down in a chair and quickly tied his hands behind it, restraining him from running away or escaping. The koopa was wearing this tan scarf tied around his neck and had half of his shell painted blue instead of it being completely yellow. Other than that, he looked like any normal KP Koopa.

"So this is the guy we're supposed to 'persuade'?" said Red, cracking his knuckles.

"I'm—"

The guard spat out some blood on the floor.

"I'm gonna make this simple: There's nothing you guys can do to make me comply with whatever you're doing. Whether it's torturing or raping or threatening or psychological therapy or any other type of junk in that category…no matter what you do, it's not going to work."

"What about T-Bagging?" asked Black.

"Are you serious?" asked Green.

"You know how many times my friend in college did that?"

"What about a Gorilla Mask?"

"If you look closely you can see one of the pubes still stuck on my face."

"What about—"

Green raised a hand to stop Red from whatever horrible fate he was thinking of.

"Let me get this straight: There's absolutely nothing we can do to make you comply with our demands?"

"Nope."

Green sighed heavily and stared at the security guard, psychologically analyzing him by merely staring into his eyes, trying to determine whether or not he was lying. Green realized that, even if they dumped the guard into the dragons' septic tank and left him there to drown, he still wouldn't comply. There was only one thing left to do.

"Okay."

Green walked over to the guard and took a pistol out of his shell, aiming for the guard's head. The guard gasped at the last second before Green pulled the trigger and shot him through the nasal cavity, propelling his tied-up body backwards and splattering blood all over everyone inside the room. Red and Black started shouting while Trowzer raised an eyebrow.

"WHAT THE (CENSORED) GREEN?!?"

"I assume this is part of your brilliant plan?" asked Trowzer.

"We're on a time schedule here right?!"

"Right."

"Do you know how long it'll take us to make this guy cooperate with us before it's too late to blow up the facility? And even if he does somehow agree, don't you think the guards will get suspicious once they see a koopa who comes back with his nose broken, his teeth knocked out, and his kneecaps smashed?"

"If that's the case, then why'd you kill him?!" asked Red.

"All we gotta do now is steal his uniforms. And after what happened back at Toad Town, I think it'd be best we kill the invaluable hostages instead of letting them live."

"Smart guy."

"So what about the three of us?!" asked Black.

"Two Black. There's only _two _of us left."

Black looked around the chamber and suddenly realized that his young brother Yellow, wasn't there anymore. Black sighed heavily and shut his eyes.

"Right…two…"

"You and The Russian here—"

"I'm from Uzbekistan."

"Seriously? I could've sworn you were Russian dude." said Black.

"Like I was saying, we need two more guys down here so we can steal their outfits and disguise ourselves as the guards, where we will easily infiltrate the defense center."

"What about the bombs and detonators—"

"We'll figure it out. For now, just get us two more guards."

"…We can still T-Bag him right?" asked Black.

"**STOP. TALKING.**"

_02:07:49…02:07:50…02:07:51…02:07:52…_

* * *

Elsewhere, Ludwig was busy trying to get off castle grounds when he spotted one of his bodyguards, Elark, the dark koopa.

"Hey Elark!"

The koopa turned around. "Yeah?"

"I got this uh…thing I gotta settle somewhere in the kingdom and I don't wanna anyone else to know about it."

"Why?"

"It's a personal matter I'm trying to figure out."

"How personal?"

Ludwig sighed and dragged Elark to a dark corner of the castle.

"What if I told you…that my brother wasn't killed by Mario?"

Elark swore in his mind. "Huh?"

"You know who Doopliss is?"

"No."

"You know who Freak-in-the-Sheet is?"

"Yeah, that duplighost with a black sheet donning his body."

"He called me a few minutes ago and told me that someone else may have something to do with Iggy's death."

"Really? Do you-do you have any leads yet?"

"No."

"Do you have any suspects?"

"…Don't think I'm crazy, but my uncle-in-law might have something to do with it."

Elark chuckled. "Are you serious?"

"Think about it E! Doopliss's disappearance, Darrik's disappearance and possible death, Trowzer forming his own coalition, my brother's death, Yellow's death; that's a lot to blame on Mario alone, don't you think?"

"True…but why Trowzer?"

"He hates his brother and the easiest way to destroy both him and Mario is to make them turn on each other. Mario will be killed and so will a good portion of Bowser's family. When we're weak and helpless, Trowzer will stroll on by and finish off the remains, then he'll rule the Mushroom Kingdom."

Elark sighed. "Even if it was Trowzer, what are you gonna do to get evidence? You really think you're gonna walk up to your brother's killer and expect him to shout out, 'Hi! I killed your brother!' in a nonchalant manner?"

"That's why I need your help. Right now, you're the only koopa I can trust. I need you to take me to this address…" said Ludwig, scribbling an address on a ripped sheet of paper.

Elark grabbed the paper and examined it.

"Isn't this Iggy's girlfriend's address?"

"It's where she works. I gotta talk to her and see if she'll shine some light on this situation."

"Fine, I'll give you a ride."

* * *

"So it looks like this new guy Trowzer seems to be a real handful here." said Kooper, after the gang left the police HQ.

"Yep. Seems to be a real asshole if you ask me." said Blaze.

"Okay, since we have no other leads, we have to think like a criminal. If we were evil sadistic super criminals, what would we do?" asked Geno.

"I for one would be trying to cover my tracks."

"He's already done that by killing Yellow and the KPA agents, and presumably Darrik. Now that he thinks he's in the clear, what would he do?"

Luigi shrugged. "My guess is that he'd try to take over some large corporation or hijack something of high value with all his forces."

"Exactly! If I were Trowzer, I'd probably want to steal something like a cache of rubies or weapons or maybe even take something over such as…such as…"

"Land?" suggested Blaze.

"Bingo. If I were Trowzer, I'd try to acquire as much land as possible before any suspicion arose."

"And if I were Trowzer, I'd probably head for Yoshi's Island."

"Why? There's nothing over there besides a bunch of caverns and lakes and exotic areas."

"C'mon, you've been there Mario. You know as well as I that those caves are filled with diamonds and jewels. All Trowzer has to do is form his own mining company and boom…he's got enough rubies and gems to carve a bus out of. And that's just the caves; think about what's hidden beneath the waters of Yoshi's Island and if that's not enough, he can rebuild the castles that were destroyed."

"God, he'll use all those Yoshis as slaves for his dirty work."

"No, that's something Bowser would do. This guy would just crush 'em with his hulking frame and vile feet."

"Even if Trowzer is planning to do all this, how are we gonna stop him? I mean, we got no clues since Yellow's dead." said Kooper.

"Why don't we just wait for Twink? Or hey, perhaps mysterious warbling music will play haphazardly and lead us to a clue."

"Like I said Luigi, if you wanna sit your ass back down and guard the house while we have a terrific and thrilling adventure, be my guest." said Mario.

"I'm good."

"We don't need Twink or mysterious music to help us get by! Why use music when we can simply go to my condo and look for information?" said Blaze.

"What information?"

"I got a condo right here in Isle Delfino and seeing as how Yoshi's Island is my home world, I know some of the stuff that goes down there."

"Like what?"

"I have the manifest of the Yoshis and koopas who attend a defense facility that protect the island's perimeter from intruders. All we gotta do is get the information from my laptop and see if there are any anomalies. I'm sure Trowzer will send one of his guards to try and destroy the area and leave it open for invasion."

"Wow…how randomly…convenient." said Kooper, staring at Blaze.

"Yeah, how'd you know about all that stuff?" asked Geno.

Blaze chuckled. "I have my moments…"

"Now if only Luigi would get these so-called moments."

"Don't think I'll hesitate to shove a green fireball up your ass Geno!!"

"Which does more damage: A miniscule fireball, or a flaming Geno Whirl disc?"

* * *

Doopliss groaned loudly and slowly opened his crusty, dry eyes, staring up at the ceiling of a small shack or resting area. The duplighost blinked a few times and started shifting his eyes left and right wondering what was going on. He sat up and looked down, realizing he was lying in bed. To his left was a Toad who served as the assistant in each Toad Inn.

"Where am I?"

"In Dry Dry Outpost. A nomadimouse found you unconscious in the desert and dumped your body here. You must've gotten lost; the nomadimouse found you only two clicks away from Dry Dry Ruins."

"No. S-someone was um…I think someone's following me."

"Following you?"

Doopliss sighed. "Do me a favor: Look out the window and see if you see someone out there who looks suspicious."

The Toad peered through the window and saw a hyper cleft wearing glasses and sipping a cool, tasty tonic. Whether or not it was the eerie blue eyes that were donned by the sunglasses or the fact he was holding a glass despite having no hands, there was something about the cleft that seemed…off.

"Uh, there's this bright green rock thing outside with sunglasses on. He a friend of yours?"

"No…that's exactly the problem. I think that guy's trying to kill me."

"Whoa!! Look I don't want any trouble sir so maybe you should—"

"I'm gonna need your help."

"What?!"

"You're not claustrophobic right?"

"No."

"Good. Now I want you to put this black sheet over your body…

* * *

"How long is this going to take you Blaze?"

"I already got them in my condo Trowzer. This plan is 100% foolproof."

Blaze was currently talking to Trowzer on his cellphone behind closed, locked doors.

"You're absolutely sure you can take care of this?"

"I told you, it's two plumbers, a koopa, and a doll. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Mallick said the same thing; look what happened to him."

"I'm more than just a hitkoopa Trowzer. Don't worry about me."

"I'm not worried about you. Frankly, I don't give a (censored) about you or your personal issues."

"…Now that wasn't callous." said Blaze, flatly.

"Of course not."

"Look I know exactly what I'm going to do, but I just need you to authorize it."

"Why?"

"Just in case you backstab me and dump this whole conspiracy on me. At least I'll be able to honestly tell the authorities, should they ever catch me, that you were the one who told me to do this."

"Why would I backstab you?"

"You just told me you don't care about me; that means I'm expendable to you."

Trowzer sighed and pressed his fingers against his forehead, forced into an ultimatum.

"Either you authorize me to do this or I walk."

Trowzer huffed loudly and put the cellphone next to his ear, whispering into the voice box.

"Kill 'em."

**02:11:12…02:11:13…02:11:14…02:11:15…**


	29. 24 Mushrooms, part 2

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 2 of 5. Ludwig finds a reliable source from Iggy's ex-girlfriend, Doopliss finds a way to ambush his assailant, and Blaze puts his phase of execution into action, only for it to go horribly awry.

**24 Mushrooms (Part 2)**

* * *

Back in Dry Dry Desert, Doopliss was busy cutting holes inside of one of the bed sheets for eyes so the Toad could see through them. After he finished that, he walked over to the Toad and threw the black sheet over him, covering him from head-to-toe.

"Sir, why are you doing this?"

"Just a plan I've had in my mind for a while. If only Bowser were here, then maybe he'd be admiring me instead of always ignoring me and calling me Freak-in-the-Sheet. Why does no one pay attention to me?!!?"

"What?"

Doopliss sighed. "Nothing. Now put on this party hat—"

"Whuh?"

The duplighost strapped a decorative hat onto the Toad's head before taking out a blue bow.

"And this blue bowtie…and we're done!"

Doopliss stepped back from the toad and smiled widely, looking at the doppelganger that he had created. He looked exactly like himself, except for the obscure size of his head, but Doopliss figured the hyper cleft spy wouldn't notice. It was all part of his master grand plan that would help him in the long run.

"Explain to me one more time what you want me to do?"

"It's simple: Just walk outside and drift around town. While you do that, I'll be watching you from afar observing your movements to make sure you don't get into trouble. That spy outside will think that you're me when in reality, I'm you."

"…What?"

"Damn, that did not come out right. You heard of the term doppelganger?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, good. Now walk outside."

"Won't this cleft person attack me?"

"…You're probably gonna die…" whispered Doopliss.

"What?"

"Good luck!"

Doopliss shoved the Toad outside and slammed the door, observing him from the window. The Toad looked left and right before he sighed heavily and started walking down the light yellow path of the outpost, crossing a couple of buildings and a few fence posts. The hyper cleft followed the fake Doopliss closely, trying to figure out where he would go before he could ambush him. The Toad, reaching the dead-end part of the outpost, decided to take a left and walked down the secret path leading to the mystical Merlee and her tent that gave adventures tremendous power and luck. However, the Toad saw no one in the area, and grew paranoid by the second when even the Nomadimouse who always hung out in the area wasn't there either.

"Okay, I think I'm done with this game; I'm gonna go back to the motel before—"

The Toad yelped and hopped into the air holding his buttocks like it was on fire. He fell back to the ground before he even had time to react. The hyper cleft scurried over to the Toad and started stabbing him over and over and over again with the spikes on his body, inflicting massive damage upon him. The Toad tried to punch him, but once he did, he yelped again and started whining. The spikes on hyper clefts were notorious for piercing flesh with ease, no matter what kind of animal it belonged to.

"STOP POKING ME!!"

"Shut up! Now hold still while I charge myself up…"

The cleft clomped his boots backwards and rolled his eyes around before a loud pulsating whir was heard and he hopped into the air, glowing like blue fire emitting from a range. The Toad was too wounded to do anything, and with no other option, laid helpless on the ground against his foe. The hyper cleft started to shake and jumble around like a quake beginning to erupt. Suddenly, a loud zip was heard and he darted forward like a bullet exiting a pistol. The hyper cleft was going for the kill. The Toad was impaled in the torso by the large spike…or, he would've been, if it hadn't been for Doopliss. The duplighost appeared from a rooftop and fell to the ground with a giant slab of thick wood in his hands. The cleft slammed into the wood and his spike was instantly stuck inside, like gum on a shoe. The cleft started to panic and mutter swear words, but with no arms or any working limbs besides his feet, he couldn't do anything but jolt his stubby feet around. Doopliss lifted up the wood with the hyper cleft still stuck inside of it, smiling and chuckling to himself.

"Now what's a little servant of Trowzer doing spying on me in Dry Dry Desert?"

"I dunno who you're talking about!!" he retorted.

"Yeah, you're just some random cleft who tried to kill me. You got no agenda whatsoever and you just felt like poking random duplighosts, am I right?"

"Exactly!"

Doopliss huffed and began to walk away. "Well, perhaps we'll learn more after 'interrogation'. Oh, and thanks for playing as the bait, it really helped me out."

"SHUT UP!! I almost died and I got stabbed over twelve times! You have any idea how painful it is to get stabbed in the ass?!?"

"I don't think I have an ass."

"Let me ask you something: If you are a duplighost, why the (censored) didn't you just copy my DNA and walk outside of the motel looking like me instead of turning me into bait?!"

"When else am I gonna see a Toad get stabbed in the ass?"

* * *

* * *

Ludwig was busy walking inside of a financial building desperately seeking Iggy's ex-girlfriend, Skipy. Skipy was a regular koopa troopa, but she wore a light blue shell and shoes like a shady koopa normally would. The two reptiles had been dating each other for several months until Skipy decided to break away from Iggy three months before his death…and shortly before Bowser's coalition began. Ludwig knew it was a too big of a coincidence, and he had to find out what was going on.

"Elark I can handle myself. I don't need you backing me up."

"Yeah well, with the stuff that's been going on lately, Mario and your father and your uncle, I wouldn't be surprised if your uncle had someone on the inside."

"…I thought you didn't believe me?"

"I-I-I don't. But uh, we can't rule anything out right?"

"We live in a world where a giant flower attacks people by vomiting brown goop on his enemies; no, I'm not ruling anything out, especially any theories involving Trowzer."

"You seriously think there's a conspiracy going on, don't you?"

Ludwig shrugged. "I know there's something wrong with this picture."

"You sure I shouldn't come with you?"

Ludwig sighed. "C'mon let's go find him."

Ludwig and Elark began to search for Iggy's ex all over the building, walking past several fake plants and ferns resting in the corners and on top of desks. They heard a couple of telephones rings and the composer suddenly heard a faint female koopa talking in the distance. Ludwig looked over a large cubicle and saw the yellow koopa talking to someone on the cellphone, ready to leave the building.

"Yep, that's her."

"Damn, I see why Iggy was banging her."

"They did not _bang_ each other Elark."

"So they (censored) each other?"

"Can we get back on topic?!"

"Heh heh, sorry."

Ludwig and Elark slowly followed Skipy through the back door of the building, leading to a large flight of stairs that eventually led to the roof of the area. Skipy needed to smoke a cigarette and already got in trouble a couple of times with her boss for doing it during her working hours, and right now, it was her break. As they spotted the koopa on the rooftops, she put the cigarette in-between her lips and took out a lighter, desperately attempting to get out a flame and ignite the cigarette.

"Hey Skipy."

The koopa gasped with surprise and turned around to see the koopaling with a blank expression on his face and his "chauffer" behind him. It hadn't been a while since Skipy saw Ludwig, let alone anyone in Bowser's gene pool. The last time Ludwig saw Skipy he said some colorful words to her after she broke his heart so abruptly, and drove Iggy even more insane than he originally was.

"Ludwig. What are you doing here?"

"Y'know, was in the neighborhood, wanted to see you, so I figure I might as well come by your job and pay you a visit."

"Oh, okay then. So um…how's your life treating you?"

"My brother's dead and there's a conspiracy going on in my family, but otherwise I feel good."

"Junior?"

"No, Iggy."

Skipy didn't say anything and simply looked over the ledge of the roof, out into the horizon, still trying to light up her cigarette. Ludwig folded his arms and snorted, getting suspicious by the second.

"Let me get this straight: the woman who supposedly loved my younger brother just found out her true love died."

"Yeah, so?"

"You didn't even bat an eye or blink."

"…So?"

"…Am I telling you something you already know?" he growled, taking three steps towards Skipy.

"Why would you think that?"

Ludwig sighed and rubbed his head. "You were dating my brother for nearly four years. No matter how many times my brother Roy persuaded him that you were just using him like a little pawn, no matter how many times my father told him that if he didn't break up with you, a little 'accident' will occur, and no matter how many times my sister cussed you out due to envy, you still dated and you still loved each other. Then, out of nowhere, for reasons you can't explain, you break up with him."

"Okay."

"See, the thing is Skip, you broke up with him about a month before he died…and not long before all this activity with my father began. Many people would find this a coincidence, but due to my investigative nature, and the fact I'm paranoid I don't think I can believe that."

"What are you saying Ludwig?"

"I think you knew about my brother's death a month ago. I think someone forced you to break up with my brother or else they'd do something 'terrible' to you. Overall, I think you're lying to me right now."

"Ludwig, let's face it, we never liked each other. We never did and we never will. I know you're upset about your brother but coming to my job and harassing me isn't going to make him—"

"You know my brother was gonna marry you?"

Skippy dropped her cigarette and her pupils dilated.

"What?"

"Yeah. 'Bout a week before you guys broke up, Iggy told me he was gonna propose to you. He showed me the ring and everything. He was so happy he almost cried in my arms when he hugged me. I'm sure he may have hinted it at you, maybe mentioned that he was going to share his love to you forever."

"Yes…he did say something like that…"

"So tell now what happened to my brother. Did they bribe you with money? Did they threaten you to stay away?"

"I…I need to get back to work; I'm sorry."

Ludwig grabbed Skipy's arm tightly and forced her to stay on the roof, unable to get back to the stairwell.

"We're not done here."

"Ludwig let go of me!"

"You're gonna tell me what I want to know or I swear to God, you're gonna feel my wrath and I'm gonna make sure you spend the rest of your life in turmoil and sorrow. You understand me?!"

"There's nothing left to say! I broke up because of your family okay?! I-I couldn't date anyone whose father is a criminal mastermind; it wouldn't work out! Now just leave me alone and let me get back to my job okay?!"

Skipy broke free of Ludwig's grip and stormed off into the stairwell, quickly running down the stairs away from Ludwig and Elark. Ludwig growled gutturally and sighed with frustration.

"She knows something."

"Maybe, maybe not. But if I were you, pursuing leads by harassing women at their jobs isn't something the cops would enjoy."

"You're right…you're right. Maybe we should go back to the castle and search my brother's room. Perhaps he left a clue for me to find."

"If you say so."

* * *

Back in Isle Delfino, Blaze just finished his phone call and was walking into the living room of his condo, looking at Mario, Luigi, Kooper and Geno resting on his couch.

"All right, I looked at all the information. It looks like a couple of guards who were on-duty mysteriously vanished in the past hour. They could just be slacking off but since I haven't seen anything suspicious up until now—"

"You think that Trowzer of someone allied with him did something to those guards." implied Geno.

"Exactly. Again, it could just be me being paranoid but…"

"True or not it's the only lead we got so far. Perhaps we should scope out Yoshi's Island and see if anything's amiss." said Mario.

"Great! I even got a seaplane out back so it won't take us long—"

"Wait a minute, wait…you have a seaplane?" asked Kooper.

"Yeah."

"Like an actual plane that rests on water and can land in water?"

"Yeah."

"And I'm assuming none of you guys fly, right?"

"Nope." said Mario.

"No." said Luigi.

"The Star Spirits never told us how to fly…well, fly airplanes."

Kooper stared at Blaze in an awkward moment of silence until he started squinting and his tail began to wag.

"You son of a bitch."

"What?"

"YOU'RE IN LEAGUE WITH TROWZER!!!"

"Kooper why would you even think that? He's been helping us on our journey ever since we met him!"

"A: my tail is tingling. B—"

"What does your tail 'tingling' have to do with Blaze?" asked Luigi.

"Have any of you even bothered to see Over The Hedge?!?"

"That movie with all those farm animals and coyotes?"

"That was Barnyard Luigi!"

"You mean that movie with the hyper-active squirrel Hammy?"

"Yeah, that one!!"

"Hammy's awesome." said Mario.

"Yeah, he froze time by drinking nothing but a can of soda. I know that the Star Spirit Klevar can freeze time with his magical power, but I'm fairly confident he doesn't do it by drinking a sugary beverage." said Geno.

"SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH!!"

"OK, damn. We're sorry we like a movie character."

"In the movie Verne always said his tail tingled whenever something bad was about to happen and my tail in tingling beyond recognition right now!"

"So your tail's tingling. That does not make me a traitor."

"B: don't any of you find it a fat ass coincidence that immediately when none of us have any leads, Blaze just randomly comes over and says, 'I think I know what Trowzer's planning.' and it turns out to be valid?!"

"Well I'm sorry for trying to stop evil, Kooper. Maybe next time I'll keep my maw shut and we'll just stand around and do nothing until the world implodes and whatever's left is under the grimy fist of Trowzer."

"…Now that Kooper mentions it, some of this does sound odd." said Geno.

"Exactly! And Geno's the nerd of the group!"

"…I would prefer spiritual guidance trapped in a doll, but okay."

"I'm telling you guys I am not a traitor! I'm just trying to help out okay? Now let's get into the seaplane before we run out of time."

"Who was on the phone?"

"What?"

"Who were you talking to on your cellphone behind closed doors?"

"Y'know…a friend…"

"Friend huh?"

"Yeah."

"Is this friend Trowzer by any chance?"

"Nuh-hmm."

Everyone raised an eyebrow and stared at Blaze. "What?"

"Nuh-hmm."

"What do you mean nuh-hmm?"

"I mean nuh-hmm!"

"Who the hell says nuh-hmm?!" asked Luigi.

"I've heard uh-uh and mm-hmm and nuh-uh and uh-huh…but nuh-hmm? That's like a double negative!"

"No, double positive."

"No, it's not!"

"Blaze were you talking to Trowzer or not?" asked Mario.

"Nuh-hmm."

"Stop saying that!!"

"Yes or no Blaze?"

"Mm-uh."

"What the (censored) is that?!!? Who the (censored) says Mm-uh?!" shouted Kooper.

"Blaze just answer the damn question!! Is it 'uh-uh' or 'mm-hmm'?!" demanded Mario.

"It's mm-uh."

"Whatever, let's just go." said Luigi.

Everyone began to walk over to the door until Kooper stared at the red Yoshi, still suspicious of his behavior and inability to answer the question straight forward. He wasn't sure why but a small nerve is his brain made him open his mouth and swear at Blaze.

"BULL(CENSORED)!!"

Kooper grabbed Blaze by the throat and pinned him to the wall, keeping a firm grip on his neck and choking him, squeezing the breath out of his lungs. Blaze started grunting and gasping for air, but nothing was working and he couldn't move at all.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked in a stained voice.

"You listen to me you son of a bitch,"

Before Kooper could finish, Blaze chucked an egg at Mario and clocked him in the head, dousing him with a steamy hot yolk. While Kooper was choking him, Blaze was surreptitiously laying an egg into his hand, which he used to attack Mario with. The loud shatter caused Kooper to momentarily turn around to see what happened. It was one of his biggest mistakes ever, because Blaze jerked his hand away and head-butted him, causing his nose to bleed almost instantly. The Yoshi quickly ran over to Luigi before he had time to react and obnoxiously slapped him across the face, almost knocking him to the floor and making the Italian plumber yelp.

"BITCH DID YOU JUST SLAP ME!!?!?"

Blaze retorted by spitting in his eyes, again.

"GENO—"

"No ya don't!!"

Blaze tackled the magical doll like a football player and both of them fell on Blaze's table, breaking the legs and collapsing the whole thing with a loud shatter. The red Yoshi started punching the doll across the cheeks with both of his hands like there was no tomorrow. That is, until he felt something straining his neck and realized that he couldn't breathe again. Luigi put the Yoshi in a chokehold and started to drag him off Geno until Blaze jerked his head backwards and hit Luigi in the face. Blaze ran away from the plumber and leaped forward, crawling under another table and getting a gun from underneath it. Kooper sprang back into action after recovering from his bloody nose and kicked Blaze in the arm, knocking the gun away just as he fired off a shot. Luckily, no one was hurt. Blaze countered Kooper and tripped him with both of his legs, sending him flat on the floor and hurting his nose yet again. Geno got up from the ground and started attacking Blaze, shooting stars from his disembodied arms like they were bullets from a machine gun, hitting him from all directions. Blaze shook his head before growling loudly and looking at Geno. He spat out his tongue and latched it onto Geno's body, quickly pulling it back in and putting the doll inside his mouth. Instead of swallowing him, he regurgitated Geno so hard that his body went flying out of a window. Geno screamed and twirled his body around until he landed several feet below into the water with a loud splash. Blaze started panting heavily to recover from his wounds when he slowly walked over to go get his house phone.

"I gotta call Trowzer."

The second Blaze picked up his phone, Mario shot a fireball at his face and he dropped the phone. Blaze jumped into the air and did his infamous ground pound move, slamming onto the ground with his rump and pinning the plumber flat on the floor. Kooper ran over and kicked Blaze in the chin, toppling him on his back. In the midst of the chaos, Luigi grabbed Blaze's phone and hurried into his bathroom, shutting the door.

"Uh—uh…"

Luigi looked at the toilet.

"TOILET!"

Luigi threw the phone into the toilet bowl.

"FLUSH!!"

Luigi flushed the toilet, spreading water all over the phone and ruining the communication device. However it was too big to fit down the hole.

"LUIGI WHAT THE (CENSORED)!!!"

"Oh yeah, big fight."

As Luigi was exiting the bathroom, Blaze kicked the door in and whacked the plumber in the face, launching his body backwards and making him bust his head on the counter of the sink. Blaze quickly locked the door and looked into the toilet, grabbing his phone and examining it. He desperately tried to activate it, but all the water screwed up the battery and the phone was inoperable.

"You assholes ruining my portable phone!!!"

Mario and Kooper busted down the door and landed on top of Blaze, the door pinning him to the ground. After that, it was all yelling and screaming and shouting and punching and noise. Luigi recovered from his wounds and got up, taking off the toilet lid and bludgeoning the Yoshi in the head with it while Mario and the door were on top of him. Kooper snatched the phone off the floor and threw it into the bathtub before he got inside and started jumping up and down on the phone like a monkey, repeatedly shouting out, "I'M CRUSHING YOUR PORTABLE PHONE!!! I'M CRUSHING YOUR PORTABLE PHONE!!!" in a taunting, mocking tone. After the phone was ruined, he went over to Blaze and started kicking him in the face. On one side, Mario was punching Blaze in the nose. On another side, Luigi was smacking a thick toilet lid against his head. On another, a koopa was kicking him in the side of his head. It was all very frustrating for Blaze, having absolutely no way to defend himself. He couldn't punch anyone; his arms and legs were buried under the broken door. He couldn't lay eggs without crushing them over his own body. And he couldn't grab any of them with his tongue because everytime he tried to, he'd get hit in the head.

"Time—"

Luigi hit him in the head.

"Time—"

Kooper kicked him in the face.

"TIME (CENSORED) OUT! TIME OUT!!!"

Everyone stopped hitting Blaze and started panting loudly, awkwardly staying perfectly still and hearing nothing but the sound of the waves faintly crashing onto the beach outside and their own raspy breaths. Blaze looked left and right slowly before he slowly took one of his arms from underneath the door.

"Time in."

His words spilled out of his mouth like a bee and he punched Kooper in the groin even faster. The koopa groaned with his mouth shut and grabbed his crotch, falling to his knees and coughing violently. Mario was about to give aid to Kooper, but Blaze kicked the door off of him and Mario was sent flying backwards. Blaze started attacking Mario yet again, kicking him in the face and chucking a pretty expensive vase at his head, almost knocking him out. Meanwhile, Kooper had finally gotten off the floor, still walking around with a throbbing crotch. Kooper snarled and grabbed Blaze by the skin on his head.

"ENOUGH!"

Blaze tried to break free, but it was useless.

"THIS ENDS NOOOOOOWW!!"

With that, Kooper proceeded to drag Blaze across the ground until he slammed his head into the wall. Not against the wall, _through_ it. His head broke through the plaster and collided with the metal and gave Blaze a massive concussion. When Kooper pulled his head back out, he only managed to stand up for a second or two before falling backwards, unconscious. Mario and Luigi could do nothing but stare at the near-lifeless Yoshi and the aggravated koopa troopa.

"…Damn Kooper."

"Was that too much?"


	30. 24 Mushrooms, part 3

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 3 of 5. Ludwig's search finally yields a result, Doopliss quickly learns of Trowzer's intentions, and Mario and the gang interrogate Blaze.

**24 Mushrooms (Part 3)**

_02:30:14…02:30:15…02:30:16…02:30:17…02:30:18…02:30:19…_

Doopliss was standing inside the Toad Inn sitting across from the hyper cleft assassin, rubbing his head. He was currently thinking of a way he could make the little rock monster talk and spill all the information he knew about Trowzer without wasting any valuable time. If they got to Darrik quickly and had the balls to rip his jaw off, let alone kill him, Doopliss was sure the assassin had another team standing by.

"Look just tell me why you're trying to kill me and I'll let you go. It's that simple."

"Hmph! That's what they all say, and the next thing you know I got a bullet in eye!"

"This is the Mushroom Kingdom! Who the hell uses guns in a Mario game?"

"You're not aware of the ray guns, are you?" said the Toad inside the inn.

"Shut up."

The hyper cleft sighed and shook his head. "Let me make this easy for you: there's nothing you can do to me that'll make me confess the information I know of, and there's no way to stop Trowzer. Perhaps if you just hand yourself over, he'll just throw you in a vat of lava and won't feed you to his dragons."

"Neither of those options sounds pleasant."

"What'd you expect, it's Trowzer. You don't even wanna know what they did to Darrik."

"Besides ripping his jaw clean off?"

"Yeah, _besides_ that. Point is you might as well let me go. You can't touch me without hurting yourself and not even fire can harm me."

"I thought only regular clefts were impervious to fire?" asked the Toad.

"No, you're thinking of bald clefts." said the assassin.

"No, it's regular clefts too."

"What about the dark bristles?"

"No, those are a sub-species of the regular bristles. The regular bristles are impervious to fire, not the dark ones."

"That makes no sense. Why would the sub-species not be fire impervious, but the regular version is?"

"Now that you mention that, what's the deal with gloombas? Just cause they live in the sewers makes them stronger—"

"NO ONE GIVES A (CENSORED)!"

Doopliss exhaled and rubbed his head.

"Listen, I'm giving you one last chance to tell me what you know about Trowzer before you see something that will scar you for the rest of eternity."

"That's how you threaten me? By showing me something that will supposedly scar my eyes for—"

"Cover your eyes."

"Why?" asked the Toad.

"Trust me, you need to shut your eyes now."

The Toad shrugged and turned away from Doopliss, shutting his eyes tightly.

"C'mon Doopliss, you should just give up now and—"

Doopliss lifted up the sheet that covered his body and revealed his grotesque appearance to the hyper cleft. There was no words to describe what the hyper cleft saw. All that can be said is that he shrieked so loud and so long that not only did his own sunglasses shatter, but the window and the Toad's ears as well, one of which was now bleeding. Doopliss dropped his sheet and looked at the sweating, panting, scared little hyper cleft.

"Now, are you gonna be a good little cleft and tell me everything you know, or do I have to raise my sheet again?"

The hyper cleft nodded and shuddered. "Y-Y-Yes, yes I'll answer."

"Why is Trowzer trying to kill me?"

"He found out you and Darrik stole his cellphone and were digging up information on him behind his back. When Darrik found out, he had to be eliminated ASAP."

"…So he is dead."

"More or less. He figured Darrik told you something about the information he found—"

Doopliss chuckled. "Darrik didn't tell me anything. He just said he found information on his phone that he's plotting behind his brother's back, but he never told me the actual information."

"He couldn't take the chance of letting you live."

"Okay. Okay. What is he doing to get back at his brother?"

"I don't know."

Doopliss started to lift his sheet, forcing the hyper cleft to scream and thrash his feet around.

"I DON'T KNOW! I'm just an assassin; he doesn't tell me details about his personal life!"

"You know something about his plans."

"He said something about taking over Yoshi's Island."

"Why?"

"Because the son of a bitch is greedy, that's why! He's out to find more land to expand his empire, and what better way to do that than taking over one of the most populated Yoshi locations throughout the Kingdom? It'd be very easy to use all the Yoshis as slaves or even assist him in world domination, dont'cha think?"

"That does sound smart. How the hell is this guy related to Bowser?"

"But I don't know what he's doing against his family. All I heard was some about Iggy—"

"Iggy's dead."

"Coincidence that it happens around the same time Mario and his brothers invade his airship? That it happens shortly before one of the Koopa Bros. is killed? That it happens shortly after Darrik is kidnapped and tortured to death?"

Doopliss blinked a few times and stared at the assassin. "There is no way that Trowzer would actually kill his entire—"

"You sure about that? Cause Darrik and Iggy and Yellow's deaths seemed to solve a lot of problems for the guy. And I was seconds away from murdering you a few minutes ago."

"So what do we do now?"

"What do you mean 'we'?"

"If Trowzer is as bad as you say he is, don't you think he'll kill you the second he realizes you failed?"

The hyper cleft's eyes grew wide. "Oh (censored), you're right. My guess is we—I can't believe I'm saying this—work together to find any information we can about Trowzer."

"I tried that. I wound up sticking my hand in a toilet full of (censored) and yielded no results for it."

"But you weren't working with a guy who already knows what Trowzer's doing. All I have to do is go back to him, say I killed you, get paid, make an excuse as to why I should stay with his league, and I can find as much information from him as I want and hand it off to you."

"Sounds like a plan."

"…How'd you get like that anyway?"

"Like what?"

"Your body?"

"Oh, that. See, I was playing with fire and sulfuric acid…"

* * *

"Ludwig there is nothing here, nothing!"

"No, Elark. I know Iggy left a clue for me to find. We just-we just gotta keep searching for it."

"Ludwig,"

"What?"

"Are you sure you're not going crazy and fixating on your brother's death, imagining there's some conspiracy going on when it's all in your head?"

"It sounds like you don't believe in my investigation anymore Elark."

"I didn't say that—"

"You implied it."

"—And you didn't answer the question."

"No, I am not fixating on Iggy's death! There's something wrong with this situation; the-the timing's just…it's not right."

"Maybe it's someone other than Trowzer? An unknown fourth party?"

Ludwig scoffed. "I doubt that. No, with everything that's happened, I've come to three conclusions: the first is that my half-uncle had something to do with Iggy's death. The second is that maybe Mario did kill Iggy, which I highly doubt."

"And the third?"

Ludwig huffed. "There's a mole in Bowser's league either working with Trowzer or plotting to rebel against him, and they were involved in the death of my brother."

Elark looked at Ludwig for a while and watched as he bent down to continue ransacking through his late brother's belongings, chucking dirty beakers that used to house potions and other weird gizmos such as telescopes and failed robot experiments to the ground. The dark koopa looked left and right before digging inside his shell and taking out a thin line of fiber wire, wrapping it around his hands. He slowly eased over to the koopa while he had his back turn, making sure he timed this perfectly.

"Mole huh?"

"Yep. That's the only way Trowzer can possibly know how to execute all his operations without folly."

"Maybe he's just naturally smart, unlike your father." replied Elark, getting a little closer to Ludwig.

"That's a possibility. Actually, that's a fact. My half-uncle is smarter than my father and brothers combined. However, that just gives another motive for him to do this. It's _because_ he's this wise that he's able to mastermind all the chaos that's happened."

Elark raised his arms, prepared to garrote Ludwig.

"Hey uh, what are your siblings doing anyway?"

"I think they're still trying to wage war against Mario."

(Perfect! Now I have all the time to murder the sucker and hide the body before anyone notices!) thought Elark.

Just as Elark was about to murder the composer, Ludwig's cellphone began to ring. The noise startled the dark koopa and he quickly hid his fiber wire as Ludwig stood up to answer the call.

"Hello?"

The voice on the other end of the line sighed. "It's Skipy."

The composed laughed wryly and walked out of the room, standing next to his door in the middle of the corridor.

"You know you have some (censored) nerve to call me back after what you said at the apartment."

"I-I…I lied Ludwig."

"Lied about what?"

"Your brother's death. Mario isn't the one who killed Iggy."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because the people who did kill him threatened to kill me if I didn't stay away from him! That's why I broke up with him Ludwig!"

Ludwig blinked and suddenly started to show sympathy for the young female koopa, as well as fear.

"…Skipy I don't think we should talk about this over the phone." whispered Ludwig.

"There's no where else I can discuss this with you without someone spying on me."

"Okay, then tell me what happened."

"Iggy told me that he found out about someone who was stealing from Bowser's bank accounts and putting the funds in a clandestine account. When he began the investigation behind closed doors, some koopas appeared and tried to tell him to stop looking for the source, but he didn't listen. So they came to me, threatened to kill me if I didn't stay away from Iggy, and I was forced to break up with him. Now Iggy's dead and all the funds are gone."

"Are you saying my brother's death was all a cover-up for some petty theft?"

"Let me finish. I started investigating on my own, and figured out that after Iggy died, someone took out the money stored in the account and all of it was handed off to some guy named Trowzer, who's been buying—"

"Did you just say Trowzer?"

"Yes, why?"

"That's my half-uncle." growled Ludwig.

"…What do you mean your—"

"Skipy, do you still have this data with you?"

"Yes, it's at my apartment."

"Okay, tell me where you live and I'll meet you there."

"It's near Mushroom Way and close to the hill overlooking your castle."

"Great, I'm sure I can find it. I'll call you back when I get there."

Ludwig hung up his phone and put it back in his shell.

"ELARK! We gotta go now!"

"Why, what happened?"

"I finally found a promising lead. C'mon, let's head out to Mushroom Way."

"But-but uh…shouldn't we get some weapons first? This could get ugly Ludwig."

Ludwig sighed. "You're right. Someone may have a trap set out for us."

"I'll take you to this weapons depot I know about first, then we'll track down your lead."

"Whatever you say."

* * *

Back in Isle Delfino, Blaze was feeling lightheaded and woozy. A bonk on the head will do that to any normal animal, but then again, he had his entire head smashed through a wall, so he wasn't surprised. He also couldn't help but feel cold. Freezing, in fact. He felt like someone was smothering his body in ice. He couldn't feel his lips or eyelids or even his tail anymore, and he noticed that everytime he exhaled, his breath was visible. He also noticed he was dangling upside-down and swaying a little, unable to move.

"Urgh…what the hell…?" he mumbled.

"Heh, not so tough now are ya hot breath?" asked Luigi.

Blaze grunted and tried to attack the green plumber, but as he tried to move forward, he noticed that not only was he dangling upside-down, but that his whole body was constricted. If Blaze looked down at his feet—looked up rather, since he was hanging from the ceiling—he'd notice that Mario and the gang had tied him up with thick nylon rope. And if Blaze looked at his surroundings, he'd notice that he was trapped inside a giant meat locker and the temperature was below twenty degrees and getting colder.

"W-W-What did you guyssss…what d-d-did you to me?"

"You're in a meat locker Blaze, hanging upside-down from the ceiling with your body tied by nylon rope." said Geno.

"L-L-Let me go!"

"Yeah, that's a laugh. Y'know I've never seen a blue Yoshi before Mario. You think if we leave him in here long enough he'll change color?" asked Kooper.

"No, he's gotta eat a koopa with a blue shell before that happens."

"…Mario?"

"What?"

"I have a blue shell."

"It doesn't work like that. When a Yoshi eats a koopa with a blue shell, no matter what color the Yoshi is, it'll be able to grow wings and fly, but it won't turn blue." corrected Geno.

"Not true. If a Yoshi opens a ? block and finds wings inside and grabs them, then the Yoshi will automatically become blue and keep the wings temporarily."

"But what if—"

"ANYWAY," interrupted Luigi.

"You're gonna tell us everything you know about this guy Trowzer."

"Um, sure. W-W-W-Whatever y-y-you guyssss say."

Everyone raised an eyebrow and stared at Blaze. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's no fun dude! We were expecting to torture you for several hours until you cracked." whined Kooper.

"I'm freezing my a-ass off! I'll do whatever you wa-want as long as y-you get me outta here!"

"Suit yourself. So, first question: how long have you been working with Trowzer?" asked Geno.

Blaze shivered. "I dunno, 'bout a year."

"Why?"

"He gave me a (censored)load of money! Why e-else?"

"Really? He just offered you a ton of money to work behind Bowser's back and you just…took it?"

"I hate that son of a bitch! I-I was willing to-to do anything to make him suffer!"

"Bowser is annoying bro."

"That's true. Okay, so why did you betray us?"

"I said I hate Bowser; I-I-I didn't s-s-s-say I like you guys!"

"But if you hate Bowser more than you hate us, how come you didn't work with us _until_ we defeat Bowser and his army, and then betray us?"

Blaze shook his head and sighed. "Because I can't profit from being a hero, th-that's why! Oh sure, you guys have fame and blessings from the S-Star Spirits and all that (censored), but do you have wealth and money?"

"Yes." said Mario.

"S-S-Seriously?"

"You have any idea how much money we make from all those Mario Parties we have? All those 'mini-games' we play aren't just games. We make a ton of coins just for playing them, let alone winning. And I don't even have to tell you how much all those stars we buy from Toad and Toadsworth and the Millennium Star are worth when they're converted to coins." added Luigi.

Blaze exhaled. "FFFFFFFFFFFFF(CENSORED)."

"Yeah, feel reeeeaaaaaal smart now, don't you?" chuckled Kooper.

"Are you guys done yet?"

"No. What's Trowzer's next plan?"

"He s-said something about an-annexing Yoshi's Island."

"Why?"

"I don't c-care; I was born in Dinosaur-Dinosaur Land anyway. Probably expanding his empire, starting his hostile takeover of Mushroom Kingdom."

"How does he plan on executing the procedure?" asked Geno.

"He mentioned something about getting th-the Koopa Bros. to uh, to infiltrate th-th-the facility that powers the defenses that protect the is-island in disguise and blowing it up so Trowzer can-can send his forces to take the island over."

"Hey bro, don't you think we should focus on Bowser instead of Trowzer?" asked Luigi.

"I told you, at this point I think it's wise to say that Bowser's secondary. If we go after Bowser and his family, we're giving Trowzer exactly what he wants and once we defeat Bowser, Trowzer will just take his place and kill all of us in a heartbeat. Besides, who wants to bet he has another hitkoopa or hityoshi waiting to kill us if he learns that Blaze failed?"

"That doesn't mean Bowser won't do the exact same thing if we focus all of our attention on his brother."

"We'll worry about Bowser when the time comes. He's already lost one of his sons so I'm sure his morale's been shattered."

"So how do you know he won't be extremely pissed and busy trying to form his own clan of hitkoopas to kill us?"

"He won't."

"But what if he does?"

"He _won't_."

Luigi sighed. "So what's the plan now?"

"I-I-I know of a w-way to find the spot where the Koopa Bros. will s-s-s-strike. When I tell you the information, y-you-you guys can ambush them before they-they strike. And before you ask, I have n-n-n-no idea where Trowzer himself is. Now will you let me down?"

"If this works, not only will we save Yoshi's Island, but we can get the Koopa Bros. to tell us where Trowzer is." said Geno.

"Sounds like a plan. Un-tie him."

_02:37:47…02:3748…02:37:49…02:37:50…_

* * *

Ludwig and Elark were currently walking inside the vicinity of an apartment building, looking for Elark's weapons supplier. The area they were in looked vacant, and Ludwig was sure only a few people and koopas could live in such a place. At least, that's how it looked on the outside. Inside, the apartments were nice and inviting. Ludwig didn't see any walls peeling paint or find any rat holes. He didn't see any metal structures rusting. Even better was that the corridor he was currently walking through was covered with floral wallpaper and a light green carpet that felt softer than pillows and cotton combined.

"Ah, here we go. Room 1218."

"You sure this is the right place? Your weapons smuggler seems exposed in such a public environment."

Elark chuckled. "I've told him that forty times now. He still doesn't change location. Ah well, at least he keeps all his weapons concealed in a place only he knows about."

Ludwig took a sip of his coffee beverage before walking over to the door. Elark bent over and lifted the "Welcome" mat and grab the spare key that was hiding underneath it. He walked over to the door and inserted the key into the doorknob, twisting it 180 degrees before opening the door.

"Well, this is the place."

"…Wow…this is nice. Balcony, flat screen HDTV, chrome refrigerator, all these exotic plants sitting on the tables and floors. …Does that koopa shell has a custom design hanging on the coat rack?"

"Yes," said Elark, walking away from Ludwig.

"Damn, my brothers would love to have their shells customized by this guy! Where is he anyway?"

As Ludwig began to explore the apartment some more, he noticed that there was a photo of Iggy and Skipy kissing each other on the beach. He thought it was a coincidence, until he looked at the walls and tables and noticed there were at least ten photos of Skipy and Iggy together, either kissing or hugging or holding hands. Something was wrong.

"Um…Elark, why are there so many pictures of Skipy and my brother?"

Ludwig heard the door slam shut and turned around to see Elark wearing clear, latex gloves.

"Because this is Skipy's apartment."

Ludwig blinked a few times before looking around and realizing that they were indeed at her apartment. Even worse, was that Ludwig just realized he walked into a trap.

"You killed…"

Elark sighed. "Iggy was looking into things he shouldn't have. I tried to stop him, tried to stop his investigation. But he wouldn't let me. I knew sooner or later he'd figure out that I was the one stealing money from your father to fuel your half-uncle's army, so we made a plan to get rid of him. Permanently."

Ludwig gritted his teeth. He felt like ripping Elark's colon right out of his mouth and strangling the bastard with them. He felt…weak. Tired, actually. Exhausted. He could barely even stand.

"You killed my brother…" he said, before collapsing forward and spilling his beverage.

Elark walked over to the collapsed composed and grabbed the container that had the coffee inside of it. Ludwig wasn't even thirsty up until Elark offered him a drink, a drink that just so happened to be his favorite flavor of coffee. More importantly, it was a drink that had been drugged with a neuroparalyzer. In other words, Ludwig's central nervous system had been paralyzed, and he couldn't move or use any of his limbs.

"You little…(censored)…" croaked Ludwig, using his last breath.

"Relax Ludwig. Straining your voice will only make it hurt more."

Ludwig tried to get up, but all he could do was croak softly again. The only thing he could do short of moving his head less than a millimeter was moving his eyeballs and blinking. Just about all of the other functions in his body involving movement were temporarily disabled.

"I'm sorry, Ludwig, but goddamnit…I just got tired of taking orders from your father. I'm surprised you hadn't even considered joining his league. You're the smart one in the family, and Trowzer would've loved to have you as his personal advisor and aide. Better yet, his partner."

Elark shook his head. "But you're just like Iggy, couldn't keep his nose out of business that didn't concern him. If it's any consolation, you'll be joining your brother soon, and I'm sure your family will too. I'll be sure your death is quick and painless."

The dark koopa left Ludwig to lie on the floor, paralyzed, while he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a large knife from one of the drawers. Elark smiled and started to toss the wedge up and down with his hand.

**02:40:33…02:40:34…02:40:35…02:40:36…**


	31. 24 Mushrooms, part 4

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 4 of 5. Doopliss decides to change his plans at the last minute, Skipy finds Ludwig in her apartment, and Blaze leads Mario and the gang to the defense facility around Yoshi's Island.

**24 Mushrooms (Part 4)**

_02:43:29…02:43:30…02:43:31…02:43:32…02:43:33…02:43:34…_

Doopliss was busy untying the hyper cleft whilst the Toad was wiping some of the blood off his head. His left ear was still bleeding and he was having trouble hearing.

"Hey, you gonna be all right?" asked Doopliss.

"I'm fine; you just shattered my eardrum, that's all. I'm surprised I can still hear."

"It's a miracle. Now just make sure you don't tell anyone you saw either of us. Seriously, for all we know you could end up in a Dumpster by tomorrow."

"Fine, I'll just act like this never happened."

"Good," said Doopliss, walking outside the inn with the hyper cleft assassin.

"Okay, Trowzer's probably still residing in Bowser's castle. If we're lucky, I'll be able to report to him—"

"No, no, no, wait a second," said Doopliss.

The hyper cleft stopped walking and turned around. "What?"

The duplighost sighed. "What if we head over to Yoshi's Island? If we run into the Koopa Bros., we can warn them about Trowzer—we can tell them everything!"

"You're aligned with Bowser, not Trowzer. Even if those TMNT rip-offs were smart enough to believe you, why would they? They'd be in denial and say you're only telling them that Trowzer killed Yellow to distract them from their mission."

"Dude, I'm on a solo mission right now. I can't go back to Bowser's castle—Trowzer's hitkoopas are all over the place. Not to mention Bowser and his offspring are too overcome with grief and anger to listen to me."

The duplighost huffed. "You know what; let's go to Yoshi's Island anyway."

"I just told you the Koopa Bros.—"

"That doesn't mean we can't stop them!"

The rock monster raised an eyebrow. "Aren't we supposed to be the bad guys?"

"Oh, shut up; we'll steal a baby when this is all over and even out the equation. Now how do we get there?"

"Boat's the fastest way—"

"Good. We gotta, um, we'll take the secret pipe that leads to Toad Town Sewers, get back into Toad Town, get to the harbor there, snag a boat, and we'll be on our way!"

"Have you even once thought about what you're gonna do about all this, or are you making all this (censored) up as you go?"

"My plans work better when they're half-assed."

* * *

Blaze was currently driving a boat all the way over to Yoshi's Island with a huge scowl on his face. Behind him were Kooper, Mario, Luigi, and Geno, who decided that it was best not to trust the red Yoshi for the remainder of their journey. They weren't sure what was going to happen to Blaze once Trowzer found out about his failure, but they all had a feeling it was gonna end badly for him. None of them would lose any sleep if Blaze ended up getting shot in his ear.

"How much farther?" asked Geno.

"I don't (censored) know. Do I look like a GPS?"

"Just shut up and keep sailing straight."

Blaze sighed and continued to sail. The boat was chugging along the clear, blue water, but the Yoshi knew that something bad was going to happen very soon. The sky was dark gray; he caught the faint smell of rain in the air. The red dinosaur was suddenly beginning to regret what he had done back in his the freezer. So what if they threatened to freeze him to death? What Trowzer would do to him for deceiving him would surely be twenty times worse. The Yoshi looked behind his shoulder and was kicked in the butt by Kooper.

"Did I say you could turn around?"

Blaze growled and rolled his eyes as he turned around. "Do any of you guys know what you're getting into?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're in over our heads, we're fighting fire with fire, blah, blah, blah. Blaze, we've been shot at already—with actual guns for that matter! An oversized koopa has placed a bounty on all of our heads and my bro's arch nemesis thinks we all killed one of his sons! What could possibly be worse than that? Please tell me what is so horrible about Trowzer!" Luigi demanded.

"You guys all remember that massacre down at that Toad campsite?"

"That bloodbath that was all over the news? Yeah, why?" asked Mario.

"Who do you think orchestrated that to go down? Before Trowzer began doing what he does now, he was a bit of a loan shark. He gave this Toad he knew some money so he could pay off his bills, but the Toad never bothered to pay Trowzer back."

"So he warned the guy a couple times, right?" asked Mario.

"Well, that's the punch line: Trowzer didn't say anything at all. After he gave the Toad money, he said thanks and then spent it all. Couple weeks later, Trowzer finds out the guy's camping in Woody Woods, so he goes out with a couple of dark koopas and kills 'em all."

"…What do you mean?"

"I mean the son of a bitch killed them! There was no warning or reminder; he just walked up to everyone and killed them. The Toad, his girlfriend, all their goomba and koopa friends—he even killed the goddamn chain chomp they had as a pet."

Luigi shuddered. "Oh yeah, that…think the news said someone ripped its jaw off."

"So if a guy like him can do all of that to some Toad who borrowed money from him, what do you think he's gonna do to you guys, let alone me? You already blew one of his dark hitkoopas into smithereens; that's a death sentence right there."

"I'm not worried. If what you're saying is true, then Trowzer requires the need for all of us in order to defeat Bowser and his minions. It won't be until _after_ they're all gone that Trowzer will be gunning for us. We've nothing to worry about. You on the other hand, you've failed Trowzer already, and you're helping his foes dismantle one of his primary operations. He doesn't need you any more, Blaze, so if anyone here should be worried, I think it'd be you." Geno said.

Blaze thought about countering the doll, but as the words were beginning to come out of his mouth, he froze and suddenly frowned. Geno was right. Mario and his team had nothing to worry about now. No matter what they did to Trowzer, he would always have some sort of contingency plan. But now that Blaze had failed the koopa, he had no reason to keep him alive. He had to think of a way to foil Mario's plans without causing too much suspicion.

"Yeah…you're right…"

* * *

Elark grunted as he sat Ludwig up in a chair. The composer was still paralyzed from the neck down and couldn't move any part of his body. All he could do was breathe hoarsely and move his eyes a little. Everytime the dark koopa glanced up at Ludwig's eyes, all he could see in them was hatred. He kept flashing him this look that suggested he wanted to (or was going to) rip his limbs apart from his body and watch as he bled out. But no matter how hard he tried, the koopa couldn't move. At best he was capable of gritting his teeth, nothing more.

"Stop trying to fight it, sir. I told you: the neuroparalyzer can last up to three hours. You're not getting out of here alive, so just remain still for now. Skipy should be here soon."

What the hell does Skipy have to do with anything? thought Ludwig.

"It should only be about a minute now before she's on her break from work…" said Elark as he checked the clock on the wall.

Elark grabbed the knife he had sitting on the counter in Skipy's kitchen and quickly stepped out of Ludwig's line of sight. He wasn't sure where the dark koopa went, but he could see part of his tail wagging. Elark was hiding somewhere, in a place that Skipy wouldn't be able to see. And Ludwig was sitting in a chair not far from the door. He glanced over at it, realizing he had to warn her somehow. There just had to be some way to get around the toxin's effects. Unfortunately, he had no time to think it through; about thirty seconds later, Ludwig heard someone rattling their keys from outside. It didn't take long before Skipy unlocked her door and walked inside her apartment. She couldn't ignore Ludwig, and gasped when she saw him sitting so calmly in the middle of the living room.

"Jesus, Ludwig, what the hell are you doing here?"

She didn't sound scared anymore. If anything, she was annoyed that he was invading her privacy and actually had the balls to break into her apartment. Skipy shut the door and stared at Ludwig for a moment, expecting him to say something. He didn't do anything.

"Look, I know you're upset about Iggy. I am too, but I already told you all that I know—breaking into my house and ransacking through my things isn't going to help anything."

Ludwig tried to open his mouth, but all he could do was inhale and exhale, his chest rising and falling. He flicked his eyes over to Elark's tail, but Skipy didn't seem to notice what he did. Ludwig flicked his eyes over at Elark's tail again. Skipy still didn't notice.

"…Something wrong, Ludwig?" she asked, walking a little closer to him.

Ludwig let out a tiny squeal before he saw Elark stand up and step out into the living room, right behind Skipy. He crouched down, the knife in his gloved hand, and began to sneak up behind her. Ludwig's eyes grew wide.

"Seriously, Ludwig, you look like you just saw an Atomic Boo. What's wrong?"

Ludwig croaked again and tried to lower his jaw. He managed to grit his teeth and opened his mouth just enough to let out a short word.

"Get…"

"Get what, Ludwig?"

Elark was just a couple of feet away and getting closer. Ludwig started to let out labored breaths.

"Get…"

The dark koopa stood up, now only inches away from the female koopa.

"Damnit, Ludwig, I don't understand what you're saying! Just tell me—"

Skipy grunted when Elark stabbed her in the back of the neck. She remained very still until she coughed up blood and let out a tiny whimper. She couldn't breathe any more and was having trouble getting the words out of her mouth. Skipy coughed up more blood again before Elark removed the knife and kicked her down onto the floor. Ludwig just stared down at the wounded koopa as she let out another tiny whimper and slowly extended her left arm forward, as though Ludwig would suddenly spring to life, beat up her assailant, and patch up her wound before she died. But Elark had everything covered. The dark koopa flipped her over onto her shell and kneeled down in front of her. Skipy stared at him, expecting the koopa to show her mercy. Instead, he took the knife and slashed her throat open. Elark waited patiently as watched as she slowly bled out all over the floor, and eventually passed away. Ludwig felt defeated.

"Well, that's one loose end taken care of."

Elark stood up and approached Ludwig, stepping over Skipy's body and pool of blood, just when his cellphone rang. The dark koopa sighed and pulled it out of his shell to answer it.

"Yeah."

"Are you taking care of that situation?"

"Yes, sir, I'm handling it."

"I'm gonna need you back here so we can discuss our next plan."

"I thought you, uh, had the Koopa Bros. working on that?"

"They are, but once they're done, I'll be sending in my own men to finish the job, and I need as many men with me as possible while that's happening. This is gonna be important."

"What could be more important than taking over Yoshi's Island?"

"I can't tell you over the phone. Just take care of Ludwig and get back here."

"Fine."

Elark slammed his phone shut and slid it back into his shell. Then he carefully placed the handle of the knife into Ludwig's open palm before bending all of his fingers far enough for him to grip it. Ludwig felt like taking his right hand and stabbing Elark right in the throat with it, but he still couldn't move. He'd just have to sit there and hope that one of his brothers or his sister would notice his disappearance and send help as soon as possible.

"Shame really. A koopa as wise as you drove himself to murder/suicide."

Elark removed the knife from Ludwig's grip and placed it down on Skipy's table.

"Sit tight, sir. I wouldn't want you to wander off," he said, mocking his state of paralysis.

As the dark koopa began to walk away from Ludwig, the koopa looked down at his right hand and noticed his fingers moving a little. He panted softly before gritting his teeth and curling his fingers into a fist. Then he looked down at his feet and watched as he slowly balled up the toes on his left foot. The composer wasn't sure how much of that neuroparalyzer he was given, but his body seemed to be fighting it off a helluva lot quicker than it was supposed to. …Maybe he didn't need any help dealing with Elark after all.

**02:50:13…02:50:14…02:50:15…02:50:16…**


	32. 24 Mushrooms, part 5

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Conclusion. The Koopa Bros. begin to execute their operation, but things don't go exactly as planned when they run into unexpected guests, and Elark's plan to kill Ludwig takes a turn for the worst.

**24 Mushrooms (Part 5)**

_02:53:48…02:53:49…02:53:50…02:53:51…02:53:52…02:53:53…02:53:54…_

Red, Black, and Green were walking up towards the defense facility, wearing the same type of uniforms that the KP koopa guards wore. The facility looked like an old warehouse that had turrets installed onto the roof and shield generators that would activate and turn on the shields when it was necessary. There were KP koopas all over the complex, many of whom were patrolling along the elevated platforms or along the beach. They blended right in with the crowd, although many of them found it a bit odd that the three turtles had their bandannas around their head and eyes, not their necks. Not to mention that they weren't even colored yellow—one was red, one black, and one green. Red walked up to the security booth, where he and his two brothers were stopped by two burly-looking KP koopas.

"I don't remember any of you koopas being on the crew manifest…and your bandannas aren't colored correctly. What are you guys doing here?"

"Boss said you guys were having a problem in the server room. Said you needed a few maintenance koopas to patch up everything?"

The burly guard examined Red, Black, and Green. The order sounded legit—truth was, they did suffer from server failures thanks to the mainframe overheating—but there was still something strange about the koopas.

"Where's your tools?" he asked.

"Everything we need is right in here," said Green, holding up a black toolbox.

"Why are you dressed as security guards? The janitors and maintenance koopas wear a different set of uniforms."

Red blinked. Lucky for him, he was a master at lying his ass off. "C'mon, you know how bad the economy is nowadays. We figure it'd be best to work in double shifts—half the day patching up the facility, and another half guarding it."

"We just forgot to change out of our shells. It's been a pretty hectic day, y'know," Green added.

"Where's the papers—"

Red dug into his shell and got out the papers issuing their transfer to the station before the guard even had time to finish. He grabbed the order and quickly skimmed over it, making sure that nothing was amiss. The papers seemed legit, so he nodded his head, handed the papers back to Red, and said, "All right. Go on in."

Red nodded and the guard stepped aside, whilst another security koopa unlocked the seven inch thick security gate that kept out any intruders. The trio of ninjakoopas waited until the gate was open all the way before they began to walk inside. An X-ray machine built into the walls scanned all three of them as they headed in, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. At least, there was nothing any of the guards could detect. However, if any of them had bothered to check the toolbox a bit more thoroughly, they would've noticed there were three bombs inside capable of putting a very large dent into an aircraft carrier. As the gate slid shut with a loud clang, the ninjakoopas started walking through the facility. The whole place was full of KP koopas wearing their trademark uniforms or maintenance koopas fixing anything that had been broken, such as the two koopas they witnessed replacing a glass pane. The floor and ceiling were made of bright linoleum tiles and the walls were nothing more than concrete that had also been painted white. It was amazing that the entire place was so clean and hi-tech. As Black began to walk further into the building, he started snickering to himself.

"Oh my God, I can't believer those idiots fell—"

"SSH! Quiet, you idiot! Do you want the whole damn complex to find out what we're doing?" whispered Red.

"Right, right, I'm sorry. Now, tell me what the plan is again?"

"Not here," said Green, as three KP koopa guards walked by.

The ninjakoopa waited until another KP koopa walked out of the bathroom before he gestured to head inside there. He pushed open the door and promptly locked it once it closed before checking all of the stalls, making sure that no one was inside. The coast was clear, and the ninjakoopas were free to discuss their plans of sabotage. Green instructed Black to set down the toolbox before opening it and looking at the large assortment of hammers, wrenches, saws, screwdrivers, and a crowbar. Then he felt around the outside of the box and pushed down on a button concealed into the metal. There was a loud click, and then a small shelf built into the box popped out from the side. Green pulled it out completely and looked down at the contents. The three bombs placed inside were small plastic explosives, but they had ten times as much power than the ordinary C4 bomb did. Trowzer even gave the ninjakoopas a live demonstration of its power, and they watched as just one bomb leveled roughly half a city block. They had three of those bombs now; even if they didn't annihilate the building, it'd be far too damaged to be functional any more.

"Okay, this is where we split up. Red, you take the server room and plant the bomb anywhere you see fit."

"Got it."

"Black, you head over to the boiler room and plant your bomb down there."

"Check."

"I'll be upstairs disabling the security cameras so the alarms aren't raised if the cameras spot us setting the bombs. Afterwards, I'll go into the generator room and place my bomb on the power supply that activates the defenses. Just make sure that neither of you guys makes your move until _after_—not before or during, but _after_ I radio you guys and say the coast is clear. We'll all regroup in the atrium, rush over to the boat, set off the bombs, and watch the fireworks fly."

Black chuckled. "Gotta love blowin' (censored) up!"

"Okay, let's go!" said Red.

The three ninjakoopas grabbed their bombs and radios and went their separate ways.

* * *

Blaze sighed. "We're here."

"Good. Now, how do we get inside?" asked Kooper.

The red Yoshi dug inside a cabinet on the ship and pulled out a yellowish can of spray-paint. He shook the can vigorously before walking over towards Kooper.

"The guards aren't gonna let us into the compound unless we have an escort. And since you're the only koopa here, I'm gonna have to redesign your shell a bit…"

"Hey! What are you—?"

Blaze opened up his can of spray-paint and started to spray a yellowish-gas onto Kooper's shoes.

"The guards won't care who you are as long as you're wearing the same uniform as everyone else," he said as he finished up coloring Kooper's shoes.

"Blaze, the guards won't just let us into a heavily armed compound without a reason."

Blaze scoffed. "You're a star spirit trapped inside a doll; the Mario Bros. are standing right next to you; Kooper's a guard; I'm a Yoshi. Trust me, they're gonna let us in," said Blaze, as he started to spray half of Kooper's shell yellow.

Mario looked over the railing and saw Yoshi's Island, and the warehouse facility stationed on the beach just outside the island's perimeter. The water was becoming shallow; Mario could see the sand underneath the waves.

"We're almost there. Hurry up and change Kooper's appearance before any of the guards on the beach spot us!"

Blaze started to spray the paint on Kooper's red bandanna until it was tan. "You—THAT'S MY BEST BANDANNA!"

The Yoshi huffed. "It's just paint, get over it! If we tip off the guards they'll have no trouble shooting us on sight!"

Kooper sighed exasperatedly and waited until the Yoshi was done re-painting his bandanna. The boat finally docked alongside the planks leading over to the beach. Mario and the gang saw another boat sitting next to the platform as well, which meant the Koopa Bros. were already there.

"Damnit, the Koopa Bros. are already here! How much time would it take to bomb a place like this?" asked Mario.

"Since we're talking about the Koopa Bros., I'd say ten minutes. Then again, for all I know they've been here an entire hour and already set off the timers."

"So we either sit here and wait for the bomb to go off, or rush inside, risk our lives trying to disarm them, and beat the (censored) out of the Koopa Bros.?" said Luigi.

"Yes, in a nutshell, those are our choices."

"Uh, to be frank, I'm kinda okay with just sitting—"

Kooper, Geno, Blaze, and Mario all hopped off the ship and onto the docks. Luigi on the other hand, was still a bit nervous. He had already survived enough close calls since he started this adventure with his brother, and the last thing he wanted was to get blown sky high. Then again, he did have a liking for Yoshis, and he always had fun riding them like horses. …But then again, Luigi wasn't a big fan of his body temperature rising above 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

"You comin' or what?" asked Mario.

Luigi sighed and stepped onto the docks. "Somehow, I get the feeling I'll regret this…"

* * *

Green was grunting as he struggled to render the guard sitting in the chair unconscious. The ninjakoopa found the surveillance room no problem, but there was a guard watching all the monitors, and he knew that the guard would become suspicious if he saw him turn off the security system. So he crept inside the room, got behind the guard, and wrapped his arm around his throat. The guard struggled, but Green knew that if enough force was applied, it would be very easy to render anyone inoperable. And, just as he predicted, the guard stopped fighting him ten seconds later. The ninjakoopa shoved the guard down and began to work on the security system. He sat down in the chair and started clacking away on the keyboard as quickly as possible; he couldn't risk a guard running inside and spotting the subdue KP koopa on the floor. Lucky for Green, he was the smartest of the trio, and it didn't take him long before he had access to the surveillance system.

"Are you guys in position?" asked Green over his radio.

"Yeah, I'm in the air vents looking into the server room now," said Red.

"What about you, Black?"

"Just waitin' outside the boiler room in the corridor. There's a couple guards inside, but I should be able to get past 'em."

"How?"

"Trust me; I know _exactly_ what to do," he said, while grinning.

Green sighed and continued to deactivate the surveillance system. Once he brought up the main control system, it was just a matter of switching off the "On" button. He clicked the "Deactivate All Security Cameras" button and ignored all the "Are You Sure You Want To?" questions. Once he was finished, he looked at all the monitors and smiled. All of them were black or showing nothing but static.

"Okay, you guys are clear."

"Copy," said Red and Black.

While Green was busy hiding the unconscious KP koopa's body in a closet, Red and Black got to work. Red grunted as he shoved himself out of the crawlspace, landing on the floor with a loud clatter. Unfortunately, Red had no idea that there was another guard patrolling inside the server room, nor did he know that the guard had heard him.

"Hey, Davis, that you?"

"(Censored)," muttered Red.

The ninjakoopa began to walk down the linoleum corridor, shielded from the guard by the giant black server on his right side. He crept past a table, making sure he didn't bump into the metal chair that someone didn't push in, and arrived at the end of the room. The guard was just a couple of feet away from him. He jerked his head in Red's direction and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey!"

Red swore again and quickly ran backwards. There was only one thing left to do now: Red's special spinning tornado attack. He knew that the attack would be far more effective if Green and Black and Yellow were with him, but Red was capable of performing the attack on his own. The ninjakoopa hid in his shell and began to spin himself around and around as fast as he could. The guard spotted Red spinning around in his shell and went for his weapon.

"What the fu—"

The guard grunted when Red launched himself right into the guard's solar plexus. His body went flying across the room, and he hit the wall so hard his shell left a small crater in the cement. The guard was still conscious, but barely. Red popped out of his shell, panting, and stood up and rushed over to kick the guard in the face. He went out cold. Red sighed with much relief and took the bomb out of his shell.

"All right, this shouldn't be hard…I just gotta stick this bomb on one of the servers and insert the detonators," muttered Red.

Red slowly walked through the server room and observed all the monitors and CPUs as they beeped and hummed silently. The ninjakoopa was running out of precious time. For all he knew, the guard he just knocked out was supposed to report his status every fifteen minutes. Red sighed and walked over to the server in the center of the room before he slammed the plastic explosive onto the mainframe. As he started to carefully insert the detonators, he pulled out his radio and called Black.

"All right, the bomb's been set. Black, how are things on your end?"

"I'm about to take out the guards now."

"Good. Radio me after the bomb's been set. I'm going to head over to the rendezvous point."

"Roger that."

Black slipped the radio back into his shell and started to walk into the boiler room. He ran into the KP koopas guarding the door, both of whom noticed something foul was in the air and glanced over to see that Black was grinning, and not wearing his shoes.

"What happened to—?"

Black took his shoes out of his shell and promptly shoved them in the guards' noses. They shouted and struggled for a short moment, but Black's foot odor was stronger than most would suspect. The guards were much tougher than Yellow, but after five seconds, they started to become woozy, and eventually slouched down and passed out. The ninjakoopa sighed and slipped his shoes back on before taking out his bomb and waltzing over towards the boiler. The whole area was dimly light and radiating with heat. The boiler itself was massive, black, and about the size of a bus. Black could see all the steam coming out of it and hissing loudly. He looked around the room and started to wonder just where exactly he should place the bomb. Curious, he touched the boiler, and shouted and swore when it scolded his hand with a sharp hiss. Obviously that wasn't the option—putting the bomb on something so hot might caused the bomb to overheat and go off on its own. So Black did the next best thing, and placed the bomb on one of the pipes leading into the boiler. It didn't scald him when he touched it, so he figured it'd be okay. As the ninjakoopa placed the plastic explosive on the pipe, he took out his radio and reported his status.

"Okay, the bomb's in place. It's all up to you now, Green."

* * *

"I'm telling you, this is important! We have to get inside now or else Yoshi's Island will be in danger!" shouted Kooper desperately.

"Look, I don't know what kind of game you're trying to pull here, but this facility is secure, and is off limits to people like you."

"But I'm a security guard! I told you, I was off-duty and then—"

The KP koopa Kooper was talking to snatched his bandanna off and swiped his thumb across it. The tan paint came off instantly, and the guard could see that Kooper's bandanna was really red. Kooper frowned.

"…Um…"

"Sure, security guard."

"Okay, okay, I know how this looks, but we had every reason to deceive you! You wouldn't let us in without—"

"We'll let this prank go unanswered if you turn around, get back in your boat, and sail away. Yoshi's Island is right behind us, and I'm sure you've been waiting quite a while to see your friends again," said the guard, to Blaze.

"NO! Just let us in so we can look around and find the Koopa Bros.! Haven't you seen them already? They wear bandannas over their eyes, they try to act cool, and they're a rip-off version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? All we're asking is that you let us have a look around. We're the friggin' Mario Bros.!" shouted Mario.

Another guard raised an eyebrow and started to speak. "Sir, I think I do remember seeing—"

"All I know is that these gentlemen do not have the proper uniform or clarification that states what they're doing on this facility. And we just caught this koopa trying to sneak in by painting his shell and bandanna. The only reason why I haven't shot any of you is because I'm in a good mood today. …But I can change that."

"Don't any of you care that Yoshi's Island is vulnerable right now? Just let us inside the goddamn building so you don't—"

The KP koopa, clearly fed up with Mario and his team's adamancy, took a shotgun out of his shell and aimed it at Mario's nose. Mario's eyes grew wide and he blinked as he looked up at the guard.

"Walk away."

"I'm cool. I'm cool," said Mario, as he and his team backed away and disappeared around the side of the compound.

Luigi huffed and kicked the wall in frustration. "This 'using guns in a Mario fanfic' is annoying the (censored) out of me."

"Hey, if any of you guys wanna go up against a shotgun, be my guest. Guess we just have to find another way in," said Mario.

"Like through that crawlspace?" asked Geno, pointing to a ventilation shaft behind his back.

Mario and Luigi looked past the doll's shoulder and noticed that someone had opened up a ventilation shaft and left the grate lying in the sand. It was amazing that none of the guards had even noticed the broken grate, let alone that no one was even guarding the area.

"…You can't be serious. There was a crawlspace here this whole time?"

"They, uh, they must've just installed it," lied Blaze.

"Or maybe you wanted those KP koopas to riddle all of us with bullets so you could double-cross us again!"

"NO! No, I'm not lying, I swear! I had no idea about the grate—"

"Hey, guys? Did any of you notice that other boat over here?"

Everyone skimmed the ocean briefly and spotted a small dinghy bobbing up and down in the water beside the beach. It didn't look big, but it could definitely support a couple of koopas—three at the most. Blaze scratched his head.

"Oh, (censored). You think Trowzer—"

"No, there's no way Trowzer's fat ass could fit inside a boat that small, let alone crawl through an air vent. Someone else is here," said Blaze.

"But you said no one knows about this…and there were only—how could—AUGH! FORGET IT! Let's just get inside through the air vent and stop the Koopa Bros. before they blow this place sky high!"

Everyone nodded and rushed over to the air vent, with Mario being the first to hop in.

* * *

"And…done!" shouted Green as he planted his bomb.

The ninjakoopa grinned widely after inserting the detonators into the bomb before he took out his radio and called in Black and Red.

"All right guys, all the peas are in a pod."

"What pod? And I don't remember peeing in anything," said Black, dumbly.

"All the bombs have been set," he said dully. "Let's regroup in the atrium now and figure out an exit strategy before the guards get suspicious."

"Roger that," said Red.

"Wilco," said Black.

Green turned around and began to hastily walk out of the generator room, making sure that he closed the door as silently as possible. As he walked in the hallway, he made sure to keep a smile on his face—not a grin—and to walk fast—not run. There was only one guard who eye-balled him curiously; he remembered what the head of security said about some maintenance koopas coming into the compound and repairing the server room, but not only was Green nowhere near the servers, he was in an area that was restricted to maintenance koopas, and even a couple of low-level guards. The guard waited for Green to get out of his line of sight, and then got on his radio and called for backup. Green turned around and saw the KP koopa look past his shoulder at him, and then slowly turned around to follow him.

"Excuse me, sir," he started.

Green swore out loud and began to sprint down the corridor. The guard followed him, but Green ran just as fast as his late brother did, and he disappeared into another hallway on the left. Green rushed down that corridor as well, shoving two engineers out of his way, before he arrived in the atrium. Panting, Green got onto the stairs and ran down the staircase, hopping over two steps at a time until he reached the ground floor. And then he skidded to a halt when he saw Mario, Luigi, Geno, Blaze, and Kooper walking through the very same room. They had the same reaction as Green when they spotted the koopa in disguise.

"(Censored)," muttered Green.

"Funny. Yellow said that too when he saw us back in Isle Delfino."

Green stood his ground. He couldn't show Mario and his gang that he was nervous.

"You're too late. We've already set our plan in motion. By the time you figure out what it is, it'll be all over,"

"What, you mean your master plan to bomb this facility so Trowzer can send his troops into Yoshi's Island for a ground assault without worrying about any defensive measure?" said Mario.

"…It doesn't matter! I already set the bombs! You have no idea where they are and there's not a chance in hell I'm gonna tell you!"

"You say that now," muttered Blaze, as he approached Green, "but will you be saying the same thing when you find out what it's like to rest inside a Yoshi's stomach?"

"Hey, bro! I got the bomb set. Now all we gotta do is—"

Black saw Mario and his friends cornering Green and quickly skidded to a halt as well.

"(Censored)."

Kooper turned and saw Black and chuckled. "Oh, look: it's the stupid one."

"I'm not stupid! I'm dumb! Get your facts straight!"

Green exhaled and shut his eyes. "Oh, Black…"

"Green, what the hell's going on?" shouted Red as he rushed into the atrium.

"Some of the guards fingered me in the hallway and—(censored)."

"Ah, here's there dim-witted leader now," said Geno.

"What the hell's goin' on? Why are the Mario Bros. here?"

"We're good. You're bad. C'mon, Red, the script's already been written. We're here so we can kick your asses and stop whatever heinous act you're committing," said Luigi.

"No, absolutely not! That asshole already peed on me the last time we met! You're not ruining our chance to impress Trowzer!"

"You guys are getting way in over your heads working for Trowzer. That guy is responsible—"

"FREEZE MOTHER-BITCHES!" shouted a KP koopa guard.

Mario and his gang, along with the Koopa Bros., turned and saw an elite KP koopa standing next to a hyper cleft, holding an assault rifle in his hands. Everyone frowned or dropped their jaws to the floor.

"Stop using guns! This is a Mario fanfic, goddamnit!" whined Luigi.

The guard pulled the trigger, but to his surprise, the rifle simply clicked. He looked at the rifle and pulled the trigger again. Still, nothing happened. The hyper cleft standing next to him shut his eyes and sighed.

"The safety's on," he mumbled.

"…The what?"

The guard looked up ahead again and saw Mario, his gang, and the Koopa Bros. all charging towards him.

"Uh-oh."

Red punched the guard right in his nose, knocking him down. He tried to defend himself, but it was eight against two, and the koopa was lying on his shell. He couldn't defend himself even if he wanted to. The hyper cleft was untouchable; when Luigi was about to stomp on him, the rock monster grinned, and the spikes on his head twinkled. The skinny plumber frowned and backed away immediately so he could join the gang in pummeling the guard into unconsciousness.

"Wait! Stop—OW! GUYS!"

Kooper kicked him twice in the mouth.

"GUYS! It's Doopliss! DOOPLISS!"

"Who?" shouted Blaze.

The gang backed away as they saw the guard disappear behind a cloud of purplish smoke. Once it cleared, it revealed a duplighost who had covered himself behind a large, black sheet.

"See? I just made myself look like one of the guards so we could get inside!" said Doopliss as he began to stand up.

"…Who are you again?"

Doopliss blinked and flatly said, "Freak-In-The-Sheet."

"Ohhhhh, I know you! You're that freak in the sheet!" chuckled Black.

"I just—"

"Ignore him. What the (censored) are you doing here, Doopliss? I thought you work with Bowser now?"

"I can't explain! For the past couple of days I've been going through hell! First, Bowser gave me some assignment to spy on your brother, and the next thing I know, Trowzer's trying to kill me!"

"What?"

"Trowzer is playing you! He doesn't care about you; he doesn't care about anyone but himself!"

"Isn't Bowser exactly like that?" asked Blaze.

"No, he's…" Doopliss sighed. "Trowzer killed Yellow. He killed Iggy. He hired this hyper cleft to assassinate me! Christ, he sent some of his hitkoopas to capture one of Bowser's magikoopas and they ripped off his jaw!"

"Why in the world would he do any of that?" asked Green.

"If you guys are through, we have an ass-kicking to deliver here," said Kooper.

"Because he's trying to control Mushroom Kingdom! Why do you think he sent you here to blow up this facility? This is Phase One of his scheme to take over the world!"

"…What's your play in this?" asked Mario, as he pointed at the hyper cleft.

"Oh. Um, I tried to kill Doopliss, I failed, and he showed me something hideous. I'm just standing here so Doopliss doesn't show it to me again. Also, Trowzer's gonna kill me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a liability now. I went from hitcleft—"

"Can we get on with the ass-kickings?" Kooper interrupted.

"How'd you guys even get here so fast? How the hell did you know what we were doing?" asked Green.

"OH MY GOOOOOOOD, STOP TALKING!" moaned Kooper with frustration.

Doopliss shrugged. "This is a parody of _24_. If we explained how we got here in ten minutes that would nullify the point of this chapter and previous five chapters."

"…This is a parody?" asked Luigi.

"(CENSORED) IT!" screamed Kooper, as he charged towards Red.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" shouted Black.

Everyone looked at the ninjakoopa wearing a black bandanna over his head and frowned. Black was holding the remote detonator for the bombs in his hand, with a demented smile on his face.

"Now…here's what's gonna happen: anyone who isn't wearing a shell—except for you, Kooper—is gonna walk out of this building, or I'm gonna set off the bombs."

"…Black…what are you doing?" asked Green, in fear.

"Just evening the playing field bros!"

"Guys, listen to me: Trowzer is not your friend. He is going to stab you in the back the second you outlive your usefulness. He killed your brother, he had Darrik killed, he tried to kill me, and he had Iggy killed. The guy is responsible for the murder of his half-brother's son! Doesn't that matter to you guys at all?" shouted Doopliss.

"He's right. It doesn't matter what you do for him, or how much you trust him. Sooner or later, Trowzer's gonna kill you," said Geno.

Black scoffed. "I'm supposed to believe what a doll and Freak-In-The-Sheet tell me?"

"Put the detonator down, Black," said Red.

"Relax! I know what I'm doing!"

"That's exactly the damn problem!"

"Black, even you aren't crazy enough to blow this place up while you're still inside," stated Blaze, rather nonchalantly.

Black smirked. "No, but I am _dumb_ enough to blow this place up with me still inside!"

Everyone's eyes grew wide as they watched Black edge his thumb over to the big red button.

"NO!" they all shouted in unison.

Black pushed the button.

_02:58:21…02:58:22…02:58:23…02:58:24…_

* * *

Elsewhere, back at Skipy's apartment, Elark was standing outside of the now deceased koopa's residence, busy securing a rope around a set of pipes that ran into the building. The dark koopa knew that hanging Ludwig outside was risky since dozens of witnesses could be lurking, but he figured it was the best suitable option without making the situation even messier. Ludwig was leaning against the railing, still paralyzed. However, he was definitely getting some of his strength back. He just needed a little more time, and before he knew it, he'd be able to fight back. Elark finished making a perfectly good noose that was secured by the doorknob and was slung over the pipes. He went inside and grabbed the milk crate big enough to support Ludwig, and also big enough for Ludwig to successfully hang himself if he jumped off it. As he was preparing the rope some more, Ludwig began to speak.

"Elark…" he said, hoarsely.

Elark's eyes grew wide. The drugs should've disabled his vocal cords for the duration of at least an hour. And yet, he just said his full name perfectly and clearly, without stuttering even once. Elark had to hurry before Ludwig started to fight off the drugs.

"Elark…"

"Shut up, sir. It'll all be over soon," he said, although he sounded more worried than menacing now.

"You don't…you don't have to do this…"

"Yes, I do, sir. Even if I didn't want to kill you, Trowzer's just gonna off me anyway the minute he realizes I failed him and let someone who could expose him get away."

"But—"

"Just…be quiet, sir."

Elark walked over to Ludwig and grabbed him, preparing to haul his body onto the milk crate. During that time, Ludwig and Elark exchanged a glance. The composer looked as innocent as ever, almost like a puppy. Ludwig only had one chance left. He still liked Elark, and he knew that deep down, the dark koopa didn't want to do this. Maybe he could convince him to try and bring down Trowzer together.

"Please…there's still time to…change. …You know that," he said, straining his voice.

Elark breathed heavily as he stared into Ludwig's eyes. For a brief moment, he actually believed Ludwig and wanted to side with him, wage war against the one koopa who was more black-hearted than Bowser. But as he thought about looking for his source of redemption, he remembered that koopas like him had a tendency to die during such quests. He remembered that it was possible to do something so evil and despicable that no matter how many times you apologized, you could never be forgiven. Even if Elark wanted to defeat Trowzer, chances were, one of Bowser's siblings would take revenge on him the second the dust had settled. He'd be better off siding with Trowzer and leaving the kingdom when things began to heat up. Surely no one would come searching for him in Rogueport or Keelhaul Key.

"It's too late for change, sir," said Elark, glumly.

Ludwig stared at Elark for another second or two, hoping he would change his mind. He didn't. The spiked-shell koopa grabbed Elark's throat and wobbly shoved him against the wall in front of him, choking him as hard as he could. The dark koopa gagged and grunted, trying to shove Ludwig away or remove his hand from around his neck. But Ludwig had a tight grip on Elark, and he wasn't gonna let go, no matter what. It was eerie how Ludwig's expression went from innocent and merciful to demented and angry that quickly. Elark still wasn't even sure how Ludwig's body fought off the toxins so fast. Maybe when Ludwig got angry about finding out he killed his brother, his body produced some chemical Elark didn't even know existed, and it was fighting off the neuroparalyzer. Maybe Ludwig's body had grown used to that type of drug from overuse in the past. Whatever the reason, Elark's plan had backfired horribly, and now he was being choked to death. The dark koopa managed to punch Ludwig in the face, but it still did no good. Ludwig still had a firm grip around his throat. So he did the next best thing and threw himself over, hoping that he'd slip out of his grip. Instead, he wound up dragging Ludwig with him, and both koopas' bodies were hurled towards the stairs. While grunting and groaning, the koopas rolled and clattered their way down the stairs. Ludwig finally let go of the dark koopa, but when they reached the bottom, he was the one who was on top of him. The dark koopa landed on the asphalt with a loud crack, and something in his body snapped—possibly his spine or neck. Elark shouted in pain, but not before Ludwig rolled over and grabbed his throat again. Elark was lying on his shell, his spine or neck was broken, and there was a koopa who weighed several more pounds than he did lying on top of him. Elark couldn't defend himself even if he wanted to. Ludwig grunted and panted as he squeezed Elark's throat, gritting his teeth and staring at him with insanity in his eyes. He was getting his revenge, and quite frankly, it felt good. The dark koopa pathetically tried to grab Ludwig's arm, but he was far too drowsy and weak now. His arm went limp and Elark started to lose consciousness. But Ludwig continued to clutch Elark's throat, even after the dark koopa shut his eyes. He choked Elark for another fifteen seconds before he finally exhaled and began to calm down. Ludwig let go and checked Elark's pulse. There wasn't one.

* * *

"…Hey, we're not dead," said Doopliss.

Green ran over to Black and grabbed him by the throat. "YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!"

"I told you guys already: I have it under control!"

"We set the bombs to go off in 60 seconds when anyone detonated them!"

"That's right! There's no way Mario and his friends will escape before they go off! Not only do we get to blow this place up, but we finally get to defeat the Mario Bros.! It's two girls, one cup baby!"

"No, it's two birds, one stone, and you are forgetting the fact that WE ARE STILL INSIDE THIS BUILDING YOU JACKASS!"

Black frowned. "Ohhhhhhh."

"Wait, so we're inside a building that's gonna blow up in 51—50 seconds, actually, and instead of running for cover, we're…talking?" asked the hyper cleft.

"THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT!" shouted Green, before frowning.

Everyone stood very still for another second or two, utterly speechless, before chaos ensued and the gang started to scream and holler and rushed to the nearest exit. Kooper exclaimed, "BITCH!" and punched Red in the face before hopping over his fallen body, Doopliss and the hyper cleft ran over to the secret crawlspace they used to enter the facility, and the Koopa Bros. started to head over to the fire escape near the front gate. Mario and his gang arrived at a window at the end of the hallway in the atrium, which happened to be over two inches thick.

"KOOPER! HIDE IN YOUR SHELL!" shouted Mario.

"Why?"

Mario didn't answer Kooper. He started to charge towards the koopa, preparing to kick him as hard as possible. Kooper yelped and hid in his shell, just before Mario kicked Kooper, his body flying right through the window and shattering it into several pieces. Mario, Luigi, Geno, and Blaze all hopped out through the windowless frame and grunted as they landed on the beach. Some of the guards were on high alert now, but they didn't care. Getting shot at was the least of their worries now.

"(Censored). What the hell do we do now? By the time we get to our boats the building will go up in flames!" said Geno.

"Won't we be out the blast radius?" asked Luigi.

"That won't matter if we're hit by flaming debris!"

"Uh, um—the bunker! There's a bunker near the facility used for hiding in during natural disasters like tsunamis! Let's get in there until the bomb goes off!" said Blaze, already leading the group towards the underground lair.

Mario, Luigi, Geno, and Kooper followed the red Yoshi without question, knowing they only had thirty seconds or less before the bomb blew up. The bunker was shockingly only a few feet away from the compound, and once Blaze led them down the stairs, he quickly opened up the heavy metal door and led the four others inside.

"C'MON, WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME!" shouted Blaze.

Kooper was the last person to enter the bunker, which turned out to be nothing short of a room with four metal walls and a series of pipes running through the ceiling. There were also vents in the corners of the floor, probably there to provide air if it became too hot. But there was no water, no rations, no food at all. There was absolutely _nothing_ in the bunker, besides the four heroes.

"…Wait, how do the guards eat down here if a tsunami strikes? They don't know how long a disaster will last."

"Yeah, there's no water down here either," muttered Geno.

"Something's not right," said Mario.

"Blaze, what—"

Before Kooper could continue, Blaze shut and locked the door, without heading into the bunker himself. The koopa ran over to the metal door and tried to open it, but it didn't budge. He shouted with frustration and yanked the door handle again. Still, nothing happened.

"Son of a bitch. That son of a bitch double-crossed us again!"

"Damn, Kooper did you just cut one?" asked Luigi, with his nose plugged.

"No, I didn't…"

Kooper flared his nostrils. He smelled it too. Mario coughed a little before he looked over at the vents in the floor and saw a mysterious green gas hissing loudly as it came out of it. Whatever it was, it smelled foul and it was making all four of them dizzy. Everyone began to cough and hack loudly, their vision becoming blurred and their nostrils burning. Luigi collapsed to his knees and started hacking.

"Kooper, open the door!" he shouted.

But no matter how hard he tried, the door wouldn't open.

* * *

Ludwig sighed and rolled off of Elark. He thought he should be happy that he avenged his brother's murder, but for some reason, he wasn't satisfied. He still hadn't found the koopa who was responsible for it all. Along with that hollow, empty feeling that was only partially filled, Ludwig felt extremely tired. He had used the only amount of strength in his body to kill Elark, and not that it had been exerted, he didn't even feel like standing. The neuroparalyzer was still taking effect. Ludwig panted a couple of times and blinked as he became lightheaded. He may have been tired and paralyzed from the waist down, but he wasn't in any danger now that Elark was dead. The composer sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Ludwig was unconscious and lying at the bottom of a staircase with a dead body next to him right out in the open. But at least he was safe.

* * *

"C'mon, c'mon, hurry the (censored) up! The building's about to blow!" shouted the hyper cleft, who made it to the dinghy before Doopliss.

The duplighost panted hastily before shouting as he hopped inside the dinghy. He promptly started the motor and began to sail away from the facility, but when they were about a quarter of a mile away, the bombs detonated, and the compound was destroyed. Dozens of KP koopas were instantly vaporized in the blast. Those who weren't inside the compound or standing too close to the building shouted and swore in confusion as fiery chunks of metal and concrete were launched in all directions. Some of the guards were even killed by the fallen debris. Those who remained decided to shield themselves in their shells and hope that their protection was capable of not getting cracked in half. Some guards had shells as hard as coconuts, while others did not take care of them, and were just as weak as concrete, or glass. It was amazing that anyone survived the initial explosion, but when the debris started to fall, the koopas knew that very few of them were leaving the facility alive.

The Koopa Bros. managed to reach their ship only ten seconds before the bomb went off. Green shouted for Red to gun the boat forward, and he sailed at full speed, not even bothering to look back at the island. Then again, when he heard the thunderous explosion, he just had to glance over his shoulder and grin alongside his brothers when he saw the warehouse go up in flames. Lucky for them, their boat moved exceedingly fast, so not only did they avoid most of the raining debris, but they managed to outrun some of the waves that were coming their way due to the shockwave. As far as they were concerned, their mission had been accomplished. The Koopa Bros. thought it was only fair to stop the boat momentarily so they could cheer and laugh with joy, knowing that Trowzer would be pleased.

Blaze wasn't as successful as the Koopa Bros., but his main plan to double-cross Mario and his gang and trap them inside the bunker had worked. However, since he knew the boat he traveled in wouldn't be fast enough to outrun the blast radius, the red Yoshi ran out onto the dock and dove into the water. When the bomb exploded, he made sure that he was submerged far beneath the ocean. He still had to avoid the falling debris and some of the waves brought about from the blast, but he was a very good swimmer, and he managed to survive the blast.

It was Doopliss and the hyper cleft who were the unlucky ones. Even though they were a good distance away from the building, they were caught up in the waves that developed as a result of the shockwave. Doopliss and the hyper cleft tried to steady themselves in the boat, but it was far too tiny, and they had almost no support. It wasn't until a giant chunk of hot metal landed in the water right next to the boat that they were thrown out. Both of the occupants were sent flying into the air, screaming as they landed in the ocean with a hard splash. Doopliss quickly swam up to the surface, but the hyper cleft was less lucky. Since he had no arms (and was technically a rock) he had no way to swim or float. The assassin managed to let out a gurgled scream before he sank beneath the waves and disappeared in the salty water. Doopliss swore to himself. His only contact that could get him close to Trowzer just drowned, and his plan to stop the Koopa Bros. had failed. Not to mention that he was stranded in the middle of the ocean and his boat had been destroyed by another falling chunk of debris. Doopliss began to swim back towards Yoshi's Island, but a fierce storm was brewing, and he was hit by another strong wave that sent him underwater again. It would only be a matter of time before he drowned or succumbed to hypothermia…

* * *

Mario, Luigi, Kooper, and Geno couldn't breathe any more. All of them (including Geno, somehow) were choking on the noxious fumes. The four of them were on their knees or had fallen to the floor, coughing and wheezing so much that it hurt. Kooper was still trying to yank the door open, but it was no use.

"…Bitch," he muttered, before falling on his face and passing out.

Geno was the second one to fall, followed by Mario and Luigi. Luigi passed out the second he hit the floor, but Mario managed to stay conscious long enough to roll onto his back and stare up at the ceiling. His eyes were watery, his nose and throat were burning, and he couldn't stand the strong odor of the gas. He thought about trying to fight off the fumes, but they were just too noxious for him. As Mario began to shut his eyes, he could've sworn he saw a faint image of Bowser—or Trowzer, perhaps—grinning at him, pleased that he and his gang were stupid enough to fall for Blaze's trap. He had no idea what was going to happen when he and his friends woke up, but something told him that the odds certainly would not tip in their favor.

**02:59:57…02:59:58…02:59:59…03:00:00…**


	33. Stranded

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Ludwig is rescued by a team of paramedics, but he gets the feeling they're not who they seem to be; Doopliss lands on Keelhaul Key after drifting around in the ocean on a chunk of debris for hours; Trowzer lets Bowser's kids take their revenge on Mario and his gang; Blaze outlives his usefulness.

**Stranded**

It was baffling that Doopliss managed to survive the waves that crashed into him after the explosion. It felt like he was being hit by a truck as each one slammed into him, his body being submerged underwater. The waves went on for over five minutes, and just when things began to calm down, it began to rain. Doopliss, not having much energy left, swam to the nearest chunk of wood he could find and hauled his body on top of it. He remained there, clutching the giant debris with dear life as the violent waves carried him out further into sea. The duplighost was stranded, out in the middle of nowhere, no one to help him, and no one to save him. He shivered from the cold and rested his head on the plank, hoping that he would pass out and wake up in a warm, comfy bed.

Hours later, the plank Doopliss was floating on drifted through the ocean until it was just a couple of yards away from Keelhaul Key. All of the bob-ombs and Toads had recovered from the attack that took place a few weeks ago, but now many of them were rebuilding any tents that had been destroyed in the storm.

"Oi! Is that bed ready yet?" asked Pa-Patch.

The Toad who ran the island's inn grunted as he stood up a plank. "No, you still gotta wait a few minutes."

"Well, 'urry up! My back's been achin' all day an' I need to rest!"

"Relax, Pa-Patch. Take your shoes off and walk in…the hell?"

The Toad stepped out of the capsized tent and walked along the sandy beach, glancing at the duplighost lying motionless on the large debris. Pa-Patch and some of his bob-ombs saw Doopliss too.

"What do you think? A bunch of embers capsized his ship too?"

"Nah, Cortez an' his ghouls like us now. Why would they be destroyin' any other ships?"

Before the Toad or anyone else could answer, Doopliss's body slid off the plank and splashed into the ocean. He was about to drown.

"Oh my God!"

The Toad who ran the inn sprinted out towards the dock, dove into the water, and began to swim his way towards the fallen duplighost. He took a deep breath and swam underwater, where he saw Doopliss gradually sinking, edging closer and closer to the bottom of the sea. The Toad grabbed Doopliss's body and quickly swam back to the surface. He gasped for air and coughed up a little water before he started to swim back to the beach, carrying the unconscious Doopliss in one arm and swimming with the other. The Toad finally reached the beach after a minute or two and dragged the duplighost onto the beach. He panted heavily and shook some of the water off his body before staring down at Doopliss.

"Thanks for helping me, guys."

"We're bob-ombs, mate! 'ow do we swim wit' no arms?" asked a bob-omb.

Everyone crowded around Doopliss's body and looked down at him. The other Toad on the island kicked the duplighost's body, wondering if Doopliss would spring back to life. He didn't.

"Oh, uh, I think you gots to do that CPR mumbo-jumbo," said a bob-omb.

"Tob, does it look like any of us know CPR?" said Pa-Patch.

"Well, what else is we supposed to do, just let 'im die?"

"Sure! Just kick 'im back in the ocean, let da fishes eat 'im!" said Pa-Patch with a smug smile.

"We're not kicking—I just saved his ass! Pushing him back into the ocean would be useless now!" said the Toad.

"Then do that CPR junk."

"I don't know CPR." The Toad scratched his head. "Maybe I should kick him again, or something, get the water out his stomach."

Having no CPR training whatsoever, the Toad stomped down on Doopliss's chest. Miraculously, the duplighost opened his eyes and woke up. The first thing he did was vomit up water, which made everyone groan and back away two feet. After Doopliss coughed up the fluids, he gasped loudly and started to pant. Doopliss couldn't remember anything since the explosion—all he could picture was the waves smashing into his body, the salty water filling his mouth and nose. But here he was, safe and sound, surrounded by pirate-looking bob-ombs and a couple of Toads. The duplighost looked all around and blinked.

"Where…where am I?" he asked.

Pa-Patch laughed heartily. "You're on Keelhaul Key, mate!"

"What? …Where are all the Yoshis? Where-Where did…this isn't Yoshi's Island?"

"Whoa, slow down there buddy! Yoshi's Island is about forty clicks that way!" said Pa-Patch, nudging out towards the sea.

"What does that mean?"

"About thirty, forty miles out, probably more than that," said a Toad.

Doopliss huffed. He was exhausted, tired, and longing to rest on a comfortable mattress. But he still had a job to do, and told himself that he had to continue. "I need…who has a boat?"

"Wait a minute, you wanna go _back_ out to sea?"

"You don't understand! Yoshi—" Doopliss hunched over and coughed violently before wiping more water from his mouth. "Yoshi's Island is in danger. Trowzer hired the Koopa Bros. to destroy the facility that sets up the defenses all around the place. Now that it's gone, Yoshi's Island is vulnerable to attack."

Tob raised an eyebrow. "Who the 'ell's Trowzer? Sounds like a tacky pair 'o pants."

Doopliss huffed. "I don't have time to explain! Several Yoshis are in danger right now and I have to get back there and save them!"

"Not to sound crass, but why?"

Doopliss opened his mouth, but even he didn't know the answer. Why _was_ he going out to Yoshi's Island, risking his own life for reasons he didn't even understand? He had a bounty on his head, he was stranded in the middle of nowhere, and he was in league with Bowser, not the Mario Bros. Why should he care if a handful of Yoshis are slaughtered? They reproduce asexually anyway—it would be easy for them to replace the deceased.

"I don't…I-I—"

"Listen, if ya want a boat, you gotta wait fa' some time, mate. Cortez is out sailin' 'round the seas an' won't be back for a while," said another bob-omb.

Doopliss shut his eyes and let out a long breath. "Is there anyway I can get back to civilization?"

"There's a pipe down that way that leads to Rogueport Sewers. Just watch out for the fuzzies and putrid piranhas."

Doopliss slowly nodded his head, turned around, and began to walk away. "Thank you," he said, quietly.

"Oi! Don't ya think you should rest here awhile?" asked Pa-Patch.

"Where you goin'?"

Doopliss ignored all of the Toads and bob-ombs' questions and continued to drag his feet across the sand. But the truth was he had no idea what to do anymore. He couldn't go back to Bowser's castle—he'd be too exposed. He couldn't go to Trowzer's fortress—he'd slit his throat the second he saw him. He had no way of getting back to Yoshi's Island, his only contact who could've helped him put a dent in Trowzer's plans drowned, and he had no idea what happened to the Mario Bros. He was on his own now.

"I don't know anymore…"

* * *

Ludwig groaned and slowly opened his eyes, but he wasn't looking up at the sky anymore, nor was he lying on Elark's dead body. He could hear himself breathing heavily and glanced down to see that there was an oxygen mask attached to his face. There was a defibrillator beside him beeping softly, and the world around him was rocking a little. He could hear an engine humming, and there were two shady koopas wearing white and red shells, standing next to his body and looking at all the equipment. He was in an ambulance, being nursed by paramedics.

"Wh…What—"

"Just relax, sir. We're transporting you to the hospital now."

"I…I don't…"

One of the paramedics inserted a syringe into an unknown bottle of fluids and filled the syringe to its largest dosage. He handed the syringe over to the koopa talking to Ludwig, who depressed the plunger to see if the fluids would squirt out. They did.

"Don't worry, sir. We'll take good care of you."

"I don't…stop…I don't need that."

"We're professionals, sir. You need to lie back down and rest so you can get your strength up."

"Give me your cell—" Ludwig coughed twice. "—cell phone."

Ludwig held out his hand, but the paramedic just raised his eyebrow. "Sir, I can't—"

Ludwig groaned and snatched off his oxygen mask. "Give me your (censored)…cell phone…please."

"Sir—"

Ludwig groaned again and gasped as he abruptly sat up straight, panting so heavily his chest was puffing in and out. "I'm (censored) fine. I don't need any of that. Now, please, give me your cell…"

Ludwig stopped talking. The other paramedic turned around to switch off one of the machines in the back of the vehicle, and something twinkled. Ludwig raised an eyebrow before his eyes grew wide. There was a gun or sword hidden in the paramedic's shells. Ludwig didn't care whether or not these koopas were with Bowser or Trowzer—they obviously were _not_ paramedics and wherever he was going couldn't be good. Ludwig turned and looked at the paramedic with the syringe in his hand.

"Sir, lie down—"

Ludwig grabbed the paramedic's hand and shouted. They grunted for a couple of seconds, but after the struggle, the paramedic groaned when Ludwig stabbed him in the chest. The needle was so sharp that it actually penetrated his shell. Before the paramedic could remove the syringe, Ludwig depressed the plunger and injected him with the mysterious fluids. The paramedic let out a tiny squeal before he fell backwards and collapsed onto the floor of the ambulance. He shouted and gurgled as he began to convulse, going into a full-blown seizure. Ludwig glanced down at the convulsing shady koopa as foam came out of his mouth and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. It was clear that these koopas were trying to kill him as well and just failed again. Ludwig grunted and leaned over, reaching into the koopa's shell for his gun. The other paramedic turned around and gasped.

"What the hell?"

Ludwig grunted again and lazily waved his gun at the other paramedic. He fired, but didn't kill the shady reptile; he simply grazed him in the face. The paramedic shouted and fell down, and the driver swore and stopped the vehicle. Ludwig, still groggy, jerked around and fired through the seats multiple times, hitting both the driver and passenger. Ludwig waited until he saw blood dripping down from the seats before he exhaled and stood up. The koopaling dragged his feet over towards the subdued koopa and panted as he aimed the pistol at him.

"You…you're gonna tell me…what is going on. Now," he panted.

"(Censored) you!"

Ludwig huffed and wheezed several times before he waved the gun in the wounded shady koopa's face. "I won't…ask again."

"I don't give a (censored) what you do to me. I'm not saying a damn thing!"

"Then you'll…" Ludwig wheezed twice, clutched his chest, and groaned as he collapsed to the floor again. The wounded paramedic swore again and quickly got to his feet, panting heavily as he stared at the felled Ludwig von Koopa. He took out his gun and pointed it at him, but as he cocked it, a thought occurred to him. The paramedic knew Trowzer was a wild card—one minute he'd ask for someone to be killed, and the next he'd change his mind, request that his target is merely roughed up and delivered to him so he can kill the target himself. He really wanted to kill the koopaling, make things easier on himself, but he knew how Trowzer was. Better to reconfirm his orders before carrying them out. The shady koopa sighed, got out his cell phone, dialed Trowzer's number, and waited for him to answer.

"Hello?"

The paramedic huffed. "It's me…ow…Ludwig—"

"The next words that are coming out of your mouth better be 'is' and 'dead.'"

The paramedic shut his eyes and waited, unsure of whether or not he should lie or tell the truth. Of course, he knew what Trowzer did to liars, especially those who lied about something this imperative. The shady koopa sighed.

"Well…"

"I am surrounded by (censored) idiots! I ask you to do one thing—one simply, measly task—and you're incapable of doing it!"

"There-There were complications, Trowzer! Ludwig fought off the drug Elark gave him—that's how he wound up dead in the first place! We picked him up, but he woke up before we could give him the poison and…long story short, he killed three of my guys."

"I only sent four of you!"

"I know, Trowzer. There's no one else here but me."

"You just told me the target isn't gone yet."

"That's why I'm calling. I just wanted to make sure—"

"Of course I still want you to take care of him!"

"I-I just wanted to double-check."

"Do not call me again until—you know what? After you hang up, break your cell phone."

"Why?"

"I don't want the target calling for help in case things go sideways. And swallow the car keys."

The paramedic sighed. "Are you (censored) serious?"

"I'll send someone to pick you up later," said Trowzer, before shutting his cell phone.

"Trowz…" The shady koopa looked at his cell phone after hearing the infamous dial tone and muttered to himself as he hung up. He looked down at the phone and hesitated, but afterwards, snapped the phone in half and threw it on the floor. Then he walked over towards the front of the van (ignoring the two corpses in both seats) and stopped the engine so he could retrieve the keys. Again, he hesitated, but Trowzer was the smart one after all, so he knew that this idea couldn't be asinine. The paramedic sighed, closed his eyes, and stuffed the keys into his mouth, tilting his head back so he could swallow them in one big gulp. Swallowing the keys wasn't the hard part. Keeping them down was. As the paramedic crawled back into the rear compartment of the ambulance, he retched twice and even felt the keys coming back up the esophagus, ready to spew from his mouth. But he inhaled sharply and tilted his head back again, as well as drank from a water bottle to help the keys descend down his gullet and stay down. The shady koopa heard his stomach grumble and sighed exasperatedly.

"God, I hope that doesn't hurt when it comes out…"

The paramedic exhaled and approached an unconscious Ludwig before rubbing the wound on his cheek and spitting out a tooth. The bullet must've ricocheted off one of them or chipped it as well. He aimed the gun at the koopaling's head, ready to fire. And then Ludwig rolled over, still carrying the other thug's pistol, and shot him in the head. The shady koopa went down instantly as blood was sprayed all over the ambulance. Ludwig exhaled and dropped the gun and forced himself to stand up, determined to get back to his father's castle so he could warn him and the rest of his brothers and sister. Ludwig looked down beside the paramedic he just shot and exhaled, realizing his phone was inoperable. Then he searched the paramedic he previously injected with poison to see if he had a cell phone. His shell was empty. Ludwig dragged his feet across the ambulance and searched the driver and passenger's shells too. Empty. Only one person had a cell phone in the van, and it was broken. Ludwig still had hope though.

"Maybe…maybe I can drive—"

And then his hopes were crushed when he noticed the car keys were missing. Ludwig heard the shady koopa he just shot retching a minute ago, but he didn't know why, and he didn't see him ingest the keys. Whatever happened to them, it became apparent that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, not unless he traveled by foot.

"Okay…just relax, Ludwig. You can figure this out."

The koopaling knew that sitting in a van full of four dead koopas would accomplish nothing, so he panted as he walked towards the back door and opened it up. The second the door swung open, Ludwig was bombarded by snow and freezing wind whistling through his ears. His eyes grew wide. Ludwig was nowhere near Bowser's castle. He was stuck in some frozen wasteland where it snowed 24/7. To make matters worse, it was dark outside—Ludwig had been asleep for hours now. He could be anywhere in the Mushroom Kingdom by now.

"Oh my God…"

Ludwig shut the door and exhaled before swearing and slamming his fist into the wall. Clearly he had underestimated his half-uncle by a mile. Had Trowzer known from the start that Elark would fail him? Had Trowzer known to post other agents posing as paramedics beside Skipy's house for the sole purpose of this happening? Had Trowzer known that the paramedics would fail too, and to instruct the lead shady koopa to break his cell phone and swallow the keys? It was like the oversized koopa knew _everything_ and had additionally made a backup plan just in case Plan A didn't work out. Or, for that matter, Plan B and Plan C and Plan D…

"Okay, Ludwig, you got two options: you can either sit in an ambulance full of warmth and four dead bodies and wait for more of Trowzer's goons to come by and kill you, or you can take your chances, go outside in the blistering cold, and pray your feet will drag you to a place that hasn't been inhabited by his men. …Goddamnit."

Ludwig slammed his head against the door. Either option would most certainly result in death. On one hand, he could sit in the ambulance (which was far warmer than it was outside), take a long, nice nap, have a pleasant dream, and then wake up to see his evil half-uncle grinning as he disemboweled him with a scalpel. On the other hand, he could go outside, endure frostbite, lose many of his fingers and toes, get attacked by frost piranhas and ice puffs, and then die alone in the cold as he collapses in the snow as his skin and organs freeze. Ludwig would much prefer the first option. The only problem was that he would die, Trowzer would get what he wanted, and no one in his family would be safe. At least with the latter option, Ludwig had the chance of reaching a town—a city even—that was full of people and creatures that carried cell phones. Even if he died in the process, it would be worth it as long as he managed to warn his family first. Ludwig sighed heavily, kicked open the door, and jumped outside. He shivered once his soles made contact with the snow and looked up at the night sky. There wasn't a blizzard, thank God, but it was snowing quite hard, and the wind blowing against his face was freezing. The koopaling turned around and looked at the ambulance. He was reconsidering his decision already, longing to stay inside the warm van. He couldn't do it. Ludwig sighed, turned around, and started to walk through the snowy wasteland.

Sometimes even smart people do things others would consider to be downright stupid. This was one of those times.

* * *

"Do not call me again until—you know what? After you hang up, break your cell phone."

"Why?"

"I don't want the target calling for help in case things go sideways. And swallow the car keys."

The paramedic sighed. "Are you (censored) serious?"

"I'll send someone to pick you up later."

Trowzer slammed his cell phone shut and sighed heavily. "(Censored) idiots."

"Now you know what I have to deal with everyday," said Bowser, with a slight smirk on his face.

Trowzer was currently in Bowser's castle talking to his younger brother and explaining how he captured Mario and his gang.

"So, tell me, just how did you capture _my_ arch nemesis?"

Trowzer grinned. "Simple. I asked Wario and Roy to assist me in creating a powerful, poisonous gas. Since Roy hasn't been showering for quite some time, and Wario is well-known for his noxious flatulence, it was very easy to make. I had one of my agents lure Mario and his gang into a bunker, and then he promptly filled the bunker with the gas I created from Roy and Wario's fumes. They passed out rather quickly, and afterwards, we came in wearing gasmasks and hauled them to my dungeon."

The entire time, Bowser had a scowl on his face. He couldn't help but growl gutturally at Trowzer, which made him grin.

"What's the matter, Bowser? Jealous?"

Bowser folded his arms. "I've spent years, Trowzer, trying to get Princess Peach to fall in love with me, trying to get rid of Mario, trying to rule this kingdom, and you…you manage to do all of it in a matter of weeks."

"That's not true. I still haven't dominated the world."

"But at the rate you're going, you just need a few more weeks for that to happen."

"Well…hehe, yeah."

Bowser growled again. "That was _not_ a compliment."

Trowzer huffed. "Look, you and I are not gonna be friends. We tried—it's never worked out. But I just gave you Mario and his friends on a silver platter for _you_, Bowser, so _you_ and _your family_ could take revenge on him. If I wanted to, I could've killed him and his whole team the second I found 'em, but I didn't. You wanna know why? Because I thought to myself, 'You know, I've been an asshole to my brother, so maybe I should throw the dog a big ass bone, make him happy for now because he deserves it.' And that's exactly what I did, Bowser."

The spiky-shelled koopa stared at his older half-brother for a brief moment, breathing heavily and growling with his arms still folded. He tightened his jaw, trying to find the right words to say.

"…Thank you," he said, so tightly he almost croaked.

Trowzer lifted an eyebrow and grinned. "I'll bet that hurt to say."

"As much as…it hurts me to say it—I mean that; this is physically hurting me—you did…um, get Mario…and you handed him to us. So I th—" Bowser stopped himself. He couldn't say "thank you" to Trowzer twice. Not without vomiting.

"You what?"

Bowser huffed. "I'm _happy_ that you helped me." He had his teeth gritted as he said that.

"Now was that so hard?"

"I need an aspirin."

* * *

When Mario woke up, he was woozy and having trouble seeing straight. His arms were dead, and he noticed he was suspended in mid-air, like a chain or rope was holding him up. The plumber looked up at the ceiling and groaned. There was a chandelier and a bunch of candles burning bright blue flames on the wall. Cobwebs were in the corners of the ceiling, a tiny spider was skittering across the tiled floor, and there was dust all over the place. He was in a dungeon of some sorts, probably Bowser's.

"Ergh…my head…Luigi? Hey, Luigi?"

The skinny plumber snorted as he jolted awake. "What, what? We ain't dead yet?"

Luigi looked up at his hands. They were chained to the wall. So were Mario's.

"What the hell?"

"Kooper, Geno, where are you guys?"

"I'm right here, Mario. I'm fine," said Geno.

Kooper groaned and opened his eyes. The room was upside-down for some odd reason. Unlike Geno, Mario, and Luigi, Kooper was chained up to the wall upside-down.

"Uh, why is the floor above me?"

"That's not the main problem here. We're chained to the wall, Kooper."

"No (censored)! Mario, where's the key?"

"What key?"

"There's always some tacky key lying around we have to use to unlock the doors. Maybe we can do the same thing for these chains tied around our wrists."

"But we can't move, Luigi. How are we supposed to get any key if we're stuck to the wall?"

"Aw, what the hell? How come I'm the only one here who's upside-down? All the blood's rushin' to my head—this is gonna give me a serious headache! This is bull(censored) man!"

"Stop shouting, Kooper," said Geno.

"Where the hell's Blaze? I (censored) swear, that backstabbing bastard's gonna get it! Just give me five minutes with him and I'll…I'll…"

"You're chained to the wall. What can you possibly do?" asked Luigi.

"I'LL BITE HIM IN THE ASS!"

Everyone looked to their right and stared at Kooper. "Are you serious?"

"My mouth's low enough! All he has to do is just back up slowly and I can rip him a new one!"

"Yes, ass-biting. That'll help. Maybe you should rim him while you're down there too."

"What does that mean?"

"Rimming is when you—"

"Geno, don't explain," said Mario.

"Why not? Seriously, guys, what's rimming?"

Before Geno or anyone else could answer, the door leading into the dungeon's torture chamber opened up, revealing a burly, large koopa wearing a spiky blue shell, and a red Yoshi with a smug grin on his face. It was Blaze and Trowzer. Kooper snarled and started to shake around along the wall, even though he was still chained to it.

"YOU BACKSTABBING SON OF A BITCH!"

"Yeah, I hate you too," said Blaze.

Trowzer approached Mario with a grin on his face and chuckled. Mario looked like he was about to spit in his face. "So this is famous plumber Mario."

"So this is the scumbag Trowzer."

"Scumbag is a bit of a notorious overstatement. I like to think of myself as a chess player who can predict all of my opponents' moves."

"You're not gonna get away with this!"

Trowzer turned to glance at Luigi and scoffed. "You must be Luigi. I see you're not playing housekeeper anymore. That's unfortunate for you."

"(Censored) you!"

Trowzer backed away from the prisoners and smiled. "You did a fine job, Blaze. Everything's finally starting to go as planned."

"Yeah! These losers didn't know what hit 'em!" said Blaze, while chuckling.

"Of course, if you had just killed them back in Isle Delfino like I told you…"

The Yoshi was still chuckling when he heard Trowzer talk. "What?"

Trowzer turned and stared at him, looking like the red Yoshi just smashed a pie in his face. "I told you to kill them in that hotel. By not doing so, you could've severely compromised the Koopa Bros.'s plan at the facility."

Trowzer began to approach Blaze. He chuckled nervously and backed away. "That-That-That never happened."

"So, what, after you killed these four men here," Trowzer pointed at the four heroes. "Someone broke into your apartment and gave them Life Shrooms?"

"Yeah, that's right!"

"So if I asked them what happened…" Trowzer flicked his eyes at Mario and his gang.

"He's lying."

"He's making it up!"

"That didn't happen."

"We kicked his ass and made him tell us what your master plan was."

Trowzer smiled widely when he heard Kooper's response, which made Blaze gulp.

"So on top of failing me, now you're lying."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute! You told me that-that I should've led Mario and his crew into that bunker you filled with gas in case my plans at killing them backfired!"

"That's exactly the problem, Blaze. You're plan backfired. The fact that I'm sitting here looking at these valiant creatures is just proof that you aren't capable of doing what you're told."

"But I'm the one who captured the infamous Mario!"

Trowzer scoffed. "You don't get it. You wouldn't have _had_ to capture them if you had just killed them in the first place. Because of you, you've complicated things for me. I can't trust you with dire missions anymore."

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, Trowzer. We-We-We can still do good! I can still work for you! I never offended you or betrayed you—I'd never do that!"

Luigi and Kooper chuckled. "You're gonna get your ass kicked!" said Kooper, in a mocking tone.

Trowzer took a knife out of his shell. Everyone frowned. "Dude. That's a big knife."

"Oh, (censored)! Trowzer—"

"Don't take it hard, Blaze. I can't risk having you fail me again. I'm sorry, Blaze. You're of no use to me anymore."

"Trowzer, PLEASE! You don't have to—"

Trowzer wasted no time plunging the blade deep into Blaze's neck. The Yoshi's eyes grew wide and he groaned as blood began to spew out of his mouth. The giant koopa grinned when he saw the Yoshi cough and groan as ounces of blood gushed out of his mouth and throat. All of the heroes' eyes grew wide, their mouths agape.

"OH, (CENSORED)!" they all shouted.

Trowzer removed his knife and kicked Blaze down. He watched with satisfaction as the Yoshi tried to stop the blood flow, but his attempts were futile. After gagging and coughing and convulsing for ten seconds, Blaze slowed his movements and lay very still. Then he let out a short, gurgled noise and closed his eyes. He was dead. Trowzer smirked and put the knife back into his shell before walking back over towards Mario and his gang.

"What just happened?" asked Luigi.

"I murdered someone."

"How can you be so cruel and nonchalant at the same time? You just killed one of your own people just because he messed up on an assignment _once_?"

Trowzer walked over towards Kooper and crouched down so he was staring at him in the eyes. Of course, the koopa's vision was inverted.

"You make it sound like I had no reason to do it. Like my brother, I don't tolerate failure. It's just…the penalty for failure is much more serious in my case."

Kooper groaned. "The only thing more serious than your intolerance for failure is your breath."

Trowzer grinned and patted Kooper on the cheek twice. "The smell of my breath is the least of your worries right now."

"Not from where I'm standing."

Trowzer ignored him again and stood back up, pacing back and forth in front of the prisoners. "I've been thinking long and hard about you heroes, about how you're going to help me conquer this kingdom."

"There's no way in hell any of us would even spit in your direction. I'd rather side with Bowser again than serve under you," said Mario.

"Heh, well, like it or not, you four _will_ help me."

"I said what needs to be said. Obviously, you're not gonna kill us—you would've done that back in the bunker. And I don't know how yet, but we _will_ get out of here. And we _will_ stop you."

Trowzer just smiled and continued to pace back and forth. "Just why do you think I've kept you alive, hmm? Why do you think I kept Blaze alive? He was valuable to me. But in the process of using him, he broke. I tried to fix him, but I told myself that I'd be better off getting a new one, so I disposed of him."

"Are you even listening to yourself right now? You're talking about Blaze like he was a thing—a common object. He was a Yoshi, a living creature, not some watch you bought at the store and destroyed once it stopped ticking. How could you possibly compare people to inanimate objects?" asked Geno.

Trowzer shrugged. "People are objects. You choose which ones you want, you choose how long you want to use them, and once you're done, you dispose of them. Sometimes, people break—like Blaze did here—and you have to get rid of them as soon as you can, replace them with someone even better. Then the whole cycle starts all over again."

"That's doesn't…we're not…ARGH! I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU!" shouted Luigi.

"I'm a complex individual."

"So…let me get this straight: you haven't killed us because you're gonna use us?"

Trowzer nodded his head. "That's right, Kooper. But once you're useless, I see no trouble in killing any of you."

"But we already told you we're not going to help you!" said Luigi.

Trowzer chuckled. "Yes, you are."

"We just clearly told you we never will! How do your plans even remotely incorporate us?"

Trowzer scratched his chin. "Okay, you're right. I should continue talking, boasting about how I'm such a badass, about how you're gonna die a horrible, miserable death, and in the heat of the moment, confess my dastardly deeds so you escape and live long enough to inform everyone and compromise everything."

"…Do I detect sarcasm?"

"Yes, Kooper, why in the world would I not be not sarcastic?" said Trowzer, sarcastically.

Kooper tried to decipher the evil koopa's words, but in the end, he just made himself confused. Trowzer smiled and began to walk towards the exit door.

"Where ya goin'?" asked Luigi.

"Try not to die, please. I still need all of you."

"What does that—HEY! Don't you walk away from us!"

Trowzer opened the door, where he was greeted by Wario in his biker outfit and Roy, who couldn't stop grinning.

"Don't kill them," he said, before walking past them.

Roy and Wario entered the torture chamber with long, wide grins on their faces and shut the door with a loud clang. The heroes' eyes grew wide upon finding out who their two torturers would be: a flatulent, fat man, and a smelly, pissed-off koopaling who was strongest one out of the bunch. Roy made a fist and started to punch the palm of his other hand over and over.

"Hello, Brother Killers."

Mario started to pant. "This is gonna hurt…"


	34. Blondie to the Rescue

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Trowzer's plan to invade Yoshi's Island commences, Roy and Wario begin to torture Mario and the gang, and Peach finally decides to take action.

**Blondie to the Rescue**

One of Kirzvolitken's chief lieutenants was busy reloading his weapons on board the small ship sitting near the docks of Yoshi's Island. The shady shell koopas were all wearing dark blue shells with green bandannas tied around their scalps. All of them were professional and knew how to handle the situation. As far as the lieutenant knew, he and all of his subordinates were gonna storm the island, kill anyone in sight, find the leader and force him to surrender the island in Trowzer's name. The Mario Bros. had been captured. Doopliss was nowhere to be found. And Bowser's family wasn't even aware of Trowzer's evil plans. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

"Run the plan down for us, Marcus."

"We storm the island, kidnap the leader, force him to surrender this island to Trowzer, and kill anyone who resists. How hard is that?"

The lieutenant blinked. "Just checking to make sure all of you were listening. What about you, Dracolin?"

The yellow dragon landed on the island next to the lieutenant's ship and chuckled. "I'm a dragon! I'm gonna fly around and set the place on fire—what else do I have to do?"

"Try not to break wind near us. I know part of your colon is missing, but I prefer if you didn't pull any of your toilet humor jokes today."

The yellow dragon grinned and started to flap his wings. "No promises!"

The lieutenant sighed heavily as the dragon disappeared in the sky before he and the rest of the shady koopas got off the boat and started to walk down the shore. They acted casual and hid most of their guns in their shells. As if on cue, a preppy, brown Yoshi appeared and greeted the hostile koopas.

"Welcome to Yoshi's Island!"

The lieutenant casually blinked before he pulled a giant shotgun out of his shell and pointed it at the greeter's big nose. Several of his officers did the same thing, and one even went as far as pointing a rocket launcher at the Yoshi. The brown Yoshi frowned and whimpered before he suddenly laid a very large egg twice the size of his head.

* * *

Roy grunted as he punched Mario across the jaw. The plumber panted a couple of times before he spat blood out on the floor. His whole head was throbbing now, his left eye was black, and he was bruised all over. The plumber really wished a nice, fat mushroom—or ultra shroom—would just fall from the ceiling. He glanced all around the room, but what could he possibly do? There was no gap in the floor and the only door in or out of the room was locked, and it was quite obvious that Roy or Wario had the key. Unless Mario or the others broke their chains, there was no way they could get free. Mario sighed heavily just before Roy punched him three more times in the stomach. The brute koopaling scoffed before he started to pace back and forth in front of the Mario Bros., determined to enjoy their suffering.

"All these years, all this time and all it took to finally trounce you _boys_ was noxious gas."

Roy kicked Luigi in the stomach, making the skinny plumber coughed twice. "Wow, I didn't even know you knew what 'noxious' meant. To be fair…the gas came out your ass and Wario's. Of course we're gonna pass out."

Kooper groaned when Wario kicked him in the throat. He pressed his shoe down on the reptile's neck and started to choke him, causing the koopa to gasp and gag as he desperately tried to take in air. Roy decided to divert his anger towards the doll and punched Geno in the face twice, wincing a little from hurting his knuckles.

"(CENSORED)! You're a goddamn rag doll—I should be able to punch holes through you!"

"Are you even gonna try—"

Roy punched Geno again, shutting him up in mid-sentence. Wario finally took his foot away from Kooper's neck and grinned when he saw the koopa coughing much harder than normal. The chubby bike rider laughed and folded his arms.

"You think Roy's pissed? Hmph! You guys better be lucky Bowser isn't down, let alone Trowzer."

Kooper let out a groggy groan. "Why? He'd rip us a new asshole as big as yours?"

"The last thing _anyone_ in this room should do is make fun of my ass."

"Or what? You'll—"

"SHUT UP, KOOPER!" shouted Luigi.

"Kooper, I know you don't think it's possible, but believe me when I tell you that an ass can be a vicious and stinky weapon," said Mario.

Wario chuckled heartily and patted his fat gut. "Relax, Kooper! I'm not gonna fart on you."

"You're not?"

Wario grinned even wider and took his custom motorcycle out of his pants and sat down on it. Kooper's eyes grew wide.

"WHAT THE (CENSORED)? DID YOU JUST PULL A MOTORCYCLE OUT OF YOUR ASS?"

Wario revved the engine and gunned it forward, slamming into the koopa with full speed. Kooper didn't even have time to shout; the pain was so intense that he immediately passed out. The bike clattered on the floor afterwards, but Wario left it just in case Roy decided to use it against the Mario Bros.

"It's a shame Iggy didn't die sooner," muttered Roy.

"What does that mean?"

Roy started to pull a bat out of his shell. Luigi sighed and rolled his eyes.

"God, it's like you guys keep everything shoved up your asses or shells! Why don't you pull out a jet engine while you're at it?"

Luigi wailed when Roy smashed his baseball bat against Luigi's knee. Mario wasn't certain, but he was pretty sure that his kneecap had been shattered. Knowing that the skinny plumber would spend the next five or ten minutes whimpering and screaming, Roy thrust his knuckles deep into Luigi's stomach, hurting his solar plexus. Luigi let out a gurgled groan before he quietly gagged and suddenly went quiet.

"You see, Iggy didn't die slow, Mario. He spent a very, very long time in the hospital suffering from his wounds. So we're gonna stand here and torture your asses as slowly as possible, so you can feel the _exact_ same pain my brother felt."

Roy grunted as he slowly moved the baseball bat behind his back. He started to sparkle and glow, indicating he was ready to smack Mario's head clean off. Mario knew Roy wasn't trying to kill them, but just one of these swings could instantly kill someone on the Brawl stages. Even if he did survive the koopaling's swing, he wouldn't last much longer. He only had one other option.

"What if we told you that we didn't kill Iggy?"

Roy eased his grip on the bat and stopped glowing. He just shook his head and chuckled to himself.

"You really are pathetic. At least have the dignity to take your beating like the _boys_ you are."

"Have you talked to the Koopa Bros. lately? Huh? What about, uh, Doopliss?"

"The Koopa Bros. are working with my uncle now. And who the hell's Doopliss?"

"The duplighost!"

"What the hell's a duplighost?"

"Oh my God—forget it; I'll just tell you. Your uncle is behind everything, Roy! The-the deaths of Yellow and Iggy, the bombing of Yoshi's Island's defense station—OW!"

Mario shouted when Roy smacked him against the head with a baseball bat.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! My uncle loves us koopalings like we were his own family!"

Wario blinked. "You are his family."

"Shut up, Farty."

"Think about it, Roy. Why in the world would we garrote one of the Koopa Bros.?" asked Geno.

"What the hell does garrote mean?"

Geno sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "Your half-uncle is playing both sides against each other. He's using you guys to get to us. He had Iggy killed because he knew that you'd think it was us, because you'd spend all your time hell-bent on catching us! Once we're dead, Roy, Trowzer's gonna stab all of you in the back, and he's gonna take over this kingdom—maybe this entire planet—when we're all out of the way."

"C'mon guys! Even you have to agree that something stinks here! Just…just talk to Trowzer, ask him a few questions. I guarantee you he will lie his ass off."

Roy and Wario grinned widely and glanced at each other. They started to chuckle evilly as they backed away from the prisoners hanging on the wall.

"I think they're right, Wario. Something _does_ stink."

Geno and Luigi glanced at Mario angrily. "_Very_ good choice of words…bro."

"How's about we show them how stinky this situation can really be?"

The three heroes started to pant with worry, watching as Roy and Wario turned around and bent over, their asses pointed right at their faces. Kooper sniffled and shook his head as he suddenly recovered from his wound and slowly opened his eyes. His entire body was sore from the bike attack, but for the most part, none of his bones were broken. He looked up ahead and gasped as he saw Roy glow light green, and saw Wario glowing a brownish color.

"WHAT THE FU—"

Roy and Wario promptly released a fart so deadly and foul that the whole chamber began to rumble and stink. The four heroes could do nothing but scream as they suffocated on the foul, unbearable gases.

* * *

Bowser was in Peach's room, pacing back and forth and muttering and swearing to himself while Peach just sat idly on her bed, wondering when the behemoth would leave so she could sneak out. Twink was hiding beside the bed, surprised that Bowser still hadn't noticed part of him was sticking out given his size.

"Everytime—every goddamn time I do something, he always finds a way to make it better! I make a bob-omb, he makes a nuke. I steal from a gas station, he steals from a bank. I breathe fire, he breathes _and farts_ fire! I make a tuna sandwich, he makes ham!"

"What does ham have to do with tuna?" asked Peach.

"Ham is _always_ better than tuna!"

Peach blinked, but after pondering for a moment, nodded. "You're so right."

"And now, he caught my arch nemesis! Out of all the (censored) I've done, all the minions—"

"WAIT! …That guy captured Mario?"

"YES!"

From that point on, Peach didn't tune in to Bowser's rambling. All she could think about was Mario, and what horrible things Trowzer was doing to him. Sure, she was a prisoner too, but she was in her own, comfortable room. Mario was probably sitting or chained up in some dank cell, being physically abused by God knows how many guards. He may already be dead. As Bowser continued to pace back and forth, Peach glanced over at the painting hanging over the fireplace. Miraculously, no one had bothered to remove the secret entrance in her room. She had to use it and escape her room, find a way to help Mario. She just had to hope no one was in the other room on the other side of the tunnel. But first, she had to wait until Bowser left. This wouldn't be like last time, where she was just sending small items to the plumber. Somehow, she was gonna have to come to _his_ rescue.

"Where is Mario, Bowser?"

"And when we arm-wrestled, he…hmph! And just why would I tell you that?"

"Because you're an imbecile."

"That is not the point! The one good thing about this whole situation is that Roy and Wario are beating the snot out of your beloved plumber. And once he's out of the way, I can have you all to myself."

Bowser moved deathly close to Peach and growled as he looked down at her with a grin on his face.

"I always did wonder what you looked like without your dress on."

"So you…want me to get naked?"

"No, ew! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Peach sighed. "Oh thank God."

"That does not mean I don't wanna sleep with you. You know, us lying in bed, cuddling—"

"I'm gonna have to stop you right-right there…unless you want me to puke."

Bowser laughed. "Now do you see why I won't tell you that Mario's hold up in my secret underground chamber my asshole of a half-brother is using? I adore you, Princess. And like it or not, you're gonna live with me forever and ever and ever…and _ever_."

Peach didn't know whether or not to smile or curl up in a ball with fear. Bowser was acting a bit more dominant than usual, but he was still extremely stupid, and just gave Peach the answer she was looking for. So she just stared at Bowser's wicked smile until he chuckled again and started to back away.

"You have a nice night, Princess."

Bowser opened up Peach's door and left her room, making sure two koopatrol guards were standing beside the door. Even to this day, he still never bothered to just lock it down. Peach sighed once Bowser left and Twink came out of his hiding spot.

"You think he was telling the truth?"

"Only Bowser is dumb enough to tell me something like that without telling me. C'mon, let's get out of here before it's too late."

"Yeah. I'm eager to see that smug wiped off the face of the koopa who raped you."

Peach walked over towards the painting beside the fireplace and peeled it off. "Oh yeah, that. He didn't rape me."

"Uh…what?"

"He never raped me. I was hiding under the bed this whole time."

"That's impossible—I was hiding outside when he did it. I glanced through the window—"

"That wasn't me though."

"Then who was it?"

"This koopatrol with a foot fetish."

Twink was utterly confused. "That makes no sense!"

"Oh right, I never told you. This random koopatrol walked into my room and knew about my Sneaky Parasol—the umbrella I won at that trivia game that lets me duplicate someone's appearance—and he wanted to use it on himself. He told me he knew that Bowser always made me rub his feet and since I don't ever, ever, _ever_ want to touch them again, offered to switch places with me so he could do it. Then after he left, he'd turn back into his original form and leave."

"So, when Trowzer raped 'you,' he was really raping—"

"—some random koopatrol with a foot fetish? Yes."

"But wouldn't he have notice—"

"Twink, I really do not want to relive the events I _heard_ that day. All you need to know is that he didn't rape me."

"Wow…talk about a gigantic finger to the readers."

"What?"

"You had all the devoted Peach fans who bothered to read this story sick with worry, trying to figure out how you'd cope with being raped by some demon like Trowzer. And now, fifteen—"

"Sixteen."

"_Sixteen_ chapters later, you basically tell everyone, 'oh yeah, that wasn't me; I'm fine.' You have any idea how sick with worry all these readers have been, and then you do the biggest ass pull in the world?"

"So you're saying it would've been _better_ if I was raped?"

"Wh—no! No, uh that's-that's not what I'm saying! All I'm—"

"Think of this way: now all the readers can laugh because they realized Trowzer raped a guy."

Twink blinked a couple of times before he smiled widely and started to chuckle. "Actually, that is funny."

"Now, let's sneak out of here and find out what the hell is going on."

Peach jumped up and pressed the red button on the wall. After it beeped, the fireplace suddenly went out, and the metal bars tipped over and disappeared into the burnt wood and ash and soot. Peach crawled through the fireplace and arrived in the secret passageway. With Twink following behind her, Peach walked down the hidden tunnel until she arrived at the two-sided revolving wall. She pushed the red button on the wall and waited as it rumbled and started to spin around very slowly. Once again they were in Bowser's secret room, but unfortunately, he hadn't carelessly left his diary out for others to find. The princess headed over to the door and quietly opened it up so she could take a peek outside. The whole ballroom was swarming with koopatrols from Bowser and Trowzer's crew. Getting around this place would be impossible if Peach didn't have her Sneaky Parasol.

"Wow. And I thought sneaking around this castle would be hard _last_ time."

"Don't worry, Twink. I still got that Sneaky Parasol."

Peach walked down the stairs next to a koopatrol who was chatting with another guard and quickly flashed the Parasol at him. She immediately copied his identity and spun around until Peach looked like an ordinary koopatrol. She sighed.

"You think anyone will care that there's a giant star hovering behind you all the time?"

"They didn't last time." Peach walked over to the two guards and started to talk to them. "Either of you, um, brutish thick-skulled henchmen for Bowser know where his brother is?"

"In the bathroom. Trust me; you do _not_ want to go in there."

"Oh. Well, do you know what they're doing to Mario?"

The koopatrol giggled. "Roy and Mr. Farter are down there with him—I'm pretty sure it's nothing that's pleasing their sense of smell."

"Do you know how to get down there?"

Now the other koopatrol started to speak. "Bowser's castle is a maze. Even I get lost down there sometimes. Why do you care anyway? We—Trowzer, I mean—finally caught the guy. He's chained up with his brother and two friends. What could possibly go wrong?"

Peach nodded. "Can't be too careful."

"Or too paranoid."

Peach left the two koopatrols alone and started to walk away when she noticed that two koopatrols wearing blue and green were guarding the door to the library. Curious, she walked over towards the door and tried to go inside. One of the koopatrols immediately shoved her away, causing her to shout and fall on her posterior.

"What—"

Peach tried to walk inside again, but the other koopatrol shoved her away again. Ambitious, Peach huffed and ran towards the door. One of the guards immediately grabbed her wrist and started to twist it, making the faux koopatrol whimper.

"Come near this door again, and you'll lose this hand."

After more twisting, the koopatrol finally let Peach go. She winced and looked at her wrist before walking away and heading through the double-doors leading downstairs. The area was filled with even more koopatrol guards wearing green and blue shells, all of whom looked just as burly and aggressive as the two guards in front of the library's door. Peach sighed and started to look all over the floor. She was gonna have to duplicate one of these guards if she was gonna get inside the library. So she walked over towards the kitchen and snuck inside, where she found a chubby koopatrol guard stuffing his face with cake. She turned back into her original form, then quickly used the Parasol on the guard and took his form. The guard thought he smelled Peach's perfume and stopped eating, but after a brief moment, started to noisily chomp his way through the cake again. The princess snuck back outside and sighed with relief.

"Hey, Benson!"

Peach glanced over into the giant crowd and saw Lemmy running over towards him, twirling a rubber band in his hands.

"Benson! I'm talking to you!"

Peach just assumed he was talking to her and acknowledged him. "Yeah?"

"Does this hurt?"

"What are you talking about? I feel—"

Peach screamed when Lemmy flicked the red rubber band in her right eye, causing her to fall down and grasp it. Lemmy laughed heartily as he watched the faux koopatrol roll around and gasp in pain before he took another rubber band out of his shell and aimed it at Peach.

"So, did that hurt?"

"YES!"

"Awesome! This day just keeps getting better and better!"

Peach removed her hand from her eye and winced again as she stood up. "Yes, yes, I've heard about the whole Mario Bros. capture. So what do you plan on doing with him?"

"Why? You wanna eat their corpses after we kill 'em?"

Peach looked down at her rotund girth and realized that she wasn't in her own body, so she decided to respond the way Benson would. "Maybe."

Lemmy scoffed. "We're letting Roy and Wario deal with them first. If they're not dead by the time they finish, I figure Dad and Trowzer will come down and finish 'em off. Sad really, I have no idea what we're gonna do after Mario and Luigi are dead."

"What about Trowzer? Do you know what he's gonna do with 'em?"

"Why you askin' me all this stuff? You're one of Trowzer's guards; you go ask him!"

"Right…just as soon as I finish that box of cookies."

Lemmy laughed again before he walked over to another guard, rubber band ready in his hand. Peach waited until he flicked the rubber band in another koopatrol's eye before she went back upstairs and approached the library's door. The guards glanced at Peach's uniform before they continued to survey the area, paying no attention to her, or the giant yellow star hovering above her head. She opened up the door and walked inside. The whole library had guards all over the place. Peach could barely maneuver past all the koopatrols and bookcases in order to get to the end of the room. But eventually, she could see some of the Trowzer's primary henchmen standing beside him. The giant koopa had left the bathroom and was now plotting out his next phase in his plan. Peach got as close to Trowzer as he could and listened in to the conversation.

"So once Lloyd and his team take over Yoshi's Island, where do we move onto next?" asked Zorblax, the putrid piranha who decided to switch teams.

"Glitz Pit. I have plans on turning that floating arena into a weapon."

"That's gonna be hard considering Glitz Pit is hundreds of miles in the sky. Why don't we just blow the place up?"

Trowzer smirked. "I never said we weren't."

"But you said—"

"It's very, very simple: all we have to do is take control of the Pit, fly it over a highly populated area, such as Rogueport or Toad Town, and we blow it up. Due to the size of Glitz Pit, the resulting explosion will send debris the size of buses falling down onto the ground."

Kirzvolitken laughed evilly. "It'll be like meteor shower!"

Trowzer nodded. "That's right."

"But what's the purpose behind it? I thought our plan was to take over territory, not blow it up?" asked Steve.

"I have no need for some silly fighting arena. And the resulting disaster will have everyone around the kingdom distracted; it'll take the focus away from us."

"You really think they'll blame Bowser for the 'meteor shower'?"

"Doesn't matter. As long as everyone believes the disaster was just a horrible accident."

"And then what?" asked another koopatrol.

"I haven't figured it out yet. But I do know that…"

Trowzer suddenly stopped talking and flared his nostrils a bit, smelling something out of the ordinary. He glanced to his left and right, trying to find the source of the mysterious smell, before he smirked and grinned slightly.

"Something wrong, sir?"

"No, of course not. Now, once we're in control of Yoshi's Island, I'll figure out what to do with Bowser and his family. But for now, I suggest we leave before anyone realizes what we're doing."

Everyone nodded and quietly started to walk out of the library. But Peach and Twink stayed behind, eager to see if they could talk to Trowzer in person. Much to their surprise, Trowzer walked up to Peach himself, shockingly not surprised that Twink was hovering who appeared to be Benson.

"Oh, Benson, I need a favor from you," he said.

"Does it involve snacking on your leftovers?"

"Not this time." Trowzer took a gold key out of his shell and held it right in front of Peach's face. "You see this?"

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna need you to hide it. You see, unlike my idiot half-brother, I'm well aware of that secret tunnel the princess has in her room. It would be such a shame if she found this key and, oh, I don't know, found a way to give it to Mario?"

"Hehe, that's funny, Peach sneaking out," said Peach, scratching behind her head.

"You see, there's a vent in the storage room—the one some of Bowser's guards used a while back to host a trivia contest for Peach—and if Peach found this vent and shoved the key down it, it could fall into the chamber Mario's in and fall right into his hands."

Bowser suddenly grinned wider than ever before. "We wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?"

"Of course not, sir."

"Good." Trowzer dropped the key in Peach's hands. "Now, you hide that in a place where Peach will never find it, _Benson_."

Peach glanced up at Trowzer and stared at his malicious grin. He chuckled to himself and started to walk out of the room. Once he left, Peach quickly ran out of the library and headed downstairs. She sprinted her way over towards the storage room and barged inside. Like Trowzer said, there was a vent in the floor leading down to Mario's chamber. Peach quickly changed back to her original form before she got on her knees and started to hold the key over the vent. Just then, Twink floated in front of Peach and blocked the vent.

"WAIT! Wait a second, Peach!"

"What for? Trowzer basically handed us Mario's ticket to freedom!"

"That's the problem, Peach! Something's not right—Trowzer is making this far too easy for us. It's like he wants us to free Mario!"

"You don't know that."

"Are you serious? Hell, he may as well have just said. 'I know you're Peach, but I'm giving you this key anyway,'"

"So, what, he wants us to free Mario?"

"Yes! What if Trowzer already knows you snuck out? What if Trowzer wants you to let Mario escape so he could do something even more horrific to him and his friends?"

"Twink, if we do nothing, Mario and his friends are dead!"

"But if we put that key down the vent, we'll be playing right into Trowzer's grimy hands. For all we know, he could be watching us right now through secret surveillance cameras."

Peach sighed and shook her head. "Twink, if we do nothing, we're stuck here, and the Mario Bros. will be defeated. If we do _something_, at least they'll have a chance. Mario has saved me dozens of times before; don't you think it's time I return the favor?"

"Not if it gets him into a bigger trap!"

"…We're just gonna have to risk it."

Twink sighed with defeat and backed away from the vent. Peach opened up her hand and watched as the key began to fall down the ventilation system.

* * *

The four heroes stopped coughing once Wario and Roy finally stopped passing gas. The whole room smelled horrendous; it was amazing that none of them had vomited from the stench yet. Luigi and Kooper's eyes were watering, and Mario's eyes were red. Geno wasn't exactly suffering, but he still somehow managed to detect a rank odor in the air.

"How's about we take a break for now, let the prisoners bask in their own funkiness?"

Roy scoffed. "Fine. Better yet, why don't you head back to my dad's castle and fetch us some beans?"

Wario let out his trademark evil laugh before he started to walk out the chamber. "You got it!"

Mario groaned as he watched the fat biker exited the room, whilst Roy locked the door back up and continued to pace back and forth in front of his prisoners. Suddenly, a loud clinking sound was heard and Mario glanced up at the vent he spotted earlier. Roy chuckled as he saw the plumber.

"What, you think a magical fairy's gonna fall from the sky and come rescue you guys?"

"The only…'fairy' I see…in this room…is you, Roy," said Kooper.

The hot-headed koopaling didn't hesitate to rush over towards the koopa and kick him in the throat. Before Kooper had time to spit out another comment, Roy turned around, squatted, and let out a huge fart in Kooper's face. He laughed wildly as he heard the koopa coughing and groaning with disgust, knowing the gas got into his mouth and nose. Roy was so distracted by Kooper's dismay that he failed to spot the key plummet from the vent…and land right into the palm of Mario's gloved hand.


	35. Nostalgia, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Part 1 of 2. Mario and the gang escape the torture chamber and find themselves traversing through a dungeon full of seemingly deadly and mind-boggling traps.

**Nostalgia (part 1)**

Mario glanced over at Roy. The burly koopa was still busy torturing the koopa with his flatulence and body odor. The plumber clutched the key tightly in his hand before he grunted and curled his hand so his fingers were almost pointed at his wrist. Still grunting, Mario slid the key forward with his fingers just enough so he was still grasping it. The key entered the lock tied around his wrist, and Mario began to pant as he twisted it a little to see if it would work. There was a faint click, and the lock slowly swung open, freeing the plumber's hand. He smiled widely before quickly whipping around and freeing his other hand. Mario fell to the floor with a faint thump, but Roy still hadn't heard him, too busy tormenting Kooper. Mario rushed over to Geno and started to unlock his right hand, just in time for Roy to glance over and notice that he was free.

"WHAT THE (CENSORED)!"

After Geno's hand was free, Roy tackled the plumber to the floor and snarled as he punched him twice in the face. Mario blocked his third punch with his hand and head-butted Roy in the nose. The smelly koopa shouted and got off Mario, just in time for Geno to unlock his other hand. The plumber punched Roy in the face twice before shouting and kicking him in the abdomen, causing Roy to groan and hunch over. He kicked Roy in the face this time, busting his lips. Geno rushed over and unlocked Luigi's wrist-collars as fast as he could before heading over and working on Kooper's chains. Roy hid in his shell and performed a knock-off (but still quite powerful) version of his father's Whirling Fortress move, hitting Mario and Luigi several times and sending them in different directions. Mario shook his head and gasped when he looked up, noticing Roy was charging right towards him. The plumber stuck his hand out and threw a fireball, which hit Roy in the eyes and blinded him temporarily. Roy shouted and tripped, sliding on the floor towards Mario's feet. The plumber lifted his shoe and promptly shoved it as hard as he could in Roy's face, leaving a print all over it. Roy growled and prepared to attack Mario again, but Luigi jumped on his back and attacked from behind, wrapping his skinny arm around his throat. Roy gagged and started to pry Luigi's arm away, but eventually just veered his head back and knocked Luigi in his nose.

Geno had released Kooper now, so all of the heroes were free. Kooper immediately hid in his shell and performed a Shell Toss move, hitting Roy in his legs and tripping him. Making sure the brute koopa had no chance to recover, Mario jumped on his head, shortly before Kooper rushed over and _stomped_ on his head with frustration. Judging by the loud crack they heard, and the red bruise on his head, they assumed Roy was unconscious, or at least too weak to get up. Everyone looked all around the chamber, making sure the coast was clear.

"You guys all right?"

"I got farted on! What the hell do you think?" shouted Kooper.

"Good, so we're all okay."

Luigi huffed. "We need…shrooms. If we run into another bad guy, we won't last a second. I can't believe we still managed to beat the crap out of Roy."

"Don't you mean get our asses handed to us by Roy?"

Everyone looked down at the subdued koopa and heard him groan groggily. Kooper grunted and kicked Roy as hard as he could in the groin, making Roy shout out loud and whine. Mario dragged his feet towards the chamber's locked door, key in hand, when someone from the other side began to unlock it. Mario's eyes grew wide. He hadn't dealt with Wario yet.

"Hey, we're outta beans, but I brought a bunch of shrooms—"

Mario shouted and slammed the door on Wario when he was halfway inside, slamming his head against the wall in the process. Wario shouted and dropped the food, just before Mario slammed the door into him again, sandwiching him in-between the hard wall and the metal door. Mario shouted and slammed the door into Wario again and again and again…and again…and again until the fat man finally collapsed to the floor. Mario exhaled twice before he slid down to the floor and sighed, exhausted. He leaned over and grabbed a bunch of shrooms from Wario's pockets as well as his key and huffed as he got to his feet.

"C'mon, we gotta get outta here before they wake up," said Mario.

Everyone nodded and dragged their feet across the floor, still trying to ignore the hellacious beating they just received from both of their foul torturers. They managed to exit the chamber and arrived in a musty and dusty corridor lit with blue flames. Mario pulled Wario's body into the chamber before he locked the door from the outside and sealed it shut.

"Okay…hard part's over," said Mario.

He tossed a healthy, green ultra shroom over to Geno, Kooper and Luigi before he started to eat one himself. Geno was halfway done eating his shroom when he suddenly slowed down, and eventually stopped completely. Kooper finished his with a loud gulp and exhaled, now having most of his energy back.

"S'matter, Geno? Shroom's spoiled?"

"Any of you find this whole thing too…easy?"

Luigi scarfed the rest of his shroom too. "It doesn't matter now. We're free; let's go save the princess, kick Bowser's ass, and go home!"

"What about Trowzer?" asked Kooper.

"And how did Mario even get the key to free us?"

"It…fell," said Mario.

Everyone stared at Mario with a serious look on their faces. "You're joking," said Luigi.

"No, really! There was a vent in the ceiling and I guess someone just dropped the key…all right, everyone walk carefully."

"Why?"

"If Geno's right then there's a good chance Trowzer wanted us to get free from that chamber. There's a trap in here somewhere…"

"But that's ridiculous! What's the point in letting us escape when he could have those two gas-bags kill us?" asked Kooper.

"I don't know! Just be on the lookout for anything dangerous!"

"Like all those dry bones up ahead?" said Luigi, pointing down the corridor.

Everyone looked down the hallway and noticed that several dry bones were quickly rushing towards their position, ready to attack them with bones. Mario took out a fire flower he stole from Wario and rubbed it together in the palm of his hands. He tossed the seed down and watched as the plant instantly grew into a fully bloomed flower. It leaned towards the dry bones and squirted out dozens of fire pellets, setting four of them ablaze. The four stopped dead in their tracks, charred, before one of them coughed out a bit of smoke. Their bodies were nothing more than ash, and they quickly collapsed into a pile of soot. The rest of the gang knew what had to be done in order to defeat the dry bones permanently. Luigi charged towards two of them and ducked when they simultaneously chucked bones at him. Then he threw two green fireballs at one, killing it instantly. The other chucked two bones at his head before tossing one at Mario, who rolled out the way and dodged it. Mario heard a couple of thumps up ahead and turned to see a dry bones tossing more bones onto the floor. Before he could stop the skeletal koopa, the pile of bones became sentient, and shook before it turned into a full-grown dry bones.

"This might take a while."

Although Geno's attacks were powerful, they weren't fire based. One minute Geno was shooting stars out of his hands; the next he was shooting bullets out of his elbows. Lucky for him, a majority of his moves managed to topple a dry bones in a single blow. Geno ducked twice when two bones were launched at him before using his hands to block the next bone, minimizing the damage. As Geno began to work on another dry bones, he heard faint crackling and glanced over to see that the two enemies he just defeated had came back to life. One of them threw four bones at Geno back to back, but the doll easily avoided them by ducking or strafing to his left or right. Geno fired more stars from his arms again, hitting two more dry bones and knocking them apart. Unfortunately, another three saw what happened and quickly threw more piles of bones on the floor, thus spawning three more skeletal koopas.

Mario and Luigi looked at the army of dry bones and panted as they began to back away. The dry bones weren't even attacking Mario and his friends anymore. They were just building more and more dry bones—at least thirty had filled up the corridor now, and even more were coming.

"Little help here Kooper?" asked Luigi.

Kooper got out of his shell and started to pant when the dry bones he just defeated shook and sprang back to life. All the dry bones were slowly backing the heroes into a corner, bones ready in all of their hands. The blue-shelled koopa got into his shell and began to spin around quickly. Geno, Mario and Luigi backed away when they saw his shell catch on fire, realizing he was about to perform the Fire Shell move. Once Kooper was fully charged, the koopa shot himself forward and shot his way through at least two dozen dry bones, setting all of them on fire and incinerating their brittle, dry skeletons. All of their ashes were blown away and the entire dry bones army was down to only two. Mario and Luigi threw as many fireballs at them as they could before they could create any more allies. The last dry bones slowly collapsed to the floor, for good this time. Kooper got out of his shell and stood back up.

"WHEW! Haven't done one of those in a while."

Kooper walked over to the door and started to head into the next room. "We'd better get out of here before more dry—"

The koopa yelped when he walked through the door and only made contact with air. Gravity quickly set in, and Kooper plummeted down to an unseen platform. Mario and the others quickly ran up to the door and looked down to find Kooper lying face down on a weird, green platform with tan railings on the side and metal tiles going down the middle.

"Whaddaya think? Should we jump in after him or just—"

Luigi shouted when Mario shoved him through the door, causing him to fall right beside Kooper. Mario and Geno jumped in after them and landed on their feet. Mario heard a seismic slam from above and looked up to see what happened to the door. Weird thing was that the door was gone. There was nothing above him except clouds. In fact, when Mario walked over towards the railing and looked down, he realized there was nothing under them either but more clouds. Kooper groaned as he stood up and shook his head, only to find out that he was standing on a platform hovering above the sky.

"Err…are we still in Bowser's castle?"

"Actually, if I didn't know any better, I'd say we—"

"START!"

Luigi shouted and ducked as he looked up at the sky. "Who the hell said that? !"

Geno looked down at his feet and noticed he was running forward. Geno shouted and tried to hold himself back, but his feet wouldn't obey him. Mario, Kooper and Luigi were running forward too, unable to control themselves. They jumped over a gap between the starting platform and then landed on another large, brown one. Mario started to pant, but eventually saw what was going on. Up ahead were another twenty-four platforms, and another giant platform that indicated the finish line. They were stuck in the "Platform Peril" mini-game.

"JUMP!"

Mario sprinted forward and jumped on another platform. Luigi came down on a moment of nostalgia and figured out what was happening too and promptly jumped forward. But Geno and Kooper hadn't played this game before. They didn't understand the rules, or why they spontaneously jumped forward in the first place. However, once they looked down at the brown platform and saw it shaking, their instincts came in and they jumped onto the next platform just seconds before the one they were on plummeted. But Mario and Luigi were already three platforms ahead, and all the ones they stepped on were beginning to shake and rumble. Geno and Kooper yelled and sprinted forward, jumped, sprinted forward, jumped, sprinted forward, and jumped again. Luigi swore when he arrived at the platform with the red treadmill on it directing him in the opposite direction. Just seconds before it shoved him off, he screamed and jumped towards the next platform, just barely making it. Mario was two platforms ahead, now on the green and blue treadmill directing him forward. The plumber panted and grunted as he jumped towards the next one containing the red and white striped pyramid obstacle. It was a shame really. Bowser (or Trowzer) had turned a wonderful, friendly game like "Platform Peril" and turned into something sadistic and twisted. Sure, if he died in this game during one of his parties, Mario would just come back to life safe and sound later. But here in Bowser's dungeon, Mario knew for a fact that if he fell here, he wouldn't get back up. Depending on how cruel Trowzer really was, there probably wasn't even a bottom. He'd be falling forever and die of old age in mid-air.

Mario was about halfway, about to hop onto one of the tiny rectangular platforms when he shouted and tripped. In the game, Mario wouldn't have been able to use his hands. But this was (or maybe it wasn't?) real life, which meant Mario could open up his hands and reach the edge of the platform with his fingers. And since this was—apparently—real life, there was no stopping Luigi from bending down and pulling Mario back up. To their surprise, Geno and Kooper were only one platform behind. They waited until they jumped onto the adjacent platform before hopping onto the next larger one separated by another giant pyramid. Mario and Luigi jumped on the right part of it, and Geno and Kooper got on the left. After the platform began to shake, they jumped forward again and landed on another platform with a red treadmill going backwards.

All four of them sprinted and panted heavily as they tried to get to the next platform, a thin, rectangular one. But after hearing a faint click, the treadmill began to go twice as fast. Everyone shouted and began to run faster as their foreheads became drenched in sweat. Another click was heard, and the platform up ahead that none of them even touched was beginning to shake. They'd be dead before they even had time to jump. So, using all their adrenaline and stamina, the four heroes sprinted forward, hopped onto the next platform, and then hopped onto one of the two tiny platforms hovering next to each other. They did the same thing again before hopping onto the metal tiled green platform that was moving from side to side. Only four platforms left. The group landed on the next platform. Three left. All of them kept to the left to avoid the pyramid and landed safely on it. Two left. The next platform was the same, only the pyramid was on the left side, so the heroes had to stay on the right. Just one left now, and then they'd be at the finish line. The four heroes jumped and landed on it.

And then it started to fall. Since Mario and his team were well-aware of how screwed up the rules were, they had a feeling the platform would fall right when they landed on it. All of them leaped as far as they could towards the finish line, just barely making it. Mario exhaled once he and his brother stomped on the finishing platform. Geno only got one foot on and almost tripped, but quickly threw himself forward so the rest of his body didn't slide off. Kooper on the other hand did not make it. The only reason why he was still alive was because Geno swung himself around and grabbed Kooper's arm. The blue-shelled koopa panted and looked up at the sentient doll before he grunted and yanked Kooper up to the platform. All of them collapsed on their backs (except for Kooper, who collapsed on his front) and started to exhale and sigh with relief.

"Who the…hell thought of a game where you're standing thousands of feet in the air on falling platforms?" asked Kooper.

"Hey, at least we all made it. 'Sides, it could've been much worse."

"Yeah…where's the door?" asked Mario.

"This is from your party, bro. How do we usually get out of this game?"

"Everything fades to black and then we're teleported…oh, no."

The clouds began to dissipate, the blue sky steadily grew dark, and the next thing Mario and the gang knew, they were engulfed in absolute darkness. The heroes could feel themselves being pulled and pushed throughout space as they plummeted to the ground…or whatever was below them. They didn't scream—they noticed that they couldn't even if they tried. The heroes continued to fall for several seconds until they abruptly landed on something hard and grunted in pain. Mario sat up and shook his head before he looked all around and examined his surroundings. They were inside what appeared to be a volcano, but they were sitting on weird block-like objects. If any of them looked down at them, they would've noticed that they were grinning evilly. Mario stood up just before he yelped and rolled out of the way. A dry bones was charging towards him, ready to bonk him on the head with his bone. The plumber ran after the assailant and whacked him in the back of his head when his back was turned. The semi-deceased koopa fell off the platform and plunged into the sea of lava below them. That's when the strange grinning blocks shook and rumbled, and two of them shifted into a different position.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" shouted Luigi.

All the memories were coming back now. They were trapped in another mini-game. The blocks they were standing on were grindels, and the goal of the game was to knock all of the opponents into the lava. Only, it seemed to be four against four, instead of the usual four-way free-for-all.

"Knock the dry bones into the lava!"

"What?" asked Kooper.

Mario ran up to another dry bones and jump-kicked it before punching it towards the ledge. "Just do it!"

Kooper hid in his shell and did his Shell Toss move, knocking one of the dry bones towards two grindels. One of them shook a little, indicating that it was about to move, but the dry bones didn't seem to notice. It took out a bone and prepared to chuck it towards the koopa, but right when it was about to, the grindels moved, leaving a gap just big enough for the dry bones to fall through. They just started the game and there were only two more dry bones left. Geno jumped onto another grindel when the one he was on shifted and performed a ground pound on a dry bones. The dry bones crumbled into a pile of bones; there was no chance it'd get back up soon, and the grindel the bones were lying on was about to move. Lastly, Kooper and Mario attacked the final dry bones together, punching it right in the nose and sending it hurling into the lava pit, where it promptly melted in a matter of seconds. The grindels stopped moving; the game had been won.

"…Wow. That was a lot easier than I thought it'd be."

The mini-game stage started to fade black. "Damnit—we're about to teleport again!"

Everyone suddenly disappeared into the darkness and found themselves falling again. But this time, nothing was pushing them or pulling them up or down. They were just falling for what seemed like an hour. Time slowed to a crawl, and everyone apparently froze in mid-air, unable to move or scream anymore. There was a faint rumble, and the next thing the gang knew, they were falling again. They all grunted and bounced off a wall, then plummeted to the ground with a hard thud. Before they even had the chance to stand, they began to gasp and choke. Mario opened his eyes and saw that he was inside a pit full of yellow gas. The plumber's eyes grew wide—and burned—when he realized where they were.

"We have—" Mario couldn't even finish before he started to cough and gasp for fresh air. But everytime he inhaled, he got a face-full of the toxic gas. It was practically burning through his lungs like smoke.

"Follow me!" he shouted, still wheezing.

Whatever was in the gas seemed to be affecting Geno too. He wasn't coughing or choking, but the doll was steadily growing weaker and weaker. Mario stood up and covered his nose and mouth as he trotted through the gas chamber with the other three heroes behind him. Luigi had to stop so he could bend over and cough violently, almost to the point where he collapsed right then and there. The gas was making everyone dizzy, giving them headaches, and burning through their respiratory system. The group lost a good chunk of health before they finally made it to high grounds above the cloud of gas. All of them collapsed onto the ground and took in as much fresh air as possible before they wobbly go to their feet and sighed heavily.

"Hazy Maze Cave?"

"The…where?" asked Kooper.

"Oh my God, we traveled back to Princess Peach's castle! This is the level she had hidden in the basement!"

"And just _why_ did Peach have a portal leading to a toxic cave hidden in her basement?" asked Kooper.

"She didn't. Bowser hid all these stars…I'll explain later."

"How do we get outta here?" asked Geno.

"One of these paths leads to a door which leads to an elevator. Guess when we get on and reach the top it'll take us somewhere else. Just watch out for the snufits. And monty moles. And swoopers."

"(Censored). That door better be close by."

Mario led the other three back into the pit of toxic gas and started to sprint across the ground. All of them were coughing again as they ran across the ground, covering their noses with their arms and ducking as some of the swoopers swooped at them from the ceiling of the maze. Mario jumped up and kicked one aside while Geno shot bullets at another with his elbow. He quickly covered his nose as he and the others finally reached high ground. Before Luigi could dodge it, a snufit inflated itself and shot a couple of bullets at the skinny plumber. He groaned and toppled backwards into the toxic gas. Kooper helped up the plumber before Geno fired several stars at the snufit, making it burst like a balloon.

"Which way do we go now?"

"Right."

Everyone started to take the right side of the maze.

"No, no, wait! It was left. We gotta jump up to a ledge—it's down this way."

Mario jumped into the cloud of toxic gas on the left side of the maze and began to run towards the door. The other three heroes trailed after the plumber and avoided another snufit as it bloated itself up and tried to assault them all with more bullets when Mario jumped into the air twice and climbed onto a ledge. Kooper, Luigi, and Geno quickly followed Mario to the dark blue metal door with a yellow knob and sighed.

"Okay, good. We're clear of the gas."

"Mario, what if that door leads to something even _more_ horrific?" asked Geno.

"Worse than being inside this maze that causes our lungs to shrivel up over time?"

"Isn't there another exit in here?" asked Luigi.

"We don't have another choice, guys. The longer we wait, the more time Trowzer has to take over Yoshi's Island and whatever piece of land he wants!"

Geno sighed. "If you say so."

Mario twisted the knob and pushed open the door. He arrived in a narrow, gas-less corridor with two swoopers hanging from the ceiling. The four heroes saw the elevator at the end of the corridor and ran towards it, making sure they avoided the two bats that came down from the ceiling. Luigi ducked before he charged at the swooper and kicked it. Geno shot a couple more stars at the other swooper, causing it to explode in an instant. They all proceeded to get on the elevator, which hummed as it began to ascend. The gang waited patiently for the elevator to reach the top before it rumbled and stopped. Mario examined his surroundings again, but they didn't seem to be in the cave anymore.

"What is it now? Another strange mini-game?" asked Geno.

Mario looked up ahead. The air smelled of mold and there was water everywhere. They must've been in the sewers or a tunnel.

"I think this is the underground tunnel in Ricco Harbor. We must be at the Blooper surfing race course Big Daddy built for me."

"Where's Big Daddy?" asked Kooper.

"Well, maybe he—" Once everyone turned around, their eyes grew wide. Kooper's jaw dropped in shock while the Mario Bros. looked like they had just seen a gigantic boo. Big Daddy was there, dancing like all Piantas do with his hands in the air, rocking his hips and performing somewhat of a thrusting motion. The gang would've thought nothing of it if Big Daddy wasn't naked. The only thing Big Daddy had on was his hat. And judging by his…size…they could see _why_ they called him Big Daddy.

"Dude…"

"Hey guys! Wanna ride—"

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" screamed Kooper.

Everyone turned around and exhaled as they rubbed their heads and shuddered. "Why—"

"We're gonna ignore…_everything_ we saw just now, jump on a Blooper, and find the next portal out of here," said Mario.

"Ditto."

"…Is that Geno?"

Geno was so horrified with the sight of Big Daddy's birthday suit that he immediately jumped into the water and started to swim away. The doll was actually hoping he'd end up in that gassy cavern again.

"TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK!"

Luigi, Kooper and Mario backed up and jumped onto a Blooper surfer, making sure to shield themselves of Big Daddy with their hands. They instantly turned themselves around and surfed over towards Geno; Luigi plucked him out of the water and Geno wrapped his arms around the plumber so he wouldn't fall off. They all turned a corner on the obstacle course and surfed forward into what appeared to be another portal.

"So where do you think this leads to?" asked Luigi.

"Hopefully not a gigantic penis!" shouted Kooper.

Mario shuddered. He still had that vile image locked away in his skull. The heroes surfed their way through the glowing black and blue portal and found themselves falling into pure darkness yet again. The surfing squids disappeared and the gang suddenly grunted as they all landed on a giant block hovering in mid-air. Desperately to find out where he was, Mario quickly stood up and looked around. He was floating in space.

"No…"

Mario looked up ahead and saw what appeared to be a complex obstacle course, one he had encountered in one of the secret stages in Isle Delfino. The plumber walked to the edge of the block he was standing on and looked down. There was nothing but more space and stars, just a bottomless pit. Trowzer didn't need to reconfigure these stages—they were already pure hell to begin with.

"Kooper?" asked Luigi, his voice muffled.

The koopa grunted. "What?"

"I'm under you."

Kooper looked down and noticed he landed on top of Luigi and was crushing him with his body. The koopa rolled off of him and stood up so the plumber could groan and get to his feet. The rest of the heroes looked around the area and sighed with frustration. Getting through here wouldn't be easy.

"So, where are we this time bro?"

"Let me put it this way: if we fall, we'll be screaming until our vocal cords shrivel up."

"Great. Always loved bottomless pits," said Geno.

"It's just an obstacle course guys. No biggie. Knowing me, I'm sure I can just hop my way up to the top. 'Sides, how could it get any worse?"

Just then, the heroes heard faint fluttering from a distance. It started to get louder and louder, sounding like a small helicopter. All of them finally saw about a dozen flying shy guys hovering towards them. And some of them were carrying weapons.

"You mean besides those fly guys carrying submachine guns?" said Geno.

**To be continued…**


	36. Nostalgia, part 2

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary: **Conclusion. Tensions rise between Kirzvolitken and one of Trowzer's lieutenants, Dix begins to wonder what Trowzer's agenda really is, Mario and the gang are warped through more seemingly bizarre traps, and Lemmy's pranking and curiosity leads him to a deadly secret.

**Nostalgia (Part 2)**

The shady koopa couldn't stop rubbing his head as he and the dark koopa continued to bicker amongst one another. Kirzvolitken sighed heavily and put his hand down before he started to talk to Trowzer again.

"Listen boss, you know you can't rush this. Didn't you say you have big plan for Bowser and his twerps? What, uh, what would happen should we swerve ourselves from plan?"

"We would be getting what we want even faster," said the dark koopa.

Kirzvolitken tried his hardest not to growl. "Did I sound like I was talking to you?"

The dark koopa flashed the Eastern European a smug grin only Trowzer could pull off. "No, but I'm offering my opinion anyway."

Kirzvolitken balled his hand into a fist and approached the dark koopa. Trowzer was tempted to see his second-in-command battle with the dark koopa, but he needed both koopas alongside him if he was to overthrow the Mushroom Kingdom, let alone the whole universe.

"I didn't realize I hired two cats. Perhaps you should give Shannon a chance to thoroughly explain his idea, Kirzvolitken?"

Shannon brushed past the shady koopa and stepped up to Trowzer's desk. "Sir, we should just go through with this now. The Mario Bros. are out the way, Yellow and Iggy are dead, and absolutely no one knows where Doopliss or Ludwig is. What's the point in teaming up with Bowser anymore? He hasn't done anything remotely worthwhile for the past few days; he and his family are just…just cockroaches you see clinging to the wall or ceiling. Why should we have to sit here and tolerate their dreadful appearance when we can just walk over and crush them with our boots?"

"Because the whole plan could backfire!"

Shannon ignored the shady koopa. "You want this, Trowzer. You know you do. You've been waiting for this ever since you reunited with your brother. We have more soldiers, better equipment, better weapons! …All we have to do is head over to his castle and just kill everyone in sight. It'll be a total bloodbath; you know no one will make it out alive. But if by some miracle they do, you can use the survivors as slaves! And once we take over Bowser's glorious empire, we can use the rest of our forces to rain Hell upon this country! Can't you see it, Trowzer?"

Trowzer couldn't help but slowly grin as he thought of all the demented images. Toad Town set ablaze, Petal Meadows ruled by several dragons, all of whom used the unfortunate turtles as their slaves, several crowds of innocent civilians running away from Trowzer's troops, only to be gunned down when they reached a dead end. All the sounds and sights were wonderful to the malicious big-shelled koopa. He could practically taste how exuberant he would be when he finally ruled Mushroom Kingdom. Kirzvolitken started to pant and flashed his eyes back and forth between Trowzer and Shannon, both of whom were grinning evilly.

"Boss! You can't just—"

"I'll tell you what my decision is later. For now…we'll wait and see how your man Lloyd does with his siege on Yoshi's Island. You may go now."

Shannon walked out of Trowzer's personal room with a smug smile on his face, while Kirzvolitken snarled and stomped out the room. The second they were away from the giant koopa's room, Kirzvolitken grabbed Shannon and shoved him against the wall.

"Hey, easy there!"

"Your plan will not work, understand?"

"Don't sound so pessimistic. If all you Neanderthals follow my plans carefully, then we'll be able to—"

"That's not what I refer to! You're trying to take over big boss's empire! You want him to attack Bowser's family, and once they're all dead, you're gonna quietly creep behind Trowzer and stab him in da neck!"

Shannon closed his eyes and calmly slapped Kirzvolitken's arm away. "Please. I'm not the ruling type. I'm like a hound: loyal and willing to do whatever my master wants."

Kirzvolitken stared at Shannon before he backed away and finally came to a grim realization.

"Son of bitch. You're after me, not him."

Shannon just shrugged and kept on grinning. "There can only be one 'hound' in this story, Kirzy. And let's face it: that's just not you."

Shannon could see the Eastern European slyly slipping a hand into his shell, ready to take out a knife. The dark koopa quietly sidled away from Kirzvolitken just seconds before he struck. The blade sliced through the air, unfortunately missing Shannon's throat. The dark koopa grabbed Kirzy's arm and bit him on the wrist. The shady koopa yelped and instinctively dropped his knife. Shannon caught it before it even hit the floor and placed the blade at Kirzy's throat. Shannon scoffed.

"You see? You're not ready to be Trowzer's main hound."

* * *

Bowser was standing in Peach's room again, staring at the beautiful princess as she sat down on her bed. But he wasn't being aggressive or idiotic like he usually was. If anything, the giant koopa looked distracted by something or solemn. He was speaking softly instead of yelling, which surprised the princess.

"Peach, you know that I care about you—"

"If that were true, you wouldn't have kidnapped me. You wouldn't be threatening Mushroom Kingdom with your giant league of henchmen and trying to take over the world."

Bowser blinked and approached Peach. "But wouldn't you like that? Ruling the world with me by your side?"

"Even if I did—which I don't, but if I did—why would I want to rule the world with you of all creatures?"

"…I don't have anyone else, Peach. Sure, I got a bunch of kids, but they're all idiots. Some of them are probably plotting behind my back. And all these guards…I don't feel the same way with them as I do when I'm with you. Your fragrance, your sunny, optimistic attitude…it's what I need in my life, Princess."

Bowser headed over to the bed and sat down beside Peach, making sure he didn't scare or threaten her in any way.

"I know I'm…abrasive, but I can change, Peach. I just…need you. I don't care about sex or spying on you when you're naked. I just need someone like you to help…to, uh…"

"Complete you?"

Bowser tried not to blush and looked away. "Yeah…that."

For a brief moment, Peach actually began to feel sympathetic for the oversized koopa. "You…you really have no one else in your life like me?"

"No. Just a bunch of useless guards and seven juvenile kids—one of whom I care about more than the rest."

Peach stared at the disheartened beast for a long moment before she slowly moved her right hand across the bed and grabbed his left one. Bowser looked down at their hands touching before he looked up at Peach and saw her trying to smile. Slowly and carefully, the giant koopa leaned over and wrapped his burly arms around her. Much to Bowser's surprise, she did the same, taking care not to grope the spikes in his shell. They didn't kiss or moan or grope each other's nether regions. They just breathed silently and cuddled with each other. Bowser started to smile, feeling like he finally accomplished his destiny. Right then, as he embraced Peach's hug, he felt happy…

* * *

Bowser was snorting and mumbling in his sleep, twitching and smiling erratically. Larry and Lemmy Koopa just stared at their father as he drooled on his desk.

"Aww, he looks cute!" joked Larry.

"Hehe, he must be havin' one of them dreams about Peach again."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, he always smiles like that in his sleep when he's thinking about Peach."

"Wow…didn't expect Dad to dream about her."

Larry and Lemmy sighed heavily and continued to stare at their snoring father. Then Lemmy abruptly lifted a pencil and balloon and snickered.

"That makes this so much funnier!"

Lemmy quickly stabbed the balloon with the sharpened pencil, causing it to pop. Bowser screamed as he was awoken from his dream of cuddling Peach. The koopa king was so startled that he stumbled and tipped his chair backwards, causing both of them to fall and land on the floor with a hard thud. Larry and Lemmy quickly scurried out of his room, laughing heartily. Bowser just roared and started to swear, realizing that he was back in his hectic and not-so-happy life.

* * *

Dix sighed heavily just as he finished urinating. The wingless paratroopa flushed the urinal before he headed over and washed his hands in the sink. After the paratroopa dried off his hands, he turned around and yelped. One of Trowzer's elite koopatrol units was standing right behind him.

"Jesus! Give a koopa a goddamn heart attack why dont'cha!"

The koopatrol didn't say a thing. He just blinked and continued to stare down into Dix's eyes. Dix stopped breathing heavily and stared back at the koopatrol. Both of them remained absolutely still; neither of them did a thing beside inhale, exhale, or blink. Dix, feeling a little awkward that he was trying to stare down the koopatrol in the men's bathroom, furtively moved away from the koopatrol and exited the bathroom. Once he got outside, Dix let out a long breath and continued to stroll around Bowser's castle. Everything seemed so strange. Ever since Dix joined Trowzer's league after the botched Toad Town hostage situation, things were becoming grim. Most of Trowzer's army was far too serious and didn't know the meaning of the word overkill. Dix saw a shady koopa stab a spider with a fork before he held it over a lit candle so he could watch it burn. A dark koopa was spotted tearing off a pider's legs, and he and the crowd of dark koopas sitting around him just watched as the poor creature thrashed about in agony. Then one of them promptly stomped on it like it was a cockroach.

But the worst part was when Dix briefly spotted one of Bowser's koopatrol units being dragged into a large, dark room. He was badly beaten and having trouble breathing, but Trowzer's men didn't care. They dragged the whimpering, struggling koopatrol into the room, and he never came out. Dix was tired of being left in the dark. He needed to find out just what the hell was going on before he got himself involved in something he couldn't get out of. Luckily, Dix was a great chef, and the kitchen in Peach's castle was still operable. The wingless paratroopa spent a large amount of time fixing several snacks before he stuffed them into his shell and headed outside. Dix found the chubby koopatrol Benson sleeping on the job again, snoring with his head planted on a table and an empty can of super soda in his right hand.

"Benson!"

The fat koopa snorted, dropped the can, and lifted his head. "Whuh, what? I-I was only sleeping for a little…oh, it's you."

"Benson, how long have you been working for Trowzer?"

The koopa shrugged. "Few years. Why?"

"So, uh, you could probably tell me what he does in his spare time? Maybe share what his hobbies are; what his plans are when it comes to taking over the world?"

Benson chuckled. "Don't be ridiculous. I can't go around spreading all of Trowzer's personal secrets—oh my God, is that a hot shroom?"

Dix had stealthily taken the recipe out his shell and placed it down on the table in front of Benson. "Indeed it is. Fresh out of the oven too."

Benson licked his lips and greedily threw himself at the plate. But Dix removed it at the last second and held the plate up in the air.

"You gonna speak or what?"

Benson huffed. "Trowzer's hated his brother ever since he was born. They fought over everything: toys, games, food—you name it. Trowzer always likes to beat Bowser at his own game, and as you can see, he's already done that by capturing Mario."

Dix put the plate back down, and Benson snarled as he began to ravenously chomp away at the steamy hot shroom. The former Bowser paratroopa waited until he was halfway through before he took out a plate of spaghetti and held it close to Benson's face. The fat koopa snarled and tried to grab it, but Dix moved the plate away, grinning.

"Not just yet. Tell me, what happened to Iggy Koopa? A lot of people have been saying that Mario killed, but that seems a bit of a stretch, dont'cha think?"

Benson growled and blinked. "We got rid of him. We just made it look like Mario did it so it'd spark rivalry between Bowser's family and the Mario Bros. If it hadn't been for us, we probably wouldn't have the Mario Bros. now."

Dix started to frown. He had a feeling he was asking questions a bit too sensitive to Trowzer's regime. But he still just had one last question to ask before he decided which team to side with. Dix put down the plate of spaghetti and watched the koopatrol voraciously tear away at the dish, getting spaghetti sauce all over his face. The wingless paratroopa took out a fresh, sweet, smooth choco cake from his shell and placed it in front of Benson's face. The koopatrol stopped slurping up the noodles and flared his nostrils. Still holding the pastry, Dix grinned and slowly moved it left and right, watching as Benson's eyes followed the delicious dessert.

"Holy crap! You have a choco cake!"

"Yes…such a mouth-watering treat, ain't it?"

Benson nodded and lowered his jaw, feeling some dribble hanging from his mandible.

"We're almost done here…is Trowzer planning on killing Bowser and his entire family?"

Benson almost nodded, but after hearing the question in his mind, he frowned and looked up at Dix. The paratroopa was still grinning and waving the cake in front of Benson's face when the koopatrol grabbed Dix's wrist and snarled.

"Hey, hey, c'mon, Benson! Just answer the question and I'll give you a scrumptious—URGH!"

Benson grabbed Dix by the throat and stood up. He shoved the wingless paratroopa against the wall and snarled as he tightened his grip.

"How's about I just _take_ the cake from you and you shut the (censored) up?"

Benson choked Dix with one hand and used his other to snatch the cake from him. Benson opened his mouth and devoured half of the cake with one giant bite before he let go of Dix and let him fall to the floor. Dix grabbed his neck and started to cough and hack violently before he slowly backed away from Benson.

"If I were you, I'd do as you were told and stop asking questions you don't need to find answers to. Wouldn't want a little 'accident' to happen to you, now would we?"

Dix finally caught his breath and inhaled deeply as he watched Benson shove the rest of the cake into his mouth. Realizing how irritated Benson was becoming, Dix headed out of the room and left the pudgy koopatrol alone. He didn't need to learn anymore; Bowser's family was in danger.

* * *

Mario shouted with frustration as he tried to throw an egg at the cloaked Inviso. But since he wasn't a Yoshi and rarely used eggs as weapons, his throw was subpar.

"Damnit! Where the hell—"

Mario shouted when the invisible monster bumped into the plumber, taking away a small portion of his health. Geno, Luigi and Kooper saw the monster for a brief moment, but moments later, it turned invisible and floated away.

"ARRRRRGH! This is taking too long! Don't you have some sort of heat-vision power, Geno?"

"I'm a star spirit, not a cyborg," replied the doll.

Just then, a few more peepers silently flew past the gang's head. One of them bumped into Kooper from behind, knocking him down and taking away another fraction of his health.

"I'm sick of these birds! Don't we have any weapons left? !" shouted Kooper.

"Besides your shell, no. I just used our last egg," said Mario.

"Why don't you do something, Luigi? ! You've just been standing around dodging and ducking while we're the ones getting' our asses kicked!"

"Hey, I can throw my shoe if you want," said Luigi flatly.

Kooper, frustrated out of his mind, yanked off his own shoe and screamed as he tossed it into the air. Miraculously, the koopa hit Inviso dead in its mouth. The monster reappeared, its mouth agape as it began to pulsate. Everyone stared at the defeated monster with wide eyes, surprised that a simple shoe could trounce a boss like Inviso.

"Holy crap, it worked," muttered Luigi.

Kooper put his shoe back on as it fell to the floor and noticed the ground shaking. "(Censored). I think we're about to teleport again!"

Everyone shouted as the Tall Tower stage suddenly disappeared in a blinding white light. Once again, the heroes were thrown into a dark void where they couldn't scream or move their bodies on their free will. They floated through the dark space for half a minute before they abruptly landed on the ground with a massive thud. Everyone groaned briefly before Mario shook his head and slowly got to his feet. He looked all around at the gang and noticed that all of them were still fine, but they were all standing on odd red platforms. Luigi stood up as well and took a look around. After analyzing the stage for a moment, he smiled and started to chuckle.

"It's a miracle, bro! We're on Yoshi's Island! Don't you remember that KEEP MOVING! ! ! ! stage?"

Mario scratched his head. "It can't be. After everything we've been through, I doubt those portals would magically teleport us here. Besides, look around: the stage is messed up. Everything's covered in this odd black fuzz and the stage is clouded with green fog."

Luigi shrugged. "Who cares? We're here; why don't we—"

"Wait a second…if this is the KEEP MOVING! ! ! ! level…holy (censored). EVERYONE START RUNNING!"

Mario began to sprint across the red platforms. Everytime his foot left one, the platform would disappear in a cloud of white smoke. Everyone who stared at him sprinting away raised an eyebrow. Luigi, however, knew exactly why his brother was running, and quickly followed him.

"I don't get it. What's so horrible about this stage?"

Just then, a massive thud was heard. Geno and Kooper made sure to keep their balance, but as they turned around, both of their eyes grew wide at the behemoth they saw. There was a gargantuan chomp shark covered in unbreakable gold fuzz. It had red spikes on its head, and unlike typical chain chomp creatures, this one seemed to have an evil glare. It flashed what Geno and Kooper could've sworn was a malicious grin at them before it opened its humongous mouth and roared. Seconds later, it began to chase after them, eating anything in sight.

"Oh, (censored)! GO, RUN!"

Soon afterwards, Kooper and Geno began to sprint down their column of platforms as well. The platforms they were standing on were number platforms, and someone unfortunately rigged them all to disappear after just one step. The chomp shark was still hot on their tails, its massive teeth tearing through anything it could find. Mario and Luigi were further ahead than Geno and Kooper, but after seeing the horrible monster, the doll and koopa sped up. All of them were panting and huffing as they sprinted from platform to platform, hoping to find hard ground soon so the chomp shark would crack its teeth on it. That's when all of them spotted a gap in the column of number platforms. Kooper swore to himself before the gang prepared themselves on the final platform. All of them shouted and leaped over the gap, landing on the next platform with ease. Unfortunately, the madness didn't stop there. Something up ahead fired, and the next thing the gang knew, a banzai bill zoomed towards the platforms and took out five of them instantly.

"WHAT! How the hell are we supposed to jump over that? !" shouted Luigi.

Just then, four paratroopas appeared and hovered in the middle of the oversized gap. The four heroes jumped and stomped on the paratroopas' heads, then used the added momentum to continue their jump and land on another series of number platforms. The menacing chomp shark was still on their tails, seemingly speeding up the faster they ran. Up ahead, they could see a dark cloud swirling around; they assumed it was another portal to another bizarre, mind-boggling stage from Mario's past.

"C'mon, we're almost there! As soon as we hit that portal, we'll be safe!" shouted Mario.

But the madness didn't cease. There was a gap even bigger than the two ones the heroes just crossed, and to make things worse, a few banzai bills appeared from below and ascended. They rolled their thick bodies around until they were staring at the heroes with nasty grins on their faces. Mario and the gang stopped, but only for a short moment. The chomp shark was still right behind them, and it was getting closer and closer. The banzai bills began to spin, zooming towards Mario and company. With no other option, all of them shouted and started to sprint to get a head start at the jump they were about to perform. Then they leaped, just barely missing the horrible weapons' angry grins. They bounced off the banzai bills and found themselves floating in mid-air for a short moment. As they began to fall, another series of banzai appeared from the bottomless pit. They luckily bounced off those as well, just in time for another banzai bill to appear. After another bounce, the gang mercifully landed on the number platforms. Mario glanced behind his shoulder and saw the chomp shark obliterate all the explosive banzai bills like it was nothing. It was still coming towards them.

With no other option, the gang kept running, panting as they neared the dark portal. Just then, a loud bang was heard, and several missile bills began to home in on the four heroes. Not only did they follow Mario, Luigi, Geno and Kooper, but they were also moving faster than they ran. Kooper looked over his shoulder and yelped when one of them was inches away from touching his tail. He hid in his shell and the missile bill exploded on impact, sending Kooper flying across dozens of number platforms. Mario and Luigi hopped into the air just as they were about to get hit; they stomped on their missile bills when their assailants tried to hit them. Geno took a huge risk and turned around so he could fire some stars at the missile bill. After he did, the missile-like projectile exploded on contact. The blast sent Geno a few platforms ahead of the Mario brothers as well. However, both he and Kooper had taken more damage than either of them anticipated. Mario hopped onto Geno's set of number platforms and sprinted to the fallen doll. Kooper meanwhile groaned. He landed on his shell, and the number platform was far too small for him to roll around on without falling off.

"KOOPER! Hide in your shell!"

The koopa already knew what Mario was about to do. Once he hid, Mario picked up Geno and started to carry him over his left shoulder. Then the plumber ran towards the blue-shelled koopa and kicked him as hard as he could. Kooper zipped across the number platforms and immediately disappeared into the void. Mario jumped back onto Geno's set of number platforms and started to sprint again, not even daring to look behind. The two plumbers ran as fast as they could, getting closer and closer to the portal, the chomp shark speeding up and snarling. Using their last burst of energy, the Mario brothers shouted and leaped as far as their bodies would let them. They reached the portal just seconds before the chomp shark bit through Mario's back. All four heroes disappeared into a soundless dark space and floated around for a moment before they finally landed on the ground with a hard thud. Not wanting to get attacked while they were down, everyone immediately got to their feet and looked around, panting and breathing heavily.

"Where are we? A castle, some lava mountain?" asked Luigi.

Mario exhaled heavily and looked around. The stage they were on was sunny and cheerful. Fruit was hanging in the air, and everything seemed tranquil. At least, until the spear guys showed up.

"Uh, I think this is the Shy Guy Limbo stage."

"Good. Then that means all we gotta do is jump over a few of the limbo guys' bars—"

Kooper howled in pain as a spear guy chucked his spear right at his leg. The koopa went down and landed on his shell, whining and moaning as he grasped his abused leg.

"GODDAMNIT, MY LEG!"

Luigi instinctively pulled the spear out, unaware that the spear probably cut several arteries in the koopa's leg.

"What are you doing? ! Put the spear back in; taking it out will just antagonize the wound!" shouted Geno.

"Sorry!"

Luigi stabbed Kooper in the leg again, but not in the same area as before. The koopa howled with pain again and continued to whine.

"…Oops."

Frustrated with everything going on, Koopa bellowed as loud as he could and got to his feet.

"STOP! EVERYBODY STOP!"

Surprisingly, the spear guys stopped charging towards Mario and the gang. Panting heavily, Kooper grunted twice and shouted when he removed the spear from his leg, ignoring the blood pouring out of the wound.

"Kooper, what are you doing? !" shouted Mario.

"I can't take this!"

Kooper hid in his shell for a moment, then suddenly reappeared carrying a copy of _With Big Shells and Wings_ in his hands. Everyone's eyes grew wide.

"Dude! How did you get a copy—"

"I bought it when we were in Isle Delfino; that's not the point! We are skipping all this bull(censored) right now!"

Kooper slammed the book down on the ground and opened it up, hastily flipping over to chapter thirty-six. Mario and Geno were at a loss of words.

"I—" Geno stammered. "Wait, how can we skip this?"

"When I was reading this book, I noticed that Lemmy burned part of it. That's why we kept warping back in chapter twenty-two!"

"What's your point?" asked Luigi.

Kooper reached chapter thirty-six and ripped out several pages. "My point is that the whole reason why this chapter and the one before it exist is so the author can (censored) with us as some sick-ass joke!"

"I thought this was all an elaborate trap that Trowzer—"

Kooper interrupted Mario. "I DON'T (CENSORED) CARE! I am burning these (censored) pages and we are gonna skip this (censored) right now!"

The koopa took out a lighter, flicked the lighter's wheel, and waited for the flame to come out. When it did, Kooper set all the pages he ripped out on fire. Mario, Geno, and Luigi's eyes grew wide as they watched pages from the fanfic burn.

"Kooper, are you absolutely sure about this?" asked Luigi.

"Of course I am! Once these god-awful pages burn, we'll be able—"

* * *

Everyone landed on the stone floor with a hard thud. The four heroes lied still for a moment before Mario groaned and rolled off of his brother. The rest of the heroes grunted a few times and shifted around before they got back to their feet.

"…Where are we now?"

"Uh, I guess we're back in Trowzer's dungeon. …How'd we get here again?"

Kooper shrugged. "Beats me. This scene just started with us falling on the floor. I remember something happening to my leg but it feels better now…"

"Perhaps we healed before we got here?" suggested Geno.

Luigi sighed. "Whatever. We're out of that demented portal…thing, that's all that matters. Let's keep going. With any luck we'll find Peach nearby."

"Right."

The four heroes continued to walk down the corridor when something buzzed loudly. Mario and the gang froze and were about to turn around, but it was too late. A trap door hidden in the floor activated, and the four heroes shouted as they plummeted into a vast amount of darkness. All of them hit the ground sooner than expected and rolled down what they believed was a hill covered with dirt and granite. They coughed, grunted and shouted as their bodies tumbled this way and that. Mario and Kooper acquired several scratches, and Luigi bashed his left arm against what he thought was a stalactite. They rolled for two whole minutes before they slid through another hole at the bottom of the hill and landed inside a dark red cave. Kooper landed first, followed by Geno, Mario and Luigi. The heroes remained still again before they gradually groaned and rolled off each other. Just as they began to stand, the heroes heard a massive thud. Everyone looked up ahead and gasped. Sharktail, Gloomtail's long-lost cousin, was standing right there. He lifted his head and roared viciously before he growled and lowered his head towards Mario and the gang.

"Finally! I've waited over twenty chapters for this! Twenty long, agonizing chapters! I've been in this cave for so long even the goddamn readers have forgotten about me!"

Kooper raised his left eyebrow in confusion. "Readers?"

"I'm really getting tired of people breaking the fourth wall," said Luigi.

"Look…Gloomtail—"

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!"

Sharktail laughed evilly and grinned widely as he approached the four heroes.

"You're gonna pay…you're all gonna pay!"

"W-Wait a minute! I wasn't even there when Gloomtail died! This (censored) ain't fair!" protested Kooper.

"Yeah, and Geno was the one who killed him! We just roughed him up a bit!" said Luigi.

Geno flashed the skinny plumber an annoyed glare.

"Doesn't matter…you three are responsible! And you," he said, glancing at Kooper. "I've always wanted to know what koopas taste like. My other cousin, Hooktail, says they're delicious!"

The heroes slowly backed away just moments before Sharktail began to inhale a large amount of air. Thanks to Bowser's teachings, Sharktail could breathe both fire breath and nasty poisonous breath. And he was about to use the former on his four foes.

"RUN!"

The heroes split up as Sharktail exhaled a large cloud of fire breath at Mario and the gang.

* * *

"You guys think Roy's doing okay?" asked Morton.

"He's downstairs inside a chamber—with Wario, let's not forget—beating the ever-loving snot out of a chained Mario and Luigi. Trust me, Roy's gonna be fine. If anything I'm worried about Lemmy," said Larry.

"Why?"

Larry sighed. "That pranking of his is getting a little out of hand."

Morton laughed. "Is that why you got that eye patch?"

"No, that was from something else. You remember that ghost guy? Y'know, that weird-looking freak-in-the-sheet?"

"What about him?"

Larry shrugged. "I dunno, but he's why I got this eye patch. …I haven't seen him lately and neither has Lemmy. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Ludwig in a while either."

"Pfft! Who gives a (censored) about Ludwig? ! He spends all day sitting up in his room sulking just cause Iggy's dead! We're all upset over what's happened; you don't see us whining and bitching about it!"

"Some of us handle grief differently. Ludwig sulks, Roy beats the (censored) out of random things, you yell, and Lemmy plays pranks on people."

"I did not yell when Iggy died!"

"You sure as hell cried a lot."

Morton didn't have any retorts to that. He just blinked and remained seated, fidgeting with the desk. The loud-mouthed koopaling sighed heavily as he began to think. He was about to say something else when Lemmy showed up snickering to himself and carrying a large bucket.

"Hey guys, how big is Trowzer's door?"

"…Why?" asked Larry.

"Err, no reason. I wanna…fix the shaving…wood."

"There's no shaving wood on a door, Lemmy."

"Yeah, well…Trowzer got a new door. Yeah, hence why I'm asking how big it is! It's new and-and I don't know its height!"

"What's in that bucket, Lemmy?" asked Morton.

"Stuff."

"Stuff."

"Stuff an' stuff like the salt-shaker…lemons."

Morton and Larry stared at Lemmy in silence before Larry finally figured out what the prank-loving koopaling was trying to do.

"You're gonna put that bucket over Trowzer's door so when he opens it, he gets covered in a bunch of slimy, smelly gunk, aren't you?"

Lemmy stared at Larry for a long time before he hastily dropped the bucket, pulled out a thin rubber band, and shot it at Larry's other eye. The koopaling howled and stumbled out of his chair, clutching the eye that wasn't patched. Lemmy picked the bucket back up and sprinted away.

"GOD, MY EYE!"

Morton couldn't help but guffaw to himself. "You gotta admit that's still pretty damn funny!"

* * *

The mischievous koopaling set the bucket right above Trowzer's door, which he had left ajar. Lemmy hopped off the small ladder he used to reach the top before he giggled to himself and hid behind Trowzer's desk. Miraculously, Trowzer wasn't there; he had been called away on another matter: a petty dispute between Kirzvolitken and Shannon. Lemmy was going to wait for Trowzer to return, but after several mishaps with pranking Trowzer, he decided it would be best to test it first. So Lemmy got up and casually opened up the door all the way, then threw himself backwards so the bucket wouldn't fall on his head. He was expecting a loud splash and a rank stench to fill the air, but nothing happened. Lemmy waited for a second before he glanced up and realized that the bucket hadn't fallen. It was sitting in mid-air. Lemmy curiously raised an eyebrow before he walked over to it and blinked.

"Really. You're really just gonna sit there," he said flatly.

Lemmy closed the door all the way before he opened it again. The bucket still didn't even budge. He opened and closed the door six times before he finally sighed heavily and rubbed his head. Lemmy took out a rubber band and flicked it at the bucket. Nothing happened. He took out another one and shot it at the bucket too. Still nothing. Lemmy stood underneath the bucket, but it still didn't even fall. The koopaling opened the door and stuck his head outside, then stuck it back in. And yet the bucket still floated in the same spot right above the door. Lemmy walked out of the room and closed the door. He rubbed his chin and waited a few seconds. Maybe I should forget about it, he thought. Any second now those guards I fooled into heading outside to look for that freak-in-the-sheet guy will be back. But Lemmy couldn't resist. Just watching all that slop splash onto Trowzer's face was too good to resist. So Lemmy turned around, opened the door again, and stepped inside.

And then the bucket of slop fell down on his head. Lemmy yelped as the sticky, disgusting bluish-black gunk covered his entire head, body and shell. Anyone who stepped within five feet of him would scowl and plug their noses. Whatever the slop was, it smelled worse than wild ramsons and stinky herbs put together. Lemmy glanced down at the fallen bucket and screamed with frustration. The koopaling picked up the bucket and hurled it at the wall, shortly before he started taking out his frustration on the room. He kicked the wall several times, swearing to himself, before he picked up one of the wooden stools and threw that at the wall too, unaware that he just opened up the secret door leading to Trowzer's clandestine cabinets. Lemmy swore and shouted with frustration a few more times, taking out more of his anger on some of the furniture, before he started to breathe heavily. Lemmy sat down in Trowzer's comfortable chair and began to pant and growl.

"Why can't I never prank this asshole? ! No matter what I do, all my goddamn plans always backfire! I'll bet if Iggy was here, I wouldn't have this problem in the first place! We would've pranked Trowzer weeks…ago…"

Lemmy exhaled heavily a few times and began to calm down. The mischievous koopaling sat in the chair for a while and sighed heavily. It wasn't until now that it finally hit him. His brother was dead, and he wasn't coming back. Lemmy dejectedly looked down at Trowzer's desk before he frowned. Suddenly he didn't care about pranking his half-uncle. He didn't care about pranking anyone for that matter. All he could think about was Iggy and all the good times they shared. He knew Iggy still lived on in his memories, but that wasn't enough. He actually wanted to see a living, breathing Iggy standing right before him, giving him a noogie like he always did. But that was never gonna happen. Lemmy closed his eyes before he placed his head down on Trowzer's desk. His vision became blurry as hot tears began to fill his eyes. Lemmy tried to blink them away, but he couldn't. The koopaling sniffled as two tears slid down his face.

"I miss Iggy…"

Lemmy just sat there, sulking in the same fashion as Ludwig before he disappeared. Two more tears came down Lemmy's face and he sniffled. As much as he wanted to grieve, Lemmy was still stuck in Trowzer's room. If his half-uncle saw him and realized he tried to prank him, he wouldn't show any mercy. Lemmy sniffled again and wiped his tears away before he got out the chair and looked for a towel. Not realizing that the cabinets weren't there to begin with, Lemmy started to open them one by one. Unfortunately, none of them contained any towels or napkins, just a bunch of files and folders.

"(Censored) it."

Lemmy took out a folder and randomly opened it up. He took out a blank piece of paper and started to wipe the muck off his face and out his multi-colored Mohawk. Just as he was about to take out another piece, Lemmy glanced and spotted a few pictures. They were of his brother Iggy, and Yellow and a few other people. It wouldn't have concerned Lemmy at all, except their pictures had large red Xs through them. Curious, Lemmy began to sift through the pages, and started to glance at Trowzer's files. Some of them had detailed explanations of how Trowzer's targets would be killed, or who his targets were. Others were just personal records, journals of Trowzer gloating about how smart he was and how he was gonna overthrow Bowser and his family. Lemmy's eyes began to water again and he fell to his knees.

"No…Iggy…"

Lemmy's hands shook as he grasped the paper revealing his half-uncle's betrayal. Two tears landed on the paper; Lemmy whined softly and gritted his teeth, unsure of whether he should be filled with anger or sorrow. But in the end, he wound up sobbing. Lemmy didn't know what to do now. His brother was dead, and the rest of his family was being targeted too. The koopaling shouted as he threw the folder at the wall, then a few more tears started to come out his eyes. He was so busy sobbing that he didn't realize he left Trowzer's door open. A koopa scowled as he smelled the mess on the floor before he saw the koopaling sitting on his knees, crying his eyes out. Lemmy sniffled two times before he wiped more tears away and finally mustered the strength to stand. He didn't notice that Kirzvolitken had stepped in the room and silently closed and locked the door. Just before Lemmy could turn around, he let out a high-pitched yelp. The Eastern European shady koopa had wrapped an arm around Lemmy's neck. There was a knife pressed against his throat. Kirzvolitken grinned widely as he heard Lemmy whimper.

"Y'know, maybe Shannon _is_ right. Perhaps it be best we just kill you all now," he whispered.

Lemmy whimpered again as the knife's blade began to cut through the skin…


	37. Desperate Struggle

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Mario and the gang get into a gruesome fight with Sharktail, and Lemmy shows Kirzvolitken that he's not the bumbling idiot people think he is.

**Desperate Struggle**

There he was, standing still with a serrated knife pointed right at his throat. All Kirzvolitken needed to do was plunge a little deeper and sever the koopa's arteries. He'd bleed out all over the floor and die a quick death. It was that simple. Lemmy whimpered again as the blade broke the skin and blood began to roll down his neck. He could just stay still and let the shady koopa kill him. He wouldn't have to grieve over his dead brother anymore. He could join him in the afterlife and finally be at peace. Lemmy shut his eyes, prepared to let himself drift over into the next world. Suddenly, a brief image of Iggy popped up in the mischievous koopaling's head. He saw Iggy stare at him with a frown on his face. The image shook his head before suddenly muttering, "Not yet."

And that's when Lemmy found a sudden burst of energy he never felt before. A fire had been set off in his brain, ignited by the fury and pain over his dead brother. He wasn't gonna die, not here, not now. He was gonna fight. Lemmy shouted and jerked his head backwards, bashing it against the Eastern European koopa's face. Kirzy shouted and backed away, holding his nose. He lowered his knife in the process and accidentally freed Lemmy. Lemmy turned around and began to breathe heavily, staring at the koopa with anger in his eyes. Just as Kirzy shook his head and recovered, Lemmy charged towards him. The koopaling shouted ferociously as he slammed into the shady koopa head-first and slammed him against the wall. They both hit the wall with a huge slam, causing a large hole to appear thanks to the shady koopa's shell. Lemmy removed his head and started to punch Kirzy in his face left and right, not giving the shady koopa chance to retaliate. But Kirzy was a professional when it came to fighting; Lemmy wasn't. The shady koopa blocked one of the koopaling's punches and sidled out of the way. He swiped his knife at Lemmy, trying to slash his throat. Lemmy backed away or ducked over and over again, narrowly avoiding all the times the blade nearly touched his skin.

Lemmy crouched down and tripped Kirzy, causing him to drop his knife and grunt as he landed on his shell. But being a shady koopa, Kirzvolitken could still attack. He hid in his shell, spun around, then zoomed forward and hit Lemmy with full force. The koopaling shouted and fell flat on his stomach, just in time for Kirzy to get back on his feet. He hopped over Lemmy's shell and stomped on his head before cartwheeling and picking up his knife in the process. Lemmy shook his head and rolled away, just moments before Kirzy swiped at his head again. Lemmy quickly rolled onto his stomach and got back up. He grabbed Kirzy's hand with one hand and used the other to punch the shady koopa in the eye twice, breaking part of his glasses. Kirzy shook them off his face before biting Lemmy in the arm. The koopaling yowled and let go, and then swore vehemently when Kirzy slashed him across the right cheek. Lemmy backed away three times in order to dodge two knife swipes and a kick to the groin. The koopaling punched Kirzy in the throat before kicking him in-between the legs. The shady koopa shouted and fell to his knees, mere seconds before Lemmy kicked him in the jaw with a loud thwack.

Kirzvolitken groaned as he fell on his shell again. His chin was beginning to sting; Lemmy's toe-claws must've broken the skin. But Kirzy didn't let up. He hid in his shell and spun around again, launching himself towards Lemmy whilst still hiding in his protective chamber. Lemmy shouted and groaned when his chin slammed against the corner of a table. Kirzy quickly got back up and hauled Lemmy back to his feet so he could give him a personal beating. He punched Lemmy in the face five times before kicking him in the abdomen and slamming his shoe against Lemmy's face. Lemmy backed away, staggered. Kirzy charged towards him, but Lemmy quickly slid out of the way and tripped him. The Eastern European koopa didn't even have time to scream before his head smashed into a lamp, shattering it and giving him intense head trauma. The hitkoopa fell to the floor, groaning and grasping his bleeding head. Lemmy picked up the knife and rushed towards the fallen shady koopa, but he slipped in the puddle of nasty sludge and fell, landing on his stomach. Kirzvolitken yelped and spread his legs when the knife landed point-down near his crotch. A couple inches higher and Kirzy would've been spending the rest of his life peeing with much difficulty.

The shady koopa grunted and flipped over, landing on his feet again. Lemmy panted hastily as he crawled over and snatched the knife off the floor. Once the koopaling stood up, Kirzy got behind him and started to choke him. Lemmy quickly bit the koopa on his arm, causing the shady koopa to shout in pain. Lemmy jerked his left arm out and tried to slice Kirzy. The pale-colored koopa grabbed his left arm before he ditched his choking plan. Using his right arm, he elbowed Lemmy in the face and simultaneously kicked him on the back of his left leg. As Lemmy began to fall, Kirzy snatched the knife out his hand and snarled as he tried to stab Lemmy while he was on his shell. Lemmy yelped and rolled to his right, and the knife grazed off his spiky shell. Kirzy tried to stab him again, but Lemmy rolled to his left, and the knife narrowly missed him a second time. Kirzy grabbed the knife with both hands and prepared to stab the koopaling right in his chest. Lemmy gritted his teeth, held up his legs, and kicked Kirzvolitken with both of his feet, launching his body against the wall. The koopaling rolled over and quickly got to his feet. He grabbed the closest thing he could off the table, which happened to be a measly sharpened pencil. Kirzy grinned devilishly and approached Lemmy. The koopaling kept a straight face, prepared to fight off the shady koopa with nothing but graphite.

Lemmy ducked and weaved, twisting his arms around and veering his head backwards in order to avoid the deadly blade. He could hear the knife slicing through the air with a swift, loud whoosh; there were a few times where the blade almost cut his corneas in half. Lemmy sidled around Kirzy and stabbed him in the arm, causing him to wince and back away. The koopaling spun around to avoid having his throat slit and wound up scraping the pointed end of the pencil against Kirzy's cheek. He dug so hard against the shady koopa's skin that Kirzy started to bleed. The shady koopa rubbed his cheek, surprised that a simple pencil could actually draw blood. He growled gutturally before he ran towards the koopaling again, ready to stab him this time. Lemmy avoided four swipes before he jerked his pencil horizontally at Kirzy's throat. At the same time, Kirzy also tried to stab Lemmy. Miraculously, Lemmy managed to stab Kirzy in-between his second and third knuckle. The shady koopa howled in pain and instantly dropped his knife. Lemmy jerked his pencil downward, causing it to snap in half. The Eastern European koopa swore vocally before he fell to his knees, panting and looking at his shaky right hand. Panting heavily, the koopa grabbed the chunk of graphite stuck in his hand and slowly pulled it out, ignoring all the blood.

"Get up," growled Lemmy.

Kirzvolitken snarled before he picked up his knife with his right hand. The two reptiles stared at each other before the pale koopa roared and ran towards Lemmy again.

* * *

Mario sprinted as he ran in a circle, a trail of flames following him. Sharktail was exhaling his fire breath and spinning around in a circle, trying to set all four heroes on fire. Geno ran underneath the dragon's hide and shot several stars at the reptile's throat. Sharktail immediately stopped and coughed up some smoke. While he was doing that, the heroes began to attack. Luigi and Mario grunted as they fired several fireballs out both hands. They weren't gonna underestimate Sharktail, especially after the fierce beating they got from his late cousin. The dragon snorted and shook his head, just moments before Kooper jumped up and kicked the dragon in his large snout. Sharktail roared and tried to chomp on Kooper's head, but Geno shoved him out the way just in time. Luigi continued to pelt the dragon with green fireballs while Mario decided to put his hammer to work. He bashed the dragon on his left front foot, causing Sharktail to shout and lift his foot in pain. Meanwhile, Geno instructed Kooper to hide in his shell. After he did, the doll picked up the reptile's shell and kicked him hard. Kooper was sent flying, and he hit Sharktail right in his left eye.

Sharktail wasn't gonna give up so easily. He was just as strong as his other cousins, and since the dragon knew both poison _and_ fire breath, he had a better advantage. Sharktail gathered up a lot of poison breath deep within his body and lifted his head high. He opened his mouth and exhaled loudly. Everyone watched in horror as the dragon's nasty breath began to cover the entire ceiling. It got thicker and thicker, and was slowly beginning to descend towards the ground.

"Holy (censored). How are we supposed to block…"

Kooper stopped talking. He glanced over at the Mario Bros. and noticed they were wearing gasmasks. And since Geno didn't have a real nose, he had nothing to worry about. Kooper was gonna be the only one who suffered.

"AW, COME ON! WHERE THE (CENSORED) IS MY GAS…"

The blue-shelled koopa stopped talking when the gas finally reached the ground. The entire cave became cloudy, fogged with the black dragon's smelly, toxic breath. Kooper covered his eyes, but it was no use. The thick gas crept into his eyes, nose and mouth, causing him to fall to his hands and knees and cough. Kooper shook his head and grabbed his throat, trying to breathe properly in the hazy cave. But the poison breath was too strong.

"I hate you guys," he managed to say.

Mario, Luigi and Geno continued the fight. Luigi used his super jumping skills to jump into the air and uppercut the dragon right in the jaw. Sharktail retaliated by lunging his head down and snapping at Luigi. Geno fired more stars at the winged reptile before Sharktail could open his mouth and breathe more fire breath on the subdued plumber. Mario approached Sharktail's backside, hammer in hand. He ran right underneath the dragon and looked up, noticing the base of Sharktail's tail. Mario jumped up and shouted as he swung his hammer and hit the dragon in a very sensitive area. Sharktail's eyes grew wide after getting hit in-between his hind legs, and he hopped into the air and roared in pain. The poison breath was slowly beginning to dissipate. Kooper was still having trouble breathing, but at least he could see well enough to attack. He sprinted towards the dragon before he jumped onto the dragon's nose and hid in his shell. The hurt dragon stared at the blue-shelled koopa and watched as he suddenly spun around and created a small tornado around his shell. Then Kooper zoomed forward and hit Gloomtail in-between the eyes. In addition to damaging the reptile, he also made the black dragon dizzy. Kooper got out of his shell and hopped off the reptile's large nose.

The normally belligerent dragon was now moaning as his eyes filled with swirls. The dragon staggered and swayed, lazily moving around the cave. He bumped into all of the walls, causing some of the stalactites to fall and land on his back. The heroes didn't bother giving Sharktail time to recover and continued to assault the poisonous dragon. Luigi used his super jumping skills to whack the dragon in his jaw again. Geno and Mario worked on assaulting the dragon's midriff; Geno slid underneath the beast and fired huge bullets from his shoulder at Sharktail's gut. Mario jumped up and slammed his hammer into the beast as well, hitting him just below the throat. As Sharktail howled in pain, Kooper got back into his shell and started to spin around quite fast. Everyone could see that his shell was igniting and the flames were getting higher and higher. Geno, Luigi and Mario all moved out the way as Kooper zoomed forward. His fiery shell singed the dragon's underbelly and practically set his left feet on fire. The dragon howled in pain and began to hop around comically. He actually rolled onto his back and started to blow on his poor feet, hoping that his breath would cool them off.

No longer dizzy, Sharktail snarled, rolled back over, and began to attack. Luigi and Mario rolled out the way when Sharktail stopped down on the ground hard, nearly pinning the two brothers to the ground. He snarled and jerked his tail to the right, hitting Kooper dead in his face. The koopa shouted as he went flying and his head smacked against a large boulder. Luigi, not paying attention to where he was running, tripped over a stalagmite and fell flat on his face. Before the skinny plumber could get back up, the dragon lifted his right front foot and pinned Luigi to the ground. Luigi shouted, eyes growing wide as he felt an overwhelming amount of pressure in his entire body. His face began to turn red as Sharktail slowly pressed down harder and harder, determined to break every bone in the plumber's body. Mario and Geno rushed over to him, but Sharktail was no fool. The minute he saw them sprinting towards him, Sharktail opened his mouth wide and blew a large stream of fire breath at the two heroes. Both of them were blasted backwards by the flames, their bodies singed with the fiery power. Knowing Kooper was still behind him, the dragon decided to use another secret power that he inadvertently learned from Bowser. Kooper shook his head and stood up, smacking his right hand against his head so small rocks would fall out his left earhole. He turned around and noticed Sharktail's tail was raised, and the dragon's gut was churning.

"You are _not_ about to do that," said Kooper with disbelief.

But Sharktail merely grinned. Seconds later, the cave was filled with a juvenile sputtering sound as flames shout out the dragon's rear end. Kooper was blasted to the wall, buried in fire and flatulence. The farting stopped about five seconds later, but Kooper couldn't attack. The fire had damaged his shell and the smell was burning his eyes, making it hard for him to see again. He fell to his knees, coughing and hacking as he tried to get the smell out his olfaction. Luigi squealed when Sharktail pressed down even harder. The dragon laughed evilly and licked his lips before he lifted his foot. Luigi gasped when the dragon let him go, but screamed again when the dragon leaned down and chomped on his neck. He lifted the plumber off the ground, his head buried within Sharktail's mouth. The skinny plumber whimpered and thrashed around as he tried to get free. The dank, slobbery maw and the dragon's smelly breath were far too much for the plumber to handle. Luigi thought the dragon was about to clamp his mouth shut and take off his head, but Sharktail was doing something much more sinister. Luigi saw a faint reddish glow coming from the back of the winged reptile's throat. He was about to breathe fire, with Luigi's head still in his mouth.

"GUYS!"

Geno and Mario quickly recovered and rushed to go assist a fellow plumber in need. Geno stood beneath Sharktail's throat and cupped his hands together. Mario ran towards Geno and stepped on his hands; the doll subsequently used all his strength to lift Mario into the air. That's when Mario used his super jump punch, and hit the dragon dead in his throat. Sharktail opened his mouth and gagged, and Luigi promptly fell towards the ground, coughing and wiping saliva from his head. Sharktail's plan to roast Luigi alive backfired, and he wound up belching up a large cloud of smoke. The dragon swayed to and fro, coughing up more smoke as the black clouds spewed out his nostrils and mouth. Sharktail shook his head and coughed up the last bit of smoke, just in time for the four heroes to attack simultaneously. Kooper, furious he just got farted on, bit the dragon on his tail hard, almost causing him to bleed. Sharktail opened his mouth and yowled, just moments before Luigi and Mario assaulted the dragon with another barrage of fireballs. The dragon grunted and winced as the flames hit him in the nose, throat, feet, and stomach. Suddenly, Geno decided to try a special move other than his infamous "Geno Whirl."

"GENO BEAM!"

The reptile was still trying to recover from the other attacks when Geno stuck out his right arm that seemed to be in the shape of some kind of wand. His right arm began to flicker brightly with colors, and then next thing Sharktail knew, he was sent flying towards the cave's wall with a large bluish beam driving into his abdomen. The dragon roared with agony as the beam burned his scales, almost putting a hole in his chest. After growling and roaring for so long, the beam let up, and the dragon slid towards the ground, heavily wounded. The dragon groaned softly as he slowly got back to his feet. He opened his eyes and noticed that the heroes were charging straight towards him. Knowing he couldn't die without at least avenging his cousin's death, Sharktail found a new wave of energy within himself and growled. He opened his mouth quickly and exhaled for several seconds, releasing a huge, greenish-colored cloud of poison breath from his body. The Mario Bros. were running too fast and were too caught up in the moment to put on their gasmasks. All four heroes were blinded and caught up in the stench, and all but Geno wound up falling to their knees and coughing. The doll shielded his face as the poison breath slowly caused his body to slide backwards, but eventually the gas cleared. Geno began to run towards the dragon…who had his back turned and his tail raised.

"Oh, sh—"

Geno, as well as the other three heroes shouted and squealed as their bodies were hurled towards the wall by Sharktail's fiery fart. The dragon grunted fiercely, making sure he pushed out enough methane so his gaseous attack would severely hurt the heroes. Even after they hit the wall, they could feel the flames burning against their skin (or in Geno's case, his wooden body). The four heroes had to suffer for nearly ten seconds before Sharktail stopped, his cloaca burning from all the fiery flatulence he released. The dragon breathed heavily and shook his tail, trying to find some way to cool off his posterior. Sharktail turned around and approached the heroes. All of them were charred and coughing violently. Some of them were fanning a hand in front of their noses while others were simply wiping their eyes. Sharktail, being more closely related to Gloomtail than Hooktail, had learned his cousin's special, deadly move too. The dragon charged himself up, grunting and growling as he mustered more power and slowly became stronger and stronger. Then, he finally attacked.

"MEGABREATH!"

Everyone glanced up at the poisonous dragon with wide eyes. It was too late for either of them to do anything. The dragon veered his head backwards and released a huge cloud of yellowish gas onto the heroes. All of them screamed as the thick, poisonous gas slammed into their bodies. The heroes' eyes began to burn (with Geno being the only exception) and they all fell to the ground, coughing and retching as the toxic fumes made them completely disoriented. Before any of the heroes could recover, Sharktail lifted his head high, opened his mouth again, and exhaled loudly as he released a large cloud of green poison breath. The dragon's thick breath covered the entire ceiling, and it wasn't long before the gas slowly began to descend down onto the floor. Mario and Luigi, despite how much pain they were in, managed to dig into their overalls and put their gasmasks back on. Kooper had no other option, so he just hid in his shell. Geno, thankfully, came to everyone's rescue. He had several power-ups along with him, just enough to get his friends back to normal. Geno took out a yummy meal and shoved it into Kooper's shell. The koopa, although cramped, started to scarf the meal down inside his shell. At the same time, Geno handed the Mario Bros. a shroom steak each. They slid off their gasmasks for a few seconds so they could hastily eat their meals, and afterwards felt another burst of energy build up in their systems. The heroes stood up and began to attack Sharktail.

Just as the heroes began to search for Sharktail in the thick cloud of poison gas, the dragon appeared and chomped on Geno, taking away another fraction of his health. The dragon suddenly disappeared in the giant cloud of gas and jumped into the air, unbeknown to the protagonists. Suddenly, he stomped on the ground and performed his earthquake move, injuring Mario and the gang with the strong tremors. The poison breath was slowly beginning to dissipate, so Kooper was able to attack once again. He launched himself at Sharktail's right foot before Luigi jumped onto the dragon's snout. The skinny plumber charged towards Sharktail's right eye and promptly tossed a fireball right into the cornea. The dragon roared ferociously and thrashed about, shaking the plumber from his face. Seemingly blind in one eye, the dragon didn't stop howling and roaring with pain. He was thrashing his body around so much that the cave was slowly beginning to collapse. The gang noticed that stalactites were falling and nearly hitting them. Sharktail wound up getting clocked on his big nose with two stalactites and several medium-sized rocks. The dragon realized what was going on and stopped thrashing so much. However, the gang was still attacking him with full force.

Mario slammed his huge hammer against Sharktail's left hind leg before running over and striking his right front leg. Something actually cracked, and the dragon found himself yowling again. Geno blasted more stars at the dragon, and Luigi instructed Kooper to hide in his shell. After he did, the plumber picked up Kooper and kicked him at Sharktail like he was a soccer ball. The blue shell smashed against Sharktail's head, leaving a noticeable red lump on his cranium. Sharktail was still in pain, but he ignored it. He growled gutturally and began to charge himself up, ready to use his megabreath attack.

"MEGA—ACK!"

Mario quickly shut up the dragon by launching a fireball into his mouth. The reptile, unprepared for such an abrupt attack, lost his focus. Instead of exhaling a giant yellow cloud of rank breath, he wound up burping and coughing up the yellow gases. Some of it was even coming out his snout; Mario and the other heroes could tell that his plan backfired horrendously. Seeing no other option, Sharktail slowly turned around (while still coughing out gas) and pointed his large rump at the gang. But by now everyone was smart enough to know what Sharktail's attacks were, and how to evade them.

"Hmph. I already know this routine," muttered Geno.

The star spirit trapped in a doll rushed over and fired bullets out of his elbow at Sharktail's posterior. Some of the bullets bounced off his behind, while a few others got plugged inside his hole. Everyone rolled out the way as Sharktail began to pass gas, but due to the bullets, the fire was plugged inside Sharktail's rectum. The four heroes grimaced when they saw Sharktail's bottom bulge outwards, but realized no fire was coming out. The gas and flames were still simmering in the dragon's anus, causing him a great deal of pain. The dragon's eyes grew wide and he roared in agony before finally pushing the bullets out. His gigantic fart soared all over the cave, but Mario and his friends were smart enough to stand far away from the dragon's rump. They all watched with plugged noses as the giant flames spread everywhere; they were just lucky nothing caught on fire. Sharktail whined and moaned as he felt smoke and steam rising out of his backside, not to mention more gas. Still, he was determined to take out Mario and the gang, and weakly continued his assault. He tried to chomp on Kooper twice, but the koopa rolled out of the way. He tried to swing his giant tail at Mario and Geno, but they managed to duck the tail swipe with ease.

The dragon turned around again and slowly began to open his burned eye. Suddenly, Kooper jumped onto the dragon's nose, hid in his shell, and promptly launched himself right at the eye, wounding it again. Sharktail had just enough time to yowl for a couple of seconds before several stalactites came plummeting down from the ceiling. All of the giant pointed rocks landed on the dragon's head and nose, causing him to grunt and groan as his head was slowly buried beneath the rubble. The four heroes waited, suspecting that the dragon wasn't dead just yet. The pile of rocks shook suddenly, and a few tiny boulders rolled down and cracked on the ground. Then Sharktail shouted with frustration and emerged from the rubble, panting heavily. The heroes noticed the giant lump on Sharktail's forehead had worsened and was bleeding. Blood was dripping from the dragon's mouth, and a thin trail of crimson was slithering down the side of the dragon's face. He took two steps towards the protagonists before he started to pant heavily, unable to continue. Sharktail's legs began to shake, and the reptile wound up groaning and collapsing onto his abdomen. He stared at the heroes as they approached him and growled. The dragon pathetically opened his mouth and burped at his opponents, surrounding them in a weak cloud of poison breath that dissipated in only a couple seconds.

"Wow, really? That's all ya got for us?" asked Kooper.

"Give it up, Sharktail. The sooner you stop fighting us, the sooner all your pain stops," advised Geno.

Sharktail snorted. "No…no…y-you don't get to live…with what you've done." The dragon stopped so he could cough up more blood. "I will avenge my cousin, even if it's the death of me!"

"What for? So you can spend the rest of your life locked away in this cave? So that monster you're working for can stab you in the back?" said Mario.

Sharktail coughed. "Shut up! Trowzer was the one—"

"Trowzer says a lot of things. It's all a pile of koopa dung. He told you that one day we'd eventually show up in here, right? He told you to just sit here in this small cave and wait patiently?"

Sharktail nodded, and Mario scoffed.

"That's my point. Trowzer doesn't need you; he doesn't care about you. You said it yourself: even the _readers_ forgot who you were. No dragon of your caliber should be treated that way, cast aside for only one reason."

"Don't you get it?" added Luigi. "Trowzer only needs you alive so you can kill us. After that he's either gonna kill you or keep you locked up in this small-ass cave. What's the point in killing us if you're gonna end up dead anyway?"

Sharktail lowered his head and growled deeply. The gang had a feeling the dragon would still kill them regardless just to settle the score, so Kooper chimed in.

"And who's to say Trowzer won't kill Hooktail, your other cousin?"

Sharktail's eyes grew wide. "What!"

The koopa nodded. "If you kill us, then Trowzer will congratulate you, make up some bull(censored) excuse saying you 'failed him' somehow, and then slit your throat. I've seen it for myself. And if that happens, who's gonna protect your dear old cousin, Hooktail?"

Sharktail stared at the heroes with horror, realizing that he was working for a guy who could very well be the death of his entire family. He already lost Gloomtail; he didn't know what'd happen if he lost Hooktail too.

"…What do we do then?"

"You team up with us," started Mario. "You can help us take down Trowzer; we'll do it together."

"And then what?"

Luigi shrugged. "You and your cousin fly away somewhere and stop threatening to eat koopas."

Sharktail pondered for a moment before he growled again and blinked. Then he slowly stepped towards Mario and lowered his head, his nose just a few inches away from the plumber. Mario was so close to the dragon's mouth that he could smell his fetid breath when he began to speak.

"Well…I suppose I could…"

Geno stared closely at the dragon. He stepped even closer to Mario and his left eye twinkled. The doll noticed a small grin showing on the dragon's face, and it slowly grew wider and wider. It was a trick.

"GENO WHIRL!"

Sharktail was just about to open his mouth when the spinning disk was launched at his body. The disk spun around and went right through the dragon's chest, coming out his back and leaving a giant hole someone could stand in. Sharktail immediately roared in pain and thrashed around, bleeding heavily from his wound. Everyone backed away as the dragon managed to stand on his hind legs, spluttering and coughing as he looked down at the heroes. He let out a low growl that sounded like a death rattle and promptly fell backwards. The entire cave shook as the dragon landed on his back, causing more rocks to fall. Mario, Luigi and Kooper panted when the rocks stopped falling and stared at the doll.

"What the hell, Geno? !" shouted Mario.

Geno blinked. "So you didn't see it."

"See what? ! He was about to help us on our quest to take down Trowzer!" said Luigi.

"I killed Sharktail for two reasons: the first is so the readers don't have to worry about another epic, but seemingly pointless subplot that centered on Sharktail that this fanfic doesn't need—"

"What readers? !" shouted Kooper.

Geno ignored him. "The second reason why I killed him was because he was about to kill you, Mario. Didn't you notice him walking close towards you?"

"So what if he was?"

"Didn't you also see that little twinkle in his eye? Didn't you see him grinning? He was about to bite you in half, Mario. Maybe you guys didn't see it, but I did."

Mario's eyes grew wide. "…Really?"

"You can't know that for sure! Even if—"

"Luigi, even if he didn't kill Mario here and now, he would've killed us the second we defeated Trowzer. Hell, if I were him, I'd kill all of us right now, and then try to take on Trowzer myself, thinking I don't need our help. Do you guys seriously think Sharktail would've let this go: us—sans Kooper—killing Gloomtail?"

Mario scratched the back of his head. "…I did wonder why he suddenly stepped so close to me…and I was pretty damn close to his mouth. I suppose you're right. Thanks, Geno."

The doll nodded. "Now, if we can just figure out a way to get out of—"

Suddenly, Sharktail's gut began to churn. The gang rushed over to the dragon's abdomen and noticed a large bulge rushing up his neck. The dragon's carcass twitched involuntarily, and his mouth opened. A small treasure chest spewed out of the dead dragon's maw. Luigi exhaled.

"Thank God. I thought it was gonna come out the back door again."

Everyone went over to the chest and promptly opened it. Not surprisingly, there was a key inside, one that would open the locked door that led into the cave.

"Now we can get out of here. With any luck, this is the last room in Trowzer's torture chamber," said Mario.

"I sure hope so," muttered Kooper.

* * *

Lemmy groaned as he was kicked over the table. He landed on the floor with a loud thud and moaned as he rolled over. Kirzvolitken panted as he rushed over to the koopaling and kicked him in the mouth, busting his lips. The koopaling quickly rolled over again before getting to his feet and staggering. The Eastern European koopa lunged at him again, only to miss when Lemmy side-stepped him and bit him on the hand. The shady koopa shouted and dropped the knife. Lemmy elbowed the koopa in the mouth and threw himself at the knife. Kirzy snarled as he charged towards the koopaling, then shouted and jerked his body to the left when Lemmy threw the knife at him, almost hitting him just below the right eye. Kirzy ignored his near-death experience and tackled Lemmy like a football player, sending him to the floor. Still pinning him down, the shady koopa growled and grunted as he slammed his fist into Lemmy's face over and over again. He gave Lemmy a black-eye, a bloody nose, and busted up his lip even further. After being punched well over ten times, Lemmy finally grabbed one of Kirzy's fists and blocked it. Then he jabbed the pale-skinned koopa in the jaw and rolled over. Now he was on top of the shady koopa.

Lemmy did exactly what Kirzy just did, only the koopaling punched the shady koopa with much more force. Kirzy's face was already a mess ever since the fight started; now Lemmy was just making everything worse. The koopaling stopped hitting his opponent after he noticed his knuckles were red and nearly bleeding. Kirzy used the brief moment of hesitation to grab a few shards of glass and chuck them at Lemmy's face. The koopaling yowled and covered his face, just moments before Kirzvolitken kicked him off. Panting, the shady koopa headed over to the wall the knife was stuck in. Lemmy rolled around on the floor in pain before he slowly opened his eyes and saw where the shady koopa was headed. Grabbing the nearest thing he could find—a thick hard-cover book—Lemmy shouted and assaulted the koopa. He bashed him over the head with the heavy book, sending him toppling to the floor. Moments later, the koopa rolled over and grabbed a brass candlestick. He swung the weapon at Lemmy twice before the koopaling used his book to slap the weapon out of Kirzy's hand. Then he promptly stomped on the Eastern European shady koopa's foot, making him yowl for a brief moment. Lemmy snarled and pressed the book horizontally at the shady koopa's throat before pinning him to the wall.

Lemmy jerked the book back and slammed it into Kirzy's throat twice. The shady koopa heard something crack and let out a strangled cough. Lemmy discarded the book and punched the shady koopa across the face twice, sending him to the floor. Kirzvolitken, no longer taking any chances, coughed and got back up. He ran straight for the knife and took it out the wall. He was sure his windpipe had been damaged; it was a miracle he wasn't already dead. Any longer, and the wound would worsen. Kirzy decided to end this here and now. He lunged at Lemmy with the knife, and the koopaling quickly grabbed the shady koopa's arm. Lemmy struggled as he tried to draw the knife away from his throat. The shady koopa gritted his teeth and grunted as he tried to stab the koopaling in the face. Both of them were pushed against the wall, and the shady koopa and koopaling were staring each other dead in the eyes. Lemmy realized the blade point was getting closer to his throat. He was gonna die unless he did something, and fast. Thinking quickly, Lemmy used one of his hands to damage Kirzy's left eye. The mischievous koopaling inserted his thumb deep into Kirzy's eye socket and began to push.

Lemmy didn't have to push hard. It wasn't long before Kirzy found himself shouting and screaming in pain. His grip on the knife loosened, and it slowly began to drop. Lemmy quickly caught the knife and removed his thumb. Kirzvolitken could see what had just happened and shouted with desperation. He tried to snatch the knife from Lemmy's hands, but the koopaling was quicker. He planted the knife deep into Kirzy's throat, rupturing the Adam's apple and windpipe. Kirzy's eyes grew wide as he stared at his opponent. Lemmy panted heavily as he stared back at Kirzy before he roared furiously and pinned him against the wall on the other side of the room. Lemmy planted the knife deeper into his throat and watched as Kirzy coughed up blood in his face. He didn't care. He just stood and watched as the Eastern European clutched the knife in some pathetic attempt to try and remove it. Kirzvolitken spluttered and coughed as he slowly slid towards the floor, a puddle of blood sitting at his feet. Lemmy let go of the bloody knife and watched as the shady koopa slouched over and let out a gurgled groan. He spent a few more seconds gurgling on his own blood before he suddenly sighed peacefully and went silent. Just to be sure he didn't get back up, Lemmy stared at the corpse for another minute before he realized that he was dead.

The koopaling wasn't sure how he felt; he had never killed anyone in such a violent fashion before. Sadness, anger, shock, fear—all these emotions were clouding the koopaling's mind. He sat down beside a broken table and began to shake. He didn't say anything or try to patch his wounds. He just didn't know what to do. At least, not until Trowzer kicked open the locked door. Lemmy quickly got to his feet and stared at his half-uncle, and the dark koopa standing at his side. With all the noise Lemmy and Kirzy were making, it was only a matter of time before someone came barging in. Trowzer was noticeably shocked at the state Lemmy and his room was in. When he stepped inside, he glanced over towards the wall and saw Kirzvolitken's corpse. He growled gutturally and glanced back over at Lemmy, expecting an explanation.

"I-I-I-I was…" Lemmy was still in shock. He couldn't find the right words.

"You were what?" growled Trowzer.

The only way he could get out this situation alive was if he told the truth. All he had to do was leave out the part where he discovered Trowzer's files.

"I was…I was gonna play a prank on you, Uncle Trowzer. But…it backfired—that's why there's a bucket on the floor, and all that slop. I was…thinking of another way to get back at you, frustrated that I keep failing. Suddenly, that-that dead guy…over there—uh, he-he snuck into your room and tried to kill me…"

Lemmy noticed his voice was cracking and tears were forming in his eyes. He stopped talking and quickly blinked them away.

"Um…he put a knife to my throat, but I fought him off. …Guess I don't need to tell you who won."

Trowzer stared at the shaky koopaling for a moment, trying to see if he was lying. But Lemmy was shaking and stuttering from shock, not because he was scared of what Trowzer would do if he told a lie. The burly koopa slowly walked over to Lemmy and looked down at him. Surprisingly, he wound up wrapping his large arms around the koopaling. He hugged the short reptile tight, pretending to act like he cared about his safety. Lemmy couldn't hug Trowzer back. He wound up letting out a tiny sob, gritting his teeth as tears finally rolled down his cheek. After everything he just went through, Trowzer was standing there acting like he really gave a damn.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Lemmy."

Lemmy didn't say anything back. He let out another sob, but he didn't dare cry out loud in his half-uncle's arms, nor did he hug him back. After the "tender" moment, Trowzer let Lemmy go. He smiled and wiped his nephew's tears away before he started talking again.

"…This is my fault. We, uh…lately we've been having some suspicions about some of the people in our league. I was beginning to suspect Kirzvolitken was planning to betray me, perhaps even harm my half-brother or one of his children. Guess I finally got my answer."

Now Lemmy was pissed. He didn't even try to hide it. The koopaling shoved Trowzer away; his half-uncle's lies never stopped.

"Why the hell didn't you tell anyone then? !"

Trowzer looked embarrassed. "We didn't have any proof. And, let's face it…if I had told your father, he wouldn't have helped me. He would've just gloated about how stupid I am for not noticing that one of my own men became a turncoat. …I was embarrassed."

Lemmy was still angry, but he bottled it all inside. Lemmy knew this was all a rather convincing lie, but he didn't want to accidentally inform Trowzer that he knew about the koopa's dastardly deeds. The koopaling kept his mouth shut. Trowzer suddenly chuckled.

"But it looks like you took care of him, so you guys got nothing to worry about now. I would, however, appreciate it if you didn't mention this to your father. …Let's keep this between us, shall we? Shannon and I and some of my guards will clean up this mess."

Lemmy nodded slowly. "Whatever you say, Uncle Trowzer."

Trowzer smiled widely and patted Lemmy on the head. "Good! Now go get yourself cleaned up."

The koopaling nodded again before he brushed past Trowzer and started to walk out the room.

"Oh, Lemmy? Have you seen Ludwig lately?"

Lemmy slowly turned around and shook his head. "No."

Trowzer scratched his chin and stepped towards Lemmy. "That's strange. I could've sworn I saw him the other day. He's been gone for quite a while. I sure do hope nothing's happened to him."

There it was. That was the Trowzer he knew and "loved." As the giant koopa finished his sentence, Lemmy saw a sly grin appear on the koopa's face. It was subtle, but Lemmy could definitely see it. Lemmy growled in his throat, too furious to open his mouth. He knew he'd end up saying the wrong thing.

"Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him too, now would we?"

The grin spread even wider; Trowzer wasn't hiding it now. Lemmy struggled not to open his mouth and simply shook his head. Trowzer patted Lemmy on the head again and chuckled.

"Anyway, go get yourself patched up. I'll take care of this mess."

Lemmy practically sprinted away from Trowzer; he was so angry. Lemmy didn't even care about patching up his wounds anymore. Ludwig was in danger, possibly already dead. His whole family was in jeopardy of that madkoopa. Lemmy needed to stop this. He needed to find Ludwig, protect his family and figure out a way to stop his half-uncle.

Somehow, someway, this madness needed to end.


	38. The Ultimatum

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Trowzer finds a way to get Dix to keep quiet; Bowser tells one of his troops to take personal care of Peach; Lemmy, having no other option, decides to leave and go look for Ludwig; Mario and the gang have to choose which is more important: saving Princess Peach, or saving Yoshi's Island.

**The Ultimatum**

**A/N: This chapter contains a scene of High Octane Nightmare Fuel. You've been warned.**

Bowser was busy rubbing his chin, sitting in his chair while one of his koopatrol guards tended to his feet. The koopa king couldn't understand what he was feeling. His half-brother had done everything he wanted: he captured Mario and his brother, he had an army of bloodthirsty guards who did his deed without question, he could come up with a plan in only a matter of seconds, but most importantly, Trowzer's guards were smart. They knew how to attack, how to defend, what to search for—some of them were just as smart as, possibly even smarter than Trowzer himself. But Bowser only had a bunch of bumbling idiots at his side, and a bunch of kids who cared more about who ate the last piece of bologna than about their castles and fortress and territory. The only upside was that many of Bowser's troops were loyal to him—at least, those who hadn't already joined Trowzer's crew. And at the very least, some of his troops didn't mind doing disgusting tasks for him, such as the koopa resting in front of Bowser rubbing his smelly feet.

"So, uh, Your Nastiness, how long before we get back to takin' over the Mushroom Kingdom and whatnot?"

Bowser ignored the koopatrol and kept rubbing his chin. "…How'd he do it? All this planning and plotting—how did he do all this in only a few weeks? I've spent all this time preparing and-and gathering up all these villains and for what? ! For my brother to come along and take it all away from me?"

The koopatrol sniffed Bowser's feet a few times before he held them up to his face. He smiled and slowly began to rub his left cheek against the soles.

"Don't worry, Your Smelliness! At least you still have a wonderful pair of feet. Mm…such nice, smelly, smooth feet…"

Bowser still ignored him. After rubbing his chin, the koopa started to grin to himself. He chuckled evilly as his smile grew wider and wider.

"No, not this time. He's not gonna take away everything I've spent the last few months trying to do! Fine, fine, so I don't get to take out Mario myself. But that's fine, because my army's still bigger! I still have a bigger crew, bigger agendas—there's no reason why I can't take over this kingdom first! His gang may have Yoshi's Island but…what are you doing? !"

The koopatrol tending to Bowser's rancid feet was busy licking the soles. He stopped abruptly and looked up at Bowser.

"Uh…there was a fly on your foot."

"A fly?"

"A fly."

"So you use your tongue to get it off? !"

Jerry put his tongue back in his mouth. "Uh, yeah! You-you uh, stepped in something—"

"And you used your _tongue_ to get it off?"

"I—you—uh, see, that—you were the one who drank out of the toilet once!"

"That doesn't count; I dropped a pretzel in there and was trying to get it out. Since when do koopas eat flies?"

"Since they, um…made them chocolate flavored!"

Bowser's eyes grew wide. "They have that?"

"Yeah! It's um, it's like chocolate bunnies…yeah. And one of those…chocolate flies was stuck to your foot, so I licked it off."

Bowser laughed heartily. "Amazing what people will think of these days!"

Jerry laughed nervously before he glanced over at the other foot. Despite how much he longed to lick the smelly sole, he kept his tongue in his mouth and paid more attention to Bowser.

"So about this plan of yours?"

Bowser smirked. "My next master plan doesn't involve you whatsoever."

Jerry frowned. "It doesn't?"

"No! Since you've been so…entestibastic—"

"Enthusiastic," corrected Jerry.

"Shut up. Since you've always been there whenever I needed my feet rubbed or scratched…or in this case licked, I've decided to promote you!"

Jerry wagged his tail happily. "Is that so? What am I gonna be doing now?"

"Taking care of Princess Peach!"

The koopatrol's tail went limp. "…You're serious."

"Last time I checked, standing in front of a door is much better than rubbing my feet. Are you seriously gonna stand there and bitch about this?"

"Depends. Are you gonna punch me in the eye if I do?"

"Yes."

"Then no."

"Look, I know this is an odd promotion, but should anything happen to me…I want you to take care of her. Can you do that for me?"

"Sure, Your Royalness. But why the sudden change in heart? When you first captured Peach she was the one who was rubbing your feet. Now I'm doing it and you barely even insult her."

"Did I ask you to horn in on my personal life? !"

Jerry sighed. "No, Your…Bigness. I'll get to my new post right away."

* * *

Dix was busy walking down the corridor when a dark koopa snuck behind him and greeted him.

"Hey, Dix."

The wingless paratroopa shouted and jumped, moving away from the purple-shelled koopa.

"What? ! Why the hell are people sneakin' up on me and staring at me when I pee?"

The dark koopa raised an eyebrow before he ignored the second comment and continued to speak. "Trowzer needs to see you for a moment."

"What for?"

"Why don't you go ask him? He's in the torture chamber right now."

Dix could see where this was going. "Uh, you know, perhaps I'll meet Trowzer—"

Dix grunted when the dark koopa grabbed Dix's shoulders and began to roughly walk him over to the torture chamber.

"This can't wait, Dix. Trowzer wants to see you as soon as possible. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

Dix laughed nervously. "No! No, of course not."

The dark koopa led Dix all the way over to the torture chamber. Dix tried his best not to sweat or pant; he knew he couldn't appear nervous or else Trowzer's troops would suspect something was wrong. So he casually walked beside the dark koopa until he reached the chamber and opened the door. The second he stepped inside, he was filled with horror. There was another koopa troopa—an old friend of his—who was lying on a table, naked, his hands and feet tied to each corner post of said table. There was a gag in his mouth, and the koopa was perspiring. Shannon, Trowzer, and a couple of other troops were standing inside as well.

"Oh, hey Dix! You're just in time for my demonstration!"

Dix started to pant now as he stared at his friend. He glanced up at Trowzer and saw him grinning and holding a shiny, small scalpel.

"Whuh…Trowzer, what the (censored) are you doing? !"

Trowzer twirled his scalpel a couple times. "Nothing! I'm just doing a little experiment with a certain traitor of ours here. You see, your friend Simon has been looking into things he shouldn't, asking the wrong questions and overall, he's been doing a few things that could ultimately ruin all of my master plans."

"Trowzer, I-I was just asking—"

"Relax, Dix. You're not in trouble. Just stand still and enjoy the demonstration."

"Have you seen videos of autopsies, Dix?" asked Shannon.

Dix's eyes grew wide. "What!"

Trowzer snickered. "Our 'friend' Simon here has volunteered to participate in an autopsy on a live koopa. I'm not exactly a professor when it comes to this, but I'm sure I got the basics down. Now, the first thing you gotta do…are you paying attention, Dix?"

The wingless paratroopa was whimpering and trying to pull the door open. The dark koopa who brought him inside locked it. Trowzer noticed Dix's sign of struggle as confirmation and grinned.

"Good! Now, the first thing we gotta do is cut the flesh from the underarm diagonally down to the center of his chest, like so…"

The dark koopa standing beside Dix made sure the wingless paratroopa kept his eyes open. Dix could only whimper as Trowzer placed the thin blade against Simon's underarm. The large koopa gradually began to cut down Simon's right breast, smiling nonchalantly the whole time as the blade eventually reached the chest. Simon thrashed around and screamed with the gag still in his mouth, but there was nothing he could do. Blood began to run down his chest as the koopa was put through an unbearable amount of pain. Trowzer kept smiling before he removed the scalpel and began to run the blade down Dix's left armpit. Still screaming, Simon jerked his head around and strained as he yanked on the ropes bound to his wrists. Trowzer was nearly done slicing down Simon's left breast when the koopa sighed with exasperation.

"You're gonna have to stop moving. Wouldn't want to cut an artery, now would we?"

"You're cutting through the guy's flesh! Of course you already—"

"Dix, please. I'm trying to give a demonstration. Anyways, next we have to cut him from his chest all the way down to his groin."

Trowzer ignored Simon's screams and slowly began to run the blade down Simon's chest cavity. He clutched the scalpel tightly and with one hand, making sure he cut against the bone. Blood spewed out of the koopa's chest and spilled all over the place. Some of it even started to spill onto the table; Dix was unsure of how much blood the unfortunate koopa had lost. It was amazing he was still alive. Simon shrieked and thrashed around repeatedly, desperate to get free. But once Trowzer reached the koopa's groin, his screaming began to die down and his eyes started to droop. More blood oozed or squirted out of the live koopa's body. Some of it even got on Trowzer's face, and he made no attempt at wiping it off. Knowing that he didn't cut through all the meat, Trowzer ran his blade along the incisions he made four more times, just to make sure he could peel all the flesh and skin apart.

"Okay. Now all you gotta do is peel the flaps of skin backwards so the chest cavity and ribs are fully exposed."

Dix covered his mouth with his right arm and retched, almost feeling vomit coming up his throat. Trowzer peeled the flaps of skin and flesh away with little effort, exposing the crimson chest. Simon wasn't moving anymore; he either died from shock or passed out.

"OKAY, OKAY! I get your (censored) point! Will you just let me go now? !"

Trowzer blinked. "I can't do that. You'll miss out on the rest of the show; I've only just begun. As sharp as this scalpel is, it can't cut through bone, so it's meaningless now."

The koopa tossed the tiny medical instrument on the floor. Dix briefly sighed with relief, glad that Trowzer wouldn't be carving up Simon with the scalpel. Suddenly, Trowzer grunted and bent down, fishing something sinister out of a nearby box. Dix whimpered again when he saw the instrument.

"Luckily, I brought a small buzzsaw with me."

Dix started to gag and retch again when Trowzer started up the circular saw. It made a loud, eerie buzzing sound just moments before Trowzer lowered it against Simon's chest. Then he started to cut through the bone…

* * *

The dark koopa shoved Dix outside the torture chamber. The wingless paratroopa's face was covered in tears. He just barely managed to keep all his vomit inside right when Trowzer finished removing some of the organs. The troops all left the chamber in a seemingly unfazed fashion, as though they had spent years doing what Trowzer just did to the unfortunate koopa and were used to it. Trowzer himself walked out of the chamber and stood behind Dix, his face laden with blood. He stared at the sniffling koopa for a moment before he finally spoke.

"Get up."

Dix remained on the floor for another moment, sniffling as a few more tears ran down his face. Eventually, he managed to get to his feet. The koopa wiped some of the tears away before he turned around and looked up at Trowzer. He wasn't smiling or acting casual anymore, and the blood all over his face just made the koopa more menacing.

"You understand why I showed you that operation, yes?"

Dix nodded slowly.

"That's good. I need you to realize that there are some things about me I prefer you didn't know. They say that curiosity killed the cat, but who says _how_ that cat is supposed to die? Why not burn the cat or drown it, maybe bury it alive or cut off its testicles until it bleeds to death? …Or autopsy it while it's still breathing. Do you catch my drift?"

Dix nodded again. "Yes…I understand…"

"Can I trust that you won't speak of what happened here today? Can I trust that you'll stay silent from now on?"

Dix closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "…Yes…"

Trowzer grinned. "Good! Now get yourself cleaned up. We've got a busy day ahead of us soon."

But Dix just stood still, trembling as he sniffled a few more times. He glanced at Trowzer as he walked away, fully aware of the evil he was working for now. Dix never should've switched leagues, and he knew it now. He couldn't stay in Trowzer's crew anymore, not without the risk of getting vivisected alive. And due to Bowser's stubbornness, he couldn't even go back to his old post. The only viable option he had left was to leave, and never come back.

* * *

Lemmy grunted and winced as he walked down the corridor. He had cleaned up most of his face and ate a few meals to bring some of his health back, but he still looked and felt beat up. The koopaling didn't care. He needed to get out of this castle now. And since the koopaling knew he couldn't do this alone, he had to drag someone along with him. After what happened in Trowzer's room, Lemmy didn't trust anyone who wasn't his own blood. So he barged into one of the rooms where the koopalings were sitting down and spotted Morton about to stuff a taco into his mouth. Larry noticed Lemmy as well, and started to howl with laughter.

"Damn! I can see your plan backfired!"

Lemmy didn't say anything. He didn't even get a rubber band out of his shell to fling at Larry. He just walked over to Morton and grabbed him by his left wrist. Morton shouted right when he was about to shove the taco into his mouth.

"Get up."

"Whuh—HEY! I'm trying to eat here!"

Lemmy grabbed the taco and punted it towards the wall, watching as it shattered into hundreds of pieces with a loud crunchy sound.

"NOOOOOO! THAT WAS THE LAST ONE YOU JACKASS!"

"I don't care about you confounded Mexican food! Just come with me now!"

"But—"

"SHUT UP!"

Much to Lemmy's surprise, the big-mouthed koopa kept his mouth shut. This was the first time since Iggy died that Lemmy was being this serious. He knew something had to be wrong with him. So Morton let Lemmy drag him all the way outside into the fiery, volcanic scenery. Once Lemmy knew that they were safely away from Trowzer's troops, more importantly, any forms of life, he pinned Morton against the wall and started to breathe heavily.

"Hey, you mind backing up a bit, bro? All that gunk on your shell smells horrible!"

Lemmy huffed. "Shut up. This has nothing to do with my goddamn prank."

"Then what is it about? …And why are you so beat up? You get in a fight with Junior again?"

At this point, Lemmy figured he may as well just blatantly tell Morton everything he knew. He sighed again before wiping off blood from the side of his head.

"One of Trowzer's troops tried to kill me."

Morton stared at Lemmy before he suddenly frowned. "…You're serious."

Lemmy nodded and shut his eyes. "Trowzer killed Iggy, Morton. He was—"

"WHAT! THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! HOW WOULD—"

Lemmy pinned Morton to the wall and covered his mouth. "Shut the (censored) up, you idiot! You want anyone to hear you?"

Lemmy removed his hand, but Morton kept babbling. "How could he do that if he wasn't even on Iggy's airship? ! Didn't Mario—"

"Will you shut up for one minute so I can explain all of this to you? !"

Morton stared at Lemmy for a moment before he sighed heavily and stopped talking. "I'm listening."

"I was in Trowzer's room about to prank him when I-I found these folders and files saying how Trowzer was plotting to take over Dad's empire, how he was planning on killing several people just to get what he wanted, and Iggy was one of them! He didn't do it directly, no, but that doesn't mean he's not responsible! And he's not the only one! You remember those knock-off TMNT ninjakoopas who used to be in Bowser's league? Did you hear that a while back Yellow died? Or what about Darrik, huh? He disappeared out of nowhere, and when I asked Dad about it, he told me someone told him all they found left in his house was his jaw, Morton! His goddamn _jaw_!"

Morton started to believe Lemmy at first, but considering the koopaling he was talking to, he couldn't take any of this seriously. It was all a prank, and a very crude one at that. "…You're so full of (censored)."

Lemmy blinked. "What—OW!"

Lemmy landed on the ground after getting punched in the nose. Morton stood over his body, breathing heavily and gritting his teeth.

"After all the (censored) that's been happening to us lately, you're gonna stand there and joke about our dead brother just because you're pissed that your plan to prank Trowzer went sideways? !"

Lemmy rubbed his nose and slowly got back to his feet. "…You really think I'd joke about something like this? This is our brother we're talking about, Morton, not to mention our half-uncle! Do you seriously think I'd stoop that low: joking about Iggy at a time like this?"

It wasn't until Morton noticed that Lemmy's voice was cracking and that his eyes were watering that he knew he made a mistake. He unclenched his fist, but he was still angry.

"…So you said Trowzer is the one responsible?"

Lemmy nodded. "Mario had nothing…well, he roughed up Iggy a bit, but he didn't crash his airship! I browsed across this file saying Trowzer had two of his men plan bombs in the ship. That's why it crashed! Mario ultimately had nothing to do with it!"

"And you're absolutely sure that Trowzer is why Iggy's dead?"

"Yes!"

Now Morton was making a fist with his right hand again. He started to stomp his way towards the main door, but Lemmy grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Let go of me, Lemmy!"

"We can't do that! I already know what you're thinking; I want that asshole to pay too, but we have other problems to deal with!"

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Ludwig is in trouble. Look, after I found out what Trowzer did, one of his guys attacked me. I managed to fight him off, but afterwards Trowzer found me. He made up some bull(censored) story about how the guy I killed was a traitor, but I know he wasn't. Just before I left his room, he glanced at me and told me that he 'wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him too.'"

"…(censored). So what are we supposed to do now?"

"What else? ! We have to find Ludwig!"

"And leave the rest of the family unguarded?"

"I can't stay here, Morton! Don't you get that? ! If I stay here, I'm endangering everyone."

"Oh, but you're totally not endangering me by telling me all this (censored). I'm perfectly safe now," said Morton flatly.

"Who else was I supposed to tell? !"

"I dunno, MAYBE NOT THE KOOPALING WITH THE BIGGEST MOUTH IN THE FAMILY? !"

"…Damn. I would've been better off telling Dad."

"NO (CENSORED), LEMMY!"

Lemmy huffed. "It's too late for that now. No point in us standing here and bitching about it. You should be glad you weren't the one in that room a few moments ago. If Trowzer had found you, he would've killed you in a heartbeat; with me he took the risk that I'd keep quiet."

"…Good point. But Lemmy, even if we do search for Ludwig, where are we gonna look?"

"I don't know. We'll just have to explore and ask around. Maybe one of his past associates knows something."

"All right. Let's get goin' then; wouldn't want anyone to overhear us."

"With what kart?"

"Dad's Koopa King. You know he always leaves his keys in the ignition."

"Not even Dad is stupid enough to leave car keys plugged into the ignition."

* * *

Lemmy and Morton Koopa Jr. stood in front of the oversized Koopa King kart and stared at it for a moment. Lemmy glanced at the ignition and noticed the keys weren't inside.

"See? They are gone!"

Morton blinked before he calmly reached into the kart and lifted a set of keys. They were in the driver's seat the whole time. He looked at Lemmy and shook them a few times, making them jingle.

"…Oh."

Morton hopped into the driver's seat whilst Lemmy got onto the back compartment. Neither of them argued over who would drive; they didn't have the time. After Morton started the ignition, Lemmy grabbed the handlebars and held on tight. Then the kart slowly but steadily began to accelerate, and Morton began to drive away from the castle. Neither koopalings were aware of all the other kart and motorcycle riders who were staring at them from afar. And after they left, all the other riders revved their engines and began to follow the brothers…

* * *

Kooper shouted as he threw himself through the doors. He landed on a hard, stone-tiled floor with a huge thud and began to pant heavily. The koopa started to laugh to himself, almost tempted to kiss the floor. He had never been so glad to be outside, even though the air was laden with the scent of brimstone and flames, and the heat made his forehead moist. While Kooper was embracing freedom from the caves, the other heroes examined their surroundings. They were still in Bowser and Trowzer's volcanic territory, and they seemed to be located on a platform not far from Bowser's personal domain. On the ground below them, a couple of dragons Bowser and Trowzer had recruited were sleeping; the area seemed clear. As Mario stared at the fortress up ahead, it finally hit him. His adventure was almost over. He was staring right at his final objective. All he had to do now was storm the giant koopa's fortress, beat him to a pulp, and then rescue Princess Peach.

"My God…we're almost there. Bowser's castle is right over there!"

Kooper finally got off the floor and sighed heavily. "You're right. So, what now: the four of us storm the castle guns blazing—figuratively speaking—until all the bad guys are gone and the princess is safe?"

"Don't you think we should make up some sort of plan first?" asked Luigi.

"Why? We've half-assed a lot of things since this adventure started and we seem to be doin' fine," said Kooper.

"Aren't you guys forgetting about Yoshi's Island?" Geno chimed in.

Kooper suddenly stopped talking and began to rethink his decision. "Damn, that's right. We never stopped the Koopa Bros. from setting off those bombs. For all we know those Yoshis could be slaves right now being tortured to death!"

Mario shut his eyes and exhaled. "That's true…but we're right here! Peach is stuck inside that castle somewhere just waiting to be rescued; if we save her now and trounce Bowser and his brother, then this will all be over!"

"That's a big _IF_, bro. Besides, the rest of Bowser's league is in there; the four of us alone can't handle them," said Luigi.

"We've faced situations much grimmer than this you guys! Just a few moments ago we were chained inside a chamber and getting beat to a pulp and gassed to the point where we nearly suffocated, and somehow we managed to escape!"

"I'm not even gonna bring up the hell we went through involving those portals…" muttered Kooper.

"We can win this. We're right there; we're so close."

"It's not a matter of facing impossible odds that we fear, Mario. You have to keep in mind what's probably going on at Yoshi's Island. What if we do rescue Peach, but then find out that Trowzer's second-in-command took the entire place over and has been instructed to continue his dastardly plans should Trowzer die or lose power? We might make things worse by taking him out now," said Geno.

Luigi scratched his chin. "What if Trowzer _wants_ us to save Yoshi's Island first? Remember how he said that we _will_ help him? What if we're helping him by not storming the castle first? What if attacking Yoshi's Island is all just a diversion to prevent us from rescuing Peach? What if he has something more sinister planned?"

Kooper huffed. "When you put it _that_ way…"

Mario rubbed his head and sighed heavily. "Okay, how about this: Luigi and I will rescue Peach, and you and Geno will head over to Yoshi's Island and try to at least prevent the situation from getting any worse. When we have the princess, we'll head over to Yoshi's Island too, regroup with you, and then find some way to band all the Yoshis together so our small army can go up against Trowzer's forces. Sounds good?"

"Splitting up Mario? Really? That's what stupid white people do in horror movies when they want to die," said Kooper.

"Well, there ya go. You're a koopa; you got nothing to worry about," said Luigi.

"Our chances of success will probably drop…but at least one of us is bound to succeed and then later rescue the other," said Geno.

"There's just one problem though: how are we gonna get there? There's no planes around or jetpacks or anything that'll help us fly," said Kooper.

"Maybe you could 'persuade' one of those dragons down there to take you to Yoshi's Island," said Mario.

Kooper grinned. "I always did wanna ride a dragon."

"So we're agreed then? We'll storm Bowser's castle, and you two will head to Yoshi's Island?"

Kooper and Geno nodded. "It's not like Trowzer will be expecting us to split up. Maybe this'll work after all."

"All right then. No point in wasting any more time. Let's go!"

The four protagonists climbed down a ladder stationed against the platform before reaching the ground. Then they finally parted ways: the Mario Bros. headed over to Bowser's castle, and Kooper and Geno rushed over to the field the dragons were sleeping in.


	39. It's Getting Closer…

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Bowser's league is slowly growing suspicious of Trowzer's forces, Kooper and Geno find help from an unlikely source, Bowser finally confronts his brother, and Dix tells Green something that could jeopardize both their lives.

**It's Getting Closer…**

Larry calmly strolled through the castle grounds, surprised that so many of Trowzer's troops were slowly populating the area. He wasn't sure what happened with Lemmy or Morton, but something told the partially blinded koopaling that Lemmy just needed to beat someone to a pulp for his failed prank, and Morton was his victim. After maneuvering past several koopatrols and dozens of koopa troopas, Larry opened a large, rusty door and entered one of Bowser's prison quarters. Larry walked down the gloomy, barely lit stairs before opening another door leading straight for the actual prison cell. Inside the room were Junior and Wendy, who were looking quite troubled. As Larry shut the door, he greeted them.

"Hey guys! What's…" Larry's voice trailed off. With the exception of Junior and Wendy, the entire room was empty. Larry awkwardly looked around the cell, checking to see if Lemmy was trying to prank him for some obscure reason, but there were no traps in the cell. Larry turned around, expecting one of his brothers to come through the door. But it remained shut.

"Uh…where is everybody?"

"That's exactly the problem," muttered Wendy.

"You notice that ever since Trowzer showed up, a lot of bad things have been happening to us?" asked Junior.

Larry shrugged. "It's a coincidence. Ever since Iggy died, we've been going through a stroke of bad luck, that's all."

"We understand that," started Wendy, "but that doesn't change the fact that all of this began only several days after Trowzer decided to 'help' us."

Larry blinked. "What are you saying?"

"Look around, Larry. Why is there only three of us here when only one of us is dead?"

"I dunno. Maybe Mario—"

"Ludwig's been gone for over a day," started Junior. "Roy is trapped downstairs in one of the torture chambers. And from what you said, Lemmy was all beat up and bruised after coming out of Trowzer's room. And just now, you told me that he dragged Morton outside the castle with him, for one reason or another, and presumably left."

"Yeah…and?"

"Four of us have disappeared in under a week. Maybe Mario did kill Iggy, but do you _seriously_ believe he's responsible for Ludwig disappearing? And even if he was, why was Lemmy so bashed up after he left Trowzer's room? Why did he leave here so fast and take Morton with him? And why is Roy still in the torture chamber with Mario? You know Roy would've either killed Mario and his gang by mistake from going too far, or he would've called us just to brag about how much fun he's been having," said Wendy.

Now Larry was started to become uneasy. "So what…you're saying Trowzer killed them all?"

"I'm saying that ever since Trowzer's showed up, our luck hasn't been going very well. Yet this guy and his troops are sitting here strolling through _our_ castle like it's their own home, overpopulating the place and making some of our troops feel nervous. Some of the guards are saying that Trowzer's troops are starting to spy on us, and a couple of our guards have even gone missing," said Junior.

"Now, why would they need to spy on us unless—"

"—they were planning some sort of attack," Larry finished.

"We're only just guessing, Larry, but there's no way this many coincidences can happen in favor of Trowzer. Maybe he's not planning an attack, but there's too much shady (censored) goin' on for him not to be doing _something_ under Bowser's nose. Maybe he's…stealing from Dad and trying to cover his tracks. I don't know," concluded Junior.

"So what do we do?"

"We tell Dad everything," said Wendy. "All our suspicions, all these coincidences; sooner or later, Dad's gonna confront Trowzer about it. If we're lucky he'll be able to squeeze answers out of the guy."

"This _is_ Dad we're talking about," said Larry. "Y'know, the guy who put mayonnaise in a toaster."

Junior and Wendy shut their eyes and sighed heavily.

"Let's just hope for once, Dad'll grow a brain today."

* * *

Kooper and Geno were quietly walking around the dragons' resting area, being careful not to bump into any of the reptiles. Kooper cautiously stepped over a brown dragon's thick tail whilst Geno froze when another dragon yawned and rolled over.

"So which one should we pick?" asked Kooper.

"I suggest not choosing one that's part of Trowzer's league. If we do he or she might betray us and bite us in half when we're not looking."

Kooper sighed. "But we can't tell which dragon is siding with Trowzer or Bowser. None of the dragons are color-coordinated; any of these reptiles could be working for Trowzer!"

Geno agreed with Kooper. They had no way of telling which dragon worked for which oversized koopa. At least, that's what Geno thought at first. But to his surprise, the doll found a red dragon with curled purplish tails sleeping amongst all the other dragons. Geno quietly crept over to the dragon and blinked.

"…I think this dragon might be Hooktail."

"Then what the hell are you doing standing next to her for? ! You killed her brother—not to mention one of her cousins! I'm pretty sure she's not gonna be happy to hear that!"

"But this is the only dragon we know of that isn't part of Trowzer's crew. …We're just gonna have to take that chance."

"WAIT!"

But Geno didn't stop. He fired a few bullets from his elbow and watched as they bounced off the dragon's giant nose. She snorted in her sleep before groggily opening her eyes and scanning the area. She could see Geno and Kooper standing in front of her; the dragon opened her eyes wider and groaned as she lifted her head.

"Who the hell are you guys?"

"Err…new troops?"

Hooktail leaned forward and smelled Kooper twice. "Really? Why do you have a scent that's strangely familiar to all the koopas from Petalburg?"

"…Coincidence?"

"It doesn't matter. We're in desperate need of your help."

Hooktail snorted. "Well, as long as you guys aren't the Mario Bros. If it hadn't been for them, my brother would still be alive."

Geno glared at Kooper before he had time to open his mouth again. As the koopa kept quiet, Geno turned back to look at the dragon.

"Right…can you fly us over to—"

"Wait a second; aren't you guys friends with the Mario Bros.? !"

"Not…exactly," said Kooper nervously.

Hooktail stood up and snorted as she crept closer to the two heroes, sniffing them again. "Yeah, you are! I heard some of the dragons talking about how those plumbers were traveling with a koopa with a blue shell and this doll! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fry the both of you and dine on that koopa's charred carcass."

"Because Geno here knows a move that can kill you instantly. You ever heard of the 'Geno Whirl'?"

Hooktail's eyes grew wide and she glanced over at the doll.

"You're a very large target; it'll be easy to hit you." Just ask your late brother Gloomtail, or your late cousin Sharktail, thought Geno to himself.

Hooktail closer her eyes and backed away, sighing. "All right then, fine. What do you want me to do?"

"Fly us over to Yoshi's Island," Kooper said.

Hooktail scoffed. "Is that all? Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Did you not just threaten to eat us?"

"Yeah, but I hate these dragons and those guards working for Trowzer more than I hate four random ragtag misfits trying to save the world!"

"I am not some ragtag misfit!" shouted Kooper.

Hooktail ignored him. "I know that this plan to take over Yoshi's Island was part of Trowzer's idea. And ever since these dragons have come here, all I've been doing is either patrolling the skies for intruders or falling victims to all the dragons' toilet humor jokes. I don't mind a fart joke every now and then—Gloomtail used to play them on me every now and then—but it gets very old after the thirty-sixth time. 'Sides, all of Trowzer's troops keep glancing at me with scorn like they don't want me here. I don't see the point in staying here when everyone either treats me with indifference or plays a gross prank on me."

"I wouldn't be surprised if the guards tried to kill you tomorrow," muttered Geno.

"So you'll help us?" asked Kooper.

"No. I'm going to irritate Trowzer as much as I possibly can by screwing with his precious Yoshi's Island operation. And since you two seem to want to do the same thing, I don't see why I can't give you a lift."

"So just to be clear, you're not going to eat us or fry us with your breath?"

"Do you want me to give you a (censored) lift or not? !"

Geno and Kooper quickly ran behind the red dragon and hopped onto her back. Hooktail began to flap her wings and hover into the air.

"Make sure you two hold on tight!"

"You just worry about getting us to Yoshi's Island on time. For all we know, it might already be too late," said Geno.

The red dragon flapped her wings harder until she was several feet off the ground. Then Hooktail began to fly through the sky, quickly disappearing from the volcanic fortress.

* * *

Dix was still very uncomfortable being inside Bowser's castle. Even as he sat beside one of the Koopa Bros., he couldn't help thinking that Trowzer or one of his troops was spying on him from the ceiling. Green was busy playing with a paddleball while Dix sat down at a table, rubbing his hands together and looking worried.

"D'you hear that something big is gonna go down soon?" asked Green.

Dix nodded slowly. "…What about it?"

Green shrugged. "You think Trowzer'll have us blow up another facility? That job we did on Yoshi's Island was awesome! It's a shame you weren't there!"

"I didn't feel like incinerating innocent people, Green."

Green figured the wingless paratroopa was just pissed about something and ignored the comment. One of Bowser's guards, a bald cleft, walked by.

"Hey, Randy!"

"(Censored) off."

Green frowned and stopped whacking the ball against the paddle. The ninjakoopa huffed and sat down next to Dix. "The hell is wrong with Bowser's troops? Everytime we walk past them they either glare at us or just swear at us or make up some excuse to go somewhere else."

"Oh. Do they now?"

"That's the fourth guy who swore at me today when all I said was hi! Just because we defected from Bowser's army doesn't mean we still can't act casual."

"Maybe they can't tolerate that you're working for some scumbag like Trowzer."

"Hey, that 'scumbag' is the reason why Red managed to find Yellow's killer. Trowzer has done a helluva lot more for us and Steve than Bowser ever would've and you know it."

Dix flared his nostrils, trying not to let his anger rise to a boiling point. He couldn't expose who Trowzer really was without the risk of getting killed.

"Yeah, yeah…you're right," Dix murmured.

"Besides, you know all the money we've been making recently? It's like this guy has an endless mountain of cash stuffed in his room! At the rate we're going, we'll be able to get a castle of our own! Well, another castle."

"Great," said Dix, not listening.

"Yeah, we'll even be able to get that Ferrari Yellow wanted so much! …Shame he won't be able to ride in it though."

Dix closed his eyes and began to rub his head. "Yes, well…you-you move on, right?"

"I suppose," muttered Green, as he began to think about all the good times with his late brother. But after the brief moment, he smiled and chuckled to himself. "We, uh, we had this big plan in store where we…damn, what was it? Oh yeah! We were planning on getting Trowzer this gift, but inside of the box—"

Green's voice trailed off when Dix moaned horribly and began to shudder. The koopa dug his nails into his face and slowly dragged them down his head. Green lifted an eyebrow.

"Uh…dude?"

Dix slammed his fists on the table and started to breathe heavily. "I am…SICK and tired of hearing about that asshole Trowzer!"

"What the hell's up with you and Trowzer? You act like the guy raped you and has been bragging about it to everyone. Aren't you forgetting that Trowzer—"

"SHUT THE **FUCK** UP!"

Green's eyes grew wide. Not because Dix just swore at him vehemently, but because he wasn't censored.

"Dude. You didn't get censored."

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

Green snickered and grinned. "Yes! That means we can say (censored) all we…DAMNIT!"

"This is not the time to talk about the goddamn censors you stupid Neanderthal! Do you have any idea what kind of koopa Trowzer is? ! Are you even remotely aware of all the (censored) he's done, of all the (censored) he's capable of doing? !"

For once, Green began to take Dix seriously. "What does that mean?"

"I've been talking to his soldiers you idiot. That asshole is the reason why Iggy Koopa is dead! Mario and his gang had nothing to do with it; they set him up! Who knows what else that…demon has done, Green? ! Do you remember that magikoopa you used to hang out with, Darrik? Huh? Well, where is he now Green? ! Where's Simon, the guard we used to drink beers with on the weekends? !"

"Trowzer told me—"

"Don't say his (censored) name, Green! Stop…you have no idea what that monster is capable of. You have no idea what he did to Iggy, what he did to Simon, what he did to dozens of other people we used to work with!"

"But…I thought Simon just—"

"No, Green. No. Simon is not coming back. _Ever_. For all we know, he probably killed Darrik too—he probably killed Yellow and Steve's brother…"

Dix didn't realize what he said until it was too late. He stopped talking and his eyes grew wide. Green's eyes were the same size as Dix's; the paddleball clattered to the floor as it fell from Green's hand. Dix slowly turned and glanced at Green, breathing heavily. Neither of them said anything for what seemed like an entire minute. Dix awkwardly stood up and whimpered.

"Oh my God," he said, his voice smaller than a mouse's.

Green stood up too, being more serious than he could ever be. "What did you say?"

"I…" Dix couldn't lie. Now that he thought about it, Trowzer killing Yellow seemed to make more sense than some dirty cop garroting him for no reason. But whether or not it was true, Dix just told Green about Simon's death. He just signed his own death warrant. Dix whimpered again as he backed away from Green, his eyes becoming watery.

"Say it again, Dix," Green demanded.

But Dix couldn't repeat anything. He was too confused and afraid. "I…I-I have to leave now."

"Dix—"

"I just…oh my God."

Before Green even had time to call his name again, the wingless paratroopa turned around and began to run away. Green didn't know what to believe anymore. He trusted Trowzer, but Dix had been his friend for months. And judging by how traumatized he was, it didn't look like the koopa was lying. Green just stood next to the table, filled with shock and terror. Was it all true? Was it possible that he was working for the guy who murdered his brother in cold blood?

* * *

Trowzer was busy cleaning up his room when someone pounded their fist on his door. Figuring it was one of his minions, the large koopa just rubbed his head and got up to answer the door. Much to his surprise, Bowser was on the other side. Before Trowzer could even open the door all the way, Bowser slammed it open, and stomped into the koopa's disheveled room.

"You could've just said hello, Brother," said Trowzer, before shutting the door.

"Shut up," said Bowser as he looked all around the room.

"Need something?"

Bowser walked all around the room, breathing heavily as he looked for something, anything that could implicate Trowzer. His koopalings had told him about their suspicions, and after hearing their stories, Bowser decided enough was enough. He didn't even like his half-brother; there was no reason why he should bother trying to be his ally anymore. Unfortunately, all the files in Trowzer's secret cabinet had all been scooped up and were locked away once again. Bowser huffed after looking underneath Trowzer's desk and stood up, staring at his half-brother.

"What are you doing here?" he finally asked.

Trowzer dumped a few sharps of broken glass into a trash can and sighed. "Cleaning my room. You should try it some time."

"No, why are you here, in my castle trying to 'help' me and my army?"

Trowzer smiled smugly. "It just seemed like a perfect opportunity to—"

"No, no, no, stop. Right there," said Bowser, pointing at his half-brother. "Say that again."

Trowzer blinked. "It just seemed like a perfect opportunity."

Bowser growled and slowly approached his brother. "Yes, that right there. A perfect opportunity to do what?"

Trowzer scoffed. "What's this now? Do you suspect your dear old brother is plotting behind your back?"

"Are you doing anything _worth_ having me question if you're plotting behind my back?"

It wasn't until Trowzer noticed that his nose was almost touching Bowser's that he realized his brother was standing less than a foot away from him.

"Now why would you ask that? Have you heard any rumors from someone?"

"It doesn't matter who I've heard them from."

"Perhaps you should tell me their names?"

"Why, so you can kill them?" snapped Bowser.

Trowzer feigned looking hurt by the comment. "Really, Bowser, I'm appalled you'd even think I'd stoop that low. Me killing innocent people? Ever since I got here, all I've been trying to do was help you."

"Some (censored) help you've been."

Trowzer flared his nostrils and growled softly. "Don't you stand there with your pissed-off stare and make these accusations. I've done nothing to harm you at all."

"Now we know _that's_ a load of bull(censored). A few days after you came here, you started to build your own army by convincing my own soldiers to join your league. You even got one of my top koopatrols, Steve, to work alongside you."

"Because his brother was killed due to your ineptitude."

"…I'm going to assume you just called me stupid. Thing is, his brother died shortly after you came here. And immediately after he died, Steve came crawling to you with open arms. Those guards I had guarding Steve's brother had been gone for several weeks, and shortly after you come here, he abruptly gets killed?"

"Circumstantial."

Bowser nodded slowly and began to pace back and forth in Trowzer's room. "Yes, maybe you're right. Maybe it was just a stroke of bad luck. But it wasn't until my son died that I noticed several things have been off lately. See, the night Iggy died in the hospital—thank you for not showing up by the way—I got a phone call from this guy who works with me."

"Really? What guy?"

Bowser really forgot Doopliss' name. "I dunno, some guy in a bed sheet and party hat. Anyway, when he called me, he told me that one of my magikoopas, Darrik, was dead."

"So someone told you one of your minions had died. Big deal. How does that involve me?"

"He told me that you or some of your troops kidnapped Darrik and tortured him to death. Before you ask how I know, the bed-sheet guy told me he found Darrik's jaw on the floor in his house."

Trowzer smiled smugly and scoffed again. "Maybe Darrik left and got tired of working for you. Guess he skipped town and this bed-sheet guy is paranoid just because he didn't see him again."

"So if I go to Darrik's house, I won't find his jaw on the floor?"

"No, you won't." Because I already disposed of it, Trowzer said inwardly.

Bowser sighed heavily and shrugged. "Hmm, maybe you're right. Maybe he did just skip town without notifying me."

"That's what I was telling—"

"I'm sure you've heard of that ninjakoopa Yellow being killed too, right? And not even twenty-four hours after my son died in the hospital. Poor kid got strangled to death. But I know what you're thinking—I already know. Mario and his gang were the ones who killed him, right? They cornered him in Pianta Village and murdered him in cold blood, just like they did my son, _right_? Shame really; the Koopa Bros. couldn't even have an open-casket funeral because a Bzzap! pecked out their brother's eyeballs."

Trowzer just smiled and shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I say? Seems to me like the Mario Bros. are finally beginning to understand how things work. Nowadays, you can't just defeat your enemies. You have to kill them, make sure they never come back."

"Is that what they did to Ludwig? Elark too? I noticed they've been gone for over a day now. Guess Mario went ahead and killed both of them too. But if that's the case, then why haven't their bodies showed up yet? Mario and his gang had no problem killing Iggy and Yellow out in the open—assuming they did kill them."

Trowzer was getting tired of this interrogation. He turned around and started tidying up his room, acting like he didn't give a damn.

"You've underestimated them. They've gotten much smarter and a helluva lot crueler over the years. It's just taken you now to realize that."

Bowser ignored him and kept going. "It's too bad about Skipy though. You probably heard of her: Iggy's girlfriend? Someone slit the poor girl's throat in her apartment."

Trowzer dug his claws into the table in front of him and slowly dragged them against the wood. He growled gutturally; someone must've screwed up the job and forgot to dispose of Skipy's body. Perhaps his men were too concerned of getting rid of Ludwig and Elark's body to worry about Skipy. But now it was blowing back in Trowzer's face.

"My other son and the dark koopa go missing the same day Skipy is killed."

Trowzer turned around and opened his mouth, but Bowser held up a hand and stopped him.

"I know already, I know. Uh, let me guess: Mario kidnapped Ludwig and Elark, then killed Skipy for being a witness?"

Trowzer was about to agree, but at this point, he could tell how ludicrous these situations were, and Bowser was making fun of him and his ridiculous excuses.

"Maybe Mario did kill Iggy. Maybe he did kill Yellow," he said, slowly getting up in Trowzer's face, "But you and I both know that the wondrous, heroic plumber Mario would not stoop so low as to murder an innocent koopa. So don't you dare stand there and make up some bull(censored) story saying that Mario is responsible for her death."

Trowzer flared his nostrils a few times and noticed he was making a fist. "What are you implying here, Bowser?"

"Why don't you tell me? Why is that bed-sheet freak still out on the run? What happened to Darrik? Where's Ludwig? And for that matter, what the hell is my son Roy doing? I haven't heard a peep out of him since he entered the torture chamber. Larry even told me that Lemmy rushed outside the castle with Morton looking all beat up."

Bowser glanced around the room again and growled. "And I see your room looks trashed. You get in a fight with someone, Trowzer?" he asked, his voice rising.

Trowzer's face twitched until a long grin appeared on his face. "When did you get so smart, Brother?"

"How do you know I haven't been faking this whole time? How do you know I'm not pretending to be an idiot so no one will suspect how smart I really am?"

"Because smart people don't put their hands in a waffle iron to check and see if it's hot."

Bowser ignored the embarrassing incident that happened three days ago and kept going. "Bottom line: with all this stuff going on, I know you at least know _something_ about it."

Trowzer sighed heavily and leaned against the table. "I grow weary of all these fruitless accusations. You hate me; I get it. I've been trying to help—really I have—but clearly nothing I do will ever make you happy. Not even capturing your arch nemesis and delivering him to you on a silver platter. You're just looking for someone to blame and I was the first choice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got a room to tidy up."

As Trowzer began to walk away, Bowser snarled and grabbed Trowzer by his throat and slammed him against the wall hard. Bowser ignored the sound of glass shattering and walked forward, growling and breathing deeply as he stared his brother in the eye.

"I _know_ you're up to something! I know of all the (censored) you've done in the past; I am well aware of everything you're capable of doing! So don't you dare tell me that you have absolutely nothing to do with this!"

Bowser let go of Trowzer's throat. The blue-shelled koopa grabbed his throat and began to cough, massaging his neck. Bowser breathed heavily as he stared at his brother.

"I am tired of not knowing whether or not I should trust you. Right here, right now, you are gonna confess everything to me. And I swear to God, if you had anything to do with Iggy's death, I _will_ kill you."

As Trowzer fully stood up, Bowser grabbed him by the chin and slammed his head against the wall.

"Do you hear me? _I will fucking kill you_."

As Bowser let go, Trowzer started to breathe heavily. Bowser snarled again, growing impatient.

"Go ahead, Brother. Look me in the eye and tell me you had nothing to do with any of this."

But Trowzer couldn't do that, not with a straight face. The blue-shelled koopa sighed heavily before chuckling to himself. Grinning as wide as he could, he stepped in front of Bowser.

"Fine then. I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything you wanna know."

Bowser could feel one of his hands balling up into a fist too. He had seen that grin on Trowzer's ugly mug several times before. That wicked smile alone was a confession. He was responsible for it all. But he needed to confirm it. He needed to hear the words spill out of Trowzer's very own mouth. Just as Trowzer was about to talk, someone pounded on Trowzer's door.

"GO AWAY!" roared Bowser.

"But this is important, Your Viciousness!"

It was Kammy Koopa. "I said leave!"

Much to Bowser's annoyance, Kammy Koopa realized that the door wasn't locked. She twisted the knob and threw herself inside, huffing and panting. Bowser and Trowzer slowly stared at her, looking like they wanted to rip her head off.

"I just told—"

"The Mario Bros. have escaped!"

Bowser's eyes grew wide. "What!"

Kammy nodded. "A few patrols near the gate spotted them. They're traversing through this castle as we speak! …But it makes no sense. That koopa and doll weren't with them, and we have an entire armada at our side! Going up against us is suicide!"

Bowser turned and glared at Trowzer. He promptly snorted and folded his arms.

"I suppose you blame me for this too?"

"You were the one who captured him and chained him up."

Trowzer snarled and shoved Bowser out of the way. Bowser growled and began to walk after him.

"We're not done here, Trowzer!"

"Done with what?" asked Kammy, having no clue what just took place.

"Yes, we are. Since you think I'm such a traitor and nothing I say will convince you otherwise, perhaps I'll show you instead. I'm going to take care of the Mario Bros.; maybe you'll believe me then after I clean up my own mess!"

"…Fine. Take a few soldiers—"

"No," said Trowzer firmly. "I'll do this myself."

The blue-shelled koopa turned away from Bowser and stomped out of his room. Kammy Koopa simply scratched her head in confusion.

"Uh, did I miss something, Your Bossiness?"

Bowser simply flicked his eyes over at Kammy Koopa before he continued to watch Trowzer walk away. If it hadn't been for her, Trowzer would've confessed everything. But Bowser could tell by the nasty grin that Trowzer was at least responsible for something, if not most of the things he accused his half-brother of. And now he knew.


	40. Sal

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Dix decides to cut and run, Bowser and his forces prepare for a possible attack from his brother, and the Mario Bros. finally come face to face with their true enemy.

**Sal**

Bowser walked into the chamber where all his senior members met and slammed the door. Pressing his large shell against the door, the oversized koopa began to breathe heavily, repeatedly balling his right hand into a fist. Some of his army's high-ranked minions were standing in the chamber, looking at Bowser for an answer.

"Well?" asked Larry.

Bowser glanced over at his son and continued to remain silent. Eventually he stopped leaning against the door and slowly walked over to the large table resting in the middle of the room. His three remaining koopalings glanced at each other before asking again.

"What did Trowzer say, Dad?" asked Junior.

The burly koopa slammed his fist down on the table, startling everyone in the chamber. Trying to keep his anger under control, Bowser sighed heavily and began to speak.

"…He killed him, he murdered Iggy," he muttered quietly.

The koopalings' eyes grew wide. "But…w-wait! How is that possible?! We were just guessing everything that's been—"

"I know my own brother, Larry!"

"So…you're saying Trowzer blatantly told you—"

"Of course that snake didn't tell me," said Bowser, interrupting Wendy. "But he didn't have to. Right when he was about to confess, he just grinned at me, that-that (censored) snake grin of his he always flashed at me when we were growing up. Everytime he grinned like that I knew he was about to start running his mouth, bragging about all the stuff he had or the stuff he could do better than me! He was about to blab about all his dastardly deeds until _you_ came along and distracted us," said Bowser, glaring over at Kammy Koopa.

"B-But, Your Raunchiness! I thought you would've wanted to know—"

"It's okay, Kammy; it doesn't matter. He didn't _have_ to tell me what he's done. That smug smile of his did it for me!"

"But did Trowzer actually say that—"

"If he didn't kill Iggy directly, Junior, then he either knows who did it and isn't telling me, or he had one of his men do it for him."

Bowser huffed and turned to face his children. "Even if he didn't kill Iggy, I'm pretty damn sure he's responsible for a lot of the other shady (censored) that's been going on. Ever since Trowzer captured Mario, I've let Trowzer use this castle like it was his own home. Over half his army is inside here, and they clearly look more prepared than the rest of us for something big to happen."

General Guy stared at Bowser with horror. "You think he's gonna try and attack us?"

Bowser glanced over at the shy guy general and shook his head. "Not just attack. I think he's gonna try and take over this castle."

Everyone in the room gasped and stared at Bowser with shock. The ruler gritted his teeth and slammed his fist on the table again.

"This whole goddamn time, that asshole has been staring me in the face pretending to act like he really cares about me, like he really wanted to help. You all said he was trouble from the start, but I wanted to believe he would actually help me. He played me like a fool this entire time, and I fell for it. …I don't understand how I could've been this stupid…"

Everyone just stared at Bowser as he began to mull over his recent failures, unsure of what to say to bring the leader's spirits back up. But after a long and awkward silence, Junior stepped forward and stood beside his father.

"For what it's worth, I never did like the guy. Trowzer can't take a joke to save his life."

Bowser smirked and laughed quietly. "No, he can't."

"Dad, it's not like anyone in this room favored Trowzer over you," started Wendy. "I mean, sure, you may be dim-witted—"

"And loud," blurted out Kammy Koopa.

"And oblivious," said General Guy.

"And smelly," said Tutankoopa.

"And flatulent and idiotic and hammy and gross and—"

"I get the picture," growled Bowser.

"The point is, we still trust you and care about you, and we always will," concluded Wendy.

Bowser glanced around the room at all his loyal subjects and smiled slightly. "Thanks guys."

General Guy huffed with exasperation before he finally spoke up again. "So are we gonna get all lovey-dovey and start hugging each other, or are you gonna tell us what to do about your snake brother?"

Bowser nodded. "Of course! I want you to round up your shy guy army and tell them to arm themselves with anything they've got. Your army will serve as the infantry, along with Goomba King's forces."

The humongous goomba lifted an eyebrow. "Uh, are you sure that's wise? A goomba can't do that much damage."

"No, _one_ goomba can't. But you have several goombas at your disposal, perhaps hundreds. Number is on our side; if the shy guys and goombas rush them, who's to say they won't retreat and lose several soldiers in the process?"

"Hmm…good point."

"I'll tell all my koopatrol and Hammer Bros. units to guard the corridors with their lives and double the security. Junior, is that purple crocodile still allied with us?"

"Who, that Croco bandit?"

"Yeah, we're gonna need him and his crooks. Croco's a pro with bombs, and I'm sure he'd love setting up some explosive traps for Trowzer's army."

Junior laughed. "I like where this is going."

As Bowser continued to discuss his plans with his generals, Wendy glanced over at Larry and noticed he was standing against the wall in silence, pondering deeply.

"You okay, Larry?"

Larry flicked his undamaged eye over at his sister. "Fine…Lemmy and I just liked Trowzer, that's all. I didn't think he'd stoop this low."

"None of us did. Just try not to worry about him anymore. We're gonna make sure what happened to Iggy doesn't happen to one of us again."

Larry nodded slowly. "Right…sure."

Wendy could see that Larry was still a little upset over everything going on, but she figured her brother would get over it soon. He was gonna have to should the two armies go to war with each other. Bowser could tell something horrible was looming, and his army needed to get ready fast.

* * *

Trowzer stomped down the corridor alone, ignoring all of Bowser's forces, as well as his own. It wasn't until he was halfway through the large and gloomy fortress that he stumbled upon his new second in command, Shannon.

"My Lord! I'm so glad I caught you—"

"Not now," Trowzer growled.

Shannon grabbed the koopa's right arm and jerked him over towards one of the empty rooms that one of Bowser's goombas once used as a store. Shannon shoved Trowzer inside and shut the door, panting.

"I thought I told you—"

"When are we taking over this castle, Trowzer?"

Trowzer scoffed. "Are you really _that_ ambitious? You know as well as I that if we rush this plan, we're bound to make mistakes. Besides, my brother just told me that the Mario Bros. have escaped."

"That is the last thing we need to worry about. We both know that Bowser's forces are getting suspicious. Some of them have been talking behind our backs and out of our range of hearing. They're plotting something; I know they are!"

Trowzer was about to give the dark koopa another snarky remark when he thought about what just happened in his room. If it hadn't been for Kammy Koopa alerting Bowser that the Mario Bros. had escaped, the two koopas would be brawling in his room right now. As much as he hated rushing his plan, Shannon was right. If they didn't go with their plan now, Bowser's army would get the drop on them. For all Trowzer knew, they could be well-behind Bowser when it came to getting prepared.

"Yes…my brother has gotten smarter lately. And after what we did to Dix—"

"That is exactly the problem, boss. You know Dix is close to the Koopa Bros. Even if it's not intentional, Dix is gonna say something about what happened to Simon. The fact that Benson already told him that we're responsible for Iggy's death is already bad enough. What if he did more digging behind our backs and found out about Yellow too? It's not a matter of _if_, boss. It's a matter of _when_."

Trowzer grumbled and leaned against a stack of dark brown crates. "If we kill Dix, some of Bowser's soldiers that have joined us will get suspicious. They may start connecting the dots."

"And if we let Dix live, he might tell them something they shouldn't hear and they'll connect the dots faster."

"…Fine. If he has to go, then so be it. I'd prefer if you'd do it discreetly though."

"What if I can't?"

Trowzer shrugged. "That's too bad then."

"So we're taking over this castle then? Right now?"

"Depends. Do you have all the soldiers ready?"

"They're not assembled yet, but everyone's here. I even brought down those two Yoshi brothers. Y'know, those two guys who—"

"Yes, yes, I am well-aware of them," said Trowzer, with a nasty grin on his face. "But what about Dix?"

The dark koopa grinned. "Let me worry about Dix. He won't be telling anymore secrets, trust me."

"All right then…handle Dix, and then get the team ready. I'll join you guys after I deal with the Mario Bros."

"But what for? They'll probably get caught in the crossfire and die anyways!"

Trowzer closed his eyes and smiled. "Don't worry, Shannon. I'm a lot tougher than my brother. This won't take long at all."

* * *

Dix was in his room, stuffing more of his equipment into a very large backpack. The wingless paratroopa couldn't stay calm anymore, no matter how hard he tried. It was one thing to tell Green who really killed Iggy, but he told the ninjakoopa that Trowzer could've even be involved in Yellow's murder. He had to leave now; Bowser couldn't protect him, no matter how hard he tried. Chances are he wouldn't want to anymore. All he needed were his personal items, a decent weapon, and some money. Dix began to sort through his belongings when he stumbled across a box cutter. The reptile breathed heavily as he stared at the weapon, wondering if it was suitable for defense. The wingless paratroopa was staring at the box cutter for so long that he didn't bother to turn around. If he had, he would've seen one of Shannon's troops sneaking into his room.

"Hey, Dix."

"(Censored)," muttered Dix.

The dark koopa scratched his head in confusion. "Hmm…seems like you're preparing for a vacation. Where ya goin'?"

"Why do you care?"

"It's just that Trowzer needs to know where his troops are at all times. Something important is about to happen. He could really use you."

"Like how he used Simon?"

The dark koopa smiled and stepped closer to Dix. "Of course not. Trowzer trusts you now! He knows you haven't been exposing any of his secrets to anyone. Ain't that right?"

Dix looked down at his box cutter and closed his eyes. He breathed heavily, hoping that he wouldn't have to kill anyone as he fled Bowser's castle. But he knew this koopa wasn't going to leave him alone. Hell, Trowzer probably sent him here to kill him.

"Ain't that right?"

There was no other option. Dix was just gonna have to live with himself. The wingless paratroopa slowly stood up and jerked himself around, swinging the weapon around at the dark koopa's throat. Unfortunately, the purple-shelled koopa anticipated this, and wound up grabbing Dix's arm. The paratroopa grunted multiple times before the dark koopa grinned.

"What's this now? You, uh, you mistaking my neck for a box, Dix?"

The dark koopa knocked the box cutter out of Dix's hand and shoved him against the table. Chuckling, he took out his own knife and held it against Dix's throat.

"How's about I cut open your 'box' instead?!"

Dix jerked his hand up at the dark koopa's face and scratched as his eyes. The dark koopa shouted and dropped the knife. Before he could pick it back up, Dix shoved him against the wall and hurried over to the fallen box cutter. High on adrenaline, Dix instinctively shouted and slashed the cutter at the koopa's throat. The dark koopa gasped loudly and started to gurgle. He grabbed his throat as blood began to spew out of the wound. Dix backed away, flinching as blood was splattered all over his face. The dark koopa gurgled twice and fell on to the floor. Still shaking and gasping, Dix watched as the koopa started to bleed out on the floor. Unable to listen to the disturbing gurgling any longer, Dix leaned down and grunted as he slit the koopa's throat from earhole to earhole. More blood splashed in Dix's face, practically blinding him. The dark koopa managed to let out a tiny gurgle before he finally stopped moving. Panting and close to vomiting, Dix dropped the box cutter and hastily wiped the blood off his face. Dix bent over and searched the dead reptile's shell, surprised to find a loaded handgun. Not bothering to clean up all the blood on the floor, or even to hide the body, Dix put the gun in his shell, snatched up his backpack, and started to run.

He couldn't be discreet any longer. There was no turning back; he had to leave now. But first, the wingless paratroopa needed to steal some money from Trowzer's personal stash. He couldn't spend his life on the run with no coins in possession. Dix jerked over to a corridor and screeched to a halt, stumbling upon a group of Trowzer's soldiers. Slowly moving backwards, Dix turned around and ran in the opposite direction. He turned to his right and shoved open a door, entering an old stairwell with a musty smell. Dix quickly sprinted down the stairs until he reached the bottom and shoved open another set of doors. Trowzer's chamber full of money wasn't far now; just several more yards and then he'd be there. Dix ran past a hallway, ignoring the dark koopa eating a candy bar, and finally reached Trowzer's room containing the money. Unfortunately, there was a guard standing in front of the room.

"Hey, Dix. You seen Shannon lately? He's been looking—"

Dix took out his gun and shot the shady koopa in the head. He had only used a gun once; he wasn't a professional, but at this point Dix would do anything to get out of this castle. Ignoring the body, Dix grabbed the doorknob and shouted with frustration as he tried to open the locked door. One of the guards shoved open the door, knocking Dix over on his shell.

"WHAT THE (CENSORED)?!"

Dix whimpered as he rolled over and grabbed the gun. He quickly waved it at the guard and shot him twice. Rolling over onto his stomach, Dix got on his feet and ran into the room, leaving the door open. As Dix turned to his right and spotted a small living quarters where all the guards resided, two shots rang out, nearly hitting Dix in the skull. Dix breathed heavily as he pressed his back against the wall, waiting for the guards to stop shooting. Taking a chance, Dix peeked around the wall again and saw the last two guards hiding. The wingless paratroopa pointed his gun at the couch one koopatrol was crouching beside and waited. The second he moved, Dix put a bullet in his skull. Still on an adrenaline rush, Dix sprinted into the living quarters and slammed into the other koopatrol before he could get off another shot. They tussled for a brief moment before Dix pointed his gun at the guard's chest and fired off another two rounds. The koopatrol grunted twice before he slowly dropped his handgun and slid over to the wall. He looked up at Dix and coughed up some blood before he slid down to the floor and eventually died from his wounds.

After killing the final guards, Dix backed away from the bodies, shaking and breathing heavily. His adrenaline was gradually leaving his body, and now the wingless paratroopa was starting to mull over what he had just done. As if the shots alone hadn't alerted dozens of soldiers, Dix was shocked that he just killed four koopas just so he could steal some money and leave the castle. He turned around and shut the door before pressing his hands against the wall and looking down at the floor. Still sweating and shaking, it wasn't long before Dix leaned over and puked all over the floor. The reptile coughed up the last bit of bile as he bent over, hands on his knees, and started to convulse and whimper. Dix didn't know what he was doing anymore. He was even beginning to wonder if any of this would work out in the end. Iggy hadn't done anything to hurt Trowzer, and he wound up dead. But Dix just killed four of his troops; Trowzer had the perfect cover story in case anyone asked why Dix was killed. Dix exhaled and wiped the vomit from his mouth before he started to control his breathing and closed his eyes.

"Okay, Dix, just…just calm down," he said before exhaling again. "Relax…you're almost there. Just get the money and walk out."

Dix opened his eyes and exhaled, finally back under control. The wingless paratroopa searched all around the living quarters—the kitchen, the dining area, the bathroom—but there was no money anywhere. The reptile even went out of his way to open up all the cabinets and closets, expecting a few coin bags to be stashed in there. But he found nothing. Panicking, Dix started to press his hands around the brick walls. He knew Trowzer wouldn't be stupid enough to leave all his cash just lying around in the open. He'd hide it somewhere, like beneath the floorboards or in the walls. It wasn't until Dix was in the kitchen standing next to the white table that he found a loose brick. Dix tapped on it a few times before he curiously used a nearby knife to pry it out of the wall. It fell on the floor with a loud crack, exposing a large coin bag. Perhaps Dix was blessed with luck after all. The wingless paratroopa put his backpack on the table and started to remove all the fake bricks from the wall. After much clattering and cracking, Dix could see that the entire wall was filled to the brim with all the money he needed, and much more. Dix took out three small coin bags and stuffed them into his backpack before realizing that the pack was full.

Dix sighed heavily and rubbed his forehead. He could take a treasure chest, but that was far too big for one koopa to carry. He also couldn't grab two coin bags and run out of the castle with one in each hand; it would be a dead giveaway. Dix took out two more bags and put them on the table, trying to figure out what to do. Suddenly, an idea came to mind: why not dump all the coins into his backpack? Once Dix was clear of the castle, he could find another container to put all his cash in. With any luck, he'd stumble upon a bank. But now that Dix had all his cash, he was free to leave and disappear without a trace. Opening up the coin bag, Dix turned the bag upside-down and dumped most of the coins inside. Some of them spilled out onto the table or floor, but Dix didn't stop to pick them up. He wasn't greedy; he only needed the money to make a decent living. Once the sack was empty, Dix tossed it aside and opened up the other one. He quickly dumped all the coins inside his backpack as well, almost smiling to himself at the half-assed plan that had been executed poorly. And yet, it worked out in Dix's favor.

It was right then that three shots rang out. Dix felt like someone just punched him in the back three times. He jolted a little, leaning against the table. At first he didn't understand what happened, until he noticed two bullet holes in the wall. Dix looked down at his backpack and noticed blood was sprayed all over it. Then he looked down at his chest and noticed he was bleeding profusely. Someone had shot him in the back three times; whatever bullets had been used was strong enough to go right through Dix's shell. Two of them even managed to go through his body, while the third bullet was lodged not far from his left lung. Dix tried to breathe, but barely any air entered his lungs, and it hurt to inhale. Blood began to flow out of the paratroopa's mouth. Dix whimpered softly and tried to step forward, but his body was too weak. His vision dimming, Dix fell backwards and landed on his shell, right in front of his killer. Shannon slowly walked beside the table and leaned against it, folding his arms and grinning. He stared at the scared reptile as he began to breathe softly and whimper, watching him die. Dix couldn't even move. He tried to lift his head, but the pain was too great. He tried to speak, but only soft, incoherent mumbles or whimpers would come out his mouth. Gagging on his own blood, Dix refused to give up, even though part of him knew it was useless. It wasn't until Dix realized how calm everything was suddenly becoming that he finally decided to give up.

Shannon watched the reptile he just shot mumble a few more times before he suddenly let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. Shannon knew Dix was dead, but he waited for another twenty seconds just to be sure he didn't get back up. The dark koopa sighed before he walked away from the table and exited the room. It was unfortunate for Dix that the koopa eating a Snickers bar in the hallway was actually Shannon. He had sent one of his men to kill Dix for him; the fact that Shannon spotted the very-much-alive wingless paratroopa sprinting for Trowzer's money chamber was purely coincidence. Shannon had wanted to kill Dix quietly, but after the commotion he just caused, it was out of the question now. But it was okay, because now Shannon could tell everyone that Dix had turned traitor and tried to steal from Trowzer. And the grisly scene in the chamber would prove that.

* * *

The Mario Bros. walked into a long and tall corridor that was lit with nothing but candles hanging from chandeliers and torches that had been lit with blue flames. It all seemed rather similar to the time Mario and his gang had rescued Princess Peach after Bowser stole the all-powerful Star Rod. The two plumbers kept walking down the large corridor, expecting something to attack them from behind or from the left or right side of the hallway. But amazingly, the brothers managed to walk through without any interruptions. At least, not until Trowzer kicked open the double-doors at the end of the hallway. Mario and Luigi stopped walking and watched as the blue-shelled koopa with yellow hair and green spikes on his shell stepped forward, grinning as always.

"Well, well, well, looks like I made it just in time!"

Mario scoffed. "You don't seem too surprised that we managed to escape. You wanted us to get out, didn't you?"

Trowzer kept walking towards them. "Of course I did! Don't you remember? I told you that you were gonna help me!"

"Oh yeah? And how's that? By kicking your ass and foiling your malevolent plans?" asked Luigi.

Trowzer laughed evilly. "Don't you understand? You've already helped me!"

Mario blinked, confused. "I don't follow."

"You didn't help me in the way I planned, but nevertheless, you assisted me anyways. If you two hadn't escaped, you wouldn't have been spotted by some of our patrols. Because of you, Kammy Koopa interrupted a conversation that I was having with my brother, and you prevented us from getting into a fight that would clearly lead to me killing him."

Trowzer lifted his index finger and thumb and moved them close together, making it look like he was trying to press both fingers together. But he stopped to the point where both fingers were less than a centimeter from touching.

"I was _this_ close to killing my brother, but you came along and prevented that from happening. It's a good thing too, giving that he suddenly grew a brain and started to question what I've been doing."

"I thought you wanted to kill Bowser?" asked Mario.

"I can't kill him just yet. If I killed him when we were talking, his troops surely would've gotten suspicious. I am going to kill Bowser…just not yet."

"Why not?" asked Luigi.

Trowzer scoffed. "I'm not some James bond villain, Luigi. You're clearly a fool if you think I'm gonna stand here and brag about my objectives."

"It doesn't matter what you plan on doing, Trowzer. It all ends here, right now. I don't know what you did on Yoshi's Island, but my friends are going to stop your attack! And I don't care what you may or may not have done to Peach—"

Trowzer groaned and closed his eyes. "Could we hurry this along please? It's about time I return to my army."

Luigi smirked. "Aww, what's wrong? Are we retarding your surefire plans?"

As the skinny plumber began to walk towards Trowzer, Mario shoved his hand against Luigi's chest and held him back.

"No," he said, before he looked all around the hallway. "There's-there's something wrong here. There's gotta be some trap door, some kind of superpower. Cowards like Trowzer also have some trick up their sleeves."

Trowzer smiled. "What coward? I see no coward here; I see no traps in this room; I see no soldiers waiting to shoot you in the back! I have no gimmick, no magic weapon, no superpowers—nothing! I am perfectly capable of smashing your heads into a bloody pulp well on my own! So don't you dare stand there and call me a coward!"

Now Mario was smirking. "I'm sorry. Did we hit a nerve there, Trowzer?"

The oversized turtle grinned eerily and chuckled. "Tell ya what: I'll let you hit me first! I'll even turn my back on you so you know I won't block your attacks!"

Trowzer turned around and held out his arms, waiting for the heroes to hit him.

"Go ahead! I'm wide open!"

Mario scratched his head in confusion, but nevertheless, he needed to seize the opportunity.

"UH-UH! NO, NO, NO! TURN THE (CENSORED) AROUND RIGHT NOW!"

Mario huffed. "What for, Luigi? This guy's blatantly asking for us to attack first!"

"I don't care! Are you forgetting Sharktail? Are you forgetting what happened after we killed Gloomtail? If another animal tries to kill me with its farts I am going to punch a baby deer!"

Trowzer grinned and turned slightly. "Are you sure that's what you really want?"

"YES!"

The koopa sighed heavily before he turned and faced his foes, his arms hanging from his sides.

"Good…_now_ we can attack you."

Mario went first, with Luigi following behind. The second Mario got close to Trowzer's ugly mug, he jumped into the air and tried to kick him. The burly koopa effortlessly grabbed Mario's leg and snarled as he threw him against a column. Luigi performed his signature super jump punch move and hit Trowzer in the jaw, causing him to grunt. But that was all the skinny plumber could do. Trowzer wrapped his giant arms around Luigi's back and performed a bear hug. He squeezed so tightly that it began to hurt Luigi; the plumber actually screamed and whimpered as he tried to kick Trowzer in the face. The bulky enemy simply pressed Luigi close to his chest, burying the man's nose with his putrid scent, and promptly fell forward, flattening Luigi beneath his chest. Trowzer got up seconds later and swiftly performed the Bowser (or rather Trowzer) bomb move on Luigi, pinning the plumber underneath his heavy rear end. Luigi's eyes grew wide when hundreds of pounds of pressure felt onto his midriff, causing something in his body to crack. Mario finally recovered from his wound and grunted as he ran towards Trowzer. Despite his age and how bulky he was, Trowzer could move very fast. He whipped his body around and kicked Mario in the stomach just as he got close.

Mario lifted his hammer, but Trowzer snarled and bit down on Mario's wrist. The chubby plumber shouted and dropped the hammer; it was kicked away before Mario could pick it back up. Trowzer punched Mario in the face four times before head-butting him and stomping on his right foot. Mario opened his mouth and howled in agony before Trowzer slashed at his face with his claws. Luigi finally recovered from the Trowzer bomb and panted as he jogged towards Trowzer. Mario charged towards him as well, causing the burly koopa to grin. He hid in his shell and performed the whirling fortress attack, hitting both plumbers multiple times with his spiky shell. Before Mario could get back up, Trowzer inhaled deeply and opened his mouth wide. A giant stream of fire shot out of his mouth and flew in Mario's direction. He didn't even have time to scream before the plumber was engulfed in Trowzer's hot fiery breath. Trowzer exhaled for several seconds, making sure Mario got seriously burned and lost a substantial amount of health. Then the fire stopped coming out of the koopa's mouth and he raised his jaw. Mario was lying against one of the columns, his clothes and face darkened by the fire. He wasn't charred, but his face and red overalls certainly had a black tint to it. Mario coughed three times before he collapsed to the floor, breathing heavily.

Trowzer glanced over at Luigi and saw him staggering over towards him. Trowzer punched Luigi in the stomach and sent him to his knees. Before the plumber could get back up, Trowzer grabbed Luigi and tossed him against the column as well. He hit the column so hard that it cracked, and Luigi nearly lost consciousness. Trowzer flicked his eyes at the Mario Brothers over and over again before another eerie smile crept along his face. His half-brother's most notorious enemies were lying on the floor, beaten and on the verge of blacking out. Trowzer giggled a few times before he stared at the two fallen foes again. He opened his mouth and began to laugh loudly, his voice gradually echoing across the corridor.

"This…THIS is the enemy my brother has always had trouble defeating?! The infamous Mario Brothers who trounced a demon; the plumbers who have saved Mushroom Kingdom on several occasions?!"

Trowzer opened his mouth and started to laugh hysterically. The Mario Brothers grunted and kept opening and closing their eyes, struggling to get back on their feet. Trowzer couldn't stop laughing. His deep voice filled the whole corridor, sending chills through the plumbers' spines. Trowzer seemed like a kid laughing at another person's misfortune; he was even pointing at them, as if he wanted to blurt out "YOU SUCK!" The demented koopa stopped laughing for a brief moment so he could talk.

"Not even three minutes have passed! Is this the best you plumbers have got?! Is this the most amount of fighting you will do?! You've only punched me one time—ONE TIME! You-you-you're pathetic! You're both pathetic and weak!"

Luigi took much offense to that last comment and tried to stand. Grunting, Luigi lifted his left hand and managed to launch a green fireball at Trowzer's head. Trowzer grunted when the fireball hit him, then quickly ran towards Luigi and stomped on his left hand. Luigi howled in agony as Trowzer's massive foot came crashing down on his hand, possibly breaking a few bones. Mario tried to crawl to his aid, but Trowzer quickly kicked him in the face, sending him rolling onto his back. Trowzer grinned and quickly pressed his left foot down on Mario's face, smothering him with the stench of his rancid sole.

"Is this all you're good for: being my (censored) punching bag? Lying on the floor suffocating from my foot odor? Whimpering about your broken hand? Is that all, infamous Mario Brothers? IS THAT ALL?!"

Trowzer removed his foot, causing Mario to breathe in fresh air, before stomping down on the plumber's torso. Mario groaned and began to cough; the pain in his face made Trowzer howl with laughter again. Neither plumber could take his nightmarish laughs anymore. He sounded like a demonic child whose sense of humor came from bloody black comedy. Trowzer didn't even attack either plumber for an entire minute. He just held his stomach as he veered his head back and guffawed incessantly.

"Oh (censored), oh (censored), this is just too rich!"

Trowzer actually fell to his knees laughing and shut his eyes, unable to breathe properly. He slouched over to his side and nearly convulsed as his maniacal laughs filled the hallway.

"I'M GONNA DIE! YOU—HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He just wouldn't calm down, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn't until he started to cough violently that the koopa realized he was having too much fun. He shook his head and got out the last of his giggles before he stood back up and pointed at his foes, grinning widely.

"You're nothing! Worms, ants, spiders—insignificant insects that I squash beneath my feet! You're nothing but a fly hovering above my piece of (censored)! Why should I care about either of you, huh? Why should I care about your friends? Give me one reason why I should fear you!"

Luigi finally managed to get to his feet when Trowzer rammed his fist into the man, pinning him against the column he was just lying beside.

"Why aren't you fighting back? Why are you making this so easy for me? You're the heroes; you're supposed to beat me! This isn't the way the story goes! You beat me, and you save the world! WHY AREN'T YOU FIGHTING BACK?!"

Luigi didn't answer. He just coughed a few times and slid back down to the floor when Trowzer removed his fist. Trowzer grabbed an axe from the wall and walked over to Mario, waving it above his head.

"HERE! C'mon, you glorious hero! Attack me! Kill me! I'll help you—see? See this axe?"

Trowzer tossed the axe into the center of the room. Then he grabbed the back of Mario's overalls and tossed him over to the fallen weapon. The plumber shook his head and slowly opened his eyes when he saw the axe in front of him.

"GET IT! It's right there, hero! All you have to do is grab that weapon, stand up, and strike me with it!"

Mario grunted and panted a few times before he finally got to his knees and picked up the axe. Just as Mario finally got to his feet and turned around, Trowzer slashed his claws at Mario's face and easily knocked the axe away from his hands. Trowzer grabbed Mario by the throat and pinned him to the wall. Mario thrashed his legs around and gagged and coughed as Trowzer started to choke him with one hand.

"Why is it so hard for you guys to fight back?! Why can't you defeat me?! WHY?!"

Trowzer stared into Mario's eyes, watching as they were filled with terror. Suddenly, Trowzer laughed evilly and tossed the plumber over to the column his brother was lying against.

"HA! I know, I know, I know—you can't tell me why! That's fine; _I'll_ tell you! You can't defeat me because you're not strong enough! You've never faced an opponent who was equally matched! My brother? PAH! You defeated him all those times because he _let_ you win with his stupidity! Even then, you still weren't strong enough and you know it! When my brother acquired the Star Rod, he didn't just defeat you, he _killed_ you! Those star spirits brought you back to life! If it hadn't been for them, you would've died in that forest! Oh, and-and what about this demon you killed? My brother told me about your little adventure, how you 'saved the world'? I bet you some mysterious power came along and helped you win that fight too!"

Trowzer stood hovering over the two brothers before he growled deeply and crouched over them.

"You _cheated_. Neither of you are heroes. Everytime you've won your fights, it was because you had help! Maybe some spirit helped you; maybe you had some special items, but whatever it was, you only won because someone or something helped you! But you ain't got no help now, do ya?!"

Trowzer laughed evilly and grabbed Mario by the throat again with his two hands.

"I won, Mario! Not you, not Bowser, ME! I was the one who beat you! I did it! I DID IT! I! DID! IT!" he howled.

Luigi groaned as he glanced over at Trowzer and saw the demented koopa slamming his brother's head against the column with each syllable he pronounced.

"S…Stop…"

Trowzer dropped Mario and ran over to Luigi, crouching beside him and grabbing part of his overalls.

"YES! That word, Luigi. Say it again. Say it to my face. Beg me to stop."

Trowzer stared at the skinny plumber for a brief moment before he grew impatient.

"SAY IT! SAY ANYTHING! Tell me how annoying I am! Tell me that I'm a klutz like my brother! Make a comment about how bad my breath is! C'mon, Luigi, where's that snarky tone of yours?!"

"Stop…"

Trowzer grinned and waited for him to continue. "That's it. Now was that so—"

"Stop…running your (censored) mouth."

The plumber chuckled weakly before he shook his head. "It's…it's very boring."

Trowzer scoffed and tossed Luigi next to Mario's nearly unconscious body. The large koopa chuckled hoarsely before he sat down beside the wall, catching his breath.

"(Censored)…I-I haven't laughed that hard in years."

As Trowzer sat beside the wall catching his breath, he stared at the Mario Bros. who were on the brink of passing out. After catching his breath, he slowly walked over to Mario and watched as the plumber began to take a life shroom out of his overalls. Before Mario could put the mushroom in his mouth, Trowzer stepped on the plumber's wrist and stopped him.

"Why thank you, Mario. All this fighting has sure made me hungry."

Trowzer snatched the mushroom from Mario's hand and stuffed it into his mouth. He chewed on the fungus for a moment and gulped loudly. Then he crouched down beside Mario and lifted his head so he can speak with him. Mario caught wind of the koopa's nasty breath as he began to speak.

"Don't worry, Mario. I'm not going to kill you now. I can't…not after that pathetic performance. I know, I know; you're tired, exhausted from the fight against Sharktail. Maybe you underestimated me and didn't have time to heal. Whatever, it's fine. I must thank you though. This one-sided fight of ours reminded me of how my brother and I used to tussle around all the time. Don't you see? I can't kill you because you're just too much fun."

Trowzer started to grin again and chuckled. "I'm going to break you, Mario. I'm going to bring you and your brother to your knees. From here on out, you're my new toys, and I'm gonna play with you until I get bored or until you break. I'm gonna make your life a living hell. You're gonna be forced to watch others die; you're gonna be forced to make decisions that will get others killed; you're gonna watch towns, whole cities burn to the ground. By the time I'm finished tormenting you and all of your friends, you will be on your knees, crying and sniffling, _begging_ me to kill you. And then I'll spend the rest of my time torturing you, forcing you to stay alive until you can barely move. Then, and only then, will I kill you."

Mario groaned softly as Trowzer let go of his overalls and let him fall back to the floor.

"Don't die on me just yet, Mario."

Mario closed his eyes and rolled over to his brother's side. Luigi had lost consciousness from his wounds and was lying face-down beside the column. Mario groaned and sluggishly slid his way over to his unconscious brother, hoping he'd wake back up. But after the brief yet painful fight against Trowzer, it was no use. Mario was still stunned. How could the plumber survive an attack against a dragon, yet get trounced by a large koopa with a spiky shell? …Maybe Trowzer is right after all, thought Mario. After all, Gloomtail would've killed us if Geno hadn't shown up. Hell, he even killed Sharktail for us. As Mario began to pity himself over failing his mission, he groaned and slowly began to close his eyes. His will to fight was still strong, but his body just couldn't take any more damage. The plumber closed his eyes and blacked out. Trowzer stared at the two subdued plumbers and chuckled devilishly.

"Yes," he hissed. "It's all coming together. Now…I think it's time I get rid of my brother."


	41. It's Here

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Kooper, Geno, and Hooktail arrive at Yoshi's Island and are devastated at the condition of area; The Koopa Bros. learn of Dix's fate; Bowser and his forces take position for the impending attack; Trowzer begins his assault on Bowser's castle.

**It's Here**

"GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!"

Steve continued to inhale deeply until he couldn't inhale any longer. He dropped Black's left shoe and began to cough violently and breathe in as much fresh air as possible. One of Bowser's former guards stopped the stopwatch whilst the Koopa Bros. started to laugh hysterically. After having a conversation about Yellow, Red always talked about how they forced Yellow to sniff Black's shoes. One thing led to another, and Steve got dared into sniffing one of Black's shoes himself.

"Holy crap, thirty seconds!"

Black stopped rolling around on his shell and stood back up slowly, still laughing. "And on his first try too!"

"He's not even vomiting!" shouted Red.

Steve kept coughing and swayed a little as he got back to his feet and leaned beside a table. "Why the hell don't you ever change your socks, Black?!"

The ninjakoopa with a black bandanna wrapped around his eyes put his left shoe back on and finally stopped laughing to himself. "Same reason why no one changes their underwear or their shell!"

Steve coughed and shook his head. "They're lucky?"

"No, they're not. Black just thinks they are because he managed to get ten free drinks from the drink machine while wearing them," said Green.

"How do you know it's not your bandanna that's lucky? Or your shell?"

"Now, keep in mind, I also don't change my socks because it's so much fun daring all of you to sniff inside my shoes."

Steve sighed exasperatedly. "Of course that's why."

"…Hey maybe we should dare Dix to sniff your shoes now!"

As Red mentioned the wingless paratroopa's name, Green slowly frowned. He forgot all about the guy's conversation about Trowzer. The last time he spoke to him he seemed like he was on the verge of crying. And that little slip of Yellow only made Green that much more suspicious. Green knew he should try to find Dix—not just for this silly prank, but to question him more, and to get him to tell his other brothers what he knew.

"All right, fine. I'll go find him."

Like magic, a panting Shannon came storming down the hallway and walked past the room the Koopa Bros. and some of Bowser's former troops were in.

"Hey, Shannon!"

The dark koopa skidded to a halt and walked inside. "I've been looking for you guys. Trowzer needs to see you right now."

"Relax, Shannon," said Steve. "We were just—"

"Well, you're not anymore. This is too important—Trowzer needs all his troops this very second."

Steve scoffed. "Fine, we'll go see him."

"Good."

"Oh, hey. You seen Dix around?"

"Yeah. He's dead."

Everyone's attitude changed in an instant. The koopas who were even in a remotely lighthearted mood were filled with abrupt sadness and shock, Green especially. The koopa troopa who was timing Steve just leaned against the table and sighed.

"(Censored)," he said.

"What the (censored) happened?! I saw Dix not even an hour ago! He was fine!"

Shannon shrugged. "Didn't you hear those gunshots earlier?"

Green shook his head, causing Shannon to smirk. "Right. You guys were spending too much time sniffing each other's shoes and T-bagging each other."

"Just tell us what happened!" demanded Steve.

"Dix went insane. He slashed one of my guards' throats with a box cutter, then tried to steal from Trowzer. The guy shot a few other koopas in the process and killed them too. I had no choice."

"…You killed him?"

Shannon grinned and shrugged again. "He had a gun, and he clearly knew how to use it."

The rest of the koopas just stared at the dark koopa until he turned around and began to walk away.

"Go see Trowzer. Now!"

Steve balled his right hand into a fist and huffed. "Asshole…"

* * *

Green was breathing heavily and leaning against the bathroom wall, trying not to cry or burst with rage. He felt like smashing someone's head in and falling into Red's arms as he cried his eyes out. Green didn't even know what Dix might've known, what he might've had to fear Trowzer for. And now he would never get the chance to find out. Green sighed as he pressed his shell against the wall and slowly slid down onto the floor. As he mulled over the late Dix, Green had time to think about Yellow and his situation. Unlike Dix, he managed to get away from Trowzer. He managed to spend the last few days of his life in paradise. And yet somehow, he still wound up dead. The ninjakoopa whined, suddenly wishing that his younger brother was still alive. Before he began to reminisce any more, Steve opened up the bathroom door and stepped inside.

"Hey, Green! You…"

The koopatrol saw Green on the floor on the verge of crying and sighed heavily. Steve rubbed his head.

"Yeah, I know. It's (censored) up dude. …But what can you do?"

"Don't you even care?" asked Green, his voice nearly cracking.

"Of course I do. Dix was my friend, as much as he was yours. But when someone dies you…you can't really do anything about it anymore, Green. You mourn, you cry, you hug people you care about, and then you get over it."

"You don't get it, Steve! Dix came to me and told me something about Trowzer, something that might involve me and my brothers and the rest of us! He-he looked…I could've helped him, Steve."

"…Like I said, you just move on—"

"Is that what you did with Kasey too? You just moved on, forgot he even existed?"

Steve could see that he touched a sensitive nerve and sighed heavily. The koopatrol walked over to Green and sat down beside him.

"You wanna know what I saw a couple days ago? Benson eating a watermelon snow cone. At first I thought nothing of it—it's just ice and flavoring, right? But as I started to walk away from him, I remembered how Kasey always loved those snow cones. One time when we were teenagers, he bought a snow cone, but after he licked it just one time, the ball of ice fell out the cone and landed on the ground. We didn't have jobs at the time, so we ran back to our house and started digging through the couches looking for change, practically begging our dad to give us a few quarters. But he said no. We found some change but it still wasn't enough, so we went outside searching the streets for any loose change other koopas dropped. When we finally found a quarter, some bird swiped it out of Kasey's hand. We literally ran after the bird and tracked it to its nest for over ten minutes. I kept telling Kasey that we could just find another quarter and forget about the damn snow cone, but he kept running."

"So what happened?"

"Oh, we got the quarter. Kasey, the idiot that he was, climbed up a tree and stole it from the bird's nest; he almost broke his neck when the branch he stood on snapped. Anyways, we headed over and got another snow cone from the guy selling them. You wanna know what happened next?"

"What?"

"Kasey tripped over his feet and dropped the snow cone. I was on the ground laughing so hard I nearly pissed my shell."

Despite how distraught Green was, he couldn't help but laugh himself, knowing that something similar happened to Yellow once. Steve sighed and shook his head.

"I didn't realize until I saw Benson eating that snow cone how much I really miss Kasey. It's little things like that that hit me, y'know?"

"…Yeah."

"I'm not saying you should forget about Dix—or Yellow, for that matter. But neither of them want you to spend the rest of your life mourning them. They want you to continue your life and remember them as they were. That's all I'm saying Green."

The ninjakoopa exhaled and rubbed his head. He finally began to stand and sniffled, blinking away his tears.

"…All right. We'll mourn Dix after we do whatever Trowzer needs us for."

Steve grunted as he stood up. "Good. Let's go before Trowzer's lap-dog blows a gasket."

* * *

When the Koopa Bros. and some of Bowser's turncoat troops entered the main chamber Trowzer's troops were getting prepared in, they were shocked. All the koopas and any other soldier loyal to Trowzer were arming themselves with weapons that many koopas had never seen before. They were carrying guns, and not just the ray guns and super scopes that appeared during Brawl tournaments. The guards were armed with handguns, shotguns, assault rifles and more. A few of them were stuffing grenades or motion-sensor bombs into their shells, while others were checking to see if their guns were fully loaded. A couple of guards even went as far as putting body armor on just in case Bowser's team knew how to use guns too.

"Uh…did we just warp into a crossover _24_ fanfic?" asked Steve.

Shannon glanced over at Bowser's apprehensive guards. He was wearing body armor too. "Don't just stand there. Grab something and get ready!"

Some of Bowser's former guards didn't know how to use these weapons. But after realizing how much fun it could be wielding them in a gunfight, they ran ahead and snatched the biggest weapon they could find. Black headed over to a crate of shotguns and pulled one out, admiring the size of it. He glanced up ahead and noticed two Yoshis he was certain were brothers. One of them was red, sinewy and had gentle blue eyes. The other Yoshi was a blue bulky brute with unsettling red eyes that looked like they had been taken straight from a nightmare. He figured it was best to avoid them for now, and went over to collect ammo for his weapon. Meanwhile, Red stumbled upon a female koopa wearing a red shell and had yellow hair. Red greeted her the way he typically would.

"Holy crap, there's a girl here!"

The koopa looked up at Red and flared her nostrils. "And just what does _that_ mean?"

Red could tell by her tone that he pissed her off. "No, no, no, I-I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying, uh…you know."

"No, I don't."

"There just…I haven't seen that many females lately. It's nice to know I'm not surrounded by guys all the time and that there are actually females around here who know—"

"You keep using that word 'female' in a rather degrading and uncomfortable way. Do you have a problem with saying 'women'?"

"No! I-I just—"

"I'm just going to go ahead and tell you right from the get-go that we are not going to have sex. We're not going to sleep with each other. We're not going to kiss each other. We're not even going to hug."

"But I didn't come here wanting to—"

"The fact that you ran up to me so quickly tells me you were probably in prison and only had men for company, if you catch my drift—"

"No, it doesn't!"

"—or maybe you're a virgin, and you want to lose your virginity as soon as possible. Either way, you don't really like me, and you never will. You're just trying to get your hands down my shell. So from this point on, if you speak to me, it better be regarding our upcoming missions, and nothing else. Are we clear?"

Red, shockingly, stopped protesting and nodded. "Yeah, that's cool. I understand perfectly."

"Good."

"You're a lesbian."

The red-shelled koopa troopa just stared at Red for a moment, not even blinking. Before Red even had time to turn around and walk away, the koopa punched him in the eye so hard that he shouted and fell on his shell. Red covered his right eye with his right hand and began to groan and whine as he rolled around on the floor. Green and Steve walked past the fallen ninjakoopa, not even bothering to ask what happened. They stood in front of Shannon, who was glancing over at the clock on the wall, wondering when Trowzer would return.

"Okay, we're here now. You wanna tell us what's with all this weaponry?" asked Steve.

"Since you really must know, we're going to take over Bowser's castle as soon as Trowzer shows up."

"But what for? Trowzer already has his own castle, and with the way things are going, it's like we already own Bowser's castle," said Green.

Shannon shrugged. "We have no use for Bowser anymore. Why should our two leagues be cramped up inside one castle? Trowzer thought it'd be best if we simply rule this one as well. They haven't been helping us lately anyways."

Steve huffed. "So what then? We're gonna walk right up to Bowser and his troops, wave these big guns around and force them to leave or take them prisoner?"

The grin that appeared on Shannon's face was so eerie that it sent a chill down the koopatrol's spine.

"No, Steve. We're gonna walk right up to Bowser and his troops, wave these big guns around, and then kill everyone in sight."

Steve and Green simply stared at the dark koopa, their eyes the size of dinner plates.

"…HOLY (CENSORED) (CENSORED)."

* * *

Hooktail stopped flapping her wings and landed softly on a patch of dirt and grass. Kooper and Geno quickly jumped off the red dragon and began to come up with a plan.

"Okay, first off…"

Kooper's jaw hung from his mouth. Not even two feet away from him, a yellow Yoshi was lying face down in the grass with a knife in the back of his neck. Just beside him a pink Yoshi was lying on her side with two bullet holes in the chest. Kooper took two steps forward and spun around in a circle. They were at the start of the Monkey World area, and the whole place was laden with dead Yoshis or grinders—the monkeys that inhabited this part of the island.

"What the hell happened here?!" asked Hooktail.

"Damnit…we're too late…" mumbled Geno.

"No! No, no, there's…someone's still alive. There has to be! Wouldn't Trowzer's men take hostages as leverage or slaves?"

"Yes, you have a point there. Although with all these bodies around here, I'm seriously regretting that the Mario Bros. didn't come with us."

"It's too late for that now. C'mon, let's look for any survivors. And don't crush any of their bodies with your giant feet!"

Hooktail snorted. "Hmph! Like I really want a dead Yoshi's guts smeared all over my toes."

The trio continued to slowly walk through the Monkey World, being careful not to desecrate any of the Yoshi or grinder cadavers they stumbled across. It was very gloomy around Yoshi's Island; the clouds were thick and gray, blocking out all the sunlight. The whole place reeked of dead Yoshi's and an unpleasant dragon scent. Kooper even found a large pile of dragon dung with bones caked inside, the sight of which almost made him vomit. By the time they finally reached the mud-filled area that was normally teeming with monkeys and tiny frogs, the trio had to stop just to prepare themselves for what lied ahead. Kooper leaned against a brown pole stuck in the mud and began to breathe heavily, leaning over and pressing his hands on his knees. Geno seemed to be tolerating the atmosphere more, in large part because the foul stench of the place couldn't affect him. Hooktail looked in the mud, sniffing various bodies and scowling at how rank they were. She rolled a few bodies over with the claws on her feet, sighing and shaking her head.

"Such a shame really…all these dead Yoshis."

"Do you see now, Hooktail? Don't you understand all the pain and destruction that Trowzer is capable of?"

"Yes, I know. Killing helpless Yoshis is cruel, but this is just annoying now! His men could've at least left one Yoshi alive for me to eat!"

Kooper slowly glanced up at the dragon. "What did you say?"

"What? All that flying made me hungry. Do you guys honestly expect me to sit here and eat a rotting Yoshi's corpse? Prey tastes better when it's alive."

"…You (censored) (CENSORED)!"

Hooktail's eyes grew wide, shocked at the foul word the koopa just spat at her. She snarled and stomped towards the blue-shelled turtle.

"What the hell did you just call me?!"

Geno quickly ran in-between the two as they stomped towards each other, ready to fight. "Now is not the time!"

"That slime ball just called me—"

"I know what he said, Hooktail!"

"This whole island has been attacked by bloodthirsty koopas and all you care about is your goddamn stomach?! How dare you stand there and treat these innocent creatures like a wasted meal!" shouted Kooper.

"Pfft! Like they care; they're dead. But maybe you're right—I should apologize!"

"Hooktail—"

"No, no, no, let's-let's give it a try. Hey, dead Yoshi! I'm real sorry about saying you're a decaying blob of flesh that I can no longer nibble on. Do you accept my apology?"

Kooper and Geno just watched as Hooktail stared at a deceased brown Yoshi who was missing half of his face. After a while, Hooktail nudged the body with her claw, and the cold carcass merely rolled over onto its back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Can you speak up?"

"(CENSORED)!"

"Say that word again! Say it again and watch what happens!"

"(CEN—)"

Geno clamped Kooper's mouth shut. "SHUT UP!"

The dragon stopped approaching Kooper as the doll started to take control of the situation.

"We are on an island full of dead dinosaurs and quite possibly hostile koopas armed with machine guns. We don't have time for all this useless bickering! Hooktail, do not desecrate any of these bodies! Do not eat them, do not sit on them, do not squash them, do not defecate on them, do not put them in your mouth—nothing! And stop running your mouth and baiting Kooper, or I'll show you first hand just how painful a Geno Whirl can be!"

Hooktail lowered her tail and growled gutturally. "Fine."

Geno took his hand off Kooper's mouth, and the koopa promptly spat another degrading comment at the dragon. "That's right! From now on—"

"Shut up, Kooper! We don't need you antagonizing the situation either! Stop running your mouth, stop swearing at the top of your lungs, and don't ever call Hooktail that word I am not going to repeat again! Neither of you seem to realize that this island is hostile. There could be enemies sitting in the trees watching us as we speak. Shouting at each other and bickering over foul language or stepping on a body will do nothing but create noise, which means we will be giving away our position!"

Kooper took a deep breath and exhaled, the anger slowly drifting away from his body. "Fine, Geno…I'll calm down."

"Good. Now…my guess is that Trowzer's commandos probably has a trail or a pile of dead Yoshis lying somewhere here. Given their savagery, I'm sure all the bodies are a sign telling any rescuers to stay away. So if we follow trails that have more Yoshi carcasses in them, chances are we will find a small group of the commandos probably lounging around."

"You want us to _follow_ the pile of dead bodies?"

"Got a better idea Kooper? As much as I'd love to search for the survivors from the sky, flying with Hooktail will give away our position very quickly, so we're gonna have to walk."

"Okay…let's get going then."

The two heroes and the dragon started to walk through the mud-filled area of the Monkey World. Geno and Kooper occasionally had to jump over the muddy pits of water whilst Hooktail just stepped over them, or hovered across without gaining too much altitude. Throughout their quest, Kooper didn't say anything to Hooktail, and vice versa. They stayed true to their words and didn't cause a ruckus—at least one not loud enough for enemies to hear. But the red dragon couldn't help but toy with the blue-shelled koopa some more. Grinning, the dragon walked forward until she was only a few inches away from Kooper. Kooper could feel the dragon's body heat on his shell, but he merely blinked and continued to walk alongside Geno. Hooktail suddenly opened her mouth and began to exhale on the back of Kooper's head, making the koopa feel very uncomfortable. At first Kooper thought she was going to eat him, but after a few more puffs, the koopa realized that she was deliberately breathing on him just to piss him off. He managed to tolerate it for two minutes before balling his left hand into a fist.

"Geno?"

"What?"

"Will you please tell Hooktail to move back a few feet? Her foul breath is about to make me keel over."

"Hooktail, move back a few feet."

The dragon closed her mouth and did as she was told. "Sorry. Just thought Kooper was a bit chilly. It's pretty cold out here, y'know."

Kooper growled without opening his mouth and continued walking. They arrived at a steep hill overlooking one of the great lakes in Monkey world and stopped when Kooper noticed a few dead commandos lying on the ground.

"Well, at least some of the Yoshis began to fight back."

Geno and Kooper searched the bodies, noticing that most of them had received nasty head wounds or were slashed or stabbed with a blunt object. One of them even had teeth marks around its throat. Kooper stole a pair of binoculars from one of the commandos, but he found no weapons, or even ammo.

"All their weapons are gone."

"That's a good thing. The Yoshis probably took them and are using them to defend themselves."

Kooper sighed with relief. "At least _someone's_ alive…"

The koopa heard someone or something rustling in a bush and glanced up ahead. An arm was sticking out the bottom of the leaves. Kooper curiously walked forward and spread the leaves apart, checking to see if someone was hiding. But the grotesque mass of flesh he found simmering in the leaves clearly didn't appear to be alive. Kooper groaned and backed away, breathing heavily as he hurriedly backed away from the bush. He retched and covered his mouth with his arm, coughing.

"You find something?" asked Geno.

Kooper shook his head. "It-it's-it's not important."

"But there could be a weapon—"

"Trust me, Geno; there's nothing over there!"

Geno could tell by the way Kooper was retching that whatever was in the bush was something that would horrify him forever. The doll and koopa regrouped with the dragon and slid down the muddy hill, arriving right at the lake. They used the tops of the trees that grew underwater as stepping stones before they reached a muddy section of land stuck in the middle of the water.

"Stop! You guys hear that?" asked Geno.

"Hear what?" asked Hooktail.

Geno scanned the horizon before he saw smoke rising from the ground far away. "Give me those binoculars."

The blue-shelled koopa handed the binoculars over to the doll, and Geno used them to get a closer look at where the smoke was coming from. Meanwhile, Hooktail stepped dangerously close to Kooper again and opened her mouth. Only this time, she waited until saliva formed in her maw. Afterwards, she lowered her jaw and growled as a thick trail of drool dripped down from her mouth and landed right on top of Kooper. The koopa grunted and felt his scalp with one hand before he looked up and noticed where the drool was coming from. Another thick glob hit Kooper in the face, making him growl.

"Geno…"

"What?"

"Will you please tell Hooktail to stop drooling all over me?"

Geno sighed with exasperation. "Hooktail, move back and close your mouth."

The dragon did as she was told. "Sorry…guess I thought I smelled meat roasting over a fire and my mouth began to water."

Kooper swore under his breath, but Hooktail heard part of it. She waited another minute before she walked forward and opened her mouth again. This time she stuck out her tongue and licked the koopa from tail to head. Kooper yelped and shivered as the warm tongue traveled up his shell. Hooktail promptly snickered quietly and licked the koopa on his shell again.

"GENO!"

"Oh my God," said the doll, smacking the palm of his hand against his forehead.

"She's licking—"

"What?! You had a large bug on your head; I was getting it off! Surely you wouldn't want me to use my feet to pluck it off? I might accidentally crush you."

Geno jerked around and fired bullets from his elbow up at the dragon's snout. Hooktail shouted before shaking her head and snorting.

"What was that—"

"Do you want me to show you how deadly a Geno Whirl is or not?!"

Hooktail huffed. "Fine, I'll stop."

"You guys need to stop yelling or else someone—"

Something ruffled in the bushes nearby. And unlike what Kooper saw, whatever was in this bush was alive and well. The trio turned to look at the bush and heard the leaves rustling again. Whatever it was, it was about to attack.

"…Oh crap."

* * *

"JERRY! Where the hell are you?!"

The koopatrol quickly snorted and stood up, resuming his duties as guarding the door leading into Peach's room.

"Hey, hey boss! I, uh, I wasn't sleepin' or anything."

"Shut up and move. I need to speak with the princess."

"Oh? Are you gonna tell her that you decided to give me my old job back?"

"No, Jerry. Now get out the way."

Jerry sighed dejectedly and moved to his right. Bowser walked forward and burst through the door, where he found the princess pacing back and forth in her room. She gasped, startled by the large koopa's sudden appearance.

"Oh, it's just you. What do you want this time Bowser?"

"I need you to leave."

The princess stared at the behemoth and blinked. "You're joking."

"No, I'm not! Something bad is about to happen, and I need you to be safe. So I'm having two of my guards escort you out the castle; they'll take you somewhere far away until all this mess is sorted out."

"Since when do you care about my safety?"

"I always have! Why else would I leave you inside your luxurious room where you have the free will to do whatever you want?"

"That doesn't change the fact I'm still prisoner."

Bowser huffed. "I don't have time for this! Just leave this room so my guards can take you out the building!"

"Why? Why should I believe that you suddenly are concerned about my well-being?"

"Because I—"

Bowser stopped himself before a certain regrettable word spilled out his mouth. He just stuttered and looked at the princess with wide eyes, not realizing that his cheeks were turning a little red. He looked like a nervous teenager who was trying to ask a beautiful girl out on a date. Peach frowned and finally understood.

"Oh my God, you _do_ care."

"NO! No, I didn't say that!"

"You said you did just a few seconds ago!"

Now Bowser was really blushing. "That-that-that doesn't count! It doesn't—you put words in my mouth!"

"Words you didn't deny."

"I—you…see…that…" Bowser continued to stammer until he shouted with frustration and shook his head. "Listen to me! My brother is going to plan an attack on this castle! And my gut is telling me that he is going to kill everyone on sight. That includes you, Peach! Even worse, he might spare you just so he can use you as a sex slave! Is that really what you want: walking around naked, having to worry about Trowzer or one of his guards raping you the first chance any one of them gets?"

"You really think—"

"I _KNOW_ he is capable of that! A lot of my troops think he killed my son or was at least responsible. I can't have you sitting here exposed to that monster. That's why I'm telling you that you need to leave!"

"…So this has nothing to do with you caring about me? You just don't want Trowzer to own me; you want to keep me to yourself?"

Bowser thought about answering, but instead he frowned and turned around. He folded his arms and began to pout.

"Hmph! That's exactly right! It's nothing more than sibling rivalry. I only want you gone so my brother won't have you and beat me at my own game, that's all."

The princess, somehow, managed to smile, finding Bowser's stubborn and embarrassed attitude to be cute. She liked that the giant koopa had a funny, sensitive side, and even liked it better that she knew how to push the right buttons.

"If you say so Bowser. All right, since you asked so 'nicely,' I'll leave."

"Good…and I won't miss you either!" he added, in a failed attempt to sound cold-hearted.

Peach continued to smile and began to walk past Bowser. As she reached the door, she turned around and said one last goodbye.

"Take care, Bowser."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Oh and, uh…"

"Yes?"

Bowser was so embarrassed that he looked down at his feet. He muttered so softly and so incoherently that even Bowser couldn't hear what he said.

"What'd you say?"

Bowser said it again a little louder this time, but still not loud enough for the princess to hear. But Peach could tell by the way Bowser shuddered and how red his face was that whatever he said was too kind and heartwarming for the koopa to take in. Peach just giggled and smiled again.

"Okay, Bowser."

The princess exited the room and was taken away by the two guards. Bowser took a deep breath and sighed heavily, still discomfited at what he said. When he finally looked up, a large yellow star floated over his head and quickly headed out the room right before the door closed.

"…The hell was that?"

* * *

Junior was pacing back and forth, breathing heavily as he twirled a ray gun around in his right hand. Suddenly, Bowser stepped into the chamber, panting heavily and trying to get past the awkward situation.

"What happened to you, Dad? Your whole face is red."

"Shut up! Just tell me where we are with our defenses!"

"Right. Half of the koopatrols have been assigned to their positions; all they're doing now is waiting. But some of the troops haven't set up yet, and Tutankoopa is still rounding up his chain chomps for his surprise attack."

"What about Croco?"

"Yeah, he's here too. But judging by some of the missing money bags…"

Bowser growled. "He may have just come here to rob us."

"Aww, c'mon, Bowser! I thought you'd have a little more faith in me than that!"

Bowser and Junior turned around and saw the talking crocodile standing beside the door with three crooks, smirking.

"…When'd you get here?" asked General Guy.

"The how and when doesn't matter. You said you need some sort of explosives expert?"

"Exactly. I need you and your crooks to set up a trap in some of the hallways of my castle. I don't care what you have to do or how many bob-ombs you need. Just make it happen!"

"Whatever you say boss! I'm sure the four of us can whip something up."

"…Don't you even wanna know why we called you here?"

The purple crocodile shrugged. "That's not my problem. As long as I get to blow stuff up, I don't really care."

Junior smirked. "You don't even care if we don't pay—"

The young koopa grunted; for some reason, it felt like someone just punched him in the back. Three of the shy guys in the room grunted as well and felt the same thing Junior did. Everyone glanced at where Croco and his crooks were standing and noticed they had suddenly left. The troops heard a mischievous laughter from the ceiling and looked up to see Croco's head sticking out of an open air vent. He grinned and lowered a money bag just far enough for everyone to see.

"Don't worry about paying me. You already have. See you fools later!"

The crocodile disappeared into the vents along with his three crooks. Bowser closed his eyes and growled, wondering if he made a mistake hiring the reptile.

"I'm getting my money back, right?" asked Junior.

Bowser ignored him. "What are all you shy guys armed with, General Guy?"

The army shy guy lifted a heavy bag from the floor and spilled its contents all over the table. Everyone in the room listened to the loud clattering and watched as several giant stones were spread all over the brown table.

"…Stones?"

"Really big stones."

"My brother has an entire army with us and you think a bag of stones will defend us?!" roared Bowser.

"All my spy guys are armed with slingshots. I've replaced their puny pebbles with these very large, very heavy stones. Believe it or not, but someone slinging a stone at your head can knock out your teeth or give you brain damage. Hell, you may end up in a coma or could get killed."

"That doesn't change the fact that they're STONES, GENERAL GUY!"

General Guy sighed with annoyance before he picked up another sack. "That's why I also armed my men with these."

General Guy spilled all the contents in the second sack onto the table as well, revealing dozens of serrated teeth.

"What are those: shark teeth? How's that gonna help us?" asked Junior.

"Not shark teeth. Chain chomp teeth. A crazed anti guy I know who's a chain chomp hunter goes around tearing all the teeth out of the chain chomps he kills. And he was kind enough to give me thousands of them."

"Sir, I know that these—OW!"

The yellow shy guy who reached out to touch one of the teeth wound up pricking his finger. It started to bleed almost instantly, causing the shy guy to suck on the wound.

"You see? Some of these teeth are sharp enough to pierce through flesh just by touching them. I know some of these teeth are thin, but they're also very long. So even if the wound isn't big, if someone gets stabbed in the gut with one of these, they'll most likely end up dying of an infection because of how deep the wound is. If my shy guys put _these_ in their slingshots—"

"Then it'll be like having a bow and arrow…clever," said Bowser, with a grin on his face.

General Guy laughed. "Yes, it is."

"Does anyone else have anything—"

Before Junior could finish, a blue-shelled Boomerang Bro. burst into the chamber, panting.

"Bowser, we got a serious problem!"

"What is it now?"

"The…all of Trowzer's troops are gone, sir. They just disappeared! Some dark koopa gathered up all their men and took them to some secret meeting!"

"Well, good. Now we can prepare without worrying about them spying on us," said Junior.

"…Not necessarily," said General Guy. "What if this dark koopa rounded up the troops so he could get them equipped with the weapons to kill us? What if he called all the troops together so they could attack us with full force from all sides?!"

Bowser's eyes grew wide. "Get everyone ready now!"

"But, sir! We still haven't finished going over all the plans yet!" said the Boomerang Bro.

"I don't care! We're out of time; get all of our troops ready right now!"

* * *

Trowzer opened up the door leading into the chamber Shannon and all the other koopas were arming themselves in. Shannon looked up at the blue-shelled brute and grinned.

"That's amazing! You barely even have a scratch on you!"

"Of course I don't. I got into a fight with two plumbers with thick moustaches, nothing more."

Trowzer walked over to a weapons crate and started to take out a couple of guns. Black hurried over to Trowzer, looking quite worried.

"So, uh, about this siege—"

"It's a little too late to back out, Black."

"But…sir, many of the troops who work for Bowser used to be our friends. Some of us aren't comfortable going up against them, let alone killing them!"

Trowzer turned and looked at the ninjakoopa before he grinned. "Friends?"

"Yes, sir. I-I don't know if I can—"

"Friends?" he said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

The gang of troops stopped loading their weapons and checking their gear when the giant koopa stood next to the door. Somehow, he could be seen by everyone in the room, as though he suddenly grew taller and larger.

"There are no friends beyond that door! Only enemies! I know that many of you used to work for Bowser, but you made the smart choice and switched sides. Everyone outside this door sees you as scum, sees you as a traitor. Bowser and his troops want nothing more than to put your severed heads on a pike! They have been plotting behind our backs this whole time while my smug brother just stand by and smiles at me, acting like nothing's wrong! I say it's time we get rid of my brother and take this castle for ourselves!"

Many of Trowzer's troops began to cheer, but Trowzer held up a hand for everyone to be silent.

"But first…we have to do this quietly. We are all snakes, gentlemen, and we must strike at all the rabbits in the field of grass before our presence is known. So wait before you cheer and chant my name at the victory we _will_ achieve tonight. Don't worry…I assure you that in the next few hours, the walls in this castle will be stained with the blood of our enemies!"

Most of the koopas desperately had to hold back their cheers, and could only grin at the sweet thought of slaughtering every single one of Bowser's troops. But koopas like Steve and the Koopa Bros. could only keep quiet and lower their head in shame, deeply regretting becoming part of the insane turtle's impending massacre. Trowzer laughed evilly before he took a handheld radio from his shell and turned it on.

"Fred, have you cleared the route for Team Beta yet?"

The dark koopa standing inside the chamber a few floors beneath Trowzer's team was busy working on maintenance equipment alongside another dark koopa. Both of them were working for Bowser, but Fred was secretly spying for the overlord's evil brother, and now it was time for him to fully switch sides. Fred turned around to make sure the coast was clear; his partner was in the bathroom. When he realized he was alone, Fred took out his radio and responded.

"Relax, sir. All I gotta do is move one of these pedestals and get rid of the koopa in here."

"Don't take too long."

"Gotcha."

Right when Fred responded, his partner walked out of a door and reappeared inside the dank and dark tunnel with four large stone pedestals that had Bowser's face carved on them.

"What was that?"

Fred stuffed the radio back in his shell. "Nothing, nothing, just thought I saw something."

"It was probably just a dry bones. Don't worry about them; they won't bother you. Now help me get this pedestal bobby-trapped."

Fred watched as the guard stood in front of the pedestal on the far right and began to pick out the eyes with a knife. Fred crept behind the dark koopa and stared at him.

"So what did Bowser instruct us to do again?"

"We're gonna set up lasers inside the eye-sockets, so if any of Trowzer's troops come by, they'll get zapped almost instantly. Bowser wants us to put flamethrowers inside the statues' mouths too, so you can work on that."

Fred took a knife out his shell and slowly walked towards the dark koopa. "I'll get right on that."

Before his partner could saw another word, Fred stabbed him in the back of the neck. The turtle groaned out loud before he fell against the pedestal and slouched towards the floor. Fred bent down and removed the knife from the koopa's throat before wiping off the blood. He walked over to the pedestal on the far left of the hallway and grunted as he pushed it towards the right. The pedestal rumbled and groaned as dust and gravel fell from the top of it and down onto the dark koopa's head. Behind the pedestal was a secret passageway that Team Beta had been hiding behind all along. Most of the team consisted of Hammer Bros., Boomerang Bros., and even a couple of Fire Bros. The whole team was led by a dark koopatrol who seemed taller than the rest of his troops. All the koopas stepped out of the passageway and regrouped with Fred.

"Took you long enough," said the dark koopatrol.

"Shut it. We're still on schedule. Now give me a gun and radio in Trowzer."

The dark koopatrol nodded and gestured for one of his Boomerang Bros. to give Fred a submachine gun. After he did, the dark koopatrol took out his own radio and reported to Trowzer.

"This is Team Beta. We're clear on our end. Beginning assault."

"Good. Just remember not to get caught until you arrive at one of the main corridors or chambers," said Trowzer.

The blue-shelled koopa put his radio back into his shell and grinned. "Suppressors on."

Everyone took their weapons and twisted their silencers onto the end of whatever gun they were carrying.

"Uh, what's a suppressor?" asked Red.

The female koopa who punched him in the eye earlier huffed. "That long grey cylinder in your hand."

"Right…and how do you put these on?"

The red-shelled koopa snatched the weapon from Red's hand and screwed the suppressor on for him. Then she promptly shoved it back into his hands, making him grunt.

"Remember team: try not to make a sound," said Trowzer.

* * *

Two spy guys were walking back and forth inside a corridor, armed with heavy stones and a couple of chain chomp teeth. One of the spy guys turned around and began to walk towards one of the doors. Suddenly, he yelped and heard something slicing into flesh. The spy guy looked down in horror and noticed that something very sharp and metal was sticking out of his chest. Someone had just impaled him from behind. The other spy guy saw his partner fall to the floor and quickly whipped out his slingshot. But it was useless. Shannon and the rest of Trowzer's team appeared. Trowzer's second-in-command spared no time gunning down the spy guy with his submachine gun, causing him to groan and collapse on the floor.

"Clear," whispered Shannon.

The rest of the troops walked down the hallway, crouching slightly and making sure they didn't create too much noise. They turned left and stumbled upon two red magikoopas who were busy hauling files into another room. Benson quickly lifted his silenced pistol and shot both of them in the head. One of the yellow magikoopas heard the bodies drop and suddenly appeared from one of the rooms on the left side of the hall. The second after he opened the door and saw the bodies, the red Yoshi with blue eyes ran up ahead, knife in his right hand.

"What—URGH!"

The yellow magikoopa groaned and gurgled as the red Yoshi mercilessly stabbed him in his throat. The magikoopa's body was still twitching despite all the blood pouring down his neck, so the red Yoshi promptly stabbed him again beneath the chin. He let out one final gurgle before his eyes closed and he stopped moving. The red Yoshi sighed and let go of the magikoopa before returning to the team. He stood beside his blue brother and grinned.

"Oh gee, would you look at that? I got the first kill before you did," he whispered.

The blue Yoshi snorted. "Just you wait, Brother. By the end of tonight, _I'll_ be the one with the biggest body count."

Black briefly stopped walking, and then decided to move far away from the Yoshis. Killing someone in self-defense or to avoid suspicion was one thing, but these guys simply killed for entertainment. Trowzer was at the lead of the team when he approached an open door and instructed everyone to freeze. Signaling with his right hand, he ordered two Hammer Bros. to come forward. One armed himself with a knife, while the other was holding his famous hammer that could crush giant blocks made of stone. Trowzer peered into the open room and saw five koopa troopas inside, all of them busy adjusting files and getting their weapons ready.

"You take the left; you get the one on the right. I'll take out everyone else," whispered Trowzer.

"(Censored)," said the koopa troopa standing beside a desk. "Did you hear that?"

Another koopa troopa shook his head. "Relax, Kathy. You're just paranoid; we're fine."

Trowzer and the two Hammer Bros. waited for a brief moment before they finally crept into the room. Everything happened in only a few seconds. One Hammer Bros. ran up to a koopa troopa with his back turned and covered his mouth with his left hand. He tilted his head back, exposing the veins in his neck, and then he used the knife in his right hand to sever most of the arteries. The koopa troopa let out a gurgled moan as he began to choke on his own blood. At the same time, the other Hammer Bros. crept behind another turtle and whacked him on the skull. The koopa shouted and grabbed the back of his head, feeling blood. He staggered and took two steps forward before the Hammer Bro. grunted and whacked him on the head again. As the koopa troopa fell to his knees, the remaining three koopas turned to the open doorway and saw Trowzer stepping inside. The blue-shelled koopa aimed his suppressed handgun at two of the troops and shot them in the chest, his bullets easily penetrating their shells. The Hammer Bro. kept whacking at the back of the subdued koopa's head, cracking his skull and causing lots of blood to splatter all over his face and the floor. It wasn't until the Hammer Bro. heard a disturbing squish and noticed that he exposed something of a pinkish-gray color that the Hammer Bro. finally stopped. Meanwhile, Trowzer pointed his pistol at Kathy, who had her right hand on a knife.

"Put the knife down, Kathy."

The koopa stared at Trowzer, breathing heavily, knowing that she'd end up dead even if she did what he demanded. But the koopa had a gun lying on the counter behind her. Maybe if she was quick enough, she could shoot the guy before he got off a shot. Kathy dropped the knife and jerked her left arm backwards, grabbing the handgun. But just as she lifted it, Kathy grunted and fell backwards onto the floor. Her plan failed, and Trowzer wound up shooting her in the chest.

"Clear."

The Hammer Bro. who was holding the koopa troopa with a slit throat dropped his body and exhaled. Trowzer and the two Hammer Bros. rejoined with the team and they continued their journey. None of the team members encountered any hostiles, although the two Yoshi brothers were hoping that they'd stumble across someone soon. When they reached the end of the hallway, Trowzer and his team noticed that a large, locked red door was sitting in front of them.

"This must be the first main corridor. Get the bob-ombs ready."

* * *

From the other side of the door, the shy guys and koopatrols armed themselves, panting as they heard a commotion outside. One of the shy guys pressed his ear against the door, thinking he could hear something. But after a brief moment, the clattering ceased, and all they could hear was silence. The shy guy waited an entire minute before he backed away from the door and sighed heavily.

"False alarm."

"It can't be," said a senior spy guy. "Trowzer wouldn't let a measly door stand in his way."

"I don't know what to tell you. I can't hear—"

Everyone in the room was knocked over by the force of the explosion. Two green shy guys who stood close to the door were blown across the room. They landed on the floor, their bodies partially charred; neither of them would get up again. As everyone began to get to their feet, they coughed and waved hands in front of their faces in order to fan the smoke away. Trowzer appeared, walking very slowly with an assault rifle in his hands, grinning. He pointed his weapon at the shy guy who had his ear against the door and drilled him full of holes. Soon, several other members in Trowzer's army appeared from the smoke, all carrying weapons that were pointed at them. The once quiet room was filled with incoherent shouting and gunfire; all of Trowzer's men had taken off their suppressors. There was no need to be quiet or stealthy now.

"CONTAAAAAACT!" shouted the senior spy guy.

Trowzer's army was cutting down the shy guys and koopatrols with ease. Some of them were still stunned by the explosion and were just getting up. Others were unprepared, and poorly armed themselves with shaky hands. Trowzer and his second-in-command slowly walked forward, only stopping to reload their weapons when necessary. At the rate they were going, they'd end up taking the room in only a matter of minutes. Suddenly, a loud crack was heard; something bounced off the floor and slid by Trowzer's foot. Before Trowzer could figure out what the object was, another object actually hit him on his left foot, bouncing off his toes. He shouted in pain and clumsily hopped to his right on one foot. The giant koopa swore before he took cover behind a large column, pinning his shell to the stone. Trowzer glanced to his right and saw another one of his troops get clocked in the head by a mysterious object. He landed on his shell and didn't get back up. Moments later, the air was filled with objects being hurled towards Trowzer's troops. He could see them now: thick stones and pointy teeth being hurled from slingshots. More troops on Trowzer's side began to fall, and many of them quickly sprinted for cover. Shannon threw himself face-down on the floor and army-crawled his way over to his leader, panting.

"(Censored)…I think it's safe to say we underestimated them, sir!"

Trowzer curled his throbbing toes and winced a little. Despite the pain, the demented koopa still laughed evilly and grinned.

"No matter. Even if they have numbers on their side, they're poorly trained compared to us! It doesn't matter if they have one hundred troops or one thousand! This castle _will_ be ours when this night is over!"

Bowser's troops had run out of time to train or prepare. Trowzer's deadly assault had begun.


	42. Run Turtle Junk, part 1

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 1. Kooper, Geno, and Hooktail finally stumble across a Yoshi who may know where survivors are, Lemmy and Morton encounter trouble on their search for Ludwig, and the battle inside Bowser's Castle continues, with both sides suffering an unexpected loss.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 1)**

**A/N: Wow…four years and I'm almost finished with this story. It's strange; I never intended for it to go this way, with Trowzer turning against his brother so soon and all this chaos going on. But I did, and now here we are. As of this point, there's nothing left for the story except the explosive battle going on in Bowser's castle (which will be broken apart into several parts). After that, there'll only be one or two more chapters to go. This chapter and all the ones following will consist of mostly a bunch of badass action scenes and explosions. So for those hoping for a mega awesome action-filled battle, well, here ya go. **

Hooktail, Geno and Kooper stared at the bush, watching as a few more leaves rustled and a twig snapped. Hooktail growled and inhaled slowly, preparing to breathe a long stream of fire at the hostile. Suddenly, the creature hiding in the bush threw himself forward, panting. It was a blue Yoshi.

"Wait, wait, stop!" shouted Geno.

Hooktail kept her mouth shut so as to not exhale the flames. The Yoshi slowly got to his feet, still panting and shaking. He had scratches all over his body and he seemed to be covered in various brown smudges of mud.

"Oh my God…I knew it! I knew help would arrive eventually!" he said.

"Who are you?" asked Geno.

"Bosley. I-I was at home when this dragon and a bunch of dark koopas and koopatrols started attacking our villages! The dragon flew around burning everything in his sight—"

"I don't suppose this dragon was yellow and had some sort of gas problem?" interrupted Hooktail.

Bosley huffed. "Are you kidding me? I saw this dragon torture one of my friends by sitting on him and farting in his face!"

Hooktail sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that sounds like Dracolin…"

The blue Yoshi continued. "They just…they killed everyone. It didn't matter how old or young they were or how weak and frail they appeared to be. They just stormed into the forest and gunned everyone down! A lot of us split up, but the leader of this attack has been going around hunting us down like dogs."

"…And now you're the only one left," Kooper concluded.

The blue Yoshi shook his head. "No, no, I got separated. The group I was part of split up into three different parties to go out and look for survivors. But some of the koopatrols found my party and…well, I-I don't think any of them made it."

"Did you see what happened?" asked Geno.

The blue Yoshi closed his eyes and nodded, trembling. "They…they lined all the Yoshis up and demanded to know if there was anyone else in the party. I hid in the forest and watched as they started to shoot all the defiant Yoshis in the head…I didn't stay around to see the rest, but—"

"Yes, we understand," interrupted Hooktail again. "While your friends were protecting your ass, you hid away like a coward and just stood and watched as all of them were executed one by one. I got that down right?"

Bosley whimpered and began to shake. "I-I-I didn't know what to do…they-they had all these guns; I couldn't fight them," he said, his voice cracking.

Kooper glared at Hooktail and growled, but he kept his mouth shut so another argument didn't commence.

"Ignore her. You did what you thought…uh, what are you covered in?"

Bosley sniffled before he looked at his chest and arms. "Oh. Um…dragon dung…" he said timidly.

Kooper immediately backed away, his eyes growing wide. "WHAT?!"

"I-I can explain—"

"Jesus Christ, can we go five (censored) chapters without one shred of toilet humor?!"

"You guys think I wanna be covered in this?! How do you think I even found you guys before they did?! That dragon, Dracolin or whatever his name is—he knows what Yoshis smell like! There was nothing else I could find to mask my scent without the risk of being spotted! And everytime I stumbled upon a guard patrol, the koopas would just assume it was a pile of dung and walk away."

"Hmm…coward, maybe, but at least this Yoshi's wise. The stench of dragon dung will not only mask his Yoshi scent, but it'll also draw all the guards away," said Hooktail.

Bosley nodded. "Exactly. That's why I recommend—"

"Oh, hell no; (censored) that. I'm not rolling around in dragon crap! I'd rather get roasted alive!"

"I can arrange that," growled Hooktail with a grin.

"Forget about the dragon dung for now. Just tell us if you know where survivors might be."

The blue Yoshi breathed heavily. "Uh…yeah, I think they said they rounded a group of Yoshi kids and took them in another section of the forest."

"Where specifically?" asked Kooper.

Bosley shook his head. "I don't know. I just know the place has a bunch of trees and some wild ptooie piranhas."

"Then take us to all the places in this section of the island full of those piranha plants. Eventually we'll come across this group," said Geno.

"If they haven't already killed them," Hooktail added.

"I'm getting really tired of your attitude," growled Kooper.

"And I'm—"

Geno rubbed his head. "Am I gonna have to put a muzzle on the two of you?"

"At the rate we're going? Yes," admitted Kooper.

* * *

Lemmy kept looking behind his shoulder as Morton drove down the street. Both of them were heading down an abandoned street that would soon lead them into Moonview Highway. Lemmy could've sworn he heard another engine roaring in the distance behind him and jerked his head around again. But he saw nothing.

"Will ya stop being so jittery? No one saw us leave; even if they did, we can just tell anyone who asked that you weren't feeling well and I drove you to the hospital," said Morton.

"No one will believe that. We can't go back home or talk to anyone else until we find Ludwig."

Morton huffed. "Fine…but I'm pretty damn sure you're just being paranoid."

Morton slowly skidded the kart as he made a sharp turn to the right. As he continued to drive down the gray street, Lemmy heard the faint sound of a bike engine roaring overhead. Lemmy's eyes grew wide as he looked up at the adjacent cliff. The roar started to get louder and louder; Lemmy could see that they were arriving at the end of the cliff.

"Morton…"

"What?"

Suddenly, the bike soared off the top of the cliff, aiming right for Lemmy's head. Morton saw the bike too; he quickly veered to the left, hitting the metal crash barrier. Lemmy shouted as he was nearly thrown off the kart and quickly grabbed the handlebar. The bike had missed them, but it landed right next to the kart, perfectly intact. The creature on the black and purple Mach bike was a dark koopatrol. He glanced at Morton and Lemmy with his eerie red eyes and pointed a submachine gun at them.

"HOLY (CENSORED)!" screamed Morton.

Thinking instinctively, Morton shouted and jerked the kart sideways, bashing the large vehicle against the dark koopatrol's puny bike. He shouted and wound up dropping his submachine gun. Just as the dark koopatrol was recovering, Morton shouted and slammed into the evil turtle again, causing him to yelp as his bike was knocked closer and closer to the crash barrier. The two vehicles were about to cross a bridge that led into the city's main streets. The loud-mouthed koopa shouted again and slammed the Koopa King kart into the bike. This time, the bike slammed directly into a boulder sitting right on the right side of the road next to the bridge. The bike was smashed; several pieces went flying from the black and purple motorcycle—including the dark koopatrol. He was sent twirling head first over the boulder until he could be seen spinning right above the river beneath the bridge. Then gravity took place, and the dark koopatrol screamed as he fell into the river.

"You see?! I told you someone—"

Lemmy was interrupted when several bullets ricocheted off the ground. Morton yelped and started to veer left and right; one of the back tires was almost popped with a stray bullet. Lemmy glanced behind his shoulder and swore. Three karts—two black flame flyers with purple flames painted on and a red offroader—were right on their tails. All the drivers were driving with one hand and holding a nasty-looking weapon with the other. As far as Lemmy could tell, they were dark koopatrols, no doubt sent by Trowzer. Lemmy didn't need to tell Morton to speed up. The brownish koopa with a star birthmark on his head pressed down on the accelerator, and the Koopa King's engine roared as they made it to the end of the bridge.

"Turn left!"

Morton turned the kart's wheel clockwise, and wound up going right. Not only were they on the wrong side of the road, but they were going the wrong way.

"I said left, Morton!"

"I did turn left!"

"Not your _other_ left, Morton! Actual (censored) left!"

"How was I supposed—"

Morton yelped when a burst of bullets zoomed past his head, nearly clipping off the small strands of hair he had left. Morton turned left this time, but he panicked and wound up crashing into a crash barrier. The kart stopped on impact, leaving both koopalings exposed. The two flame flyers were right behind the Koopa Kart, and the driver of one of them had his submachine gun pointed right at them.

"MORTON!"

The brown koopaling looked behind his back and put the kart in reverse. Even though the heavy kart took long to accelerate, it could still move at a moderate pace. The Koopa King collided right against the first flame flyer's bumper. The dark koopatrol grunted and dropped his gun on the floor of the kart. Morton continued to back up, the six tires screeching noisily and causing a lot of smoke to rise from the ground. Just as the flame flyer's driver began to push forward against the Koopa King, he heard a loud honk and was blinded by two headlights. A very large truck was speeding his way. He didn't even have time to swear before the truck rammed into the right side of his kart, causing it to spin and flip over a few times. Lemmy jerked his head around and could see that one of the karts was out of commission, but the other two were gaining speed.

"Go, go!"

Morton panicked, put the kart in drive, and went right again, much to Lemmy's frustration.

"THAT'S THE WRONG WAY, MORTON!"

"You said left!"

"Goddamnit—MOVE!"

Before Morton could even protest, Lemmy hopped out the backseat and got into the driver's seat beside Morton. Both of them grunted as they were crammed inside such a small seat, but Morton eventually groaned with frustration and hopped into the backseat. He stood up and gripped the handlebar tight just as Lemmy sharply turned the Koopa King around. The two pursing karts did the same, and now they were on their tails again. Due to how slow the kart accelerated, it wasn't long before the offroader and flame flyer drivers were only a few feet away from them.

"Uh, bro? Ya mind speeding up a little?!" shouted Morton.

"I'm trying!"

The offroader was right behind the vehicle. Morton could see the dark koopatrol grin as he raised his handgun and pointed it at Morton's face.

"LEMMY!"

Lemmy jerked the kart left and smashed into an item box, narrowly avoiding an oncoming car. Morton wound up receiving a green koopa shell. Without even hesitating for a second, he shouted and threw the item right at the offroader. It smashed into several pieces, and the offroader slowly spun out of control. Unfortunately, the driver didn't have time to recover before a bomb-car drove right into the vehicle, blowing him to smithereens. Lemmy and Morton were just out of the blast radius and could see the powerful explosion as they drove away. Lemmy looked up as he heard two more bikes revving their engines. The koopalings were nearly at the bridge that drove right into the heart of the city when two more Mach bikes descended from adjacent cliffs. Both drivers landed on the ground perfectly, and regrouped with the pursuing flame flyer. Morton groaned again just as the driver of one of the bike's got behind the Koopa King. Morton ducked and swore as the driver fired at them, his bullets ricocheting off the kart or the ground. When he was out of bullets, Morton stood back up and turned around, watching as the driver tried to reload.

"Lemmy, hit the brakes!"

"Why?"

"Just trust me!"

The mischievous koopaling could see the bike that was right on their tails too. He hit the brakes as Morton requested. The bike wound up colliding with the kart's rear bumper; simultaneously, Morton jerked his body around and kicked the pursuing driver right across the face. He groaned and dropped his gun on the ground, whilst Morton shouted with frustration and began to swear at the pain his foot was in. He whined and briefly hopped up and down as he clutched his pained toes, ignoring that he was on a speeding vehicle. It wasn't until Morton nearly fell off that he yelped, turned around, and immediately gripped the handlebar again. The two karts and two bikes passed through the city's toll gate and were finally in the main section of the city. The amount of traffic increased significantly; all the drivers found themselves swerving in order to avoid the oncoming cars. Lemmy could see the driver that Morton hadn't kicked riding on his bike very smoothly. He didn't seem to be armed though, but with this traffic he didn't need a weapon. The dark koopatrol shouted and slammed his bike into the Koopa King three times. Lemmy and Morton grunted as their kart was gradually slammed onto the wrong side of the road, with a very large bus heading right towards them.

"Whoa!"

Lemmy steered to the left and just barely avoided hitting the bus. But the bike rider was too consumed with fury and tried to slam into the Koopa King again. Instead, he inadvertently drove right in front of the bus. The dark koopatrol screamed with wide eyes before the two vehicles collided. Morton briefly saw the bike crash and break apart into hundreds of pieces. The driver was hurled off the bike, and he slammed his head right against the bus's bumper. He hit the bus so hard that his jaw broke and a large torrent of blood spewed from his head and splashed onto the front of the bus. The driver's body slowly fell backwards along with the bike; both the koopatrol and the two-wheeled vehicle were pulverized by the bus, dragged underneath its powerful wheels. Morton grimaced as he heard loud crunching; he could already tell that the bike rider was dead.

"DAAAAAAAAMN!" he shouted.

The loud-mouthed koopa looked to his right and could see the other bike rider speeding up, albeit with a bloody nose. Fortunately, Lemmy found another item box, granting the brown koopaling standing behind him another weapon: a fake item box. Morton didn't waste his time chucking the box at the bike rider; he crashed into it immediately. The dark koopatrol let out a cut-off scream as his bike flipped over. Unfortunately, he landed on the ground upside-down, with the bike on top of him. Morton inhaled sharply with his teeth grit and looked away after hearing the loud crash. Now all they had to worry about was the flame flyer, and maybe they could finally get away from Trowzer's forces. Lemmy glanced up the road and could see another bomb-car speeding down the street. All he had to do now was ram the flame flyer into it, and they'd be home free. That's when Morton heard a loud whoosh and ducked. There a loud explosion from the left side of the street that almost tipped the Koopa King over. Morton and Lemmy looked to the right and noticed that another kart had appeared. A tan piranha prowler with black spots had joined the flame flyer, and the koopalings realized with horror that the kart had been modified to carry a driver as well as a backseat passenger.

"WHAT THE (CENSORED) WAS THAT?!"

Morton shouted again when something whizzed past his head. This time it slammed into a car, causing it to blow up and spin out of control. Lemmy screamed and steered the Koopa King left and right as oncoming cars drove past him, desperate to avoid the fiery crash. Whoever stood on the back of the piranha prowler seemed to be armed with a rocket launcher that fired bullet bills.

"Where the hell did that thing come from?!"

The koopalings caught a break; they entered the tunnel that had both sides of the road separated by various walls. Unfortunately, they were still driving on the wrong side. And if that wasn't bad enough, Lemmy could hear another bike's engine revving inside the tunnel, echoing off the walls.

"Oh, (censored) me!" he groaned.

After Lemmy and Morton crossed a large light blue tank truck, they spotted two gray zip zip bikes coming at them from both sides. Lemmy shouted again as he looked left and right, not sure of which bike to attack. Luckily, he stumbled upon another item box. This time Morton got a special weapon: three red koopa shells. The brown koopaling laughed to himself with a grin on his face as he juggled the shells in one hand. He shouted and threw one shell at the zip zip on the right; he didn't kill the driver, but the bike flipped out of control and collided into one of the tunnel walls. Morton laughed again right when the driver of the other zip zip fired at the koopalings. The burly koopa shouted when one of the bullets shot through the shell. He dropped the two shells and almost stumbled off the kart as the zip zip driver kept shooting at Morton. Lemmy veered the Koopa King to the left, sandwiching the bike against the wall and the kart. The dark koopa driving screamed as the left side of his body was filed against the wall. Morton moved away, listening to the loud screaming and the sound of the kart grinding against the wall and bike. Sparks flew everywhere, some of which almost getting on Morton's body.

The dark koopa stopped screaming and his body gave out. Lemmy moved the kart away from the bike and watched as the driver's mutilated body toppled over, along with the bike itself. Just as Morton stood up, the piranha prowler he and Lemmy spotted earlier reappeared. The passenger in the back fired another bullet bill from his rocket launcher, but the missile didn't reach; it hit one of the walls. Lemmy and Morton screamed as their kart wobbled and shook from the explosion. The tunnel rumbled as part of it was engulfed in the fiery inferno, and a portion of the ceiling collapsed. Just when the koopalings thought their luck couldn't get worse, they heard incessant gunfire from up ahead. Two blue wild wings with purple stripes were speeding down the street on a collision course for the Koopa King. Lemmy snarled with frustration before he looked over at the piranha prowler. There was only one way for them to take out that vehicle.

"SWITCH!"

Morton was eager to get himself out of harm's way, so he quickly hopped into the driver's seat the same time Lemmy jumped behind into the backseat.

"I need you to drive over to that piranha prowler!" shouted Lemmy.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Just do it!"

Morton huffed and screamed right when the passenger in the piranha prowler fired another bullet bill. They exited the tunnel right when it was fired; the bullet bill wound up making contact with one of the adjacent buildings, creating a huge explosion that sent chunks of glass and concrete into the air. The wild wing drivers resumed firing at the two koopalings. Just as they were getting close, Morton veered into the right side of the street and got right in front of the piranha prowler. The driver smirked and held up his submachine gun whilst the passenger began to put more bullet bills in his launcher. Lemmy turned around and stared at the ground, judging how far the distance between the two karts was.

"Hit the brakes!"

Morton did as he was told. The Koopa King screeched as it decelerated, and the two vehicles collided with each other. Lemmy jumped off the Koopa King and landed right on the driver's face. His gun went off; the dark koopatrol fired erratically into the air. Morton quickly slammed his foot on the gas pedal and accelerated, hoping Lemmy's plan would work. Lemmy grunted as he punched the turtle in the face over and over again. The piranha prowler's tires screeched as the kart jerked in the left and right directions. The dark koopatrol used his left hand to take out his pistol, but Lemmy knocked it onto the street. Suddenly, the dark koopatrol had his gun pointed right at Lemmy's chin. Panting and swearing, they tussled over the gun while still trying to keep control of the kart. Lemmy shouted and jerked the dark koopatrol's arms backwards, and then squeezed the trigger. Several bullets went off and hit the passenger standing behind them. He screamed as he was drilled full of holes, and his body quickly tumbled off the kart.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" shouted the dark koopatrol.

"YOU FIRST!"

Lemmy bit down on the dark koopatrol's hand, causing him to howl and let go of the gun. Lemmy snatched it away, and then kicked the dark koopatrol in the head over and over again. After one powerful kick, Lemmy grabbed the dark koopatrol's body and hurled him over the side of the kart. He screamed just before his body hit the ground and he rolled over and over again. Lemmy quickly sat down and began to drive the kart, now with a gun in hand. The wild wing kart drivers had seen what happened and quickly turned around in order to follow Morton and Lemmy. Lemmy accelerated and joined up with his brother as they drove down the road. The brown koopaling snickered and grinned.

"Oh man! I can't believe we didn't film that! That was the most badass thing I've seen you do!"

"You can marvel at my badassness later! We're still in danger, Morton!"

Morton was reminded of that when two bullets whizzed past his head. The wild wings were still hot on their tails. Just as Lemmy was about to fire at the drivers, he heard more bike engines revving. Not surprisingly, four bikes—two Mach bikes and two flame runners—appeared from alleyways on both sides of the city.

"I am getting tired of you goddamn bikes!" screamed Lemmy.

Frustrated, Lemmy pointed his new weapon at two of the bikes and squeezed the trigger a few times. He felt his hand rattle as dozens of bullets zoomed out of the barrel and drilled holes into the bikes and the bike riders. They didn't even have time to scream; the bikes tumbled over, along with the riders. Now aware of how powerful this weapon was, Lemmy grinned and pointed it at the other bikes. He squeezed the trigger again and killed the other two bike riders as well. Unfortunately, the koopaling had too much fun with the submachine gun, and wasn't aware that it didn't have infinite ammo. After he killed the bike riders, he continued to shoot at their bodies, still beleaguered by their frequent appearances. As he was shooting, the bullets abruptly stopped coming out the barrel, and the gun clicked multiple times. Lemmy frowned and stared at the gun, squeezing the trigger a few more times and hearing the same annoying click. Lemmy swore and tossed the useless weapon out the kart before putting his hands back on the steering wheel.

"Good job genius. Now what?" asked Morton.

Lemmy growled before looking left, right, and then behind his kart. The wild wings were still on their tails, but the drivers only seemed to be equipped with standard handguns.

"Just keep going down this road! Sooner or later we'll run into an item box or something!"

Morton nodded and continued to drive alongside his brother, with the two wild wings still in pursuit.

* * *

The shady koopa grunted after he was pierced in the throat by a chain chomp tooth. He gurgled a few times before falling backwards, dead.

"MOVE BACK!" shouted Shannon.

The assailants slowly moved backwards and took cover behind a large fortified structure. Trowzer and his troops had seriously underestimated the strength of Bowser's forces. It seemed like the whole castle was determined to destroy that single platoon. Trowzer peeked behind the column he hid behind and ducked when two stones grazed the horns on his head. He glanced over at a dark koopatrol and nodded. The dark koopatrol returned the same nod and hid in his shell. Trowzer quickly ran to where the dark koopatrol was and picked up his shell. Two chain chomp teeth whizzed by his head, but he didn't take any damage. Trowzer dropped the shell in front of him and punted it like a football. As the dark koopatrol went flying into the air, he popped out of his shell carrying two handguns. Looking upside-down, the dark koopatrol aimed his guns at the shy guys and koopa troopas and started shooting. Several shy guys grunted or screamed as they were taken off guard. Most of the shy guys turned around and tried to take out the dark koopatrol, but he was moving too fast. Trowzer and his forces used this to their advantage, and began to move forward.

Trowzer was the first to go. He ran behind a blue shy guy and snapped his neck with little effort. Before his body even hit the floor, Trowzer held his assault rifle and gunned down three red-shelled koopa troopas. The shy guys and koopa troopas finally noticed what Trowzer had done and returned fire. The senior spy guy finally took out the dark koopatrol who was kicked into the air before he returned to the group he was leading. He took out his slingshot and aimed right at a dark koopatrol standing next to Trowzer. The spiky-shelled koopa fell down with a tooth in his abdomen before he could even see who his killer was. Trowzer could see most of the koopatrols and shy guys were gunning for him. He hid in his shell and listened as five stones ricocheted off his massive blue shell. Shannon and Benson hopped off Trowzer's shell and leaped through the air, shooting off a few rounds. Two koopatrols and a spy guy fell. One of the koopatrols shouted and swore as he dragged himself to safety. Meanwhile, Trowzer finally came out of his shell and inhaled deeply. Before the five shy guys in front of him could attack or retreat, Trowzer opened his mouth wide and unleashed a powerful wave of fire breath. None of the shy guys had a chance; everyone in the corridor could faintly hear them screaming bloody murder. The senior spy guy had to turn away when he saw one of the shy guys crawling on the floor engulfed in fire.

Benson shouted and swore furiously when someone fired a chain chomp tooth into his left hand. Thinking quickly, Shannon ripped the tooth out of Benson's bloody hand, picked up a slingshot from a dead shy guy, and fired the tooth right back at the shy guy who released it.

"Damnit, Shannon!"

"Shut up; you'll be fine."

The two Yoshi brothers were enjoying themselves a bit too much. The red one with blue eyes shot three koopatrols in-between the eyes before turning around and shooting them in the head again. Then he strafed to the left and took cover behind a few brown crates. Holding his two gray pistols firmly, the red Yoshi sighed heavily and waited patiently for the stone-fire to cease. After it did, the dinosaur stood up and fired multiple rounds at the red shy guys standing across the hall from him. The red Yoshi turned around and quickly rolled to his right when a Hammer Bro. tried to crack his skull with his trusty hammer. The red Yoshi pointed his guns at the Hammer Bro., but they were quickly knocked out of his hands by the hammer. But the red Yoshi didn't panic. The Hammer Bro. grunted and snarled as he swung his hammer left, right, up, and down. But the red Yoshi was too fast; he dodged every attack swiftly. Suddenly, the red Yoshi punched the Hammer Bro. in the face four times before jumping into the air and performing a flutter kick. The Hammer Bro.'s head began to spin; he became dizzy and disoriented. The red Yoshi easily took the hammer from his hands and whacked him in the nose with it, causing the Hammer Bro. to fall down. Just as he was about to get back up, the red Yoshi picked one of his guns off the floor and shoot him five times.

The blue Yoshi with red eyes was much worse. He was killing most of his enemies with sharp objects or his bare hands. The blue Yoshi crept behind a koopatrol who was about to fire at his red brother and snapped his neck so hard and fast that a few of Trowzer's troops heard the popping sound. The blue Yoshi discarded the body and ran over to an anti guy who had been wounded by two gunshots. The blue Yoshi pinned him against the wall, covered his mouth, and then stuck a knife into his chest. Grinning devilishly, the blue Yoshi slowly moved the knife down, cutting open the anti guy's stomach. The anti guy let out a few hoarse, painful grunts as he was disemboweled, and then he finally succumbed to the wounds. The blue Yoshi laughed menacingly before he was cut off. A Hammer Bro. had wrapped fiber wire around the Yoshi's neck and began to garrote him. The blue Yoshi gagged and coughed a few times as he was slowly dragged backwards, the wire pressing hard against his neck. The blue Yoshi jerked his head backwards multiple times, hitting the Hammer Bro. against the nose four times. Eventually the Hammer Bro. let go and grabbed his bleeding nose. Knife in hand, the blue Yoshi turned around and slashed the Hammer Bro.'s throat.

As the Hammer Bro. fell to his knees, the blue Yoshi slashed at his neck again. And then he slashed at his neck a third time, causing the dying Hammer Bro. to let out a gurgled moan that sounded like he was vomiting up blood. Just for fun, the blue Yoshi stabbed the Hammer Bro. in the neck again and severed a few arteries. It wasn't until his red brother grabbed his arm that he finally stopped.

"I think he's dead now," said the red Yoshi.

The blue Yoshi grinned, blood splattered all over his face. "Can't be too careful, right?"

Just as his brother was about to agree with him, a spy guy chucked a large stone at the blue Yoshi's stomach. He groaned and swore before falling to his knees. The red Yoshi promptly lifted his two guns and shot the spy guy in the face four times. Elsewhere, Benson lifted a handgun with his right hand and shot a pink shy guy in the throat. Trowzer slashed at a koopatrol with his koopa klaw attack. The spiky-shelled reptile screamed when Trowzer opened his mouth wide and bit down on the poor turtle's throat. He let out a gurgled moan as he tried to pry Trowzer's head from his neck, but it was no use. The koopatrol could feel the jagged teeth descending into his flesh, severing several arteries with a nauseating squish. The koopatrol could feel blood rising up his throat and opened his mouth to scream, but couldn't. Trowzer had damaged the vocal cords. At some point, the koopatrol stopped fighting back, and Trowzer slowly lifted his head, tearing off a large chunk of flesh from the turtle. He let the koopatrol's body fall to the floor before he turned his head and spat out the meat.

Trowzer moved forward and hid alongside Benson. The battle was slowly becoming quieter; the amount of stones and chain chomp teeth that were raining down on Trowzer's troops was getting smaller and smaller. A majority of Bowser's troops had either retreated or were dead. The blue-shelled koopa glanced over the giant slab of stone he was crouching behind and noticed that the only opponent putting up much of a fight was the senior spy guy. He was flipping and side-stepping all over the corridor, flinging stones and chain chomp teeth like clockwork. Two shady koopas tried to rush the senior spy guy, but he shot two very long and pointy teeth into their necks and then hid. Trowzer exhaled, knowing he had to take out the commander if he wanted to advance.

"COVER ME!"

Shannon glanced over at his ruler as he ran straight down the corridor and then hid in his shell. Trowzer felt a few stones ricochet off his shell and heard gunfire from behind. Two koopatrols groaned, and Trowzer came out of his shell. He ran forward briefly, and then hid in his shell as more stones were hurled his way. Trowzer had to wait even longer this time; he assumed the senior spy guy had figured out his plan. After another burst of gunfire, Trowzer emerged from his shell and sprinted forward. He found the senior spy guy and used his koopa klaw attack again. The senior spy guy tried to fling a tooth at Trowzer's eye, but he turned his head at the last second. Trowzer snarled and threw the spy guy at the stone wall on his left. Before the spy guy could get back up, Trowzer grabbed his body and started to bash his head against the wall, causing it to bleed. The turtle dropped his body and slashed at him three times with his dangerous claws. Bleeding, the senior spy guy groaned and winced as he crawled away from Trowzer. He flipped over onto his back and pointed his slingshot at Trowzer yet again, aiming for the eye. Trowzer quickly side-stepped the spy guy and felt the tooth graze against his left cheek. Trowzer snarled again and grabbed the senior spy guy.

"C'MERE!"

The senior spy guy yelped when Trowzer wrapped his arms around him and pressed his body against his chest. Trowzer tightened his grip and heard something snap. He was breaking the commander's spine. The senior spy guy panicked and tried punching Trowzer in the nose a few times, but it was useless. The last thing the spy guy saw before his spine was snapped in half was Trowzer's ugly grinning mug. The burly koopa tossed the body on the floor like a rag doll and kicked it away, showing no respect over the corpse. Then he slowly turned his head and looked at what was left of Bowser's forces. He growled loud enough for them to hear and smiled devilishly. The second he took a step forward, Bowser's troops yelped and retreated, sprinting out of the bloody corridor.

"Heh, cowards. We're clear!"

Trowzer joined up with Shannon, who was currently looking down at the dark koopa treating Benson's hand wound.

"How many did we lose?"

Shannon sighed and looked all around, surprised at the high amount of bodies on the floor. Despite their victory, Trowzer had lost more troops than he anticipated.

"I'd say no less than twenty. Bowser must've been warned beforehand."

"You're probably right…if that's the case then Mel's team is probably in trouble too."

"Perhaps we should split up, sir? I could join Team Beta and assist them while you command the rest of the army."

Trowzer nodded. "Why not?"

Shannon grinned and laughed before he walked over to where most of Trowzer's team was resting. All of them were either panting or checking their weapons to make sure they had enough ammo. Some of them were wincing as they patched up their wounds, and a few of them were trying to remove the chain chomp teeth sticking out of their bodies.

"LISTEN UP! We don't have time to sit here and take a breather. Bowser's castle is huge, and his forces are still occupying the areas we need to take over. I'm sure this entire level's been alerted by all that gunfire, which means we have to move now before they come up with a plan that could really hurt us!"

Steve huffed. "We don't need your big speech, Shannon. Just tell us what you want us to do."

Shannon nodded. "The second team below us, Team Beta, is probably under heavy fire, so we're gonna have to split into two groups. I want Green, Steve, Harry, Barry, Ashley, Bradley, Konley, Benson, and Sara to all come with me!"

"I'm not going anywhere without Red or Black," Green protested.

"Yes, you are."

"Why?"

Shannon blinked. "Because I said so."

"You mean Trowzer said so and told you to do it," muttered Steve.

"Do you have a problem with the way Trowzer or I leads this army?"

Steve scoffed. "No, of course not."

"Then shut your mouth and do as you're told."

As Shannon began to walk away, Steve said very loudly, "Whatever you say, bitch-boy." Steve could tell that Shannon had heard him by the way he stopped walking. But after a brief moment, Shannon resumed walking away.

"I'm not letting them split us up."

"We'll be fine, Green," said Red.

"Did neither of you see what Trowzer just did to that spy guy?! Or that koopatrol who had his throat ripped out with Trowzer's teeth?!"

"None of us wants to be here, bro. But we have to follow orders, unless you want to end up like that koopatrol."

"But Red—"

"Hey, uh, what are your names again?" asked Black.

The red and blue Yoshi brothers wiped blood from their faces before looking down at the ninjakoopa.

"I'm Harry, that's Barry. If you haven't guessed it yet, we're brothers," said the red Yoshi.

"I'm the older one!" said Barry.

"But _I'm_ more responsible and affable."

"Oh…and you're both going with Shannon's group?" asked Black.

The two Yoshis nodded simultaneously. "That's right."

As the Yoshis walked away, Black looked at Green and scratched his head. "Uh…maybe we _should_ be in Trowzer's squad."

"But I told you—"

"Trust me, Green. As weird as it may sound I'd prefer being around him than those two."

Green sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "Fine…but both of you stay far away from him."

"Why, so we don't get caught up in his bloodbath against the shy guys?"

"No…I don't trust him…"

* * *

Team Beta was moving through the dark corridor with little interference. At most the team encountered a few magikoopas who tried to attack them with their magic, and they were all gunned down with little effort. Right now Team Beta was standing in front of a set of double-doors with Bowser's face on the front of it. The leader of the team, Mel, stood beside Shannon and together they opened the door. The entire team was greeted to a corridor that was pitch black. Shannon and Mel sighed before glancing over their shoulders to alert their troops.

"Lights on!"

Everyone held up a flashlight or turned on the flashlight attached to their guns and walked into the corridor. The door slammed and locked behind them almost instantly; Shannon felt like he just walked into a trap. He swore to himself before he and Mel began to blend in with the crowd. If there was an attack from any side, they didn't want to be gunned down first. Shannon and Mel held up one hand and stopped over half the group. Another section went on ahead to scope out the area. They shined their flashlights everywhere, revealing short columns, a low ceiling, and a stone floor. The corridor seemed bland and relatively safe, but it was also spacious, and the columns provided great cover. There was a chance they could still be ambushed. One of the dark koopas in the group up ahead turned his head and nodded. The rest of the group followed after them whilst the scouting group kept shining their lights all around. Suddenly, one of them stepped on a stone that slowly rumbled and was pushed further into the floor with his foot. The scouting group stopped and heard a loud hiss, like something was burning. It was a bomb.

"GET—"

The bob-ulk that had been buried underneath the stone floor exploded. None of the koopas in the scouting group had a chance. Those who hadn't lost their various limbs from the explosion were killed by the impact. Several charred bodies flew into the air, and a couple of them landed inside the remainder of Team Beta's platoon. Most of the koopas were knocked down by the impact and struggled to roll over and get back up. Once they did, one of the shady koopa's shouted and fell on his stomach, a chain chomp tooth in the back of his neck.

"(CENSORED)!" shouted Shannon.

Team Beta returned fire and dispersed, but they couldn't see their enemy up ahead. All that was certain was that Team Beta was being bombarded by several chain chomp teeth. Two turncoat koopatrols were each hit in the chest; their bodies collapsed right next to Benson. The fat koopa hid behind a column, occasionally peeking behind it to return fire with his right hand. He glanced to his left and saw a column on the other side of the wide hallway. Benson grunted and sprinted towards it, shooting while strafing. Suddenly, Benson heard a faint thump and felt a searing pain in his left leg. Another tooth had hit him, this time right below the knee. Benson shouted in pain and fell to the floor; he scurried his way over to the column, groaning and panting as he shined his flashlight at the wound. Lucky for him, the tooth didn't hit the bone or severed any major arteries. Meanwhile, the dark koopa named Konley shined his flashlight forward and found two of Bowser's Boomerang Bros. crouching beside a fallen column. Konley ran forward and gunned them down, happy that he could finally see the enemy.

However, Konley paid no attention to where he was going. If he had, he would've noticed that the bob-ulk's explosion was so catastrophic that it blew a hole big enough for a large kart to fall through. Konley ran on the stone, and then suddenly tipped over and felt wind rushing against his face. The dark koopa screamed as he plummeted into the underground caves buried in the bowels of Bowser's castle. Shannon and Mel were considering retreating; they were taking heavy losses. At least a third of Mel's team was gone, Benson was wounded again, and Konley was dead. Shannon and Mel heard a loud clatter and shined their lights forward. A purple crocodile wearing a large hat had just plummeted from the ceiling, carrying two bob-ombs. Croco snickered before chucking both bob-ombs at the team leaders. They ducked, but the bob-ombs slammed against two shady koopas. Shannon and Mel ran for cover as the bombs exploded. Before they could get a shot at Croco, the purple reptile laughed and sprinted to the right. There was another clatter, and Mel had just enough time to see Croco's tail disappear into the ceiling.

"Son of a bitch—he's above us! Shoot up!"

Half of Trowzer's troops shot at the ceiling while the other half fired into the darkness. One of the panels in the ceiling was smashed open, revealing Croco's left hand. He tossed two bob-ombs down before disappearing again. A Fire Bro. shouted mere seconds before the bombs blew him apart. There was another smash from across the corridor; Croco reappeared and tossed two more bob-ombs. One of them actually landed inside Mel's shell. Thinking quickly, he hid in his shell, fished it out, and tossed it far away before it turned him into ash and crimson. Green fired into the ceiling before his eyes grew wide and he stopped.

"…What the hell am I doing?"

Green hadn't seen Croco. The guy hiding in the ceiling could be one of his friends for all he knew. He couldn't risk killing whoever it was, and yet… Green heard another smash and saw part of Croco's hand. He was clutching another bob-omb. The purple reptile threw it on the floor and then hid again. The bob-omb landed in front of Green. He yelped and kicked the bob-omb right when it opened its eyes. Benson felt something smash against his forehead and picked up his flashlight. Green had inadvertently kicked the bob-omb right at him. The bob-omb lit its fuse and put on an angry face, turning red. Benson's eyes grew wide as the explosive slowly walked towards him. Benson couldn't even finish screaming before the bob-omb blew him to smithereens. Green shouted and landed on his shell, blown off his feet by the powerful explosion.

"Now would be a _VERY_ good time to leave!" shouted Steve.

"Negative! Trowzer wants up to take this sector while his team handling things upstairs!" Shannon exclaimed.

"But we're getting our shells handed to us! At this rate we'll all be dead in the fifteen minutes!"

"It's my say, Steve! No retreat!"

Steve scoffed. "Tch! Fine, bitch-boy!"

That was the last straw. Shannon couldn't have someone like Steve belittle him at every corner. He'd slowly end up losing control of his position, and Trowzer's army would consider him to be a joke. Shannon stood behind Steve as the two of them hid behind a column, avoiding the chain chomp teeth being hurled their way. Then the dark koopa slyly grabbed Steve's shoulder and shoved him out into the open. Steve shouted and stumbled before jerking his head around and looking at Shannon.

"What—OUCH!"

A long tooth just went into his abdomen. Steve shouted and gritted his teeth before aiming his submachine gun forward and firing off several rounds. Then another tooth hit him, this time in the throat. Steve let out a long gasp and dropped his gun, eyes wide and blood oozing down his neck. Green had finally gotten off his shell when he saw Steve gasping and gagging, trying to remove the tooth.

"Oh my God, Steve!"

Steve gasped again and collapsed to his knees. Green quickly got his body and dragged him behind the column. Shannon pretended to show concern and rushed over to Green and Steve, crouching down to aid him. Steve looked up at Green, coughing and trying to grasp his neck.

"(Censored)! That wound looks pretty bad! Let's get this thing out first!"

"No, DON'T DO THAT!"

Shannon didn't listen. He grabbed the chain chomp tooth and yanked it right out. Steve gurgled and Green flinched; the blood was dripping down his neck much faster now and squirting out. Some of it got all over Green's face and neck. The ninjakoopa panicked and swore, pressing his hand down on the wound.

"Put it back! Put it back!"

Shannon shrugged. "All right."

Shannon lifted his right hand and stabbed Steve in the neck again. Only this time, he intentionally missed where the tooth originally was, and wound up creating a second wound. Now blood was pouring from both holes in Steve's neck.

"NOT THERE YOU IDIOT!" screamed Green.

Green ignored all the gunfire and explosions around him. His primary concern was saving Steve. He got squirted in the face with blood again, but Green managed to press his hands down on the wound with both hands. Green groaned loudly as he felt his hands growing very wet. This wasn't working at all; even if he managed to stop the blood flow from this wound, his neck was punctured in another area thanks to Shannon's carelessness. Steve stopped gurgling and gasping and started to breathe softly.

"Goddamnit! MEDIC!"

"Green—"

"Shut up, Shannon!"

Steve's eyelids began to feel heavy. He coughed up blood twice before he started to breathe heavily again. Steve blinked and looked up at Green, as though he were trying to say something. He blinked again and wheezed before he calmed down and inhaled and exhaled. Green stared at Steve, hoping he'd say something soon. But the koopatrol just blinked again and sighed heavily. After sighing, Steve's body went limp, his eyes half-closed. Green stared at his friend, still in denial. But there was pretty evident that he was with his brother and Dix now.

"He's dead, Green."

Green felt a lump in his throat as he heard the words. Yet another close friend had died because of Shannon. But this wasn't like Dix; he died alone after he was given a small ounce of false hope. Steve practically died in his friend's arms, bleeding to death and looking up at Green for help. Green whimpered and took his hands away, feeling the cooling blood all over his hands and face. He could see a lot of blood on his palms with the flashlight resting next to Steve's body.

"No…" he said, his voice cracking.

Shannon stood beside Green, staring at the ninjakoopa with little expression on his face. "You can either sit there and cry like a bitch, or you can get off your ass and help us. This just gives you another reason to get back at Bowser's troops. They slaughtered your friend without knowing or even caring that he used to be one of them. Don't you want payback?"

Green closed his eyes and sobbed. He couldn't hold back his tears, not after this. He was just starting to get over Dix's death; in fact, Steve was the reason why Green hadn't broken down earlier. But now that they were both gone, it seemed like Green had no one left except his brothers.

"I don't…I don't know anymore…"

Shannon could hear the ninjakoopa crying softly and rolled his eyes, sighing. "Fine…you've never lost anyone in the field before, let alone saw someone die right in front of you, so I'll cut you some slack. You can have a few minutes to grieve, but I had better see your ass back in combat soon!"

Shannon didn't wait for Green's reply. He took out his assault rifle and continued to fire at the troops Croco was leading. Green just lowered his head and kept sobbing, not sure of what he should do anymore.

Things were certainly not going the way either side of this war had planned.

**A/N: Okay, so now you know what you're in for. Do not expect that many minor named characters to make it to the end of this fanfic. I don't intend to kill off _everybody_, but a lot of characters are going to die. You've been warned.**


	43. Run Turtle Junk, part 2

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 2. Mel and Shannon's forces recover from Croco's ambush, Morton and Lemmy encounter more trouble on the road, and Kooper, Geno, Bosley and Hooktail devise of a way to rescue a group of Yoshi children.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 2)**

Shannon's troops were busy standing outside the corridor, panting and patching up their wounds. Shannon's attempt at taking over the corridor had failed miserably. Nearly half his troops had all been killed in the corridor, and several of them had been wounded. Harry and Barry were panting with their hands on their knees whilst a few other dark koopas were trying to clean their wounds or remove the teeth that had been stuck in their bodies. Mel had a very large tooth sticking out of his torso, which he was currently removing with his bare hands. The dark koopatrol gritted his teeth and shut his eyes as the tooth was slowly removed. Suddenly, it came out with a soft squish, and Mel opened his eyes as he exhaled. The dark koopatrol tossed the tooth aside before he started to clean up the wound.

"Okay, now just stay still and I'll pull it out. You ready?" asked a shady koopa.

The dark koopa with several teeth stuck in his body nodded. "Yeah, do it!"

The shady koopa grabbed the tooth and quickly yanked it out, causing the dark koopa to shout in pain and swear out loud.

"See, that wasn't so bad now, was it?"

The dark koopa shouted again and started to breathe heavily. "…No."

"Good, cause you got five more teeth to go."

"WHAT?!"

Shannon was rubbing his head as he paced back and forth. The dark koopa was holding a radio in his hand, wondering what he was gonna say to Trowzer.

"Y'know, you're gonna have to report in _eventually_, Shannon."

"Shut up, Bradley. I'll talk to Trowzer when I (censored) feel like—"

The radio created a loud static noise. Trowzer was on the other end of the line. "Shannon?"

The dark koopa's eyes grew wide. He stopped moving as the radio created another loud static-like sound. Shannon closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"Shannon, report in."

The dark koopa shook his head and opened his eyes. "…Yeah, I'm here."

"What's your team's status?"

"Uh…it's…it's not good, Trowzer."

"Mind elaborating on that?"

Shannon started pacing back and forth again. "Err, our plans to take over the corridor failed. Some purple creature ambushed us in the darkness, blew a hole in the floor and attacked us from all sides. We had no choice but to retreat."

Shannon's spine shivered as he heard Trowzer growl over the radio. "What?"

"We…we had to go back, Trowzer. We were losing too many men."

"So what you're saying is that you ran away like a coward instead of trying to think of a new strategy?"

"I told you: someone from Bowser's team ambushed us. They started throwing bombs everywhere; our guys were dropping like flies. I-I had to pull out or else I would've lost the whole team! Steve and Benson are dead, and I can't find Konley. If he's not dead then they probably captured him."

Trowzer huffed over the radio, trying to keep his anger under control. "Altogether, how many did you lose?"

"I dunno…nearly half—"

"Tonight is supposed to be the most important night of our entire lives, and you already got half of your own team killed! I let you lead Team Beta because you said you could handle it, because you suggested that we split up in the first place and assist Mel and his troops! All you've done so far is screw up my well-executed and well-thought out plans!"

"Trowzer, I didn't know—"

"SHUT UP! Because of you, I have to call in reinforcements to help Team Beta, which means we're gonna lose more troops simply because you weren't smart enough to figure out a way to flank your attackers!"

"That's not fair, Trowzer. I wasn't expecting—"

"I DON'T CARE! You and what's left of Team Beta sit tight and wait until backup arrives. Try not to (censored) that up too."

Shannon sighed heavily. "Yes…sir."

The dark koopa shut his eyes and rubbed his head, pinching his nasal bridge with two fingers.

"Sounded like it went well."

"Shut the (censored) up, Bradley!"

Shannon, still thinking he was in control, stepped into the middle of the wounded crowd and began to speak again.

"Is everyone all right?"

Barry huffed and glared at the dark koopa. "What the (censored) do you think?"

"We already lost Benson, Steve, and Konley, Shannon. Half of our team is dead," said Harry.

"Look guys, I know we've been hit hard, but this is only a minor setback. Trowzer just told me that reinforcements are on the way. If we head back into the corridor and try to find out where this assailant is hiding, maybe we can kill him and his troops will scatter. Before the reinforcements arrive, we're gonna go back inside—"

"No, we're not," said Bradley quickly.

Shannon blinked. "I don't need any more of your snarky rebuttals, Bradley."

"It's not a rebuttal! It's common (censored) sense! Did you not see what just happened in there?! They knew exactly where and how to hit us; look around, Shannon. Team Beta seems kinda small, dont'cha think?" asked Sara.

"They have a point, Shannon. Whoever was leading that team hit us hard, and I doubt they're gonna retreat now that they know they've killed half of us," added Mel.

"Tch! I didn't expect you of all people to agree with the rest of these cowards. You want to stay in here twiddling our thumbs, just waiting for backup to arrive?"

Mel blinked, his face emotionless. But his red eyes seemed to glow brighter than before, as though it were some kind of warning that he was getting angrier and angrier.

"No one here is a coward, Shannon. We all want to survive, and we all want to take over this castle with minimal casualties. We obviously can't do that now, thanks to your recklessness and poor leadership skills."

"Oh, sure, because you're such a better leader than I am. Clearly that wound in your gut says so."

Green, who had been silent ever since Steve had been killed, had finally decided to speak. "SHUT UP!"

Shannon glanced over at the ninjakoopa and smirked. "Don't address me with that tone, Green."

"Or what? You're gonna kill me like you did Steve?"

Shannon turned to face Green. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I wasn't the one who fired the chain chomp teeth at him. I understand that you're upset—"

"SHUT YOUR (CENSORED) MOUTH! This whole (censored) time he's been sitting here calling you bitch-boy over and over again, belittling you in front of 'your' team. You got tired of hearing his voice so a little 'accident' happened, right?"

"Why on earth would you think that?"

"I tried to save him! I…that tooth was in his neck, and you yanked it out intentionally! And then you stabbed him again in a different area on his neck and made it worse!"

Shannon shrugged. "I'm sorry, Green. I'm not a medical professional. I panicked; I thought pulling out the tooth would help. That doesn't make me a murderer."

"Oh, okay. So you're just an idiot then."

Shannon frowned when he heard a few troops snicker to themselves, including Harry and Barry. He growled and walked over to Green, but kept his anger to a minimal level. Instead of threatening Green, he put on a fake smile and grabbed Green's shoulder.

"I know it's hard to lose a friend—"

Green shoved his hand away. "Don't you (censored) touch me. You don't know what it's like to lose a friend—you've never had one!"

More snickering was heard, causing Shannon to scowl. "Don't take your grief out—"

"No, Shannon, no. Steve had every right to call you bitch-boy all the time. Because that's all you are. You walk around here thinking that you're special, that you're in charge of the situation, but you're not! You can't lead an army, you can't make any friends, you can't handle conflicts that arise because (censored) hit the fan."

Shannon noticed he was stepping backwards, and that Green was stepping towards him.

"All you do is walk around here with a sarcastic attitude and your fake-ass smiles trying to be someone's best pal. But the truth is, you don't give a (censored) about _any_ of us! You call everyone a coward and an idiot because you know that you're one yourself and it makes you feel better. Face it, Shannon: your mouth is your biggest weapon; it's your only weapon!"

Shannon grunted when his shell touched one of the concrete walls. He ran out of room to walk backwards, and now Green was standing directly in front of him staring him in the eyes.

"You're too scared to tell Trowzer that you failed, you're too much of a dumbass to lead this team, and you're too much of a coward to stand there and face me without backing up into a corner. You're not some brave soldier or some hardass who's earned the privilege to brag about his epic fights in the past. You're just a pussy walking around with a fake pair of balls dangling from your groin. …And you know it."

That last comment hit Shannon very hard. He stared at Green with wide eyes and felt his heart beating fast. Shannon started to breathe heavily, trying to think of something smarmy or condescending to say to the ninjakoopa. But nothing came out his mouth. Green backed away from Shannon and leaned against a Bower pedestal, his arms folded. Shannon flicked his eyes left and right, still speechless. Some of the troops were staring at him with shame, while others were simply smirking, knowing that Green was right. Eventually, Shannon just walked over to another pedestal and leaned up against it, not even bothering to look at Trowzer's troops.

"…So, it's agreed then. We'll all wait here until reinforcements arrive," said Mel.

Everyone in the room (except Shannon) nodded or agreed with the dark koopatrol. Barry turned and looked at the dark koopa standing by himself and grinned.

"…_Bitch-boy_."

Shannon jerked his head over at the blue Yoshi and began to shake, his right hand forming into a fist. Barry just chuckled and turned back around, knowing that Shannon wouldn't do or say anything. Much to Shannon's surprise, he didn't. The dark koopa unclenched his fist and sighed as he looked down at the floor.

* * *

"This is the third area we've checked. Are you absolutely sure they're here?" asked Kooper.

Bosley nodded. "It has to be. That dragon just got done roasting another wild ptooie piranha. If I'm right, then we should find solid ground nearby; they probably have the kids tied around a tree or something."

"Fine. Let's try to be as quiet as possible then."

The area they were in was the final part to the Jammin' Through the Trees level. Hooktail had been hovering her way across the area frying wild ptooie piranhas with her breath while Geno, Bosley and Kooper had to hop from tree to tree to get to where they were going. The three of them all grunted when they hopped off the final tree and reached the ground. The three heroes and dragon slowly walked forward, using the darkness and large bushes to their advantage. Two dark koopatrols were seen up ahead walking right towards them. The heroes threw themselves into a nearby bush while Hooktail remained where she was. The dark koopatrols just looked up at Hooktail and nodded; she nodded back. Obviously neither of them had any idea that Hooktail was no longer working on Trowzer's side. After the dark koopatrols had left, the heroes emerged from the bushes and continued to walk through the grass.

"I'm guessing you don't know what specific location they're at?" asked Geno.

"No. Maybe if we hear something—"

"GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFFA ME!"

Bosley jerked his head left. "That sounded like Eddard!"

"Who?" asked Kooper.

"This kid I know; it doesn't matter what his name is. We've gotta save him!"

The heroes and dragon quickly turned left and ran through a set of thick bushes. When they reached the end of the shrubs, they glanced up ahead and could see two blue-shelled koopas dragging a young yellow Yoshi with a blue bandanna tied around his head along the ground. He was kicking and thrashing his legs around, trying to break free from his captors. Both of them were emotionless but struggling to keep the yellow dinosaur in their grasps; he wouldn't stop wriggling.

"There's only two of them. Let's ambush—"

"Better think again, Kooper. Look over there," said Geno.

Kooper turned and frowned. There were at least six other kids sitting beside a large tree with no less than five koopa troopas guarding them. Even worse, the yellow dragon Dracolin was there as well, looking at the adolescent Yoshis with a devious smile on his face. The two koopas holding Eddard tossed him alongside the other children, and the Yoshi immediately got back up and tried to attack the guard. The blue-shelled koopas effortlessly kicked the yellow dinosaur in the gut, sending him to his knees coughing.

"If I were you, I'd stay still and keep quiet," said the koopa.

Eddard coughed a few more times. "Yeah, well, you're not me, now are ya?"

The blue-shelled koopa with a green bandanna around his head ignored him and took out his radio.

"This is Marcus. We just captured another child. What do you want me to do with the rest of the group?"

Geno and the others could hardly make out who was on the other end of the radio. They could hardly even hear Marcus' voice. But they remained hidden just in case another group of Trowzer's forces ended up coming by. Marcus waited for the koopa on the other end to reply before he answered.

"So you don't want us to kill them? …Okay, fine. I guess we can use them as a bargaining chip when we find the leader. Have you made any progress?"

Once again the heroes couldn't hear, but judging by Marcus' reaction, it wasn't good.

"This is impossible! This island's too large; the leader could be anywhere by now! How the hell are we supposed to find him without bringing in more men or more dragons? …Yeah, I suppose that could work. Just keep looking for the leader; we'll be fine over here. Marcus out."

The shady koopa put the radio back in his shell and sighed. He looked up at the yellow dragon and started to speak to him.

"We're not to kill any of the children. The lieutenant wants them alive in the long run."

Dracolin huffed. "I figure you'd say something like that. Ah well, I guess I can stay here and keep 'em company. You guys go on ahead and look for the leader; I'll stay here and guard 'em."

Marcus nodded and whistled loudly. He and the rest of the blue-shelled koopas wearing green bandannas gathered up their weapons and walked away. Now no one was there besides Dracolin and the Yoshi kids.

"What about now? You think we can take that dragon by ourselves?" asked Kooper.

"As much as I'd love to see you get roasted, I'd advise against that. Just because Dracolin's an immature hatchling into potty humor doesn't mean he's not strong. I'm pretty sure he'd be capable of giving my brother a hard time in battle, let alone myself," said Hooktail.

"Maybe we won't have to fight him. We could wait for the dragon to fall asleep and then take the kids before he wakes back up. Or maybe we could distract him or knock him out. Simple, right?" suggested Bosley.

Geno nodded. "Good enough. Let's get closer first."

Hooktail had to stay where she was; there weren't any other bushes or trees she could hide behind without exposing herself. But Geno, Kooper and Bosley all found a bush that was only a couple of yards from where the children were being held. Dracolin was pacing back and forth, grinning as he looked down at the kids, some of whom were sniffling or crying. The yellow dragon chuckled.

"What's wrong? I thought you children like dragons?"

"Oh please! We like dragons as much as we like clowns," said the yellow Yoshi, Eddard.

"But I'm not a bad guy! I'm quite friendly once you get to know me, and I adore kids."

A pink Yoshi sniffled and wiped her eyes. "You…you do?"

Dracolin turned and stared directly at her. "Yes, little girl. You're all so flavorful and small, just like popcorn chicken."

Not surprisingly, the pink Yoshi started sobbing again, and quickly scooted away from Dracolin.

"Leave her alone!"

Dracolin snorted and turned to Eddard. "No. Don't you children get it? You're only alive because our boss said so. But sooner or later, he's not gonna care what I do to any of you. And until he gives me the order to eat all of you whole, I can torment you anyway I please!"

"Pfft! Whatcha gonna do: torture us with your stinky breath? I think you've done that enough already."

Dracolin growled in his throat. "How's about I tell you how long it takes for my jaw to crush that thick skull of yours?"

Too tired of seeing the dragon torment the kids, Kooper intentionally stepped on a twig, snapping it. Dracolin snarled and turned around, looking left and right.

"Who's there?!"

The dragon slowly stepped away from the Yoshis, allowing Geno, Kooper and Bosley to walk a little closer to the young dinosaurs. Unfortunately, as Dracolin began to walk away, he spotted Hooktail's tail sticking out of the area she was hiding in.

"…Hooktail?"

The red dragon's eyes grew wide. She tried to conceal herself more, but it was impossible. Her curly purplish tail was sticking out.

"I know you're there, Hooktail! I can see your tail!"

The female dragon closed his eyes and exhaled with exasperation. She stepped out of her hiding spot and revealed herself to the yellow dragon.

"Hello, Dracolin," she muttered.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be back at Bowser's castle with all the other dragons?"

Hooktail snorted. "What do you think I'm doin' here, moron? I came to check up on you and the others, wanted to make sure you haven't already fouled up the situation."

"Then why were you hiding from me?"

"I wasn't hiding. Your stench was making me gag; I was trying to find a secluded spot away from you so I could retch in peace."

Dracolin blinked. "Cute. Well, since you're here, you may as well stay. In fact, why don't you take my duties and guard these kids while I go find more prey on my own?"

"Be glad to."

Hooktail slowly walked over to the Yoshi children, but just as she got near them, Dracolin's eyes grew wide.

"'Be glad to'? Just a second ago you couldn't wait to insult me. Now you're perfectly fine with looking after these kids, even though it's my job, not yours?"

"We're all on the same side here. And I can't think of a proper way to insult you right now…not that I don't want to."

Dracolin growled and stepped close to Hooktail. "Why are you _really_ here? How do I know you won't set these children free while I'm gone? You've never liked Trowzer, and I already know you hate me. What better way to get back at us than by screwing up a crucial part of Trowzer's schemes?"

Hooktail rolled her eyes. "You're paranoid. Look, if you don't want my help, then I'll leave."

Just as Hooktail turned around and began to flap her wings, Dracolin snarled and beckoned for her to stay.

"STOP!"

Hooktail stopped flapping her wings and huffed. "What now?"

Dracolin grinned. "Fine…let's say I believe you. Let's say you're really just here for the sole purpose of helping me out. If you're so loyal to Trowzer, then eat that kid over there."

All the Yoshi kids gasped when Dracolin looked at Eddard. The small yellow Yoshi began to breathe heavily, panicking. Hooktail glanced at Eddard, then back at Dracolin.

"Err…I'm not all that hungry—"

"Now I know _that's_ a lie. You must be starving from flying so far! So why not fill your stomach by gobbling down this bothersome Yoshi here?"

"…I'm pretty sure Trowzer doesn't want any harm to come to these kids."

"Trowzer ain't here, now is he? 'Sides, we're dragons. He won't care if we have a snack here and there."

Hooktail huffed harshly; there was no point in arguing with him. "Fine, if it'll get you to stop whining about it."

Eddard screamed and tried to run away, but Hooktail quickly pinned him down with her left front foot.

"GAH! Let me go, LET ME GO!"

The three heroes just watched Hooktail as she hesitated, still contemplating about whether or not she should really eat him.

"You have to stop her, Geno! She's gonna eat that kid!" whispered Kooper with a semi-loud voice.

"No…I'm sure she's got something planned…let's just wait and see what happens," he muttered.

Hooktail kept staring down at the thrashing young boy while Dracolin gradually became impatient.

"I'm waiting!" he barked.

The red dragon closed her eyes and sighed. After she opened them, the dragon lowered her head and sniffed Eddard a few times. Then she lifted her foot and opened her mouth wide…

* * *

"LEFT SIDE!"

Morton looked to his left and could see that one of the wild wings had finally reached him. Lucky for him, an item box was up ahead. The koopaling slammed his kart against the wild wing and quickly drove into the item box. Unfortunately, he wound up grabbing a giant lightning cloud. The loud-mouthed koopaling looked up and could see the giant cloud crackling, waiting to zap him with lightning.

"OH, WHAT THE (CENSORED)?! REALLY?!"

Lemmy ducked when the driver of the other wild wing started to fire at him. A few bullets bounced off the piranha prowler; Lemmy had to veer to the left and right, the tires screeching as he tried to steer away from the gunfire. Lemmy glanced behind his shoulder and could see that the other wild wing wasn't far behind. He swore just moments before he saw a giant truck up ahead. Lemmy jerked his kart in the left direction, hoping the driver would follow him. But he was much smarter than some of the other drivers, and they both wound up avoiding the truck. Meanwhile, Morton was busy bumping his kart into the wild wing that was on his left side. The driver looked up and swore before he bumped his kart into Morton's. Morton swore and bumped his kart into the wild wing. The wild wing driver yelped and bumped his kart into the Koopa King. Morton yelped and bumped his kart into the wild wing. The wild wing driver swore again and bumped his kart into Morton's vehicle. Morton swore again and bumped his kart into the wild wing. The wild wing driver shouted with frustration and slammed his kart into Morton's Koopa King.

"OH MY GOOOOOOD! JUST SHUT UP AND ZAP SOMEBODY YOU (CENSORED) CLOUD!"

…And that's when the lightning cloud began to crackle even louder than before while hovering over Morton's kart.

"NO! NOT ME YOU DUMBASS!"

Furious, Morton shouted and slammed his kart into the wild wing. Just as the wild wing was about to veer in Morton's direction, the koopaling slammed on the brakes. The wild wing wound up slamming his kart into nothing, and the cloud was still hovering over his kart. Lemmy glanced to his left and briefly saw the driver get zapped by thousands of volts of electricity. He screamed horribly as the lightning bolts fried him and his kart to a crisp. After all the zapping and thunder had ceased, the lightning cloud dissipated. The wild wing slowed down and eventually stopped in the middle of the road, with smoke coming out of the driver's charred corpse. Morton was steadily speeding back up to Lemmy and the other wild wing. As he reached his brother, Lemmy looked to his left twice and saw an upcoming alleyway.

"Down that alley!" he shouted.

Morton could see it too. He turned the right way this time and his kart screeched as he skidded along the road. Lemmy did the same thing, just as two more bullets bounced off the side of his kart. Morton and Lemmy managed to enter the alley, but the wild wing driver turned too late, and wound up hitting the building on the right side of the alley. Lemmy turned around, panting and making sure that no one else was following him or Morton. They were in the clear as far as he could tell. Lemmy stopped panting so hard and breathed heavily as he followed Morton down the alley. After such a long moment of driving, they seemed to be free. But Lemmy was still on alert, knowing that another dark koopatrol could show up on a large bike. And his guess was right; as soon as they left the alley, Lemmy could hear another motorcycle's engine revving.

"Lemmy—"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear it!" he snapped.

Unfortunately for them, that wasn't their own problem. Up ahead Morton could see an offroader coming straight for them. Like the piranha prowler Lemmy was driving, it was built for two occupants, and the shady koopa in the back was holding a rocket launcher. Without even hesitating, the passenger standing in the back fired a missile bill. Lemmy and Morton shouted and steered their karts in opposite directions. The missile bill zoomed right in-between the two karts, leaving behind a large cloud of smoke. Lemmy snarled and jerked his kart to the left, smashing into the offroader and nearly knocking the passenger off. Morton and Lemmy regrouped and kept driving forward onto another highway in the city. That's when the motorcycles finally showed up: two Mach bikes being driven by shady koopas. Morton growled as he glanced behind his shoulder at the three vehicles following them.

"You got any more of those weapons you used back there?!" asked Morton.

"No! That was the only one I had; I threw it on the street!"

"Why?! Some kid could find it!"

Lemmy shouted when he was nearly shot in the head three times. "Don't you think we have bigger problems now than a child finding a lethal weapon?!"

Morton looked behind his shoulder again and growled. "…I'm gonna try something! When I say 'now' I want you to jump back into this kart!"

"Is this gonna get one of us killed?!"

"Probably!"

"…Maybe we should—"

"NOW!"

Everything suddenly happened so fast. Relying merely on reflex, Lemmy abandoned the piranha prowler and jumped into the Koopa King. Simultaneously, Morton hopped into the passenger seat and allowed his brother to drive. Morton stared at the offroader as it got closer and closer to their kart and prepared to jump.

"STOP!"

"What?!"

"JUST DO IT!"

Lemmy slammed on the brakes. The koopa driving the kart tried to stop as well, but he was too late. The offroader crashed into the back of the Koopa King, and Morton quickly hopped into the driver's seat. He and the driver wrestled around over the handgun the driver carried, but Morton was much bigger and stronger than Lemmy. It only took him a few seconds to snatch the gun out of the koopa's hand and kick him out of the kart. The passenger in the back seat screamed seconds before Morton pointed the handgun at him and shot him three times. His body went tumbling out the kart.

"…Huh. So that's how these things work."

Morton ducked when one of the Mach bike riders started to fire at the offroader with a submachine gun. The koopaling tried to sit up and take out the Mach bike rider, but the koopa was firing too many bullets. Morton saw black smoke coming from the engine and noticed his kart was going slower. He needed to switch karts, and fast. Thinking quickly, Morton stood up in his seat still clutching the handgun and hastily jumped into the back of the Koopa King. Morton shouted when he lost his footing and slipped, but Lemmy quickly jerked his right arm around and grabbed Morton's right hand. The heavy koopaling grunted as he was slowly pulled back up. Panting, Morton pointed the handgun left and started to fire at the driver on the Mach bike. But Morton seemed to care more about firing the gun than hitting his target. The Mach bike rider slowed down and veered a little, but none of the bullets got anywhere near the driver.

"YEEEEEEEAAAAH! HOW'S IT FEEL NOW ASSHOLES?!"

Suddenly, the gun made two clicking sounds. Morton looked down at his handgun and frowned. He used up all the bullets.

"Oops," he said meekly.

The Mach bike rider was right behind the Koopa King now, holding the submachine gun in his hands. Morton shrieked and crouched down, covering his head when Lemmy drove right into an item box. Morton was rewarded with a special item: Bowser's Shell. Morton shouted as he threw the oversized spiky shell at the pursuing bike. The koopa on board had no time to veer to the left or right and was subsequently pulverized by the shell. The shell continued to roll its way down the street, hitting the missile bill that was fired earlier. It even slammed into the wild wing that had crashed into a wall just before Lemmy and Morton entered the alleyway; the driver had recovered from the crash and continued his pursuit. But the shell annihilated the wild wing, and the koopalings only had to deal with one Mach bike rider now. Morton couldn't help but snicker and shout triumphantly. Lemmy jerked the kart to the right and bumped into the other Mach bike rider right when they drove underneath a highway bridge. Suddenly, Morton grunted and was nearly thrown forward when the Koopa King screeched to a halt.

"What the hell, Lemmy?! I almost fell…"

Lemmy and Morton stared up ahead with wide eyes. At least five Mach bikes were on their side of the road driving towards them. And all the riders were all armed with some kind of weapon. Lemmy could easily run through two of the bikes with his giant kart, but he couldn't take the risk. Even if the koopas had terrible aim, he knew that they'd hit him or Morton by mistake once they got close. Having no other option, Lemmy put the kart in reverse and began to go backwards. The Mach bike chasing after the koopalings zoomed right past them into the crossfire of the other bikes. Just as the blockade of Mach bike riders fired, the rider chasing after Lemmy and Morton was accidentally gunned down. Both koopalings kept their heads down as bullets whizzed past them and the kart. Several bullets hit the kart, and one of them almost popped one of the tires.

"Hurry up, Lemmy! They're getting closer!"

Lemmy growled with frustration right when he noticed he just reversed past an exit sign. Lemmy put the Koopa King back in drive and hurriedly drove down the exit. The five bikes speeding their way to the koopalings suddenly stopped and the riders turned to their left and saw the Koopa King slowly ascending along a spiral road. Lemmy and Morton finally got onto the highway bridge and began to drive alongside traffic. Having no other plan he could come up with, Lemmy spun the wheel around and turned the kart in the other direction. Morton screamed and held onto to the handlebar on the back when he lost his footing and almost fell.

"Uh, gee bro, I think this is the wrong way!"

Lemmy blinked. "I know."

Not caring about the oncoming traffic, Lemmy pressed his foot down on the gas pedal and began to drive in the exact opposite direction, ignoring all the cars honking their horns at him. The five Mach bike riders had just gotten onto the bridge when they saw the Koopa King speeding in the wrong direction. Nevertheless, all the bike riders revved their engines and began their pursuit. But things went wrong right from the start; one bike rider waited too long to move and was caught off-guard by a large truck. The truck driver honked his horn twice before the bike rider shouted and was subsequently run over. Both Lemmy and the bike riders were having trouble getting through traffic, especially Lemmy. The koopaling couldn't stop steering in different directions; the Koopa King was very large, and hard to turn. Morton kept ducking and yelping when Lemmy almost collided with an oversized bus or gasoline truck.

"(CENSORED)! That car just _barely_ hit me, Lemmy!"

"Shut up! I know what I'm doin'!"

Suddenly, Lemmy's eyes grew wide when a massive white bus came right towards him. He shouted and skidded along the road, but not without having the side of the kart scrape along the side of the bus. If Morton had stuck his left hand out, he would've been able to touch the metal. He screamed and ducked, trembling.

"…Kinda," muttered Lemmy.

The only good thing about the situation was that the Mach bike riders were also having much trouble weaving their way through traffic. All the bike riders had to swerve in all sorts of directions to avoid getting hit; two riders nearly lost control when they almost ran into a car that was switching lanes. One of the riders in the back of the group decided to drive in-between two large buses since his bike could fit through them. Unfortunately, after he passed them, he reacted on instinct and suddenly jerked his bike into the lane on his left. It wasn't until after he switched lanes that he noticed he was driving right towards a bomb-car that had conveniently switched lanes at just the wrong moment. He swore out loud and tried to steer away, but it was too late. One of the bike riders glanced over his shoulder and saw a huge explosion several yards away. He scowled and turned back around so he could focus on his objective. At the rate the riders were going, they'd all be dead in a matter of minutes, maybe seconds. They needed to speed this up, and fast.

The lead Mach bike rider accelerated past his group and drove as close to the fleeing Koopa King as he could. Then he took a handgun out of his shell and started shooting. They had no other option; they were just gonna have to take out the koopalings, even if it meant hitting one of the other cars by mistake. The driver fired three rounds and almost hit Morton, but Lemmy swerved to the left just in time. The driver slowed down and immediately merged into another lane seconds before a gasoline truck pulverized him. He was further away from the koopalings, but the dark koopa still thought he could get a shot off. So he fired three more times. But Lemmy swerved to his right, and the last shot wound up going through a car's windshield and hitting the driver in the head. The car immediately jerked into the lane on the right and collided with another car, causing them both to roll around on the highway.

"Oh, (censored)," muttered the driver.

The dark koopa managed to steer away from the rolling cars without a scratch, but the other dark koopas weren't so lucky. Shrapnel from the wreckage went flying through the air, and something sharp pierced the front tire of one bike. The dark koopa shouted and tried to steer out the way, but it was no use. As his bike went out of control, the other rider was equally unlucky. He started to steer away from the crash, only to have shrapnel fly at his face. The dark koopa was knocked off his bike, and the other koopa wound up getting caught up in the crash. He was thrown off his bike and flipped through the air a few times before he slammed into the windshield of a bus, cracking the glass. His body quickly plummeted to the ground, and the koopa was dragged beneath the tires. The bike rider who had caused the accident turned around and noticed a devastating pile-up had formed, and that neither koopalings were involved in the mayhem.

"This is impossible, Lemmy! We can't outrun that bike with his big-ass kart!"

Lemmy shut his eyes and growled. "You're right…take the wheel; I'm gonna try something again!"

Morton was more than happy to be driving again. Since the road wasn't separated by any barriers, Morton turned the kart around and drove on the other side of the road. But once again, they were intentionally going in the wrong direction. The dark koopa on the motorcycle growled with frustration and imitated Morton. Too furious to care if he hit any oncoming cars, he accelerated as fast as the bike would let him go. He was only a few feet away from the Koopa King; the dark koopa could practically see what color Lemmy's eyes were. The dark koopa took out his handgun and pointed it at Lemmy. He had a perfect target at his head. Suddenly, Lemmy leaped off the Koopa King and twisted his body around. The dark koopa's eyes grew wide as he saw Lemmy's feet coming right for him. The dark koopa grunted when Lemmy's yellow soles collided with his face. The koopa was kicked with both feet, and he screamed as he went tumbling off the bike. Lemmy put his arms down and yelped when he landed right on top of the bike. It wobbled a little at first, but after he adjusted himself, he was sitting on the Mach bike perfectly and driving it with ease.

"…Holy (censored), that actually worked!"

Morton slowed down the kart so Lemmy could catch up to him, now riding the sleek black and purple motorcycle.

"Where the hell did you learn how to do that?!"

"Uh…_Grand Theft Auto: Vice City_?"

"But…HOW?! How is it even physically possible to do what you just did?!"

"Who gives a (censored)? It looked cool!"

Morton laughed and grinned. "That it did bro!"

The brothers were busy celebrating their temporary victory when they heard another engine revving up ahead. More dark koopas; this time two of them were on one bike. One was obviously the driver and the other was the shooter. Morton groaned with exasperation and slammed his fists on the wheel, making the horn honk.

"Why don't they just send a (censored) helicopter while they're at it?!"

And that's when a black and blue helicopter conveniently appeared from several yards away. Lemmy and Morton looked up in the sky and saw the giant chopper hovering near the highway, with a dark koopatrol sitting on the edge of it holding a heavy machine gun. Lemmy turned to look at Morton, scowling.

"You just _had_ to open your mouth!"


	44. Run Turtle Junk, part 3

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 3. Trowzer and his team deploy "chemical" weapons onto a squadron of Bowser's troops, Hooktail finally makes her decision regarding Eddard, and Morton and Lemmy are forced to do something risky when they discover another chopper on their tails.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 3)**

"That's not fair, Trowzer. I wasn't expecting—"

"I DON'T CARE! You and what's left of Team Beta sit tight and wait until backup arrives. Try not to (censored) that up too."

Shannon sighed heavily. "Yes…sir."

Trowzer lifted his finger from the button on the radio and shoved it back inside his shell. The oversized koopa swore loudly and took out his frustration on a Hammer Bro.'s corpse, which he kicked down a flight of stairs. Trowzer sat down on a stair step and sighed heavily, rubbing his head.

"Something wrong, sir?" asked a Fire Bro.

Trowzer sighed heavily. "I need you to get on your radio and call for reinforcements."

"Already? We've only begun our assault."

"It seems that Shannon doesn't know how to command his army. Half of Team Beta's dead, and they haven't made much progress in the sector they're in."

"Are you serious?! How many—"

"We will deal with the body count later. Just call in reinforcements while I think of a way to break into this next room."

The Fire Bro. nodded. "Yes, sir."

As the Fire Bro. began to walk away, Trowzer stood up and began to pace back and forth. He couldn't just charge into the chamber in front of him; they could be ambushed as easily as Team Beta. They had no way of climbing above the room and dropping bombs into the chamber; that was out of the question too. Trowzer crouched down and looked at the giant double doors sitting in front of him. There were no cracks along the floor, no secret passageways hidden beneath the tiles. There was no way they could get inside besides using the front door. That's when Trowzer looked up and saw a few air vents leading into the room right in front of him. The giant koopa scratched his chin and blinked. Maybe he wouldn't need to break into the room—at least, not at first. Trowzer grinned and chuckled to himself.

"That's perfect. Zorblax!"

The putrid piranha slowly walked over to Trowzer and began to speak. "You rang?"

"I think I've found some use for you after all. You see those air vents up there?"

"Of course not. I have no eyes," said Zorblax, before snickering.

Trowzer blinked. "Don't get cute with me. Now tell me…how many putrid piranhas did you bring with you?"

"We don't have many in our league, but since you said this mission is so important, I just brought 'em all."

"Good, good. This is what I want you all to do…"

* * *

Tubba Blubba couldn't stop pacing back and forth. It wasn't the oncoming onslaught that scared the giant beast, but rather what could be commanding it. The giant creature was terrified of ghosts, and ever since his fight with Mario, he never mustered the courage to go out and eat anymore boos. As a result, the boos in Forever Forest wound up getting back at the beast by scaring the living daylights out of him. And the one thing Tubba Blubba feared was that Trowzer had teamed up with an atomic boo and they were both waiting on the other side of the door.

"What-what if he's got some mega ultra-boo, or-or this supersonic ghost, or this flesh-eating—"

"Just be quiet! Geez, you used to eat ghosts for a living for crying out loud! You were the monster that made troops like me scared to use the bathroom at night just from hearing rumors about you!"

Tubba Blubba whimpered. "I just…I can't stand boos!"

The Boomerang Bro. standing beside him huffed. "Jesus, just shine a flashlight at them or some (censored); they'll disappear immediately afterwards."

The Boomerang Bro. flared his nostrils and scooted away from the giant beast. "Honestly, with how much you reek, you can just scare the boos away with your body odor!"

"I do not stink! I just…" Tubba Blubba stopped talking when a certain odor crept into his nostrils and made him cough. He waved a hand in front of his face, but the smell was only getting stronger. The Boomerang Bro. started to cough too. In fact, the smell was so strong that it began to burn his eyes. Other koopas in the chamber were having trouble breathing and detected the foul odor as well. Unbeknown to all of Bowser's troops, there were several putrid piranhas stationed right outside the room, their bodies positioned right behind the open air vents. They were taking turns opening their mouths and exhaling their poisonous breath into the room. At first no one noticed anything beside a bad smell. But the room they were in had no windows or any other vents. As time progressed, the stench became thicker, and the poison breath was starting to mess with Bowser's troops' noses.

"What—" A nearby Hammer Bro. fell to his knees and started to hack violently. He couldn't get a single word out because his lungs were filling with the toxic fumes. Tubba Blubba glanced up ahead and saw an odd-colored gas seeping into the room. The gas was slowly filling up the chamber, fogging it.

"THERE! SOMEONE—" Tubba Blubba couldn't finish. He fell to the floor and pointed up to the air vents, hoping someone had seen him.

"I'm on it!"

A Boomerang Bro. slowly ran over to the air vents, coughing and hacking as the poison breath crept into his lungs. When he finally reached the wall and looked up, the Boomerang Bro. noticed the air vents were too high. He jumped up a few times in a pathetic attempt to reach them, but it was pointless. There was no way anyone in the room could reach the vents without using a ladder or having a group of troops climb onto each other's shoulders.

"I can't reach it!"

"What the hell are we…Tubba Blubba?!"

The giant beast was lying on the floor, hacking so much he couldn't breathe. At the rate everyone was going they'd suffocate in a matter of minutes. The Boomerang Bro. who kept trying to reach the vents was on all fours now, retching as his eyes and lungs burned. The turtle actually vomited all over the floor, collapsing in his own puddle of muck as the poisonous gases filled his lungs. And the situation was about to get much worse…

* * *

"All right! That's enough!" shouted Trowzer.

Zorblax and the other putrid piranhas stopped exhaling into the air vents. They jumped off the tower of dark koopa shells they stood on in order to reach the vents and watched as the reptiles emerged from their shells. All of them broke away from the tower and regrouped with Trowzer and the rest of the gang. The large koopa dug into his shell and pulled out a gasmask big enough for his face. He quickly strapped the mask on and started to breathe heavily, to the point where most of his troops could hear.

"Masks on," he said, his voice hollow from the mask.

Everyone in the crowd proceeded to strap on their gasmasks (except the putrid piranhas) and approached the door. Red and Black glanced at each other as they breathed heavily into the mask.

"Remember: don't kill anyone unless they shoot at you."

Black exhaled. "Do you really think I _want_ to?"

The one-eyed Fire Bro. whom Trowzer was talking to earlier stood next to the door, alongside Trowzer. The Fire Bro. lifted his right hand with three fingers held up before he slowly began to count backwards. When all his fingers were down, Trowzer nodded and shouted out, "GO!" The brute koopa kicked in the door and began to run inside, his troops following. The Boomerang Bro. simmering in his own puke didn't even have time to look up before Trowzer shot him in the back of the head, the bullet going through his helmet. Everyone in the room had heard the gunshot, but nearly everyone was too weak to fight back. The Fire Bro. wearing an eye patch lifted his submachine gun and effortlessly gunned down three koopatrols units taking cover beside a tipped-over table. Another koopatrol swore out loud and dug for a bob-omb in his shell, but just when he took it out, a shady koopa shot him in-between the eyes. A Hammer Bro. with a scar on his cheek already knew that Tubba Blubba's group of soldiers was gonna lose. Still hacking, he turned around and headed for the door leading to safety.

Tubba Blubba could hear the bullets being fired, but he couldn't see much of anything, nor did he know where the enemy was attacking. To the right of the monstrous clubba, three more koopatrol units were gunned down by the one-eyed Fire Bro. To the left of him a red-shelled koopa troopa was trying to stab Trowzer in the head. But the oversized turtle easily grabbed his arm with his left hand, and used his right to shoot the koopa troopa in the face three times with his handgun. That's when Tubba Blubba heard heavy breathing and slowly got to his feet. Right in front of him was a rather large Hammer Bro. wearing a purple shell instead of a green one. He breathed in an out through his mask before lifting two hammers and throwing himself at the giant clubba. Lucky for Tubba Blubba, his immense girth proved to be helpful; the Hammer Bro. bounced off the clubba's plump belly and landed on his shell. Thinking quickly, Tubba Blubba lifted the purple-shelled Hammer Bro. and held him in front of his body, using him as a crude shield. Some of Trowzer's troops had spotted Tubba Blubba and knew this would be the perfect opportunity to take him out. The Hammer Bro. could see where this was all going and began to panic.

"No, no, no! DON'T FIRE!"

No one listened. Two guards shot at Tubba Blubba and wound up hitting the Hammer Bro. in his right leg and stomach. The Hammer Bro. screamed in agony just before another soldier fired. He was immediately silenced when the bullet passed through the Hammer Bro.'s throat. Tubba Blubba crouched down and continued to use the Hammer Bro.'s body as a shield, although he was having less luck. The clubba looked all around the room and whimpered. In one area two koopa troopas were on the floor surrendering, pleading for their life. But a dark koopa just glanced at them and blew their brains out. In another area a Boomerang Bro. was hacking as he slowly dragged his body along the floor in an attempt to get a fallen pistol. But Trowzer kicked the reptile onto his shell and shot him twice in the face. To Tubba Blubba's right, two clubbas had managed to tolerate the poison that came from the putrid piranhas and were wildly swinging their clubs around. But they had no protection, and it wasn't long before a few stray bullets cut them both down. Several more bullets were fired in Tubba Blubba's direction; he found himself jerking his shield left and right on several occasions, just so he wouldn't get hit.

Tubba Blubba started to retreat; there was no point in staying in this room anymore. Everyone was getting slaughtered, and Trowzer had only lost three of his men so far. The giant clubba tossed the Hammer Bro.'s cadaver at the one-eyed Fire Bro., knocking him over. Afterwards, he panted and coughed as he sprinted for the back door. Several of Bowser's troops saw him fleeing and promptly followed their leader. A few of them were gunned down as they ran away, but after Tubba Blubba got the door open, they hurled themselves through and quickly slammed the door shut. The three troops who were left behind in the room were drilled full of holes when two shady koopas fired at them with shotguns. Trowzer walked over to a fallen koopa troopa and shot him in the neck before the gunfire abruptly ceased. Breathing deeply, Trowzer looked left and right before he turned around and scoped out the entire area. No one in the room who was part of Bowser's coalition was still alive.

"Are we clear?"

The one-eyed Fire Bro. groaned as he shoved the Hammer Bro.'s corpse off his body and stood up. "…I think so boss."

Trowzer snickered. "Cowards. Let's strike while the iron's hot men! Follow them! With any luck they'll lead us to someone who's willing to give us a decent fight!"

"Yes, sir!"

Trowzer and the rest of his men ran towards the same door Tubba Blubba and the others went through. But Black and Red were lagging behind, still feeling upset and ashamed that they had switched sides and this was what it had led to. The two ninjakoopas glanced over at a few dead koopas they once knew, koopas who were their friends at one point. But now they were gone forever, all because Trowzer couldn't control his greed for power.

"You guys comin' or what?!" asked the one-eyed Fire Bro.

Red stopped staring at the corpses and looked up. "Yeah…we're coming."

* * *

"Well? Are you gonna eat him or not?!" asked an impatient Dracolin.

Hooktail had hesitated briefly; she had opened her mouth but didn't do anything. She could only look down at the whimpering yellow Yoshi, who seemed to be paralyzed with fear. But she had to convince Dracolin that she was on their side. She had to do this. Hooktail lowered her head and swiftly chomped down on Eddard, picking him up with her mouth. She quickly stuffed the dinosaur into her maw before she turned around and blinked. Dracolin grinned widely and laughed.

"Y'know, for a second there, I thought you weren't gonna do it."

Hooktail turned away, too disgusted at Dracolin for what he just made her do. She didn't even feel like insulting the demented reptile.

"Oh, stop whining. You know these Yoshis taste exquisite. …Seems like I was wrong. I guess you're still on our side after all."

Hooktail nodded slowly.

"Well, I'm gonna go patrol the skies. Feel free to have more snacks if you get hungry again."

Hooktail watched as the Yellow dragon turned around and began to flap his wings. She lifted her head and watched as Dracolin took to the skies and began to fly away, his shadow disappearing as he gradually flew away from the group of children. The second the coast was clear, Kooper threw himself out the bushes and charged towards Hooktail.

"YOU BACKSTABBING BITCH!"

Before Kooper could reach the red dragon, Geno and Bosley tackled him to the ground. Kooper swore and grunted as he tried to wiggle his way free from their grasp.

"What the hell are you guys doing?! That (censored) snake just ate a kid!"

"We know that, Kooper! She had to; it was the only way she could keep her cover with Dracolin. If she hadn't eaten him, he would've suspected something and we would've been caught!"

Kooper growled and slowly began to slide his way out of their grasps. "I don't care! This whole time you haven't shown one iota of concern for these innocent creatures! Someone gave you an opportunity to eat a Yoshi and you took it just so you'd have a justified reason for doing it!"

Hooktail ignored the blue-shelled koopa's various shouts and turned to face the group of children. All of them whimpered and quickly scooted backwards, shaking and believing that they were gonna suffer the same fate as Eddard. Suddenly, Hooktail scowled and muttered something. She opened her mouth slightly and gagged, as though she were trying to spit. Hooktail gagged a few more times, shaking her head and opening her mouth slightly. She shut her eyes before she felt something solid filling up her mouth. Hooktail opened her eyes and mouth wide and proceeded to spit something large all over the ground. It rolled all the way over to the tree, the object completely laden with thick saliva. The object gasped loudly and started to pant. It was Eddard.

"Ned!"

"You're still alive!"

The children all crowded around the young Yoshi to give him a hug, but then frowned and backed away, groaning with disgust when they noticed how much slobber Eddard was soaked in. Hooktail groaned and shook her head, still spitting and trying to get the taste out her mouth.

"Ugh! I don't understand why Dracolin likes you creatures so much! I've eaten dirt more flavorful that you, child!"

Eddard stood up and stepped away from the tree, wiping some of the drool off his face. "Yeah, well, being inside your mouth isn't such a picnic either."

Kooper blinked and stared at Eddard and Hooktail. "Um…what just happened?"

The red dragon exhaled heavily and looked at Kooper. "You seriously thought I would stoop that low? Devouring an innocent child as some twisted way to irritate you, make you angry? I did put that Yoshi in my mouth, yes, but I didn't swallow him. I just kept him inside and hoped that Dracolin wouldn't notice that I never gulped him down. I just needed to make Dracolin _think_ that I ate him, that's all."

Geno and Bosley got off of Kooper and he stood up. "You see?" started Geno. "Hooktail's on our side. This isn't like Blaze again; we can trust her. And now that Dracolin and all of Trowzer's troops think she's working with them, we more or less have a double agent now. And that makes this mission a whole lot easier."

Kooper breathed heavily and looked at Hooktail. They stared at each other, still scowling, obviously knowing that they weren't gonna kiss and make up at any time soon. Hooktail didn't ask for an apology, not that she would get it. Meanwhile, Geno and Bosley walked over to the group of children who were still grateful to have Eddard back. The yellow Yoshi was busy wringing all the spit out his bandanna when the doll and blue Yoshi appeared.

"I suppose I should thank that dragon," muttered Eddard.

"It's probably best if you don't," said Bosley.

"How long have you guys been out here?" asked Geno.

"We don't know," said a very young green Yoshi. We got lost in the…um…this big thing—"

"The jungle, Ferore," said Eddard.

"Yeah, that! And then these big ugly men grabbed us and we…um…"

"Got separated and split into groups," said Eddard again.

"Right! And then that big mean dragon came and…what was that word?"

Eddard sighed heavily. "We were playing a game in the forest and got lost. Then all these guys with big weapons came in and started blasting everything. We all got separated as we ran away, and those guys captured all of us. Over half of these kids aren't even from my village; the only one I know is Ferore and Katy over there," said Eddard, pointing to a red Yoshi.

"Oh. How old are you kid? You seem bigger and smarter than the rest of the kids here," said Geno.

Eddard huffed. "I am not a kid! I'm almost thirteen years old! And my name's Eddard, not 'kid.'"

"How come you are here giant doll-man?" asked Ferore.

"We're here to stop all the 'big ugly men' and that 'big mean dragon' you mentioned earlier. We're the good guys."

"Yay! We're gonna go on an…um—"

"Adventure," said Eddard.

"No, you're not," interrupted Bosley. "We can't haul all you children around; it's too dangerous. One of you could get hurt or worse."

"Pfft! That's ridiculous! Kids don't ever die in stories or on TV shows. It's like we're bulletproof or something."

"Actually, there was that one show—"

Geno grunted when Bosley elbowed him in the gut. "Is your village safe, Ned?"

"Last time I checked."

"Good. I don't remember the way so you're gonna have to lead us to it. We're gonna drop you and the other kids off there and continue our search for other survivors."

"Awwww, I wanted to go on ad-vent-kur," muttered Ferore.

"Not today, Ferore. For now I want you kids to wade this out until the island's secure again."

Katy blinked and stepped over to Bosley. "Why are you covered in so much mud?"

Bosley blushed and scratched his head. "It's a long, disgusting story…"

* * *

Ned and Geno were at the head of the group as they walked through the dark forest. No enemy patrols had been spotted yet, but the heroes knew that they had to move fast or else Dracolin could show up again. Kooper was at the rear of the group standing next to Bosley. Hooktail was slowly walking behind them, her nostrils flaring as she stared at the blue-shelled koopa. The red dragon nudged Kooper a few times with her nose, causing him to turn around.

"What is it now? Are you offering up your scales so I can use them to make myself a pair of boots?"

Kooper grunted when Hooktail knocked him onto his shell after shoving him backwards with her head. Before he could get up, Hooktail pinned him down using her right front foot. Kooper grunted and tried to wiggle free as Hooktail growled and lowered her head.

"Now you listen to me. I don't want to be your friend, and I don't expect you to be mine. But don't you dare stand there and keep accusing me of being the bad guy. I'm better than Trowzer, and far better than that monster Dracolin. I already know that we're not gonna get along, but at the very least you can tolerate me during out journey. Sooner or later, you need to start trusting me."

"Hmph! Why should I trust you when you keep insulting me every chance you get?"

Hooktail grinned. "Because I find it amusing to see you turtles so angry."

Hooktail removed her foot and let Kooper roll over onto his stomach. The blue-shelled koopa stood up and wiped the dust off his shell.

"So, what? Even though we hate each other, we can still trust each other?"

Hooktail nodded. "That's right. Isn't that what your doll friend wants?"

"Yeah…I guess so."

"Now let's go," said Hooktail as she continued to walk. "Or are you too fat and lazy to keep up with us?"

Kooper sighed heavily and rejoined the group alongside Hooktail. "This is gonna be a long night…"

* * *

It was much more difficult weaving through traffic now that Morton and Lemmy had a helicopter on their tails. The gun mounted on the side of the chopper could easily demolish an entire building floor in less than a minute. All the vehicles that were caught in the chopper's path either exploded or immediately swerved out of control and crashed. Morton and Lemmy were actually forced to drive onto the other side of the road just so they could avoid the oncoming traffic. The koopalings didn't even care about the dark koopas chasing them on their Mach bike. The passenger on the bike was firing his submachine gun at them, but the koopalings could barely hear due to the hellacious gunfire coming from the chopper. Lemmy accelerated as fast as he could, with Morton slowly lagging behind. The trail of gunfire quickly began to catch up with the brothers; they swerved back onto the wrong side of the road. Both of them shouted as they drove right in-between two large trucks. The Mach bike rider veered onto the wrong side of the road as well, and the passenger began to reload his weapon. Just when the chopper was about to turn Morton and Lemmy into crimson, the gunfire abruptly stopped.

The machine gun mounted inside the helicopter had overheated; the dark koopatrol manning the gun shouted and banged his fists on the weapon with frustration. Morton and Lemmy quickly swerved onto the right side of the road again, and Lemmy ran right into an item box. Not even caring what item he got, Lemmy chucked his item behind his back at the Mach bike riders. It turned out to only be a banana peel, but the weapon was quite effective. The Mach bike driver shouted when his bike spun around towards the wrong side of the street. Before the two riders could recover, a white car plowed into them before the driver had the chance to honk her horn. The bike was wrecked and both drivers were hurled from their vehicles. Lemmy looked behind his shoulder, panting and making sure that no other vehicles were following them. But that wasn't the koopalings' main problem. The machine gun mounted in the chopper had cooled down, and the dark koopatrol inside was ready to fire again. Lemmy's eyes grew wide as he saw the turret slowly spinning faster and faster. He shouted and began to veer left and right when the bullets started to fly, pulverizing the road and any of the other drivers on the highway.

One car driver tried to stop but it was too late. The machine gun effortlessly annihilated the small white vehicle, causing it to explode. A red truck had holes drilled through the left side of it; it quickly veered onto the other side of the street, its tires skidding along the road. The truck tipped over onto its side and slid all over the street, creating a very large roadblock. Morton and Lemmy didn't look back as they heard incessant honking and crashing; they knew that a pile-up had just occurred. The dark koopatrol was still firing though; the koopalings knew they had to either outrun the chopper or at the very least take out its gunkoopa. Morton conveniently drove into another item box and acquired a red shell. Grinning, the dark brown koopaling grunted as he chucked the red shell up at the helicopter. The dark koopatrol jerked the machine gun up and easily riddled the red shell to bits. Due to how fragile the red shell was, it immediately broke apart into several large chunks. Morton frowned just in time for the dark koopatrol to point his gun down at the fleeing koopalings. The incessant gunfire started yet again, and the brothers screamed as they were nearly pulverized with the bullets.

Their only hope left was the tunnel up ahead. Lemmy could see it now; all they had to do was get inside and then they'd be safe. The helicopter wouldn't be able to follow; all the buildings surrounding the tunnel would block its path. Unfortunately, the pilot could see the tunnel too, and he noticed that the koopalings were going faster than ever. He needed to take them out, and fast. Luckily for the koopalings, the chopper's machine gun had overheated again. The dark koopatrol swore out loud and slammed his fists on the gun again, waiting for the giant weapon to cool down a second time. He listened as the gun hissed and prepared to shoot at the koopalings. Lemmy and Morton were almost at the tunnel now. It would be yards before they finally got inside. But the gun was cooling even faster than before. The dark koopatrol rushed the situation; he reached backwards and grabbed a bottle of water. After unscrewing the cap, the purple-shelled turtle dumped water on the end of the gun and watched as most of the water turned into steam. After most of the bottle's contents were gone, the dark koopatrol grabbed the gun again and aimed for the koopalings. The turret began to spin again; the bullets were about to fly.

Mere seconds after the gun began to fire, the koopalings got inside the tunnel. Unfortunately, one of the bullets managed to hit the back tire of Lemmy's Mach bike. He swore after hearing the pop and listened as the air began to hiss out his tire. Lemmy shouted as he began to wobble around on the motorcycle. The koopaling tried to slow down, but he found himself leaning over too much; Lemmy nearly fell off the bike.

"Ditch the bike, Lemmy! It's no good to you now!"

Lemmy was just about to jump back onto the Koopa King kart when the brothers exited the tunnel. Morton screamed and steered his kart to the left, straight down into an alleyway. Right in the middle of the road was another helicopter hovering very low to the ground. Inside was a dark koopatrol who had the chopper's machine gun pointed right at him. Lemmy hopped off the bike the second he saw the turret spin. He hid inside his yellowish-orange shell and bounced off the ground a few times as the machine gun began to fire at the motorcycle. Lemmy emerged from his shell and panted as he sprinted down the street, running towards Morton in the alleyway. The dark koopatrol slowly turned the turret over to Lemmy and tried to riddle the koopaling with bullets. But Lemmy shouted and threw himself into the alley, where he was safe from the oncoming fire. The koopaling got back up and rushed over to Morton, who had stopped the kart.

"Don't tell me we're out of gas!"

Morton sighed heavily. "It's a dead end. We're trapped!"

Lemmy was about to say something when he heard a loud engine revving several yards away. The small koopaling made a fist and shut his eyes, muttering swear words under his breath. Another bike was heading towards them.

"(Censored)! Lemmy, I think—"

"I know, I know!"

Before Lemmy could come up with another idea, the motorcycle had appeared. The driver parked the bike right at the start of the alley, giving Lemmy and Morton no chance to escape. The shady koopa sat on his flame runner, the engine rumbling softly. The pale-skinned koopa revved the engine and started to go forward. As he accelerated, the koopa took out a handgun and began to fire. Thinking quickly, Lemmy jumped into the back of the Koopa King and then suddenly threw himself in front of the kart.

"GO BACK!" he shouted.

Morton did as he was told. He slammed on the gas pedal after putting the kart in reverse. The shady koopa was still speeding forward, desperately trying to hit Morton in time. But after the shady koopa missed five times, he frowned and immediately screeched to a halt. It was too late. The moment the pale-skinned koopa went in reverse, the Koopa King slammed into the flame runner. The shady koopa shouted and went tumbling off his bike, dropping his gun in the process. Lemmy sprinted over to the Koopa King just as Morton stopped. The bike was lying behind the kart, along with the gun. As the shady koopa sat up and shook his head, Lemmy hopped over the kart and grabbed the shady koopa's fallen gun from the ground. The koopaling quickly pointed it at the assailant's face and shot him twice. Lemmy held onto the gun before he walked over to the flame runner and stood the bike back up. He got on the bike and slowly turned around, his back facing Morton.

"Forget it, Lemmy! There's no way we can outrun that chopper, let alone that other one that was chasing us!"

"I never said I planned on outrunning the chopper on this bike."

"Then what are you doing?"

"…This city still has those ramps racers use whenever they wanna do midair stunts, right?"

"Yeah, why? This ain't the time for some Grand Prix!"

Lemmy grinned and revved the engine twice. "Give me a minute. Stay here."

Morton didn't have time to say anything. Lemmy accelerated and quickly drove out the alley. As he anticipated, the chopper was still hovering very low to the ground. The dark koopatrol pointed the machine gun at Lemmy and began to fire again. But this time Lemmy knew what he was doing. The koopaling drove on the right side of the road, his bike zooming along the sidewalk. The koopaling was going so fast that he wound up getting out of the right side of the chopper's firing range. Unfortunately, Lemmy didn't realize that the chopper had two turrets equipped on each side, and he quickly ended up getting in the firing range again on the left side. Lemmy came up to a fork in the road that was right in front of a large skyscraper. There was also a very large ramp on the side of the road pointed in the same direction as the helicopter. Lemmy jerked the bike around so he was facing the chopper, as well as the ramp. Now all he had to do was time this perfectly. Lemmy sat on the bike before he flicked his eyes at the chopper as well as the ramp. The dark koopatrol on the other side of the helicopter was already beginning to shoot at him. Lemmy gunned the bike forward, believing his plan would work.

Lemmy drove as fast as he could and veered to the right so he could get on the ramp. The second the flame runner hit the boost on the ramp, Lemmy jumped off and hid inside his yellowish-orange shell. The turtles inside the chopper thought Lemmy would merely try to jump over the helicopter's blades. But everyone inside the chopper realized too late that he planned on crashing the entire motorcycle into the blades. The pilot tried to veer out the way, but the bike soared through the air at an arc. As gravity began to take place, the flame runner descended right onto the helicopter's rotating blades. Lemmy bounced off the ground a few times just as a loud metallic screeching was heard. The blades tore through the metal with ease, but once the blades reached the body of the bike and the fuel tank, everything became chaos. Morton stuck his head out the alleyway to see what had happened and heard an earsplitting metallic groan. With various whoosh-like sounds, the blades cut the bike apart. Simultaneously, the helicopter blades were getting ruined from trying to cut through something so tough. The fuel ignited and the flame runner exploded right above the chopper, killing one of the dark koopatrols.

The helicopter belched up black smoke from various parts and began to spin out of control. Even the tail rotor was damaged, and fuel was leaking out of the flying vehicle. Morton shouted and backed away, the bright explosion nearly blinding him. Unable to control the chopper, the pilot screamed as the helicopter took a nose dive and slammed right into the street. The chopper landed with a huge thunk and then began to turn and slide on its left side. Morton frowned when he noticed that the chopper was coming right towards him, its main propeller blades (what was left of them anyway) still spinning. The brown koopaling shouted and threw himself back into the alley just when the chopper began to roll around multiple times. Large chunks of debris went flying and what was left of the blades was torn to shreds as it spun along the ground. More fuel was spread along the road, but the helicopter didn't actually explode. After it rolled a few times, it slid along the ground and slammed into a telephone poll, where it came to an abrupt stop. Morton slowly got back up and walked out onto the main street. To his left he could see Lemmy panting as he walked down the street, his body a bit bruised from the fall.

"HOLY (CENSORED)! You just killed a helicopter with your motorcycle!"

Lemmy glanced at Morton and snickered. "I was outta bullets."

"No you weren't. You still got that pistol the shady koopa dropped."

Lemmy looked down at his handgun and blinked. He calmly walked over to the downed chopper leaking fluids everywhere and noticed that one of the dark koopatrols was still alive. His face was all cut up and he seemed to be trapped inside the chopper, unable to get out. Lemmy stood near the wounded turtle and shot him four times. Afterwards, he glanced into the pilot's seat and noticed he was still alive too, albeit barely. Lemmy emptied what was left of the gun's magazine into the pilot's body.

"I'm out now," he muttered.

Lemmy walked over to Morton and looked all around the city. The helicopter was nowhere in sight, there were no vehicles pursuing them down the road, and neither one of them heard the vexatious sound of the motorcycle engines. They seemed to be in the clear for now. However, neither of them said anything out loud, knowing that they could immediately jinx themselves.

"Get back in the kart. Now would be a good time to find a place to rest," said Lemmy.

* * *

The koopalings were outside the city now. They had stopped at a gas station and were currently refueling their kart; the last thing either of them wanted was for their kart to run out of gas in the middle of another gunfight on the road. Lemmy was leaning next to the Koopa King pumping as much gas as he could into the vehicle. Morton on the other hand was busy urinating outside on the wall of the convenience store. Lemmy glanced over at his brother peeing on the wall and sighed heavily.

"Why don't you just use the bathroom in the store?"

Morton scoffed. "Please! You have any idea how disgusting the bathrooms are in these places? I swear it's like people hit everything _except_ the toilet. 'Sides, we're still the bad guys. This is what bad guys do."

"They pee on the wall?"

"No, they break the rules because they know they can and they know no one's gonna do (censored) about it!"

Shortly after Morton said that, the store's clerk had spotted Morton standing next to the wall looking quite relieved. Curious, he stepped outside and found the brown koopa peeing all over the store.

"Hey! What the hell—"

Morton pointed the gun Lemmy had stolen earlier at the Toad with green spots on his head. "Get your ass back in the store!"

The Toad stared at Morton with wide-eyes before slamming the door shut. Morton snickered and lowered the gun before he finished peeing. As the black-shelled koopa walked over to Lemmy again, he started to speak.

"Hehe! You see? Any of those 'heroes' would've apologized or cleaned up the mess or would've just used the store's bathroom in the first place. But me? I just whizzed all over the wall and told the guy to get lost by waving a gun in his face."

"An _empty_ gun, I should add. I used up all the ammo, remember? What if that Toad had some sort of weapon of his own?"

Morton shrugged. "I took a chance and risked it."

"Is there a point to any of this?"

"Yeah. What I'm saying is that we're still the bad guys, Lemmy. We're not like Mario or some other knight in shining armor. We don't have to stop and help some random bystander because her cat's stuck in a tree. We don't have to eat food with our mouths closed or worry about being polite by not belching or farting at the dinner table. We don't have to worry about using the bathroom if it's much more convenient to just piss on some wall or tree. And most importantly, we don't have to feel guilty about killing someone."

"You really think I feel sorry for all the troops I killed back there? I mean…the first time it happened I almost broke down crying. But the only one there to comfort me was Trowzer…and after I found myself nearly hugging him, I lost it. I'm just filled with rage now—and concern for Ludwig."

"That's not what I'm talking about. In stories like these, there may be some situation where the hero has to hurt someone—maybe even kill someone—in order to advance on their mission. With all those heroes like Mario, they won't be able to do it. …But we're still evil, Lemmy. Should we find ourselves in a position where we have to torture someone, maybe even execute them, do not hesitate. If it gets us closer to finding Ludwig and keeping our family safe, that's all that matters."

"…So you're saying that just because we're not as evil as Trowzer, doesn't mean we still can't do evil things."

Morton grinned and chuckled. "That's right."

Lemmy finished filling up the kart and put the nozzle back into the fuel dispenser. "I can live with that."

Morton was about to say something else when he heard a helicopter out in the distance. The sound of its rotor blades was becoming louder and louder; it was getting closer. Lemmy quickly put the gas cap back on the kart and sealed the gas compartment shut. The koopalings hid beneath the gas station as the chopper quickly approached the area. It shined a flashlight on the ground, the occupants eager to find either Morton or Lemmy. The light went right over the station, and neither koopaling was spotted by anyone in the helicopter. Lemmy got into the kart's driver seat and gestured for Morton to hop in the back.

"You think they saw us?"

The helicopter flew right past the gas station and then suddenly stopped. Both koopalings watched the chopper hover over the ground and then slowly turn around. The helicopter descended even closer to the ground before the occupants had a clear view of the gas station. They shined the flashlight across station, as well as Morton and Lemmy's faces.

"Oh, (censored)! GO!"

"Where?! We can't take the main road; there's no traffic or anything to hide behind! We'll be sitting ducks!"

"Uh, uh…" Morton stammered before he looked past the gas station to the right. They were near the woods, and there were very tall trees everywhere.

"Go right! We'll lose 'em in the woods!"

Lemmy started up the kart and drove as fast as he could. As always, the kart was terrible with acceleration, but once the Koopa King was going fast enough, Lemmy steered off the road and drove into the woods.


	45. Run Turtle Junk, part 4

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Part 4. Roy and Wario manage to free themselves from the room they were locked in, only to encounter a new threat; Hooktail offers to take the Yoshi kids to safety whilst Geno and the gang run into hostile forces; Larry and Wendy begin to wonder how the future will turn out just when Mel's gang attacks; Lemmy and Morton use the woods to their advantage as they're pursued by another team of bike riders.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 4)**

The two burly creatures shouted as they threw themselves against the door. Much to their relief, the double-doors were knocked clear off their hinges. Wario had used Roy's body and the back of his shell as a battering ram in a desperate attempt to break the door down. He and Roy fell on the floor, with the former landing right on top of the koopaling's body. Roy snarled and shoved Wario off before he rolled around for a brief moment. When he was lying on his stomach, Roy grunted and slowly got back onto his feet, panting heavily and growling.

"I swear, when I find those (censored) plumbers I'm gonna smash their (censored) faces in!"

Wario cracked his back before he glanced down the hallway and blinked. "You sure Bowser or the other koopalings haven't finished the job?"

"Trowzer told them he was mine! I'm the one who gets the luxury of having my revenge by beating those plumbers till their bones are nothing but dust!"

"But he escaped because he overpowered us."

"NO! No, no—someone, someone did something. They-they were tied to the (censored) wall, Wario! There was no way they could have escaped unless someone weakened the chains or-or they didn't shackle him correctly, or maybe—"

"Some key magically fell from the sky?"

"EXACTLY!"

Wario stared at Roy and blinked. "With how odd this story's becoming, that might be possible!"

Roy snarled. "Forget how they got out. The main point is that we need to find 'em before they screw up Dad's plans!"

As Wario and Roy began to walk forward, they heard muffled gunshots in the distance. The fat man stopped walking and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What was that? A bomb?"

"No, a bomb sounds much louder—"

The duo heard another gunshot and realized that it was louder than before. Wherever the noise was coming from, it was steadily getting closer and closer.

"Hmph. Maybe Mario isn't far off after all; the loser probably got sidetracked looking for his princess again."

Wario snickered. "Good, good! Maybe now—"

The man stopped talking when a third gunshot was heard. It was so loud that it made Roy and Wario flinch slightly.

"Err…maybe we should hide and ambush 'em if they come by."

Although he didn't want to admit it, Roy was fearful of the sudden din too. He nodded and hid behind a Bowser stone pedestal on the left side of the corridor. Wario went over and hide behind a pedestal of equal size on the right side of the hallway. They waited impatiently for Mario or whoever it was to walk past the pedestals so they could attack.

* * *

"Is the door secure?" asked Larry.

The two Hammer Bros. standing near the double-doors checked to see if it was properly locked. They both turned around and nodded at the koopaling.

"It's bolted shut, sir. It's gonna take a bulky bob-omb for Trowzer's men to get in here."

Larry sighed heavily. "Good."

The blue-shelled koopaling walked away from the door and stood in the center of the atrium. To his left were a set of stairs that led to another corridor further down the area. Right in front of him was a door leading down to the prison cell, although now the place was used for storing ammunition. The entire atrium was riddled with troops. Magikoopas were hovering on their broomsticks equipped with wands and powerful spells; Hammer Bros. were naturally armed with their hammers; the koopatrols and koopa troopas were carrying slingshots fitted with stones and chain chomp teeth; there was even a terrapin there leading the group alongside Wendy and Larry. Unlike most terrapins, the leader in the room had his armor upgraded so he was nearly as tough as a terra cotta soldier, and his armor and shell were painted black.

"You sure this is gonna work?"

The terrapin nodded, his metal helmet clunking slightly. "Yes, sir. Even if they get through that door, we have enough men on our side to hold them off for quite some time."

Larry ran his left hand through his hair and sighed as he began to pace back and forth. He was carrying a ray gun in his right hand, ready to shoot to kill if he had to. But at the same time, the koopaling was very nervous; he didn't know how this was gonna turn out. Even if he did succeed in holding back Trowzer's army, he was fighting his uncle's men. Larry would be lying if he said he had no feelings for Trowzer. Wendy glanced to her right and saw Larry walking back and forth, breathing heavily and muttering to himself.

"Are you okay?"

"That's a stupid (censored) question to be asking right now, dont'cha think?!"

Wendy scoffed and turned away. "Fine, forget it."

Larry shut his eyes and started to press his fingers against his forehead. "I'm just…what are we gonna do?"

"Don't talk like that, Larry. We're gonna be fine—"

"No, not _this_. I mean us, Wendy. This family, this army Dad made. What are we gonna do after we get rid of Trowzer?"

Wendy shrugged. "Get back to what we were doing before: hunting down Mario and taking over Mushroom Kingdom."

"What for?! No one's forcing us to take over the world; no one's forcing us to go after Mario; no one's forcing us to kidnap Princess Peach. Do you ever ask yourself _why_ we keep taking all these risks and doing the same (censored) over and over again? We even found out that Mario isn't the one who killed Iggy; what reason do we have to go after him now?"

"It's a formula, Larry. You should be used to how Dad's schemes work by now, especially now that we're all adults. He kidnaps the princess; Mario goes out to save her; we're here to stop him from succeeding. That's it."

"But don't you ever just want to live in peace?"

Wendy's eyes grew wide. She turned and stared at Larry with disbelief. "…Oh my God, you're serious."

Larry sighed. "Iggy died because of what we've been doing. For all I know Ludwig's dead too, and we have no idea where Lemmy or Morton is. I just…I'm scared for this family, Wendy. I don't want to see another brother end up in the grave…or sister."

Larry sat down on one of the steps leading up to the second walkway in the atrium and shook his head. Wendy blinked and walked over to Larry so she could sit down beside him. She didn't really know what to say at first and still found the situation to be a bit awkward. But after fidgeting around with the wand in her hand, she finally found the right words.

"Larry…"

The blue-shelled koopaling turned to face his sister. But just as she was about to continue, an earth-shattering explosion knocked them both to the floor. At least half of the turtles in the room were knocked backwards by the tremendous bomb that exploded on the other side of the doors. The metal double-doors with Bowser's mug on it were blown clean off its hinges, killing a couple of Hammer Bros. in the process. Larry was stunned for a couple of seconds, but eventually managed to open his eyes. His vision blurry, the koopaling groaned and slowly tried to get to his feet. When he turned and looked to his left, he could see a menacing figure with red eyes gradually walking towards him. The figure took out a handgun and pointed it at Larry. Had it not been for the terrapin grabbing Larry and pulling him out the way, Mel would've shot the koopaling in the face. The terrapin stood Larry up and handed him his weapons; Larry shook his head, and his vision was clear again. Dozens of troops were walking into the atrium now that the barricaded door had been destroyed. Despite the strong appearance Larry and Wendy's team showed, they were not prepared to deal with Mel's troops.

The second after the doors were blown open Mel walked into the atrium and tried to kill Larry. After he missed, he immediately targeted the magikoopas on broomsticks. He shot two in the face before hiding in his shell to minimize the damage from one yellow magikoopa's attack. Harry jumped over Mel and shot the yellow magikoopa in the chest. He screamed as he fell off his broomstick and plunged into the darkness; the walkways in the atrium were built hundreds of feet off the bottom floor. Now that Mel had his reinforcements, his team could take out Bowser's forces with ease. Several shady koopas sprinted into battle, showing no fear as they started firing from their assault rifles. A few Boomerang Bros. hid in their shells to reflect the bullets, but none of their shells were strong enough to defend them. The smart-mouthed shady koopa Bradley was pulling his weight, unlike Shannon. He threw his knife at a red magikoopa and hit the wizard in the chest. As he fell to his knees, Bradley equipped his shotgun and pointed it at another magikoopa hiding behind a tipped over metal table. The white magikoopa got hit in the foot; he shouted and stood up, swearing and trying to find another hiding spot. But Bradley simply cocked his shotgun and shot him in the back twice.

The shady koopa grunted when something fiery hit him in the abdomen. Bradley groaned and wrapped his arms around his stomach before he saw Larry up ahead. The koopaling was wielding his ray gun in one hand and his trusty wand in another. Larry lifted his ray gun and aimed for Bradley; the shady koopa shouted and dove out the way. The dark koopatrol standing behind Bradley, however, got hit in the face. Larry and Wendy worked as a team, firing rings or blue fireballs from their wands. Wendy shouted and waved her wand three times, causing three giant gold rings to appear. Some of Mel's troops were hit in the face and knocked down while others managed to avoid the giant obstacles. Unfortunately, the troops who were knocked down the first time failed to notice that the rings ricocheted off the walls. Four of them were clocked in the skulls again; they succumbed to shock and blunt force trauma. Larry on the other hand was using an interesting technique. The koopaling was waving a fireball at one of Mel's troops and then firing a single shot from his ray gun. Larry targeted a shotgun-wielding dark koopa standing beside Green; he waved his wand and launched a blue fireball at him, knocking him down. Before the dark koopa could get back up, Larry fired a laser bullet into his chest, killing him.

"Larry?!"

Larry looked over at Green, panting. For a brief moment everything just stopped. The koopalings and Koopa Bros. weren't the best of friends, but they knew each other and used to be on the same side. Even though Green was still overwrought about Steve, it wasn't Larry's fault. It wasn't any of the koopalings' faults. They both hesitated and just stared at each other, not knowing what to do. One of Mel's troops got a stone cracked against his jaw and Green didn't even seem fazed by it. Green opened his mouth to say something, but he was immediately silenced when someone shot a chain chomp tooth at him. The ninjakoopa shouted and fell to the floor; he quickly took cover behind a metal table. The terrapin in black tackled Larry to the floor just moments before someone carrying an assault rifle tried to blast his head apart. Green swore out loud and ran a hand across his right cheek; he could feel blood. Bradley waited for five teeth to zip across the atrium before he shouted and rolled over towards Green.

"Where ya hit at?!"

Green didn't answer. He just inhaled sharply and removed his hand. The shady koopa looked at the wound on his face and sighed.

"Relax. The tooth just grazed your cheek; you're gonna be fine."

Green still felt uncomfortable, given that the tooth could've penetrated his skull, or God forbid his eye just a moment ago. The fighting continued for another few minutes when Larry began to notice the two Yoshi brothers Harry and Barry gruesomely tearing through his troops. The red Yoshi hopped over a dead dark koopatrol's shell before taking out his dual handguns and shooting two koopatrols in the face. He used one of the dead Boomerang Bros.' shells to his advantage; he kicked it against a regular magikoopa's head. The magikoopa shouted and dropped his wand before Harry shot the magician four times in the abdomen. One Hammer Bro. tried to crack Harry's skull with his hammer, but the dinosaur was too fast. He ducked and weaved to the left and right before tripping over his own feet when someone shot a stone at his leg. The Hammer Bro. rushed over to Harry and tried to smash his skull, but Harry pointed his gun at the Hammer Bro.'s chin and fired. Harry quickly rolled out the way when the turtle's body began to fall and quickly hid behind a tipped-over table.

Meanwhile, Barry was fighting the black-shelled terrapin. He was swinging his two knives at the turtle in an attempt to penetrate his armor. The Yoshi was eager to shove one of his blades deep into the terrapin's eye. But everytime Barry even got close to wounding the terrapin, he'd evade the Yoshi's knife and the blade would scrape across his armor or shell. The terrapin fought back by punching Barry a couple of times and kicking him in the stomach. Barry quickly recovered and swiped his knife at the terrapin's torso; he jumped backwards and wasn't damaged. Barry was about to continue his assault when a Hammer Bro. tossed his hammer at him. The Yoshi ducked before he spotted the Hammer Bro. sprinting towards him. Barry lifted both knives and plunged the blades deep into his throat. The Hammer Bro. let out a choking gurgled noise as blood gushed out of his neck; Barry removed the knives and watched as the koopa fell to the floor. A green magikoopa waved his wand and fired at Barry, hitting the blue Yoshi and knocking him down. Barry coughed a few times before he sat up and threw one of his knives at the green magikoopa.

The magikoopa fell to the floor screaming hysterically; the knife hit him in his right eye. Barry walked over to the fallen magikoopa before he took his other knife and plunged it into the magikoopa's other eye. He stopped screaming so horribly, and his body slowly stopped moving. Barry grinned and removed both knives just when a stone cracked against his head. Barry shouted as his body fell to the floor. The blue Yoshi swore and held his mouth in pain before he quickly found some cover to hide behind.

"Barry!"

Harry came out of hiding and started firing again. He shot the koopa troopa who hit his brother with the stone before whacking his left handgun across another koopa troopa's nose. She didn't even have time to shout before Harry shot her in the face. The red Yoshi took cover beside his brother before he looked at the wound on his face. Lucky for Barry, the stone struck him on the jaw, and not against his skull. Barry swore again before he rolled his tongue around in his mouth; one of his teeth was loose. Harry emerged from his cover and fired off a few more shots from his handguns. He hit the terrapin twice, but the bullets simply bounced off his helmet. The terrapin shouted and held his head when the helmet vibrated and filled his ears with an earsplitting noise. While the terrapin was temporarily stunned, Larry and Wendy were still attacking their foes. Larry was almost out of ray gun bullets and was using his wand much more. Wendy had picked up one of the guns Mel's troops had been holding, but it wouldn't fire (in large part because it was empty). Larry shouted and hid in his shell when a dark koopatrol carrying an assault rifle began to fire in his direction.

Wendy waved her wand and hit the dark koopatrol in the head with a ring. As he fell down, Larry came out his shell and fired at him with his ray gun. Larry subconsciously took a look around the atrium and frowned. Amidst all the chaos, he failed to notice that more of Trowzer's troops were storming into the area. He also failed to notice that there were only a third of his forces left, and the numbers were getting smaller by the second. A yellow magikoopa was shot in the face with a submachine gun; two Fire Bros. had their faces blown away with shotguns; a female koopa troopa had her throat slashed; a young and recently promoted koopatrol was being brutally stabbed over and over by Mel; it didn't stop. Larry slowly began to back away, panting heavily. He wasn't gonna win this battle; there was no reason why the rest of these soldiers should die.

"Fall back!" he shouted.

Larry and Wendy began to back up and walk up the large stairs behind them. The terrapin (who was beating a shady koopa to death with his fists) heard Larry and quickly followed him. Larry and Wendy started to fire at Trowzer's troops erratically; they launched more blue fireballs or rings at their enemies in an attempt to hold them back. But Mel could see that the koopalings and the troops were trying to retreat. He stared at the koopaling with blue hair, his red eyes seemingly becoming brighter. But the dark koopatrol's face didn't even twitch; the evil koopa wasn't even grinning.

"The enemy's retreating! Take 'em out while you still can!" he hollered.

Larry fired the last bullet from his ray gun and tried to take out Mel, but he missed. Larry squeezed the trigger twice and heard the gun click loudly; he tossed the gun aside as he and Wendy reached the top floor. Unfortunately, all of Trowzer's troops had their eyes set on him, Wendy, and the terrapin.

"Oh, (censored). Retreat! RETREAT!"

The battle was lost. All they could do now was flee and regroup in a safer place. All of Trowzer's troops took out their guns and began to fire like crazy. Larry and Wendy had to duck and hide in their shells multiple times as hundreds of bullets were fired their way. Wendy stopped momentarily when someone's blood splattered all over her face. She glanced down at the deceased gray magikoopa. A female koopatrol grabbed her hand and snapped her back into reality before a bullet struck her in the head. Meanwhile, Larry was falling behind. He was hiding in his shell so much that he couldn't move very far. After hiding in his spiky blue shell for the sixth time, he came out and noticed that most of the group was already out the atrium. Larry swore and stood back up. He sprinted as hard as he could towards the door, ducking and rolling along the floor whenever he heard gunshots. Two koopa troopas were behind him, but he wasn't concerned about their lives. Larry opened up a rusty metal door and entered a dark corridor. Unbeknown to the koopaling, one of the two koopa troopas wasn't far behind; the other got caught in the crossfire and had died.

Larry took a sharp left and saw an unlocked door with a small bulletproof window panel in the middle of it. Panting nonstop, Larry opened up the door and headed inside the room on the other side of it. It was right after he entered the room that the other koopa troopa showed up.

"Wait! Larry, wait!"

Larry looked down the corridor and could see the female koopa troopa sprinting towards the door. He was about to let her inside when he spotted Barry coming up behind her holding a shotgun. Acting on instinct and fear for his life, Larry slammed the door in the female koopa troopa's face and locked it. The female koopa troopa gasped and stared at Larry through the panel as he slowly began to back away. Barry cocked his shotgun, causing the turtle to turn around. The last thing she ever saw was Barry's demented grin and the barrel of the shotgun. Larry gasped and turned away when Barry fired at her head. The panel was instantly covered in brain fragments and crimson. Larry backed away from the door, breathing heavily and trying not to gag. Barry grabbed the door's handle and tried to open up the door but couldn't. He growled and shot at the door three times; Larry flinched when he heard the rounds bursting against the metal.

"(Censored)! They locked themselves in some fortified room!"

Mel had reached Barry and was starting to talk as well. "Don't worry about it. We'll blow down this door like we did the last one. If it doesn't work we'll find another way around."

"Okay, sir. You! Go get the bob-ombs!"

Larry turned around and started to walk away, trying to stay calm. But the koopaling found himself whimpering and gagging multiple times. He let that koopa troopa die and just watched as Barry blew her brains out, clearly more concerned about his life instead of hers.

* * *

Hooktail sighed heavily as she continued to walk through the jungle with all the Yoshi kids.

"You sound bored, Hooktail. Something wrong?" asked Kooper.

"I'm a dragon! I breathe fire, I fly, I crush small creatures like you beneath my feet—"

"Is there a point to this?"

"Yes, turtle. I'm the most valued asset in this group and none of you are putting any of my skills to use!"

"Then what do you suggest we do?" asked Eddard.

"Jump on my back and I'll fly all of you to this village you mentioned. We'll save a lot of time and minimize the risk."

"But I don't wanna ride the evil dragon!" said a young blue Yoshi.

"She's not evil; she's just an annoying…female dog," said Kooper, trying to watch his language.

Hooktail glared at the blue-shelled koopa and growled in her throat. "I assure you, this turtle here has a better chance of being eaten by me than you little nuisances."

"What is…nu-ance?" asked Ferore.

Eddard stopped walking and sighed. "It doesn't matter. If we agree to do this, you promise not to put me in your disgusting mouth again?"

"Hmph! Not everything we dragons eat is good for us or tastes scrumptious! The only thing worse than eating you dinosaurs would be eating crickets!"

Just the mere mention of the insect made Hooktail's stomach churn. She closed her eyes and groaned as her stomach bubbled audibly. Eddard shrugged.

"Fine then. Everyone climb on the dragon's back! We're going for a ride!"

"But, Eddard! What if the dragon tries to eat the rest of us?!" whined the blue Yoshi again.

Hooktail snorted. "Either get on my back now or I'll roast you all alive with my fire breath."

Needless to say, it didn't take long for Eddard and the rest of the kids to climb onto the red dragon's back. The red dragon started to flap her wings and gradually began to ascend.

"I'll be back shortly!"

Kooper, Geno and Bosley watched as the dragon took to the skies, carrying all the adolescent Yoshis with her. The blue-shelled koopa sighed heavily and shook his head.

"Ten bucks says she…"

Before Kooper could finish, he looked up ahead and noticed a few lights erratically moving along the trees and the ground. The heroes stared at the lights curiously before they heard someone's radio emit static. There was a sudden pause, and then someone started to talk.

"No, sir, we haven't found the intruders yet."

The heroes immediately hid in the bushes; whoever it was wasn't friendly. Although it was dark, Bosley could partially see that the being up ahead was carrying some kind of weapon and flashlight.

"HIDE!"

The heroes quickly threw themselves into a massive bush nearby and waited. They tried to breathe as softly as possible and made sure not to touch any leaves or step on any branches. Bosley slowly stuck his head outside the bush and looked to his left. The figures were getting closer to the group. He hid again and breathed quietly as the figures started to get closer and closer. The trio could hear their footsteps now, and a couple of them were murmuring to themselves. Geno saw one of the white lights appear and gradually move along the dirt and grass. All the beings were using a flashlight. Bosley slowly inched backwards when the light briefly shined on the bush. Kooper spread apart a few leaves and could see that a team of five shady koopas with green bandannas on their heads were approaching.

"Hey, check out these footprints. You think some of the Yoshis escaped?"

The trio heard another set of footprints, and a second koopa stood next to the bush. He shined his flashlight against the ground and examined the set of footprints scattered across the dirt.

"Couldn't be. Look over there; those are dragon footprints. Dracolin was probably relocating the children to another area."

"That doesn't explain some of these bigger footprints over here. See, look: back there are dragon footprints, up at the front are small footprints, but there are bigger footprints scattered in the mix. Was Dracolin guarding his group of children alone?"

"As far as I know. It's probably nothing though; some of Marcus' men could've stayed with him without reporting in."

"Let's search this area anyway, just in case."

"Good idea."

Kooper swore under his breath. He was hoping the troops would be stupid enough not to pay attention to the prints. He, Geno and Bosley quickly backed away when someone shined their flashlight on the bush again. They could hear more footsteps getting louder and louder; the other three troops were coming. No one said a thing and remained as still as possible. A small insect started to crawl on Bosley's nose, but he ignored it to his best ability. He didn't even sniffle, knowing the small snort could give away their position. The five shady koopas circled the area, eager to find another set of footprints. But the trail stopped near the bush Geno and the others were hiding in. The leader of the five shady koopas stepped next to the bush and pointed his flashlight at the leaves, blinking a few times. He stuck the muzzle of his assault rifle into the bush, hoping to poke whatever it was that was hiding. Bosley started to breathe faster and scooted backwards; the gun was pointed right at him.

"Boss! We'll worry about this later; Marcus just radioed me and said those rebels are hitting another group by the river and need support!"

The leader huffed. "They can't handle the situation themselves?"

"Apparently not."

"Fine. We'll come back here later. Let's go!"

The leader was so fixated on looking inside the bush for hostiles that he failed to notice what was sticking _out_ the bush. Kooper's tail was resting against the ground partially covered by the dirt. Unfortunately, as the leader began to walk away, he accidentally stepped on it. Kooper shouted in pain before he covered his mouth with both hands and swore. The leader immediately turned and faced the bush. Kooper quickly concealed his tail, but not before the shady koopa saw it.

"I (censored) knew it. Get your ass outta that bush right now!" he barked.

It was too late to hide any longer. The heroes were gonna have to fight back in order to get past the shady koopas. The leader approached the bush very quickly, shining his flashlight and assault rifle at the bush, hoping whoever or whatever was concealed would come out. Panting heavily, the leader stood directly in front of the bush and stuck the muzzle inside again. Figuring it was best to shoot first and ask question later, the leader started to squeeze the trigger. That's when Bosley shouted and threw himself at the leader's body. He grabbed his assault rifle and quickly pointed it up in the air. The leader instinctively fired off a few rounds into the sky and alerted the other four shady koopas. They pointed their flashlights at the leader and noticed he was in trouble and currently fighting off one of the Yoshis. One of them tried to take out the dinosaur and inadvertently fired off a few rounds into their leader's back. The leader shouted and slowly fell to the ground; Bosley snatched the assault rifle away from his dead hands and ran behind a tree.

"OVER THERE!"

Two of the four shady koopas ran for the tree, still firing their assault rifles at the bark. Bosley waited until the firing stopped before he peeked around the corner and shot a few rounds at the assailants. One of the two shouted and went down once he was riddled with bullets; the other rolled along the dirt and hid in his shell briefly, dropping his gun in the process. When he emerged from his hiding spot, he grunted when Geno blasted him in the face with stars from his star gun weapon. Kooper sprinted towards the assault rifle the shady koopa dropped and snatched it off the ground before the enemy could. Not exactly a pro on firing the weapon, Kooper grunted as he bashed the gun against the shady koopa's head repeatedly. He stopped and screamed when the remaining shady koopas started to shoot at him as well. Geno lifted his elbow and fired large bullets from it, hitting one of the two koopas in the skull and breaking his jaw. The other shady koopa was gunned down by Bosley when he emerged from his hiding spot. Kooper, still hyperventilating, grabbed the assault rifle he stole and rushed over to the shady koopa with a broken jaw. He shouted and began to bash him across the skull with the weapon as well, whacking the butt of the rifle on his head until he stopped moving.

"I think that's enough, Kooper," said Geno.

Kooper looked up at the sentient doll and tossed the rifle aside. "Is everyone okay?"

Bosley approached Kooper and Geno and started to catch his breath. "Yeah, we're fine."

"Good. We better get outta here fast; if there's another patrol nearby they would've heard the shots," said Geno.

"How many of these guys have weapons like this, Bosley?" asked Kooper.

"Probably all of 'em. Don't you know how to use a gun?"

"No, Bosley. I wasn't aware that a Super Mario character should automatically know how to use a weapon that isn't part of the Super Mario universe."

Bosley sighed. "All right, pick up the rifle; I'm gonna give you a ten-second lesson. You see that small thing there near the bottom of the gun?"

Kooper raised the assault rifle and grunted, surprised at how heavy it was. "What small thing?"

"That small thing there that's under that thing there in the half-circle thingy."

"This isn't _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_! Just show me what the hell it is!"

Bosley sighed and rolled his eyes. He lifted the rifle he stole from one of the dead shady koopas and put his index finger against the trigger.

"You see where my finger is? It's on what's called the trigger. When you squeeze down on it or 'pull' it as some people say, you'll fire off a round."

Bosley squeezed the trigger once and shot at a tree a couple of feet away from the trio. The bullet shredded through one of the branches and sent chunks of wood flying.

"You see? A single shot, depending on where it's fired at, can kill someone. You aim for the bad guys and make sure you don't miss. Now you see this button here?"

Kooper nodded. "What about it?"

Bosley pushed the button and the magazine suddenly fell to the ground. "That rectangular thing that just fell from this gun is called a magazine. When your gun's outta bullets, you won't be able to fire because your magazine's empty. If that happens, you need to reload; you gotta find a magazine that's full and put it back in this slot right here so your gun will have more bullets in it. That way, you'll be able to shoot again."

"…That's it?"

"I said a ten-second lesson. We don't have time to go over all the basics and mechanisms. Hey, uh, Geno was it? You know how to use these things?"

The doll nodded. "I'll be fine. I can shoot stars and bullets out of my body anyways; I'm sure handling a firearm won't be too difficult."

Bosley nodded just when he heard something flapping its wings up above. He gasped and saw a huge shadow appear on the ground. Thankfully for them, it was only Hooktail. Everyone backed away and watched as the red dragon landed on the ground. But much to their surprise, Eddard was still sitting on her back. He jumped off the dragon's scales and landed not far from the heroes.

"What the hell are you still doing here kid?! I thought you said—"

"The dragon here was the one who wanted to take the kids to safety, not me. And I'm not a kid! That's the only reason why I came back. I'm old enough; I could help you guys out in dealing with this invasion."

"You're gonna get yourself killed, Eddard. You need to go back with the kids and stay with them."

"There were other Yoshis in the village; they can look after the kids. 'Sides, some of them told us that there's a band of rebels who have been captured by Trowzer's men. I know how Trowzer's army works; they're gonna get tired of the rebels and execute 'em one by one," said Hooktail.

Geno sighed. "Having kids in our team—"

"I am not a kid!"

Bosley butted in. "Ned, we just want you to be safe. We don't want you to get killed and we don't want you to have to bear the pain of killing someone. That sticks with you for the rest of your life."

"Bosley, you already know my dad left us shortly after I hatched from my egg. And as far as I know my mom is either dead or captured; there's a chance I won't leave anyone behind if I die. …And I won't kill anyone. I'll just…distract them for you. I'll lead the bad guys away from the hostages and then you guys can slip in and rescue them."

"Are we done talking?" asked Hooktail, slowly growing bored and impatient.

"How do we know they just won't kill you?" asked Kooper.

"They need the children—and teenagers, like me—as leverage. Maybe they're gonna use us to get the rebels to surrender. The point is, if they do catch me, they'll just put me in some cage or cell and watch over me; there's no reason why none of you guys won't be able to rescue me again."

"Are we done talking?!" asked Hooktail, more forcefully.

"Hooktail's right; if a patrol heard those gunshots, they'll be here any second," said Geno.

Bosley scoffed and looked around the forest. Maybe his ears were playing tricks on him, but he could've sworn he heard footsteps in the distance.

"You're right. We don't have time to argue about this now; do you know where the hostages are, dragon?"

The red dragon snorted. "My name is Hooktail, dinosaur. And I'm sure one of you Yoshis can guide me there."

"Fine. Everyone get the weapons and get on the dragon. We're leaving."

Kooper, Geno and Bosley took as many weapons as they could before they climbed onto Hooktail's back. Although Eddard was eager to carry a handgun, he remembered what Bosley said about killing others and decided against it. Hooktail began to flap her wings and started to take flight. By the time another squadron showed up and found the dead bodies, Hooktail and the other heroes were already gone.

* * *

Driving through the woods was equally good and bad for the koopalings. On one hand the trees protected them from any incoming fire from the chopper. On the other hand, they were speeding through the deadly terrain and could easily crash into a tree or large boulder at any second. And on top of that, Lemmy was sure that more bike riders had found them. Morton turned around and noticed headlights approaching their position. Like always, the annoying roar of the bikes' engines was the first thing the koopalings heard.

"How many are on our tail?!" shouted Lemmy.

Morton ducked before a couple of tree branches whacked him in the face and turned back around. He could see three sets of headlights steadily getting closer to the Koopa King kart.

"At least three! How are we supposed to take 'em out? There aren't any item blocks nearby!"

Lemmy had been asking himself the same question ever since he entered the woods. They had no guns and no items they could throw at the bike riders. And there weren't any cars around here, so they couldn't even hope that one of them would be careless enough to drive into oncoming traffic. However, when Lemmy nearby crashed into a massive oak tree, he found himself smirking a bit. They didn't need items at all; the dangerous terrain could be their weapon.

"Hold on tight. I got an idea!"

"Why do I need—WHOA!"

Morton clutched the handlebar in the backseat as tightly as he could. Lemmy started to steer the Koopa King left and right in a crazy zigzag formation. Morton could feel the vibrations soaring through his body as the kart drove through the wood, rocks and whatever heavy obstacle was on the ground. Lemmy saw a small log up ahead and drove on top of it, crushing the rotten wood with the kart's giant tires. Morton turned around to get a good look at the dark koopas pursing them on bikes. They weren't having trouble weaving their way through trees, but avoid obstacles karts like the Koopa King could easily crush was a big challenge. One bike rider was only a couple of yards away from the Koopa King and was gradually getting closer and closer to the vehicle. Lemmy drove right over a ditch and failed to notice it was even there. The bike rider, unfortunately, did not see it. He drove right into the ditch, bouncing his way out not a moment later. The ditch was very deep, and the sudden bump caused the driver to momentarily lose control of his bike. He accidentally wound up driving his bike into a very heavy log.

The other two bike riders could see that the driver had crashed his bike, although he wasn't dead. Not bothering to go back and get him, the other two riders continued their pursuit. Lemmy swerved the kart into a shallow stream and began to drive in the water. He and Morton looked up at the sky and could see that the chopper was still chasing after them. Frustrated, Lemmy swerved to the left and entered another section of the woods. Much to his disappointment, a lot of the trees in the area had been cut down; the bike riders would be able to see them clearly. In fact, when Morton turned around, he could already see that both bike riders were quickly gaining on them. The driver of one bike aimed his handgun at the Koopa King and started to fire. Nevertheless, Lemmy knew that a moving target was much harder to hit than one staying in the same spot. He started to weave through the woods again; even though the koopalings were exposed, at least Lemmy didn't have to worry about crashing into a tree either. Morton heard a couple of gunshots and saw the bullets whiz past the kart. Luckily, the bullets only hit the trees or ground; the other bike rider was saving his ammo, waiting until he could get a clean shot off at the koopalings.

Lemmy heard a bike rider rev his engines loudly and glanced over at an adjacent hill. A bike soared off the top of the hill before landing on the ground not far away from where the Koopa King was. Morton yelped and ducked when he noticed that there were two riders on the black and purple Mach bike. Lemmy glanced over his shoulder and started to weave to the left and right again. The passenger of the Mach bike lifted his submachine gun and started to shoot at the koopalings. He growled and moved his hand left and right, trying to hit the Koopa King at least once; he knew a stray bullet had to graze the tires, or at the very least one of the koopalings. Morton swore and hid in his shell when two bullets nicked his shell. He quickly emerged and clutched the handlebar before he fell off from all the vibrations.

"Is that bike still behind us?!" asked Lemmy.

"Yeah! Why?!"

Lemmy could see a large tree coming up. Instead of driving around it, he drove straight ahead and took his foot off the gas pedal.

"What the hell are you doing?! Those bike riders are gonna be on our asses at any moment!"

"I know."

When Lemmy was close enough to the tree, that's when he put his plan into action. The koopaling slammed his foot down on the brake pedal, and the kart came to a screeching halt. The passenger of the bike had just reloaded his weapon when the kart stopped. The driver, not expecting Lemmy's sudden move, drove straight into the kart's bumper. Both passengers went flying and hit the tree that was two feet away from the kart. The driver was smart enough to hide in his shell to minimize the damage. But the passenger was too surprised and didn't react quickly enough. He slammed into the tree head first; a disturbing squishy crunch filled Lemmy and Morton's ears. The passenger had broken his neck and fractured his skull. The driver came out his shell and groaned before he slowly got to his feet. Lemmy put the kart in reverse and waited until the dark koopa was fully on his feet. Then he gunned the kart forward and pinned the unfortunate turtle against the tree bark. He screamed as Lemmy crushed him with his kart, smashing his shell and several bones in his body. Blood spewed from the dark koopa's mouth and got all over the front of the kart. Lemmy waited for a second to see if the dark koopa would move. After he was satisfied that the turtle was dead, he backed up again and let the limp corpse slide off the kart.

"…Damn. Good job, Lemmy!"

Morton thought his smaller brother was about to continue speeding through the woods, but instead he jumped out the kart and searched the dead koopas' bodies. He picked up one of the black handguns before moving his hands around the dirt and sifting through the fallen leaves.

"We can't keep this up forever; we need guns. Here, you take this."

Morton grabbed the black handgun after Lemmy tossed it his way. The brown koopaling stared at the deadly firearm and grinned as he twirled it a bit.

"Don't go off wasting your ammo like you did earlier! I only see three guns here; we gotta make ammo last at least until we find some item boxes," said Lemmy.

"Fine, whatever. So what are these things: mini-ray guns or something?"

"No, but they fire—"

Before Lemmy could finish, the koopalings heard the infamous roar of the motorcycle engines speeding their way. The two bikes that had passed them earlier had turned around and were coming back. Lemmy held up the submachine gun he stole to the approaching headlights, panting.

"It's just like a ray gun, Morton! Just point it—"

Morton understood. Shouting for no reason, he aimed his handgun at one of the bike riders and shot several rounds at the driver. Lemmy waited until the other bike rider got close enough before he shot at the driver a few times. Both bikes eventually slowed down and tumbled along the ground; the riders had been killed, and their bikes went out of control and crashed.

"Hehehe, I'm starting to like these gun thingies!" said Morton.

"Good. Now if you do what you just did right now, we won't have any issues in the long-run."

"Whatever you say, bro."

"Get in the driver's seat. Since I'm handling this bigger gun, it'd be best if I stay in the back and pick off the pursuers."

"Or you could just give me the gun and we'll call it a day!"

Lemmy stared at Morton with a stern scowl on his face. At first Morton was smirking, thinking that Lemmy would break out into a fit of chuckling. But his smirk soon turned into a frown, and he obeyed his brother's orders. Lemmy hopped into the backseat and passed the spare handgun over to Morton. The brown-skinned koopaling backed away from the dead bodies and the wrecked motorcycles and quickly drove away from the scene before any other bike riders showed up. Lemmy turned around constantly, checking over and over again to make sure that no one was following them. But after driving for a full five minutes, all Lemmy could hear were the noises coming from the Koopa King and everything the kart was crushing beneath its tires. Lemmy couldn't even hear the chopper, which was the one vehicle that had been following them since they were in the city. Lemmy looked forward and grabbed the handlebar with both hands. Morton drove out of the woods and off a small hill; the kart bounced against the ground a few times when it landed. The brothers were finally on the main road again and seemed to be in the clear. The road they were on was built on a mountain. They were far away from the city now, and hopefully the helicopter.

"You think we lost 'em?" asked Morton.

Lemmy shook his head. "We couldn't have. The helicopter was on us the entire time until we took out those bikes. Maybe they dropped more troops on the ground or deployed more vehicles or something."

"…Do you hear that?"

Lemmy was about to respond when his eyes grew wide. He could hear the sound of the chopper's blades spinning very faintly. The chopper had flown ahead and had disappeared along the side of the mountain, beneath Lemmy and Morton's field of vision. Shortly after Morton asked if he heard something, the helicopter ascended from below and showed up just beyond the crash barrier on the right side of the road. The koopalings stared at the helicopter just moments before it turned sideways, with the machine gun pointed at the Koopa King.

"Goddamnit—get us out of here, Morton!"

The brown koopaling turned the kart left and began to speed down the road with the chopper following them closely. They were never gonna get anywhere unless they shot down the chopper. And Lemmy was slowly running out of bright ideas.


	46. Run Turtle Junk, part 5

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** The epic highway chase finally comes to an end, Hooktail and company try to rescue the Yoshi hostages, Roy and Wario run into some of Trowzer's forces, and Trowzer and his team encounter Tutankoopa and his vicious chain chomps.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 5)**

Bosley spent all of his time guiding Hooktail and the gang over to the position where the other hostages were located at. When Hooktail got close to the victims' location, she descended from the sky and started to walk on the ground; she knew that their cover would be blown if any of the soldiers saw her silhouette on the ground. The four heroes and dragon stealthily walked through the forests, trying their best not to make too much noise and making sure they didn't step on any twigs. But the group managed to arrive to the area the hostages were without causing a ruckus. Everyone crouched down in a field of grass (Hooktail had to lie flat on her stomach, and even then she still couldn't camouflage herself) while Bosley took out the binoculars the team had. He zoomed in on the handful of Yoshis being interrogated by the shady koopas and growled. A majority of them were in a wide-open area full of huts and a few campfires that had been extinguished. They all had their hands tied behind a thick wooden stake that had been lodged in the ground.

"How many guards do you see?" asked Geno.

"About four, maybe five."

Hooktail snorted. "Big deal! Just let me run down there and fry them all with my breath! They already know I'm taking part in the invasion, so no one will raise any alarms or get suspicious."

Kooper shook his head. "We can't take that risk. You might end up killing some of the Yoshis by mistake. 'Sides, someone could be watching that group from a distance away anticipating an ambush. Even if you kill everyone down there, the other team will know and alert everyone."

"Wow. I wasn't aware you turtles were capable of being smart."

Kooper flared his nostrils. "I have my moments."

"What about me? I told you, I could distract them for you, lead them away from the hostages," said Eddard.

"You stay here, Eddard," said Bosley. "And since we've seen this happen a billion times on television, I want you to look after him, Geno. Don't let him wander off, all right?"

"But Bos—"

"No. Just sit tight and wait for us to come back."

Eddard huffed and lied down in the grass beside Geno. Meanwhile, Kooper and Bosley got a little closer to the group of hostages. Bosley could make out some of the hostages' faces, but they still couldn't hear what the shady koopas were saying to them. One of the shady koopas punched a red Yoshi in the face twice before sighing heavily and twirling a gun around with his other hand. He started pointing it at the dinosaurs one by one, grinning and obviously trying to figure out which one he should kill. A green Yoshi grunted softly before he lifted his bruised head and spat something at the shady koopa. Whatever he said must've been offensive, because the shady koopa rushed over to him and put the pistol underneath his chin.

"We gotta do something, Bosley!"

"Not yet."

"They're gonna kill him!"

"I know that! But if we expose ourselves now, we'll be at a disadvantage."

"Uh, hello? Fire breath?" chimed Hooktail.

"Shut up, dragon," said Kooper.

The scaly creature huffed. "Fine. Get them all killed. See if I care."

Kooper and Bosley ignored her and continued to silently crawl their way towards the hostages. The shady koopa said something to the green Yoshi, demanding to know a bit of information. The green dinosaur just coughed up blood before he replied. Kooper and Bosley never found out what he said, but it obviously offended the shady koopa because he wound up pulling the trigger. Everyone froze as the shot rang out, and a fine red mist burst out of the green Yoshi's head.

"NOOO!" shouted Kooper, instinctively.

His shout was heard several yards out. All the shady koopas turned and faced the field of grass he, Bosley and Hooktail were hiding in. The blue dinosaur cover in dried-up dragon dung swore under his breath and looked at Kooper sternly.

"You idiot!" growled Bosley softly.

"Probably some rebels…all right, we know you're nearby! Come out now and we won't kill you!"

Hooktail felt like chastising Kooper and Bosley, but instead she just remained still and sighed heavily, eager to see how this would all pan out. The five shady koopas approached the field of grass, their assault rifles held firmly in their hands. Bosley knew they had no choice. He emerged from the grass and started shooting; he fired at the shady koopa who killed the green Yoshi first, hitting him in the chest a few times and the face. The remaining four shady koopas chased after Bosley, shouting and shooting at him as he threw himself behind a hut. While Bosley was hiding from the stream of bullets, Kooper was running down the grassy hill towards the hostages. His heart racing, the blue-shelled koopa stood behind a red Yoshi and untied the ropes that bound him to the stake. Unfortunately, his rescue didn't go unnoticed. Another shady koopa had turned around and spotted Kooper.

"Hey, we got another one!"

"(Censored)!" shouted Kooper.

The red Yoshi didn't even have time to find a decent weapon before two of the four shady koopas blew him away. As the red Yoshi was drilled with bullets, Kooper ran to his left, firing his assault rifle wildly as he tried to find some decent cover. The koopa hit a shady koopa in the forehead before he threw himself behind a large boulder. Hooktail, frustrated that no one listened to her, emerged from her hiding spot and stomped her way into the firefight. Two of the three koopas saw Hooktail and stopped firing.

"Good thing you showed! We got two rebels…"

The shady koopa frowned when he saw Hooktail lift her head and inhale deeply. Then she lowered her head and opened her mouth wide, expelling a large stream of fire breath at the three koopas. All of them started screaming horribly as they were set on fire. They dropped their guns and began to panic; one of them thought logically and rolled around in the dirt to try and extinguish the flames. The other two just ran around screaming like idiots. Hooktail chased after the fleeing koopas and exhaled more fire breath onto their bodies. Eventually the screaming stopped and the two shady koopas collapsed, never to get up again. The third shady koopa had miraculously put out most of the fire, but the damage had been done. He succumbed to his third-degree burns before he could finish putting out all the flames. Kooper and Bosley came out of their hiding spots while Hooktail huffed again and walked into the center of the area.

"Whew! …Thank you, Hooktail," said Bosley.

"Good thing I didn't set them on fire in the first place," said Hooktail harshly.

Kooper snorted. "We don't need your cynical bull(censored) now, Hooktail. You don't have to bitch just because you were right _this one time_."

"Yeah, I do. If you two had just let me fry those koopas in the first place—and if you hadn't screamed like an idiot—two Yoshis would still be alive."

"That's enough, from both of you," said Geno.

Geno and Eddard had approached the group after they realized the coast was clear. They started to undo the hostages' restraints, while Bosley, Kooper and Hooktail continued to bicker back and forth. All the Yoshis either thanked Geno and Eddard after they were freed or groaned and rubbed their sore wrists.

"You guys okay?" asked Geno.

One of the captives groaned as he rubbed his wrists before nodding. "We're fine, just got a little beat-up, that's all. What's with the dragon? I thought all those reptiles were the ones trying to kill us?"

"Don't worry about her; she's on our side," said Eddard.

The freed Yoshi looked down at Eddard and blinked. "Shouldn't a kid like you be hiding alongside his parents? Or sleeping?"

"I AM NOT—MMPH!"

Geno covered his mouth. "It's a long story. Do you know how many other survivors are on this island?"

The orange Yoshi nodded. "Yeah, there's several, but there are only two groups I know about nearby that we can rescue. We've started a rebellion on this island but some of our leaders were captured early on."

"And you need them alive so the other Yoshis don't lose their morale."

"More or less. I don't suppose the five of you would be willing to help?"

Geno shrugged and took his hand off Eddard's mouth. "I don't see why not. Hey guys!"

The koopa, dragon and Yoshi stopped bickering when they heard the sentient doll call out to them. "What?!"

"There are two more groups nearby that we need to save. If we split up we'll be able to save both teams simultaneously and then regroup later. Kooper, I want you to go with Hooktail. The rest of you can come with me."

Hooktail and Kooper turned their heads and stared at each other, with the former growling deeply in her throat. They turned their heads back around and stared at Geno, blinking.

"Are you (censored) kidding me?!" shouted Kooper.

* * *

Roy and Wario breathed deeply when the door up ahead slowly creaked open. They listened as a series of footsteps began to become louder and louder as time progressed. Roy slowly peeked beyond the corner of the pedestal and saw a few dark koopas walking their way with firearms in their hands. Roy frowned. No one in the small team seemed like a member of Bowser's coalition. And even if they were, what was the need for all the guns? Surely they knew that Mario and his allies escaped by now?

"That's not Mario," whispered Wario."

Roy blinked and glanced at his fat companion. "No (censored). Just stay put; something doesn't seem right here…"

The dark koopas walked closer and closer to Roy and Wario's positions, checking all of the pedestals to see if anyone was hiding behind or against them. One of them sniffed the air and scowled, detecting Roy's foul odor. Another guy took out a radio and started to speak into it as he walked back and forth.

"We haven't seen Roy or Wario yet. Maybe they got out before the attack began. Do you still want us to search for them?"

Roy closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Perhaps they're friends after all, he thought. The koopaling had to admit that their firepower was a bit extreme, but he didn't care so long as they brought them both to safety.

"Are you sure you want us to kill them boss? They don't know about your plans yet; we could still use them in the long-run. At the very least we could spare Wario; I couldn't care less about that other koopaling who hasn't been hygiene-inclined lately."

Roy's heart sank. At the moment he thought the koopas had gone rogue; maybe some faction in Bowser or Trowzer's team had defected. But they were obviously working for someone else, someone eager to take control of the evil king's empire. Gritting his teeth and growling, Roy looked at Wario again and gestured for him to take care of the koopas. The guy on the radio finished confirming his orders and slid his device back into his shell. Wario had heard what the dark koopa said too; he wasn't going to let the team decide on whether or not they should kill him. So the obese man clad in his biker outfit stood in the middle of the hallway and whistled loudly. The dark koopas immediately jerked their heads over to the chubby man and pointed their guns at him.

"Whoa, fellas! Relax…we're on the same side here!"

The dark koopas ignored him and walked closer to him. "Where's Roy?"

Wario snickered and turned around. "To be honest, he's crouching behind this pedestal here cowering in fear!"

Roy growled gutturally as Wario peeked beyond the pedestal and gave away his location. But as Wario and Roy looked at each other, the chubby man winked and grinned. The dark koopas quickly walked forward, failing to notice that Wario was slowly bending over. The man grunted and made two fists before he unleashed his signature Wario Waft move on the dark koopas. Everyone shouted as the yellowish gas hit them with full force, clouding their senses and filling their nostrils with an unpleasant sulfuric odor. They all started to cough violently and waved their hands in front of their noses; the yellow flatulence had covered a large portion of the dank hallway. Wario and Roy struck as the koopas were stunned by Wario's disgusting attack. Roy snarled viciously and grabbed one of the koopas by his face. While he was busy tearing the koopa's face apart, Wario rushed into the gas cloud and punched and kicked two dark koopas in the face. Wario quickly side-stepped one of the koopas and two shots were heard. A dark koopa was accidentally killed; he slouched over and collapsed on the floor. Roy had finished killing the koopa he grabbed and jumped into the air, flipping his body over as he prepared to do a ground pound. A dark koopa looked up and opened his mouth to scream.

He couldn't even let out a tiny squeal before Roy landed right on his body, breaking his neck and fracturing his skull with his large rear end. The gas was beginning to dissipate, but there were only two dark koopas left, both of whom were in a great deal of trouble. While Roy was busy trying to get ahold of one koopa's gun, Wario had grabbed the other one's head and was repeatedly slamming it against the corner of a pedestal. He grunted each time he slammed the head down, which resulted in blood gradually oozing out of his cranium. Meanwhile, Roy's bad hygiene proved to be useful to him. As he tussled with the last dark koopa over the final gun, he opened his mouth and belched loudly in his face. The dark koopa shouted with disgust and backed away as the rotten smell crept into his nostrils. Roy snatched the gun away before he pointed it at the sole survivor and gunned him down. Wario stopped bashing his dark koopa's skull against the pedestal and turned around to see Roy panting and holding the rifle.

"You okay?"

Roy nodded slowly. "Fine. Get one of the guns; we gotta get out of here now."

"Since when do we know how to use guns?"

Roy exhaled and turned around to face Wario. "It's easy. Just imagine that you're a videogame character who finally found a weapon after being able to use nothing but his bare hands to fend off the enemy. It'll automatically come to you."

Wario stared at Roy and raised his eyebrow questionably.

"What?"

* * *

Red and Black were still worried about their brother. They had no idea what condition he was in, they had no idea what those two Yoshi brothers were doing around (or to) him, and they didn't even know if Green was still alive. At this point neither of them even cared about taking over the castle, or even working with Trowzer. They just wanted to stay alive and see this whole thing through. But even if they did make it out of this mess intact, it's not like they'd be able to forget everything they've done or participated in. Even now, Black was tempted to just drop his weapon and retreat, merely because he was ashamed over what was happening.

"You all right?"

Black hadn't even realized that he was looking down at the floor. He jerked his head left and saw a blue-shelled koopatrol standing beside him. It was the same koopatrol that Doopliss had impersonated a while ago while spying on Trowzer.

"Yeah…I'm fine. Just a bit tired, that's all."

Black quickly regrouped with his brother and the small squad of shady koopas walking beside him. Trowzer was still leading his team down the corridors, killing or subduing anyone that got in their way. It wasn't until Trowzer got near another large locked door that he heard a faint squish beneath him. He stopped walking and looked down, lifting his left foot off the floor. Saliva was covered all over the sole.

"What is it, sir? Another hostile in the area?" asked the one-eyed Fire Bro.

Trowzer exhaled. "I don't know; it might be another trap."

"So what do we do?"

Trowzer grinned. "The bear that sees the trap cannot be caught."

Without hesitating or second-guessing his actions, Trowzer stepped in front of the door and shouted as he kicked it open. The double-doors burst open with no effort at all, revealing a large atrium with a dome ceiling made most of glass. Trowzer stepped inside the atrium and gestured for the rest of his team to come in.

"Spread out! Bowser's men will be here shortly; we need to defend ourselves before they spring their trap!"

All of Trowzer's troops quickly took positions around the giant room; some of them lied on their stomachs and pointed their assault rifles at the door up ahead; a few of them stood beside the door with their shotguns ready; Zorblax and some of his putrid piranhas readied themselves near the air vents in case their poison breath came in handy. Everyone was in a different position and scattered throughout the entire hall. There was no way any of Bowser's forces would get through without getting shredded in the process. Even Black and Red were crouching alongside Ilnyash and a few other dark koopatrols, ready for whatever foe they were about to face. Trowzer breathed deeply as he pointed his assault rifle at the door ahead, hoping that Bowser would finally show his ugly mug. Suddenly, something wet dripped onto his head. He brushed the water off his head before two more drops fell onto the back of his neck. He growled with frustration before he moved, crouching beside a column instead. That's when one of the dark koopas heard a low growl and began to look around the room. He didn't realize it until now, but the room seemed to be covered with large black spherical objects.

"…What's with all these spheres? Are they bombs or something?"

A nearby shady koopa shook his head. "Nah, they just shoot out podoboos, remember? Everytime Mario or someone gets near them, they inflate themselves and a ball of fire comes out and chases you."

"But we _are_ near the spheres; they aren't doing anything."

"Huh…that's odd."

The shady koopa and dark koopa slowly moved away from the sphere, not noticing that it opened its left eye and stared at them as they walked. Ilnyash and another koopatrol leaned against a black sphere, completely unaware of what it truly was. The blue-shelled koopatrol saw something dripping onto the floor and casually looked up. Something huge was hanging from ceiling; its chains had been linked together to fuse with the rusty chandeliers dangling around the atrium. Whatever the huge thing was, it was starting to open its mouth, showing off a set of white serrated teeth. Ilnyash slowly moved away from the hanging object and lifted his gun.

"…Guys, get away from the spheres."

"Why?" asked the shady koopa leaning against one. "They're not shooting out podoboos and they're not bob-ombs. Why should we be afraid of them?"

"Because those aren't spheres! They're—"

A dark koopa screamed near the entrance. Everyone jerked their heads around and watched as they heard incessant barking, snarling and screaming. Ilnyash was right; they weren't ordinary spheres. They were chain chomps, and one of them was currently holding a dark koopa in its mouth. It shook its body violently, shaking the koopa all around as its teeth sank into his shell and skin. The dark koopa pointed his gun at the chain chomp and fired a few times, but the bullets didn't faze the monster. Before he could fire again, the chain chomp's powerful jaws shattered the purple shell. The dark koopa howled in pain as the chain chomp started to crush his ribcage and snap his spine.

"What the (censored)?!"

Before the shady koopa standing next to Ilnyash could say anymore, the chain chomp he was leaning beside barked and lunged at him. The shady koopa screamed; it had the shady koopa's head trapped in its mouth. The shady koopa thrashed around for a bit, kicking his legs and trying to pry the mouth open, but it was no use. Ilnyash grimaced when he heard an unpleasant crack and saw the shady koopa's body go limp. Soon enough, all the "black spheres" woke up and began to attack Trowzer and his men. The atrium was filled with incessant chattering and gunfire; everyone was shooting at anything that was spherical and black. Black and Red certainly weren't hesitating this time around; they were perfectly fine with killing these savage beasts. Ilnyash pointed his shotgun at the chain chomp coming towards him, panting and backing up as he fired at it. The chain chomp lunged at him, causing Ilnyash to shout and dive backwards. The koopatrol pointed his shotgun upwards and the chain chomp wound up getting the barrel stuck in its mouth. It growled and barked, saliva dripping from its mouth and getting all over Ilnyash's face. The koopatrol turned his head and fired again; the chain chomp whined as it was blasted away, flipping through the air before landing on the floor with a hard thunk.

Ilnyash quickly got up before another chain chomp lunged at him. He pointed his shotgun at the monster's mouth and fired; the chain chomp howled in pain before it dropped to the floor. Meanwhile, the one-eyed Fire Bro. was having difficulty taking out the chain chomps. He tried pelting and spitting fire balls at them, but they were immune from such attacks. He swore under his breath before he took out his handgun and began to shoot at the dog-like creature while backing away. The bullets just bounced off its body, making a loud ricocheting sound. The Fire Bro. swore again when he found his shell pressed against the wall. He shouted and rolled out the way when the beast threw itself at him. There was a loud smash; the Fire Bro. coughed as a dust cloud formed from the damage the chain chomp inflicted. The chain chomp was rather humorously jammed into the wall; it whined repeatedly as it wiggled its body and tried to free itself. The Fire Bro. was almost tempted to laugh, but another chain chomp snarled and grabbed his leg. The Fire Bro. yelped as he fell on his shell and was slowly dragged by the chain chomp's teeth. Using the last of his bullets, he shot at the chain chomp over and over again until he hit the creature in the eye. It yelped and let go of his leg as blood poured out of the wound.

Trowzer was having his hands full too. He was forced to watch as a koopatrol was hurled into a group of chain chomps, all of which swarmed the young koopatrol and ripped his body to pieces. Even worse, Trowzer couldn't use his fire breath; it was useless. So he ducked and dodged, trying his best to avoid the chain chomps' dreaded teeth. He side-stepped two of them as they threw themselves at his body. Suddenly, he lifted his handgun and shot one in the face. Whether it was skill or just blind luck, he hit the chain chomp in the eye and killed it.

"THE EYES! HIT 'EM IN THE EYES!"

Now everyone knew what to aim for. A shady koopa standing next to Black twirled his handgun before he pointed it at the chain chomp up ahead frothing at the mouth. Shutting one eye, he pointed it at the beast's right eye and fired. Blood gushed out of the wound, and the canid-like animal yelped before slouching over and dying.

"Gotcha!"

What happened next almost made Black soil his shell on the spot. Some of the chain chomps were hanging from the chandeliers also, their chains wrapped against the other set of chains that held up the decorative light fixtures. Someone or something loosened the chains, causing the chain chomps hanging from the chandeliers to drop and land on the floor. But the one hanging above the shady koopa didn't come all the way down to the floor. Instead, it was lowered just far enough to reach the shady koopa's head. Before the pale turtle could even glance up, the chain chomp opened its mouth and bit him by the neck. Black froze. He could only watch as the shady koopa's body convulsed, blood gushing out of the neck wound and dripping from the chain chomp's mouth. There was a disgusting squelch and snap; the chain chomp jerked itself away from the shady koopa who was now missing his head. Black retched and ran away from the headless corpse as it fell to the floor. Elsewhere, Red was breathing heavily and hiding behind a column, waiting for a chain chomp to get close by. He heard deep growling and peeked behind a corner, looking dead in a chain chomp's eyes. It barked twice and tried to bite off Red's head, but he rolled out the way.

Red pointed his assault rifle at the rounded canines and fired a few times, hitting the animal in both of its eyes. As it whined and succumbed to the wounds, another chain chomp tried to kill him from behind. The red ninjakoopa yelped and strafed to the left, causing the beast to chomp on nothing but air. Red moved backwards as he pointed his rifle at the slobbering beast and fired a few more rounds at it. But all his bullets were quickly depleted, and the ninjakoopa heard the infamous and annoying sound of clicking from the empty gun. Just as Red seemed to lose all hope, the one-eyed Fire Bro. appeared from nowhere and pointed a shotgun at the chain chomp. As the dog-like creature lunged forward, it gagged. The Fire Bro. had jammed his shotgun barrel deep within the chain chomp's mouth. The Fire Bro. wasted no time blasting the beast in the mouth, causing it to yelp and fall to the floor with a hard thud as it was blasted backwards. The Fire Bro. dug in his shell and tossed a handgun over to Red. He would've thanked the Fire Bro., but before he could he heard ominous laughter up above. Some of the koopas who weren't being attacked by chain chomps stopped fighting to look up.

A weird disembodied crown with an odd chain chomp icon stuck in the center of it appeared on top of one of the biggest columns. Suddenly, various fragments of someone or something began to materialize from nowhere and float around the floating crown. All the pieces of whatever it was gathered around beneath the crown and came together as one. Some of the troops who defected from Bowser's league could clearly see who their enemy was now.

"Tutankoopa?!"

The evil pharaoh laughed evilly before he lifted his arms into the air. "Yes, my little pets! Come and feast on all the traitors you see before you!"

One of Bowser's troops actually tried to talk to the Egyptian-like koopa, but he was quickly tackled by another chain chomp. He squealed incessantly and thrashed his legs around before the chain chomp clamped its jaws around his head. There was a very unpleasant crack, and the koopa suddenly went silent. Tutankoopa laughed again before he waved his arms around and a weird colorful aura began to appear in the air. Suddenly, the outline of a very large chomp began to materialize in mid-air, right above Trowzer and a few other troops. Some of the troops stopped fighting altogether and just stared at the mass chomp hovering above their leader's head. When the chomp became solid due to Tutankoopa's magical powers, Trowzer realized something was looming. He glanced up and gasped when he saw the black mass hovering above his head. Thinking quickly, he threw himself sideways and got out from beneath the chomp's shadow. Tutankoopa grunted and let his arms fall, and the chomp quickly plummeted to the floor. Some of the troops still standing beneath it looked up and shouted. But their screams were cut short when the massive chomp crushed them to death with a grotesque squish.

Everyone was almost knocked off-balance from the subsequent tremors, and the ceiling began to rumble. Tutankoopa laughed evilly as debris (and the chain chomps still clinging to chandeliers) began to fall from the ceiling. A few koopas were knocked out by the debris while some others were immediately attacked by the falling chain chomps. Even Trowzer got bonked on the head as a large slab of wood landed on him. The oversized koopa was temporarily stunned, but after someone shouted his name, he shook his head and panted heavily. A chain chomp snarled as it threw itself at Trowzer. The spiky blue-shelled behemoth snatched his knife from his shell and quickly stabbed the beast in its right eye, watching as it whined terribly. Panting, Trowzer was unaware that another chain chomp was close by. It moved over towards him before lunging at the koopa and knocking him down. Trowzer shouted as he landed on his shell with the chain chomp still on top of him. The koopa was face to face with the beast, using his bare hands to keep the chain chomp's mouth open. Trowzer started to swear and grunt; he couldn't keep this up forever. The chain chomp's teeth were starting to dig into his hands. Trowzer grunted again as the chain chomp began to slowly close its mouth, ready to bite off the koopa's hands.

Someone shot the chain chomp from behind, causing it to growl and turn around. Then it whined when the very same person shot the chain chomp in its left eye and killed it. Trowzer immediately rolled onto his torso, stood up, and picked up his knife and weapon. Out of all the koopas who could've saved him in the room, Black was the one who prevented his hands from getting chomped off.

"Thanks, Black!"

Black was starting to wonder if he should've just let the chain chomp kill him. But the ninjakoopa couldn't just stand by and let someone get brutally gnawed on by a chain chomp, even if that someone was Trowzer. Meanwhile, the Fire Bro. who saved Red shouted when Tutankoopa kicked yet another blue shell at him. The Fire Bro. growled when he saw the pharaoh laugh evilly again, taunting him. The Fire Bro. responded by creating a large fireball in his hands and throwing it at Tutankoopa. The pharaoh was in the middle of laughing when he was hit by the ball; he shouted and fell over, his clothes slightly in flames. The pharaoh shouted and rolled around on the column to put it out before he kicked another shell at the group below. It was almost about to hit Red, but the ninjakoopa ducked and pointed his handgun at Tutankoopa. He hesitated, his hands shaking when he realized _who_ he was pointing the gun at. He couldn't fire the trigger, even if they were enemies now. His hesitation nearly got him killed; Red shouted when a chain chomp barked and threw himself at him. Red shot the beast in its left eye, causing it to drop to the floor before it had the chance to rip Red's face off.

It was right then that Tutankoopa realized he was losing the battle. The enemy knew how to defeat the chain chomps, and most of them were getting slaughtered before his eyes. It would only be a matter of time before they were all gone and he was the only one left. As much as he hated it, the pharaoh had to retreat. The pharaoh lifted his arms again and the colorful aura appeared in mid-air. Another outline of a chomp began to form; the troops were smart enough to run out of the way before it became whole and crushed everyone. When the chomp landed, no one was crushed besides a few soldiers and chain chomps who were already dead. But this time, when the ceiling rumbled, nothing plummeted to the floor. Tutankoopa questionably looked at his enemies, unaware that a giant slab of wood was coming down right above him. The wood slammed on his skull with a loud thwack, causing Tutankoopa to shout and topple off the column. He grunted and shouted as he tumbled towards the floor, hitting a few slabs of concrete and part of another broken column. Then he landed face-first on the floor, and moaned in a muffled voice.

The pharaoh groaned as he slowly got to his feet and wiped some of the dust off his crown. It wasn't until the dust was off that Tutankoopa looked forward and realized everyone in the room had defeated the chain chomps and was staring right at him. Tutankoopa flicked his eyes left and right, hoping that at least one koopa wasn't staring at him. Tutankoopa knew he could still make it so long as he got to the door to the right of him. It was only a few yards away; he could get away on time. He just needed a distraction.

"Uhh…look that way! You guys forgot to kill a chain chomp and its coming right for you!"

Trowzer blinked. "The one thing you need to realize is that I'm nowhere near as stupid as my brother."

"…(Censored)."

Tutankoopa looked down on the floor as Trowzer pointed his handgun at him.

"Well, I guess I'll just get on my knees and beg for mercy from you—"

Not even Trowzer knew what he was gonna do. As Tutankoopa pretended to surrender, he got on his knees, picked up a large pile of dust and debris lying on the floor, and threw it at Trowzer's face, as well as a few other troops. Trowzer snarled and backed away, shaking his head and trying to get the dust out of his eyes.

"STOP HIM!" he bellowed.

Tutankoopa panted as he sprinted for the door, ducking and weaving as several bullets were fired his way. It wasn't until he actually got to the door that he was hit; the pharaoh shouted when a bullet hit him in the shoulder. Tutankoopa gritted his teeth and swore, groaning as he opened up the door and quickly ran out the room.

"HE'S GETTING AWAY!"

Trowzer's troops arrived at the door when it was suddenly slammed shut. Trowzer snarled as he stormed through the room and yanked the door open. Although they couldn't see Tutankoopa in the dark hallway up ahead, they could hear him breathing heavily and groaning, still in pain from the gunshot wound.

"He's wounded, and he's not that far ahead of us! If we hurry we can still catch him!"

Trowzer and his team stormed into the hallway, hell-bent on putting the pharaoh in the grave.

* * *

Shannon had been quiet ever since Green called him out on his cowardice a while back. He didn't know what to say or how to respond; his spirit and morale felt broken. The dark koopa mostly just stayed in the back of the group or just ignored everyone who came near him, only speaking when Mel or someone else absolutely had to get a response from him. He knew people were talking behind his back; he knew there were others who were probably thinking about teasing him and pulling pranks on him in the future. But he didn't care. Shannon couldn't even get angry at Green because his ego had been bruised so greatly. He just wanted to finish this mission and go home so he could ponder on what to do with his life. Since the shootout with Larry's squad, nothing unusual or important had happened with Team Beta. The only shot that had been fired since then was from a shady koopa whose gun misfired when he was twirling it around out of boredom. Luckily he hadn't hit anyone. It wasn't until Team Beta opened up another Bowser-shaped door and arrived in a tight corridor lit with blue chandeliers that Mel told everyone to stop.

"Something wrong, Mel?"

The dark koopatrol blinked and relaxed his shoulders as he lowered his gun. "None of you guys feel that?"

"Feel what?" asked Harry.

"This…foreboding sense. There's something wrong here; Larry and his gang must've set up another trap."

Bradley scoffed. "Stop worrying so much. We cut Larry and his team down; the only ones who survived were too chicken-(censored) to face us with dignity. Do you think they even had time to put up a trap?"

"I think Mel's right. Maybe—"

Barry smacked Shannon on the back of his head. "Shut up, bitch-boy."

Shannon rubbed the back of his head and blushed when a few koopas around him began to snicker. Meanwhile, Bradley pushed himself towards the head of the group so he was standing next to Mel.

"Look, Mel. Do you see any special turrets or lasers mounted on the ceilings or walls? It's just a standard hallway; let's move our asses so we can regroup with Trowzer!"

"What if we split up? Half of us will go this way and the other half will find an alternate route. At least this way, if there is another ambush, we won't be sitting ducks like we were before," suggested Green.

Mel turned and looked at the ninjakoopa with the green bandanna tied around his head. "Sounds reasonable. Perhaps you and Shannon—"

"No, we are not splitting up again! If we do that, it'll be easier for the enemy to take us _both_ out because our numbers will be smaller!"

Mel's eyes, naturally, began to glow unsettlingly brighter. He didn't growl or even raise his voice, but it was obvious by his eyes that he was becoming irritated. "We're not going this way."

Bradley sighed heavily. "Jesus—I'll show you guys this hallway's safe!"

Bradley took a few steps into the hall and stepped on the blue carpet stretched across the floor. He then turned around and shrugged. "See? I'm perfectly fine."

Harry and Barry looked at each other and blinked. "Guess we'll be fine going this way."

The two Yoshi brothers followed Bradley as he walked through the corridor. However, no one else was tempted to follow; they wanted to see first-hand that the entire hallway was safe. Bradley had almost reached the end of the corridor when he heard a loud click. Something beeped three times, causing Bradley's eyes to grow wide.

"(Censored)."

Everyone was knocked backwards by the resulting explosion. Bradley was blown to pieces in less than a second; Harry and Barry survived the explosion, but the blast had hurled their bodies backwards. Croco had ambushed the team again with bulky bob-ombs he hid inside the walls and under the floor. Unfortunately, the blast was so big that the floor started to collapse, its stones breaking apart. Harry groaned loudly and slowly started to sit up when he felt the rumbling. The red Yoshi shouted and got to his feet, but it was too late. Harry screamed as the floor gave away beneath him. Barry wasn't even fully conscious when he fell alongside his brother. Both Yoshis screamed as they fell into darkness, presumably lost forever. Mel and the rest of his soldiers coughed and slowly got to their feet, waving hands in front of their faces to fan the smoke and debris away. Mel and Green took a few steps forward and looked down at the giant hole in the floor.

"(Censored)! Good call, Mel!"

"Yes. It's a shame about Bradley though; I don't think he made it."

"What about the Yoshis?"

"I've seen those brothers survive a kart explosion. They'll be fine; we'll look for them later after we regroup with Trowzer's team."

Green sighed deeply and looked at the massive hole in the hall. "Guess we're finding a way around."

* * *

The red Yoshi coughed violently as he slowly sat up on the floor. He groaned loudly and grabbed his head, panting as he felt blood running down his face. He slowly got to his feet before he grunted and fell to his knees. Panting, Harry ignored the pain in his legs and finally managed to stand up.

"Barry…Barry, you there?"

"Owww," his brother moaned.

Harry turned to his right and found Barry lying beside a pile of stones, ash, and fragments from the bob-ombs. The red Yoshi limped his way to Barry and took off a few stones before his brother was free from the rubble.

"You all right, bro?"

"I just said 'ow,' dumbass!"

Harry smirked and chuckled. "Yeah, you're fine."

Barry grunted when his brother reached down and helped him off the floor. The blue Yoshi winced when he stood on his left leg; he had a long and nasty gash near the knee. Both brothers had a few scratches and bruises on them, but no bones had been broken, and they could still walk. Harry looked up at the hole he and Barry just fell through and exhaled.

"Man, are we lucky! This room is only a few yards down from that hallway we were just in. Good thing we didn't fall in the caverns like Konley did."

"That doesn't (censored) mean we're in the clear, Harry! We got separated from the group and we don't know where we are!"

Harry shrugged. "We won't get anywhere just standing here bickering. Let's see if there's a way back upstairs. With any luck we might just run into Team Beta by mistake."

* * *

"THE OTHER SIDE, LEMMY!"

The short koopaling looked to his left and could see another bothersome Mach bike speeding their way. Lemmy shouted and veered his kart to the left, slamming the Koopa King into the bike. The driver shouted as the bike lost control and crashed, flipping over multiple times and sending the dark koopa smashing head-first into the road. Morton was regretting switching places with Lemmy; it seemed like Trowzer's men had been saving their best artillery for last. Somewhere behind them an enormous piranha prowler with a machine gun attached to the back of it was steadily moving down the road, getting closer and closer to the koopalings' kart. In fact, somewhere behind the piranha prowler was a blue flame flyer with purple flames on the front of it. Somehow the kart had been modified to carry a turret on the back of itself too. With the chopper hot on their tails, and more heavily armored karts filling the road, it would only be a matter of time before the koopalings were torn to shreds by the enemies' bullets.

"(Censored)! We gotta do something fast, Lemmy! Tell me you have another bright idea!"

"I'm working on it!"

The turret on the side of the helicopter was slowly beginning to whir and rotate. Morton noticed the turret spinning and his eyes grew wide.

"WORK FASTER!"

Morton screamed when the turret began to fire a colossal amount of bullets at the kart. Lemmy was forced to hit the brakes just so the bullets wouldn't tear the kart apart. The Koopa King screeched and left skid marks on the road as Lemmy steered the kart left and right. The deafening sound of the turret became louder and louder as the stream of bullets got closer to the Koopa King. Morton looked over his shoulder and yelped when he noticed that their kart was only a few feet away from the piranha prowler. Even worse, the turret on that kart was beginning to spin.

"GO FORWARD!"

"I can't do that, Morton! The chopper—"

Morton ignored him. He jumped into the driver's seat, forcing Lemmy to jump into the back seat just so the koopalings wouldn't be squished. Morton slammed his right foot on the gas pedal and the kart shot forward. At the same time, the gunner on the piranha prowler started to fire. The bullets began to trail behind the kart before it finally started to make contact with the bumper. Around the same time, the bullets from the chopper's turret began to make contact with the kart. Morton shouted and instinctively hid in his shell as a few bullets ripped through the right kart door and popped one of the tires. Lemmy screamed when the kart became unstable, unsteadily moving towards the left and right, slamming into a crash barrier and kicking up sparks as the kart grinded against the metal. The bullets from the piranha prowler were reaching the kart now; Lemmy had to move. He jumped into the front seat, shoved Morton aside, and shouted as he slammed on the gas pedal. He ducked as far as he could while Morton continued to hide. Their kart was getting riddled with bullets and starting to slow down; any longer and the kart's engine would die and/or explode.

Lucky for them, the turrets in the piranha prowler and chopper overheated, and the gunfire ceased. Morton came out of his shell, panting and glad that he was still alive. But the kart was heavily damaged, and one of the tires had popped. The brothers could already smell the smoke coming out of the kart's engine; they couldn't keep this up much longer. Morton hopped into the backseat and looked at the turret on the piranha prowler and helicopter. Panting heavily, Morton turned around and grabbed the handlebar on the back of the kart with one hand. He was gonna have to do something drastic if he and his brother were to get out of this alive.

"LEMMY! HIT THE BRAKES!"

"Are you crazy?! If we slow down now that turret will cut us to pieces!"

"Trust me! I have an idea!"

"_You_ have an idea?!"

"JUST DO IT!" he roared.

Lemmy huffed, but there was no point in arguing if whatever Morton had planned would save them in the long run. Lemmy took his foot off the gas pedal and slammed it down on the brake pedal. The kart immediately screeched and slowed down. It was going so fast that the driver of the piranha prowler couldn't react in time. He yelped just as the kart's rear bumper collided with the piranha prowler. Due to how large the kart was, part of the Koopa King managed to roll itself on top of the piranha prowler, and the bumper bashed the driver in the head. Lemmy looked over his shoulder and swore; their kart was stuck hanging partially against the piranha prowler. But Morton didn't care. His plan was to jump and hijack the kart's turret. When they were close enough, Morton shouted and tackled the dark koopatrol standing in the rear compartment. They only tussled for a brief moment before Morton took his thumb and jammed it deep into the dark koopatrol's left eye. He screamed horribly as Morton quickly crushed the organ before Morton kicked the dark koopatrol off. Before he fell, Morton snatched the submachine gun from his hands. Fueled with adrenaline, Morton pointed the gun at the other kart with a massive turret positioned on the back of it.

The loud-mouthed brown koopaling started to shoot at the kart, shouting with frustration as he tried to hit the kart and its passengers. They were sitting ducks. Both the driver and the shady koopa manning the turret were drilled full of holes. Both of them slouched over in the kart, and the vehicle slowly began to decelerate. But Morton wasn't done just yet; that chopper needed to be taken out, and fast. Still high on the adrenaline, the brown koopaling climbed onto the turret and hastily started to move it around until it was pointing up at the sky. One of his fingers accidentally pressed down on the button to activate the turret; the barrel started to whir and spin. A short burst of bullets erupted from the end of the weapon before Morton shouted and let go. The occupants in the chopper could see what Morton was trying to do and pointed their turret at him. Not worrying about his accuracy, Morton aimed the turret near the chopper and began to fire. Lemmy shouted and covered his ears as Morton fired at the helicopter, eager to shoot the bird out of the air before it was too late.

The pilot tried to weave through the wave of bullets, but Morton caught on to the pilot's tactics and knew exactly where to shoot. All the koopas in the helicopter shouted and screamed as their vehicle was pulverized by the turret's firepower. Morton could see blood splattering on the window inside the cabin; bits and pieces of metal were raining down from the chopper. Even the rotor was beginning to malfunction and losing a blade or two. Sparks and black smoke belched out of the flying vehicle and the engine started to die down. With the pilot and co-pilot dead, the helicopter slowly began to descend and spin out of control. Morton stopped firing and caught a small glimpse of the chopper as it slammed against the side of the mountain below them. The koopalings listened as the metal was twisted and crushed, followed by a thunderous explosion that sent orange flames into the air.

"Holy crap, his plan actually worked!" said Lemmy in disbelief.

Morton snickered to himself before he turned around and grinned at Lemmy. "I have my moments!"

The koopaling immediately shouted when a bullet ricocheted off part of the kart. Morton was just about to jerk the turret around so he could fire at the shady koopas speeding towards them in jetsetters, but the drivers were carrying submachine guns. Morton shouted and dove into the front seat when several more bullets were fired at the turret, almost shredding Morton's hands in the process. The driver of the piranha prowler groggily began to sit up, but Morton quickly punched him in the head and knocked him out again.

"I think it's time we go now!"

"I can't! The kart's stuck on this piranha prowler; you gotta push it off or else we'll be stuck like this!"

Morton ducked when he heard a few more gunshots and quickly sifted through the driver's shell. He pulled out the driver's handgun before he stood up and grunted as he slammed his body into the Koopa King's bumper.

"Again! It's starting to come loose!"

Morton inhaled sharply before he rammed his shoulder into the Koopa King three more times. Lemmy slammed his foot on the gas pedal and the kart was slowly beginning to move forward. Morton shouted and slammed his body into the kart one last time before the Koopa King was finally able to move again. As it slowly rolled off the piranha prowler, Morton climbed into the back of the Koopa King while Lemmy quickly drove away. Unfortunately, driving with a damaged engine was taking its toll on the Koopa King; the kart was moving even slower now, and the karts chasing after Morton and Lemmy were catching up to them. The smoke coming out of the Koopa King was black now and fogging up Lemmy's vision. The short koopaling coughed and hacked as the black fumes clouded his eyes and nostrils. If they didn't take out those karts soon, they'd be dead. Morton and Lemmy arrived on a bridge that was built right above a very deep valley. The bridge was narrow and only had one lane for each direction; if the koopalings were going to do something, it needed to be done now.

The brothers were about a third of the way across the bridge when a bomb car sped past them, going in the opposite direction. Morton turned around twice, and a sly grin began to appear on his face.

"Lemmy! Keep the kart still; I got another idea!"

"Don't push it, Morton! Sooner or later your streak's gonna run out!"

Morton laughed and pointed the handgun he stole at the bomb car. "Not to worry, bro! I'm on a roll tonight!"

Lemmy knew they were out of options. There were no item boxes anywhere on the bridge, and they had no turret or other weapon they could use to defend themselves from the pursuers. Morton breathed deeply and waited for the bomb car and the jetsetters to get close by before he fired a few times. A few of his bullets missed, but Morton eventually hit the bomb car by mistake, causing the vehicle to explode. However, due to how narrow the bridge was and how close the two lanes were, the explosion was much more catastrophic. The fireball engulfed nearly all the karts instantly; the only one not directly caught in the blast was hurled over the side of the bridge. Morton could see the fiery vehicle spinning out of control as it plummeted to the valley below. The bridge started to rumble; the explosion had been so huge that it damaged the bridge. There was another explosion from one of the karts still on the bridge, followed by deeper rumbling. Morton held onto the Koopa King tight as a section of the bridge began to collapse. Various large chunks of concrete and the metal from the crash barriers began to fall, taking what was left of the ravaged jetsetters with them. Morton kept watching, waiting for the smoke and fireball to clear. Once it did, Morton grinned widely. All that was left was a massive hole and the flames caused by the explosion.

"WHOOOOO! (CENSORED) YEAH! WE FINALLY GOT 'EM ALL!"

Lemmy started to pant, trying to figure out if he should smile or be on guard. "Are, are you serious? Are they all gone?"

Morton laughed and nodded. "I don't see anymore! The helicopter's gone; the karts are gone; I can't even hear those annoying bike engines anymore!"

Lemmy let out a harsh breath and blinked a few times before he chuckled and started to smile. The next thing the koopalings knew, both of them were laughing and cheering with joy. After all the madness that had just ensued over the past several minutes, they managed to survive it all with only a few scratches and bruises. Neither of them had even been shot. Morton leaned over and gave his brother a noogie, snickering as he messed up Lemmy's Mohawk. The smaller koopaling shoved him away before he fixed his hair so it was back to normal. Lemmy was about to laugh again when the black smoke started to go into his mouth. He waved a hand in front of his face before he coughed and exhaled.

"Damnit! I forgot about Dad's kart!"

"Who cares?! Let's just ditch the kart and hijack another one," suggested Morton.

"And be stranded in the middle of nowhere? No, screw that! We'll keep trudging along until we stumble across another gas station. I'm sure they'll be a truck or a kart…"

Lemmy's eyes grew wide. As he drove around the side of a mountain, he noticed that up ahead on the road was a large roadblock. There were several dark koopatrols stationed in front of a large truck that was completely blocking the road. The dark koopatrols who weren't carrying assault rifles were carrying rocket launchers. Morton saw the obstacle too, and his jaw dropped. There was no way out of this, no matter what they did.

"HOLY (CENSORED)!" he screamed.

One of the dark koopatrols fired a bullet bill at the Koopa King. To make things worse, it was a missile bill; the purplish explosive projectile quickly homed in on the koopalings' location and headed straight for the Koopa King. Having no other option, Lemmy swerved to the right, attempting to drive off the road down into the woods below. But the missile bill still hit the Koopa King dead-on; it exploded, sending Morton, Lemmy and the kart flying into the air. The koopalings screamed horribly as they were thrown off the road and sent falling into the woods several yards down. Morton and Lemmy were separated as they fell; Lemmy's body flew farther away, while Morton was still relatively close to the mountain. The fall would've killed them had it not been for the giant trees growing in the woods.

Lemmy slammed into the top of a tree before his body started to fall at a diagonal angle. He grunted and shouted as his body broke several tree branches and leaves with no effort. His body received several cuts in the process, including a nasty gash on his forehead. Lemmy gasped when he saw a thick tree bark coming up; he quickly hid in his shell. If he hadn't, his spine would've snapped when he made contact with the tree. Nevertheless, the impact still rattled every bone in his body and made his disoriented. From there on out, the koopaling fell straight down, grunting as he bounced off or broke dozens of branches on the way down. Lemmy shouted when part of a branch sliced his right knee open. And to make things worse, when Lemmy landed on the ground, he broke his left leg. Lemmy howled in pain as he grabbed his broken leg; the bone had nearly broken the skin. He rolled around whining until he shouted and began to roll down a small hill. The koopaling grunted again until he banged his head against a tree, knocking him out cold. His body rolled down the hill until it reached the very bottom and he stopped moving altogether.

Morton had also survived his fall, but on the way down he endured several cuts as well. Morton tried to grab onto a tree multiple times, and he ended up cutting open his right hand. Morton shouted as his body flipped and twirled on the way down. Branches smacked against his body and were crushed beneath his immense bulk. He scraped his head against a large branch before deciding that the best solution would be to hide in his shell. But Morton landed shell-first onto the thick branch; the vibrations made Morton scream as his entire body shook. He emerged from his shell to get away from all the ringing, only to tip over and bounce off the side of a tree. Then he fell straight down, and landed on a thick branch crotch-first. Morton howled in pain and began to whine as his pelvis was put through an unbearable amount of agony. The koopaling couldn't even whine in peace; the branch he fell on snapped off, sending Morton falling again. He grunted as he broke a few more branches on the way down, and then suddenly landed on the ground face-first. The koopaling mumbled something and whined again as he tried to stand up.

And then he lost consciousness when a tree branch fell down and bashed him on the skull.


	47. Run Turtle Junk, part 6

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Morton plays a game of hide-and-seek against some of Trowzer's men as he tries to keep himself and Lemmy alive; Kooper, Geno, Bosley and Hooktail continue their rescue on Yoshi's Island; Tubba Blubba's forces try to hold off another assault from Trowzer's troops.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 6)**

Morton's head was pounding when he finally woke up. The koopaling grunted quietly before he slowly opened his eyes. He shut them again when his vision became blurred. The brown koopaling breathed heavily before he opened his eyes again and groaned loudly. The giant branch that fell on his head was still on top of him. The koopaling grunted twice as he tried to get up, but he was too tired. Morton shut his eyes again and nearly passed out. Using a sudden burst of adrenaline, Morton grunted and jerked his body upwards, knocking the branch off his body in the process. The brown reptile rolled over and grabbed his head, groaning in pain. He lied on his shell, grasping some of the cuts on his forehead before coughing a few times. Blood and a few bits of wood spewed out of his mouth shortly before Morton grunted and rolled to his left. The koopaling lied flat on his stomach before he struggled to get to his feet.

The brown turtle shouted in pain and grabbed the area in-between his legs. His crotch was still sore from landing on that thick branch moments before he passed out. Legs wobbling, the koopaling whined and fell to his knees. Morton panted and coughed up more blood before he forced himself to move on. He got back to his feet and sluggishly walked forward. He could smell smoke; the kart must've exploded when it hit the ground. Morton slowly dragged his feet through the woods, wincing and groaning, hoping that his brother was still alive. The koopaling walked through a bush, tripping over a few roots in the process, and wound up rolling down a hill. He shouted and grunted until he reached at the bottom, landing face-first in the dirt. The reptile groaned in a muffled tone before he slowly got back up. As he walked forward, his vision began to go in and out. Morton grabbed his head with one hand before he collapsed to his knees and started breathing heavily. His vision went black; Morton couldn't see anything temporarily.

The koopaling just remained on his knees before he suddenly shook his head and got his vision back. Panting, the koopaling stood up and kept walking. He walked past a couple of trees before he arrived at the wreckage. The totaled Koopa King was lying on the ground, upside-down and burning brightly. Morton stared at the ruined kart and swore to himself. He was about to walk away when he saw his brother lying face-down beside it.

"Lemmy?!"

Morton hurriedly walked over to Lemmy, grunting and coughing as he did so. He flipped his brother over and looked at his body. The koopaling was more beat up than Morton and had suffered a broken leg as well. Knowing it wasn't safe to be near the flaming kart, Morton grabbed Lemmy by his arms and grunted loudly as he dragged him over to a massive log. He laid Lemmy behind it, covering his body in case someone showed up. Morton looked down at the koopaling's body and panted heavily.

"All right…okay, okay, okay, uh…you're gonna be fine."

Morton, not sure what to do, started to slap Lemmy across the face a few times, hoping the sudden pain would get him up. The brown koopaling forced himself to stay calm, but when Lemmy didn't even groan or grunt, the burly reptile became frantic.

"Come on, goddamnit! Just wake up—it's only a few scratches and a broken leg! Get up!"

Morton actually went as far as punching Lemmy in the face twice. But that didn't work either. Morton exhaled with frustration and held his head as it began to throb. He stopped moving again and waited for his vision to come back before he huffed with frustration.

"Okay, what was it…what do they always do in those movies? …Oh yeah!"

Morton lowered Lemmy's jaw, exposing his mouth. Then Morton opened his mouth and promptly gave him mouth-to-mouth. He exhaled into his mouth, causing Lemmy's chest to inflate slightly, but it didn't work. Morton took another breath and gave the koopaling mouth-to-mouth again. Still nothing. Another breath and more exhaling. Morton felt Lemmy twitch a little; he was starting to come back. The bulky brown koopaling took another deep breath and exhaled into Lemmy's mouth. Lemmy's eyes opened almost instantly. He grunted questionably when he saw Morton lying on his body exhaling into him. Lemmy gagged twice and pushed Morton off of him so he could cough. Morton sat on the ground and smiled.

"Oh, thank God! You're alive!"

Lemmy slowly wiped his mouth off and groaned and spat everywhere. "Yeah, thanks Morton! You couldn't figure out a less disgusting way to wake me up?!"

Morton frowned. "Stop whining! If it hadn't been for me you'd probably be dead by now!"

"I'm sorry, Morton. Not everyone in this family likes to wake up smelling your nasty-ass breath! Maybe if you brushed more often…"

Morton growled. "Whatever. …Are you okay?"

Lemmy tried to sit up, but he was lying on his shell. The koopaling grunted and slowly rolled over. He didn't even get to his sides before he shouted and stopped moving. His broken leg and gashed knee prevented him from rolling over.

"…No."

Morton huffed and grabbed Lemmy. He sat the yellow koopaling beside the log, ignoring the reptile as he shouted and groaned repeatedly.

"All right, just stay here. I'm gonna go find something. There's gotta be some first aid kit or-or some shack full of medicine or shrooms or _something_ around here!"

Lemmy started to breathe heavily. "Fine. Just be careful; I wouldn't be surprised if Trowzer's men showed up."

"What, did they follow us down the mountain and crash their karts too?!"

"I'm serious. After everything we've been through, I'm pretty sure they're gonna try to confirm our deaths. They need to be sure we're dead. Don't act too shocked if you see a dark koopa or two."

Morton nodded. "I'll be back soon."

"Make sure you find some breath mints too while you're gone."

The brown koopaling stood up and snorted. "(Censored) you, Lemmy."

As Morton started to limp away, Lemmy blinked and called out to him again. "Hey, wait!"

Morton stopped walked and huffed. "What?"

Lemmy paused for a long time, not sure how to say what he was about to say without sounding "soft" in the process. But given everything they went through, Lemmy figured he might as well say it since he might not have another chance.

"Thank you…for saving me, I mean."

Morton stared at Lemmy and smiled slightly. "I'm your brother, Lemmy. Did you expect me to just leave you there?"

The brown koopaling turned around and disappeared into the woods, leaving Lemmy sitting beside the log.

* * *

It didn't take long for Morton to find a nearby building. It was a rather small building with a wheel-less kart sitting beside it. The brown koopaling limped his way towards the dusty door and pushed it open. The brown koopaling didn't bother asking for help or saying "hello" out loud. He was gonna get his supplies and hurry back to Lemmy. Morton winced a few times as he opened up random cabinets and checked all the shelves in the middle of the building; it was obviously some sort of abandoned gas station or convenience store. Morton limped his way to what looked like the previous owner's office and stepped inside. He checked all the drawers in the desk for anything good, but all he found were a few dried shrooms. Morton scarfed them down anyway, trying not to gag from the bitter taste.

"There's gotta be a first aid kit somewhere in here," he muttered to himself.

Morton sat down in a nearly broken down chair before he glanced at the desk again. There was another drawer he hadn't seen before—a locked one. The koopaling tugged on the handle twice, hoping it would easily slide open. It didn't. Morton sighed with frustration and took a hammer out of another drawer.

"I got no time for this bull(censored)!"

Morton started to furiously bang at the locked drawer using the hammer. He even turned it around and started smacking the claw of the hammer against the wood, slowly tearing it to bits. All he had to do was damage it to the point where he could stick his hand in and just take out the items. It took Morton a few minutes, but eventually he managed to destroy most of the wood. The koopaling put the hammer down and took out the two items inside: a standard switchblade knife and a first aid kit. Morton sighed.

"There! Now to get back to Lemmy!"

Morton got out of the chair and started to head out the exit. And then he yelped and immediately hid behind a shelf. A dark koopa carrying an assault rifle walked by the building. Lemmy was right; there was a small patrol in the area. Unfortunately, as Morton hid, he tripped over an old propane tank, causing it to tip over and creating a loud metallic clatter. The dark koopa jerked his head towards the building and stepped inside. Breathing heavily, Morton clutched the switchblade knife and pressed the button on the handle. Moments after the blade popped out, Morton stood up and peeked around the corner of the shelf. The assailant was standing not even two yards away from him. Morton noticed the koopa was looking at the counter and cash register; his back was turned. Morton attacked, using nothing but luck to get him through the situation. The dark koopa shouted when Lemmy stabbed him in the back of the neck, but he was still alive. Panting, Morton took the blade out and shouted when he stabbed the dark koopa again. He stabbed the assailant in the head and neck over and over until he collapsed to the floor.

Morton quickly got up and headed out the store. He needed to find Lemmy now; for all he knew, Trowzer's men already got to him. As Morton began to approach the burning wreck, he stepped through a set of thick bushes and snapped a few twigs.

"Hold on, I think I got him!"

Morton swore in such a high-pitched voice that it sounded like he squealed. He ducked into the bush, shaking and panting softly, hoping that the dark koopa wouldn't come his way. He was wrong. Already he could hear the footsteps getting louder and louder. Morton got his switchblade ready and gripped it firmly. He glanced to his right and saw part of the dark koopa's shoes right next to the bush. A bright light shined inside the bush; the turtle had a flashlight equipped on his gun. He breathed heavily and leaned down, pulling some of the leaves apart. Morton snarled and attacked, jumping up and stabbing the koopa twice. The dark koopa screamed; Morton quickly covered his mouth with one hand and used the other to stab him over and over again. Morton didn't stop stabbing until the dark koopa suddenly went silent. Afterwards, Morton laid the dead reptile's body into the bushes to hide it. The koopaling picked up the first aid kit he dropped before his knees began to shake. Morton's bruised body began to affect him again; he fell to his knees and groaned, holding his head as it throbbed.

"Sir, the kart's totaled. I don't see the bodies anywhere, but even if they did survive, I doubt they got far. With any luck they probably bled to death after the fall."

Morton ignored his pain and got to his feet. Someone had found the wreckage. More importantly, someone was very close to Lemmy's location. Half-running, half-limping, Morton panted as he hurried over to the wreckage. He saw the massive burly shady koopa talking into a radio with his back turned. Suddenly, the shady koopa heard someone grunt out loud. It was Lemmy. The shady koopa started to approach the log Lemmy was hiding at, but Morton got to him first. The shady koopa jerked around one second too late. Morton shouted as he slashed at the koopa's throat, and then immediately screamed when blood splashed on his face. The shady koopa let out a gurgle moan as blood spewed from his neck wound. He tried to attack Morton, but he wound up falling on top of him, pinning him to the ground. Morton shouted again as blood kept gushing out of the neck, splattering all over his face, eyes, and neck. Morton turned his head and held a hand up to the neck, but that didn't stop the blood flow. The koopaling couldn't even scream without getting the crimson in his mouth. Frustrated, Morton took his knife and slashed his throat again.

There was a loud splash, and another large gush of blood spewed all over Morton's body. The shady koopa released a small gurgle and stopped moving. Morton breathed heavily and shoved the koopa off before he sat up and began to cough and wipe the blood off his face. He picked up his knife and first aid kit and limped his way over to the log where Lemmy was still sitting.

"Holy (censored)! What happened—"

"Relax, I'm fine. It's not my blood."

Lemmy sighed. "So there is a patrol out here."

"Yeah, and the guy I just killed said he found the wreckage. The rest of 'em will be here soon!"

"We gotta do this fast. Open the first aid kit."

Morton quickly opened the kit, revealing a few super shrooms, gauze bandages, some painkillers, and a few other supplies. Morton handed two shrooms to Lemmy before he gulped down the other two. The brothers quickly ate the shrooms and swallowed hard, feeling mildly better than before.

"We don't have time to patch all our wounds. Give me the bandages."

Morton handed the gauze to Lemmy and he quickly started to wrap it around the gash on his right leg.

"Aren't you supposed to sew the wound shut? Or cauterize it or whatever they do in those TV shows?"

"I told you: we don't have time! Now…snap my bone back in place."

"What?!"

Lemmy tore off a large hunk of wood from the log and put it in-between his teeth. "I need you to snap my leg bone back into place. If you don't, I won't be able to walk again and I could get an infection."

"Lemmy, I'm pretty damn sure that's not how it works in real life! Shouldn't we make some splint—"

"THIS ISN'T REAL LIFE, MORTON! THIS IS A (CENSORED) FANFIC!"

Morton covered Lemmy's mouth, thinking someone heard the outburst. "Be quiet!"

"Sorry," he said, in a quieter voice.

Morton stood up, grabbed Lemmy's left foot, and extended it carefully. Then he put his right foot down on the bone that was practically protruding through the skin.

"So…I-I just yank your leg hard and then press down on your bone with my foot at the same time?"

Lemmy nodded. "That'll pop it back into place. Just make sure you bandage it afterwards."

"…And you're sure this won't make it worse?"

"Just do it Morton!"

The brown koopaling sighed. "Fine. You ready?"

"Yeah."

"…Now?"

Lemmy nodded. "Now!"

Morton exhaled heavily twice, still wary about what he was about to do. Then he quickly yanked Lemmy's leg and pressed down on the bone with his foot. There was a loud pop, followed by a series of tiny cracks. Lemmy bit down on the wood and screamed horribly. Morton immediately took his foot off Lemmy's leg as the yellow koopaling screamed again and again. The only reason why no one heard him was because the wood in his mouth muffled his voice. Lemmy whined and sobbed to himself as he slouched over on the log, his leg in unbearable pain. Morton quickly took the gauze and wrapped it around Lemmy's busted leg, doing his best to avoid his cries. Lemmy slowly started to calm down, screaming and moaning less and less as Morton got the gauze on. When it was firmly wrapped, Morton exhaled with relief.

"Okay, done! Let's go!"

Morton took the switchblade and began to run away. However, after running for a few seconds, he blinked and turned around. Lemmy was still lying beside the log, not moving. The wood he bit down on fell out of his mouth. He had passed out from shock.

"Damnit, Lemmy!"

Morton rushed over to Lemmy and slapped him a few times in an attempt to wake him up again. But the koopaling had a direr problem to deal with.

"Hey, have you seen Tony yet?"

"No. He said he was heading south. Go check on him; maybe he found the koopalings and ran into trouble."

The rest of the patrol was here. Having no other option, Morton grabbed Lemmy and grunted as he picked him up. He put his brother over his right shoulder and grunted again as he started to walk through the woods. Upon hearing more chatter, Morton stopped walking and began to jog into the wilderness, fleeing from the assailants as fast as he could.

* * *

Hooktail and Kooper were trying their best not to say anything. Both of them were walking along the ground slowly, occasionally flicking their eyes at each other. The dragon and koopa realized how dire the situation was and that they couldn't let some petty argument come about. Nevertheless, both of them felt awkward and knew they needed to say something to break the silence. They were hoping the white Yoshi or pink Yoshi traveling with them would start up a conversation, but they hadn't said a word since they had been freed. Hooktail turned to Kooper and opened her mouth, but she quickly shut it again and huffed. Kooper glanced at the red dragon a few times before he sighed heavily and scratched the back of his head.

"So, uh…what's with you and Dracolin?"

Hooktail blinked. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what's that supposed to mean'? I was just asking—" Kooper stopped himself; he could already sense another pointless argument breaking out. He sighed and rephrased his question. "Why do you hate him so much? It's like everytime that dragon's brought up, you can't help but insult him or brag about how disgusting he is."

"Because he _is_ disgusting! What the hell kind of dragon thinks that farting in someone's face is funny, or that sitting on their heads and rubbing their dung-covered ass all over them after they've just defecated is funny, or that throwing—"

"You can…you can stop now. I'm not sure why you're complaining though. I remember Mario telling me that you tried to persuade him to smell your feet once."

"Shut up; that's different!" she snapped. "There is nothing attractive about Dracolin's unwashed derrière! But my feet are a delicacy! You can't even fathom how many people have paid me to let them sniff my wondrous feet!"

Kooper glanced over at Hooktail's feet. He noticed that all four of them were covered in dirt and filth; no doubt they didn't smell all that great. The blue-shelled koopa just scowled and turned away, trying not to imagine what it'd be like if his nose was pressed against them. There was a long awkward silence, then Hooktail took a deep breath and spoke again.

"The truth is that Dracolin's a sadist. I've seen dragons who kill for sport, who burn down villages, who kidnap koopas and bring them to their castles to eat them. Sure, maybe I've swallowed a few koopas here and there, and maybe I've burned some of them alive…but I'm better than Dracolin. We're talking about a guy who bit off a Toad's head because he didn't like the way he smelled. I mean, this is a dragon who rounded up thirty gloombas, put 'em in a pit, and then he jumped into the pit and went around stomping on them all. And the whole time he was singing this jolly tune out loud with a grin on his face, commenting how nice it felt to have all their crushed bodies squishing between his toes."

Kooper gagged and turned away, grimacing again. "Well…you sure are descriptive."

"Dracolin didn't even have a reason for it either! He was just bored! Even if some of the reasons I had for doing the things I did were petty, I still had _some_ kind of reason. Maybe I was hungry and wanted to snack on a koopa; maybe I was pissed off that they kept invading my castle, so I burned a few of them to a crisp. Not once did I ever slaughter anyone because I was bored and had nothing better to do."

"I get the point. If we're gonna take over this island, we need to take out Dracolin."

The four creatures continued to walk through the forests until the pink Yoshi stopped and flared her nostrils. She sniffed the air a few times and began to look left and right.

"You guys smell burnt meat?"

The other three creatures frowned. No one even had to give them a hint as to what the pink Yoshi thought she smelled. They quickly ran through the forests, getting closer and closer to the area where the Yoshis were being held. Kooper and the white Yoshi walked through a set of bushes before bursting through a large set of leaves. Kooper immediately gagged and turned away. The white Yoshi closed his eyes and swore to himself. Hooktail and the pink Yoshi showed up a few seconds later, with the same reactions. The red dragon shook her head and growled. The captured Yoshis were already dead, their bodies blackened by Dracolin's fiery breath.

"Goddamnit…" muttered the pink Yoshi.

"You see, turtle? This is what I'm talking about."

Kooper didn't say anything. He just stared at the burnt bodies with steam rising from them. Hooktail slowly walked over to the corpses lying on the ground before she leaned down so her nose was a few inches away from them. The red dragon blinked and lifted her head before she turned around.

"We gotta go warn Geno and the others!"

"Why? Just because we weren't fast enough doesn't mean they won't—"

"That's not what I mean! Dracolin killed these Yoshis recently! If I'm right, then he's probably on his way over to execute the Yoshis Geno's team is trying to save!"

Kooper's eyes grew wide. "Dracolin's gonna find them and slaughter 'em too!"

Hooktail lied on the ground so Kooper could hop on. "Get on my back! I'll fly back over to them; if we hurry, we might make it!"

"No. There are still things we need to do around this section of the island. These Yoshis might be dead, but I'm pretty sure some of those shady koopas are patrolling these parts," said the white Yoshi.

"We'll stay here and clear out the place. You guys go ahead and rescue your friends," said the pink Yoshi.

"Suit yourself!"

The blue-shelled koopa hopped onto Hooktail's back, and the dragon quickly flapped her wings and took flight.

* * *

Geno, Bosley, Eddard and the orange Yoshi rebel found the hostages they were looking for with little effort. All of them were tied around a thick tree with gags in their mouths and blindfolds over their eyes. The orange Yoshi started to walk towards the captives when Eddard frowned and stopped him.

"Hey, wait a second! Don't you think this is a trap?"

The rebel blinked. "What makes you say that?"

Eddard huffed. "DUH! The bad guys _always_ spring some sort of trap in situations like this!"

"…I agree. Ned has a good point," said Geno.

The orange rebel scoffed. "I'm not taking some advice from a kid. Let the grown-ups do the hard work; you just…sit down and don't talk."

"Watch your tone, Tallard. Ned's just trying to help," said Bosley.

"Tch! If the kid wants to help, he can—"

Before he finished, a large silhouette appeared over the area. The gang heard something flap once, and then the silhouette quickly vanished. Tallard started to pant heavily.

"Is that dragon friend of yours supposed to be back this soon?"

"No," said Geno.

Tallard began to panic. "It's Dracolin. We gotta free them now!"

"But what if there's a trap?" Eddard reminded them.

"We don't have time! If we just sit here and hide, those Yoshis are gonna get killed!"

Tallard was the first one to go. The other three stayed still, wondering if there was a trap planted somewhere around the Yoshis. But when nothing happened to Tallard, the other heroes quickly rushed over to free the captives as well. Tallard and Bosley quickly started to cut through the ropes whilst Geno and Eddard took off the gags. After the blue and orange Yoshis cut through the nylon, the ropes collapsed to the ground, and the survivors started to breathe heavily.

"Thank you—"

Tallard covered the green Yoshi's mouth. "Shut up! That yellow dragon is here; we gotta get outta here now!"

There was another flap of wings, and the silhouette showed up on the ground again. The freed Yoshis quickly started to run away, with Tallard, Geno, Bosley and Eddard within the group. There was no way all of them could cram themselves into a bush, but lucky for them, they were close to the cave of chomp rock. Everyone panted as they rushed towards a small opening, one just big enough for the Yoshis to crawl through. However, Geno and Tallard stayed outside. They knew Dracolin would see their footprints in the dirt; they had to cover their tracks. Both of them tore a large branch with leaves on it off a nearby tree and began to sweep their shoeprints away.

"You sure this will work?" asked Geno.

The orange Yoshi panted as he disposed of the prints. "I saw it in a movie once!"

"Did it _work_ in the movie?"

Tallard stopped sweeping. "…(Censored), no, it didn't. Just get in the cave! Now!"

Geno and Tallard tossed their sticks aside. They lied flat on their bellies and began to crawl their way inside the cave. They rushed towards the rest of the group and crouched down, staring at the hole they came through. They were inside the alternate entrance to the cave, but several chomp rocks were blocking their path. They were trapped. Outside, Dracolin flapped his wings a few times and landed on the ground softly. Grinning and drooling, the demented dragon looked left and right as he laughed.

"Y'know, I was just gonna dump you out in the sea and watch ya drown, but I gotta say, that flight over here's sure made me hungry!"

Dracolin licked his choppers and laughed evilly. Suddenly, he looked at the tree and frowned. The Yoshis were gone; the ropes that bound them had been severed. The yellow dragon growled deeply before he opened his mouth and let out a big gush of flames, almost as if he were roaring. He started snorting; acrid smoke began to flow out of his nostrils.

"Fine! Fine, that's fine—if you guys wanna play a little hide and seek, then fine! You creatures aren't so smart you know! I can smell you dinosaurs even when I'm flying in the sky!"

The yellow dragon started to sniff the air, taking a few steps forward as he looked all over the ground. He inspected a nearby bush after hearing its leaves rustling, but it turned out to be nothing. The dragon blinked and looked at the ground for clues, where he spotted part of a shoeprint that abruptly ended. Dracolin stared at the few shoeprints he saw before glancing up at the cave the rebels were hiding in. Dracolin walked near the cave and took a huge whiff, detecting the Yoshis' scent in the air. The dragon started to grin again.

"Ohhh, how clever of you, trying to cover up your tracks. But it looks like you missed a few footprints!"

The rebels started to pant when they noticed something large was covering up the hole leading outside. Dracolin snorted a few times, blowing a cloud of dirt into the survivors' faces. All of them held their mouths shut and coughed quietly or forced themselves not to sneeze. Dracolin snarled with frustration as he tried to stick his giant nose and head into the entrance. He shouted and started to scrape along the ground, tearing apart the dirt as he dug a hole big enough for him to go under the entrance and get inside. The dragon stuck part of his head inside; this time he managed to get his nose and mouth through. If the hole was any deeper, Dracolin would be able to jam his entire head inside and he'd see the escapees.

"COME OUT! I know you rebels are hiding in there! If you show yourselves now, I promise not to chew when I eat you!"

Eddard forced himself not to whimper. He already had a close encounter with a dragon and found it most unpleasant, and Dracolin was nowhere near as merciful as Hooktail. Bosley and Tallard pointed the guns they had at the cave entrance. Geno prepared himself to do his infamous Geno Whirl move. He knew there was no way he wouldn't at least wound the giant creature. But he needed a clear shot if he wanted to kill the beast. Dracolin snarled with frustration again and banged his head against the cave multiple times. The sudden vibrations caused rocks and dirt to fall from the ceiling, but the entrance itself didn't budge. The dragon resumed digging a hole again, making it deeper and deeper, acting like a dog trying to get its way underneath a fence. Frayed, the dragon shouted and tried to stick his head inside the cave. Once again, he could only get his mouth and nose in. He wiggled his head around but it was no use. It would take him some time to get inside.

"…Okay then. I'll just smoke you out!"

Everyone's eyes grew wide. Dracolin breathed heavily, blowing puffs of dirt at the rebels in the process. Then the dragon inhaled sharply, ready to fill the cave with smoke.

"DRACOLIN!"

The beast stopped and swallowed. Some of the smoke came out of his nose and mouth, but it wasn't enough to fill the entire cave.

"What?! I'm busy right now!"

"Marcus said he found someone close to the leader who might help us find him! We gotta get over to him in case something goes wrong!"

Dracolin removed his head from the cave. "I've been tracking the rebels that have escaped—"

"We have more important things to deal with than picayune rebels! Now give my team a ride to Marcus so we can support him!"

Dracolin looked at the cave entrance and growled, his teeth showing and smoke coming out his nostrils.

"Don't think I forgot about you," he warned them.

Geno and the others waited for a minute or two. They heard a few shady koopas chattering amongst themselves, followed by the sound of beating wings. There was a sudden whoosh, and the sound of the wings eventually grew softer and softer. Geno cautiously stuck his head out the cave entrance, making sure no one was around.

"I think we're clear."

Geno stepped out into the open, and all of the rebels slowly followed them outside. The green Yoshi who was the leader of the rebels who had been tied to a tree sighed with much relief.

"(Censored)! That was too close!"

"You see? That's what I'm talking about! If you guys had done what I did and covered yourselves in dragon dung, that wouldn't have happened!" said Bosley.

"Relax old man. He didn't find us, did he?" said Tallard.

"Only because someone called him away at the last second! I know it's gross, but if we smear enough dung on our bodies, at the very least we'll be able to hide better when we run into shady koopas and Dracolin."

The green Yoshi nodded. "He's right. I'm not letting some flying lizard chew me to bits; there's no way I'm goin' out like that."

"The dung _can_ throw off Dracolin's sense of smell," said a female red Yoshi.

Tallard blinked. "You guys are seriously gonna rub (censored) all over your bodies?"

"Got a better idea?" asked Geno.

The orange Yoshi scoffed. "No, I guess not."

"Good. Now start looking. I'm pretty sure there's a pile big enough somewhere around here," said Bosley.

Eddard began to snicker. "You guys are gonna get covered in dragon poop!"

Tallard jerked his head over to Ned. "So are you, kid."

Eddard frowned. "But Bosley!" he whined.

The blue Yoshi grinned slyly. "It's for your own good."

* * *

"LET GO OF ME!"

"Murray, stop fighting it! Just stay calm!"

"NO! Those assholes killed my wife! Just give me five minutes and I'll find the son of a bitch—"

"And then what? You let yourself get slaughtered like some common sow?"

The terrapin clad in black armor continued to fight the two Hammer Bros. that were holding him down. Everyone else was either watching the spectacle or panting. They spent a long time running away from the enemy, and had only taken a short break to allow Croco and his bandits to set that trap in one of the corridors. Larry was keeping to himself, still unable to confess what happened back in the atrium. Eventually the Hammer Bros. pinned Murray to the floor, but the terrapin continued to thrash about.

"Murray, I know you're upset, but you have to stay calm," said Wendy.

"My wife is dead! At least let me find the bastard who cut her down!"

"Maybe she's not dead. Maybe-maybe she just got shot and blacked out. She could still be alive in the atrium," said a Boomerang Bro.

"Larry, are you sure you saw her body?"

Larry hadn't even noticed that he was looking down at the floor. "Huh? Oh…yes. I'm sorry, Murray…she didn't make it."

"But-but are you sure, Larry? Maybe you confused her face—"

"Murray, she's dead. I'm telling you, I saw her body. There's no way that mangled…" Larry stopped himself, knowing that Murray didn't want to hear any of the details. Unfortunately, his partial words sent the terrapin into a frenzy. He roared beneath his helmet and finally shook the Hammer Bros. off. But as he got up and began to charge backwards, ready to face Mel and his gang, four koopa troopas tackled him to the floor, dog-piling on him. Murray snarled and shouted as he tried to wiggle free, stretching out his right hand.

"I HAVE TO FIND HIM! I have to find my wife's killer!"

One of the koopa troopa's grunted. "Killing him won't bring her back! You know that!"

"It's my wife! My…my wife…"

Murray suddenly stopped fighting the koopa troopas. He stopped stretching out his hand; he stopped trying to slide his way across the floor. Murray slowly put his head on the floor and started to make horrible moaning noises inside his armor. Even though his entire head was clad inside the helmet, many of the koopas in the room assumed he broke down and started to cry. Larry sighed heavily and sat down on a cinderblock. It wasn't just that he was the one who found the body; he was partially the reason why his wife was dead. He had an opportunity to save her, but he was so scared that he let her die so he wouldn't risk his own life.

"This isn't exactly going as planned," said a Boomerang Bro. wearing a blue shell and helmet.

Larry blinked away a few tears and sighed. "No...I don't know how much longer we can keep this up."

"Guess you can't blame the poor guy though. I know I'd feel the same way if my sister had been killed."

"He can't fixate on this right now; he'll get himself killed if he tries to find one guy in an army full of hundreds."

The Boomerang Bro. blinked. "Funny. I thought you'd be siding with him. Isn't the guy who killed your brother responsible for all this mess? Don't you feel like getting your revenge too?"

Larry's face twitched a few times and he found himself turning his left hand into a fist. This was all Trowzer's fault. Why was it that people like Murray's wife and Iggy Koopa (not to mention his late girlfriend Skipy) had to suffer while he waltzed around doing what he pleased?

"…The time will come, Henson. I assure you…his time will come eventually."

Henson smirked. "And I'll be standing right next to you looking down at Trowzer the moment we bash his head in."

Larry and Henson looked at each other and smiled slightly. "Thanks. At least I won't be taking him on myself."

While Larry and Henson were talking, the side door leading into the armory burst open. Tubba Blubba and several of his clubbas poured into the room, landing flat on their backs or bellies. The giant clubba panted heavily before he stood up and shook his head.

"Oh thank God! We finally got away!"

Wendy, however, was not pleased. She kicked over a bunch of spiky shells that the koopatrols usually wore to defend themselves.

"Since you're here, I'm guessing that you failed to defend yourselves from Trowzer too?"

"Don't get snippy with me! They used some kind of poisonous gas to blind us and make us confused! We didn't even have the chance to fight back; we had to retreat!"

Larry closed his eyes and pressed his head against the wall. "Just keeps gettin' better, don't it?"

"Sir—or-or ma'am; I guess ma'am is better since you're female and all—"

"Just say what you have to say, Tubba Blubba!" shouted Wendy.

"Right, sorry. Um…maybe we should retreat. We could find another castle or even build our own—"

"No one in this castle is safe with Trowzer still breathing and you know it," said Henson.

"But Trowzer doesn't care about the rest of us! He only wants Bowser; the rest of us don't need to be in his way!"

"Oh, I get it. You're too much of a coward to stand up for anything, so you just wanna cut and run. Is that it?"

Tubba Blubba started to growl. "No offense, Wendy, but I don't care about Bowser. I only joined this stupid team to get away from the boos in Gusty Gulch. But now I have to worry about getting shot at or having someone sneak up behind me and slit my throat! I'd rather have the piss scared outta me than take on Trowzer's men!"

"Then go! The (censored) door's right there!" shouted Larry.

Tubba Blubba stared at the blue-haired koopaling, shocked at his sudden outburst. He could see that the koopaling was under a lot of stress, especially with his father in danger. But Tubba Blubba still valued his life more than the lives of most of the koopas in the armory.

"Fine then. C'mon men! Let's get out of here!"

Most of the clubbas didn't move. One particular white clubba took a few steps forward and called out to Tubba. "Uh, sir? We'd prefer staying here and helping out the koopalings, if that's fine with you."

"I SAID LET'S GO!"

Just as the clubbas were about to go, there was a muffled explosion from above. The sudden explosion caused the armory to shake a little, and bits of the ceiling began to fall down.

"The hell was that?"

There was a second explosion. A chunk of the ceiling almost big enough to flatten a koopa troopa fell to the floor. Everyone began to take a few steps back when they looked up and noticed cracks in the ceiling.

"Everyone get your weapons ready!" shouted Wendy.

"We don't know if it's the enemy yet! It could just be—"

Seconds later there was a tremendous explosion. The koopatrol who was talking to Wendy was squashed beneath all the rubble. Everyone knocked down by the blast quickly got up and began to cough as a dust cloud filled the armory. A few thin black ropes came out of the hole in the ceiling. The next thing everyone knew, Mel was sliding down one of the ropes, firing a submachine gun at Wendy and Larry's men.

"AMBUSH!" screamed Wendy.

One of the clubbas standing next to Tubba Blubba shouted as he was drilled full of holes. More men began to slide down the ropes, armed with automatic weapons or deadly knives. Tubba Blubba was still coughing and trying to recover from the explosion when someone fired at him. Due to being such a big target, it was hard for anyone to miss. The giant clubba was hit in the back; thankfully the bullet went right through, missing his heart and other vital organs. Tubba Blubba fell to the floor and coughed up blood before he groaned and tried to get to his feet. Another bullet was fired, and it hit the massive clubba in the left arm. He fell again, moments before another bullet hit him in the posterior. Tubba Blubba shouted and whined as he rolled over, feeling incredible pain in his derrière. To add insult to injury, a dark koopatrol began to slide down one of the black ropes. He pointed his submachine gun at Tubba Blubba and the green clubbas protecting him and fired a few times. Not only did he kill the clubbas, but he managed to hit Tubba Blubba in the abdomen twice.

"THE BOSS IS DOWN! EVERYONE COVER TUBBA BLUBBA!"

Ironically, the same white clubba who disagreed with Tubba Blubba leaving the castle was the same one who just shouted out the order. Even now he was standing at his leader's side, defending him. Tubba Blubba groaned and coughed up blood as he lied on the floor, bleeding out. The sound of all the gunfire and explosions around him seemed to become muffled, and his vision kept fading in and out. Tubba Blubba tried lifting his head, but he wound up collapsing right back down again, breathing heavily. Meanwhile, the white clubba was holding his ground, grunting and shouting as he swung his club around wildly. One of Mel's lieutenants tried to sneak up on Tubba Blubba in an attempt to slip his blade into the giant clubba's throat. The white clubba promptly bashed him in the head with his weapon. Two Boomerang Bros. clad in black shells and helmets instead of blue tried to take out the clubbas guarding Tubba Blubba so they could get to their boss. But when they reached the white clubba, he wasted no time slamming his club into their feet and mangling them beyond recognition. Both of them collapsed to the floor, howling in agony as their feet bled, before the white clubba silenced them with a good whack to their heads.

"We can't stay here! We gotta get Tubba Blubba someplace safer!"

Larry noticed that some of his troops had already begun to retreat, running out of the armory so they could head up a nearby staircase and find some cover on another floor. Larry and Wendy hid behind a tipped-over table before they looked at Tubba Blubba. The giant clubba was whining and breathing heavily, looking like he was about to cry.

"Please! Please don't leave me!" he whined.

Larry turned away from Tubba Blubba and growled. He closed his eyes and slammed his fist against the table with frustration.

"Goddamnit—Wendy, I'm gonna need your help!"

Larry ran out into the open, ducking as a few bullets whizzed his way. Using some of the last chain chomp teeth he had, the koopaling ran over to a shady koopa and effortlessly stabbed him in the back of the neck. The koopa shouted and fell down, obviously dead. Larry pulled out the tooth and chucked it to his right, hitting another shady koopa in the eye. When the koopaling finally reached Tubba Blubba, he grabbed him by his left arm and started to drag him backwards. The loyal clubbas assisted Larry, grunting as they dragged his body across the floor slowly. Larry shouted when the clubba standing in front of him got his brains blown out, sending bright red crimson in his face.

"WENDY!"

Wendy felt the same as Larry; she wanted to leave Tubba Blubba behind. Not only would he slow them down, but the coward was more concerned about saving his own ass than protecting everyone in the castle. Nevertheless, she knew she'd feel guilty if she left him, so she quickly ran over to the giant clubba and grabbed his left leg. The clubbas, Larry, and Wendy all grunted as they slowly dragged Tubba Blubba across the floor. They stopped and grunted again right before they mustered the strength to pick him up a few inches off the floor.

"GO! WE'LL HOLD 'EM OFF!" shouted the white clubba.

While Larry and the others carried a bleeding Tubba Blubba to safety, the rest of the troops were retreating. The only ones who stayed behind were the white clubbas, and there were only three of them in the armory. The loyal one who seemed to be Tubba Blubba's second in command was mowing down enemies left and right. He swung his club at an upward angle, sending a dark koopa flying into the air; he swung his club at someone's midriff, shattering some bones and puncturing vital organs. Then the white clubba spun himself around, club in hand, and knocked down shady koopas with no effort. It was like he was the green shell in a Bowl Over mini-game spinning out of control and everyone else was the pins. He was smacking the shady koopas in their faces, shattering their skulls and sending their bodies flipping towards the floor. After the white clubba killed seven of them, he stopped spinning to keep himself from getting dizzy.

One of the white clubbas clutched his chest after getting shot. He grunted as he fell backwards. The second in command growled; there were only two left now. Mel had just finished stabbing a clubba when he noticed the strong and surprisingly agile white clubba killing all his men. He had to be stopped, and fast. Mel ran over to the white clubba and tried to stab him in the back of the neck, but the white clubba quickly turned around and blocked using his club. The clubba blocked again, grabbing Mel's arm and kicking him in the torso. The white clubba backed away from Mel as he swung his knife erratically, trying to slice up the clubba. Suddenly, the second in command fought back, swinging his big club at Mel. The measly little knife was knocked out of Mel's hand with little effort. Mel rolled out of the way just as the white clubba swung his club down. He picked up a dead clubba's club and the two enemies began to fight each other.

Mel dodged three of the white clubba's attacks before he kicked the white clubba and swung his club at his head. The white clubba ducked, hearing the club whoosh just above his head. He rolled to his right before holding up his club and blocking three attacks. The white clubba hopped in the air as Mel swiped at his feet, and then ducked when Mel tried to knock his head off. The dark koopatrol twirled his club over his head before shouting and trying to slam the club on the white clubba's scalp. The second in command rolled out the way, got back up, and quickly hit Mel in his spiked shell. The impact felt like someone hit him with a car. Mel shouted and fell flat on his stomach. He heard furious roaring from behind and quickly rolled to his left. The white clubba missed him, hitting the floor instead. Mel got back up and picked up a fallen handgun. There was no incentive for him to fight with a club; he'd lose eventually. Mel preferred fighting smart as opposed to fighting fair.

The white clubba anticipated this, and quickly sprinted over to the nearest cover he could find. Mel fired all the bullets from his handgun until he heard it clicking a few times. Frustrated, he tossed the gun aside and picked up the club again. The second in command roared as he charged forward, ready to knock off Mel's head. The dark koopatrol dropped his club and hid in his shell, dropping to the floor. Mel quickly popped out and grabbed the club again. He swiped at the white clubba's feet, but he jumped and avoided getting hit. Realizing that this clubba was preventing him from getting Tubba Blubba, Mel ditched his tactics of fighting fair and decided to fight to win. He dodged one of the clubba's attacks before jerking himself forward and shoving his thumb against the clubba's right eye. He shouted and moved backwards before the white clubba shoved the dark koopatrol away. Thankfully, his eye hadn't been gouged out; Mel's goal was to try and scramble the clubba's brains.

"Fine. We'll play it your way!"

The white clubba found a fallen chain chomp tooth lying on the floor and picked it up. Just as Mel swung his club at the white clubba's head, the white clubba ducked and immediately stabbed Mel in his left kneecap. Mel shouted and dropped his club, falling down and groaning as he grabbed his gashed knee. The white clubba turned around and began to run away. The other white clubba had been killed in the crossfire; there was no point in staying. However, just as Larry, Wendy, and the other clubbas were about to exit the armory, they heard someone cock their gun. Larry looked to his left and saw Green standing beside a Bowser pedestal, with a handgun in his hand. He lifted it slowly and began to point it at Larry and the others. Larry breathed heavily; no one was sure what to do. They knew Green had betrayed them, but not once had he willingly tried to kill any of them. The ninjakoopa pointed his gun at them for a moment before he sighed with frustration and tossed it on the floor.

"Just get out of here!"

"Green—"

"Now!" he barked, interrupting Wendy.

One of the clubbas opened the door, and he and the rest of the clubbas hauled Tubba Blubba's body inside. Shannon had seen what was going on and quickly rushed forward to kill them. He managed to hit one of the clubbas in the shoulder, but he missed Larry, Wendy, Tubba Blubba, and even Tubba Blubba's second in command. They slammed the giant door in their faces and quickly locked it. Shannon shouted with frustration and pounded his fist on the door. All the fighting had stopped; there was no more gunfire, no more incessant shouting and screaming. Team Beta had taken casualties once again, but they were still victorious in this battle. Shannon breathed heavily as he stared at the door, then turned and faced Green.

"What the hell is your problem you imbecile?! You let them get away!"

"Shut the (censored) up, bitch-boy. I didn't have a clear shot!"

Shannon's eye twitched when he heard that embarrassing nickname. "You're lying! I saw you point your gun at them!"

"Your eyesight isn't valid, bitch-boy. You spend so much time sucking Trowzer's fat (censored) that I'm surprised you see anything other than his crotch."

Again, Shannon took the insult hard. He didn't have any witty retort this time around; he just stared at Green with wide eyes. Even worse, some of Mel's troops had heard Green and were snickering to themselves. However, Mel showed up and quickly stopped all the commotion. The tooth was still lodged in his knee; he wasn't gonna take it out until a white magikoopa saw his wound and determined whether or not any veins had been punctured.

"What happened?" he asked.

Shannon was still breathing heavily, offended by Green's comment. "He…he let the enemy get away, sir! I saw him point his gun right at Larry and his sister and he didn't fire!"

Mel blinked and turned to face Green. "Is that true, Green?"

Green nodded. "Yes, I didn't fire, but not because I didn't squeeze the trigger. My gun jammed. I got so frustrated with trying to get it to work that I tossed it aside. By the time I started looking for another weapon, Larry and the others had gotten away."

"HE'S LYING! I'M TELLING YOU, HE STOOD THERE—"

Mel raised his left hand to silence Shannon. "Shannon, please. The adults are talking."

Even Green found himself smirking. He had no idea someone as stoic as Mel could still insult Shannon without even smiling just a little.

"Let's say your gun did jam. What happens if this situation arises again? Can I trust that you'll be able to pull the trigger?"

"…Yes," Green said, reluctantly.

Mel stared at Green and blinked. "You chose to side with us, Green. Sooner or later, you and your brothers need to realize that Bowser and his army is the enemy. They had their chance to join us. They had their chance to prevent all this chaos. But they chose not to side with Trowzer; they didn't team up with the winner. The only way we defeat the enemy is if we kill them, all of them, including your friends who stayed with Bowser's army."

Green nodded slowly. "I understand," he lied, knowing full well he didn't want to be part of this anymore.

"Good. Now then, let's rest here for a moment and get everyone healed before we go after them again."

Shannon was still standing beside the door, breathing heavily and trying to stay under control. A couple of shady koopas purposely bumped into his shoulder as they walked past him, snickering and not even bothering to apologize. One of them even grinned and muttered "bitch-boy" under his breath. The dark koopa growled deeply and gritted his teeth. He didn't know how much more of these insults he could take.


	48. Run Turtle Junk, part 7

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Eddard finds a way to be useful to the Yoshi rebels, Harry and Barry find their way back to Team Beta so they can resume their assault against Bowser's troops, and Morton and Lemmy realize that they can't run from their pursuers forever, and decide to take them all out.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 7)**

Their chase against Tutankoopa proved to be futile. Trowzer and all of his men wound up running straight into a pitch-black room without even a single lit chandelier. Some of the soldiers stopped walking when they realized they couldn't see where they were going. Others grunted or shouted when they bumped into other koopas' shells. Even Trowzer was virtually blind, growling and panting with frustration.

"Where the hell did he go?!" shouted the one-eyed Fire Bro.

Trowzer sighed heavily. "He must've planned this all along. He led us into this room just to ensure that we'd get trapped in here."

"So what do we do now?"

Trowzer shrugged. "Gee, Drazzik, maybe find the light switch?"

Drazzik blinked. "No need to be smarmy…sir."

"Wee hee hee! Someone has come…someone is here in the dark…"

"What the hell was that?! Are there boos in here?!" asked a frightened Black.

Although Trowzer's vision was still bad due to the darkness, he could still make out a floating small light from further down the corridor. Judging by the entity's voice, it wasn't friendly. Just as Trowzer began to approach the light, it suddenly went away.

"…(Censored). Something tells me—"

"OW! Stop bumping into me, Red!" shouted a shady koopa.

"I didn't touch you—" Red screamed when a massive force knocked him to the ground. Whatever the being was, it was using the darkness to its advantage.

"Wee hee hee…no sense in fighting, Trowzer! By the time you find me, hee hee hee, you'll all be consumed with darkness!"

The giant koopa blinked. "This room is full of chandeliers, right?"

Drazzik could already tell where Trowzer was headed with this. "Good idea, sir!"

Drazzik started to random chuck fireballs into the air, hoping that one or two of them would light one of candles sitting in the chandeliers. Trowzer had no time for any of it though. He lifted his head and took a deep breath, the back of his throat filling with fireballs. Trowzer opened his mouth wide and blew hard, unleashing dozens of red and blue fireballs into the air—a skill he picked up from his half-brother. There were so many flames hovering in the air that they lit up the room instantly. Even better, most of the fireballs were falling down onto the chandeliers and lighting the candles. The mysterious entity trying to sabotage Trowzer's men was revealed. He dropped the lantern he was carrying and shrieked with pain. The entity turned around and covered his eyes, whining.

"THE LIGHT! IT BURNS ME! IT'S TOO BRIGHT; I NEED DARKNESS!"

But the darkness wouldn't come. The giant entity continued to whine and cover his eyes before Trowzer and all of his troops finally figured out who he was: Big Lantern Ghost. Trowzer and some of his men stared at the giant ghost, watching as he whined like a child and thrashed about on the floor. Eventually, the ghost stopped moving and turned to look at Trowzer's team. At first he was angry for what they had done to him, but when he saw the sheer amount of troops he was facing, the ghost began to frown. All he could do was stand still as Trowzer grinned, and most of his army pointed their guns at him.

"Oh, shit."

* * *

Harry and Barry panted for a while as they sat down on a nearby crate. The room they were in was littered with bodies; everyone inside had been brutally killed by one or both Yoshi brothers. The red dinosaur looked down at a Hammer Bro. who had been stabbed in the neck and had his eyes gouged out. He whined pathetically as he crawled towards the Yoshis, expecting one of them to patch up his wounds. Harry just pointed a handgun at the wounded koopa's face and blew his brains out.

"That still counts as my kill," said Barry.

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes it does!"

"How is it a kill? He was still alive!"

"I softened him up for you! You really think you would've blown his brains out if it hadn't been for me?!"

"Oh please. I had no problem shooting that guy…or was it that guy?"

Harry and Barry looked at all the bodies in the room before they frowned. "Huh…do you remember your kill count?"

The blue Yoshi shrugged. "I lost count after twelve."

Harry sighed heavily and stood up shortly before picking up his two handguns. "Let's just call it a draw for now. I think I lost count too after twenty-three."

"Deal."

Just as Barry stood up, the duo heard an explosion from above. The blast didn't directly affect the level they were on, but the room did shake a little, and bits of the ceiling started to fall onto the floor.

"(Censored), did they get ambushed again?"

"No, listen!" said Harry.

Harry and Barry looked up at the ceiling and listened carefully. There was a lot of shouting and gunfire from above. Given how loud the commotion was, the brothers were sure that they were directly underneath Team Beta; at the very least they were two levels down.

"Sounds like Team Beta's in trouble again," said Harry.

Barry grinned. "Or maybe Team Beta found Larry and his team again and is dishing out another can of whupass on them."

"Either way they could use our help. We'd better find a way upstairs fast!"

"OH NO YA DON'T!"

The brothers stopped running forward when a very large and fat Sledge Bro. appeared in front of them after hiding behind a wall. The Sledge Bro.'s monstrous appearance didn't faze the brothers though. What they were really concerned about was the giant knife he was carrying. There were machetes Barry had seen that weren't as big as the knife; it could easily cleave them in two.

"There's no way you're gettin' to that door! Hehe, you're gonna have to go through me first! And I doubt that puny little knife of yours is gonna make a dent in me!"

Harry stared at the massive Hammer Bro. and blinked twice. Then he held up the handgun in his right hand and pointed it at the Sledge Bro. He cocked it very slowly before aiming right at the Sledge Bro.'s face. The Sledge Bro.'s eyes grew wide; he let out a small whimper while Harry just groaned.

"Shit. I forgot my knife."

* * *

Trowzer and his troops were finally resting now that they were in a safe and wide-open area. The Big Lantern Ghost was barely recognizable; his corpse had been torn to shreds by all the bullets fired at him. Some of the white magikoopas who had been sitting out on the action were finally put to good use. All of them checked the wounded soldiers' injuries and patched them up before using their magic to heal them. Trowzer and Drazzik were busy thinking about where Team Beta was whilst Red and Black were busy with their own miscellaneous problems. Black was struggling. Even now as he sat down beside his brother, his hands were shaking and his heart was beating fast. The fact he hadn't puked all over himself was a miracle. Then again, Black hadn't killed anyone yet; everytime he used a weapon, it was purely in self-defense. Even then he never actually managed to take another koopa's life. Red on the other hand was in denial. He knew what he had done was wrong; he'd give anything to be back with Bowser's team again. But he forced himself not to think about it…he'd worry about how his life would turn out after this castle was finally conquered.

By chance, Red noticed that he was sitting next to the koopa he offended earlier in the ammo room. He glanced at her before nervously scratching the back of his head. She had a nasty scar on her cheek, but otherwise seemed fine.

"So…uh, that's a big gash you got on your cheek there,"

"It's fine," the koopa snapped.

There was an awkward silence between them. Suddenly, Red took a deep breath and spoke to her again.

"I'm sorry about earlier…the whole lesbian thing I mean."

"Don't worry about it. You're not the first one to accuse me of being one."

"I was thinking though…maybe after this mess is sorted out, we could—"

"No."

"But I was—"

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm about to ask!"

The female koopa scoffed. "I've been around enough koopas like you to know how this all starts. We starting talking, we go out, and then the next thing I know you're busy bragging about how big your (censored) is and why we should bang each other."

"But my (censored) is big! I-I mean, it's huge! Seriously, a Yoshi's (censored) isn't even as big as mine."

Black blinked, stopped shaking, and then slowly turned and faced his brother. "And just _how_ would you know how big a Yoshi's (censored) is?"

Red started to blush. "Err…the Internet told me…"

The female koopa blinked and faced Red. "And just _why_ were you looking that up?"

Now Red was beginning to sweat. "Boredom?"

The awkward response did get Black to smile a bit. Even if he was part of an army that spent its time gunning down his friends, at least he still had Red and Green. Meanwhile, Trowzer was growling to himself and breathing heavily, his left hand formed into a fist.

"Are you sure that's right? We've lost that many troops?"

Drazzik nodded. "That trap sprung on Team Beta really set us back, sir. But surely you must've known we'd have _some_ casualties."

Trowzer swore out loud and slammed his fist against a wall. "Not this many! We've already lost Konley, Benson, Steve—the list goes on, Drazzik!"

"You're thinking too much on the negative, sir. You still have me and Mel and Shannon."

"But Benson's dead. Even if he was a fat bastard, he was one of my top officers. That's not even including Kirzvolitken, who was murdered by Bowser's little runt of a child."

Trowzer huffed again and started to pace back and forth. "This has to go right; do you hear me, Drazzik? I have spent too much time and wasted too many men, and we're only halfway finished! What's the point in ruling this castle—in ruling the world—if my entire army is dead? Do you see the problem here, Drazzik?"

The one-eyed Fire Bro. nodded. "Yes, sir. Look, we'll regroup with Team Beta sooner or later. We've already taken out some of Bowser's chief members, and they have to be running out of men or retreating. Once we're with Team Beta, we'll attack what's left of Bowser's army with full force."

Trowzer stopped pacing and breathed heavily, staring at the Fire Bro. as though he were about to rip his face off.

"This had better work…it _has_ to!"

* * *

Morton stopped running eventually. As beefy as he was, even Morton Koopa Jr. has his limits, especially when he was hauling his unconscious brother over his shoulder. By chance or fate, the koopalings managed to arrive at an abandoned small town. It looked eerily like Western Land; there was even a train track that circled the entire town. Morton didn't care much for the setting, but it was unsettling how a place that used to be so lively was now populated by sand and tumbleweeds. Morton stood at the outskirts of the town and looked left and right. The koopas weren't chasing them, but he knew that the two of them needed to hide, and fast. So Morton grunted and carried the koopaling over to the milk shop a Wiggler used to own. Morton pushed the western-like double-doors forward and stepped inside. Judging by the large amount of dust and cobwebs, not to mention the dank smell in the air, Morton assumed that the shop had been abandoned.

"Seems safe enough. Now to wake up Lemmy."

The brown koopaling set Lemmy down on one of the round tables in the middle of the milk shop. He scratched his head and lowered Lemmy's jaw again, ready to give him mouth-to-mouth. But just as he opened his mouth, he remembered what Lemmy said earlier and decided to wake him up another way. So Morton pinched Lemmy's nostrils shut and waited for Lemmy to respond. The smaller koopaling's body started to twitch, and Lemmy began to snort a few times. He lifted his arms and clawed at the air, almost as if he was having a nightmare where he was drowning. Lemmy snorted two more times before he opened his eyes. Morton quickly let go of his nose, and Lemmy sat up and began to cough.

"What…what the hell was that for?!"

"I was gonna give you mouth-to-mouth, but you told me you don't like smelling my nasty-ass breath when you wake up. Remember?"

Lemmy coughed a few more times before he sighed deeply and looked around the milk shop. "Where are we?"

"Call me crazy, but I think this is Western Land. Guess everyone up and left a few years ago."

"Did you see any of Trowzer's men?"

"No, but given our luck, I wouldn't be surprised if they showed up in the next two…seconds."

Lemmy closed his eyes and rubbed his head, frustrated with the entire ordeal. "We have to kill them. We can't go looking for Ludwig if they're on our tail. Since they think we're dead, they probably only have a small patrol group out looking for us. After we kill them, we'll put some distance between this town; by then they won't know where to look."

"Sounds like…what are you doing?!"

Lemmy sighed a few times before he abruptly started to urinate all over the floor. "What does it look like? I'm peeing on the floor."

"Why?!"

"I haven't peed all day! If we run into Trowzer's groups, chances are I'm gonna get so stressed out that I'll end up pissing my shell. You know that movie _Gladiator_ where that guy pissed his pants before his face got smashed in?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well, if he just used the bathroom _before_ he entered the arena, his trousers would still be dry. The last thing I wanna do is embarrass myself by wetting my shell, so I'm just gonna pee now. You should probably do the same."

"I'm fine, Lemmy. …Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out how we can pee with our shells still on."

"Does it really matter if the author explains to the readers how we use the bathroom?"

"I don't know," said Morton, before taking a very long pause. "_Does it_?"

After a brief moment, Lemmy finished urinating on the floor. And just in time too; Morton's prediction of the patrol finding their position turned out to be true. The brown koopaling walked outside and saw a few headlights in the distance. Four karts had just entered Western Land, with shady koopas in all of them.

"Great. So what now?"

Lemmy huffed. "You gotta take 'em out."

"What?! Why do I have to do all the hard work while you sit on your ass and do nothing?!"

"Are you forgetting that I broke my leg? That I tore my right knee open? Even if I could walk, I won't do anything but slow us down!"

"So what are you gonna do while I'm risking my ass to kill everyone? They're gonna come looking for you too."

"Just…find me a weapon in here. This is a milk shop; I'm sure there's a shotgun or something lying around. I'll hide in the closet or bathroom while you take out the commandos."

* * *

"Any sign of 'em?" asked a shady koopa.

"No, nothing. They're probably hiding in some shack somewhere; there's no way they could've gotten far in the state they're in."

Morton was hiding beside the Koopa Bank that was right in front of the milk shop. He could hear two of the shady koopas talking nearby as they walked through the town, eager to find the two koopalings. The brown koopaling was panting heavily, clutching the knife he procured earlier with both hands. Morton peeked around the corner and swore to himself; the shady koopas were using flashlights. It'd be near impossible to take out one of them without being spotted first. Morton couldn't stop breathing heavily, his heart pumping and his forehead getting sweaty. Morton curiously peeked around the corner again. He immediately regretted his decision, as the shady koopa carrying a flashlight caught a glimpse of his face.

"I think I got him! Stay here while I go check it out!"

Morton swore again and whimpered a few times, his legs shaking. It wasn't until after he felt his crotch growing warm that he looked down and noticed a small yellow puddle was forming on the ground in-between his legs. Morton blushed as he piddled himself very quickly.

"Goddamn you, Lemmy! You just had to (censored) jinx me!" he muttered quietly as he gritted his teeth.

Morton heard the footsteps getting closer. He had no time to waste. He just had to wing it now and attack the shady koopa before he called out to his partner. When Morton saw part of the shady koopa's assault rifle, that's when he attacked. He threw himself forward, tackling the pale koopa to the ground before he even had the chance to get up. Morton quickly stabbed the commando in the throat with his knife, severing a few arteries in the process. The shady koopa gagged and held the wound as blood gushed out everywhere. Morton panted and rolled off his body, taking the handgun he was holding as well. Morton left the shady koopa as he bled out all over the ground before he started to walk forward. He hid beside the bank again before peeking around the corner and finding the other shady koopa walking along the train tracks. Handgun in one hand, knife in the other, Morton breathed slowly as he crept up to the shady koopa. And then the shady koopa turned around and spotted him.

Morton instinctively waved his pistol at the shady koopa and shot him four times, unaware that there was no silencer on the weapon.

"They're over by the tracks!"

Morton yelped and ducked as three shady koopas began to fire at him. Stealth was out of the question now; he was gonna have to do this the old fashioned way. Morton thought about lifting the handgun and firing at the shady koopas erratically, but the last time he did that he wound up wasting his ammo. He needed to be smart or else he'd get killed. The brown koopaling sprinted across the railway tracks until he arrived at the train station not far from the milk shop. Morton shouted and threw himself behind a large train with a very big white mustache on it. The koopaling crouched down and listened as gunfire ricocheted off the locomotive. Suddenly, the train started to cough and splutter, making Morton shout and back away with surprise.

"Whuh…what in tarnation is goin' on?!" said the train.

"Uhhh…you just talked," said Morton in disbelief.

"Of course I did. I am a Steamer, y'know. Isn't it a bit late for you ta be ridin' the train?"

Morton ducked when three bullets whizzed past his head. The koopaling looked straight ahead and saw a shady koopa pointing his assault rifle with a flashlight built onto it at him. The koopaling aimed at the shady koopa and fired three times. The shady koopa shouted and collapsed to the ground.

"Listen to me! I need your help! There's a bunch of guys here trying to kill me; if I don't find cover soon I'm gonna die!"

Two more bullets ricocheted off the Steamer. "I must say, these pesky metal things bouncin' off me are gettin' bothersome."

"So you'll help me kill these guys?"

"I don't care _what_ you do to 'em. Just get 'em to stop throwing those metal balls or whatever they are at me!"

"Good. I need you to start yourself and go forward. Don't stop circling the tracks; just keep going."

"…That's it?"

"Trust me! This is going to work!"

The Steamer would've shrugged if he had shoulders. "If'n you say so. Make sure you're not on the tracks when I'm comin' 'round!"

Morton jumped to the left of the Steamer and crouched down beside the engine. The Steamer blew his whistle and began to release lots of steam out of the funnel. Suddenly, the locomotive started up and began to circle around the tracks. Instead of riding the train, Morton hid beside it, crouching down and running along with the Steamer. Panting, Morton grabbed the dead shady koopa's guns before he quickly returned to hiding. The shooting suddenly stopped; Morton knew that his pursuers had been fooled. He continued to run alongside the train until Morton turned around and realized he was nowhere near the assailants. Morton stopped hiding beside the Steamer and let the locomotive pass so he could run across town and hide beside the abandoned item shop. Meanwhile, Lemmy was still in the milk shop, breathing heavily as he held an old shotgun Morton found at the bar. He was laying in-between two booths, panting quietly as he pointed his shotgun forward. He knew his knee was still bleeding, but there was no time to patch up the wound now. So the koopaling just sat still, holding the shotgun in his shaky hands, waiting for an unlucky shady koopa to show up.

Lemmy heard the milk shop door creak open. He stopped breathing and looked straight ahead as he tried to steady his hands. The shady koopa looked left and right, but didn't find Lemmy because the booth concealed him. So the shady koopa turned to his left and began to walk forward, shining his flashlight at the floor. By the time he spotted part of Lemmy's feet, it was too late. The shady koopa grunted as Lemmy blasted him in the chest with his shotgun, causing his body to fall onto a round table. Lemmy panted and quickly started to move forward; he had to use his hands to slide his body across the floor. Even then, it still caused him a lot of pain.

"IN THERE!"

Lemmy swore and instinctively tipped over a wooden table. The koopaling hid behind it as the shady koopa a few yards away started to fire at him. Lemmy panted as he hurriedly took out the shells and put two new ones inside. Unfortunately, the milk shop owner had a double-barrel shotgun; he had to reload after each use. Lemmy shut his eyes for a moment when bits of wood from the table were shot apart, sending tiny fragments down onto his face. Eventually the shady koopa ran out of bullets and had to reload. As he stepped into the milk shop, Lemmy grunted and leaned backwards, pointing his shotgun at the shady koopa. He fired the gun, but the koopa's flashlight blinded him; Lemmy missed his chest and hit the shady koopa in the knee. The assailant shouted and fell on his shell, erratically firing at the ceiling. Lemmy started to scoot backwards, groaning and wincing as he tried to head for the bathroom. To make matters worse, one of the shady koopa's partners showed up and found him lying on the floor.

"Boss! You all right?!"

"Just shut up and kill him! One of them is in the milk shop!"

"(CENSORED)!" squealed Lemmy.

The koopaling panted as he continued to slide towards the bathroom, praying he'd be able to reload his weapon in time. Elsewhere, Morton had run out in front of the town, still carrying his weapons in his hands as he tried to find a decent hiding spot. The Steamer was nowhere in sight; he had no decent place to take cover in. To his left the koopaling heard an engine getting louder and louder. He saw headlights as a vehicle sharply turned along the road. Morton slowly began to back away as the driver of the vehicle slammed on the gas pedal. Whoever was in the passenger seat was armed with a weapon, and was beginning to shoot at Morton. The reptile had no place to hide; all he could do was shoot at the assailants and hope he didn't miss. Walking backwards, Morton lifted his handgun and fired at the speeding kart twice. The passenger shot at him, barely missing his foot. Morton started to walk faster and fired more bullets. The kart was so close to him that Morton was nearly blinded by the headlights. He shouted and fired the rest of the rounds in the clip before he dove to the right to avoid getting run over. The kart lost control, crashed into the broken-down windmill, and flipped over in the ensuing crash.

Morton slowly got to his feet and watched as the giant windmill slowly fell backwards, landing right on top of the kart with an ear-shattering crash. A giant cloud of sand was created from the crash; wooden planks were scattered all over the place, and the sail became detached from the tower. Once the cloud of sand and dust cleared, Morton coughed a few times and walked over to the wreckage. One of the shady koopa's bodies was buried beneath the rubble. Morton didn't bother looking for the other one; he wasn't too keen on figuring out what shape it was in.

"Drop your guns."

Morton's eyes grew wide. One of the shady koopas found him and had a pistol pointed at the back of his head.

"DROP 'EM!"

Morton huffed and dropped his weapons on the ground.

"Where's your brother?"

"…Can't you just shoot me in the back of the head now and be done with it?"

The shady koopa shook his head. "We don't have time for errors. We've already lost too many men and too many resources because of you two. You tell me where your brother is and this will end painlessly for you."

Morton scoffed and turned around. "What makes you think I'll talk?"

The shady koopa grinned. "You have no idea how easy it is for me to torture someone, how quick I can be."

Morton took a few steps back. "Is that so?"

"Did I say you could move?!"

Morton took a few more steps back and the shady koopa took a few steps forward. Morton began to talk louder. "I doubt you'll get any answers outta me! You and Trowzer's men are smart; find him on your own!"

Now the shady koopa was shouting over the sudden noise. "FINE THEN!"

"OOH, BY THE WAY, YOUR TRAIN'S HERE! BETTER GET ON BEFORE YOU MISS IT!"

"…MY WHAT—AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Morton smirked as he watched the shady koopa fly up in the air until he couldn't see him anymore. The Steamer had circled around the track just in time to reach Morton. It was his plan all along; he was hoping the train would conveniently show up and bump into the koopa, sending him hundreds of feet into the air. The Steamer slowed down at the train station Morton was near before stopping entirely. Morton approached the Steamer, chuckling.

"Whoops! Err, I didn't hit nobody, did I?"

Morton grinned. "Nope! Must've been a tumbleweed. All those koopas have been taken care of; you can go back to sleep now…or do whatever it is you trains do."

"All right! Just holler if'n ya need my services again!"

Morton ran as fast as he could towards the milk shop. His body was still sore from all the injuries, and Morton found himself slowing down as he got closer to the shop. Morton found the wounded shady koopa lying on the floor of the shop and kicked his weapon away before he got any bright ideas. Then a loud gunshot was heard. Morton's blood ran cold and he whimpered softly to himself. Using all the strength he could muster, Morton ran to the back of the shop where he heard the shot. Morton opened up the bathroom door and immediately backed away when a shady koopa's body fell down at his feet. Morton blinked and looked at the toilet. Lemmy was sitting up against it, breathing heavily and still carrying the shotgun.

"What? You didn't think they'd kill me _that_ easily, did you?"

Morton exhaled with relief. "Good. I think they're all dead besides that one with a (censored) up knee."

"That's good. Maybe he knows where Ludwig is."

Morton picked up Lemmy and hauled him over to the booth beside the entrance. He set Lemmy down on the floor beside the booth while Morton picked up the shady koopa's handgun and pointed it at him. The wounded koopa stopped clutching his bleeding knee and glanced over at the koopalings.

"I'll die before I talk!"

Morton huffed. "Great, now we _have_ to sit here and figure out a way to torture you."

"Why not just let him bleed to death? I hit his kneecap; I'm surprised his leg wasn't blasted in two," said Lemmy.

"We could burn him."

"You still got that knife? If you do, then just start chopping off his fingers."

"Maybe I should torture him with my nasty-ass breath?"

"Will you please get over that?!"

Lemmy huffed with frustration, and the koopalings remained quiet for a while. Then Morton's eyes grew wide and a devious smile appeared on his face.

"Pinecones!"

Lemmy blinked. "What?"

"We'll torture him with pinecones! That's sure to work!"

The shady koopa laughed and coughed up blood. "You fools. How can you _possibly_ interrogate me with pinecones?"

Morton looked down at the shady koopa and started to grin eerily at him. The shady koopa stared at Morton, thought for a moment, and then began to frown.

"Oh God."

* * *

Larry and Wendy were exhausted. Both of them had spent all their time carrying Tubba Blubba to safety, hoping that the giant clubba didn't lose too much blood. He passed out for a moment or two, but eventually woke back up once the group stopped inside a large corridor that had two exits. One involved a spiral staircase that led to a long walkway outside the castle, and the other was an indoor exit that was a straight shot to the adjacent tower that was part of the castle. Tubba Blubba was grunting as he sat against the wall, leaning over to grab some of the shrooms the group was keeping as rations. The clubba grabbed three super shrooms and shoveled them all into his mouth.

"That's enough," said Wendy, irritated at the clubba's voracious appetite.

Tubba Blubba swallowed hard and began to pant. "You…you haven't been shot as many times as I have…I need these."

"You don't need them _all_, Tubba Blubba! Save some for the rest of us in case we get injured!" said a white magikoopa.

The clubba laughed weakly. "…You can heal yourself. Stop whining."

"Hey, Larry! Can I see you for a moment?"

Larry looked across the room and saw the white clubba who fought Mel earlier standing near the corner with his arms folded. He walked over to him and started to talk.

"What is it?"

The white clubba sighed. "I think we should start evacuating. Our armies—"

"Are you siding with that (censored) coward now?!"

"That 'coward' is my leader. I'd die alongside him if need be."

"Just a few minutes ago you said you wanted to stay here!"

"I also said I wanted to help you koopalings. And that's what I'm doing. If we lose the castle, then fine, we lose the castle. But if your father and all of you koopalings are killed, then there's no hope for rebuilding this army. If we retreat now, we can find more allies—tougher allies who are more prone to these kinds of situations—and together, we can retake this castle. But if you koopalings stay here and get yourselves killed, then what's the point in fighting anymore?"

Larry stared at the white clubba, obviously moved his logic. Even if it seemed cowardice, it was also smart. Larry and some of the others knew they were fighting a losing battle. Many of their troops had been killed or were scattered throughout the castle. Some of them had already retreated, and several others were on Trowzer's side now.

"Maybe you're right. But even so, we still have to—"

Larry jumped when a shot rang out. The white magikoopa who had been talking to Tubba Blubba had been shot in the face. Everyone looked behind them and could see that Team Beta had snuck into the room. At that point, the entire area was filled with incessant screaming, shouting, and gunfire. The white clubba picked up his handy club again while Larry and Wendy were busy covering the troops so they could get to safety. Tubba Blubba's clubbas picked up their wounded commander again and began to carry him out through the indoor exit. Meanwhile, Larry put a chain chomp tooth in his slingshot and fired at Mel. The dark koopatrol quickly side-stepped him and the tooth wound up hitting the koopatrol standing behind him. The white clubba standing beside Larry shouted when someone shot him in the left hand. He dropped his club, grasping the wound on his big hand. Meanwhile, one of the dark koopatrol's had a perfect shot at Larry and decided to take it. The white clubba could see that Larry didn't notice and was about to get shot.

"NO!"

The white clubba ran towards Larry and shoved him to the floor. Then he shouted when the dark koopatrol hit him instead several times in the chest and abdomen. The white clubba fell backwards and groaned as he started to bleed profusely. Larry used another chain chomp tooth to fling it at the dark koopatrol who just shot the clubba, hitting him in the throat. Not thinking clearly, Larry ran forward and picked up the submachine gun his foe was holding. He looked up at the giant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and began to shoot at the chains. Many of the troops stopped firing and looked up. Those quick enough to jump out the way lived, but several others noticed the chandeliers too late and were crushed beneath them. Using all the adrenaline he could muster, Larry picked up the white clubba's club before picking up the white clubba and getting him to his feet.

"C'mon, we have to get out of here now!"

The white clubba could only groan as a response, clearly too wounded to say much of anything. Somehow, he managed to drag his feet across the floor and up the stairs as he leaned on Larry's body. Mel's forces were still shocked by the sudden chandelier attack and were still recovering from it when they noticed that Larry was gone. Mel groaned and slowly got off the floor before he smacked his hand against the left side of his head to get some debris out his ears. Just as the dark koopatrol lifted his gun, the side door burst open, revealing two demented Yoshi brothers.

"Sup bitches?" asked Barry.

Mel blinked. "Well…glad to know you two are all right. What took you so long?"

Harry shrugged. "Got lost here and there. Plus Barry was having too much fun gutting Hammer Bros. Did we miss anything?"

"No, we're right on Larry and Wendy's tails. Gather up all the soldiers still alive and follow me. We might get them if we hurry."

* * *

Larry was still hauling a wheezing and bleeding white clubba through a narrow corridor at the top of the staircase. Realizing nothing more could be done, the white clubba hacked and collapsed to the floor.

"Damnit, don't you dare give up now!"

The white clubba coughed up blood before he sat up and pressed his back against the wall. He started to breathe heavily, feeling more blood oozing out of his wounds.

"Larry…look at me. I'm dead already."

"Don't say—"

"You…you and your sister need to realize—" the white clubba stopped so he could cough up more blood. "—that…you can't save everyone. I told you…I want to help you koopalings…that's why I pushed you out the way."

Larry stared at the white clubba as his breathing became labored. "You have to live…my life's not as important as yours. You _have_ to live, Larry. You or one of your siblings. If you—" The white clubba leaned forward and coughed up blood all over the floor in-between his legs. "If you all die, then all of this would've been for _nothing_. Do you hear me?"

Larry blinked a few times, forcing himself to hold back the tears forming in his eyes. The white clubba sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Sometimes…you have to make a sacrifice in order to protect someone…or something…you care about most. And I can't bear knowing that I died…letting this army get torn apart…"

Larry looked at the staircase and heard loud footsteps. The koopaling sighed heavily and handed the submachine gun he stole to the white clubba. But to his surprise, he shook his head and pushed it aside.

"No…all I need is this," he said, reaching out for his club.

The white clubba grabbed his weapon and grunted as he slowly got to his feet. "Go…I'll hold 'em off…as long as I can."

"…Thank you."

Larry slowly turned around and began to walk away, trying his best not to sniffle or cry. As he opened the door leading outside to the walkway, the white clubba finally got on his feet and held his club firmly in his hands. He started to grin very slowly.

"Come on…let's see how many of you I can take with me…"

* * *

Larry was on the walkway now, regrouped with the rest of the soldiers who went up the stairs. Everyone who wasn't trying to catch their breath or checking themselves for any bullet wounds was looking around for the white clubba.

"What happened to that white clubba who was with you?" asked Murray.

Larry lowered his head and exhaled. "He didn't make it."

Larry couldn't see Murray's face, but he heard the terrapin swear out loud and punch part of the wall on the adjacent tower.

"We're dropping like goddamn flies and that animal behind all this has only gotten a few scratches!"

"We'll mourn him later, Murray," started Wendy. "Right now we have to regroup with Tubba Blubba and his gang before they get ambushed."

The terrapin removed his fists and breathed deeply beneath his helmet. "…Fine. Let's just go."

Larry lifted his head and slowly approached Murray. "Um…can-can I talk to you for a moment?"

"What about?"

"…Your wife."

Murray blinked beneath his helmet. "She's dead, Larry. I don't want to talk about that now…"

"Well, um…I may have…"

Murray turned around and faced Larry. "You may have what?"

Larry swallowed hard. "I, uh…she…she might still be alive…if it wasn't for me."

Murray growled gutturally and started to approach Larry. "What the (censored) did you do?"

Larry whimpered and began to back away. "N-Nothing! I-I mean that literally—I didn't do anything! She was running behind me and-and we were being chased; I ran into a room and-and Trowzer's men were still chasing us—"

"GET ON WITH IT!"

"I…she was right behind me…she was still being chased, Murray. But I was scared…I didn't think I could save both of us. So when I got into that room, I slammed the door in her face and locked it. And then this blue Yoshi carrying a shotgun came along…I'm sorry, Murray."

Larry was surprised his right eye socket didn't shatter. The koopaling shouted after Murray punched him; he fell flat on his spiky shell. Murray roared and threw himself on top of Larry, at which point he started to punch him over and over again in the face with his fists.

"YOU LET MY WIFE DIE YOU PIECE OF (CENSORED)! YOU LET HER DIE!"

The others could see the commotion going on and quickly rushed over to pry the armor-covered koopa off Larry.

"No! Get the (censored) off me!"

Murray elbowed a red magikoopa in the nose and punched a Hammer Bro. in the face. Then he shouted ferociously and leaped on Larry again, shouting and swearing as he nearly bashed Larry's face in. Murray was so hell-bent on beating Larry to death that it took seven different koopas to pry him off his body. Everyone grabbed him by the arms and dragged him along the walkway, while Murray thrashed his legs around, swearing Larry's name.

"YOU LET MY WIFE DIE YOU PIECE OF (CENSORED)! YOU (CENSORED) COWARD! GAAH—LET GO OF ME! MY WIFE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH! SHE'S DEAD BECAUSE OF _YOU_, LARRY!"

Wendy just watched as the koopas hauled the distraught terrapin away, his vengeful shouts getting quieter and quieter and he was dragged further away. The female koopaling turned and faced her brother, who had rolled over and was laying face-down on the walkway. Larry couldn't hold back his sorrow anymore. He shut his eyes and began to sob, feeling hot tears coming out of his eyes. Murray was right. He _did_ let her die. All he had to do was grab her hand and yank her inside. But he was too afraid, too concerned about saving his own life instead of someone else's. Larry started to cry out loud; the mere sight of Larry in his hopeless state was beginning to affect Wendy. Instead of telling Larry to suck it up or to get past it and lead the group, she just sat down beside him and coddled him, like a mother caring for its young. Larry continued to cry as he placed his head against Wendy's chest, glad that someone still cared about him.

Maybe the white clubba was right…maybe it _was_ time to cut and run.

* * *

The shady koopa was whimpering and breathing heavily, still being tortured by Morton and Lemmy. The brown koopaling snickered and let go of the pinecone, thinking it was in deep enough.

"So…what do you think, Lemmy? Should I find another cone?"

Lemmy shook his head. "Nah. Anymore and we're gonna rupture something and he's gonna die."

"PLEASE! …Please, stop, I'm begging you!"

"Then tell us where our brother is!"

"I-I-I told you: I don't know! I don't have access to that kind of infor—ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! (CENSORED)!"

Morton put down the pinecone. "Well?"

The shady koopa panted four times. "Fahr…Fahr Outpost. Yeah, th-that's it! I heard some guys talking—they said…they said something about making it…an accident! They were gonna give him poison, toss his body out in Fahr Outpost and say he froze to death or-or something! Fahr Outpost…he-he-he's probably there!"

Lemmy blinked before nonchalantly saying, "Thank you." Two seconds later, he pointed his shotgun as the shady koopa's head and fired. Morton shouted and veered his head backwards to avoid getting any blood or brain or skull fragments on his face. Lemmy put down the shotgun and exhaled.

"Good. So now we know where to look."

"And now we got enough weapons to defend ourselves," said Morton.

"…Pretty sure he's got a cell phone or something on him. Check his shell and see."

Morton bent down and dug through the dead shady koopa's shell. Much to his surprise, he did have a cell phone, and keys to one of the karts outside.

"Holy crap, this thing actually works too!"

"Take out the battery."

"What? Why? I wanna call—"

"No phone calls. They can track us that way; I saw it in a TV show. We only call when we absolutely have to."

"…Damn, they can track us that way? Thanks for the heads-up, Lem."

"No problem. Now get us outta here before some other patrol unit finds us."

"Do you _really_ think—"

"Don't jinx us! Just pick me up so we can go!"

Morton figured it was best not to push their luck, given everything they've been through. He bent down and grunted as he hauled Lemmy over his right shoulder. Then Morton walked out of the milk shop and headed over to the parked kart the shady koopa had been driving. They finally had a lead on their brother.

* * *

"So…we rush them, snap their necks, take their guns and blow up the ammo dump?" suggested Tallard.

Bosley shook his head. "No, that's too risky. One of them might fire off a round by mistake."

"Guys?"

"We don't have any other option, Bosley. It's not like we have sniper rifles; we can't just pick 'em off from a distance."

"Guys?"

Geno rubbed his chin. "Perhaps we could pretend to take one of you prisoner. I could offer one of you to the shady koopas and tell them that I'm a mercenary who showed up because I heard they needed help."

"I doubt that'll work. Don't these guys know what you look like by now?" asked Bosley.

"GUYS!"

Tallard huffed. "What, kid?"

"Why don't you let me draw them away from the ammo dump? Then while they're gone I'll blow up the place before they return."

"I told you, Ned, I'm not putting you in harm's way."

"The fact that I am still on this island means I'm in harm's way. Don't you guys _want_ me to help you? If I was any other kid, I'd be crying or asking for my mommy or contributing absolutely _nothing_ to the group. I actually want to do something helpful and no one's letting me do it!"

Tallard stared at Eddard for a moment. "Just how do you plan on distracting them?"

"Tallard—"

"Shut up, Bosley. The kid may be on to something here."

"There's a bunch of trees overshadowing the ammo dump and I got a slingshot. All I gotta do is shoot a few rocks at their heads and I'm sure they'll leave the ammo dump to investigate. While they're doing that, I'll just hop from tree to tree until I'm away from them, slide down the tree, run into the ammo dump, and destroy it."

"What if they see you?" asked Bosley.

Eddard shrugged. "I'm covered in dragon poop. Even if they do see me, I doubt they'll come close to me once they notice the smell. If all else fails, I could just…play dead I suppose."

"And you're absolutely sure you can do this? Climbing tall trees and all that?" asked Geno.

"Tch! If Connor can do it, then so can I!"

And with that, Eddard left the group and began to creep forward towards the trees near the ammo dump. Bosley scratched his head in confusion as he watched Ned walk away.

"Who the hell's Connor?"

Eddard stayed in the long grass, quietly walking through it while crouching at the same time. There were only two koopas guarding the ammo dump, and both of them looked pretty tired. Eddard stopped moving when one of them coughed and the other looked to his left and right. The Yoshi picked up several pebbles he found on the ground before he stood near a tree and started to climb it. He grunted and pulled himself up as he traveled from branch to branch. The Yoshi climbed until he was almost completely concealed by the canopy. Ned clutched his slingshot and placed a pebble inside it before he took aim at one of the shady koopas and fired. The pebble bounced right off the shady koopa's skull, causing him to grunt and clutch his head.

"The hell…?"

The guard standing beside him shouted when something hard hit him on the neck. "Are there bees on this island!?"

"Of course there are bees, genius. But I don't—OW!"

The other guard shouted again when Eddard clocked him in the head a second time. The guard stopped rubbing the wound and pointed his flashlight over by the trees. Eddard quickly disappeared and jumped to another tree.

"Hey! Who's there?!"

The two guards curiously walked away from the ammo dump and stood in front of the tree. They pointed their flashlights and guns at the canopy, but Eddard was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, another pebble hit one of the guards just below the earhole. He shouted again moments before his partner was hit in the nose.

"Damnit! I know you're up there! Come down now and maybe we'll just take you prisoner!"

But Eddard didn't listen. He just shot two more pebbles at the shady koopas. Bosley and the others watched as the shady koopas disappeared into the forest, completely concealed by all the thick trees. They waited for a while to see when Eddard would reappear; there wasn't any shouting coming from the guards anymore. Either they were too far away from the ammo dump or they caught Eddard. It wasn't until thirty seconds later that Tallard looked to the right of the ammo dump and saw a few leaves fall to the ground. Suddenly, a mysterious yellow figure began to climb down a tree very slowly before he planted his feet on the ground.

"Well then. Guess that kid's useful after all," said Tallard.

"He's not a kid," said Bosley.

Ned quickly opened up the ammo dump's door and walked inside. It was more of a very large shack than a building; the place was only big enough for a few people to sleep in. The place reeked of gunpowder and had all sorts of weapons, ammo, and boxes filled with one or the other placed around the shack. Eddard scratched his head and looked around. He had no bombs with him, so he was just gonna have to use something within the dump to blow it up. Eddard noticed blocks of C4, but he didn't dare touch it; he didn't know how to use it, and Ned had a feeling he'd end up blowing himself up if he tried to. However, there was an open crate of grenades lying on one of the shelves. Ned took one of the grenades out of the slots and looked at the weapon.

"All right…this shouldn't be hard. I just pull this out—"

What Ned didn't know was that it was very easy to pull out the pin in a grenade. Ned just lightly tugged on it and the pin slid out. He was so shocked by how suddenly he removed it that he accidentally dropped the grenade on the floor. Eddard stared at the fallen grenade with wide eyes.

"CRAP!"

He tossed the pin aside and sprinted out of the ammo dump. When he was only a few feet away from the group, the grenade exploded. It set off a chain reaction in the dump, causing all the other grenades and other volatile weapons to explode as well. The door was blown right off its hinges, and fiery pieces of the shack were sent flying into the air. The inside of the ammo dump was nothing but flames and charred equipment. The bullets inside the dump started to go off, sounding like firecrackers exploding nonstop.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

The two shady koopas returned to the ammo dump to find it in ruins. They couldn't even get inside without worrying about getting hit by one of the bullets. One of the guards took out his radio and alerted a nearby team that there was an intruder in the area. The other guard started to look for the intruder, checking the trees and long patches of grass.

"Hehe, well done, Ned!" said Bosley.

"We'll congratulate you later. Right now we need to relocate before they find us," said Geno.

The heroes quickly backed away from the scene, making sure to be as quiet as possible. When they were far enough, they turned around and began to sprint from the area, leaving virtually no trace of their presence.

* * *

Marcus and Dracolin made an amazing discovery. They had found a village where several rebels and a handful of Yoshi kids were hiding, preparing themselves in case the enemy showed up. But judging by the small amount of weapons they spotted, it seemed like only a few Yoshis were experienced enough to defend themselves. A majority of them looked like they were the parents of the smaller Yoshis.

"Well now, how did you find all this?" asked Marcus.

Dracolin snickered. "I decided to stop patrolling the skies for a while. No point in looking for rebels if I'm constantly casting a shadow on the ground; once the rebels see it, they'll hide before I can land and get to 'em. So I walked around for a while, heard the sounds of some kids chattering, and the next thing I know, I'm staring at some populated village next to the beach. I sure am glad there's a lot of trees overlooking the village; it'd be hard for me to hide otherwise."

"There doesn't seem to be many rebels down there."

"No, but I recognize some of those kids. I was guarding them earlier; someone must've freed them."

"…Maybe the vigilante causing us so much trouble is one of the kids' parents."

Dracolin grinned widely. "Maybe the vigilante is in that village right now."

Marcus grinned slowly, a rare thing for a stoic shady koopa like him to do. He stood up and nonchalantly began to back away.

"You have a valid point. …I suppose I shall be going now. Don't want to get in the way and ruin all your fun."

Dracolin turned and stared at the grinning shady koopa. After a brief moment, he started to walk away. The yellow dragon growled deeply and began to approach the village, still concealed by all the trees. Meanwhile, the pink Yoshi that had been captured alongside Ned was busy looking for intruders. It wasn't necessarily a hard job or even a dangerous one; the older Yoshis clearly told her to alert them if she saw anything suspicious. So when the Yoshi heard the trees rustling a few feet away from her, she naturally walked towards them to investigate. Due to how big some of the bushes and trees were and all the leaves surrounding them, it was hard for her to see anything up ahead. She stepped closer to the trees and bushes and stopped. Someone or something was breathing heavily and causing some of the leaves to move. A bad smell entered the Yoshi's nostrils, almost enough to make her gag. She thought it was only a wild animal, perhaps a chain chomp or a really big putrid piranha. But then the entity decided to reveal itself and jumped out of the bushes and trees with a loud thud. The pink Yoshi shouted and fell backwards as Dracolin stepped towards her, grinning menacingly.

"Hello little girl!" he growled.

The pink Yoshi whimpered as she slowly began to crawl backwards.

"Remember me?"


	49. Run Turtle Junk, part 8

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Two koopatrols named Deacon and Jerry run into trouble while escorting Peach to safety, and Hooktail finally realizes just how heartless Dracolin really is.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 8)**

**A/N: I'm seriously starting to wonder if I should change the rating of this story to "M" given all the recent violence. Then again, **_**Redwall**_** is a book series about cute little woodland critters running around hacking each other to bits. And the age recommendation is for ten-year-olds. …Guess I should be fine then. Regardless, I'm just gonna put up a warning that there's a disturbing gore scene towards the end of the chapter. You'll understand when you get there.**

In the midst of all the chaos going on in the castle, two koopatrols were busy trying to escort Princess Peach to safety. The bumbling guard Jerry and another koopatrol named Deacon were walking in front of her and trying to ignore all the destruction around them. But it was hard for the reptiles to disregard how many bodies they found lying on the floor, corpses of koopas they worked with just a few days ago. Deacon wasn't exactly happy about his job, in large part because he felt like it was useless. The taller of the two koopatrols shook his head and grimaced when he stepped over a Hammer Bro.'s headless cadaver.

"Is there a point to any of this?" asked Deacon.

Jerry blinked. "It's senseless violence, Deacon…guess we should've seen this coming a while ago."

"I'm not talking about all these bodies! I mean us! Why the hell are we walking around escorting some bitch in a pink dress to safety?!"

Peach blinked. "I'm standing right here, in case you've forgotten."

"I know where the hell you are. Think about it, Jerry. Does this make _any_ sense whatsoever?! Two random guards who are likely to die in the next paragraph are assigned to run all the way through this castle just to save some bitch who's of no value to us? Don't you think we should be with Bowser's troops holding the fort down?"

Jerry shrugged. "This is what Bowser wants. Obviously the princess is important to him somehow. Or maybe he actually cares for her well-being?"

"Oh please! Of course you'd defend him; he let you spend the last several days rubbing his giant smelly feet."

"That-that has nothing to do with anything!"

"Sure it don't. Neither does the fact that I caught you smelling Black's shoes that one time."

"I dropped a coin in there; I was trying to fish it out!"

"With your _nose_?"

The yellow star floating near Peach blinked. "I don't mean to intrude, but we are in a dangerous situation here! What if someone ambushes us out of the blue because we're standing here arguing? Even if you don't want to escort the princess to safety, don't you guys wanna get outta here yourselves?"

Deacon scoffed. "Shut up. Why are you even _in_ this story?! You've done nothing at all but fly around and run your mouth! You're so forgettable and useless that no one even cares that you're clearly visible and hovering right near Peach's head! Have you done anything at all to assist the heroes' on their adventure?"

"I…I delivered messages to Mario—"

"Whoop-de-(censored)-doo. You said 'go this way' or 'go that way' and then you left. Good job. Go pat yourself on the back for how (censored) useless you've been this entire fanfic."

Twink started to frown and shut his eyes, looking like he was about to cry. Peach, however, would not stand by and let the koopatrol insult her and Twink.

"Shut up! Twink is the only reason why I've managed to stay sane while I've been locked up here! So stop insulting him and insulting me and just keep going before we run into trouble!"

"Tch! Ooh, I made the useless bitch angry. Whatcha gonna do: get kidnapped by Bowser again? Jesus, what have you done—"

"What have _you_ done to make a difference or to help out?! What have you done besides stand here and whine and complain about how much you hate your job?! You wanna know how useless _you_ are? No one even knew who you were until the author posted your name in the summary of this chapter! No one ever mentioned your name, what you've done, what your job is, what your personality is—you were just some faceless koopatrol who didn't matter whatsoever! And all you've done so far is stand there bitching about how useless you think Twink and I are! Even if people think we are useless, at least people know _who_ we are; what the hell have you done other that bitch about how much your job sucks?! Did you ever think that maybe, just _maybe_, you're the one who's useless and you're trying to take it out on us?"

Deacon just stared at the princess with wide eyes as he breathed heavily. He didn't know whether or not he should hit her or shut his mouth for the rest of the journey, because part of him knew she was partly right. Deacon blinked and turned to Jerry for an answer, who had just been standing idly by as the princess blatantly insulted him.

"Don't look at me. I was busy daydreaming about Bowser's big smelly feet. That's all I care about, according to you. Remember?"

Deacon huffed loudly and turned around, refusing to look at the princess or Jerry. He knew that the princess was partially, if not mostly right about everything she said about him. But there was no way he'd admit that to either of them. The tall koopatrol just grumbled to himself and started to walk forward.

"Just…everyone follow me. I'll get you out of here," muttered Deacon.

Peach, Jerry and Twink began to follow the verbally abusive koopatrol, making sure to ignore all of the corpses they encountered in the oversized corridor. What the four members didn't know was that some of Trowzer's men were observing the gang from another hallway on the level right above them. There were windows overlooking the corridor Peach and everyone else was walking in, and all of the dark koopas had their guns pointed at them through the windows. Before Deacon and everyone else could reach the door leading to another hall, Trowzer's troops broke the windows with their guns and jumped down. Deacon and Jerry hid in their shells while Peach took cover behind a Bowser pedestal so they could dodge the falling glass shards. Once all the dark koopas landed, they quickly got to their feet and pointed their guns at the group.

"Get your hands in the air!" shouted the leader of the dark koopas.

Twink blinked. "I don't have hands."

"Just shut up and do what I say!"

Twink lifted what were considered hands and stood beside Deacon and Jerry. One of the dark koopas nudged Peach all the way towards the two koopatrols so all four of them were grouped together. They had no way to escape; all of them were trapped, enclosed inside a circle of dark koopas. Peach glanced over at Deacon and huffed.

"See? If you had just shut your mouth—"

"Shut the (censored) up," muttered Deacon.

"So boss…why haven't we killed 'em yet?" asked a dark koopa.

The leader of the dark koopas walked towards Peach and grinned. "I think after all this mess has been situated, Trowzer will want some sort of prize for all his hard work, dont'cha think?"

"What do you mean by prize?" asked Twink.

"What do you _think_ he means by prize?" asked Deacon.

Jerry slowly glanced over at the leader of the dark koopas and growled. "Don't you dare lay a finger on her."

Jerry grunted when the leader smacked the butt of his gun into his stomach. Jerry coughed a few times before he fell to his knees. The leader grinned and pointed his assault rifle in his face.

"Or what? What's two bumbling idiots and some floating star gonna do to us?"

Some of the dark koopas laughed at their leader's comment; their boss promptly poked Jerry in the head with the barrel of his rifle. Jerry slowly turned his head and stared at the weapon, noticing how close it was to his face. The leader of the dark koopas turned his head for only a few seconds, but it was all Jerry needed. Jerry quickly snapped at the dark koopa, grabbing the end of the assault rifle before rushing forward and punching him in the gut. Then he immediately got behind the leader, wrapped one arm around his throat, and used his free hand to fire the assault rifle. It all happened so fast that everyone was confused and too slow to react. Three dark koopas shouted as they were fired upon; the remaining dark koopas pointed their guns at Jerry and tried to kill him. Instead, they wound up shooting their boss in the chest. Jerry tossed the dark koopa's body down before hiding in his shell and performing a Power Shell move. One of the dark koopa's was hit in the legs; he shouted and fell forward, dropping his handgun in the process. It went off by accident and ended up hitting the dark koopa standing near Deacon in the face.

While all this was going on, Peach decided to take a risk and attacked one of the dark koopa's too. She shouted and shoved one of them through a door, which led the two of them into an abandoned kitchen. Both of them crashed into a table, which collapsed under their weight and sent certain dishes and silverware flying. The dark koopa quickly lifted his hand and punched Peach in the face, knocking her off of him. He rolled over to get off his shell and stood up before Peach could attack again. But as he turned around, Peach threw a blue bowl at his face. The dark koopa shouted when the bowl shattered and left a nasty cut on his forehead. The princess approached the dark koopa and slapped him twice, but during the third slap, the dark koopa grabbed her arm and punched her in the face again. Peach grunted and moved backwards a little, just moments before the dark koopa shouted with frustration and grabbed Peach's throat with both hands. The princess yelped as the dark koopa shoved her forward; they knocked over other dishware and stepped on broken pieces of the table. The dark koopa pinned her against the sink and oven and began to choke her violently.

Princess Peach gagged twice and tried to pry his hands away, but he was far too strong for her. She lifted her right hand and tried to scratch at his face, but it didn't faze him. He was choking her so much that her face nearly changed colors. Peach gagged twice before she moved her hands along the sink and oven, hoping to find some sort of weapon. She grabbed a dirty glass and shut her eyes as she slammed it across the dark koopa's head. He shouted in pain and let go, swearing to himself as his head began to bleed. Peach coughed a couple of times and massaged her throat before remembering that her hostile was still alive and well. She glanced over at the oven and noticed a frying pan was lying on top of the stove. Peach grabbed the pan and shouted as she slammed it against the dark koopa's head. He didn't even scream or swear with pain. His ears rang, and then the dark koopa mumbled something as he wobbly walked around the kitchen. Peach grunted again as she bonked the pan on the assailant's skull. Disoriented and suffering from severe brain damage and head trauma, the dark koopa lazily fell to his knees as more blood slid down his head.

Then Peach shouted and slammed the pan across his head so hard that his body went flying. She swung the pan like it was a golf club and the dark koopa's head was the tiny ball. His body slammed into a bunch of cabinets; immense clatter was heard as the cabinets shattered beneath the dark koopa's body. Peach turned and shielded her eyes to prevent any chunks of wood from getting in her eye. Once the noise stopped, a panting Peach looked at the dead dark koopa's body. She rubbed her neck and coughed a few more times before hearing a gunshot back in the corridor. Twink and the other koopatrols needed help. …Or so she thought. When she ran back into the hallway, she noticed that Jerry was the one who had fired the gun. She also noticed that Jerry seemed to be doing just fine against Trowzer's goons. Jerry broke one dark koopa's arm before snatching the gun from him and pointing it at one of Trowzer's troops. A dark koopa shouted as he was shot four times; another dark koopa knocked the gun out of Jerry's hand and tried to slash his throat with a knife. Jerry weaved backwards before making a fist and punching the dark koopa in the throat so hard he crushed his windpipe.

"DAMN!" exclaimed Deacon.

The dark koopa let out a disturbing coughing and choking sound before he collapsed onto his shell, dead. Jerry punched one of the last two dark koopa's in the nose, breaking it. Then he flipped his body over and pressed his armored shoe on his throat. The dark koopa gagged and tried to break free, but after Jerry pressed down hard enough, there was a loud snap, and the dark koopa's body went limp. The final dark koopa pointed his handgun at Jerry, ready to fire. Peach, seeing no other option, threw her frying pan at the koopa's head and hit him. He shouted as the heavy object bounced off his head and made his ears ring. Jerry quickly turned around and spotted the dark koopa. Before he had time to get over his dizziness, Jerry bent over and charged into the dark koopa by using his Spiky Headbutt attack. The dark koopa shouted as the spike on the top of Jerry's helmet pierced his abdomen. It felt like he had just been stabbed with a dagger, and the force of the blow sent the dark koopa slamming into the wall. Jerry stood straight up and panted as he looked at the reptile's body. Then he turned around and looked all over the hallway. All the assailants were dead as far as he could tell.

"How does an idiot like you know all that kung-fu bull(censored)?!" asked Deacon.

Jerry panted and wiped some sweat off his forehead. "Maybe you should stop seeing me as a guy who obsesses over feet and see me as a badass who can kill you just by punching you in the throat."

"Well, at least I can count on you," said Peach, before she went over and picked up the frying pan.

Jerry shrugged. "I didn't even see that guy behind me. You saved my life."

"I'm fine, by the way!" said Twink.

"Of course you're fine. You were hiding behind that pedestal the entire time," Deacon pointed out.

"Let's not start that (censored) again. We need to get out of here now; I'm sure someone heard all this commotion. Follow me!"

Jerry turned around, opened up a door, and ran inside the room. He slammed the door behind him, leaving Peach, Deacon, and Twink in the hallway. A few seconds later, Jerry came out the room and shut the door again.

"Okay, so that door leads to the bathroom. Maybe we should try that one…"

* * *

After five tries, Jerry finally found the door that would lead everyone to the castle's exit. The only problem was that the corridor they were currently standing in seemed to be guarded by snipers. Like the previous room, there were walkways above the hallway on the left and right side with windows overlooking the area. Peach and the others were standing beside the door and crouching down behind a Bowser pedestal. Jerry peeked around the corner of the pedestal and stared at the hallway. There were already bodies lying around of shy guys and Hammer Bros. who tried to escape earlier. Lucky for them, all the snipers seemed to have laser sightings on their weapons, so the group could see where most of the snipers were aiming.

"So what's the plan now, genius?" asked Deacon.

Jerry analyzed the hallway again before he sighed heavily and shook his head. "If we can get to that door up ahead, we'll be nearly there. That door leads to a spiral staircase which leads all the way down to Bowser's lava-filled armory. From that point on, it should be a straight-shot to the exit. Maybe Bowser or one of his troops left a spare clown car we could use."

"So all we gotta do is get by this hallway, and then we'll be free?" asked Peach.

"Not entirely. Neither of us knows what condition the armory's in; Trowzer's reinforcements could be stationed down there. But at this point, we just have to risk it."

"So how are we gonna get past this corridor? Even if we had those weapons the dark koopas were using, we don't know where the enemies in this room are."

Jerry shrugged. "Guess we gotta make a run for it."

"Are you serious, Jerry?!"

"You got a better idea? It's not hard; we run into the hallway and run around in zigzag formation. Just make sure you don't stop running or else they'll have a straight shot at your head. If we keep moving, at least we'll reduce our chances of getting shot."

"I suppose there's no other way, is there?" asked Twink.

"Doesn't seem like it," said Peach.

"We gotta do this fast. When I say 'go,' everyone get up and run like hell. And make sure you run in a zigzag formation; if you run straight across, you're dead. You guys ready?"

Peach and Deacon started to breathe heavily as they peeked around the pedestal. The princess nodded.

"Ready."

"Ready," said Deacon.

Jerry stared at the laser sightings moving around in the hallway. He breathed heavily twice before finally standing up and shouting out "GO!" The other three members followed Jerry as he started to sprint through the hallway. The moment all four of them revealed themselves, one of the snipers fired. The bullet ricocheted off part of a Bowser pedestal, but no one was injured. Peach and Deacon took Jerry's advice, running as fast as they could in a zigzag fashion, hoping the tactic would be enough. One sniper fired and hit the floor right behind Deacon. Another sniper fired and narrowly missed Peach's crown. Jerry shouted when he nearly tripped over a shy guy's corpse; he staggered for a moment and slowed down. Two snipers tried to fire at him, but he quickly picked up the pace and resumed sprinting. Peach ran past Deacon and arrived near a pedestal. She thought about hiding, but remembered what Jerry said about them all moving. Besides, she knew the snipers on the other end of the hall would see her. Meanwhile, Jerry looked down at the side of his shell and noticed a laser was pointed at him. The koopatrol ran towards a Bowser pedestal and shouted as he jumped into the air and hurled himself over the object.

The sniper missed Jerry and hit the pedestal instead, clipping off part of Bowser's face. The four of them were nearly at the door now; just a few more seconds and they'd be free. However, Deacon became overconfident when he realized how close they were to safety. Instead of zigzagging like Jerry advised, he decided to run straight for the door. Unsurprisingly, the tall koopatrol was shot in the shoulder by one of the snipers. Deacon shouted and swore out loud before he collapsed to his knees, grasping his wounded shoulder. Peach, being the kind individual that she was, saw the wounded koopatrol and quickly hauled him back to his feet before another sniper could get him. Jerry finally reached the door with Bowser's ugly mug on it. He immediately pulled it open and threw himself into the staircase. Peach quickly ran with Deacon, and the two of them (along with Twink) reached the staircase in time and slammed the door behind them. Knowing they were probably being chased, none of them stopped running. They panted as they ran down the spiral staircase, the air becoming much warmer as they reached the bottom.

When they finally got to the ground level, Jerry pushed open a set of red double-doors. Peach and Twink were immediately blasted with the intense heat of the armory. Lava was flowing all over the place; they could hear it bubbling and rumbling as it simmered within the room. Thankfully, Bowser was smart enough to have built a walkway within the lava for everyone to safely walk on. Peach, Twink and Deacon entered the armory; Jerry shut the door and exhaled before he looked at everyone else.

"You guys all right?"

"No, I'm not (censored) all right, Jerry! One of those bastards shot me!"

Deacon groaned with frustration before he sat down near a metal crate and held his bleeding shoulder. Peach blinked and glanced at the wound on his arm.

"Let me see it."

Deacon shoved the princess away. "I don't need your (censored) help."

Jerry ignored him and shook his head. "We'll worry about your wound later then. Since we're all fine and since the exit is straight ahead, we may as well keep going until we're clear of this castle. Then we can fly to some Toad Inn and rest and get everyone patched up there."

Deacon groaned and slowly got to his feet. "Is that what your plan is: just fly off to some hospital or inn while dragging this frilly bitch and her annoying and useless star around?"

"Do you have a better idea?!"

"Yeah. Let's just go our own separate ways. Seeing as how she 'saved' both of us, it's clear that we don't need to protect her anymore. That frying pan should be good enough."

"You're just using that as an excuse to get rid of me," Peach said.

Deacon chuckled and grinned. "You're damn straight I am! Look at us, Peach! How long do you think we have until one of us or both of us dies trying to protect you? The clumsy guards always get killed; the blonde-haired bitch that's destined to survive always lives. Well, screw all of that! I'm not gonna stand here and wait to get killed like the rest of those koopas we saw! Our life expectancy is much higher if we're on our own, Jerry, and you know it!"

"So you think you got this whole concept figured out. Is that it?"

Deacon nodded. "Exactly. I'm smart enough to know who lives and who dies in these situations. I'm smart enough to know that since the author gave us names and is fixating over half of this chapter on us that he's at least kind enough to keep us alive for at least four more chapters, maybe the whole damn story if we're lucky. And that's good, because there's no way in hell I'm putting myself in danger any longer; I'm not taking any more risks. The only way I could die now was if some bridge magically fell from—"

A shady koopa who had been hiding in the armory stood up and shot Deacon in the chest. He groaned and fell back on his shell, dead. Peach quickly turned around and saw the pale-skinned koopa. She grunted and hurled her frying pan at the koopa's head, cracking his skull and knocking him out. The frying pan clattered to the floor noisily; Peach quickly went over to retrieve it again. Meanwhile, Jerry stared at the tall koopatrol's body.

"I'm sorry, Jerry. I know he was your friend—"

"No, he wasn't," Jerry quickly said.

"Oh. …Well, I'm sure you guys worked well toge—"

"No, we didn't. Let's go."

As Jerry started to walk away, Peach stammered and looked at Jerry and Deacon's body.

"I—hold on—WAIT! Don't you want to say something or have some small funeral?"

"Nope."

"…But what about his body? Don't you at least—"

"Leave it. He was an asshole."

At that point Peach gave up. Maybe Deacon didn't deserve to die, but after all the horrible things he said to her and Twink, Peach knew no one would really miss him.

* * *

The red dragon started snickering. "Smells like you guys ran into Dracolin."

"Um, no…not exactly," said Tallard.

"Then why are you covered in dragon dung?"

Eddard sighed. "Bosley said we had to smear it on ourselves so Dracolin doesn't find us again. When we freed those rebels, Dracolin showed up and nearly recaptured us."

Kooper closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Seriously, I'm getting tired of all these goddamn poop jokes."

"It's not a joke!" protested Bosley. "We're taking this seriously! The only reason why we have this stuff smeared—"

As Bosley was busy explaining why everyone had dung on them, the group heard loud rustling in a bush nearby. Everyone who was armed pointed their weapons at the bush, ready to gun down the shady koopa who was eavesdropping on their conversation.

"You're outnumbered! Come out now and maybe we'll let you live!"

"…Tallard?"

The orange Yoshi pointing his gun at the bush lowered his gun and relaxed. "It's okay guys, it's just Denny. You can come out."

A rare black Yoshi poked his head out of the bushes and quickly stepped in front of the group, panting. "All right, I was walking, and—of course I was walking; I don't have wings or anything—and I heard some guys talking through a radio. I couldn't make out too much—low voices, some static and all that. I don't understand why the bad guys don't make walkie-talkies with speakerphones or speakers built into them. Then everyone in the area—"

"Get on with it, Denny," said a female red Yoshi.

"Right, sorry. Anyway, um, I heard those shady koopas talking about villages and stuff. I…I might be wrong, but I think they let that yellow dragon loose on one of the villages near the beach."

Eddard started to frown. "The village right beside a cave used for shelter during heavy storms?"

"Yeah, that village! It's got a bunch of huts—"

"That's my village! Isn't that where you took my friends after you rescued us?"

Hooktail nodded. "Sounds about right."

"We'd better get over there—"

"No," said Hooktail firmly.

"What do you mean 'no'?! All my friends are there; my mom could be there too for all I know!"

Hooktail huffed. "That's not what I mean, kid."

"I'M NOT—" Eddard sighed with exasperation. "Screw it; I don't care anymore. Now's not the time to worry about what you call me."

"As I was saying," continued Hooktail, "I need to go down there by myself. If I'm not too late, maybe I can prevent Dracolin from making the situation worse. If I bring all you guys with me, he'll know something's wrong."

"How do we know you'll be able to talk him down?" asked Geno.

"Hey, I managed to keep that kid alive, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I had to go in your disgusting mouth in the process."

Hooktail snorted. "Stop whining. Now if we're done talking, I need to go. Any longer and it'll be too late."

"But—"

Hooktail didn't listen. The red dragon flapped her wings and slowly began to hover in mid-air. A few moments later, she took off and began to soar through the sky as fast as she could. Kooper just shook his head.

"That dragon had better not betray us," he growled.

"Hooktail isn't Blaze, Kooper. She may be a bit of an instigator, but we can trust her," said Geno.

"I hope so."

* * *

Hooktail continued to fly through the skies until she wrinkled her nose and scowled slightly. She could already smell the smoke and she wasn't even close to the village yet. Hooktail went faster, trying her best not to inhale too deeply due to the smoke that had filled the air. By the time she finally reached the village, she knew she was too late. She could see that two fires had broken out, and many of the huts had already been burned to the ground. When Hooktail was close enough, she landed on the beach and began to run around the village, trying to see if anyone was still alive. But all she found were charred corpses and huts that were nothing more than piles of burnt sticks not even suitable for kindling. Hooktail tried her best to ignore all the bodies she saw and focused more of trying to find any survivors. Lucky for her, she found a blue Yoshi trying to pull a light blue Yoshi out from underneath a burning hut. Hooktail bumped the blue Yoshi out the way with her nose and turned around, showing off her hook-like tail.

"Grab my tail! I'll pull you out!"

The light blue Yoshi panted. "No! I'd rather burn to death than become a meal to one of you dragons!"

"I'm not like the yellow dragon! Just hurry up and grab my goddamn tail!"

The light blue Yoshi was reluctant, but when he noticed his tail starting to burn, he didn't hesitate to reach forward and grab part of Hooktail's tail. Hooktail took a few steps forward and pulled the light blue Yoshi from the rubble with ease. The Yoshi shouted when a fiery wooden board scraped along his back, but other than that, his injuries weren't serious. The blue Yoshi quickly rushed to the light blue one and started to tend to his wounds.

"Where's the kids?! Did the other dragon—"

"No, no. We told 'em to hide further down the beach! I think they're still fine, but you better hurry!"

Hooktail started to run across the beach, kicking up sand each time her heavy feet slammed into the ground. She ran through a series of bushes before hearing someone scream from far away. Hooktail looked further down the beach and could see Dracolin chasing after the Yoshi children. He was tormenting them; the dragon was blowing small fireballs at them like he was about to burn them to death. All the kids regrouped with each other and began to back away from Dracolin, unsure of what to do. The yellow dragon growled and began to approach them slowly. Hooktail had seen enough. She broke out into a sprint again and began to chase after Dracolin. All the children screamed and turned around so they could run towards the cave Eddard mentioned.

"Where ya goin' kids?! Dont'cha wanna play with good ole Uncle Dracolin?!"

Hooktail was almost there. But Dracolin was sprinting after the kids as well, eager to corner them inside the cave. One kid looked like he was slowing down; Dracolin snapped at him, almost biting him in half. But another Yoshi kid grabbed his arm and yanked him forward, and both of them began to sprint together. Hooktail was yards away from the dragons—feet even. All she had to do was grab his tail and pull him back and the kids would be fine. And then everything went wrong. One of the kids was running so fast that she didn't notice some of the huckit crab shells resting in the sand. She stepped on one of them and tripped, landing face-first in the sand. She whimpered and quickly rolled over, only to realize with great horror that Dracolin was standing over her with a nasty grin on his face. The pink Yoshi kid shrieked as Dracolin lifted his right front foot, and then slammed it down right on top of her body. Hooktail stopped running just as she was two feet away from him. She had seen what happened and heard a muffled crunch and squish as his foot came down.

"GOTCHA!" snarled Dracolin.

Hooktail felt paralyzed. All she could do was watch as Dracolin growled and grinned, looking down at his foot and the Yoshi kid lying underneath it—or what was left of her, anyway. Hooktail noticed blood seeping out from beneath his foot and forced herself not to gag. The yellow dragon snickered and moved his foot back and forth, smearing the mess around his sole and toes. He flicked his head backwards and suddenly realized Hooktail was there.

"Oh! Heh, kinda snuck up on me there, didn't ya?"

Hooktail didn't respond. She just stared at Dracolin's foot. The yellow dragon looked down at his foot too and blinked.

"Oh, this? Hehe, just some kid trying to run away from me. Guess she wasn't fast enough, eh?"

Hooktail still didn't say anything. She merely blinked and watched as Dracolin wiggled his toes. Then he growled eerily again and continued to smear the crimson around his foot.

"Mmm, just love that feeling! All that warm blood with the bones and crushed organs mixed in…plus all those kids have fresh organs, you know! Makes it sound so much better when they pop from too much pressure!"

Hooktail actually retched and shut her mouth when she felt bile coming up her throat.

"Wouldn't you agree, Hooktail? Dont'cha just love crushing people and having all that blood smeared on your soles and toes?"

Hooktail closed her eyes, trying her best not to vomit. "…What happened to the other kids?" she asked softly.

Dracolin looked forward and frowned. "Damn! Guess they must've gotten away from me. Ah well, it's not like they have anywhere to go. I'm sure I cornered them off in that cave over there. …Care to join me?"

"Join you with what?"

Dracolin's stomach growled quietly. "All this running around has made me hungry! And there's nothing better than munching on a bunch of small Yoshis…"

"We need them alive, Dracolin. Trowzer—"

"Oh who gives a (censored) what he says?! We're dragons; we need to eat! He's not gonna care about a handful of kids anyway! Don't worry; I'll save you a Yoshi or two."

Dracolin headed for the cave before Hooktail could say anything else. The red dragon blinked and took a few steps forward. She looked down at the bloody mess left in the sand and shut her eyes. Hooktail knew she had done some evil things in the past, but she had never flattened a child as some sick form of pleasure. The dragon gritted her teeth and blinked away a few tears, still remembering that a bunch of other Yoshis were alive and well. And they were about to be killed by Dracolin for no reason. It was right then that Hooktail realized she didn't care if her cover was intact. She didn't care if all the shady koopas on the island knew she really wasn't working for them. All that mattered was Dracolin. He needed to be stopped.

* * *

Dracolin found all the kids with ease. All of them were bunched up in a corner of the cave, whimpering, sniffling or sobbing, hoping that the big evil dragon would go away. Dracolin stepped so close to them that the kids could feel him snorting on them.

"Yessss…so many of you delicious children! No one's here to protect you now, not even that bothersome yellow mongrel! I'm gonna have so much fun crunching on your bodies!"

"We're…we're not scared of you!" said Ferore, the young green Yoshi who looked up to Eddard.

Dracolin growled. "You really should be, child."

Dracolin glanced at the crowd of Yoshi kids and saw a blue one looking left and right, his face covered in tears.

"Oh! Looking for your little pink friend? I'm sorry to tell you this, but I crushed her!"

"…W-what?"

Dracolin laughed. "That's right! Crushed her! Smashed her! Turned her bones into dust! There's nothing left of her but a pile of blood in the sand! Oh, you should've been there—you kids should've heard how loud she screamed before I killed her!"

The blue Yoshi predictably burst out in tears and collapsed to the cave floor. Dracolin just laughed heartily, obviously enjoying all the torture he was putting the young dinosaurs through.

"You're a monster!"

Dracolin grinned widely. "And proud of it. Now, let's not wait another second! …I think I'll eat you first!"

The kids shouted and scooted backwards as far as they could when Dracolin opened his mouth. If it hadn't been for Hooktail showing up, one of them would be in his maw right now.

"DRACOLIN!"

The yellow reptile shut his mouth and turned around. Hooktail was standing a few feet away from him, and visibly shaking.

"Ah, just in time! Sorry, but I already called the chubby one!"

"Don't you dare touch those children!"

"…And why shouldn't I?"

"Because I (censored) said so! You've gone too far, Dracolin! I'm not gonna stand here and let you eat those kids!"

Dracolin's grin faded. He growled deeply and walked up to Hooktail's face. The dragon was so close to her that she could smell his foul breath when he spoke.

"You didn't eat that Yoshi did you? You're not on Trowzer's side at all, are you?"

"No, I didn't, and no, I'm not. Now get your ass out of this cave!"

Dracolin stepped even closer to her, so close that their big noses were touching. "Make me get out," he snarled.

The yellow dragon turned around, whacking Hooktail in the face with his tail as he did so. Then he began to approach the kids again. Hooktail gritted her teeth and finally lost it.

"DRACOLIN! GET OUT OF THIS CAVE NOW!"

Dracolin scoffed. "_Make. Me._"

"Dracolin…leave this cave now…and I won't kill you."

Dracolin exhaled. "I grow tired of your annoying voice. Once I've filled my stomach, I'll make sure I take great pleasure in ripping your throat out!"

This couldn't go on any longer. Hooktail had to stop this. Dracolin opened his mouth again, ready to eat one of the kids. Hooktail snarled, opened her mouth, and bit down hard on Dracolin's tail. The dragon shouted as Hooktail dragged his body backwards and slammed him against the cave wall. Dracolin stared at the snorting red dragon and snarled. Then both dragons roared and started to fight each other. Hooktail didn't care about anything else anymore. She couldn't let this sadist live for another minute.

Dracolin had to die.


	50. Run Turtle Junk, part 9

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Some of Bowser's troops begin to flee from the castle; Shannon loses it after being constantly berated by some of Trowzer's soldiers; Hooktail finally fights Dracolin, determined to end the dragon's atrocious ways.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 9)**

**A/N: Throwing in another gore warning here for the sake of giving all you guys a heads up. This might be the last warning though, so I'll just warn you in advance that there's probably gonna be more bloody stuff in future chapters.**

Ferore and the other Yoshi kids made sure to stay back from everything. Dracolin and Hooktail were fighting out of their field of vision, but they could still see their shadows on the cave wall. All the kids were whimpering or shielding their eyes, waiting for all the madness to cease. The dragons were roaring and snarling at each other, clawing and biting each other viciously. One or two of the kids tried to see what was going on, but she didn't dare get close to the action. All they could do was watch the shadows and hope that the red dragon would come out alive. Hooktail got bitten on her leg and yowled from all the pain. Moments later, Dracolin slammed the dragon into the cave wall, causing the area to shake. All the kids covered their eyes as dust and rocks fell, but once the shaking stopped, their eyes were open again. The kids heard Dracolin laugh evilly moments before he yowled in pain. There was a lot of tussling and biting going on, followed by a disturbing crunch. Dracolin shouted again before he attacked the red dragon and slammed her against the wall again. There was a loud thud, and part of Dracolin's tail landed in front of the Yoshi kids.

Dracolin yelped when Hooktail dragged him away from the kids again. Ferore and the few kids still watching the shadows on the wall saw one dragon bite another on the leg. The dragon must've bitten down hard, because a loud crunch followed afterwards and the dragon collapsed. Judging by the deep voice, the kids guessed it was Dracolin who had been bitten. The yellow dragon panted and tried to attack Hooktail again, but she side-stepped him and bit down on his hide. Dracolin shouted and swore at the red dragon, still trying to figure out how she could've become this strong. There was another seismic thud; one of the dragons slammed their head against the wall and collapsed. Dracolin was on the cave floor, breathing heavily and bleeding from various areas of his body. Ferore and some of the other kids looked at the shadow and saw Hooktail flip Dracolin's body over, exposing his underbelly and throat. Hooktail placed her claws on Dracolin's torso and ran them down his scales, tearing open his belly. All the Yoshi kids—Ferore included—shut their eyes or covered their ears when the cave was filled with nightmarish screaming. Everyone was glad that they could only see the shadow of the fight; if Hooktail and Dracolin had been fighting directly in front of them, they would've seen Hooktail disemboweling Dracolin.

The screaming went on and on; Hooktail looked down at the pathetic yellow dragon thrashing around and wondered if she should just leave him there to die. But Hooktail wasn't as cruel as Dracolin; even though every inch of her was perfectly fine with letting the dragon die from exsanguination, she felt it was only necessary to cease the monster's terrible screams. One of the kids slowly opened one eye and looked at the shadow on the wall. The red dragon snarled and bit down at Dracolin's neck. Dracolin started to scream more and more as she dug his teeth into his flesh and began to pull hard. Dracolin's screams suddenly became muffled and gurgled, as though he were drowning or choking on his own blood. There was a strident crunch and gushing sound that was so revolting one of the Yoshi kids who hadn't covered his ears gagged. Blood splattered against the cave wall, and then all the screaming stopped. Hooktail breathed heavily for a moment before she spat out a chunk of Dracolin's throat. She stared at the yellow dragon's mangled corpse and exhaled harshly. The murderous dragon was finally gone.

The kids were still shaking and covering their ears, pressed up against the cave's wall. Hooktail waited a long moment before she finally began to walk. Ferore and another kid noticed a pool of blood oozing across the floor from where the fight was taking place, but no one bothered peeking around the corner to see what had happened. Hooktail slowly walked over to the group of kids again, still breathing heavily. But the kids were still visibly upset and backed away from her.

"…You don't need to be frightened," she said quietly.

The blue Yoshi who was concerned about the pink Yoshi Dracolin had crushed was still on the floor crying. "No! Just go away and leave us alone!"

Hooktail looked down at the claws on her right foot and noticed they were covered in blood. She didn't even realize that blood was dripping from her chin and was all over her teeth.

"I'm not going—"

"Save it…we all heard what you did to that other dragon," said Katy, the red Yoshi Eddard knew.

Hooktail closed her eyes and lowered her head. "I just…I had to do it. He couldn't live for another moment; you have to realize that. I was just protecting you."

"So the mean monster is gone now? He-he won't be scaring us again?" asked Ferore.

Hooktail shook her head. "No. Now I need all of you to get on my back, all right? It's obviously not safe for you here; I need to fly you somewhere more secure."

The red dragon turned around and lied on her stomach so the kids could climb onto her back. But all of them were still reluctant and didn't move.

"How do we know we can trust you?" asked Katy.

"I guess you don't. But if it hadn't been for me, Dracolin would be eating all of you right now. I don't expect any of you to like me, but I'm trying to help you. If you don't want my help, then I'll leave."

The kids were still scared of Hooktail and her power, but she did stop Dracolin, and she didn't seem eager to eat any of them. Besides, none of them wanted to spend the rest of their time stuck in a cave with a mutilated dragon's corpse. So all of them gradually climbed onto Hooktail's back. The dragon stood back up and began to walk out of the cave.

"I want all of you to close your eyes until we get outside," said Hooktail.

"Why?" asked Ferore.

"Because I said so," she answered, a bit more harshly than she intended.

The kids didn't want to make the dragon angry, so they shut their eyes until they were outside and could hear the waves crashing against the beach. Everyone slowly opened their eyes and relaxed a little bit. Hooktail made sure to take them away from all the charred bodies she ran into on her way to the cave and let them jump off and land in the sand.

"I need you guys to stay here until I get back. Can you do that?" asked Hooktail.

"Where are you going?" asked Katy.

The dragon blinked. "There's…something I need to do first."

Hooktail reentered the cave, hoping none of the kids would follow her inside. She walked over towards Dracolin's mangled body and stared down at it with disgust. She thought about spitting on it or messing with the exposed organs, but that wasn't fitting, especially given how disgusting Dracolin was. As she looked at the dragon's head, his mouth partially open and the eyes half-closed, Hooktail figured out the proper message she could send to anyone who found his corpse. The dragon turned around and backed up towards the corpse before she squatted down, her posterior just a few inches above his head. Hooktail gritted her teeth and farted a few times. She grunted twice before she finally defecated on the dead dragon's face. The dragon exhaled and stood back up, using her left hind foot to kick dirt onto Dracolin's body.

"Hmph. Not so funny now, is it?"

Considering all the disgusting jokes Dracolin played on her, she knew it was only fitting if she had the last laugh. The dragon walked out of the cave and returned to the Yoshi kids.

"Do any of you know a safe place I can take you?" asked Hooktail.

Katy nodded. "Monkeys' Favorite Lake. Eddard and I would hang out there a lot; no one seems to know about it besides us Yoshis and the monkeys."

"Okay. I'll give you a lift there then."

The Yoshi kids climbed onto Hooktail's back and held on tight as she took flight. Most of the kids were still distraught over what Dracolin had done, but there was nothing they could do about it. Now wasn't the time for mourning, especially with the island still occupied. They'd grieve over the victims once they were safely at the lake.

* * *

Some of Bowser's troops had given up. The group that Larry was currently leading was slowly but surely getting smaller and smaller with each attack from Trowzer's army. Most of their chief members were either dead or missing, and after the incident between Murray and Larry, many members were starting to lose all hope. Larry seemed to be dragging his feet across the floor, unable to be the proper leader that his troops wanted him to be. The blue-haired koopaling pushed open a set of double-doors leading into another atrium and led the group into the center of the area.

"We'll stop here and rest," said Larry, more softly than usual.

Murray scoffed noisily, but he didn't say anything. The rest of Wendy and Larry's army healed most of their wounds and did another body count, checking to see who was still alive. Tubba Blubba was finally well enough to stand up on his own, but he still limped occasionally when he walked. Larry and Wendy leaned against one of the walls before the male koopaling started to mull over everything that had happened, over what that white clubba said moments before he left him in that staircase. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he shook his head.

"We can't win," Larry said, as if the words were physically hurting him.

"Hmm?" Wendy was busy thinking on her own too.

"We have to retreat. If we stay here, we won't accomplish anything; we'll only put more troops in harm's way."

Wendy scoffed. "I'm surprised at you, Larry! After all the bad situations we've gotten ourselves out of—"

"Stop letting your pride get in the way of your logic. Just think, Wendy. _Think_. Look around you and then tell me with a straight face that we have even a slight chance at stopping Trowzer from taking over this castle."

The female koopaling blinked and looked around the atrium, noticing how few troops they still had left. The only high-ranking members still alive in the atrium were Tubba Blubba and Murray, neither of whom seemed fit to keep up this hellacious battle.

"…There's still Junior, General Guy and his army; we still don't even know where Wario and Roy are. They might—"

"Wendy, stop. …Just stop."

The female koopaling wanted to punch Larry in the face or call him a coward, but deep down she knew he was right. She couldn't even muster the strength to give Larry a snarky remark. She just exhaled and leaned against the wall beside her brother.

"Maybe you're right, bro. But we can't—"

"Sir, I think it's time for you and the others to leave. We've rested here long enough," said a clubba.

Larry blinked. "What do you mean 'you and the others'?"

"Well…given the circumstances, we can't keep running away from Trowzer at this pace; they'll catch us. So I think it's best if Tubba Blubba and the rest of us clubbas stay here and push them back a little."

"Hold on, hold on, when did I decide this?!" asked Tubba Blubba, who heard the conversation.

The clubba sighed. "What else can we do, sir? This castle's lost; we might as well try to save as many as we can instead of leading them to slaughter with false hope."

"But why do _we_, specifically _I_, have to stay behind?!" whined Tubba Blubba.

Larry huffed and shook his head. He moved away from the wall and stood in the middle of the atrium so he could address everyone again.

"All right, it's time we start moving again. I know…this won't be easy for any of you to hear, but…we don't have any more options. We have to retreat; we can't win this battle."

As expected, there were a lot of surprised gasps and quiet murmuring in the background. Some of the soldiers lowered their heads, already coming to that conclusion a while ago. Murray folded his arms and scoffed beneath his helmet.

"Of course we're retreating. The best thing you do is run away, Larry," said Murray.

Larry didn't respond, in large part because he thought Murray was right.

"Shut up, Murray. We don't need this right now," said a magikoopa.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were a (censored) idiot. Did you not remember what Larry did to me?! How he left my wife to be slaughtered?!"

"Yes, we know. But playing the blame-game isn't going to bring her back and it isn't going to make you feel better. So stop bitching. You know if you were in Larry's shoes and his sister was standing outside the door, you would've slammed it in her face too."

"No, I wouldn't have. I'm better than all of you cowards. I don't leave men behind; I don't let my best friends or their loved ones die!"

Wendy walked over to Murray and turned him around. Then she shoved him forward, causing him to grunt.

"Fine. You're a big, brave man. Trowzer and his gang are still coming for us; he's somewhere through that door we used to get in here. Since we're all cowards, I guess you'll have no problem facing them head-on. So go on, shoo. I'm sure your ego and that armor you're wearing will protect you."

Murray turned around and looked at Larry and Wendy. Then he looked at the door again and started to breathe heavily beneath his helmet. The terrapin made his right hand into a fist before he growled to himself. Murray unclenched his fist, turned around, and walked away from the door.

"That's what I thought," said Wendy.

Larry faced the rest of his troops and said, "Everyone, follow me! We're gonna find the rest of the survivors and get out of here!"

"Shut up, Larry."

Larry didn't bother saying anything to Murray. He just looked down at the floor dejectedly. Wendy flashed an angry glare at Murray before telling everyone else, "Let's go. Tubba Blubba and his group will stay behind and fend off Trowzer's gang."

"But-but wait! Can't we have a vote on this or something?!"

"You're only slowing them down, sir. It's probably best if you stay here anyway," said a clubba.

"But—"

No one was listening. All the other troops were walking up a set of stairs and out of the atrium. All that mattered now was getting everyone home unharmed.

* * *

Trowzer and his army were making good progress. They hadn't run into any of Bowser's chief members since they killed Big Lantern Ghost with ease. The only enemies they did run into were small groups of koopatrols or Hammer Bros., all of whom were taken out with no effort. Drazzik was being Trowzer's second in command with Shannon no longer there, but the giant koopa seemed to be acting different. Drazzik could see that Trowzer was gradually getting angrier as time went on. He was walking faster, panting audibly, and nearly stomping on the floor. The one-eyed Fire Bro. blinked and moved back a little, hoping that the blue-shelled behemoth wouldn't abruptly snap at him. Meanwhile, Black and Red weren't walking side by side through the corridors. Both of them were chatting with a female koopa they made acquaintances with during the assault. Red was still talking to the koopa he mistook for a lesbian, while Black was walking next to a red-shelled koopa troopa with rosy cheeks.

"This has certainly been a crappy night, hasn't it?" asked the koopa troopa.

Black shut his eyes and sighed. "If I had known it'd get this bad—"

"I know. I just feel like rewinding this whole story too."

Black turned and faced the koopa troopa. "Oh, I remember you now. You're Shelley, that chick who used to be one of Bowser's koopatrols."

Shelley nodded. "I got tired of standing around guarding doors and cells, so I went back to being a regular koopa troopa. At least we get sent all over the kingdom looking for Mario and aren't holed up in one spot."

"Right. I think my brother talked about you."

"Which one?"

"The one who got so nervous when he tried to ask you out on a date that he threw up on you."

Shelley remembered instantly and grimaced. "Yellow."

Black nodded. "Yes…Yellow…"

Shelley looked at Black's sullen face and could tell that memories of his late brother were starting to flood his mind again. Red and Green had seemingly gotten past Yellow's death, but everytime someone mentioned him around Black, he was always the one who took it hard.

"I'm sorry."

Black shook his head and huffed. "What happened to us, Shelley? When did this story get so dark and depressing? What happened to the good ole days when this story was filled with randomness and comedy and a bunch of unnecessary and tiresome fart jokes?"

Shelley shrugged. "I honestly don't know. At this point I'd rather be stuck in a bathroom with a bunch of dragons with chronic diarrhea than having to deal with all this death and shooting."

Black smirked a little. "I don't know. Those dragons know how to make a mess. You seriously wanna be caught up in that?"

Shelley was beginning to smirk too. "Good point."

Elsewhere, Trowzer's radio was beginning to create a lot of static. He took it out of his shell and began to speak to the koopa on the other line.

"What is it?"

"Sir, where exactly is your team? We're almost on the same level you said your army was traveling on. I think we're getting close to you."

Trowzer started to grin after hearing Mel's voice. "Is that so? I suppose we should just wait here then and let you come to us. We're in one of the corridors not far from the atrium that leads to the elevated skyway. You know where that is, don't you?"

"Yeah, we're actually right under you then. Stay put until we get there; I know of a staircase that leads to you guys."

"Copy that. EVERYONE! WE'RE GONNA TAKE ANOTHER BREATHER!"

Most of the troops exhaled with relief. They hadn't stopped walking ever since they killed the Big Lantern Ghost. Shelley and Black continued to talk to each other while Trowzer laughed evilly to himself and sat down near one of the pedestals. Drazzik was about to approach Trowzer until he heard the giant koopa giggle like a child.

"I'm coming for you, brother…hehehe, that's right. You've been running this show for far too long; it's time for someone better to step in, brother! Hehe, and that's me…I'll show you brother. I'll show you that I'm better than you when I wring that fat neck of yours! I'll show you that you can never be as good as me!"

Trowzer's mood suddenly changed. He began to grind his claws against the floor, growling to himself and snorting like a bull.

"You won't stop me—no! I'm faster and stronger than you—you know that. I've spent too much time doing all of this to be defeated now! You won't stop me…nothing will stand in my way! This is my night, Bowser. This will be the night I kill you. Do you hear me? Tonight's the night—"

"Sir?"

Trowzer glanced up and noticed that Drazzik was standing in front of him. He quickly stood up and wiped off some of the drool coming out of his mouth before he started to breathe heavily. The oversized koopa looked down at the Fire Bro. and grinned widely.

"What is it, Drazzik?"

The one-eyed Fore Bro. stared at Trowzer's evil grin and his burning red eyes beaming down on him. Drazzik noticed that Trowzer was breathing heavily and trying to force himself not to snort. Given that he just caught Trowzer talking to himself, Drazzik figured it was best if he didn't bother him.

"Uh…nothing."

As Drazzik began to walk away, Trowzer firmly planted his left hand on Drazzik's right shoulder. Drazzik grunted; it felt like someone put a cinderblock on his shoulder. Trowzer stepped dangerously close to Drazzik. The Fire Bro. looked up at him and realized just how short he was compared to the mighty beast.

"If you didn't want anything, then why did you come upon me?"

Drazzik swallowed hard. He knew how unpredictable Trowzer was in these situations. He had to choose his words carefully or else he'd end up getting his head lopped off.

"Sir…ever since we took out Big Lantern Ghost…I feel as though you're not stable."

"Stable, huh?"

Drazzik nodded. "Yes, sir. That wasn't the first time I caught you talking to yourself. You seem angrier than usual; you're distant from the troops."

Trowzer started to walk towards Drazzik. The Fire Bro. instinctively moved backwards until he was backed up against a wall.

"Are you saying I'm insane, Drazzik? Hmm? Is that it?"

Drazzik shook his head. "No, sir, of course not. But I feel as though this obsession over beating your brother is getting to your head and causing you to think erratically."

Trowzer exhaled heavily and patted the Fire Bro.'s helmet. He chuckled softly, but he still continued to grin and look down at Drazzik like he was about to slash his throat.

"You wanna know why I like you, Drazzik? Because you're honest with me. You don't get on your knees and kiss my ass if I instruct you to. Shannon's not like you. Don't get me wrong; I like having a pathetic sidekick who says 'yes' to everything I say and agrees with me all the time. But it takes guts to be brutally honest to my face."

"I'm just concerned about you, Trowzer. We all are."

Trowzer growled and lowered his head so he was staring directly into Drazzik's eye. "Now _that_ sounded like a lie. Was that a lie, Drazzik?"

Drazzik's heart couldn't stop beating so fast, but the Fire Bro. remained firm and didn't show any signs of fear. His voice didn't even stutter.

"No, sir. You're our leader. Without you, this siege would be a failure. We need you."

"Hmph…I suppose you're right. Thank you for showing your 'concern,' Drazzik. I'll be fine. But for your sake, you'd better not lie to me in the future."

Drazzik inhaled sharply and started to breathe audibly when Trowzer put his thumb against Drazzik's good eye.

"If you do, I'll take my thumb here and jam it deep into your eye socket. Understand?"

Drazzik didn't want to say anything else, so he just nodded.

"Good!"

Trowzer removed his thumb and walked away from the Fire Bro. Drazzik stood near the wall panting heavily before he slowly walked over to the rest of the troops and sat down on a bench.

"So is he doing all right?" asked a dark koopa.

"No. He's losing his (censored) mind. I've seen him get this way before; our best option is to be careful when we talk to him, or to just not talk to him altogether."

Trowzer's team waited in the same corridor for another ten minutes before there was a loud bang from one of the side doors. Everyone was immediately on alert; they got their weapons ready and aimed it at the doors. There was another loud bang; the doors moved slightly. Trowzer growled, ready to gun down whoever or whatever was on the other side. After the third bang, the doors swung open, revealing a dark koopatrol and dozens and dozens of soldiers. Mel, naturally, didn't show any emotion whatsoever.

"Glad to see the rest of you are doing well. Can't say the same for us."

The rest of the soldiers walked into the corridor, laughing or sighing with relief, happy that they were surrounded with their old friends and coworkers again. Black and Red searched throughout the crowd, hoping they'd find their brother safe and sound. But Green was doing the same, searching within the sea of thugs and heartless reptiles who'd kill their own parents if someone paid them enough coins. Green blinked before he saw Red and Black leaning up against the wall near the bench Drazzik was sitting on. He didn't smile, but Green's mood was suddenly lifted.

"Red?!"

"Green!"

Considering everything both of them went through, Red and Green ran over to each other so they could embrace. They hugged each other tightly, almost smiling, glad that everyone was still okay. Black didn't join in, mostly because he was still mulling over everything and didn't happen to notice Steve. Red looked out the corner of his eye and noticed a Boomerang Bro. was looking at them with a raised eyebrow. The ninjakoopas quickly pulled themselves away, feeling embarrassed.

"Yes, well then, uh," Red cleared his throat and chuckled meekly. "It's good to see you again."

"What? You thought I wasn't coming back?"

Red and Black stared at Green. They knew he was trying to joke about the situation, but none of them laughed. Black looked around Green and realized that Steve still wasn't there.

"I noticed Steve didn't come back…"

Green didn't bother explaining. He just sighed deeply and looked down at the floor. "No…he didn't come back."

That was just another straw added to the camel's back. Anymore and Black had a feeling he'd have a breakdown. Red and Black tried to disregard Steve's death, but Green could tell by their faces that it hit them almost as hard as it hit him. They just weren't openly expressing their feelings.

"Green, can I see you for a moment?"

Green flicked his eyes to his right and saw Shannon coming towards him. "I'm talking to my brothers, bitch-boy."

The dark koopa roughly shoved Green away. He was breathing deeply and looked agitated.

"This is not a game. This is not high school. Stop the goddamn name-calling! I'm your superior and I demand you show me respect!"

Green scoffed. "You _earn_ respect, genius. You don't get it because Trowzer gave you a promotion."

A couple of koopas were crowding around Green and Shannon, as were Harry and Barry.

"Stop talking, bitch-boy. This is gonna end with you lying face down on the floor and getting it in the ass from Trowzer," said Barry.

A few of the crowd members snickered. Red and Black found themselves in a very awkward position; they didn't know what was going on between Shannon and Green.

"Face it, Green. You're just mad because you're little boyfriend Steve died in your arms. You just need someone to blame."

Green's nostrils flared, but he kept his cool and smirked. "And how would you know if Steve was my boyfriend? Were you spying on us having sex? Is that what you do Shannon? Spy on people having sex because you're so lonely and you can't get your own girlfriend or boyfriend?"

Harry stifled a laugh, and his older brother actually laughed out loud and shook his head. "Bitch-boy's getting owned again!"

"You listen to me—"

"No, you listen to me. You killed Steve right in front of me because, what, he irritated you with name-calling?"

"I told you: it was an accident! When I took the chain chomp tooth out of his neck, you told me to put it back in! I just stabbed him in the wrong area!"

Black blinked. "So…you're saying you're stupid?"

Barry burst out laughing and fell on the floor. His brother couldn't bottle it up anymore, and the next thing everyone knew, Harry was laughing too. Shannon was sweating, breathing heavily and feeling like a kid who just wet his shell in front of everyone at a school play. Everyone was laughing at him, mocking him, treating him like a pariah. The dark koopa was seriously considering taking out his knife and slashing Green's throat right then and there. But what good would that do? Killing Green would only confirm the kind of person he was to the group.

"YOU—"

"So what's the problem?"

Green and Shannon blinked and noticed that Trowzer was walking towards them. Both koopas calmed down a little when the giant koopa stood next to them. He looked down at Shannon before looking over at Green.

"Nothing…sir. We're just, you know, talking," said Shannon.

"I don't think Green wants to hear about your numerous failures."

More snickering. Shannon's eyes grew wide as he looked up at Trowzer. "Sir?"

"You forgot already? Because of you, Benson, Konley, and Steve are dead."

"And Bradley," Green added.

Trowzer growled without opening his mouth. "_And_ Bradley."

"Wait, wait, that's not fair! Mel was the one—"

"Sounds like _you_ need someone to blame, Shannon," Green said.

"I wasn't talking—"

"Shut up, Shannon," said Trowzer. "Your first big assignment and you've gotten several of my troops killed, two of whom were high-ranking lieutenants. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't make you clean toilets once this is all over."

"Because I'm loyal, sir. I-I'll do anything to make up for all the trouble; you have to believe me."

"Like bending over and taking it in the ass?" shouted Barry.

At that point everyone was laughing or grinning. Even Red and Black couldn't help but stifle laughter after hearing what the blue Yoshi said. Mel's mouth twitched a little—his definition of smirking. But otherwise, the dark koopatrol remained silent. Shannon couldn't help but blush, forcing himself not to have a breakdown in front of everybody. What really shocked Shannon was Trowzer's reaction. He was grinning with all his teeth showing; he looked like he was daydreaming about what it'd be like if Shannon was his butt-buddy. And then Shannon began to think about the same thing, and the reptile realized that in the future, he probably shouldn't bend over when Trowzer stood behind him. They just stared at each other before Trowzer chuckled, not explaining what Shannon could do to prove himself.

"All right, all right, that's enough! Let's get back to our mission! Bowser isn't going to wait for us to come by and defeat him!" shouted Trowzer.

"Doesn't he always do that?"

"Shut up, Ashley."

Trowzer started to lead the army to the next atrium, while Shannon stood in the same spot, breathing heavily and making a fist with his right hand. Everyone walking near him bumped him on the shoulder or snickered at him. Barry, like always, called him "bitch-boy." Green, satisfied over Shannon's humiliation, regrouped with Red and Black and followed the army into the atrium. But this was the last straw for Shannon. He wasn't going to take this anymore.

* * *

The atrium Trowzer and his army were in was surprisingly quiet. No one seemed to be around and there were various metal crates positioned around the wide-open space. Sara, a female koopa troopa with a green shell, sighed heavily and lowered her gun.

"Ten bucks says Bowser's army ambushes us in three seconds."

"ATTAAAAACK!"

Sara took two steps backwards. Several clubbas in Tubba Blubba's army got their slingshots ready and fired razor-sharp chain chomp teeth at her. All the teeth missed and hit the floor instead.

"Okay, so we hide, we shoot, everyone dies, and then we keep going?"

"Pretty much," said Drazzik.

Trowzer's army found any cover they could, but they didn't really need it. There weren't many clubbas in the area, and most of them weren't very bright. One clubba tried to rush Trowzer's army, determined to bash Trowzer across the head with his club. He was gunned down in only a few seconds. Another clubba thought it was a good idea to throw his club. He did hit and kill the shady koopa standing beside Sara, but now he was defenseless. Mel and another dark koopatrol ran to the metal crate the clubba was crouching behind and shot him five times with no effort at all. Suddenly, Tubba Blubba appeared from the massive crate he was hiding behind and began to sluggishly run forward. He punched one of the dark koopa's in the face before jumping up in the air and performing his infamous Body Slam move. A majority of Trowzer's troops began to back away; there was no way they could take on Tubba Blubba up close. Everyone took cover from the clubbas while Tubba Blubba grabbed a shady koopa's head. No one dared to look and see how Tubba Blubba was mangling the troop's body.

"Any ideas?!" asked Drazzik.

Barry slowly glanced over the crate he was hiding behind and saw Tubba Blubba hiding behind a crate around the same height. The blue Yoshi grinned and took out a large and deadly weapon.

"Don't worry. I stumbled upon this when Harry and I got separated from Team Beta."

"That's a goddamn machete!" said Green.

"Exactly. Not even a guy as big as Tubba Blubba can take a blow to the head from this!"

"Give me…give it to me," demanded Shannon.

Barry glanced over his shoulder, looked at Shannon and scoffed. "Piss off, bitch-boy. Just shut up and pick the sand out of your vagina."

Once again, those infamous laughs filled Shannon's ears. Fed up with it all, Shannon snatched the machete away from Barry and began to walk out into the open.

"Hey, get back here! What the hell are you doing, you idiot?!" asked Sara.

Shannon ignored her. He kept walking forward, ignoring the chain chomp teeth whizzing past his face. He approached the crate Tubba Blubba was crouching behind and raised the machete just as he stood up. Tubba Blubba roared and raised his fists. But Shannon struck first. He planted the machete in the giant clubba's scalp with a loud and squishy-like thud. Tubba Blubba's eyes grew wide; he was in shock. His eyes moved briefly as he looked down at Shannon. And then a thin line of blood began to trickle down Tubba Blubba's face. Shannon removed the machete and Tubba Blubba fell on his back, dead. But Shannon didn't stop there. He stood beside the clubba's body and struck him in the head again with the machete. Then he shouted and struck him again, sending blood onto his face. Shannon struck him again, and again, and again—he started hacking the clubba's head apart. The clubbas still alive just stood and watched as Shannon mutilated their leader's head, letting out feral snarls simultaneously.

"…Holy (censored), Shannon," muttered Barry.

Everyone lost count of how many times Shannon swung the machete. He didn't stop until he was physically tired from swinging too much. But by then, the entire front part of his body was caked in blood. Breathing heavily, Shannon slowly removed the machete from what was left of Tubba Blubba's head before he smiled eerily. The dark koopa started to laugh to himself, the sound of which sent chills up the remaining clubbas' spines. The clubbas glanced at their leader's desecrated cadaver before looking at Shannon. The dark koopa began to take a few steps forward, still laughing in a semi-psychotic state. Realizing what they were up against, the clubbas all turned around and began to run away. Trowzer's army watched as the clubbas left the atrium; it was clear that they valued their lives more than keeping Bowser's army intact. Shannon was still grinning and clutching the big machete, unable to keep himself from laughing. He turned around and slowly started to return to Trowzer's gang.

"Heh. Well, whaddaya know? Guess bitch-boy's a man after all," said Barry.

Shannon jerked his head in Barry's direction and snarled. He walked over to the blue Yoshi before lifting his machete and placing the blade against his throat.

"Shannon, what—"

Shannon snarled again and jerked his head and the machete around. Barry's younger brother was rushing towards the dark koopa and was about to snatch the machete from his hands.

"Go on then…say it. I-I know you want to, Harry. So say it."

Shannon removed his machete from Harry's face and approached the giant crowd. Much to Shannon's surprise, many of Trowzer's troops began to move away from him.

"SAY IT! COME ON, EVERYONE! SAY I'M TROWZER'S BITCH-BOY!"

Shannon stood still and giggled so hard that his body shook unnaturally. He took a few deep breaths before looking left and right.

"Ohhhhhhh, _now_ no one wants to call me names? But you were having so much fun! C'mon, Green! Insult me! Brag about how I'm always taking it up the ass!"

Green just looked at Shannon with disgust and folded his arms. He kept his mouth shut and blinked, realizing that Shannon was just as much of a wild card as Trowzer. The purple-shelled koopa returned to Barry and pointed the machete at him.

"You are not to refer to me by that slanderous name, do you understand me? Does everyone here understand?!" shouted the dark koopa.

But Barry was just as disgusted as Green. He folded his arms and scowled. "Hmph. Look at you. Big koopa with a bigass machete in his hands. I bet you feel a lot safer saying this in front of us when you're waving that weapon around, don't you? But I've seen people like you before, Shannon. You can act all big and bad, but you're still a little pissant coward underneath. …But we'll stop calling you bitch-boy so you won't throw another hissy fit."

Shannon lowered his machete. "Good. And all of you will address me as 'sir' from now on!"

"Yes…sir," mumbled Barry.

Shannon turned around and began to walk through the atrium when he lifted his arm and started to wipe some of the blood off his face. When he turned around, he noticed no one from the army was following him.

"What are you guys: deaf or dumb? MOVE YOUR ASSES!"

The army slowly began to walk forward, muttering things about Shannon to themselves. The dark koopa continued to grin, snickering and nodding his head.

"Yeah, that's right. Do what I say and keep moving!"

Trowzer grinned as he saw Shannon's bloody face. He walked over to the purple-shelled koopa and patted him on the shoulder.

"Now you're starting to get it."

Shannon turned around and began to walk alongside Trowzer. Sure, maybe he was still a smug coward, but at least he wasn't a laughing stock anymore. All he needed to do now should the teasing start again was use the world's greatest weapon to his advantage: fear.

* * *

Hooktail eventually returned to Geno, Kooper, and the other Yoshis. All the rebels and heroes waiting for her to come back sighed with relief once the red dragon landed on the ground. However, when everyone walked towards Hooktail and saw the grim look on her face, they knew something went wrong.

"Damnit…they're all dead, aren't they?" asked Tallard.

Hooktail grumbled and blinked. "Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

"The good news. Then again, if you tell us the good news, then we'll be expecting the bad, and that'll nullify—"

"Shut up, Denny," said Tallard.

"Okay, good news then. Dracolin's dead. We got into a fight and I killed him."

Some of the rebels started to grin and laugh to themselves. Even Tallard found himself smirking, and Geno and Kooper's spirits were beginning to lift.

"Finally! Now all we have to worry about are the ground troops! With that dragon dead, those shady koopas won't have eyes in the sky anymore!" said Tallard.

Bosley abruptly interrupted everyone's fun. "So what's the bad news?"

Hooktail sighed and lowered her head. "I didn't get there in time."

Everyone stopped cheering and frowned. Ned had to force himself not to whimper. "What?"

"But I thought you said you killed Dracolin?" asked Kooper.

"I did. _After_ he burned down the village."

Eddard felt his heart crumbling. His whole body suddenly felt empty and lifeless, as though someone had just broken his spirit. He exhaled sharply and sat down beside a tree, breathing slowly and making sure he didn't burst out in tears. He felt like crying—part of him wanted to break down sobbing—but he forced himself to be strong, despite knowing his home had been destroyed. Eddard sniffled and made a fist with his right hand, not knowing if he should be angry, scared or sad over everything. He had never been overwhelmed with so many emotions at one time.

"What do you mean you killed him _after_ he burned the village down?!" asked Kooper.

"Don't you dare start with me again, turtle. I got there too late. When I showed up, all the huts were burning and just about everyone was dead. I managed to rescue two Yoshis, but other than them, I don't think—"

"Did-did you see a green Yoshi there? A female one?" asked Ned.

"I only saw two adult Yoshis, and both of them were blue and male. Everyone else was charred."

Eddard put his hands on his head and gritted his teeth. He shut his eyes, but that didn't stop hot tears from squeezing out of them. Bosley crouched down beside the yellow dinosaur and tried to make him feel better.

"Ned, I'm sure your mother wasn't there. She probably got out in time."

"It's our village. We live there, Bosley. Why _wouldn't_ she be there?" asked Ned, his voice cracking.

"What about those kids we saved? What happened to them?" asked Geno.

Hooktail paused for a very long time before she blinked and continued. "They're not doing so good."

"Are you saying that monster killed them too?!" asked a female red Yoshi rebel.

"No, no. But, um…they were there when I killed Dracolin. They didn't see me do it, but I know some of them heard. Honestly, I think that's the least of their problems…"

"What could be worse than you scarring a bunch of children for life?!" asked Kooper.

"Dracolin killed one of them. He was chasing after those kids like it was some (censored) game. One of them tripped and Dracolin stomped on her like she was an ant. If you'd like I could go into more detail for you, Kooper."

Everyone went silent then. The group stared at Hooktail with wide eyes and shocked expressions on their faces. Geno exhaled and shook his head while the red Yoshi was noticeably struggling not to cry herself.

"(Censored) Christ…" said Tallard.

Ned wiped some of the tears off his face and sniffled. "Was it Katy?"

"No, some pink Yoshi. Didn't catch her name," replied Hooktail.

"Oh…I think Katy knew her," muttered Ned.

"Did you at least take the kids to safety?" asked Kooper.

Hooktail huffed, exasperated now. "Yes, turtle! They're at Monkeys' Favorite Lake; they told me they'd be safe there. Are you done now? Will you stop asking questions? Or would you like to know my shoe size as well?"

"That's enough. All but one of the kids is all right. That's all that matters," said Geno.

There was a very long and awkward silence. No one said anything for half a minute; the only thing that could be heard was Eddard sniffling and the wind blowing softly. But Tallard eventually sighed and shook his head.

"We still got a job to do. I know this is hard for all of you, being away from your homes and not knowing how your families are doing. But we've hit a breakthrough here. Dracolin's finally dead; he's one of the main reasons why we were having so much trouble sneaking around this island and taking out the commandos. We'll mourn all the victims later; now's not that time. If I remember correctly, there's another ammo dump somewhere near Nep-Enut's Domain. I say we find all the ammo dumps and destroy them. Eventually the commandos will run out of supplies and weapons and will be defenseless. Agreed?"

Some of the Yoshis were still upset over the loss, but they nodded their heads slowly or said "agreed" softly.

"I can fly all of you there if you want," Hooktail offered.

"No, we'll stay behind," said Bosley.

Tallard glanced at the blue Yoshi. "What for?"

"I think Ned's dealt with enough pain for one night, don't you? We're gonna go hide someplace safe and wait until all of this blows over."

"No," said Eddard, as he began to stand up.

"What?!"

Ned wiped his eyes again before he took a deep breath and nodded. "It…it sounds like a good plan. I should come along and help you."

"Eddard, you don't need—"

"I'm fine, Bosley. I'll be okay. Like Tallard said…we can mourn later."

Bosley looked into Eddard's eyes. He knew Ned was in pain and was trying to stow it all away. But with pain and sadness comes anger and hatred, and Bosley did not want Ned to be blinded by his hatred over the commandos responsible for everything that's happened.

"Okay then. Let's get going!" said Tallard.

As everyone climbed onto Hooktail's back, Bosley grabbed Ned's arm. He roughly shook it away and kept walking. At that point Bosley knew Ned was anything _but_ fine.

* * *

Like the previous dump, only two shady koopas were guarding the place. Both of them were standing near the lake where one of the nep-enut monsters lived. But the lake had been calm all night; the monster must've been sleeping and was fully submerged underwater. Geno, Kooper, and the rest of the Yoshis were hiding near a large set of trees several yards away from the dump. Kooper used the binoculars he found earlier to take a closer look at the situation.

"Huh. You'd think they'd have more guys guarding these places," said Kooper.

"Maybe Trowzer isn't that much smarter than his brother after all," said Geno.

"Let's just make this quick: I'll go over there and fry them with my breath. They're bound to be stupid enough to jump into the lake to cool off, and from that point on we'll let the nep-enut deal with them. Simple and easy," said Hooktail.

"Not exactly. You killed Dracolin; I'm sure his body was discovered by now, and the guards might assume you killed him. Our best option is to have someone—"

"I'll go," said Ned, already getting up and creeping over to the ammo dump.

Bosley got up as well and grabbed Eddard's arm again. "No, you're not! Just sit down and let me handle it; you don't need to put yourself in harm's way."

Ned yanked his arm away from the blue Yoshi. "I told you: I'm fine!"

Eddard quickly walked away from Bosley before he could grab him again. The blue dinosaur retreated back to the set of trees where everyone else was hiding.

"Eddard's not a baby. He can take care of himself," said Tallard.

"You're such a hypocrite. About an hour ago you kept calling him a 'kid' and you clearly thought he would be a nuisance to this team."

"That was before I saw him blow up the last ammo dump. He's proven himself since then, and he's a valuable asset to this rebellion."

"He's not an 'asset,' Tallard! He's a twelve-year-old kid who's clearly in pain and isn't dealing with it properly! Ned shouldn't be put through any of this!"

"What do you care? You're not his father. You're not even part of his family."

"Eddard looks up to me, like I'm his dad or his big brother. I think of him as a son. I constantly checked on him and his mom when his deadbeat father left his family."

"That doesn't change anything. You're still not his dad."

"Shut up, Tallard. What the hell do you know about having a family or raising kids? You care more about protecting 'assets' than you do about Yoshis' lives; no wonder you have no family. The one thing I fear is that one day Eddard will grow up and be like you."

Tallard's right eye twitched a bit, but he didn't scowl or change his expression. Of course, he didn't respond to Bosley either.

"Are you guys done? Jesus…everyone's whining about _something_ in this story," said Hooktail.

No one said anything afterwards. All the heroes just watched as Ned started to distract the shady koopas while hiding in a tree. Like before, he fired small pebbles at them using his slingshot. After the guards came to investigate, he hopped from tree to tree until the guards were nowhere near the ammo dump. Ned was going much faster than usual; he arrived at the dump in only a minute or so. The yellow dinosaur hopped onto the building's roof before jumping down to the ground.

"Damn, that kid's fast," muttered Denny.

Eddard waltzed into the ammo dump and disappeared for a while. The rest of the group stared at the building with bated breath, wondering when the yellow Yoshi would finally come back out. Over a minute had passed and Eddard was still inside.

"Come on, Ned…get out of there!" said Bosley, worried.

A few seconds later, Eddard appeared. Everyone saw the Yoshi sprinting out of the ammo dump; it was obvious he placed a grenade inside like he did with the other dump. The Yoshi ducked behind a bush near the lake, and everyone else took cover as the building exploded. The deafening explosion made a few of the rebels deaf for a few seconds; others could hear the thunderous boom as the ammo dump was set ablaze. Chunks of the building were sent flying into the air on fire. They landed across the domain, splashing into the lake the nep-enut was sleeping in and striking a couple of trees. But no one was hurt, not even Ned. After the fireball dissipated, everyone stopped covering their ears and looked across the field. Eddard still hadn't returned. In fact, he was hiding in the same bush.

"What the hell's taking Eddard so long?!" shouted Bosley.

Kooper stared at the bush through the binoculars again. The leaves in the bush moved, and Eddard slowly began to reveal himself. Unfortunately, the guards had returned and discovered that someone had sabotaged the dump.

"Get your ass back over here, Ned!" said Bosley, thinking Eddard had heard him.

But Ned stepped out of the bush and began to approach the guards, holding something dangerous and black in his right hand. Kooper frowned and dropped the binoculars.

"Oh my God, he's got a gun!"

Now everyone began to understand. Eddard had stolen a gun from the ammo dump so he could use it against the guards when they returned.

"NED, NOOO!" shouted Bosley.

Bosley and the others began to run after Ned just as the yellow Yoshi pointed the gun at a guard's head and fired.


	51. Run Turtle Junk, part 10

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Jerry manages to get Princess Peach outside the castle, but things still don't turn out as planned; Black is forced to do something that will scar him for the rest of his life; a familiar face comes by to help Wendy and Larry; Hooktail finally decides on what to do to prove herself to Kooper and Geno, and Bosley realizes just how badly everything has affected Eddard.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 10)**

The koopatrol burst through the front doors of the castle, panting and breathing heavily. Peach and Twink quickly followed behind him, also out of breath from running so much. The trio encountered another group of dark koopas, but Jerry had dealt with them all single-handedly. They were finally free, finally able to escape from Bowser's domain without worrying about getting caught up in Trowzer's wrath. Jerry started to walk down the stone bridge leading up to Bowser's castle before they arrived to the volcanic surroundings a few yards away from the fortress. Jerry looked to his left and right, frustrated that what he was searching for was no longer there.

"No…there has to be one. I know they left one here!"

"Left what?" asked Twink.

"The koopa clown cars! Without them, we're stuck here!"

"Can't we just walk—"

"Look around, Princess! We're surrounded by a bunch of volcanos! There's no way we can safely walk somewhere else without getting burned alive or dying from dehydration!"

"But Mario—"

"You're not Mario, Princess. Sooner or later, you and everyone else needs to accept that you can't do everything Mario and his brother can do."

Princess Peach frowned and sighed dejectedly while Twink looked around, trying to find some sort of solution.

"So what do we do now?"

The trio didn't notice a little twinkle from someone around Bowser's castle. A wounded sniper who had been fighting with a clubba was standing on a balcony panting. Bleeding from his chest, he got on his knees and set his sniper rifle down on the edge of the balcony. Hands shaking, he looked through the scope and zoomed in on the princess and Jerry. If he was gonna bleed to death, he may as well take someone down with him.

"I'm not sure…there's a secret passageway on the other side of the castle; it's an escape route. There's boats designed to travel on lava and other koopa clown cars; I think they even have karts. We're gonna have to go back inside," said Jerry.

"What?! After all the hell we just went through?!" said Twink.

"I know it sounds tough, but we've gotten this far. Just stay close to me, and I'll prote—"

Jerry stopped talking when a shot rang out. Someone shouted after getting hit with the sniper's bullet. Twink's eyes grew wide and he stared at the body lying on the ground made of volcanic rock. Peach whimpered slightly, her face and part of her dress covered in blood. Jerry was on the ground, breathing slowly and bleeding from the chest. The wounded sniper intended to take out the princess, but the clubba he subdued wasn't dead after all. He grabbed the sniper and attacked him just as he fired, and the sniper hit Jerry instead. Peach crouched down beside Jerry's body, frantic.

"Oh my God, oh my God, just…don't move, Jerry!"

Jerry blinked and looked down at his chest. "I can't…I'm having trouble breathing…"

"Relax, Jerry. You'll be fine. Uh…Twink, you can heal him, can't you?"

"Err…I'm not that kind of Star Spirit."

"But you told me you've been promoted! You're a fully-grown star now; shouldn't you be able to do something?!"

"I'm not exactly a surgeon, Princess. Even if I heal him, the bullet's still in his body. It doesn't matter how many times I heal him; eventually he'll just bleed to death."

"But can't we just—"

"Peach…Peach, look at me," said Jerry softly.

Peach stopped talking and looked at the koopatrol again.

"I'm dying. You…you have to accept that. All I…all I wanted to do was serve Bowser…to do what he told me. I—" Jerry coughed up a little blood. "I did my part…now you have to do the rest. Get…get out of here, Princess. Find a way to get back to your home…"

"But you just said there are no clown cars here! How am I supposed to get back?"

Jerry smiled. "You'll figure it out…you don't always need Mario to protect you. Didn't you have to save _him_ from Bowser once?"

Peach remembered her adventure where she traveled across the kingdom to Vibe Island after the Mario Bros. were captured by Bowser. Nevertheless, she still didn't know what to do.

"I wanted to thank you…"

"For what?"

"Calling me by my name."

The princess seemed confused. "It's just a name, Jerry."

The dying koopatrol shook his head. "Do you have any idea…how lucky some of us are to…to even get names? Do you know how special we feel…to get one? To have personalities? Everyone looks at us as nothing more than…than just a means of getting more star points and coins. If Mario was here, he wouldn't care about me, he wouldn't care about my name, he wouldn't care about my family," Jerry stopped so he could cough again. "…All that matters to that plumber is defeating us so he can reach his goal. It doesn't matter that all the koopas and clefts and goombas he takes down have names or faces or families…he doesn't care…"

"Jerry, Mario isn't like—"

"Yes, he is…and you know it. …But you actually treat me like a person…you called me by my name. The one thing that I wished for…was to be treated like a normal person from someone…other than my coworkers and to do whatever Bowser demanded from me. Because of you…I can die happy. Thank you…"

Jerry smiled as much as he could and took a few more breaths. He stared at Peach as she looked down at him before he sighed deeply and closed his eyes. The koopatrol's slowly rested his head on the volcanic rock, the slight smile still on Jerry's face. Peach stared at the koopatrol and all the blood that had poured out of his wound; part of her was hoping that the koopatrol would magically come back to life. But she knew in the back of her mind that he was dead. The princess sniffled and stood up, wiping some of the blood off her face.

"…So what now?" asked Twink.

Peach sighed heavily and shook her head. "I don't know…I guess now—"

Suddenly, the ground began to shake and rumble. Peach tried to stay on her feet, but she eventually shouted and fell to the ground.

"What's happening?! Did you call the Star Spirits or something, Twink?!"

"No! This has never happened before!"

A mouse cursor appeared and created five large squares in the background of the screen.

"…What?" asked Peach.

The squares flipped themselves over and a red-violet dragon with a blue underbelly and spikes over its body appeared still stuck halfway underground, roaring so loudly that Peach and Twink were nearly deafened by its voice.

"You can't be serious! After everything we've been through, we have to fight a dragon now?!" asked Peach.

"_INTRUSION DETECTED. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY OR BE PURGED._"said the dragon.

Twink blinked and looked at the dragon more closely. "Wait a second…I think this dragon is friendly."

A ! bubble appeared above the dragon's snout. It was quite obvious that the dragon didn't understand the whole situation.

"_WAIT. SCAN INITIATED. GOLD CROWN DETECTED. PINK DRESS DETECTED. LEVEL 8 EARRINGS DETECTED._"

"Um…I'm lost; Twink, what the hell's going on?"

"I honestly have no idea; I haven't been this confused since that whole chapter where Mario and his friends went through those vortexes."

"_INCREDIBLE. POSSIBLE SUBJECT IDENTIFICATION. BUT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. HOLD YOUR POSITION. SEARCHING DATA BANKS…_"

The dragon's eyes turned white with blue pupils and he began to roll them around repeatedly while he beeped occasionally like a sonar radio.

"Is he sleeping now or something?"

Another ! bubble appeared and the dragon's eyes turned to normal.

"_SEARCH COMPLETE. ONE POSITIVE MATCH. SYSTEM OVERLOAD! LEGENDARY DAMSEL IN DISTRESS IDENTIFIED!_"

"All right, I'm sick of this—who the hell are you?!"

The dragon blinked. "_OH, THAT'S CORRECT. I HAVE NOT INTRODUCED MYSELF TO YOU YET. FORGIVE ME. MY NAME IS FRACKTAIL, AND I AM HERE TO ASSIST YOU_."

"So you're not evil?" asked Twink.

"_NEGATIVE. IN FACT, I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR HELPING THE LEGENDARY HERO MARIO IN THE PAST._"

"But…but this doesn't make any sense. How'd you even know we were here?" asked Peach.

"_ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ER—_"

Fracktail bashed his head against a large piece of tuff lying near the stone bridge. He shook his head and returned to his position.

"_FORGIVE ME, BUT MY CPU IS UNABLE TO PROCESS THE QUESTION YOU HAVE ASKED. PLEASE ASK A DIFFERENT ONE._"

"What—no! We're not gonna stand here and just let some random deus ex machina go unanswered! How the hell did you find us?!" asked Twink.

"_ERROR! ERROR! ER—_"

Fracktail banged his head on the tuff again. "_PLEASE ASK A DIFFERENT QUESTION_."

Peach blinked. "Why are you here?"

Fracktail blinked and stared at the princess and the golden star hovering near her. "_IT SEEMS AS THOUGH I HAVE MADE A HUGE ERROR. THERE MUST BE A BUG IN MY SYSTEM; THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS DOES NOT WANT TO BE RESCUED. PERHAPS IT IS BEST THAT I DEPART NOW._"

Some of the squares began to flip themselves over, and parts of Fracktail began to go away.

"NO, NO, NO! COME BACK!" shouted Peach.

The squares flipped themselves back over, and Fracktail's entire body was visible again.

"_OH, WHAT IS THIS NOW? THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS HAS HAD A CHANGE OF HEART? DOES THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS SUDDENLY REQUIRE THE ASSISTANCE OF FRACKTAIL?_"

Princess Peach huffed. "Yes, yes…we need your help. We won't ask why you're here—"

"_THANK YOU. I MAY BE A MACHINE, BUT I BELIEVE IT IS RUDE TO SCRUITIZE SOMEBODY WHEN THEY OFFER YOU HELP THAT IS NEEDED. NOW THEN, HOW MAY I HELP YOU?_"

"…Just take me back to Mushroom Kingdom," said the princess.

"But, what about Trowzer? What about Bowser and the Mario Bros.—"

"Twink, I don't have time to figure that out now. I'll return to the kingdom and show everyone that I'm safe and sound. I'll tell everyone about this crisis and put everyone on alert. I'll…I'll figure something out."

"_IF YOU WOULD LIKE, PERHAPS I COULD ASSIST YOU IN EXECUTING THIS…TROWZER, WAS IT_?"

"No, not now. Trowzer has a bunch of dragons on his side; as big as you are and as strong as you look, I think it'll take more than just you to defeat Trowzer's entire army. Just focus on taking me home for now."

Fracktail lowered his body so Peach could climb onto the dragon's back. Twink floated beside her head as always, and the dragon slowly began to rise into the air. Before he took off, Fracktail noticed Jerry's body on the ground.

"_IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THE PRINCESS IS NOT MUCH OF A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS AFTER ALL. TELL ME, HOW DID YOU SUBDUE THAT KOOPATROL OVER THERE?_"

"He wasn't just some koopatrol, Fracktail; he was trying to assist me, like you are now."

"_OH, I SEE. HOW UNFORTUNATE THAT HIS LIFE WAS ENDED IN FRONT OF YOU. WHO WAS HE?_"

Princess Peach closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Jerry…just remember that his name was Jerry."

* * *

Trowzer's army was on the move again. At this point in the siege, the well-prepared and better trained army wasn't encountering any resistance now. Trowzer could already tell that it was almost over. Bowser and his army's morale had been shattered, and Bowser lost way too many soldiers to even try and attack them head on. Trowzer wasn't talking to himself anymore, but he couldn't stop grinning as he walked from corridor to corridor and moved up various stairs. He wanted to see the look on his half-brother's face when he finally bested him in combat. But Trowzer tried not to rush himself; he knew if he accelerated his plans too much that he'd make a mistake and end up losing half his team, something that Shannon had done with Team Beta. Trowzer's army arrived to a huge chamber with a long set of stairs leading up to another section of the castle. There weren't many places left to hide; Bowser's men were slowly getting backed into a corner. Instead of continuing up the stairs, Trowzer stopped and relaxed himself.

"Something wrong, sir?" asked Shannon.

Trowzer scratched his chin. "Let's face it: this castle's ours. We shouldn't leave other areas unguarded. And since Bowser's army has lost more than half their strength, I'm sure we should be able to proceed with only half our men."

"What are you saying, sir?" asked Drazzik.

"We take half the troops with us to finish off what's left of Bowser's gang. The rest of us can stay here, revisit areas of the castle we've taken over. The last thing we need is a third party trying to attack us, right?"

Shannon chuckled. "Sounds like a good idea, sir!"

"Hmm…what about you, Drazzik?"

The Fire Bro. shrugged. "I'd rather be over-prepared than overconfident, sir."

"Yes, well…let's do both. If a third of our army stays behind instead of half, then that should be enough."

Trowzer turned around and began to address his army with his loud booming voice. "I WANT HALF OF TEAM BETA TO STAY BEHIND AND PATROL THE AREAS WE'VE CONQUERED! THE REST OF YOU, COME WITH ME!"

Some of the members of Team Beta groaned. But everyone knew what kind of person Trowzer was, so no one vocally expressed their disproval over the giant koopa's decision. As his army began to walk up the stairs, Trowzer spotted Mel and held him back.

"I think you've done enough for now, Mel. You're the reason why I didn't lose everyone in Team Beta, plus you got wounded in the process. Stay behind; we'll alert you if we need backup."

The dark koopatrol hardly remembered getting a long chain chomp tooth stuck in his gut after being ambushed by Croco. "Okay, sir."

Shannon spotted the Koopa Bros. walking towards the stairs and scoffed. Determined to get back at Green, he walked over to Black and promptly held him back from the stairs.

"You stay behind. The rest of us can handle it."

Green and Red looked down at Shannon from the stairs. "(Censored) that. We've spent all night worrying our asses off about Green; we're not getting separated again," said Red.

"Not to mention that the last time we split up, one of us didn't come back," muttered Black.

Shannon scoffed. "There's no one down here! I'm just asking you to stay behind and hold down the fort with Mel and the others, Black."

"What for?" asked Green.

"Because I said so!"

"Did you say it, or did Trowzer say it and you're relaying the message like a little…errand boy?" Green made sure not to say "bitch-boy" again.

"Doesn't matter who said it. I gave you an order, Black, so stay down here and do what you're told! And you," said Shannon, facing Green.

"Yes, Dad?"

"I don't wanna hear any more of your goddamn backtalk! We're on a mission here; take it seriously! Something…unfortunate may happen if you don't."

Green and Red could already tell what Shannon was implying when they saw a smug grin on his face. Green grumbled to himself before he nodded.

"Okay, sir. Let's get going."

* * *

Black was actually relieved to be away from Trowzer. As much as he wanted to be with his brothers and Shelley, Black was glad that no bullets or chain chomp teeth were flying past his head. For once, everything in the castle was calm and quiet. All Black could hear were a few soldiers commenting about how the mission had gone so far. The ninjakoopa saw an opportunity to get some sleep and took it. Sitting beside a busted pedestal, Black slowly closed his eyes and started to doze off. He only got three minutes of sleep before Mel kicked him and woke him up.

"You can sleep after the mission's over. Go check the rooms near the staircase; someone might be hiding in them."

Black sniffled and rubbed his eyes. "Fine."

The ninjakoopa was in no mood to argue, especially with someone like Mel. So Black slowly got to his feet and started to check the rooms around the stairs. One of the rooms was nothing more than a storage closet. Black grumbled and walked down a small corridor near the staircase, which revealed five different metal doors all colored dark gray. Black walked to the door straight ahead of him and opened it. It was a bathroom—empty from what he could tell. Black shut the door and opened the one to his left. Judging by all the weapons and dormant bob-ombs inside, it was probably a small armory or storage unit. Just as Black closed the door, Black heard a soft thud from the room behind him. Black turned around and approached the door, his handgun ready. Black breathed heavily for a moment before he opened the door and pointed his weapon inside. A Hammer Bro. with blood running down his head was inside, carrying what looked like a meat cleaver. Both koopas gasped and froze, their eyes wide at what they saw. Black didn't know if he should shoot the Hammer Bro.; the Hammer Bro. didn't know if Black was really his enemy.

Black panted and looked left and right. No one had seen him open the door and no one else was nearby. Black quickly walked into the room and shut the door. The Hammer Bro. took a few steps back and sat down on a chair; the room he was in looked like a small bedroom Bowser's troops slept in. A few chairs, a glass table, some beds and a closet were inside.

"You traitor," said the Hammer Bro.

Black huffed. "Sanders…this-this—I didn't know this would happen. My brothers—"

"Shut up. You know damn well what kind of koopa Trowzer is."

"…Drop the cleaver."

Sanders blinked. "What?"

"Just…just drop it."

Sanders could see Black's hands shaking, but he didn't push his luck, so he dropped the meat cleaver and put his hands in the air.

"You gonna kill me, Black? You gonna kill someone who used to work alongside you, someone who fought with you in battle?"

"Just shut up, Sanders! Do you really think me or any of my brothers wanna be here?!"

Sanders scoffed. "You're not gonna shoot me. If you were, you would've blown my brains out the second you saw me."

Black inhaled sharply and kept the gun pointed at Sanders. Black's hands were shaking so much that the gun was making a small rattling noise. Sanders smirked slightly, knowing that Black wouldn't be able to do this. And he didn't. Black lowered the gun and huffed with frustration. He shook his head and started to pace around the room.

"I'm sorry, man. I don't know how this all went wrong; I didn't know it'd get this out of control! No one told me I'd be running around this castle killing my friends!"

Sanders blinked. "Maybe you're right…perhaps I'm being too hard on you."

"I just want everything to go back to normal! I don't want to be surrounded by all these killers running around slaughtering people I care about! I want my brothers to go back to doing the things we used to do together! I want…I want Yellow back," he said, his voice cracking.

Black had his back turned. He didn't see Sanders grab the wine bottle from the table, nor did he see the Hammer Bro. get off the chair. "I know, Black. I know this must be hard for you and your brothers."

Black shut his eyes and forced himself not to cry. "Sorry…I-I know you don't like hearing people whine."

"It's okay, Black. Your brother's dead and you're still not past it. I understand," said Sanders, as he crept closer to Black.

"I don't think my brothers are either. They try to act like it, but they—"

Black shouted when Sanders bashed him over the head with the bottle. Black stumbled forward and turned around; he shouted again when Sanders bashed him in the head a second time. Instinctively, Black raised his handgun. Sanders knocked it out of Black's hand before shouting and shoving the ninjakoopa onto a chair. Both of them fell forward and the wooden chair broken into several pieces with a large crash. Black, unfortunately, landed on his shell instead of his stomach. Panting, Sanders quickly got up and ran for the gun. Black grabbed a broken chair leg and tossed it at Sanders' head. The Hammer Bro. shouted when it hit him in the face and Black quickly rolled over so he was lying on his torso again. The ninjakoopa stood up just as Sanders bent down and grabbed the handgun. He grabbed Sanders' arm, panting and swearing as he tried to force the gun out his hand. He bit down on the Hammer Bro.'s wrist, causing him to drop it. Then he punched Sanders in the face twice before the Hammer Bro. punched Black in the throat.

Sanders grabbed Black and shoved him onto the glass table like he was a rag doll. He landed on the table, shattering the glass with a loud crash and cutting various parts of his body in the process. Black moaned weakly and tried not to move, praying none of the glass got in his eye. Sanders growled and got the meat cleaver off the floor. Just as he was about to attack, Black grabbed a few shards of glass and chucked them at Sanders' face. The Hammer Bro. shouted and covered his eyes; Black was glad he and his brothers wore green gloves. The ninjakoopa grunted and winced as he forced himself off his shell and got to his feet. But despite bleeding in the face, Sanders managed to open his eyes. He shouted and slammed Black against the wall before he put his hands around his throat. Black started to gag and cough as Sanders gritted his teeth and began choking him.

"You goddamn mother(censored) TRAITOR! You and your brothers deserve everything that's happening to you! You're the ones who deserve to die, not us!"

Black gasped twice and let out a whine as he tried to pry Sanders' hands away. But Sanders continued to choke him, squeezing the life out of the unfortunate ninjakoopa. Black whined again; Sanders could tell by his eyes that he didn't want to die now, and certainly not in such a brutal fashion. Black tried prying the hands away again, but it still didn't work. With no other option, Black began to reach around the room for anything he could find. The ninjakoopa grabbed a picture frame hanging on the wall and slammed the corner of it in-between Sanders' eyes. Sanders shouted and let go of Black; the ninjakoopa grabbed his neck and coughed violently as he dropped the frame. Sanders had fallen to the floor; he was lying on his shell, groaning and holding his forehead (which was currently bleeding). Black coughed a few more times before he slowly began to walk away. He didn't want to kill Sanders; he shouldn't have to. All he had to do now was walk away and leave Sanders to himself. But the Hammer Bro. wouldn't stay down. He quickly got back to his feet and tackled Black to the floor again. Sanders snarled and started choking Black again, wringing his neck and banging his head against the floor. Sanders looked to his right and noticed that the cleaver was lying in a pile of glass.

"You son of a bitch! DIE!" he shouted as he grabbed the meat cleaver.

Black flicked his eyes to his right and saw the gun lying on the floor a foot away. He punched Sanders in the face, reached over, and grabbed it. Just before Sanders could split Black's face in half, Black lifted the pistol, pointed it at Sanders' head, and fired, shooting him clean through the left eye. Sanders dropped the cleaver and his body collapsed on top of Black instantly. The ninjakoopa breathed heavily before he grunted and shoved Sanders' body off of him. Black slowly rolled over onto his stomach, still breathing and whimpering, feeling all the blood that had splattered on his face. Black stood up very slowly before he stared at Sanders' body and the giant hole in his left eye socket. The ninjakoopa shuddered and whimpered, not sure if he should burst out in tears or vomit. Black dropped the gun and took a few steps away from Sanders before he stopped and kept his mouth shut. It was definitely vomit, not tears. Black leaned forward slightly and some of the bile began to drip from his mouth. Then he lowered his jaw and expelled a horrible gurgling noise as he puked all over the floor.

The ninjakoopa fell to his knees, coughing and whining as vomit spewed from his mouth. The ninjakoopa felt more bile soaring up his throat and Black found himself puking even harder than before. The poor ninjakoopa's body was under so much stress that he didn't even notice he was wetting himself and creating a small puddle on the floor. Black took several deep breaths and spat on the floor as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. He was just getting on his feet when Mel kicked the door open with a gun in hand. The stoic dark koopatrol glanced at Sanders' body before staring at the distraught ninjakoopa. Mel put his gun down and sighed after seeing the puddles of puke and the small urine stain on the floor.

"I take it you've never killed anyone like this before."

Black shook his head before two more tears came out his eyes.

"Well, don't worry. After your first kill, it gets much easier. I should know; I went through the same thing you're going through."

"…Shut the (censored) up. Don't compare me to you; my brothers and I are nothing like you! We don't enjoy doing _this_!" said Black, pointing to Sanders' body.

Mel blinked and stared at Black for a long time, his red eyes glowing menacingly. "You're right. I'm not like you or your brothers. Because I'm not a hypocrite."

"What?"

"Here you stand, your chin covered in vomit, your face covered in tears, your underwear soaked in your urine, and all because you killed _one_ koopa—in self-defense, from the looks of things. Yet a couple days ago, you and your brothers bombed a facility full of innocent KP koopas, and you had fun doing it. Surely you must know that you killed or critically injured everyone who worked there?"

Black couldn't say anything. He just shook and whimpered quietly.

"Innocent koopas, Black. Koopas who were just doing their jobs. And you, Green, and Red are directly responsible for incinerating most of them. In fact, it's because of you that our forces are currently massacring every Yoshi on Yoshi's Island—that or making them slaves."

"But…that's not fair, Mel," said Black meekly.

Mel shrugged. "I tell it like it is. You knew in the back of your mind that Trowzer planned on killing most of the Yoshis there. So, no, Black, maybe you aren't like me. But you're not a saint either, and you never will be."

Mel and Black stared at each other for a while again before Mel's radio emitted a loud burst of static. The dark koopatrol took the walkie-talkie out of his shell and answered it.

"We're in trouble! We need backup right now; get some men and get up here!"

"I'm on my way."

Mel put the radio back in his shell and sighed. "Stay here, Black. Get yourself cleaned up. …From what I've seen, you're not cut out for this line of work. If I were you, I'd get out as soon as I could. But you better make your decision fast before it becomes too late to back out of this army."

Mel left Black shortly afterwards. The ninjakoopa walked towards the wall and slowly sat down, mulling over what just happened. Mel was right; things were out of control now. As soon as Trowzer was finished with his mission against Bowser, Black and his brothers were gonna leave this army and never look back.

* * *

Larry and Wendy's troops had finally come across Junior and the rest of their forces. Like Bowser, a majority of them was in a chamber waiting for Trowzer to come attack them, as opposed to being on the offense. Larry and Wendy were glad to see Junior, Kammy Koopa, and General Guy once again, but they were frustrated at the same time.

"Damn! You guys look like hell," said Junior.

Wendy huffed. "Thanks for stating the obvious. Has your team found Wario or Roy yet?"

General Guy shook his head. "No, we haven't made contact. Although Tutankoopa burst into this chamber about an hour ago. Ever since the first attack, my shy guys have relocated back to this quadrant."

"And you've been sitting here doing…what, exactly?"

Junior shrugged. "Waiting for Trowzer to attack."

Wendy sighed exasperatedly. "We've been losing soldiers left and right and you guys thought it would be a good idea to _sit here and wait_ instead of going out and actually fighting?!"

"Uh, news flash, Wendy: Dad does that all the time when Mario's after him to go rescue Peach. Hell, he's doing it right now! He's just sitting in his personal chamber waiting for Trowzer to come by!"

Wendy rubbed her head. "About that…we need to get Dad out of here. I don't think we can hold the fort for much longer; we've lost too many soldiers already."

"Not necessarily. We have several senior members in this chamber alone. If we hold the line here, we might be able to push Trowzer back," said General Guy.

"Besides, this is personal for Dad, Wendy. You know he won't leave even if we try to force him too. He thinks if he can defeat Trowzer himself, then maybe this will all be over," said Junior.

"That's ridiculous; Trowzer's army is gonna gun him down the second Trowzer is killed!"

Junior shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not too worried about Dad. He survived getting frozen solid and then crumbling into several pieces; I think he can take a beating from someone who looks like him."

"…Good point."

Junior looked to his left and saw Larry leaning against the wall and looking down at the floor. "What's up with him?"

"A lot of stuff's happened in the past few hours that I don't want to get into. Just be careful when you talk to him."

While Bowser Jr., Wendy, and General Guy were talking to each other, Larry was standing by himself and sulking. To make matters worse, Murray had decided to approach the blue-haired koopaling, probably to get into another fight. Larry couldn't see his face, but part of him guessed how Murray felt. Larry sighed.

"What is it now, Murray? Come to wish that I was never born?"

"I came to apologize."

Larry raised an eyebrow. "You're joking."

Murray shook his head and sighed beneath his helmet. "Don't get me wrong; I'm still angry at you. You still left my wife to get slaughtered by Trowzer's butchers."

"But I'm not the one who pulled the trigger! I didn't point a shotgun at her face and blow her brains out!"

"Which is why I'm apologizing. I've thought about it recently and saw you break down crying back on that walkway. You're obviously upset about the whole ordeal, and you didn't even kill her. Some goon or sadist working for Trowzer did, and I've been treating you like you're the one who killed her yourself, and you didn't. …You _didn't_, right?"

"NO!"

"Oh. Okay then."

"Why does this even matter now?"

"Because we both need to know what the true problem is so we can get over it. You need to accept the fact that if you had helped my wife, she _might_ still be alive. I need to accept the fact that even though you didn't help her, you're not the one who killed her. I shouldn't be mad at you; I should be mad at the guy who 'blew her brains out,' as you said. Regardless, you need to figure out a way to step up, Larry. There might be a situation where you have to choose to save someone—maybe a bunch of people—or save yourself. If you're gonna be one of the top leaders of this army, sooner or later you need to realize that your _single_ life isn't more important than _several_ lives."

Larry exhaled and rubbed his head, still unsure of how he should deal with the situation at hand. "You make it seem as though I don't already know that. I just—"

There was a loud bang from the metal double-doors leading into the chamber. Everyone got their weapons ready and took cover.

"CONTACT! Guess they found us again; everyone get into position!" shouted Henson.

Larry huffed. "We'll talk about this later!"

Murray nodded, and the two reptiles gathered their weapons and took cover behind different crates. The double-doors leading into the corridor shuddered twice as a powerful force slammed itself into them. Trowzer was on the other side, using his oversized body to try and break the doors open. Everyone was prepared now though, on both sides. The three koopalings had their wands and slingshots ready; the shy guys had their weapons equipped; the magikoopas were grouped around Kammy Koopa, slowly twirling their wands so they could fire a burst of magic as soon as possible. They still had a chance. It was a slight chance, but if they defended themselves right her and now, Trowzer just might start retreating. Everyone waited, panting heavily as Trowzer kept pounding on the door. They heard the beast roar from the other side, and then the doors burst open. Everyone fired before Junior and Larry had time to finish saying "ATTTAAAAAAACK!" Two shady koopas standing right beside Trowzer were hit in the eye with chain chomp teeth. Ilnyash, the blue koopatrol, shouted when Kammy Koopa hit him with a burst of magical energy.

Trowzer had once again underestimated the enemy; he dove towards his left and slid across the floor, shouting when a large pebble bounced off his forehead. The giant koopa quickly got up and started shooting at the troops with his handgun, hitting two shy guys in the head. He ran over to a large pillar and took cover behind it, narrowly avoiding another barrage of chain chomp teeth. Some of Larry's troops were going down, but they had decent cover to hide behind in this chamber. Tutankoopa crouched behind a metal crate before he stood up and lifted his arms in the air. The infamous colorful aura hovered in the air again, just above most of the troops. Green and Red noticed the chomp being outlined and shouted as they ran for cover. Several other troops were too busy shooting and failed to notice the massive shadow hanging over them. Tutankoopa shouted and lowered his arms; the chomp crashed into the floor, flattening about a dozen troops. Trowzer growled viciously before he revealed himself from his cover spot. Trowzer quickly ran forward, shooting at Larry and the others while simultaneously dodging the stones and chain chomp teeth.

Trowzer hid in his shell just as two stones were launched his way. They bounced off his shell; Trowzer came out of hiding and shot the yellow magikoopa standing beside Kammy Koopa in the chest twice. Trowzer tried to take out Kammy herself, but she quickly spun around and vanished, warping herself to a different area of the chamber. Trowzer glanced to his right and saw Kammy Koopa standing beside a pillar waving her wand. She shouted and fired a burst of energy at him. Trowzer quickly rolled out the way, and the magic energy hit an unlucky Boomerang Bro. instead. Meanwhile, Drazzik was busy demolishing the crates. He tossed and spat fireballs at the giant blocks of wood, causing them to explode into several pieces. The three white magikoopas hiding behind the crate didn't have time to stand up and relocate before Drazzik pointed a submachine gun at them and slew them. Drazzik shouted and hit the floor when Wendy released her deadly rings from her wand. He rolled around on the floor as four shy guys tried to fire chain chomp teeth at him simultaneously. Drazzik got back to his feet and returned fire, hitting two of the four green shy guys.

One of the koopa troopas on Larry's team got lucky and hit the Fire Bro. in the face with a long chain chomp tooth. Drazzik shouted and quickly sat down behind a metal crate, swearing and growling with a tooth protruding from his cheek. Elsewhere, Shannon was fighting as smugly as possible. Whenever he noticed someone was about to shoot at him, he'd take cover behind a large object and wait for the firing to stop. Then he'd pop up, shoot at a few of Bowser's troops with his assault rifle, and then find more cover. Shannon slid across the floor and immediately sat beside a large and chubby dark koopatrol who was panting and holding a shotgun. Shannon looked up at him and blinked.

"When I say 'go,' we both go out shooting until we get to the other side of the chamber! Ready?!"

The dark koopatrol nodded. "Ready!"

Shannon peeked behind a corner of the column they were hiding behind and blinked. "GO!"

The dark koopatrol appeared in front of the chamber shouting with pride as he blasted some of Bowser's troops with his shotgun. Junior swore vehemently and dove to the right when the crate he was hiding behind was shattered. He quickly slid his way towards Wendy and hid behind the metal crate lying beside her. The dark koopatrol kept firing until he shouted and was hit in the eye with a small tooth. Instead of helping the koopatrol, Shannon hid behind his large frame. He even grabbed the dark koopatrol by the neck and used his body as a shield. Grinning, Shannon fired at General Guy, nearly hitting him in the head. General Guy retaliated by launching four chain chomp teeth at him at once with an improved slingshot that held more ammo. All the teeth hit the husky dark koopatrol, killing him instantly. His shield now useless, Shannon sprinted across the room and crouched down beside Trowzer. Shannon glanced over at Trowzer and noticed he was scowling at him.

"Don't give me that look, sir! You know damn well you would've done the same thing!"

Trowzer grinned. Shannon suddenly gagged when Trowzer grabbed him by the throat. Given that Shannon weighed much less than Trowzer, the giant koopa had no problem hauling him right off the floor. Using Shannon's body as a shield, Trowzer walked into the middle of battle while simultaneously shooting at a few magikoopas. Shannon shouted when he was hit in the leg and felt a stone bounce off his head. Trowzer reached the other side of the chamber and threw Shannon's body to the floor. The giant koopa crouched behind another pillar, smirking when he saw Shannon holding his leg wound.

"You're right! I would have done the same thing!"

One of General Guy's chief lieutenants went down. Two seconds later, one of Junior's koopatrol's had three ninja stars stuck in his body. Another crate was destroyed; Bowser's troops began to move backwards. Larry and General Guy glanced at each other and grimaced. They were being pushed back toward the stairs. If they retreated now, they'd be finished. Larry shouted and ducked when someone threw a large knife at him. Harry and Barry were getting in on the action now, shooting down General Guy's shy guys and Larry, Wendy, and Junior's koopa troopas. Harry hid behind a pillar and peeked around the corner slightly, shooting at a couple of koopatrols. Then he dove to the left, shooting at the magikoopas near Kammy Koopa at the same time. He rolled around the floor, stood up, and fired off a few more shots. The red Yoshi immediately took cover behind a pedestal so he could reload; his brother Barry took over for him. The blue Yoshi snarled as he threw four knives at Larry and Wendy. They dodged each knife (just barely), but some of the koopa troopas behind them got hit. Frustrated, Larry and Wendy wildly cast their magic spells at their foes, determined to defeat them. But Barry was too quick; he ducked, spun, and dove his way to safety.

Harry had finished reloading and came out of hiding again. Wielding two pistols, the red Yoshi grinned as he mercilessly fired at Bowser's troops. The dinosaur lost track of how many bodies dropped, but he knew that Larry's team was suffering heavy damage. Just as Harry ran out of bullets, he noticed a large shadow on the floor. Harry looked up and his eyes grew wide. A massive chomp was hovering above his head. Before it could crush him, Barry shouted and tackled his brother to safety. However, Tutankoopa's chomp still flattened three other soldiers. General Guy's troops and Kammy Koopa's wizards combined their attacks to make them deadlier. Yellow magikoopas were electrifying stones just as the shy guys were launching them. The troops getting hit were either knocked out by the electric stone or killed when the large amount of electricity made their hearts stop. Even worse, some magikoopas were setting chain chomp teeth on fire, so when they hit their target, the fire started to internally burn the enemy. Drazzik had finally gotten the tooth out of his face and was back in the action. But just as he began to shoot, one of the fiery chain chomp teeth hit him in the stomach. He would've died right then and there if the koopa's element wasn't fire already.

"We're in trouble! We need backup right now; get some men and get up here!" said Drazzik after taking out his walkie-talkie.

Larry and Junior heard the Fire Bro. and were crestfallen. This wasn't going to work; once reinforcements showed up, they'd slaughter everyone in this chamber. Junior lowered his head and shook it slowly, knowing that they couldn't win.

"Fall back," he said quietly.

Larry couldn't hear him over the gunfire. "What?!"

"FALL BACK! EVERYONE RETREAT!"

General Guy was surprised. He knew their side was suffering more casualties, but part of him thought they could make a comeback. Unfortunately, as General Guy looked behind him, he noticed that his army did not feel the same way. Most of the troops were slowly retreating toward the stairs. Trowzer had heard Junior and grinned widely. He reloaded his gun and started to advance on the enemy. He aimed at the koopaling closest to him, which happened to be Wendy. The giant koopa fired at the female koopaling over and over again, but Wendy kept backing away and hiding in her shell in hopes that it would shield her from the gunfire. But as she was backing away, she tripped over a dead shy guy and landed on her shell. A dark koopa quickly ran forward, gun loaded, and approached Wendy before Trowzer could kill her himself. He aimed right for her forehead, ready to blow her brains out.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!"

The dark koopa looked up, seconds before he was shot in-between the eyes. Wendy quickly rolled over and stood up. Roy had finally found them; he heard the gunfire from one of the adjacent corridors and burst into the chamber from one of the side doors. Panting, Roy continued to fire at the enemy, aiming directly for Trowzer. The unhygienic koopaling and massive blue-shelled koopa fired at each other. But both of them were equally savvy with their guns; even Roy had managed to get the hang of using a pistol after he and Wario ran into more shady koopas. By the time both of them ran out of ammo, they were taking cover behind metal crates.

"NOW, WARIO!"

The fat biker entered the chamber through the same door Roy appeared in. He drove his way inside, on his giant motorbike. Snickering, Wario revved his bike a few times before he accelerated at top speed. Wario slowly turned the bike sharply so that it would slide along the floor horizontally. Wario quickly jumped off the bike before it fell over and watched as the motorcycle plowed through several of Trowzer's troops. Those who weren't knocked out were either knocked down or had several bones broken when the bike slammed into their legs. Wario stood on top of a metal crate and quickly turned around, bending over. Acting quickly, Wario grunted and made two fists before he let out a humongous cloud of flatulence. Everyone was deafened by the juvenile sputtering noises; a few koopas screamed when the yellowish fumes burned their eyes and blinded them. Almost the entire room was clouded by the yellow gas, which was exactly Roy and Wario's intention. Even Trowzer was having difficulty breathing and noticed that he was coughing a few times.

"Hehehe, now it'll be easier for us to fight!" said Wario.

Wendy coughed and waved a hand in front of her nose. "It's too late for that; you guys didn't show up in time! Backup for Trowzer's team is gonna show up any minute! We're already retreating!"

"WHAT?!" Roy snarled.

Wendy coughed a few more times and plugged her nose. "Don't argue with me! Just follow the troops up the stairs; Wario's gas cloud will buy us enough time to escape! GO!"

"But—"

Larry and Junior were still in the chamber. Coughing and trying to see through the fumes, they both grabbed Roy by his arms and began to haul him towards the spiral staircase, with his protesting the entire time. Wario on the other hand could not risk winning this battle on his farts alone; he already spent a long time building up just this one fart. He growled with frustration and jumped off the crate so he could follow Wendy and everyone else up the stairs.

* * *

Larry and Junior finally let go of Roy once they reached the long corridor upstairs. The rest of the troops were running and heading for a safer area whilst a panting Roy stood near the stairs, wondering what was going on. Junior started to head for the army as well to go check up on General Guy and Kammy Koopa.

"I demand an explanation! What the hell did me and Wario miss out on?! When did Trowzer and his men turn against us and start trying to kill us?!"

Larry sighed. "He's cleaning house, Roy. Trowzer doesn't need us anymore, so he's gonna kill everyone in this castle and take it over."

"He's responsible for killing Iggy, Roy. Every bad thing that's happened since Iggy died was because of him!" said Wendy.

Wario's eyes grew wide. "…Huh. I guess that dark koopa you tortured back in that corridor was telling the truth Roy."

"But that can't…WAIT A MINUTE! He's the reason why we caught the Mario Bros.! Why would he—"

"Damnit, Roy! We don't have time to explain all this right now! We have to go before they catch up to us!"

Before everyone could run away, they heard someone hastily coming up the stairs. Wendy huffed while Roy came up with an idea. He grinned and slowly pulled something out of his shell.

"Roy, what are you doing?" asked Larry.

"Remember this, guys?"

Wendy and Larry stared at Roy and noticed that he was tossing a football up and down in his right hand.

"DON'T YOU DARE THROW THAT AT ME AGAIN!"

"THINK FAST!"

This time, Wendy was fast enough to dodge it. She ducked, immediately when a shady koopa arrived at the top of the stairs. The shady koopa shouted as the football hit him in the mouth, knocking out a tooth in the process. He staggered and yelped before he tumbled down the staircase, grunting and shouting as he rolled, unable to stop himself. However, everyone in Trowzer's army was running up the same staircase; it didn't take long before the shady koopa knocked over two dark koopas, who then rolled down the stairs and knocked over five Hammer Bros., who then rolled down the spiral staircase and knocked over even more soldiers. The mass of falling soldiers got so bad that a few of them broke their necks while rolling down the stairs. When everything finally stopped, over half of the soldiers (Trowzer included) were back in the gassy chamber, lying on the floor, groaning and trying to get back on their feet. The three koopalings could hear the groaning from the top of the staircase and imagined what it must've looked like down below. Wendy, somehow, managed to smile and start chuckling.

"See? Anything painful or abusive is _always_ funny!" said Roy.

"…I'd be on the floor laughing if I didn't have impending death to worry about. Can we go now?" asked Larry.

Wario shrugged. "He's got a point, Roy. We're still in a dangerous situation."

Roy huffed. "Fine! Let's get out of here…and tell us what the hell's going on!"

The three koopalings and Wario started to run down the long hallway, hoping that the staircase incident would put them at least five or ten minutes ahead of Trowzer.

* * *

"NED, NOOO!" shouted Bosley.

Bosley and the others began to run after Ned just as the yellow Yoshi pointed the gun at a guard's head and fired. Eddard shouted after firing the gun, the loud noise making him deaf for a moment. The guard Eddard shot went down instantly; blood splattered all over his partner's head. Ned, in shock over what he just did, could only stare at the body, his hands shaking and his eyes wide as dinner plates. It took a moment for the other guard to register what happened before he looked at Ned and saw him holding the gun. He charged right for him, and Ned broke out of his trance. He tried to shoot the guard, but even after hitting him in the stomach, the shady koopa still tackled Ned to the ground. He punched him in the face four times before wrapping his hands around his throat. Ned coughed and gagged as the shady koopa started choking him to death. He tightened his grip as each second passed, cutting away Ned's supply of oxygen. Then Bosley snarled and tackled the guard off of him. Still on top of him, Bosley started to punch the shady koopa in the face over and over again until he grabbed him by his neck and started to choke him instead. In a fit of rage, Bosley wrapped his hands around the guard's head and violently snapped his neck.

Eddard coughed and rolled over onto his stomach so he could crawl away from the burning building and the two bodies in front of him. Bosley got off the guard he just killed and approached the small yellow Yoshi, who was starting to sniffle.

"You happy now, Ned? Does it feel good to blow someone's brains out?" asked Bosley.

Eddard didn't try to hold in his pain anymore. He started to sob out loud, tears streaming out of his eyes. "They ruined everything, Bosley! They-they invaded our home, they killed our friends, they burned down my village—what did you expect me to do?!"

"Not to shoot someone in the face! Goddamnit—this is why I didn't want him here, Tallard! This was bound to happen!"

"Listen, kid, I know it must be hard—"

Eddard turned around and faced Kooper. "No, you don't! You don't know what I'm going through—stop trying to act like you do!"

"But—"

"Is your mom dead? Did your dad leave you when you were growing up? Did someone burn down your village? Did someone destroy the home you live in? Did someone you briefly knew get crushed to death?!"

"No, but—"

"THEN SHUT UP!"

Eddard suddenly fell to his knees and shut his eyes. He started to let out a horrible wailing noise as he cried louder than before, tears rolling down his face. The Yoshi was crying so hard that he could barely see when he opened his eyes back up.

"Kid…now unlike that turtle over there, I do know the pain you're going through. I know it hurts and I know you feel angry and sad…but it's okay. You did the right thing. Eventually, you'll just…accept it. It'll get easier," said Tallard.

Eddard slowly shook his head and sniffled. "I don't want that…I'm not like you, Tallard! I actually have feelings! I actually care about someone other than myself!"

"No one's saying you shouldn't care—"

"So-so…so, all that matters," Eddard sniffled again, "is that we kill the enemy, right? You said it yourself earlier; we shouldn't mourn now! So I shouldn't care that my friends are in danger, that my mother's dead, right?!"

"Ned, you still don't know that she's—"

"IT'S OUR VILLAGE, BOSLEY! WHY WOULDN'T SHE HAVE BEEN THERE!?"

"Okay, this is getting uncomfortable," said Hooktail timidly.

"Shut your mouth; you're not helping," said Kooper.

Hooktail, naturally, did not listen to Kooper and walked towards Ned. "Listen…I won't stand here and say I know what you're going through or that it's okay to bottle up your feelings or that it's okay to kill people so long as you get the job done. Don't think about any of that. Just…think about your mom, kid. I never saw her body; she-she might be hiding somewhere. She might still be okay."

Eddard wiped a few tears from his face before he sniffled and walked away from Hooktail.

"Stay away from me…you're the reason why this is all happening."

Hooktail felt like snapping at the Yoshi, but she calmed herself. "I had nothing to do with what Dracolin did. I was trying to save those Yoshis!"

"You dragons are all the same; you get off to torturing people and burning things with your fire breath. There's no reason behind you creatures; you just want to see everything burn until there's nothing left!"

"That's not true! Not all dragons are evil!"

"Is that why you spent a majority of your life kidnapping and eating koopas from Petalburg?" asked Kooper.

"Shut up, turtle!"

Eddard sniffled. "You're no different from Dracolin."

"Don't you _dare_ compare me to that monster!" she snapped.

Eddard noticed Hooktail's angry behavior and exhaled. "You…you see? You dragons are all the same. You get angry for…for no reason, you enjoy killing others, you enjoy burning things to the ground…and for what?"

"No, kid. I-I'm not like Dracolin; I never will be."

Eddard nodded. He wasn't crying so hard now, but tears were still coming out his eyes. "Yeah, you will. Some…sometimes I hear the phrase 'people can change,' but rarely do I ever see it happen. You're an animal, Hooktail. An animal that likes to kill. Animals _don't_ change; they don't have the will to. Animals do what they're always destined to do. And you're a dragon…dragons kill and burn, nothing more. You make think you've changed, but one day…one day you're gonna be just like Dracolin."

Hooktail could only stare at Ned, breathing softly and visibly hurt by the Yoshi's words. Bosley walked over to Ned and hugged him; Ned promptly stuffed his face into Bosley's chest, sniffling and wrapping his arms around the blue dinosaur.

"He's got a point, Hooktail. What's stopping you from getting so angry that you turn into another Dracolin? What's stopping you from devolving into a demented sadist who only cares about burning and crushing others?" asked Kooper.

Hooktail stared at Kooper before she lowered her head. "I…I won't…I'm not like him," she said, her voice almost breaking.

Bosley looked down at the sniffling Eddard and sighed deeply. "We're done here. I'm taking Eddard someplace safe until all this blows over."

"Bosley, you know—"

"(Censored) you, Tallard. I told you Ned shouldn't be exposed to this. Now look what's happened. I'm not letting this kid lose the small amount of innocence left in him. He doesn't deserve any of this."

"Where are you going?" asked Geno.

"There's a small village about a mile from here. It's surrounded by thick trees and there are a few large caves to hide in; we'll be safe there."

"I don't think—"

"Tallard…I don't care what you think. We're not staying here any longer, and that's final. …Let's go, Ned."

Eddard didn't feel like talking or fighting anymore. He just nodded his head and sniffled again. Everyone watched as the two Yoshis walked into the forest, disappearing into the darkness and the large trees after a while. Tallard glanced at all the rebels standing around him and scoffed.

"Good job, guys. I really (censored) appreciate you backing me up!"

"It was a personal matter, Tallard. We felt like we shouldn't intrude," said the female red Yoshi.

"What-the-(censored)-ever. Everyone around me is so goddamn useless."

Geno noticed that Hooktail still had her head lowered. In fact, she looked like she was about to start crying herself.

"Are you gonna be all right, Hooktail?"

Hooktail sighed. "Nothing I ever say is good enough for you. I thought you'd be at least a little happy that Dracolin was dead, but that seems to have made everything worse."

"Maybe if you hadn't slaughtered him in front of a bunch of kids…" added Kooper.

"Kooper, stop exacerbating the situation! If you're not gonna help out, then keep your mouth shut!" shouted Geno.

"No, he's right. I knew those kids were there. I knew what I was doing. The way they looked at me after I killed him…" Hooktail shook her head and sighed. "I have to leave."

"What? Hooktail, you can't—"

"None of you believe I'm on your side, no matter how hard I try. But I'll show you…I'll _make_ you believe me."

"By leaving us all here to die?" asked Kooper.

"That's not what I mean. There are hundreds of dragons scattered across this world—thousands, maybe. There's no way they're all aligned with Trowzer; most of them probably don't know his name. And after seeing what's happened on this island, what damage a single dragon can do…it's become clear to me that we'll never take over this island unless dragons are helping us instead of hurting us."

"So even after what Ned told you, you're still gonna go around killing and burning stuff, even if it's for a 'good' reason," said Kooper.

Hooktail huffed. "If the kid hates me, then the kid hates me. All of you know that if we had a bunch of dragons on our side, Trowzer's army would scatter like cockroaches and they'd be driven from this island in a heartbeat."

"…She does have a point. Maybe some of you are useful after all," said Tallard.

"So you're just gonna leave us here while you go out looking for more dragons?" asked Geno.

"I know it's asking a lot—"

"It's asking too much!" shouted Kooper.

Hooktail shut her eyes and sighed deeply. "You weren't there when Dracolin crushed that kid. You didn't hear her scream before she died. You didn't see Dracolin smearing her remains beneath his foot. You didn't see what was left of the body—I can barely even consider what was left to be a 'body.' …I don't ever want to see that happen again. I have to do anything I can to prevent something like that from happening in the future. If that means leaving this island for a few days—weeks even—to recruit a bunch of dragons, then so be it."

"Is there nothing we can say to stop you?" asked Geno.

"I'm sick of trying to persuade you guys why you should trust me, so I'll just _make_ you trust me. I'm _going_ to find help. I'm _going_ to come back. You just wait and see. It might be a while, but…just wait. I'll come back. I swear."

Kooper huffed and folded his arms. "Fine, go. It's not like I care anyway," he lied.

Hooktail looked at Geno, Kooper, and the rest of the rebels before she slowly flapped her wings and took to the skies. Everyone watched as she ascended high into the air, and then started to fly away from the island. Once no one could hear the beating of her wings anymore, Tallard sighed and shook his head.

"Let's just go back to camp," he said, frustrated.

"Right now? I thought we—"

"We'll make more plans in the morning, Denny. I'm tired. I know the rest of you are tired. Let's all get some sleep and figure out how to sort this mess out at dawn."

None of the rebels felt like arguing, especially since they were equally tired. So they all followed the orange Yoshi as he began to walk into the forest. Geno and Kooper remained where they were though, feeling quite sullen over everything that had happened. Kooper looked to his left and right and noticed that no one else was standing beside them. None of Kooper's friends who traveled with Mario to find the Star Spirits were there. Not even Mario or Luigi, the two people he had been traveling with since this adventure started, were backing him up.

"I guess it's just us now," said Kooper quietly.

Geno nodded, feeling just as much pressure and emptiness as Kooper.

"Yeah…it's just us."


	52. Run Turtle Junk, part 11

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Just when Black is considering leaving Trowzer's army for good, a tragedy occurs that compels him and his brothers to stay; Kooper begins to wonder if what they're doing on Yoshi's Island is even remotely helpful; Larry finally figures out what he must do to lead the rest of Bowser's troops to safety.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 11)**

Croco stopped sprinting so he could lean beside a column and catch his breath. The purple crocodile put his hands on his knees and began to pant heavily, his chest inflating with each breath he took. The three crooks trailing behind him had also stopped to get their breath back; all four henchmen were exhausted from running around the castle placing their traps. However, Croco had a new plan in store for him and his three crooks. Upon seeing all the devastation around the castle, the reptile realized that he was fighting a losing battle. The reptile wasn't in league with Bowser; he was just helping him out so he could get paid. But the crocodile had his money now, so there was no point in staying in the castle waiting to die.

"So…we'll rest here and then—"

Croco shook his head and interrupted the crook. "We're done helping Bowser. It's time to get the hell outta here."

One of the crooks blinked. "But I thought we were hired to assist Bowser as much as we can?"

Croco scoffed. "We've helped out enough. 'Sides, there's no way his army's gonna win; there's no point in staying here to get killed. We already got our coins, so let's make like a banana and split!"

The same crook blinked. "Did you really just say that?"

"Shut up; you know it was clever," Croco retorted.

The crooks and crocodile waited until they got their breath back before they finally started to walk towards the double-doors leading to the exit on the bottom floor. It was a long way to the exit, but as long as Croco and his crooks hid from Trowzer's men, they'd be fine. Unfortunately, as Croco and the crooks got close to the doors, they shook.

"(Censored). Hide!" shouted Croco.

"You don't know—"

"I'm telling you, whoever's behind that door ain't friendly! Now get your ass behind some cover!"

The crooks saw the doors shake again and decided to listen to their boss, so the trio of thieves all hid behind Bowser pedestals or stone columns and waited for the doors to burst open. Once Trowzer kicked the door in, the panting koopa slowly walked inside the chamber, almost limping as he moved around. The rest of his troops walked inside, many of whom were just as tired or wounded as Trowzer. The giant koopa wasn't sure, but he had a feeling that he sprained or dislocated something when he fell down the stairs.

"ALL RIGHT!" shouted Trowzer. "WE'RE TAKING ANOTHER SHORT BREAK!"

Croco sighed and shut his eyes. "Of course you are," he said quietly.

The blue-shelled koopa grunted when he sat down on a table, still breathing heavily. The rest of the army poured into the room, taking up much space so they could sit down and relax. Trowzer wasn't sure how much time they wasted after the incident on the stairs, but something told him that they were far behind. The behemoth didn't even want to rest now, but he physically couldn't keep going without stopping or keeling over. All the white magikoopas were going around healing soldiers with their magic while others were scarfing down any supplies that would raise their health. Shannon sat beside Trowzer and was about to eat an ultra shroom when Trowzer reached over and snatched it from his hands. The koopa stuffed the shroom into his mouth and began to chew on it noisily.

"Uh—sir, that was mine!"

Trowzer glared at him evilly and growled. He opened his mouth wide and spat messily into his right hand. The koopa blinked and held his hand in front of Shannon's face, which contained several chunks of the half-chewed ultra shroom covered in slimy drool.

"My mistake. Here you go."

Shannon looked at the gross chewed-up pieces of the shroom and groaned quietly. "Um…you can have it."

"Thank you," said Trowzer, before putting the half-chewed shroom back in his mouth.

Like a majority of the troops in the area, Green and Red were busy checking their ammo and taking a small break. Beside them was Ilnyash, who miraculously survived getting blasted in the chest by Kammy Koopa. But it left a huge red mark on his chest.

"Jesus…do either of you guys have ointment or…somethin'?"

"No. It's just a slight burn; you'll deal with it," said Green.

"A 'slight' burn? Do you see how red my chest is?"

"At least you didn't get shot. Stop complaining."

As Green and Ilnyash were talking, Black stormed into the chamber. After he heard the commotion upstairs, Black decided to follow Mel so he could check on his brothers. The ninjakoopa panted a few times before he spotted his brothers standing beside a pedestal.

"Oh, thank God! You guys are all right!"

Green shrugged. "We didn't come this far to get killed now. I thought bitch…Shannon told you to stay downstairs?"

Black exhaled. "I don't care about him. I don't care about these jobs we gotta do for Trowzer; I don't care about this mission. Let's just…let's just leave guys."

Red raised an eyebrow. "You mean, like just turn around and walk out the front door?"

"Yes! Why not?! We can't keep doing this; we're losing our (censored) minds!"

"Are we losing our minds, or are _you_ losing _your_ mind?" asked Red.

Black stared at Red. "What does that mean?"

"I mean that you two don't seem too keen on being Trowzer's friends."

"It's kind of hard to befriend someone whose breath smells like dragon poop," joked Green.

"This isn't funny, Green! Don't either of you care about what we've been doing all night?! Don't you care that we've turned against our friends, that's we're killing people we used to work with just because they chose the wrong side?!"

Green sighed heavily. "…Yes. Of course it bothers me."

"Seriously?" Red shrugged. "Doesn't seem to bother me."

"Yes it does and you know it! You're just bottling it in and you're going through Stockholm Syndrome!"

"Or maybe I've come to realize how much of an idiot Bowser really is and that we were right to join Trowzer. This isn't about friends and enemies; this is about who lives and who dies, who wins and who loses. With all the stupid things Bowser has done in the past, are you really _that_ surprised that someone smarter than him is overthrowing his empire?"

Black slowly backed away from Red and chuckled quietly. "So…so that's it? Your friends don't matter, Red? Is that it? All that matters is who wins and who loses? What about your family, Red?! Do we matter to you at all?!"

Ilnyash groaned. "Lower your voice; I don't need a migraine on top of this burn wound."

"DOES IT MATTER TO ANYONE AT ALL?! DO ANY OF YOU CARE WHAT YOU'VE SPENT THE LAST FEW HOURS DOING?!" hollered Black.

Ilnyash huffed. "Thanks for listening."

Black ignored him. "Is everyone happy? Huh? Is everyone who used to side with Bowser happy with yourselves right now?! Are you happy that your minds have been corrupted by all these cold-blooded killers and that monster sitting on that table over there?!"

Trowzer blinked. "Now that was uncalled for. There's no need to call Shannon a monster."

Shannon looked up at Trowzer, ready to protest. Trowzer looked back down at Shannon with an evil glare. Unsurprisingly, Shannon looked away from the giant koopa and kept his mouth shut.

"You're all killing your friends—some of you are probably killing your own family! Don't you even care?!" asked Black.

A koopatrol scoffed. "Gee, sounds like someone's on his period."

Black walked up to the koopatrol and got in his face. "You shut the (censored) up. At least I still have a conscience; at least I still care about what I'm doing! What about you, Kenny? Where was your conscience when you slashed your sister's throat? Where was your conscience when you shot your brother in the back of the neck?!"

The koopatrol frowned. "They didn't give me—"

"Bull(censored)! You had the option to let them live and you slaughtered them like animals, like rabid chain chomps!"

"That-that's not true. They—"

"Shut up! I saw the look on your face; you enjoyed killing them. You took pleasure in killing your own siblings!"

Kenny's voice began to break. "I didn't—"

"SHUT UP! You killed your own brother and sister! They're dead because of _you_, Kenny!"

Green could see that the koopatrol had realized what he had done. He looked like he was about to cry or have a breakdown in front of everyone. Green walked over to Black and tried to calm him down.

"Black—"

Black shook Green's arm away when he grabbed him by the shoulder. The ninjakoopa panted as he walked around the chamber.

"Is this what we do now: just run around killing people and blowing (censored) up?!"

Mel jumped into the conversation. "Black, we _just_ talked about this. If you and your brothers want to leave, the door is right there."

Black scoffed. "Why? So you can shoot us in the back? If we leave this army now, then we're your enemy! And we all know that no one in this army shows even a shred of mercy!"

Croco and his crooks peeked behind the cover they were hiding behind. Croco gestured for one of the crooks to run over and hide beside him behind a column.

"The door's right over there, boss! We can sneak outta here while that ninjakoopa has 'em all distracted!"

Croco nodded and responded quietly. "We have to wait. We'll keep using cover and get closer and closer to the exit. Hopefully all the troops standing near the door will be drawn away."

As Croco and his crooks began to head for the exit, jumping from cover to cover, Black kept talking.

"So what happens next? What-what do we do after your brother's dead, Trowzer?"

The koopa shrugged. "We take over the world of course. But we do it _my_ way, the _right_ way."

"And what's right in your book? Torturing people physically and psychologically? Making them hurt others they don't want to harm?"

A nasty grin showed up on Trowzer's face. "…You killed someone, didn't you?"

Black shut his mouth. The demented koopa got off the table and laughed as he walked over towards Black.

"Yeah, yeah, you did. I bet this was your first time you _really_ killed someone too, wasn't it? No wonder why you're so upset. …How'd you do it, hmm? Did you blow his brains out?"

Black started to back away when Trowzer got closer to him. "Stop…"

Trowzer took out a knife and put the blade at Black's throat. "Or maybe you crept behind him and slit his throat. All that blood gushing out of his neck, splashing all over the floor—"

"Stop it!"

"Sir, Black and his brothers aren't used to these kinds of missions. Perhaps it is best if they stay put while the rest of us go on ahead?"

"I'm sorry, Drazzik. I wasn't aware that you were commanding this army."

The Fire Bro. shut his mouth. Croco and his crooks crept towards a column not far from the door. They were almost home free.

"Now Black, I know you think of me as a 'monster,' but that's fine. You don't know what it's like to actually kill people for a living. But don't worry! Stick with me, and you and your brothers will get it right in no time at all! Trust me when I tell you that it gets easier."

Black shoved Trowzer's hand and knife away and backed up. "I don't want it to get easier."

"Then what do you want?"

"I just want all this to stop! I-I want to live in peace with my brothers and I want everyone who used to work with Bowser to realize what they've done, what they're still doing!"

"Black, you know we can't just walk outta here. You said so yourself," said Red.

"So what then? We just continue working for all these heartless bastards and waltz around murdering our friends? What would Yellow say, Red?!"

"Yellow's dead, Black! He wouldn't say anything; he can't anymore!"

That obviously hit Black hard, as he stopped talking immediately and whimpered quietly. Green couldn't help but watch as Black forced himself not to cry. Even if he wasn't as distraught as Black, he knew his brother had a right to be upset. Green hadn't even killed anyone; he had a chance to gun down Larry and chose to spare him. As Green walked over ready to comfort Black, Barry started to snicker.

"Oh boo-hoo, the whittle-old ninjakoopa is sad that his dear old brother ain't alive to wipe his tears away!"

Harry blinked and looked at his brother, as though he was about to say "did you _really_ just say that to him?" Green growled and walked over to the blue Yoshi. Before Harry could do it, Green punched the dinosaur in the nose, causing him to shout and fall to the floor. The ninjakoopa kicked Barry in the nose before getting on top of him and using his head as a punching bag. Harry backed away and grinned, happy that someone was finally giving his brother a beating he deserved months, probably years ago. As Barry's face was getting bruised and bloodied, Barry managed to grab Green's left fist. He grunted and held it, preventing Green from punching him in the eye.

"Harry! A little help here?!"

"Sorry, bro. This is what happens when you run your mouth."

Everyone just watched as Green kept beating the crap out of Barry. Even Trowzer seemed to be entertained, almost as if Green's anger delighted him. When Green's knuckles began to hurt, the ninjakoopa took out his handgun and put it against Barry's face.

"Open your mouth. OPEN IT!"

Green punched Barry in the gut, causing him to scream. Green quickly placed the barrel of the gun in the Yoshi's mouth, causing him to let out muffled protests. Harry frowned and quickly placed his gun at the back of Green's head. Some of Bowser's former troops pointed their weapons at Harry; the next thing Trowzer knew, at least twenty koopas were pointing their guns at someone.

"Hey, hey, HEY! THAT'S ENOUGH!" he shouted.

Harry exhaled. "What my brother said was inappropriate. He deserved to get the beating he just took. But despite how hot-headed Barry is, he's still my brother and I care about him, just like how you care about Black and Red. You kill him, I kill you."

Green huffed. "Your brother needs to watch his (censored) mouth."

"He's working on that—and failing miserably. But what he said ain't worth getting shot over. Now get off him and take your gun out his mouth before I put a bullet in the back of your head."

Green stared at the wounded blue Yoshi before he exhaled deeply and removed the gun. Harry slowly lowered his handgun, and the rest of the reptiles with their guns pointed at Harry or Green relaxed. Green got off the blue dinosaur, and Barry grunted as he got back to his feet.

"C'mon, Croco! Let's go! The door's right there!" said a crook.

"Not yet! We'll leave when most of 'em enter the next corridor!"

"…What if one of us is a distraction?" asked another crook.

"What?"

The crook sighed. "I'm gonna try something…when I give the signal, you guys run for the door, got it?"

"What signal? What do you plan on doing?"

"Just don't forget about me, all right?"

"Forget about you?! What the hell do you plan on doing?!"

Meanwhile, Trowzer was rubbing his forehead in frustration. "Y'know, I think we've all been sitting here too long. Break time's over! Everybody get up—"

Seconds later, one of the crooks jumped from his hiding spot and started charging towards the army. He let out a fierce battle cry before holding up two handguns and firing at everyone in Trowzer's gang. In the confusion, Kenny was hit in the forehead, and Drazzik was nearly shot in his good eye. Croco and the remaining two crooks could see that this was the signal and dashed for the door. However, the other troops noticed what Croco and his gang was doing and tried to fire at him as well, pinning them down. The crook trying to hit Trowzer rolled across the floor before lifting his guns and firing erratically, still screaming. Trowzer ducked and rolled towards cover while a dark koopatrol was shot in the face. The crook turned to his right and began to shoot at the koopas standing or sitting near the wall. Ilnyash hid in his shell while Green and Black hit the floor. Red grunted and moved backwards, as though someone had just punched him in the chest. His left eye twitched; Red noticed that something wet was dripping down his abdomen. Feeling a bit woozy, Red coughed and stepped backwards towards a Bowser pedestal.

"Red?" asked Green.

The ninjakoopa pressed his shell against the pedestal before he started to let out labored breaths. Red slowly slid down and sat on the floor. The crook had shot him in the chest, and blood was oozing out of his wound.

"RED!"

Ilnyash came out of his shell and swore when he saw the wounded ninjakoopa sitting beside the Bowser pedestal. Green and the koopatrol both rushed over to his body, checking to see how bad his wound was. A few inches to the right and Red would've been hit in the heart.

(Censored) man! Are you all right?!"

"No," said Red weakly, unable to tell Ilnyash that he just asked a stupid question.

Black looked at his dying brother before glancing over at the koopatrols who had Croco and his crooks pinned down. The crook who had shot his brother was still running around the chamber shooting guards and hiding behind any cover he could find. Black had zoned out in the midst of everything, unsure of what he should do. He didn't know whether or not he should save his brother or just leave. The door was right there; he and Green could grab the wounded ninjakoopa and sprint their way to freedom. It all seemed so simple. But when Black looked at Red and saw how much blood he was losing, the rage that had been building up inside him came out. Before Black even knew what he was doing, the ninjakoopa was snatching a pistol off the floor and walking over to where the crook was hiding and shooting Trowzer's men. He lifted the handgun and started to fire. The crook noticed Black and returned fire as soon as he could. Black kept walking forward and shooting, determined to kill the guy who just shot his older brother. When Black was close enough, he ended up hitting the crook twice in the chest. Before he could hide or do anything else, Black emptied the rest of his clip on the hooded robber, hitting him no less than six times.

Black was still squeezing the trigger by the time the crook's body hit the floor. The gun clicked multiple times, indicating that the gun was empty. But he still kept squeezing it, too angry to do anything else. Croco and his crooks were still pinned down, so the crocodile did the only thing he could right now.

"Okay, okay, okay! Stop shooting now; we're coming out!"

Croco's loud voice snapped Black out of his trance. He whimpered slightly as he looked at the dead crook, realizing that he just killed another person simply because he chose the wrong side. Black slammed the gun to the floor before he rushed over to assist Green and Ilnyash. While they were helping Red, Trowzer, Drazzik, and a few other soldiers had their guns pointed at Croco and his two crooks. They slowly came out of hiding and walked towards the middle of the chamber. Croco, surprisingly, seemed calm about the situation and started to grin.

"You got me. Is this the part where we get on our knees and beg for our lives?"

Before Trowzer could answer, Black shouted out, "Can someone please help us?!" Much to Black's surprise, the only people in the room who bothered helping were those who used to be in Bowser's army. Everyone allied with Trowzer just stood by and watched.

"What—why isn't anyone helping us?! Red's dying!" shouted Shelley.

Green put pressure on Red's wound by pressing Red's bandanna against his chest. The ninjakoopa was struggling to keep his eyes open; he was about to pass out.

"SOMEBODY (CENSORED) HELP US!" shouted Black.

A white magikoopa began to walk towards Black and the others, but Trowzer put his hand on his chest and held him back. He grinned and slowly walked towards the ninjakoopa.

"Why would I help you? I thought I was just a monster?"

"Please…he's our brother, Trowzer," Black whined.

"Forget about what Black said! Just get someone here to help us! We're not all medics, y'know!" said Shelley.

"See, Black? You're a hypocrite. Just a few minutes ago you were so pleased to call us monsters and cold-blooded murderers who get off on torturing and killing people. Now you expect us to assist you, after everything you said to us? Why _should_ we help you, Black?" asked Mel.

"I…he's our brother, Mel," said Black quietly.

Red suddenly stopped breathing and shut his eyes. "Oh my God, he stopped breathing!" said Shelley.

Green and Black started to panic, still unsure of what to do. They didn't know if CPR would work considering that the bullet was still in his chest; pressing down near it could make things worse. Croco glanced at Black and his brothers and shrugged.

"Seems like you guys are a bit busy. We'll just leave you in peace."

Croco couldn't even take one step before Trowzer fired beside his feet. The purple crocodile huffed and stopped walking.

"Damn…I was hoping that'd work."

Trowzer glanced at three white magikoopas and gestured for all of them to help Red. Mel raised an eyebrow, wondering why his leader had a change of heart.

"Sir? Did you change your mind?"

"Not exactly; we'll deal with it later. As for this little snake—"

"Hey, I'm a crocodile. Get it straight," interrupted Croco.

"Yes, of course. So I take it you're the guy who gave Team Beta so much trouble earlier?"

Croco chuckled and started to walk up to Trowzer. "Yeah, me and my guys were the ones who blew up your boys. We set up all those bulky bob-ombs and killed your men and we ain't afraid to stand right here and tell you about it."

Shannon pointed his gun at the reptile. "Good. Then we should have no problem blowing your brains out now!"

Croco scratched his chin. "Hmm, yes…yes, you could do that. Frankly, I wouldn't blame you if you did. But is that really the _smart_ choice here?"

"I lost half of my squadron because of you and your team. Give us one good reason why we shouldn't kill you and your thugs back there," said Mel.

Croco snickered. "Surely you know of the infamous Croco! The expert on bombs and thievery? I mean, Bowser gave me and my crew a couple of big bob-ombs and a few decent places to put 'em and look what happened: my guys and I alone slaughtered half your team! Now think about that for a moment; a guy like me is smart enough to kill that many people in just one attack. I'm sure your army could use a demolitions expert."

Shannon scoffed. "Typical. The coward is using his mouth to save him."

"If I recall Shannon, you do that all the time," said Mel.

Croco ignored them. "I'm not being a coward. I'm just smart enough to know when surrendering is the best option I have left."

Trowzer walked up to Croco and looked down at the reptile. The purple creature looked back up at Trowzer, and the two creatures kept grinning at each other. Trowzer growled to himself and sighed.

"Pretty bold of you to come out and admit that to us. You got balls, Croco; I'll give you that much. But tell me, how can I trust you if you join my army? How do I know you still aren't with Bowser?"

"Pfft! (Censored) him. We were just about to leave until that dead idiot over there blew our cover and came out shooting. I don't have a side here, Trowzer. I never did. I just go where the wind takes me…or coins, in this case."

"See, Trowzer? He just told us we shouldn't trust him; he's only in it for the money! Why should—"

"Shannon, shut up. Everyone lower your guns!"

Everyone in the room who had their guns pointed at Croco and the crooks put their weapons down. Trowzer chuckled to himself, still grinning.

"I like you, Croco. You almost remind me of myself: you're smart, bold, and flexible when it comes to planning your dastardly deeds. But you're not trustworthy, which means I'm gonna have to keep a close eye on you until you make me trust you. I'm sure you can find a way to pay us back for all those soldiers you killed?"

Croco shrugged. "Of course. And then it'll just be water under the bridge, right?"

Trowzer nodded. "Right. So I'll let you and your two thugs live. …But if I were you, it'd be best not to try and double-cross me."

Croco grinned and showed off all his teeth before saying, "No promises."

Trowzer smirked before he walked over to where the magikoopas were helping out Red.

"Is he gonna be fine?"

"Not if we don't hurry up and get the proper medical tools. We're gonna have to take him downstairs and heal him there."

Trowzer nodded. "Do it."

The white magikoopas all hauled Red's body off the floor and walked outside the chamber so they could head downstairs. Green was leaning next to a pedestal and Black was on his knees, practically broken. Trowzer smiled and patted Black on the shoulder.

"Cheer up, boys! Your brother's gonna be fine! I'm sure of it."

"…I guess," said Black quietly.

"You see? I _am_ capable of showing mercy and compassion."

Green sighed heavily. "Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming on?"

Trowzer grinned and looked at Green. "You must be the smart one in your family. Yes, you're right; I do require a favor from you. And when I say 'you,' I mean all three of you. This is a big deal here; I didn't have to save your brother, especially after what you said to me and my army, Black."

"Just tell us what this favor is."

Trowzer scratched his chin. "I'll think of something in the future. Don't worry about it now. Just hope that your brother pulls through."

"What if we don't want to do this…favor?" asked Black.

"Then I see no reason why I should let Red live."

"What if he lives, but we decide not to do this unknown favor after you tell us what it is?" asked Green.

"Then I guess I'll have to kill your brother, won't I?"

Black and Green looked at Trowzer with wide eyes. The sadistic koopa laughed evilly before he crouched down so he and Black were staring at each other eye to eye.

"Oh dear. I bet you weren't expecting that, were you? You see, now you _can't_ leave. …Well, no, I suppose you can. But if you do, then I see no reason why I shouldn't hunt you all down like dogs and kill you once I find you."

Trowzer laughed evilly again. "You're trapped with us. You and your brothers are part of this army until I say otherwise. And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it without facing repercussions."

Trowzer stared at the shocked look on Black's face before he stood up and patted the ninjakoopa on the shoulder.

"Cheer up guys! Now we'll have more time to get to know each other!"

Green stared at Trowzer with scorn as he turned around and began to walk away. The ninjakoopa slowly made a fist with his right hand before he slammed it against the wall.

"That son of a bitch! I can't believe we—" Green sighed and rubbed his forehead. "…Guess you were right about him, Black. Maybe we should've just left the second we found out what Trowzer planned to do tonight. …Black?"

Black was still on his knees, breathing quietly and looking down at the floor. Green nudged his shoulder, but Black acted like he didn't feel anything. The guy felt so limp that Green thought Black might fall over.

"C'mon, Black. Say something."

"Th…" Black shut his eyes and slowly shook his head. "There's no hope for us anymore, is there?"

Green didn't say anything. A tired and emotionally-mangled Black stood up and turned around to face Green. Green had never seen Black like this before. His brother looked like he had given up on everything in life.

"There's just…there's nothing left, Green…nothing…"

Black turned around and sluggishly walked over to rejoin Trowzer's gang, leaving Green to wonder about the future, about what "favor" Trowzer planned on making them do. But more importantly, Green wondered what Black would do if this pain and senseless madness continued.

* * *

Kooper and Geno weren't doing much better than the Koopa Bros. Both of them had been upset over what happened with Bosley and Eddard, and with Hooktail gone and the Mario Bros. no longer with them, they seemed rather lonely on Yoshi's Island. Both of them were following Tallard, the leader of the group of Yoshi rebels they rescued. No one had said a thing since Hooktail had left. Kooper couldn't help but mull over everything that had happened. Hundreds, maybe thousands of Yoshis had been killed for reasons they still didn't understand. The blue-shelled koopa looked all around his settings and noticed that several trees had been charred by Dracolin. Some of the branches still hung onto what was left of some trees, but now they were just tiny pieces of kindling. Kooper and the rebels had spotted several bodies as they made their way to the hut beside one of the beaches. Kooper was so used to the stench and the revolting sight that he didn't even gag or retch. It was almost as if seeing a pile of dead dinosaurs was normal for him now.

The group walked for several more minutes before they finally arrived to the beach. Other rebels were located there and guarding the area. Tallard, not in much of a mood for talking, walked up into the enormous hut and opened the door. Kooper, Geno, and all the other rebels followed him inside.

"We'll rest here for a while, make a new set of plans in the morning. We'll sleep in shifts so everyone gets a fair amount of rest. Denny, Carla and I will take watch outside while the rest of you can sleep or do whatever. Just don't wander off."

Everyone agreed without protest. One of the Yoshis threw himself on a bed the second Tallard and the others left the hut. A few other Yoshis decided to get some sleep too, but a couple of them were too nervous or alert to pass out now, so they spent their time looking out the windows for intruders. Kooper sat down on the floor beside the bed, as opposed to actually resting on the comfortable mattress.

"Don't you wanna sleep on the bed instead?" asked a green Yoshi.

Kooper shook his head. "Don't matter to me."

The Yoshi shrugged. "Your loss."

The green Yoshi flopped on the bed instead of Kooper and sighed deeply before he shut his eyes and went to sleep. Geno walked over to Kooper and noticed that he was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You sure you don't want to sleep on a bed?"

"I don't…" Kooper exhaled and shook his head. "What are we doing here?"

"We're resting until dawn."

"No, what are we doing _here_, on this island?"

"We're trying to stop Trowzer's goons from taking over the island. You know that."

Kooper scoffed. "Like we're any help. What have we done in the past few hours that have gotten us remotely closer to stopping this invasion?"

"For starters, we've disposed of Dracolin."

"Hooktail did that, not us. And she killed him only _after_ he burned down a village and crushed a child to death."

"Well…we've freed a handful of rebels, and now they're assisting us in the assault against these shady koopas."

"And how long will it be until they end up dead or recaptured? We're focusing all our time and resources on the small things, Geno. We can't keep spending our time running around rescuing rebels who will only help us out a little bit."

"But the more rebels we rescue, the stronger our numbers will be, and the easier it'll be to take out these shady koopas."

"It's not about numbers. It's about experience and skill—those koopas have made it pretty clear that they're professionals when it comes to handling the weapons we've seen. …Maybe we made a mistake, Geno. Maybe we shouldn't have split up back at Bowser's castle. If the Mario Bros. were here, I'm sure they'd figure out what to do."

"I'm sure they're handling Trowzer just fine. You can't think like this, Kooper. You have to believe that we're going to win; thinking negatively is what causes failure. Sure, we might not have the same resources and weapons as these shady koopas, but you, me, Mario, his brother—we've all been through worse than this. Just stay positive, Kooper, and we'll be fine."

"Do you honestly believe that? Look at this situation realistically instead of positively. Unless we find a decent amount of help soon, do you think we stand a chance at taking this island back? Or are you just telling me all this to try and make me feel better?"

Geno didn't have an answer for that. He just stared at Kooper, unsure of what he should say. The doll thought about lying to the turtle, but realistically, the chances of them retaking the island was diminutive. Kooper got tired of waiting for an answer, so he sighed heavily and leaned back against the wall.

"Thought so."

"Look, Kooper—"

"Geno, I'm tired. I know you're trying to help and you want me to feel better…but I just don't wanna hear it now."

Kooper started to shut his eyelids and breathed slowly. "I need some rest, Geno. Wake me up if something important happens."

Geno didn't want to argue with the blue-shelled reptile, so he just nodded and said, "Okay." Kooper finally closed his eyes and began to nod off, hoping that everything would be better in the morning.

* * *

"Kooper? Hey, Kooper! Wake up!"

The koopa slowly opened his eyes and saw a big black nose and two eyes in front of him. He mumbled to himself before he noticed that it wasn't so dark anymore. Dawn had arrived, and although clouds filled the sky, it was much brighter outside.

"Wake up!"

Kooper shut his eyes and groaned. "Yeah, yeah, I'm up. What is it Denny?"

"You need to get a weapon now. Don't panic—just, just listen to me. They found us."

Kooper was wide awake now. "What?!"

"I-I don't know how, but they did! I was just walking through the forest—I know Tallard told me not to wander off, but there's these juicy melons that only grow on certain trees—"

"Just shut up and tell me what happened!"

"Right, sorry. Uh, so I was looking for these melons and I saw two shady koopas hiding in a bush. When I started to move away from 'em so I wouldn't get caught, I saw more of them walking towards us; they were hiding in the trees. I think we're surrounded, actually."

Kooper quickly got up and ran over to one of the windows. He and Geno looked outside and noticed that several shady koopas armed to the teeth were advancing towards the large hut.

"Oh, (censored)," said Kooper.

* * *

Everyone had to stop. They couldn't keep running. Roy, Larry, and Murray were dragging their feet across the floor, but even they were tired. The whole army could barely stand, let alone run away from Towzer's goons. Roy stopped walking and turned around to look at the army, all of whom was too busy sitting down catching their breath or splayed out all over the floor.

"Come on! We're…we're getting closer to the exit! Just…just a little further!" said a tired Roy.

Kammy Koopa exhaled; she was lying on the floor. "Some of us…can't go any further. We can't keep running like…like this."

"We have to, Kammy! Everytime we stop in a room, Trowzer's gang finds us and kills off a portion of this army! It's like a broken record; we can't keep stopping anymore!" said Wendy.

Kammy Koopa panted again. "You do not understand: some of us physically _can't_ go on! Do…do you wanna carry us to the exit?"

"If that's what we gotta do."

"That'll slow us down, sis. You know that," said Junior.

"We could always…you know, leave some of them here—"

"Shut up, Roy! We're not leaving the weak here to let them get killed!"

"Not all of us are too banged up anyways! I only got shot in the arm!" said Tutankoopa.

"So what do you propose we do then, Wendy? Let all the slow and wounded drag us down so the rest of us who can still run get slaughtered?"

"You are such an asshole, Roy!"

"Guys, we have to figure out—"

"SHUT UP!" bellowed Larry.

Everyone in the oversized chamber stopped talking. Larry rubbed his forehead. "I need to see you guys for a moment."

Roy, Murray, Junior, and Wendy stood in front of Larry as he stood near a corner in the chamber. The blue-haired koopaling breathed heavily before he exhaled deeply and made his decision.

"Roy's right. Someone has to stay behind to distract Trowzer's forces. If we keep going this slowly, they'll catch up and kill all of us. But if someone stays behind and distracts them for a while, it might give you all time to escape."

"You can't be serious," said Wendy.

Larry nodded. "I am. …That's why I'm staying here."

Everyone went silent and stared at Larry with wide eyes. Junior slowly began to shake his head.

"No…no, you-you're not doing that. You know what Trowzer will probably do—"

"I know."

"Let us stay with you, Larry! You don't have to do this—"

"Goddamnit, Larry! Do not pick tonight to be a hero!" snarled Roy.

"This is pointless, Larry! Trowzer will kill you in a matter of seconds and then they'll catch up to us anyway!" said Murray.

"No, he won't. The secret exit out of this castle is behind a door that looks no different than these walls here. There's a gold and platinum chain hanging from the ceiling a few chambers away from here. All you gotta do is tug that chain down and the door will slide open. The second it closes after you walk inside, you'll all be hidden behind what looks like a wall. So unless Trowzer goes crazy and tries to demolish the castle walls, you guys should be fine."

"But what about you, Larry?! How are you—"

"I know where the exit is. I'll just…hold Trowzer back for as long as I can, and then after he's finished with me, I'll regroup with you guys. Hopefully Trowzer will bring his whole army with him to take down Bowser and won't leave any of them in the same room with the secret exit."

"…This is suicide, Larry," said Murray softly.

Larry smiled. "You told me I need to step up. You told me that there might be a situation where I have to choose to save—"

"That," Murray stammered. "I-I didn't mean like this, Larry! I didn't mean right now!"

"Now's the perfect time, Murray. When else—"

Roy grabbed Larry by the throat and slammed him to the wall. "You son of a bitch! You don't get to decide when you live and die! You're not gonna stay here so you can get killed! If you die, I'll…I'll kill you! Do you hear me?!"

Roy let go of Larry's neck. The koopaling coughed a few times and laughed. "That's funny…you'll kill me if I die?"

"Larry, please. I know I've been mad at you about my wife, but this isn't the way to deal with that!" said Murray.

"This isn't just about her, Murray. It…" Larry sighed and remembered what someone told him not too long ago. "Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice in order to protect someone or something you care about most. If I stay behind, then at least the rest of you will live."

Junior's eyes started to water. "Stop talking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like we're never gonna see you again!" shouted Wendy.

Larry sighed. "I'll be okay…really. You guys just need to get everyone out here."

"At least let us stay with you, fight alongside you!" protested Roy.

"You can't do that. We don't know where Lemmy, Morton, or Ludwig is. At least one of you needs to survive to keep this empire going, in case Dad can't defeat Trowzer by himself. You know he's not coming with us; this is personal to him. He needs to stay. But you guys still have a chance. And I'm telling you right now that you need to get out of here."

"Larry—"

"I'm not arguing with you about this anymore. We don't have time. Get all the troops ready so you guys can leave."

"…If you're not back in a half-hour or an hour, we're coming back for you," said Junior.

"I could be dead by then."

"We don't care, Larry! We're not leaving your body here for those butchers to rip apart!"

Larry huffed. "Fine…I guess that's fair. Just be careful you don't get caught if you have to come back for me."

"But you're _going_ to come back, Larry. You're coming back," stated Roy.

"Of course…right."

There was a brief silence that went on longer than it should. Suddenly, Wendy and Junior both rushed towards Larry and hugged him tightly. The blue-haired koopaling grunted as he almost had the breath squeezed out of him. Junior sniffled as a tear ran down his face, and Wendy noticed that she was struggling to hold her tears back too. Murray shook his head and sighed before he stood in the middle of the chamber and addressed the army. While he was busy shouting for everyone to get up and head for the secret exit, Wendy and Junior finished hugging Larry and backed away. But Roy just stared at him with an ugly frown on his face. Larry grinned.

"What? No hug for your little brother?"

Roy's definition of "hugging" was to punch Larry in the nose and knock him down. The burly and unhygienic koopaling breathed heavily before he shouted at Larry.

"YOU COME BACK! You…you come back, Larry!"

Larry rubbed his nose and huffed. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

No one said goodbye; that would just imply that they knew he wouldn't be coming back. So Roy, Junior and Wendy looked at Larry for a brief moment before they slowly moved backwards and joined the army. Everyone was still sluggishly dragging their feet across the floor—some of them even had to be carried out the chamber. But it didn't matter now. All Larry needed to do was distract Trowzer long enough for them to be free. A few soldiers wondered why Larry wasn't doing anything, but the koopaling just smirked and said he'll catch up after getting his breath back. About four minutes later, everyone in the chamber was gone, and the thick metal doors slammed shut. …Well, everyone was gone except Tutankoopa, General Guy, and the Boomerang Bro. Henson. Larry looked at the three of them and sighed deeply.

"Did Murray tell you?"

"We're not idiots, Larry. I know what you're doing. I'm a general after all; I know when a soldier plans on sacrificing his or herself for the greater good. Besides, I can see it in your eyes…you need to do this, don't you?" asked General Guy.

Larry nodded. "Yes."

"Then we're staying with you," said Tutankoopa.

"I don't have time to argue—"

"I told you that I'd be standing alongside you the moment we bash Trowzer's head in. Why wait? Now seems like the perfect opportunity for that to happen," said Henson.

"You need our help anyway, Larry. You wouldn't be able to hold off Trowzer for more than a few minutes without us," said Tutankoopa.

Larry slowly walked away from the wall. "I suppose you're right."

General Guy, Tutankoopa, and Henson began to take positions in the chamber while Larry stood a few feet away from the door his brothers and sister just walked through. He stared at the door for a very long time, his mind flooding with all the memories he had of them when he was younger, all the obnoxious pranks they played on each other. It filled him with a deep sense of nostalgia and sadness. It seemed like forever since he and Lemmy were tossing water balloons filled with oil out of a moving plane onto a bunch of koopas filming a "typical" day in Bowser's life. He felt like laughing at the memory, but instead, he just started to tear up. Larry sighed and whined softly before he started to cry silently to himself. Henson was busy walking around the chamber when he headed over to Larry again and snickered.

"Guess it's time for us to show Trowzer what we're made of, eh, Larry?"

Henson heard Larry sob quietly as he had his head down.

"Larry?"

Henson stood beside Larry as he lifted his head. His face was covered in tears. Henson breathed heavily and suddenly lost his cocky attitude.

"We're not getting out of here alive, are we?"

Larry just shook his head and answered quietly.

"No."


	53. Run Turtle Junk, part 12

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Kooper, Geno, and the other Yoshis defend their hideout from Marcus and his shady koopas, and Larry finally confronts Trowzer.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 12)**

**A/N: Okay, **_**this**_** is the last violence/gore warning. Again, still debating if this story should just be rated "M" to be on the safe side. But since there are only a few more chapters to go, I'm sure these warnings should suffice.**

Kooper started to pant heavily. He must have slept too long if the enemy had already found them. He swore again and began to look around, trying to make sure everyone was accounted for.

"(Censored)! Where the hell's Carla and Tallard?!"

Denny shrugged. "Tallard just took off when he saw the shady koopas coming this way. Carla…I dunno; I think she's dead."

Geno blinked and looked at the advancing shady koopas. "Everyone remain calm. They don't appear to have spotted us yet. Perhaps they believe we're sleeping."

As Kooper glanced outside, he saw an orange blur tackle one of the nearby shady koopas to the ground. The shady koopa couldn't even scream before the entity that attacked him dragged him into a set of bushes. Kooper saw the bushes rustling, unaware that the figure attacking the hostile just snapped his neck. Tallard quickly got out the bushes and ran back to the hut, carrying a walkie-talkie and an assault rifle with him.

"They got us surrounded," said the Yoshi.

"Yes, we can see that. What the (censored) do we do now?" asked Kooper.

The Yoshi shrugged. "Nothing we can do except hold 'em off. Since Carla's not here, I'm guessing they either captured or killed her. I need two of you to stay in this hut and provide us cover fire in case we're pinned down. The rest of you will come with me and take positions around the beach. With any luck we might be able to push them back."

"Guess we don't have any other plans here. Let's move!"

Geno, Kooper, and the other dinosaurs grabbed any weapons they could carry and ran outside the hut. Many of them took cover behind large rocks or the tall trees overlooking the area. The beach was only a few feet away from the forests, so a handful of Yoshis were able to hide inside several bushes for better cover. Kooper breathed heavily as he spread apart some of the leaves in the bushes and looked to his right. More shady koopas were advancing towards the hut.

"What do we need that radio for?" asked Kooper.

Tallard didn't answer; the radio did it for him. He held it up as it emitted a loud burst of static.

"Don't let your guard down; they might not be asleep after all. Spread out and secure the area on the left. I wouldn't be surprised if they have an ambush waiting for us."

The radio emitted more static again, and Tallard grinned slightly. "Now we can hear what moves they plan on making. They're coming this way. You guys ready?"

Kooper, Geno, and two other Yoshi rebels nodded. "Yeah, we're ready."

Tallard nodded. "Let's do this."

The orange Yoshi stood up and pointed his rifle forward. A shady koopa standing a few feet away from him reacted one second too late; he was shot in the face by Tallard just as the koopa raised his handgun. Some of the shady koopas standing behind the first victim didn't make it either. Kooper and the others rose from the bushes and fired erratically, gunning down three other assailants. One of the shady koopas covered his ears as the gunfire nearly deafened him. He hurriedly took out his radio and alerted the rest of the team about the attack.

"MARCUS! THEY KNOW WE'RE HERE; WE'RE TAKING FIRE!"

The shady koopa slowly crawled backwards before he waited for one of the rebels to run out of bullets. Then he stood up and began to fire at Kooper and the gang with his submachine gun. Geno, Tallard and one of the rebels sprinted to their left and dove behind a large rock. The green Yoshi rebel standing beside Kooper was gunned down in only a matter of seconds. The blue-shelled koopa hit the ground and covered his head as bullets whizzed by. But unfortunately, the shady koopa ran out of ammo too. He swore and began to back away to look for cover.

"How many are there?!" shouted Marcus through the walkie-talkie.

"I don't know, at least five—"

The shady koopa grunted when Kooper stood up and shot him in the stomach. He coughed and felt his knees shake, but the shady koopa still had enough power in him to raise his weapon and take out Kooper. Unfortunately, Kooper shot first. He hit the shady koopa in the chest twice before shooting him in the throat. Immediately afterwards, he threw himself on the ground again and started to crawl forward. His heart racing, Kooper panted as he neared the shady koopa's corpse. He reached forward and snatched the assailant's radio before he waited for the gunfire to stop. Moments later, he got back up and started to run for more cover. The blue-shelled koopa barely got behind a palm tree before he was pinned down. Kooper crouched down and swore as bullets began to tear the tree apart. He slowly peeked around the tree to see where the assailants were. Three of them were running towards his position carrying automatic weapons. The two Yoshis in the hut noticed Kooper was in trouble and decided to act. They pointed their submachine guns outside and fired at the shady koopas. Two of them went down while the last one was wounded. Kooper took a chance and ran to the giant rock Tallard and the others were hiding behind.

The wounded shady koopa dragged himself to the bushes Kooper and the others were recently hiding behind whilst Kooper slid across the sand and regrouped with Tallard.

"Marcus! We need more men down here! Bring in the reinforcements!" shouted the wounded shady koopa through the radio.

Geno sighed. "I figured that would happen. We'd better split up! Half the rebels will defend the beach and the other half will defend the forest area around the hut! We don't need to kill them all; we just need to hold them off until they retreat!"

Tallard ducked when two bullets ricocheted off the rock. "Sounds like a plan! MOVE!"

Geno and the two Yoshis from the hut provided cover fire for everybody as they split up. Tallard and three rebels ran to the left and began to take out some of the troops on the beach. Kooper and two others headed over to the bushes again and attacked the enemy from there. Geno fired hundreds of stars from his artificial arms, hitting and wounding several enemies nearby. Tallard and the white Yoshi standing beside him were more than happy to blast two assailants away with their assault rifles. Kooper and the other rebels crouched down and crept through the bushes very slowly, hoping they could sneak up on an enemy. The three of them placed their bellies flat on the soil as a shady koopa sprinted in their direction, attempting to take over the hut. The purple Yoshi lying down beside Kooper ambushed the koopa; he took out a crude knife and stabbed the shady koopa in the chest. But instead of tossing him aside, the purple Yoshi turned his body around and used him as a shield. Kooper and the other Yoshi—a pink one—fired at the shady koopas on the beach. One of them shouted after getting hit in the arm and crouched down behind a giant rock; the other one was shot in the face twice.

The purple Yoshi's plan of using the shady koopa as a shield backfired very fast. Lugging the shady koopa's body around slowed his movement, and his foes were shooting at him with assault rifles. Three shady koopas were all firing at the purple dinosaur; the bullets tore through the shield's flesh and bone. Unfortunately, several bullets passed right through the body and into the dinosaur's midriff. The purple Yoshi grunted a few times before the pain became too much and he dropped the corpse. Defenseless, the Yoshi could do nothing as the shady koopas riddled his body with bullets. Kooper swore before he pointed his handgun at the foes and fired back, hitting one in the abdomen twice. The pink Yoshi sprinted to her left while shooting at the assailants simultaneously. She took cover behind the rock Geno was crouching behind and reloaded. Kooper did the same, just barely making it and dodging a bullet that almost hit him in the shoulder. The walkie-talkie he was carrying emitted more static.

"Marcus! This isn't going as planned; we're losing more men than we should! When the hell are reinforcements showing up?!" shouted a shady koopa through his walkie-talkie.

There was a click, and then someone else's voice was heard over the walkie-talkie. "Just hold out for a few more minutes! They'll be here shortly!"

Kooper smirked. "This might work out after all. Just keep firing!"

Geno and the pink Yoshi nodded. Kooper sprinted over to the palm trees and rocks Tallard and the others were taking cover behind on the beach. However, when he got there, he noticed that Tallard and his rebels didn't need much help. Denny was pulling his weight and taking out shady koopas with dual handguns. He zigzagged his way around the sandy beach firing off rounds until both guns were empty. Once the magazines had no more bullets in them, he rolled his way behind a rock and reloaded his weapons. Realizing a shady koopa was nearby, Denny glanced around and snatched a huge red crabber off the ground. Denny kept the crabber away as he beleaguered it by holding it upside-down. The shady koopa found Denny behind the rock and pointed his submachine gun at him. Denny quickly threw the crabber on the assailant's face. The shady koopa shouted and tried to pry the crab off his face, just when it snapped at his nose with one of its claws. The shady koopa screamed moments before Tallard shot the shady koopa in the throat. Frightened, the crabber quickly skittered off the koopa's face and retreated back to shore. Kooper was almost grinning; so many shady koopas had been killed already, and they had only lost a couple of Yoshis.

"MARCUS! WHERE THE FU—"

The shady koopa on the other end of the walkie-talkie went silent after the pink Yoshi taking cover beside Geno shot him. Tallard snickered.

"Keep this up and we might be able to retake this island ourselves! We won't need that dragon's help at all!" said Tallard.

"We gotta find Marcus! If he's dead, half the army will lose their morale!" said Denny.

"Which one is he?!" asked Kooper.

"The big ugly guy with a scar under his left eye! Trust me; you'll recognize him when you see him!"

A small amount of sand shot up right next to Kooper. The turtle raised an eyebrow and noticed a tiny hole was in the ground.

"The hell?"

There was a faint splattering sound, followed by a large thud. Kooper and Denny looked next to the trees and saw a white Yoshi rebel lying on the ground with a bullet hole in his head.

"(Censored). THERE'S A SNIP—"

Denny shouted when a bullet silently zipped through the air and hit him in his right hand. He collapsed to his knees and grasped his wound.

"GOD, MY HAND!"

Tallard flinched when another bullet whizzed past his face and hit a small area in front of him. "Just stay put! Sooner or later, that sniper's gonna—"

The pink Yoshi shooting the shady koopas grunted when the sniper shot her in the abdomen. She fell backwards and didn't move. The orange Yoshi growled to himself before he peeked around the corner of the tree. He shouted when the sniper nearly shot his nose off. They needed to relocate, and fast.

"FALL BACK TO THE HUT!" he eventually shouted.

Kooper and Geno stood side by side as they fought the shady koopas. More of them had revealed themselves, and they were steadily advancing on the hut's position. Another rebel walking backwards beside Tallard shouted when he was blasted in the chest by the sniper. Panicked, Denny sprinted towards the hut and threw himself inside. Kooper managed to wound a shady koopa before he ran out of bullets and swore with frustration. He and Geno slowly entered the hut while Tallard stayed outside so he could shoot one last shady koopa in the chest multiple times. He took cover against the hut just seconds before the sniper fired again. The orange Yoshi walked into the hut and began to fire at the shady koopas through the window. However, moments after he started to shoot, someone began to shout into the radio.

"STOP! EVERYBODY STOP FIRING!"

A few more bullets erupted from their weapons, but once the shady koopas stopped firing, so did the rebels. Kooper and Tallard looked outside the window and saw a lone shady koopa walking up towards the hut.

"I'm guessing that's Marcus," said Kooper.

Tallard nodded. "Yeah, it is. I bet that coward wants to negotiate with us now or call some kind of temporary truce with us."

When Marcus was close enough to the hut, Kooper and Geno could see that he stood out from everyone else. His skin was paler than an average shady koopa's, and the scar beneath his left eye went all the way down to his chin. There were bags under his red veiny eyes; he looked like a koopa who was recovering from a hangover, not a commander who was somehow capable of leading a genocide on an island this huge. Before Marcus could get closer to the hut, one of the rebels shot at his feet a few times, stopping him in his tracks.

"That's close enough! Another step and the next bullet's goin' in your balls!" said Tallard over the walkie-talkie.

Marcus blinked and scoffed before he responded back. "Aren't you colorful? I guess I'd better stay still then, huh?"

"Just shut up and tell us why you stopped firing on us."

"Why? Because we've won, that's why. You all scattered for cover the second my sniper showed up. And in the next ten or twenty minutes, reinforcements are gonna come here and raid that hut and kill everyone inside. Is that really what you want?"

Tallard snickered. "We're right here, Marcus! If you want us so badly, why don't you come get us yourself?!"

Geno snatched the radio away from Tallard. "As much as I appreciate your spirit, my friend and I didn't come all this way just to get butchered because of your loud mouth. We need to stay alive so we can take this island back."

Geno spoke to Marcus through the walkie-talkie. "Okay, so you've won the battle. Why haven't you captured or killed us yet? What do you want?"

"Who is this?"

"That doesn't matter. Just tell us what you want before some of the Yoshis in here get too trigger-happy."

"All I want is for you to come out the hut. You have my word that you won't be killed. There's no need for more bloodshed—we've both suffered enough losses. Just make it easy on yourself and get out here."

Geno sighed. "You know we can't do that."

"Why not? Cause you don't trust me?"

"That's exactly why. How do we know you'll keep your word?"

"You don't. But one way or another, you're coming outside."

Geno slammed the walkie-talkie down on a table in the hut. Kooper shook his head and used the radio he stole to talk to Marcus. "Listen pal, you're not getting us to come outside no matter how hard you try. Why don't you do the world a favor and leave this island so these Yoshis can live in peace? Or you can just lie down in a ditch and blow your brains out. Either one works for us."

Marcus lowered his radio and rubbed his forehead. After sighing deeply, he responded to Kooper again. "I don't have time for this. We'll do it the hard way."

Marcus whistled loudly and gestured for two shady koopas to gather something from the forest. They disappeared into the trees for a moment before they returned shoving a blue Yoshi and a young yellow Yoshi over towards the hut. Both of them had their hands tied behind their backs and looked like they had been beaten up overnight. It was Bosley and Eddard. The shady koopas shoved Bosley and Eddard in front of Marcus before forcing them to get on their knees. Panting, Bosley swore at one of the koopas and wound up getting kicked in the face. Marcus gestured for the two koopas to leave before he held up his walkie-talkie and started to speak again.

"I don't suppose you recognize these two dinosaurs, do you?"

"You son of a bitch! If you—"

Tallard held Kooper back and pinned him to the wall. "He's bluffing. He just wants to piss you off so you make a mistake."

"Ned's out there, Tallard! You know what Marcus is probably—"

"I know, Denny. …Maybe we'll just have to accept it."

Marcus kept speaking. "No, no, I'm not bluffing. The one thing you all need to know is that I am not a patient shady koopa. Now, I _can_ wait for reinforcements, but that's too long and it's not as fun. Lucky for me and my crew, we stumbled upon these two last night and captured them as a bargaining chip in case we ran into a situation like this. So, let me rephrase my offer: come outside now, and I won't kill these dinosaurs. Now you may not care about the blue one, but this other Yoshi here doesn't even look like he's a teenager yet. Do you _really_ want his death on your conscience?"

"Tallard, let me go!" shouted Kooper.

"I told you: he's bluffing!"

"They have Eddard, Tallard! They captured a kid and they're threatening to kill him!" shouted a female yellow Yoshi.

"I'm aware of that, Sandra."

"Then let us get out of here before Marcus kills him," said Geno.

"No."

"Tick-tock, gentlemen. I'm starting to get bored here. …Do you want me to start the countdown now?"

Tallard grabbed the radio from Kooper. "You can go fu—"

Denny punched Tallard in the back of his head with his good hand and grabbed the walkie-talkie after he dropped it on the floor. "Listen, wait…we-we need more time. You can be reasonable, right? This isn't an easy decision to make!"

"Yeah, it is. Either you come outside or I kill these two Yoshis. Is it really _that_ hard to figure out?"

"Just give us some time! Just a few minutes! If we don't come outside by then, you can do whatever you want!"

Marcus sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Very well then. I suppose it won't kill me to spare you guys some time. You got three minutes to come up with a decision. When the time's up, I'm gonna put a gun to this blue Yoshi's head, and then I'm gonna blow his brains out in front of this kid. And then…I'm gonna do the same thing to the kid. You're all gonna watch him die, and then you're all gonna blame yourselves for being too much of a coward to do the smart thing to save him."

"How ironic. The man who's threatening an innocent child is calling _us_ cowards," said Geno.

Marcus ignored him. "Three minutes."

Marcus looked at the watch on his right arm and blinked.

"Starting…now."

* * *

They were ready. They knew they would most likely die. They knew their deaths probably wouldn't be painless. But they didn't care. The three koopas and shy guy all stood in the chamber, waiting for Trowzer and his army to arrive. Larry thought he'd be more nervous now, but a strange sense of pride was washing over him. Having Tutankoopa, General Guy, and Henson at his side made him more comfortable too. Larry sighed deeply before he glanced at his three companions.

"Remember, try not to show any fear. We're not gonna give this asshole the satisfaction of knowing we died trying to run away like cowards," said Larry.

"I know," said General Guy.

"As long as everyone else gets outta here, that's all that matters," said Tutankoopa.

The door several feet ahead of them rumbled. Larry took a deep breath and got himself ready.

"I guess this is it."

"Don't worry, Larry. We got your back," said General Guy.

Everyone stared at the doors as they rumbled a couple more times; someone on the other side was pounding on it multiple times. After a brief pause, the person on the other side shouted and slammed his entire body into the door, causing it to open. Unsurprisingly, Trowzer came running forward, bursting into the chamber with his army at his side. He panted a few times as his soldiers followed him in. Trowzer looked around the large room and started to giggle to himself.

"Is…no, this-this can't be right. There's only four of you guarding this chamber?"

Some of the soldiers lifted their weapons. Trowzer held up a fist and signaled everyone to hold their fire.

"Slaughtering these four figures with your guns? That would be too easy—it'd feel like cheating to me."

"Are you sure, sir?" asked Shannon.

Trowzer nodded as he approached the four figures. When he was close enough to identify them, the giant koopa laughed.

"Larry! So glad I could run into you again! How are you doing, my dear old nephew?"

Larry didn't answer. He scowled as he looked up at his half-uncle. Trowzer nodded and laughed again.

"Yeah, I know you're absolutely ecstatic to see me! Your army looks a little small though. Don't tell me everyone left you behind?"

Larry changed the subject. He didn't want to accidentally give away everyone's position. "You killed my brother."

Trowzer shook his head. "Not in person, no. I had two of my men do that."

"You've been plotting against us this whole time," said Henson.

Trowzer grinned. "Of course."

"All you care about is yourself and your quest for power. You're willing to kill your own brother and nephews and niece because of it," said Tutankoopa.

Trowzer shrugged. "So?"

"I don't know what you did with Lemmy, Morton or Ludwig, but this all ends here. Right now. You're not hurting anyone else in this family—not while we're around."

Trowzer's grin grew wider. "Guess I'll just have to kill you then!"

As Trowzer prepared himself to attack Larry and his friends, Shannon, Drazzik, and a few other soldiers began to join the fight.

"Don't anyone interfere! I'll do this myself!" he snarled.

Shannon and the others stopped moving and watched their leader at a distance, ready to help him should he need it. Trowzer took out two long knives before he twirled them around and growled menacingly.

"Your move, Larry."

Larry shouted as he charged forward, ready to punch Trowzer in the face. Trowzer anticipated this, and promptly side-stepped the koopaling. However, Tutankoopa reacted just as fast; he pulled out a buzzy beetle shell and kicked it at Trowzer. The shell bounced off his big nose, making him slightly stunned. General Guy took out a bob-omb and chucked it at the giant koopa, but he rolled out the way before it exploded. Henson shouted and tossed his boomerang, hoping to hit Trowzer in the head with it. Trowzer ducked and slashed at Henson, trying to slice his throat wide open. Just as he almost hit him, the boomerang came back and clocked Trowzer in the back of the skull. He shouted, just when Larry came back around and jump-kicked Trowzer in the nose. Showing no mercy, Tutankoopa lifted his arms and quickly summoned a giant chomp. Trowzer dove forward moments before the chomp crashed into the floor. The subsequent tremors caused debris to fall from the ceiling. Before Trowzer could even look up, a slab of concrete hit him in the skull. He nearly fell to the floor, obviously hurt by the falling debris. Larry and Henson smirked.

"I knew it. You're all talk and no walk. You go around here with all your pride, dishing out any snide remark you can, when deep down you're just a gnat who can't even defend himself."

Trowzer shook his head and recovered from the dizziness. "Oh no, you've hurt my poor, poor feelings. I shall go crawl under a large rock and cry myself to sleep."

"Enough with your sarcasm! Now you'll see what it finally feels like to go up against worthy opponents!" shouted Tutankoopa.

Tutankoopa charged towards Trowzer as he let out a long battle cry. He jumped up and tried to punch Trowzer in the face twice, but the behemoth ducked both times. Before Tutankoopa could punch him again, Trowzer quickly stabbed him in his gut. General Guy, Henson, and Larry Koopa all gasped as the pharaoh was stabbed. Tutankoopa's eyes grew wide as he felt incredible pain in his abdomen. He let out a tiny whimper before Trowzer growled and stabbed him in the stomach again. Blood spewed from Tutankoopa's mouth; the giant koopa shoved Tutankoopa to the wall and slowly lifted him into the air with his left hand. Still pinned against the wall, Tutankoopa coughed up more blood before he glanced over at Larry and smiled slightly.

"Larry? It…it was an honor fighting…fighting alongside you…"

Tutankoopa was still smiling when Trowzer lifted his knife and slashed Tutankoopa's throat. More blood erupted from Tutankoopa's mouth. It sprayed all over Trowzer and dripped onto the floor very quickly. Trowzer dropped Tutankoopa's body like it was a useless rag doll and turned around. His three foes couldn't do anything. Tutankoopa's quick death paralyzed them all to the bone. Trowzer laughed.

"Hmm…just three now."

General Guy attacked first, letting out a battle cry as he charged forward. He slammed into Trowzer's gut, but he wasn't heavy enough to knock Trowzer to the floor. Larry and Henson attacked directly afterwards; the Boomerang Bro. tossed his boomerang while simultaneously running towards his enemy. Meanwhile, Larry kicked Trowzer in the knee so hard it almost left a bruise. Before Trowzer could scream, Larry upper-cutted him and shut his mouth. Trowzer snarled and lifted his knife just when the boomerang came back. It knocked the knife out his hand; Henson lifted his hands and caught both the knife and the boomerang. Trowzer found him ducking, dodging and side-stepping as all three of them attacked him simultaneously. Trowzer still had another knife, but the tide was slowly turning now that Henson had a lethal weapon. Everyone in Trowzer's army had their fingers on the trigger of their guns. They wanted to see Trowzer kill all three of them on his own, but if things went wrong, they were prepared to defend him. The koopas who had defected from Bowser's army were feeling even worse about themselves. Some of them were too ashamed to even look at the fight going on with Trowzer and three people who used to be their friends or coworkers.

Trowzer tripped Larry before he turned around and punched Henson in the face four times. Then he shouted when General Guy kicked a bob-omb at him and hit him in the head. The small explosive went off, filling Trowzer's ears with an irritating ringing noise. Larry got back up and twirled his wand around before unleashing a magical attack. He hit Trowzer in the face with the spell. Trowzer shook his head and snarled before he spotted General Guy and Larry coming towards him. Trowzer punched Larry in the face so hard that he fell on the floor. Meanwhile, Trowzer kicked General Guy in the stomach three times while simultaneously parrying a knife attack from Henson. Trowzer lashed his claws at the Boomerang Bro., leaving very large marks on his face. Then he grabbed General Guy by the throat and pinned him to the wall. He snarled viciously before taking his knife and driving it deep into General Guy's chest. Blood started to stain his military outfit; General Guy felt the pain instantly. But instead of moaning or pleading for his life, he started to chuckle.

"That…that the best you got?"

Trowzer snarled and violently stabbed him in the chest four more times; he stabbed so hard that the blade cut through the bone. A nasty grin showed up on Trowzer's face, and he slowly moved the knife down, disemboweling the military shy guy. With only one move left, General Guy pulled out a bob-omb and stomped on Trowzer's foot. Trowzer screamed, and General Guy shoved the bob-omb so far into his mouth that it was almost lodged in his throat.

"Go…go to hell," said General Guy, before sliding down to the floor and taking his last breath.

Larry was just starting to get up when Trowzer began to let out choking gasps. He grabbed his neck and squeezed as hard as he could, desperately trying to force the bob-omb out his throat. He staggered with a surprised look on his face and tried to regurgitate multiple times, retching and hacking as the bob-omb began to turn red. Trowzer could feel his throat burning; the fuse had been lit and smoke was filling his mouth. He thought about burning the bob-omb with his breath, but doing so could cause it to explode and destroy his head. So he got on the floor and retched multiple times, allowing the bob-omb to slide out just a little more. Still, it wasn't enough. Having no other option, Trowzer lowered his jaw as much as he could and exhaled a large stream of flames from his mouth, despite knowing his plan could backfire. The fire washed over the bob-omb, incinerating it before it had time to go off and rendering it to nothing but ashes. There was a small explosion, but nothing devastating enough to blow Trowzer's head off. Once the bob-omb had been destroyed, Trowzer coughed and snorted, releasing puffs of smoke from his nostrils and mouth. Then he belched loudly, expelling a huge cloud of smoke and some of the black ash. He shook his head and spat on the floor, the foul taste of ash still in his mouth.

"(Censored)…that little bastard almost got me," he muttered.

Henson and Larry stood by each other and glanced at General Guy's mutilated body. Trowzer held his head with one hand and chuckled.

"He almost…he _almost_ got me! Hehe, I must be getting slow; I should've seen that coming!"

Taking his flaw into consideration, Henson and Larry charged towards Trowzer. The Boomerang Bro. tossed his boomerang at him while Larry cast another magical attack at the behemoth. Trowzer dodged the boomerang, but he failed to avoid the magic spell. Unlike the previous one, this spell made Trowzer dizzy. The large koopa groaned as his head spun around slowly, which gave time for Larry to get on top of Henson's shoulders. With Henson under him, Larry was a little taller than Trowzer, which made it easier for him to hit him. And that's exactly what he did. The koopaling swore, grunted, and shouted as he punched Trowzer in the face with both of his fists. It felt good punching the black-hearted monster over and over again, watching as his head jerked to the left or right depending on where he was punched. A small amount of blood actually started to come out of Trowzer's mouth, and he received a large gash above his nose. To add insult to injury, the boomerang came back and clocked Trowzer in the back of the head again. The koopa with the spiky blue shell shook his head and recovered from the dizziness just when Larry was about to attack him again. Trowzer grabbed Larry's fist and growled gutturally. Then he kicked Henson in the stomach, causing the both of them to fall to the floor.

Larry grunted and started to get up, but Trowzer grabbed him by the throat and punched him in the left eye five times. The koopa's devastating punches left a black ring around Larry's eye and made him feel dizzy and disoriented. Henson was still capable of fighting though. He rolled out of Trowzer's way and picked his boomerang up from the floor. Trowzer snarled and quickly walked forward.

"I'm not making this mistake again."

Before Henson could throw his boomerang, Trowzer lashed his claws at the Boomerang Bro. Henson gasped and dropped his knife and boomerang. He grabbed his throat and slowly moved backwards. Trowzer swiped his sharp claws at him so fast that they ripped right through the skin and flesh. Henson coughed and could feel warm blood spilling out of his neck. The Boomerang Bro. let out a tiny moan before he collapsed to the floor. Trowzer grinned before he licked the blood off his claws. Whimpering and covered in blood, Henson looked at Larry's body with shame.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Larry…we weren't strong enough…"

Larry could hear Henson's words as he tried to stand up. "No…don't give up! We can still do this!"

"I thought I could hold out…" Henson slowly closed his eyes. He was starting to fade away. "We can't stop him…no one can…"

Larry was finally back on his feet. "Don't think like that!"

"Larry…La—"

Henson's words were cut off when Trowzer stomped on his neck. The giant koopa grinned widely when he heard a series of cracking and popping; he was certain he broke the unfortunate Boomerang Bro.'s neck. He removed his foot and watched as more blood poured out of the wound before he picked up the knife Henson stole from him off the floor. Trowzer stared at the wounded koopaling and noticed he was panting heavily.

"Just us now."

Trowzer slowly walked towards Larry as the koopaling screamed and charged for him. He was about to whack the gargantuan koopa in the head with his wand, but Trowzer effortlessly grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"No."

Larry's eyes grew wide when Trowzer stabbed him in the right side of his gut. Trowzer's army began to cheer, laughing or whooping with joy when they saw Trowzer deliver the final blow. Larry glanced up at Trowzer's nasty smile before the large koopa removed his knife and shoved him backwards. Larry groaned and turned around, staggering as he sluggishly walked away from Trowzer.

"Overconfidence, Larry! That's the problem with us villains! We're so confident with our devilish schemes that we don't anticipate running into a worthy foe! I figured that out the hard way when I first began this assault. It's all about overconfidence."

Larry finally collapsed to the floor and started to breathe heavily. Several members in Trowzer's army were still cheering over their leader. But Bowser's turncoats had their mouths shut. Green and Black in particular couldn't even look at Larry. Croco didn't seem to care; he wasn't cheering for Trowzer, but the crocodile stared at Larry's wounded body with an evil grin on his face. Trowzer slowly walked over to Larry and crouched beside his body.

"You see, every day we have people asking us 'well, why didn't you just shoot him? Why didn't you do this, why didn't you do that? Why did you take so long to do this?' And it makes me wonder…are the heroes _really_ better than us, or are we villains just stupid and blinded by our pride?"

Trowzer shook his head. "It's all about pride and stupidity, Larry. We villains are too dumb or proud to do the smart thing and just kill our enemies right then and there. But not me. If I really wanted to, I could've slashed all four of your throats the moment we began fighting. But that would've been too easy; I wanted to see what you and your team were capable of. However, after what General Guy did to me, I realized that I was being overconfident again. I almost died because my pride was clouding my judgment. You see where I'm going with this?"

Larry didn't respond, so Trowzer continued. "Don't look so glum, Larry! You lasted a helluva lot longer than those pesky Mario Bros.! But what should I expect from a couple of plumbers trying to pose as heroes? At least you—"

"Just shut up…and get on with it," said Larry.

Trowzer chuckled. "Not just yet."

The giant koopa grabbed Larry by the back of his neck and stood him up. Then Trowzer held up a hand to silence his army's cheers.

"After seeing such loyalty and bravery from all of you fine men and women, I think it's time you all deserve a treat! So tell me: what would you like to do with Larry Koopa here, hmm?"

"Flay him alive," said Shannon, with a grin.

"Set him on fire. It's quick and easy, but he'll still go through a lot of pain," said Drazzik.

"Keep him alive until we reach his father. And then we'll kill him right in front of Bowser," said Mel.

Trowzer grinned. "I like that idea."

"Why not keep him alive? He could be useful in the long run. Until then, maybe we could…keep him as our slave or something?" suggested Black.

Everyone in Trowzer's army glanced at Black with an annoyed look on their face. Trowzer himself pondered the suggestion and rubbed his chin, but then he dismissed it. "No. That means we'd have to take care of him and eventually kill him anyway in the long run. But you're thinking; I like that."

Black sighed and shook his head. "Did you honestly think that would work?" asked Green.

"No shame in trying…"

"All right, all right…perhaps I should make the decision myself," Trowzer finally said.

Trowzer shoved Larry forward so he was looking at everyone in the army. "I want you…yes, that's perfect. Larry, I want you to tell everyone in here the truth about me!"

Larry glanced behind his shoulder at Trowzer. "The truth?"

"Yes! Tell everyone that I'm the best there is! Tell everyone that I'm much better than your imbecilic father! Tell everyone that I'm _going_ to win! That's the truth, Larry! I'm better than your father; I'm better than everyone I come up against! And then after you do that…get on your knees and beg for mercy from me. Cry a little bit if you'd like; it doesn't matter. I want to hear you plead for your life. Do all that…and I promise to kill you quickly. I won't even shoot you; I'll just snap your neck. No pain at all. I may even be kind enough to send your corpse to whoever's still alive in your family."

Larry fully turned around and looked at Trowzer. "You want me to tell the truth about you? Is that it?"

Trowzer nodded. "That's right."

Larry turned back around and started to pace left and right. "You know, there's a lot of things I could bring up right now. I could start bitching about the fact that half of you standing in front of me used to work for me—used to work _with_ me. I could bring up the fact that you're all probably going to Hell for betraying me and my family and that you're all a bunch of idiots. I see Croco here has already switched sides—did you get tired of us _that_ quickly?"

The crocodile shrugged. "I never had a side. I just work for whoever pays me the most money. Not my fault you hired someone you knew would probably backstab you."

Larry scoffed. "I guess not. But forget about all that; I'm gonna do exactly what Trowzer wants and tell you the truth about him."

"Then get on with it," said Trowzer.

Larry started to grin slowly. He knew exactly what to say about Trowzer now.

"The truth is…Trowzer's the biggest, most maniacal, sadistic, disgusting loser you will ever see!"

Trowzer's face twitched a little, but he just folded his arms and didn't interrupt the koopaling.

"Oh sure, yeah, maybe he is capable of taking on four other people all at once. And sure, maybe he is smarter than my dad. But none of that matters, because he's still a demon who cares more about drowning puppies than he does about your well-being! Bowser actually cares about his family; he cares about his army; he cares about the people he loves! But Trowzer? This guy's trying to kill his own brother just to prove to the world that he's better than him! He's responsible for the death of one of his nephews and he plans on murdering another one the second I finish talking! Now think about that for a moment: if Trowzer doesn't give a (censored) about me and his brother, what makes you think he cares about you guys?"

A couple of Trowzer's soldiers glanced at each other reluctantly. Larry chuckled and kept going.

"He fights dirty. He insults everyone the chance he gets. He's incapable of showing remorse; what the hell are you guys doing with him anyway?! If you think he's gonna reward you with millions of coins, you're even dumber than Trowzer claims my father is! He's gonna stab you in the back and keep it all for himself! The second you finish doing what he says, he's going to kill you because you're not useful to him anymore. And what about the cruelty, huh? Sure, he walks around with a smile on his face, but one day…one day he'll show you his true colors! One day you'll all see him as the monster he is! All he cares about is pain and torture and death—it gets him off. He thrives off of it. My father isn't like that; those of you who used to work for him know it."

Larry stopped talking and grunted. He held the wound around his midriff and noticed that it was still bleeding. But he resumed talking shortly afterwards.

"He's a disgusting pig too. Oh sure, my dad's a slob. Sure, my dad hardly ever showers and walks around fartin' until his ass gets sore, but that's just who he is. That's what he does. What about Trowzer, huh? So what if he actually knows what a shower is? His feet still stink of Limburger cheese and malt vinegar!"

A couple of Trowzer's soldiers snickered. Trowzer, surprisingly, didn't seem to mind very much and remained still.

"I'd rather stick my nose in Black's shoes than have to be the person who has to get on his knees and rub his smelly feet! And that breath of his? Hehehe, don't get me started. We all know Bowser has bad breath, but it's nowhere near as bad as Trowzer's! The guy's breath is so bad that it could make putrid piranhas wilt!"

Even more soldiers started to snicker, in large part because they knew that Larry wasn't exaggerating.

"Trowzer even has to make _that_ some kind of torture. I bet he gets in a lot of your faces when he talks to you in private, don't he? You wanna know why? Because he probably _wants_ you to smell his breath. He likes seeing the disgusted look on your faces; he likes knowing that he's causing you some kind of discomfort. And I bet if any of you insulted him and his breath the way I am right now, he'd use it an excuse to have you assaulted or even killed! He has to rule through fear or else you'd have no reason to be with him!"

Larry turned around and slowly walked towards Trowzer. "You're a monster, Trowzer. A putrid, unlovable, loathsome creature who cares about nothing but himself and causing others pain and discomfort. You'll never be better than my dad. You'll never win. No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, no matter how many castles, kingdoms, countries you conquer…you will _never_ be better than my dad. _That's_ the truth."

Larry backed away and held his wound again before he exhaled harshly. Trowzer's left eye was twitching slightly, but he made sure he kept his cool. Instead of freaking out like most people would've, or breaking down sobbing, he just closed his eyes and smiled.

"You're right, Larry…it is the truth. It's true that I have an inflated ego. It's true that I enjoy pain. I'll even agree that my feet smell and that my breath is rather abhorrent. But so what? My army already knows all these things about me, and they _still_ choose to follow me."

Larry snickered and shook his head. "That's a lie and you know it. Half the soldiers behind me had no idea what kind of koopa you are."

Trowzer shrugged. "I don't see them running away from me. I don't smell the stink of fear on anyone—although, according to you, I'm sure that 'stink' would be my breath, right?"

Larry smirked. "Yeah, it would."

Trowzer huffed. "You didn't get that last part right though. I _am_ better than my brother. And I _will_ win. That was a lie. Now…get on your knees and tell everyone the truth. And then plead for your life."

Larry shook his head. "No."

"Get on your knees, Larry. You have my word: this will end painlessly for you. But if you don't do what I command, I'll make sure your death is as painful as I can possibly make it."

"The answer's still no!"

Trowzer sighed and walked dangerously close to Larry. He looked down at him and tried to smile genuinely.

"Please…get down on your knees. Beg for mercy. I'm asking you _very_ nicely."

Larry just spat blood on the floor and looked up at his evil half-uncle. "Fuck you."

Trowzer nodded and sighed exasperatedly. He put his right hand on Larry's face, making sure his huge claws were perfectly placed on the skin. Then he quickly swiped them diagonally across Larry's face, leaving four huge scars. Larry yelped and backed away. Eyes shut, he groaned and grabbed his face as the wounds began to sting. He groaned out loud before he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Trowzer.

"Please beg for mercy. Start crying. I want to see you grovel at me feet and beg me to spare your life!"

Larry laughed again. "After everything I just said about your foot odor, do you honestly think I'd go anywhere near your feet?"

Trowzer placed the claws on his left hand on Larry's face. He swiped diagonally again, causing Larry to yelp a second time. Now eight ghastly scars were on his face, all of which were bleeding. Trowzer was starting to get irritated.

"Get on your knees. _Now_."

Larry shook his head. Frustrated, Trowzer walked over to Larry and punched him to the floor. As Larry landed on his shell, Trowzer got on top of him and began to punch him in the face. Soldiers like Black, Green and Shelley looked away, while others like Shannon and Ilnyash watched the beating with grins on their faces. Larry didn't even try to fight back. He just lay still and accepted the beating, looking up at Trowzer as his face was bruised and bloodied with Trowzer's huge fists. Trowzer punched Larry until his nose started to bleed profusely before he stopped and looked at Larry.

"Just…just say 'please don't kill me,' Larry. Just beg for your life for a few seconds! That's all I ask!"

Larry groaned softly before he spat blood in Trowzer's face. Trowzer shut his eyes and wiped the blood away, and then he resumed beating the hell out of Larry. This time, blood flew out of Larry's mouth with each punch. His nose was busted and broken now, and Larry could feel a tooth getting loose. Trowzer snarled and slashed at Larry's face again, which caused the small koopaling to scream in agony. Trowzer stopped beating up Larry and grinned widely, enjoying the koopaling's pain.

"Yes, Larry! That's good! Keep screaming for me, Larry! Now just start crying and it'll all be over!"

"NO! No matter what you do to me, I won't shed a single tear! There's no way I'm gonna plea for mercy from a person like you!"

Trowzer snarled and got off Larry. He flipped over the koopaling's body and sat down on his spiky shell, apparently not affected by the spikes poking at his rear end. He grabbed Larry's left hand and spread out his fingers. Then he grabbed one of them with one hand and growled deeply.

"Say it."

"No…you do whatever you have to in order to make yourself feel better."

Irritated, Trowzer took Larry's finger and violently jerked it at an unusual angle. There was a loud cracking sound, and Larry started to scream and holler in agony. He thrashed his feet around and tried to wiggle himself away from Trowzer, but his uncle snarled and grabbed another finger. Trowzer jerked that finger at an awkward angle too and broke it. Larry screamed horribly again, his voice filling the entire chamber. A few of Trowzer's men started to frown or grimace as they saw their leader break Larry's fingers.

"SAY IT! ASK ME TO SPARE YOUR LIFE YOU LITTLE (CENSORED)!"

"NO! I WON'T DO—AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Shelley turned around and stopped looking. She started to breathe heavily as she pressed her shell against the wall, on the verge of tears. Trowzer broke Larry's fourth and last finger on his left hand and watched as the koopaling let out more cries. The screams satisfied Trowzer, but it wasn't enough for him. He needed Larry to start crying. Trowzer was starting to lose control; he was snorting and breathing heavily, his previously affable demeanor gone.

"You snobbish little brat! Tell me what I wanna hear! TELL ME THAT I'M THE BEST! TELL ME THAT I SHOULDN'T KILL YOU! SAY IT!"

Larry looked up at Trowzer as he rolled him over and whimpered a couple times. Then, somehow, he started to chuckle.

"I just…I just realized…your name. What-what idiot names his son Trowzer? Were you born in a clothes store?"

Trowzer roared and started to furiously punch Larry in the face again. More soldiers were becoming wary of Trowzer and were starting to wonder if Larry was right. None of this was even remotely necessary. Trowzer was only doing it to satisfy his lust for anguish. Harry and Barry glanced at each other before Harry started to speak.

"Yeesh…Trowzer's going a bit overboard, dont'cha think?"

"Pfft! Please, bro. We massacred an entire building full of people with machetes. This is nothing."

"That was different. We were getting paid to do that, and what we did to the bodies happened _after_ we gave everyone a quick death. This…this just seems pointless."

Barry shrugged. "You're more than welcome to try and stop Trowzer."

Once Harry saw the disgusting look on Trowzer's face, he decided to keep his mouth shut. Fed up with bruising Larry's face, Trowzer grabbed the koopaling by the throat and pinned him to the wall. He took out one of the two knives he had and stabbed Larry in his other kidney. Like General Guy, Trowzer stabbed the koopaling so hard that the knife went through bone. Larry didn't scream, but his eyes grew wide, and he coughed up some more blood. Despite all the pain he was going through, Larry still didn't cry or beg for his life.

"WHY?! WHY WON'T YOU START CRYING?!"

Trowzer put his thumb against Larry's right eye. He grinned widely before giggling and turning to face Drazzik.

"DRAZZIK! Can you see me, Drazzik?!"

Drazzik swallowed hard. "Y-yes, sir."

"GOOD! Pay close attention, Drazzik!"

Trowzer pushed his thumb deep into Larry's eye socket. There was a soft squish, followed by a tiny muffled pop. The squishing grew louder, and red sludge began to slide down Larry's eye socket. Larry started to shriek. His body convulsed as his right eye was destroyed by Trowzer's thumb. Trowzer stared at Larry as he shrieked and thrashed around, unable to do anything as more blood and fluids dripped down his face. Drazzik inhaled sharply and turned away. Considering what had happened to his bad eye, the last thing he wanted was to have his only functional eye crushed by someone's thumb.

"Remember that, Drazzik! If you ever lie to me, what I just did to Larry will happen to you!"

After Larry shrieked for a good twenty seconds, Trowzer punched him in the stomach and tossed him to the floor. Frothing at the mouth and growling, Trowzer stared at Larry, his eyes seemingly redder than before.

"Say it. C'mon, just (censored) say it! Tell me what I want to (censored) hear! I wanna see tears! I wanna hear you crying for help that won't come! JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND (CENSORED) SAY IT!"

Larry whimpered a few times and struggled as he somehow managed to get to his feet. Legs shaking, fingers broken, eye maimed beyond repair, Larry moaned and slowly lifted his right hand so he could point at Trowzer.

"You…d-do you see? Do…you see now? _That's_ the man you're working for…"

Everyone took a mental picture of Trowzer's feral, savage face. He was still growling like a chain chomp with drool hanging from his chin. His eyes seemed redder than usual, blood was all over his face, and he didn't look sane anymore. Even his voice seemed to have changed, as though some demon had possessed him and made his voice deeper. Trowzer roared and punched Larry down before turning to look at his army.

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! You…I care about you! I-I care about all of you! Stick with me…and I'll grant you riches that Bowser and Mario combined couldn't even dream of giving you! But go against me…AND I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR FUCKIN' HEADS AND SCOOP OUT YOUR BRAINS WITH MY BARE HANDS! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME?!"

That did it. If there were members who weren't afraid of Trowzer before, they were afraid of him now. Even Harry and Barry were slightly apprehensive about Trowzer's loss of sanity. Still growling and snorting, Trowzer walked over to Larry's body and kicked him roughly in the abdomen. His body rolled a few feet forward before Trowzer bent down and picked up the koopaling's mangled body. He threw Larry's body against the wall before grabbing him by the throat and smashing his head against the corner of a pedestal. Larry let out a tiny whimper before Trowzer roared and kicked him in the jaw. Larry coughed and spat out a tooth before Trowzer picked up Larry's body and repeatedly slammed him against the floor and walls. Some of Trowzer's troops turned away or grimaced when they heard a bone snap or listened to Larry's horrible screams. The poor koopaling was in so much pain that his voice was becoming hoarse. It was actually hurting him to scream. Harry scratched his head, unsure of what to do. One soldier heard another bone in Larry's body break and retched out loud. Shelley was sitting on the floor, covering her ears and crying to herself.

"This is getting out of hand," muttered Green.

"Don't you think I know that?!" said Drazzik.

"Stop…stop…" muttered Black through watery eyes.

A mutilated Larry was lying on the floor, whimpering quietly and barely moving. His entire body looked bloated and bloody; it was difficult to even recognize the koopaling. No longer caring if Larry begged for his life, Trowzer let out a feral snarl before he got on the floor and opened his mouth wide. Then he bit down on Larry's throat hard, his sharp teeth piercing through the skin and flesh. Larry couldn't even scream anymore. He just opened his mouth and let out a weary moan as blood started to pour from his neck. Trowzer slowly lifted Larry off the floor and growled as he bit down even harder, treating Larry no different from a chew toy. He jerked his head to the right and opened his mouth, tossing Larry against the wall.

"What the (censored), dude?" said Barry.

Drazzik couldn't take this anymore. He mustered the courage to approach Trowzer just as he was kicking Larry over and over again.

"Trowzer! You need to stop—"

Trowzer jerked his head in Drazzik's direction so fast that the sudden movement stopped the one-eyed Fire Bro. instantly. Drazzik's eye grew wide as he stared at what his leader had become. Blood was all over his mouth, flesh was caught in his teeth, his knuckles were red from punching Larry so many times—it was impossible to believe that someone this barbaric was so calm and civil only a few minutes ago. Trowzer snarled at Drazzik and snapped at him when Drazzik tried to touch him.

"Walk. Away. Now," Trowzer growled.

Drazzik just stared at his boss's dangerous eyes before he slowly backed away and rejoined the group. Mel looked at Drazzik and noticed that the Fire Bro. was visibly shaking. Even someone as stoic as Mel knew when torture had gone too far. Mel was about to approach Trowzer when Shannon walked over to him instead.

"Sir, that's enough now. We need—"

The second Shannon reached out and grabbed Trowzer's shoulder, the demented koopa snarled and punched Shannon in the face. The dark koopa shouted as he spun around and fell to the floor. Shannon groaned and started to hold his nose as it began to bleed. Trowzer giggled maniacally before he bent over and grabbed Larry by the throat with both hands.

"Ooh, I'm so glad I ran into you, Larry! I haven't had this much fun in years! You're like my personal punching bag!"

Trowzer giggled again before he held Larry up high and shook him like a rag doll. Larry didn't move or respond. Trowzer, frustrated by Larry's silence, snarled and started to choke him. He squeezed harder and harder, breathing heavily as he began to break Larry's neck.

"WHY WON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!"

"That's enough," said Harry.

Harry, Barry, Mel, and even Croco all walked forward towards Trowzer. Before he could completely break Larry's neck, Mel grabbed him from behind and tried to stop him. Trowzer roared and shook Mel away, at which point the Yoshi brothers both tried to tackle Trowzer. The giant koopa snarled and tried to shake the Yoshis away, but more soldiers were rushing forward to try and calm Trowzer down. Black was nearly paralyzed with fear and guilt, but his brother had no problem sprinting forward and grabbing the big turtle. Drazzik joined in as well, along with a couple of burly dark koopatrols. Trowzer kept snarling and trying to shake everyone off of him, but eventually he fell backwards and landed against the wall. He thrashed around, roaring and screaming, the spittle from his mouth going everywhere and getting in a few soldiers' faces. His legs still free, a chubby Sledge Bro. had to rush over and pin them down with his huge arms and hands. Trowzer roared again and tried to break free, but the fifteen soldiers wouldn't let him.

"RAAAAAAH! LET ME GO! YOU'RE RUINING MY FUN; YOU'RE LETTING THE ENEMY GET THE BEST OF US!"

"What fun, Trowzer?! What enemy?! You're not even punching a koopaling anymore; you're assaulting a bloated bloody sack of meat and bones!" shouted Drazzik.

Trowzer snarled. "Oh, you just wait! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET AHOLD OF THAT EYE OF YOURS!"

"Trowzer, think! Why do you think Larry ain't screaming anymore? Why do you think he ain't moaning? He's dead already, you (censored) idiot!" said Barry.

"You insolent fool! I'll have your tongue ripped out for talking to me this way!"

"Sir, what good is _any_ of this bringing? You're scaring your own troops. You're getting yourself worked up over nothing. Don't you see? You're becoming everything Larry said you were. If you don't stop now, this army will desert you," advised Mel.

"HEADS! ALL OF 'EM! ALL YOUR HEADS WILL BE MINE ONCE I GET FREE!"

Croco, however, knew how to lie his way out of any situation. Like Drazzik, he knew the right words to use against uncontrollably monsters like Trowzer.

"You're absolutely right, Trowzer. We're interrupting your fun. How dare we stand here and ruin your enjoyment?"

A menacing grin showed up on Trowzer's face. "You see?! The crocodile gets me! Unhand me right now!"

"However," continued Croco, "what you're doing isn't wise, sir. You have every right to be angry and infuriated. But you're diverting your time and energy on the wrong enemy. Larry isn't your prey; Bowser is. You can't keep doing this. You're exerting precious fury and power for no reason. Are you really gonna stand here and use up all your energy on _that_?" said Croco, as he pointed to Larry.

Trowzer gradually stopped growling and thrashing around and looked at the damage he had done. Larry was hardly recognizable. The only part of his body still intact was his blue hair, which had blotches of blood in it. Even his shell had cracked during the chaos.

"Drazzik's right, sir. That thing over there? That's nothing more than a sack of meat and bones. Why waste your time abusing it when you can save your energy for the real enemy: your brother Bowser?"

Trowzer stopped moving entirely and blinked. "You're right, Croco."

"Please, sir. You need to calm down. You need to stop this nonsense now. Larry's already dead. You've made your point. Now let's continue our journey before you scare your army away."

Trowzer panted a couple of times before he closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. After relaxing for a moment, he opened his eyes again and nodded. "Okay…okay, you're right. You can let me go now."

The fifteen soldiers let go of Trowzer and quickly backed away in case he lashed out at them. The giant koopa slowly stood up before he wiped the blood and dribble from his mouth. He slowly walked over to Larry and turned his body over with his foot. Trowzer blinked and grimaced, shocked as how mangled the body and face was. He had been stabbed twice, his right eye had been crushed, his other eye was black, several giant scars were stretched across his face, a leg was broken, all the fingers on his left hand were broken—he was a mess. Trowzer turned Larry back over so he was lying on his stomach instead of his shell.

"Don't worry, folks…I'm okay now," he said, grinning smugly like he always does.

"…I think you broke my nose," Shannon suddenly said.

"Get over it." Trowzer ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. "Well then…if everyone's still okay, I think we'd best be moving forward, hmm?"

"Err…perhaps I should stay here, Trowzer. I could take a few troops with me so we can patrol other areas of the castle," suggested Ilnyash.

Trowzer shook his head. "No."

"Uh, yeah, maybe me and my bro should just leave now. We've helped you guys enough; I'm sure you can handle the rest," said Barry.

Trowzer grinned. "I can't have any of you leave now. You're about to experience the greatest moment of your lives! You finally get to see Bowser get trounced! I'm finally going to destroy my brother, and I want _all_ of you to be there to witness it! So, no, none of you can leave or stay behind. I want all of you to come along with me so you can see this glorious spectacle!"

Nobody moved. Everyone looked away from Trowzer or looked down at the floor, clearly wary of him after what they just saw. Trowzer frowned.

"NOW!" he roared.

Everyone became alert and began to walk forward. Trowzer snickered and started to lead his army out the chamber, not even bothering to acknowledge the four corpses in the room. It took several minutes for everyone to leave the chamber and close the double-doors. Once they were all gone, everything suddenly became silent. The four bodies in the room weren't stirring anymore—not after the beating Trowzer gave them. At least, that's what one would think. But Larry's left leg and right arm twitched. The bloodied koopaling let out a quiet gurgling whimper before he slowly opened his left eye, which was now completely red. Larry let out another quiet whimper and slowly moved his right hand.

He was still alive. But given his condition, he didn't know for how long.


	54. Run Turtle Junk, part 13

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Conclusion. Sometimes you just can't save everyone.

**Run Turtle Junk (Part 13)**

The Yoshi rebels were busy arguing inside the hut. As Marcus blatantly said, this shouldn't have been a hard decision to make. If everyone walked outside, Bosley and Eddard would be spared. But if everyone stayed within the hut, both of them would be executed on the spot. And yet, something told Geno and the others that if they walked outside, Bosley and Eddard would be murdered regardless. They needed more time to think this through, and unfortunately, they weren't getting any.

"What is there to understand?! We walk outside, Bosley and Ned live! We stay in here, they die!" said Denny as he sat on a bed and had another Yoshi wrap gauze around his hand.

Tallard shrugged. "I'm telling all of you: he's bluffing. Sure, he might kill Bosley, but he's not gonna kill Ned."

"So, what? Bosley's just an acceptable loss for you?" asked Kooper.

"Exactly. What else is he supposed to be now? A friend? A dinosaur who fought alongside me against the enemy?" The orange Yoshi shook his head. "No, none of that matters now. He's just a guy who was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and now he's gonna die because of it."

"And what about Ned? Is he just some acceptable loss to you too? He's just a twelve-year-old Yoshi, Tallard!" said Sandra.

"I know that."

"So that's it then? We're just gonna sit on our asses and let these two dinosaurs die because we're too chicken-(censored) to walk outta here?" asked Kooper.

Tallard huffed loudly. "Let me make this clear for everyone in this hut: MARCUS IS NOT GOING TO KILL NED! He's bluffing about killing the kid! Why else do you think he's killing Bosley first?! He's going to put a bullet in Bosley's brain, but when it comes times to kill Ned, he's gonna chicken out and shoot next to his head, or just make it appear like he's dead or something. He's not going to kill him because that's just not what people like Marcus do in situations like this. If he kills Ned, he has no leverage over us. He _needs_ him alive, or else we'll never come out this hut."

"And you're sure about this?" asked Geno.

"That still leaves Bosley, Tallard," Denny mentioned.

"I realize that. But like I said…collateral damage."

"Don't you even care what this Yoshi means to Eddard?" asked Geno.

Tallard shrugged. "I guess he's just gonna have to deal with it."

Kooper scoffed. "Like how he dealt with killing someone for the first time? Look how _that_ turned out."

"He's strong. He'll learn to adjust and adapt to his loss."

Kooper shook his head and sighed deeply. "What about you, Geno? What do you think we should do?"

Geno scratched his head. "I don't think we have much of a choice. I don't like it, but…maybe Bosley's just a sacrifice we need in order to get out of this situation intact. All we can do is wait it out and see if something comes up. Maybe they'll be a way for us to get out of here without being captured."

However, some of the other rebels inside the hut disagreed with Geno and Tallard's plan. While everyone inside continued to bicker amongst themselves, Marcus circled the two captured Yoshis, twirling a handgun around in his right hand. Bosley breathed heavily before he looked down at Eddard, who was shaking and whimpering quietly to himself.

"Well. This has certainly turned out to be a crappy morning," said Bosley.

Eddard didn't look up at him as he responded. "That's not funny."

"…I know. I'm just—" Bosley stopped talking and changed his words. "Ned, I need you to listen to me. You have to do this on your own now. You need to figure out—"

"Stop, just…stop talking, Bosley. Everytime people talk like that, they make it seem like they're about to die."

"Ned, I _am_ going to die. You and I both know that."

Eddard sobbed quietly and looked up at Bosley. "Don't say that. They're not gonna sit in there and just let us get killed!"

"No, Eddard. They're not gonna sit in there and let _you_ get killed. …I'm expendable. But you got nothing to worry about. You're a kid. Kids are bulletproof in stories like these, remember?"

Now tears were starting to roll down Ned's face. "The only reason why I've even been sane since this whole mess began was because of you, Bosley! I…I can't lose you! Not now!"

"I know it's hard," said Bosley, his voice cracking, "but you need to move forward. I'm not asking you to forget about me, but you can't dwell on what's about to happen. People die, Eddard. That's just the way of life. There's nothing you can do about it except mourn and move on…understand?"

Eddard didn't say anything. He could only sniffle and sob as more tears were squeezed out of his eyes. He hated Marcus for having his hands tied together. All he wanted to do was hug Bosley one last time before he was killed, and he couldn't even do that. All he could do was sit on his knees and look at the ground through watery eyes. Bosley managed to smile slightly as a single tear came out of his right eye.

"It'll be okay, Ned. You'll see."

Marcus stopped walking around the two Yoshis and sighed heavily as he stood beside Bosley. "Your friends must really hate you."

Bosley didn't even look at Marcus. He just kept looking at Eddard and tried to comfort him with his smile. It wasn't until Marcus lifted his walkie-talkie that the situation became serious again. Everyone knew what was about to happen.

"Your three minutes are up. Have any of you made a decision?"

Marcus waited a brief moment for anyone inside to respond. Suddenly, Tallard came onto the radio and asked Marcus, "Does you kissing our asses count as a decision?"

Marcus didn't have time for this. He pointed his handgun at Bosley's head and began to start the countdown.

"Ten…nine…eight…"

Everyone in the hut thought about walking outside, or maybe even trying to convince Marcus to give them more time or to hold off on the execution. But the decision had been made. They were going to let Bosley die.

"Seven…six…five…"

"Eddard, shut your eyes," said Bosley quietly.

Eddard did as he was told. If only he could cover his ears, then everything would be perfect.

"Three…two…"

Marcus grinned widely and blinked as he lowered his walkie-talkie. "Any last words?"

Bosley took a few deep breaths before he glanced up at Marcus with a scowl on his face.

"Fuck you."

The shady koopa promptly shot Bosley in the right side of his head. Eddard flinched from the loud gunshot and heard Bosley's body fall to the ground. The moment he opened his eyes and saw blood oozing out of Bosley's head, Eddard let out a terrible wailing sound and burst out in tears. Marcus lowered his handgun and stared at the young yellow Yoshi, watching as he bawled like a baby, his face covered in tears and snot coming out of his nose. Everyone inside the hut couldn't do anything but scowl or shut their eyes. They all heard Ned's terrible wailing and knew that they were partially responsible for it. Eddard lowered his head as his body began to shake. He fell face first into the soil and continued to cry. The one Yoshi who could've been the father figure in his life was now dead, and he had no idea where his mother was.

"Are you guys happy? Judging by this kid's incessantly blubbering, it seems like I just killed his daddy. Now I know that must be rough; I just shot this kid's dad right in front of him. And chances are his mom's probably already dead. So now he's an orphan and he's gonna spend the rest of his life growing up all alone. He's alone now…and all you guys had to do was come out of the hut. How's it feel knowing you're the reason why this kid has nobody in his life now?"

Kooper picked up his radio and responded. "How's it feel knowing you're the one who personally put a bullet in that Yoshi's head? How do _you_ feel knowing you killed the only creature who was important in 'that kid's' life?"

Marcus bent down and picked up Ned so he was back on his knees. He was still crying and sniffling, but the wailing noise had begun to die down. "Doesn't matter how I feel. Doesn't matter what I do. What matters is that you _could have_ done something to prevent this."

"Yeah, we could've blown your brains out or convinced you that your life is worthless and that you need to kill yourself."

Marcus lowered his radio and sighed deeply. "I grow tired of this small talk. Because of how 'kind' I am I'm gonna give you guys some more time to think about your decision. But do it fast. You only have a minute this time."

Everyone looked directly at Tallard. "Don't you dare pin this on me. You all chose to agree with me. You all knew Bosley was gonna die."

"But what about Ned?" asked Sandra.

"Did you not hear the way this guy talks? He's a smug bastard who hides behind his cowardice by blaming others about the (censored) _he_ does. He's not going to kill Eddard because he doesn't have the stones to do it. Very few people in this world are capable of killing children without at least feeling some sort of guilt over it."

"And what about Dracolin?" asked Geno.

"Dracolin wasn't a coward. Not from what I could tell. He seemed like the kind of monster who would kill children just so he could brag about it."

"So what do we do then? Call him out on his bluff?" asked Kooper.

Tallard nodded. "Exactly. Piss him off to the point where he casts Ned aside and focuses his anger on us."

Meanwhile, Marcus was looking down at Eddard. The Yoshi was breathing heavily and still sniffling, but the crying had stopped. There were less tears coming out of his eyes now.

"How old are you?"

Eddard didn't even look up at Marcus. He blinked and asked the question again.

"I asked you a question. How old are you?"

Eddard shut his eyes and answered. "Twelve."

"Hmm…shame a kid like you has to die this way."

Eddard muttered something but continued to look down at the ground.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I quite heard you. Did you say something?"

Ned glanced up at Marcus as he continued to breathe deeply. "I said I'm not a kid."

Marcus smiled slightly. "Kid or not, you better hope your friends in there do the right thing."

"…Why can't you let me go? Why can't _you_ do the right thing and leave all these Yoshis alone?!"

Marcus shrugged. "It's just a job. You honestly think I want to stand here threatening a Yoshi as young as you are? My own daughter looks like she's only a few years older than you."

"Then untie my hands and let me go! You don't have to do this!" sobbed Eddard.

Marcus looked at the watch on his wrist again and sighed heavily. Kooper and the others were out of time. The shady koopa stood behind Ned and pointed his handgun at the back of his skull.

"I'm sorry…I can't do that."

The shady koopa lifted his radio and spoke to Tallard and the other rebels. "Time's up. You guys wanna do the right thing now, or do I have to kill another Yoshi just to show how serious I am?"

Tallard lifted his radio and smirked. "You think I don't know guys like you? All you henchmen are the same: you're too afraid of your boss to do what's right, so you run around doing whatever he or she tells you so you don't end up getting killed. You wanna know the problem with fear though? It prevents cowards like you from carrying out orders you know deep down are wrong! Sure, maybe the guys who sent you here told you to slaughter every man, woman and child you see, but let's face it: what you've done to this island bothers you! You're tired of all this killing; you're tired of all this death! And now the guy you work for is putting you in a position where you have to do something that will destroy your conscience for the rest of your life! You _can't_ do it, no matter how many times you tell yourself you can!"

Marcus thought about giving a snarky reply to the hot-headed Yoshi, but when he lifted his radio, he noticed that his hand was shaking slightly and no words would come out. Frustrated, Marcus lowered his radio and huffed. He tightened the grip around his handgun and put his finger on the trigger.

"Ten…nine…eight…"

"He's counting down, Tallard! We have to stop him!" shouted Denny.

"He's not gonna do anything. He's gonna start stalling. You just wait and see."

Eddard started to whimper and sniffle. He didn't know what was worse: dying at such a young age, or living without Bosley there to guide him. Either way, Ned felt like his life had been ruined and couldn't be repaired no matter how hard he tried. Eddard sobbed loudly when he felt the cold barrel of the gun pressed against the back of his head.

"Seven…six…"

Marcus stopped counting down. He looked at Eddard and listened to him as he whimpered to himself. He kept tightening his grip on the gun, hoping Denny, Tallard and the others would reconsider and step out the hut. Despite everything Tallard had said, and how much he mocked him, the orange Yoshi was right. He didn't want to do this. He yanked Ned's head back and put the walkie-talkie in front of his mouth.

"Beg. Tell them to come outside now so I'll spare you."

Ned didn't have the strength to go against him, so he started to speak to everyone. "Please…please, just…just come outside. I don't want to die now!"

Marcus lifted the radio and let go of Ned. "An innocent kid's begging for your help. Are you seriously gonna ignore him?"

Tallard scoffed. "You're stalling. It's been far more than ten seconds now and you know it. We know you don't have it in you to shoot the kid, so let him go and leave us the (censored) alone."

"You-You seriously don't think I'll do it? You don't think I'll put a bullet in his skull?"

Tallard sighed. "I grow tired of this small talk. You stand there and keep telling yourself you're gonna kill Ned. We'll be in here taking a nap."

Marcus practically smashed his radio against the ground. His gun still pressed against Eddard's head, the shady koopa began to count down again.

"Five…four…three…"

There was a very long pause. Marcus kept flicking his eyes between the hut and Ned. His hand was still shaking, and Marcus noticed his heart was beating faster and faster. He exhaled harshly and tried to tighten his grip, but the gun suddenly felt heavy. He couldn't do it.

"Why…I…just last night I had no trouble setting a dragon loose on a village full of harmless dinosaurs. …Why do I feel this way _now_?" Marcus asked himself.

"Let me go," Ned pleaded.

"I can't. I have to do this…two…"

Marcus closed his eyes and sighed deeply, his finger slowly squeezing the trigger.

"One…"

Kooper and the others could see that Marcus wasn't about to kill Eddard. Tallard was right; he didn't have the stomach to do it. Kooper knew exactly what to say to get Marcus to finally back down.

"You know what? Kill him. What do I care? He's just some kid after all, some kid I met only last night. He doesn't mean anything to me. His dad left him, his mom's probably dead, and the one guy he looks up to is lying dead beside him. No one's even gonna miss him. So go on, kill him! Show everyone how brave you are by murdering a helpless kid in front of us!"

Eddard shut his eyes while Marcus stared at the hut, gritting his teeth and huffing. He didn't like the way he was being taunted. And yet…he felt like he couldn't kill Ned anymore.

"So since you're so big and bad, since you're so smart, and since you're threatening to hurt a child we honestly don't give a (censored) about, you go ahead and you ki—"

Marcus shot Eddard in the back of the head. His body landed on the ground beside Bosley's with a loud thud. Kooper shouted and backed away from the window, his entire body shaking. He let out a tiny whimper and dropped his walkie-talkie. Everyone in the hut had virtually the same expression. Their eyes were wide or watery, some of their jaws were hanging toward the floor, and everyone realized with great horror that they had misjudged the situation entirely. Kooper let out a terrible sound that made everyone think he was sobbing and moaning simultaneously. The blue-shelled koopa collapsed next to the bed and put his hands on his head. He whined quietly and shut his eyes before he started to weep. Sandra was standing next to the wall crying as well. Geno and Tallard couldn't say anything; the orange Yoshi knew he made a huge mistake, and as much as he tried to pass Ned's death off as collateral damage, he knew deep down that he couldn't just accept his death and move on. Kooper started to cry louder now, his face laden with salty tears. He shook his head and cursed himself, believing he was directly responsible.

Even Marcus was upset. He didn't even know why he killed Ned. His finger just squeezed the trigger before he had time to stop himself. The shady koopa looked down at the dead yellow Yoshi with shame, having the same shocked expression on his face as the rest of the rebels. Marcus exhaled and shut his eyes, trying to force himself to calm down. But nothing worked. The turtle just murdered a child; he had no one to blame except himself. Tallard sat down in a chair and tossed the radio on the floor like it was a useless toy. Denny didn't even feel like chastising Tallard for convincing everyone to agree with him. He just stood beside Sandra and cradled her as she cried to herself. Back outside, one of Marcus' soldiers walked up to his leader and raised an eyebrow.

"Sir? Um…sir?"

Marcus stopped looking at Ned's body and glanced over at the soldier. "What?"

"You all right, sir? Your hand won't stop shaking."

Marcus looked down at the gun in his hand. Then he looked down at Ned's cadaver and exhaled.

"I just…I just shot a kid. Do you _expect_ me to be okay?"

Kooper wouldn't stop crying. He kept telling himself that this was his fault. He kept telling himself that he was an idiot for listening to Tallard. He kept wondering what would've happened if the Mario Bros. were here, if Goombario and Bombette and all his other buddies were here right now. Would Eddard and Bosley still be alive? Would they be hiding out in a hut surrounded by the enemy? Would the enemy still even be on the island, or would Mario and Luigi have found a way to purge them from the tropical, peaceful place? Kooper didn't know anymore. Geno didn't either. Even though he wasn't as visibly upset, the sentient doll was blaming himself just as much as Kooper was.

No one knew what to do anymore. Anyone who wasn't crying was too busy sitting or standing in silence, wondering if there was a reason behind any of this.

* * *

Junior couldn't stop pacing back and forth. He scratched his head and ran a hand through his hair before he finally stopped walking and came to a conclusion: his brother was dead.

"He's not coming back."

"Shut up! Larry's just running a little late; give him some time," said Roy.

"He said a half-hour! It's been forty minutes now! If he's not dead then—"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

Everyone who wasn't a koopaling looked at each other. They were currently hiding in the secret tunnels Larry told his brothers and sister about. The tunnels were small and only lit with torches hanging on the walls, but at least it was concealed quite well. Judging by the dank smell and all the dust and cobwebs they found, many of the soldiers assumed that the tunnels hadn't been used in a while. However, as they walked forward, they also realized how hot the tunnel was getting, indicating that they were getting close to the exit leading to the fiery river surrounding the castle. Kammy Koopa stepped forward and approached the koopalings.

"Perhaps the three of you should go back. We're not in danger anymore; we can wait for your return."

"If he (censored) said he'll be back, then he'll be back!"

"Roy, it wouldn't hurt to just see how he's doing. He could be wounded right now and desperately looking for help! What if he does come back, but then he falls to the floor and dies because he bled to death since no one was around to patch up his wounds? Instead of assuming that he's already dead or assuming that he'll come back, let's go back ourselves and find him! We might end up saving his life by doing so!" said Wendy.

"…I guess you got a point there, Wendy. Fine. I'll come with you."

Roy watched as Wendy and Junior started to walk in the opposite direction. He looked back at what was left of the main army before he looked at his brother and sister again. Frustrated, Roy shouted and hurriedly went after Junior and Wendy. He shoved them aside and began to stomp in front of them.

"So you changed your mind?" asked Junior.

"No! But if any of you run into trouble, you won't last a _second_ without me there to save your asses! Let's just find Larry and hurry back to the group."

Junior smirked, knowing that his response was his own way of saying he changed his mind. The three siblings walked through the tunnel for a few minutes, glad that they were finally in a safe (but relatively small) place. Once they reached the fake wall that allowed them to enter the secret passageway, they stopped walking. Junior pressed his earhole against the wall to see if he could hear anything from the other side.

"Sounds clear to me. I guess Larry was right after all."

Wendy pulled down on the lever near the secret entrance. The wall rumbled for a moment before sliding to the left very slowly. After a deep thud, Junior stuck his head outside and looked left and right. The corridor the secret entrance was built in was clear. Trowzer and his army had passed the hallway ten minutes ago.

"We're good. Let's hurry up and find Larry before they decide to come back."

Junior, Roy, and Wendy all stepped outside the tunnel and pushed the fake wall back into place. The three of them backtracked through the castle, running towards the same chamber that Larry and the others decided to fight Trowzer in. When they realized that there was no sign that Larry had escaped the room, they started to sprint. Roy was hoping that Larry was in the same chamber with a bad bump on his head, but Junior and Wendy knew that something had gone horribly wrong. They knew Larry wouldn't stay in the chamber and pretend to be dead, and they knew Trowzer wouldn't be stupid enough to leave without at least assuming he killed Larry. By the time they reached the double-doors, Junior grunted and pulled them open almost instantly.

"LARRY!"

No answer. The three siblings spread out to look around the chamber. Junior started to pant before he called out Larry's name again.

"LAR—"

Junior stopped when he stepped on something hard. Bowser's favorite son looked down at the floor and gagged before he covered his mouth with his right arm. He just stepped on Henson's helmet. Junior looked at Henson's slashed throat and his partially open eyes before he gagged again and looked away. He didn't even bother checking his pulse, especially after noticing the giant pool of blood.

"Goddamnit…" muttered Roy.

Roy Koopa had found Tutankoopa. The unfortunate pharaoh was lying in a pool of his own blood, his throat sliced wide open. Junior shut his eyes and walked away when he stumbled upon General Guy's corpse. Junior actually retched and had to cover his mouth with his hand. The military shy guy was sitting against the wall, his intestines and part of his stomach hanging out of his body. Even Roy was visibly disgusted by the body.

"What the (censored) kind of person has to go out and gut someone like that?!"

Junior sighed. "That's the Trowzer we know and 'love,'" he muttered.

"GUYS!"

Roy and Junior found Wendy on her knees. They rushed over to her and gasped when they realized she had found Larry's body.

"I…I found him," she said quietly.

"No…we're too late," said Junior.

Roy was about to exclaim when they saw Larry's body twitch. All of them gasped again and kneeled beside Larry.

"Larry?! Larry, can you hear me?!" shouted Roy.

The blue-haired koopaling grunted wearily twice before he slowly opened his left eye. His vision was blurry and tinted red, but he could still make out Roy's sunglasses and bulky frame.

"…Roy?"

Roy grinned and snickered. "Heh, that's what I thought. I told you I'd kill you if you died on us! Guess you took my advice, eh?"

Larry grunted quietly and slowly moved his hand. It was all he could do. "…Always…you always gotta be…an asshole…don't you?"

Junior and Wendy weren't as casual. They were struggling to ignore all the blood Larry was lying in and all the bruises and scars on his body.

"Larry, it's Junior. Uh…you…you-you look fine. This is only a few bruises, nothing major."

"Flip me over…and you'll be saying something different…"

Junior was afraid to; he thought just touching Larry could hurt him. But he slowly put his hands on Larry's shell and carefully flipped Larry over. Everyone gagged and backed away when they noticed how ravaged Larry's body was. His gouged-out eye wasn't even what grossed them out the most. The fact that Larry had endured so much torture for so long and was still alive was what upset them.

"Jesus, Larry…" muttered Wendy.

Larry sighed deeply. "I know…it's horrible…right?"

Junior flipped Larry back over so he was lying on his stomach again. He shut his eyes and kept his mouth closed so he could swallow the vomit coming up his throat.

"That's-that's okay, Larry. That's fine. Everything's fine now! We found you; you're still alive!" said Junior.

"We're gonna get you outta here, bro. You're a tough son of a bitch—I'll give you that. Just hang on for a little while longer," said Roy.

Larry shut his left eye and sighed again. "I'm not gonna make it…you all know that…"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, LARRY!" screeched Wendy.

Larry started to smile slightly. "It's okay…it'll be all right…I can die like this."

"You're not going to die, you idiot! We have white magikoopas who can heal you—there's bound to be life shrooms around here somewhere!"

"Wendy…look at me. There…there isn't a life shroom…in this world that can heal me."

"Yes, there is! We just…we just have to find one," she said, struggling to keep herself from crying.

Larry was still smiling. "I know…I know it's hard…I know you're still not over Iggy—"

"No, that's different! We didn't have the chance to help Iggy; we can still save you, Larry!" pleaded Junior.

"But I'm okay, Junior…I don't fear death anymore…you should've seen me…you should've seen the look on…on Trowzer's face…"

Larry stopped talking and breathed in a raspy tone. "I got…to him. I made him snap…he showed who he…who he really was…right there, in front of his army. Don't you see? …I beat him. They're…they're scared of him…his own soldiers are scared of their leader…he may have killed me…but that doesn't matter. …I won."

Wendy couldn't keep her tears back. She sobbed as two wet tears trickled down her face. Junior whined and started to cry too.

"I didn't beg…I didn't cry…I showed him no fear. I…I won, guys…"

"Just…maybe we could get someone down here to heal you. I—Larry, please! You have to hold on a little longer!" begged Junior.

Roy had lost his bold attitude and softened up a little on Larry. "You…you can't die. Not after that beating you took. Not-not after we've found you. We didn't come all this way to have you die right in front of us!"

"But…I'm not just dying. Tell our soldiers…you tell everyone…that Trowzer isn't invincible…you tell them that I stood up to him…tell them…"

Larry let out a few more raspy breaths, almost as though he couldn't breathe anymore. "Tell them…that he can be beaten. Somehow…someway…Trowzer can be stopped…"

Wendy sobbed again, unable to say anymore. Junior started to sniffle as more hot tears came out of his eyes. Larry took a long deep breath and smiled again as his right hand twitched a few more times.

"Iggy? Iggy, it's okay…stop crying now, Iggy…you're not gonna be alone anymore…"

Junior's eyes grew wide. "Larry?!"

Larry took a long and deep breath. He didn't have the strength to do anything anymore.

"I'm comin', Iggy…I'm comin'…"

Larry took a couple of long breaths before he abruptly went silent. He stopped moving, his right hand stopped twitching, and his left eye and mouth were shut. They were never going to open again. The three siblings stared at Larry's body for a moment before Junior let out a soft whine that sounded like it would've come from a puppy.

"L…Larry?" he asked, in denial.

Roy was breathing heavily, overwhelmed by his anger and sadness over what had just happened. Wendy just lowered her head and kept crying. Junior whined again as his face became contorted with pain and sorrow.

"Larry?" he asked, his voice breaking.

Junior touched Larry's body and rocked it gently, still clearly in denial. But once he saw no response, Junior let out a terrible wail and shut his eyes as more tears came out.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Junior and Wendy didn't bother keeping it all in now. Both of them started blubbering incessantly, their faces wet with tears. All they could do was stare at Larry's mutilated body or shake their heads as they sobbed. Roy was still breathing heavily and bottling up his true emotions, but he knew deep down he wanted to start crying too. As always, he disguised his sorrow with anger; he began to make a fist with his right hand.

"Look at you: bunch of (censored) pussies! I'm not gonna sit here and cry like a bitch! Unlike you, I'm actually gonna do something useful!"

Wendy sniffled and wiped some of the tears from her face when she looked up and saw Roy stomping towards the chamber exit.

"Roy, what are you doing?!"

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER!"

Junior stopped crying so he could get off the floor and grab Roy. The burly koopa started to snarl and tried to shake Junior off of him.

"Let me go! Get the (censored) off me, Junior!"

"Roy, stop! There's no point; you're not gonna do anything but get yourself killed!"

Roy's voice started to crack as he continued to fight against Junior. "Look at what he's done, Junior! LOOK AT WHAT TROWZER'S DONE TO THIS FAMILY!"

Wendy had to grab Roy once he finally shook himself away from Junior. "Stop thinking about yourself! We're angry too, Roy; we're upset about Larry just as much as you are! Running off and taking on Trowzer won't solve anything!"

Roy whined again and felt a tear roll down his face. "I don't need you! I'll take on Trowzer myself! I'll show you!"

Junior grabbed Roy along with Wendy. "THERE'S ONLY THREE OF US NOW, ROY! We don't know where Lemmy and Ludwig and Morton are! You _can't_ die, Roy! We need you! You're the strongest koopaling in this family! If you die, then the rest of us won't be able to defend ourselves and we'll end up just like Larry!"

"I DON'T CARE! WE CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THIS! LET ME GO!"

"NO, ROY! YOU'RE NOT GETTING YOURSELF KILLED!"

Roy wasn't fighting as much anymore, and another tear had rolled down his face. "But…GOD…GODDAMNIT!"

Roy, unable to argue or fight any longer, fell to his knees and then fell flat on his stomach. His sunglasses fell off his face as the koopaling let out a horrible and deep moan that echoed throughout the entire chamber. Then he started to cry like a baby, the tears streaming down his face faster than Junior and Wendy's tears combined. He pounded his fist on the floor, swearing to himself, deeply distraught over everything Trowzer had done to them and their army. Junior and Wendy stopped holding Roy back and instead comforted him; they hugged him tightly and cradled him. The three siblings just lied there on the floor, crying, sniffling, and moaning over their losses. Roy was sobbing so hard that his booming cries muted out Wendy's and Junior's.

"Larry…" he sobbed horribly. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"

Junior just shut his eyes and held Roy tighter as they kept crying.

"He's gone, Roy…Larry's gone…"


	55. Show No Tears

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** The koopalings return with the bodies of the fallen so they can be buried, and they finally convince everyone that it's time to retreat; the Yoshi rebels trapped inside the hut come to a decision; Trowzer and his goons run into one last obstacle before they have the chance to reach Bowser.

**Show No Tears**

Some of the troops were getting antsy now. Junior and his brother and sister hadn't been back in a while either. A few of them had assumed the worst, but they stayed inside the secret passageway for a few more minutes, hoping that the koopalings would show up so they could finally come up with a plan. Kammy Koopa heard a few footsteps in the distance. She squirted her eyes a bit to try and see further down the tunnel. Eventually she could make out part of Junior's red hair.

"I think I see them…everyone shut up! I think they're back!"

The murmuring going on in the crowd silenced, and Kammy Koopa and a few other high-ranking soldiers ran forward to greet Junior.

"Oh, good! You guys…"

Kammy barely even got a few words out before she noticed the body Junior was carrying over his shoulder. Junior and Kammy stared at each other before Kammy glanced down at the cadaver's head and noticed the blue hair. The magikoopa let out a tiny whimper before she felt tears brewing in her eyes.

"God…damnit…" said Wario softly.

Junior didn't say anything to anyone. He just walked past Kammy Koopa and regrouped with the army. Kammy, Wario, and the other high-ranked soldiers thought it was only Larry's body he was carrying. But when Wendy showed up, they noticed that she was hauling Tutankoopa's body right over her shoulder. Even worse, Roy appeared only a few feet behind her, and he was carrying General Guy and Henson's corpses. The KP koopa standing in-between Kammy Koopa and Wario pressed his shell against the wall and slowly sat down on the floor. He put his hands on his head and almost immediately burst out in tears. Wario was gritting his teeth and making a fist with his right hand, trying to act the same way Roy did when he first found Larry's body. The fat bike rider just lowered and shook his head. Meanwhile, Junior and the koopalings arrived in front of the rest of the army. Everyone shut up when they saw all the bodies the three reptiles were carrying. All of them slowly put their bodies on the floor so everyone could clearly see who they were.

There were quite a few mixed reactions. Many soldiers, understandably, started to tear up or broke down crying. A few of them became angry and started to turn their hands into fists before they punched the wall. But most of them just stared with wide eyes, unable to believe that one koopa was capable of massacring four brave, tough individuals. One koopa troopa glanced at Larry's empty left eye socket and turned away as he tried not to retch. The seemingly stoic koopatrol standing right beside him violently turned his head and puked all over the floor. The koopalings could only stand there, unsure of what to say or do. They never lost someone like this before—even Iggy wasn't this beat up before he died. And even if he had been, no one in the family actually _saw_ him die except for Bowser. Junior swallowed hard and exhaled, trying to figure out what to say.

"…Um…"

Junior stopped talking and lost his train of thought. He took a deep breath and started to breathe heavily, not sure what the future had in store for him or his remaining siblings or his father. Junior exhaled harshly and shook his head, feeling tears coming back again.

"We, uh…"

Junior exhaled again and sniffled, trying his hardest not to sob. Roy walked beside him and put a hand on his left shoulder.

"It's all right, bro."

Junior sniffled again before he looked up at what was left of the army, his eyes watery and red.

"We, uh, we went back to…to see if they made it."

Junior shook his head again. "They were all dead."

Several of the soldiers who were desperately struggling not to cry finally broke down in tears. A Boomerang Bro. with tears already staining his cheeks was the first one who spoke after a long silence.

"Jesus…he-he killed all four of them?!"

"Not immediately. Larry didn't die right away…" said Wendy.

The koopatrol who had puked all over the floor breathed heavily a few times before finally speaking. "Why the (censored) did you bring their bodies here? You could've just told us what happened!"

Roy thought about snapping at the koopatrol or bashing his face against the wall, but he was just too distraught and tired to fight anyone anymore. "So we can bury them, you idiot. We weren't gonna leave their bodies back there for Trowzer's goons to mutilate. …At the very least they deserve that much."

Murray looked down at Larry's body before he started to shake and sob. He walked towards his body and whimpered, feeling like he should be lying on the floor, not Larry.

"This was my fault…I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Murray, stop. You didn't—"

"I did, Wendy! I kept blaming him for what happened to my wife! I pretty much convinced him… I'm sorry!"

"Murray, he didn't do this because of what you said or because of what happened to your wife. Don't start blaming yourself for something you had no control over."

"He did it to protect all of us. They all did. All they wanted was for us to leave this castle safely. They sacrificed themselves to save us," said Roy.

"Murray, listen…I need all of you to listen," said Junior, loud enough for the group to hear.

Most of the troops kept their crying down to a minimum as they stared at Junior. Wario, Kammy Koopa, and the other high-ranking soldiers regrouped with the army. Junior shut his eyes and took another deep breath.

"We can't stay here…we have to retreat."

Many soldiers gasped. A few of them were in denial and thought that they could still get rid of Trowzer.

"But…but this is _our_ castle, Junior! This army has…we can't just leave!"

"It's only a castle…another one can be built. My dad managed to retake his castle after that Smithy guy and his army took it over. I'm sure…I'm sure we can retake this castle in the future too."

"How?! How is that remotely possible?! How the hell are we supposed to defeat someone like Trowzer?! He killed Larry, General Guy, Tutankoopa, and Henson!"

Junior blinked. "They went down fighting. They all knew they were gonna die, and instead of running away, they stood up to him and fought him. …Right before he died, Larry said that Trowzer isn't invincible. He _can_ be beaten. He _can_ be broken. We just have to figure out how to do it."

"But _how_ do we do that?"

That was the one question he had hoped Larry would answer for him before he passed away. "…We'll figure it out. In the meantime, we have to go. Our brother didn't sacrifice himself just so we could get killed senselessly. I know it's hard. I know you're all tired and I know you're all upset and don't want to do this anymore. …But this is just the way it has to be."

"There's nothing else we can do?" asked Wario.

Wendy shook her head. "Not right now, no."

Everyone in the army continued to stay silent. The only sounds heard were those of soldiers still sobbing silently and the sound of water dripping from the ceiling.

"We'll take Larry, General Guy, Tutankoopa, and Henson's bodies and bury them outside the castle. …I'll take everyone's silence as a sign that you all agree with our plans of retreat. Let's get out of here before something else bad happens," said Junior.

The army was slow to respond, but after a brief moment, everyone turned around and began to walk through the tunnel again. A couple of Sledge Bros. picked up the corpses and carefully carried them down the corridor as the army began its retreat.

* * *

Lemmy and Morton weren't sure how long they were driving, but Morton decided to stop the kart they stole so they could get out and stretch their legs. The koopalings were still sore after everything they had been through, but they weren't being chased by Trowzer's men and they were still relatively intact. The area Morton stopped at was another woods-like setting on the left side of the road. The burly koopa was busy urinating on a bush while Lemmy was simply leaning against a tree, breathing heavily and trying not to antagonize his leg. Since they were finally free and clear of Trowzer's goons, Lemmy dragged his feet across the ground and returned to the kart. He took out the cell phone that he stole from one of the dark koopas, put the battery back into it, and dialed Wendy's phone number. The koopaling put the phone up to his earhole and impatiently waited for his sister to answer the phone. It rang several times, but no one answered. Lemmy sighed heavily and dialed her number again.

"Come on, pick up the phone," he muttered.

Once again, he heard the phone ring several times, but there was no answer. Lemmy swore before he nearly slammed the phone on the ground with frustration. Remembering that the cell phone he held was the only one they had, Lemmy forced himself not to throw it down. He winced and grunted in pain as he slowly limped his way into the woods again. He dialed another koopa's phone number to see if he would answer; it was possible that Wendy just forgot her phone or that the battery was dead. He exhaled and leaned against a tree before he shut his eyes and swore again.

"Damnit! Why the hell is no one picking up their phone?!"

Morton walked over to Lemmy after hearing him shout and was shocked when he saw him using the cell phone.

"What the hell are you doing?! I thought you said they could track us if we use the phone!"

"This is important, Morton! Ever since we left the castle, we haven't been in touch with Wendy or anyone else! We gotta tell 'em about Trowzer!"

Still no answer. Lemmy shouted with frustration again before saying, "Why doesn't anyone have their cell phone on them?!"

Morton blinked. "Why don't you have your cell phone?"

Lemmy blinked. "Why don't you have _your_ cell phone?"

"You grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out of the castle before I had time to bring anything with me. Remember?"

"…Oh, right."

Morton huffed. "Our phones probably would've shattered anyway after we plunged off the road a few hours ago. Just call Danik. He's always got his cell phone on him."

"You remember his number?"

* * *

As Junior, Roy, Wendy, and the rest of their army were traveling through the tunnel, someone's cell phone began to ring loudly. A bulky Sumo Bro. wearing a blue shell blinked and stopped walking. He dug into his shell for a moment before he took out his cell phone and saw an unfamiliar number on the caller ID. Danik raised an eyebrow in confusion before he pressed the "TALK" button.

"Hello?"

"Danik?! It's Lemmy! Put Wendy on the phone right now!"

Given the Sumo Bro.'s exterior, he had no problem shoving his way towards the front of the group so he could reach the koopalings.

"Uh, Wendy? Lemmy's on the phone!"

The three siblings' eyes grew wide. "What!"

"Lemmy just called me out of the blue and said he wants to talk to you."

"…You've had your cell phone this entire time and you didn't bother using it?!" asked Roy.

Danik blinked. "What for? We were busy fighting off Trowzer's goons; I didn't have time to use it. It's not like I'm gonna call the cops for help, and I don't have much of a family to talk to. Honestly, I was thinking about getting rid of it; I barely use it anyway."

Wendy huffed. "It doesn't matter. Just give me the phone!"

Danik handed the phone over to Wendy before he started to walk with the army again. "Lemmy?"

Lemmy sighed with relief and shut his eyes. "Thank God you're fine!"

"Me? What about you and Morton?! You guys just disappeared on us—"

"I don't have time to explain! Just get the others out of the castle now! Tell Dad that Trowzer is plotting to kill him and that he needs to be stopped now!"

Wendy shut her eyes and slowly shook her head. "We know, Lemmy."

"…What do you mean, you know?"

"Trowzer was a step ahead of us, Lemmy. He had his entire army ambush us before we even had a chance to fully defend ourselves."

"So…so what are you doing now?"

"Retreating."

Lemmy started to get angry. "What do you mean you're retreating?! If you know that Trowzer—"

"We've lost too many soldiers already. Fighting him with the small group we have is pointless. There's nothing we can do right now, not until we find more soldiers."

"Are you kidding me?! After everything we planned alongside Dad, now you and the rest of the league wants—"

Lemmy abruptly stopped himself and sighed deeply. He shut his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his left hand.

"Forget it, forget it…it doesn't matter. As long as you and Dad and everyone else is safe, that's all I care about. We'll worry about the castle situation later."

Wendy paused for a very long time before she shook her head and began to open her mouth, ready to tell him what happened to Larry. But Lemmy spoke first.

"I'm fine, by the way. You don't have to worry about me—us, actually. Morton's fine too. You wanna speak to him?"

Wendy sighed. "Sure."

Lemmy handed the cell phone over to Morton, and he answered Wendy in his typical uncouth ways.

"Hey, bitch. Lemmy was saying something about you guys running away with your tails between your legs?"

Wendy blinked. "I can see _you're_ doing perfectly fine. What the hell have you and Lemmy been doing this whole time?"

"Tch! I'm not the one you should be asking! Lemmy just grabbed me while I was trying to eat a taco and then dragged me outside! He told me that Trowzer killed Iggy and that he may have captured Ludwig or something, so we took Dad's kart and went to go look for him. The next we know, BAM! There's guys on bikes chasing us, bullets are whizzing past our heads, there's big explosions and helicopters—it was insane! You should've been there, Wendy; Lemmy was a total badass! He took down a helicopter with a (censored) motorcycle!"

Wendy was actually glad that Morton's behavior hadn't changed. She even managed to smile slightly after hearing that her brother was okay.

"Sounds like you guys had a fun time."

"(CENSORED) NO! WE ALMOST DIED! What part of 'bullets whizzing past our heads' did you miss?! We barely had time to stop at a gas station before Trowzer's goons found us again! And on top of that, we crashed Dad's kart and nearly died in the process. We're okay now, but Lemmy broke his leg in the crash; I'm not sure it's fully healed yet. He's doing better than he was a couple hours ago; back then Lemmy couldn't even stand."

Morton took a deep breath and shook his head. "I'm not sure where we are, sis. I just hope we're not spotted again; I can't take all this adrenaline and stress. The last time I was this nervous, Lemmy jinxed me into pissin' myself."

"Wait, what?"

"Erm…nothing. You wanna speak to Lemmy again?"

"…Sure."

Morton handed the phone back to his brother. "Yeah?"

"So you guys are looking for Ludwig?"

Lemmy nodded. "Yeah. If he's not being held captive by Trowzer's men, then he's in trouble and they're probably hunting him down like they're hunting us down. All we know so far is that he might be in Fahr Outpost."

"That's halfway across the world, Lemmy! How do you even plan on getting there?!"

"We'll figure it out, Wendy! Don't focus on the negative right now!"

"Hey, bro? I'm, uh…I'm thinkin' we should go now. Something in my gut tells me that a bunch of dark koopas are gonna randomly show up and try to kill us again," said Morton.

Lemmy sighed. "All right. Go get the kart started."

Morton hurriedly walked over to the kart while Lemmy winced and grunted as he dragged his feet along the ground.

"So what about Roy and Junior? Are they okay?"

"Yeah, they're fine, Lemmy."

"Okay…that's good. Is Larry with you guys too? Could you put him on the phone?"

And just like that, all those painful emotions that Wendy wasn't trying to feel a couple of minutes ago were starting to come back. She stopped walking alongside the army and stood beside the wall, her eyes wide and watery. She had wanted to tell Lemmy the moment he called her, but she got caught up in the conversation she was having with Morton. Wendy breathed softly before she shut her eyes and whimpered quietly.

"Wendy? Where's Larry?"

"Oh my God, I…I forgot to tell you."

Larry stopped walking and stood beside a tree when he heard Wendy sobbing on the other end of the phone. He blinked and waited for her to speak again.

"You don't know yet…"

Lemmy opened his mouth, prepared to ask his sister what she meant by that. But Lemmy wasn't an idiot. He could tell by the sound in her voice and her sudden sobbing that Larry had been killed. Lemmy's heart crumbled. He felt a large amount of pressure in his chest that he couldn't get rid of. Lemmy let out a soft moan before he started to breathe heavily. The phone suddenly slipped out of his hand and clattered on the ground—not that Lemmy cared. The small koopaling's vision became blurred as his eyes filled with tears. He opened his mouth and whimpered before he leaned against the tree and gradually began to slide down towards the ground.

"Hey, Lemmy! C'mon, let's get going! You can talk to Wendy in the kart!"

Morton walked over to where Lemmy was and found his sobbing hysterically on the ground, his face contorted and covered in tears. Morton stopped walking and stared at his brother with confusion.

"Um…Lemmy?"

Lemmy couldn't even get the words out his mouth. He tried to tell Morton that Larry was dead, but nothing came out his mouth except more painful moans and upsetting sobbing noises. Morton just stood there, feeling very awkward as he watched his brother cry on the ground.

* * *

No one had said anything since Eddard had been killed. Marcus hadn't even tried to contact the heroes inside the hut. Everyone had stopped crying, but it felt as though their spirits had died, like there was no point in fighting the enemy anymore. Marcus was outside, sitting in front of a boulder, unable to take his eyes off Ned's corpse. Many of his commandos were confused and wondering why Marcus hadn't given the order to storm the hut and kill everyone inside. Reinforcements were already there; they were more than prepared to take down everyone inside.

"Sir? We can't stand out here all day. Do you want us to take over the hut or not?"

Marcus didn't listen to the shady koopa standing beside him. He just blinked and kept looking at the deceased yellow dinosaur. He exhaled and shook his head before finally giving an answer.

"No…just…just get more hostages."

"Sir, you just killed a kid in front of them and they still haven't come out. Do you seriously think—"

"What did I say, Dominic?"

Dominic sighed. "All right…I'll go round up the hostages some of the other shady koopas have found."

As Dominic began to walk away, Marcus slowly picked up his walkie-talkie and began to speak to the Yoshis, Geno, and Kooper again.

"Just come outside. This has gotten way out of hand. We both know that now. I didn't…I didn't want to shoot that kid. I never wanted…"

Marcus lowered his radio and sighed. He shook his head and closed his eyes before he started to speak again.

"Why bother? I'm not even gonna try to explain myself to you. It's not like any of you would care anyway. None of you are aware that some of us aren't actually evil or cold-hearted. Did it ever occur to you that we're just doing our jobs? It's just…it's a job…sometimes the job forces you do to bad things, to make bad decisions. I know that's not an excuse, but…"

Marcus lowered his walkie-talkie. He didn't see the point in trying to communicate with them anymore. The shady koopa was just about to coax the Yoshis into leaving the hut again when Tallard tossed his walkie-talkie out the window. Marcus sighed with frustration and shut his eyes. Meanwhile, everyone inside the hut was busy trying to analyze the situation in their heads. No one said a word, because they all knew that there was no getting out of here. If they tried to run, they'd be killed. If they tried to wait it out, eventually Marcus would order his men to come inside and kill them. And if they surrendered, they'd be captured or killed regardless. All their options would result in death or imprisonment.

"What do you wanna do?" Denny finally asked.

Tallard shrugged. "Don't look at me…all I'm good at is getting children killed. You guys come up with a solution. Whatever it is, I'll go along with it. I don't care anymore…"

The black dinosaur lowered his head and exhaled. "Let's surrender. …Is anyone opposed?"

"…No," said Sandra softly.

"Yes! Guys, I know that we lost two Yoshis, but there's still a way—"

"There isn't," said Geno. "After what I just saw, I don't think we have another alternative."

The male light blue Yoshi huffed. "What about you, turtle? Don't tell me you agree with them!"

Kooper didn't even glance at the light blue Yoshi. He just stared at the floor without even blinking, still traumatized over what happened to Eddard. The light blue Yoshi grew impatient and snapped at him.

"I'm talking to you, turtle!"

"Shut up and leave him alone," Geno said. "I think he's in shock. He hasn't done or said anything since Eddard was shot except blink and cry. Maybe he's lost all hope…"

Before the light blue Yoshi could say anything, the walkie-talkie that Kooper had acquired emitted a loud burst of static. Marcus began to speak again.

"Some of my guys went out to find more hostages…you know what that means. Just come out now, and I promise you…there won't be any more bloodshed today. We're all exhausted. We all want this to end. Come out the hut, and it'll be over. It's that simple."

Denny shook his head and huffed. "(Censored) it. Everyone put your guns down."

Nearly everyone in the hut disarmed themselves almost immediately. Even Tallard casually tossed his guns on the floor like they were pieces of trash. The blue-shelled koopa still hadn't moved though; he was busy staring down at the floor.

"You can't be serious!"

"Shut up, Cain. Just do what Denny says," said Sandra.

"But…"

When Cain saw that everyone had laid down their weapons and was prepared to walk outside, the light blue Yoshi lost all hope as well. He shouted and slammed his gun on the floor like a frustrated toddler before he swore to himself and shook his head.

"Great…just (censored) great."

Denny slowly opened the door to the hut and began to walk outside with his hands in the air. Everyone followed suit, including the rebellious Cain.

"Come on, Kooper. Let's go," said Geno as he grabbed Kooper's left hand.

Kooper felt like a lifeless ragdoll. Geno managed to get the koopa off the floor, but he still had his head down and still hadn't said a word. The koopa felt so weak that when Geno started to lead him outside, it looked like he was about to fall on his face. The blue-shelled koopa blinked again when he stepped outside, but his eyes were glued to the sandy beach.

"Okay, we're outside! We surrender!" shouted Denny.

Marcus quickly got up and picked up his handgun. He gestured for several shady koopas to come his way so they could capture the rebels.

"Get your hands in the air! NOW!" shouted one of the commandos.

Everyone shamefully lifted their hands in the air and waited for the shady koopas to get them. Except for Kooper. He was still staring at the ground. When the shady koopas were close to the Yoshis, they shoved some of them on the ground or quickly tied their hands behind their backs. Cain and Tallard groaned when they were roughly shoved down and had a boot pressed on their necks. Another shady koopa crouched behind them and tied them up.

"Hey! That includes you too, buddy! Get your hands in the air!"

Kooper didn't listen. He just stood still and waited for them to tie his hands together. Frustrated, one of the shady koopas walked behind Kooper and tied his hands behind his shell for him. The shady koopa noticed that Kooper hadn't said or done anything. He didn't even try to protest; it was almost like he wanted to be tied up. The other shady koopa noticed the blank gaze in Kooper's eyes, but he didn't bring it up. Once Kooper was tied up, he was shoved into the group of rebels who had also been captured. Marcus slowly approached the rebels and spoke to them again.

"See how easy that was? If you had just done that a few minutes ago, that kid over there might still be alive."

Sandra responded by spitting in Marcus' face. The shady koopa blinked once before he wiped the saliva from his nose.

"Take 'em away. Just make sure you don't kill them; we may need them in the long-run."

A couple of the rebels protested as they were being escorted down the beach, but most of them walked forward without causing any trouble. Kooper, who was seemingly catatonic since Eddard's death, suddenly perked up and looked at Marcus. He let out a vicious snarl and angrily stared at the reptile.

"I'm going to kill you…do you hear me?"

"Shut up and keep moving!"

Marcus turned and faced Kooper even as the shady koopa standing behind him kept trying to shove him forward. The blue-shelled koopa kept staring at Marcus and snarled again.

"I. Am going. _To kill you_!"

The demented, feral look in Kooper's eyes was enough to startle Marcus, thinking the reptile would eventually make good on his threat. Kooper snarled again as slobber began to come out his mouth. Geno glanced over his shoulder and noticed the state his friend was in. He was growling and snarling like a wild animal, but tears were starting to come out his eyes. Geno looked forward again and shut his eyes, deeply saddened that Kooper had been reduced to the broken koopa he was now.

There was nothing either of them could do. Unless Hooktail showed up soon, the island was lost.

* * *

Just one flight of stairs. The only thing separating Trowzer from victory was a long set of stairs leading up to double-doors. All he had to do was walk up the stairs, kick open the door, and then he'd find Bowser sitting right there on his throne, waiting patiently for Trowzer to come by and fight him. The maniacal oversized koopa could practically taste his victory; he was right there, just a couple of minutes away. Trowzer desperately wanted to get this over with right now, but he knew that he needed to rest. He knew he and his army needed to patch up their wounds and get their health back, just in case Bowser had one last trap waiting for him. Most of the army was staying out of Trowzer's way; no one wanted to be near him, especially after what they saw happen to Larry. Most of his soldiers didn't think Trowzer was capable of losing his mind over something so petty. If refusing to beg for Trowzer resulted in getting your eye crushed, what could happen if someone accidentally tripped Trowzer or said a vulgar comment to him?

Harry and Barry were trying to ignore what they saw Trowzer do, but every so often when they were reloading their guns, one of them would zone out and daydream about the ways Trowzer could torture one of them. Shannon was still being as snide as ever to the troops, even though his nose was swollen and arguably broken. Drazzik was sitting down and staring at Trowzer from afar. The demented individual was pacing back and forth as he giggled and spoke to himself. The one-eyed Fire Bro. knew Trowzer was on the verge of losing his mind again; he needed to stop Trowzer before that happened again. So Drazzik stood up from the bench he was sitting on and slowly started to approach him.

"Uh, I wouldn't," said Fred.

"You don't know him like I do. He's just…he just needs to be controlled, that's all."

"Did you see him back in that chamber?! Trowzer's a rabid chain chomp! There's no way you can control that; you either get out of its way, or you put it down! And you and I both know that no one in here's stupid enough to try and kill Trowzer, especially after what he did to Larry."

"Like I said, Fred, I know him better than you. You weren't even part of this army to begin with; you joined us after you realized how stupid Bowser is."

Fred scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm sure as hell glad I did! I mean, I don't hate Bowser, but the guy's a (censored) moron. But Trowzer…that's a whole different story. At least when I was working with Bowser, I didn't have to worry about him killing me over something miniscule."

"Just remember that you made the right choice."

Drazzik walked over to Trowzer and watched as he continued to talk to himself.

"Hehehehe, I'm coming, brother! Just a few more minutes and this castle will be mine! You'll finally see that _I'm_ better than you, brother! Yesssss…you'll finally see. You have to know this is the end—surely you-you must know that I'm going to kill you! Yessss…then it'll all be mine! You'll be dead and your glorious castle will be all mine! And then…how long have you been standing there, Drazzik?"

Drazzik shrugged. "I came around the time you were bragging about how superior you are."

Trowzer growled in his throat. "I do not need your snarky commenting right now. Can't you see? In just a few moments, this castle and everything in it will finally be mine! My brother will finally be dead!"

"Shut the (censored) up and stop bathing in your narcissism for five minutes!"

Trowzer quickly stomped over to the Fire Bro. He was so close to Drazzik that their stomachs were practically touching.

"_What did you say to me_?" he snarled.

Drazzik took two huge steps backwards and swallowed hard. "…What I meant…sir, was that…you need to start thinking about this army, about your troops. This isn't just about you; we all helped you in taking over this castle."

"What's wrong, Drazzik? Did Larry's words about what he said about me get to you?"

"It's not what he said, sir. I've been working for you for years; I know what you are, and I know how you treat others. It's what you _did_, sir. Mel and I have told you over and over again that you need to control your anger."

"My brother gets angry if he sits on a cold toilet seat."

"And that's the problem. You keep trying to convince us that you're so much better than your brother, yet you have a breakdown in front of everyone and scare the ever-loving (censored) out of them. You…you crushed _his eye_, sir. You crushed Larry's eye with your thumb and yet you continued to torture him for no reason whatsoever. The only thing you accomplished back there was showing everyone how maniacal you are. You said Bowser gets angry if he sits on a cold toilet seat. Well, has he ever beaten anyone to death just because someone didn't get on his knees and beg for mercy? And on top of that, you were gonna kill Larry _anyway_! You could've just shot him in the head or slit his throat. But no…you chose to mutilate his body in front of everyone."

Drazzik backed away again when Trowzer stepped closer to him. "I'm not saying your methods don't yield results, and I'm not saying I disapprove of your behavior. But you need to control your temper. You need to stop having breakdowns in front of everyone. If you keep doing what you did in that chamber, going around slaughtering people in vile ways, you're gonna scare everyone off. You're gonna lose your army, sir, and then you're gonna be all by yourself."

Trowzer stared at Drazzik for a moment before he smiled and nodded. "You're right. I suppose it wouldn't be very fun controlling an army of one. And I'm sure that many of the troops are a bit worried after what they saw me do to Larry. Thank you…it's good to have someone as 'truthful' as you, Drazzik."

"Okay then. So you understand what I mean. When you face Bowser and you defeat him, just kill him and be done with it. Don't make him beg; don't taunt him. Just snap his neck or shoot him in the face."

"All right."

Elsewhere, Black and Shelley were sitting on a bench beside a few Bowser pedestals. Neither of them had said much of anything ever since they saw Trowzer brutally murder Larry. Shelley was feeling roughly the same way that Black was.

"So…what now?" she abruptly asked.

Black shrugged and twiddled his thumbs. "We're stuck here. We have to keep working for Trowzer or else he'll kill us."

"Black, we might still have a chance—"

"I wasn't referring to you, Shelley. You can walk right out the door. …I'm talking about me and Green. If we leave, Trowzer's gonna kill Red—if he's not dead already. There's nothing we can do anymore…nothing."

"Black, I know that a lot has happened to you, but you can't keep whining—"

"Yellow…is dead. You wanna know what the sad thing is? That's probably _the least_ of our problems right now. My brothers and I are responsible for everything happening on Yoshi's Island right now, we blew up a facility full of innocent koopas, we betrayed Bowser, I've had to kill one of my friends and then get called a hypocrite _twice_, and now Red's been shot and he might die, and Trowzer's threatening to kill him if me, Green and Red don't do him a 'favor' in the future. Shelley, I…"

Black just shook his head and shrugged. "I don't even care anymore. It's just…it's all (censored), Shelley…that's all it is. If there's _any_ possible thing you can say to make me or Green feel better, then please tell me. Otherwise…I don't want to talk to you."

Shelley started to open her mouth, but she closed it a moment later, realizing there really _was_ nothing she could say to make him feel better. So the koopa just turned away from Black and looked forward. Black thought she was about to get up, but instead, she reached over and grabbed his left hand. Black looked down at Shelley's hand before glancing up at the female koopa. She probably knew that Black wouldn't feel better anytime soon, but at least she could try and convince him that he wouldn't be suffering alone. She wanted to tell him that he still had someone who cared about him other than his brothers. Shelley turned and looked at Black as well, and the two koopas stared at each other for a brief moment. Unfortunately, the tender moment was ruined when someone kicked open the door at the top of the staircase.

"What the hell?!"

Trowzer grinned. "Is that you, brother? Got tired of sitting on your mighty throne all night?"

Someone jumped from the top of the stairs and landed right next to the bottom step with a thunderous thud. Everyone took caution and grabbed their weapons, hoping that this lone soldier wouldn't be too much of a hassle. The koopatrol breathed heavily before he blinked and stared at Trowzer and his entire army. Some of the troops who used to be on Bowser's side began to back away from the menacing koopatrol. His shell, helmet, and armor were all jet black instead of gray like a normal koopatrol's gear was. His eyes were a bright crimson color, and he always seemed to glare angrily at everyone.

"Please no…please tell me this is a bad dream," said a worried koopa troopa.

Croco noticed the koopatrol with black armor almost immediately and grinned. "And here I thought you were just an urban legend."

The evil koopatrol ignored everyone else and stared directly at Trowzer. "Ssssso, it sssseemssss we finally meet each other, Trowzer."

The giant blue-shelled koopa shrugged. "You seem to know a lot about me, but I don't recall seeing you before. What's your name?"

The koopatrol let out a raspy growl. "My name issss Bassilisssxxx. I'm the new leader of King Bowssser'ssss Koopa Guard. I mussst ssssay, I am quite impresssssed that you were sssmart enough to pull all thisss off. Even I thought you would never get thisss far. But it all sssstopssss here."

"Let me ask you something, Basilisx: what made you think I wouldn't shoot you the second you jumped down here?"

Basilisx growled in a raspy tone again. "Becaussse you're like me. You wouldn't wassste the opportunity to facccce a worthy foe head-on."

Trowzer laughed evilly. "Normally, I'd agree with you! I'd love to sit here and get into a long and probably arduous fight with you! Alas, you're not my mortal enemy. Bowser is. And after everything I've experienced tonight, I've realized that being cocky and overconfident gets you nowhere. I've learned that if you have the opportunity to shoot someone in the back of the head, you may as well go ahead and take it. I really do want to fight you one-on-one—I really do—but I just don't have the time for it. Take him out, Kolley."

A very large Sledge Bro. grabbed his massive hammer and grunted. He started to walk towards Basilisx very slowly, his giant feet making slight tremors in the floor. Then he held his hammer over his head and let out a battle cry as he ran towards the menacing koopatrol. Basilisx stared directly at him without even budging. There was a sudden flash, and then Kolley grunted and immediately stopped moving. He let out a couple of faint grunts before his legs and arms started to crackle. Everyone gasped and watched in horror as Kolley was turned into stone in mere seconds. His mouth was still open with shock and the giant hammer was still clutched in his hands. Basilisx quickly jumped in the air and kicked Kolley's head off. It landed on the floor and shattered into hundreds of pieces. Basilisx growled and nonchalantly stepped in front of Kolley's headless body now made of stone.

"…No matter. I have hundreds of soldiers in my army. Soldiers with guns, I should add. Do you really think you can kill _all of us_?" asked Trowzer.

"I intend to."

Without warning, Trowzer took out his handgun and pointed it directly at Basilisx. He didn't take any chances; he emptied his entire clip on the koopatrol, hoping at least one bullet would put him down for good. But Basilisx's quick reflexes and super speed allowed him to dodge and duck every bullet that was fired his way. Not a single one managed to graze his helmet or armor. Trowzer's eyes grew wide when he noticed how tough Basilisx really was.

"Are you going to fight now, or jusssst sssstand there and continue to be a coward?"

Trowzer's eye twitched. He lowered his handgun and shook his head. "Such a pity…you could've been very useful in my army."

"My allegianccccce to Bowsssser with never weaken."

Trowzer scoffed. He didn't have time for this. "KILL HIM!"

The troops all pointed their guns at Basilisx and prepared to shoot. Basilisx got in his fighter stance and extended the three claws that came out of his arms. Some of the troops hesitated when they saw Basilisx unleash his claws, but most of them were still eager to kill the koopatrol. They all fired, not taking any chances this time. Basilisx quickly hid in his shell and began to spin himself around wildly. Then he shot himself forward, zipping his way through any troops that were in his way. Some of Trowzer's koopas shouted or grunted as they tripped over Basilisx's spiky shell. The troops with automatic rifles were still shooting as Basilisx, but most of the bullets weren't making contact. Those that did ricocheted off his shell, as though it were impervious to bullets. The troops with automatic rifles began to panic when Basilisx got closer and closer to them. One dark koopa backed away when he noticed that Basilisx was gunning right for him.

"(CENSORED)!"

Basilisx emerged from his shell and immediately jumped into the air. He swiped his claws at the dark koopa's gun, cutting it in half. Then he slashed the dark koopa's throat with the claws on his left hand. As the dark koopa let out a gurgling moan, Basilisx flipped backwards and sliced two more assault rifles in half. Without even batting an eye, he swiped his claws to the left and right and slashed two more throats. Basilisx heard a loud roar from behind and saw another Sledge Bro. storming his way. Basilisx grunted and hopped backwards as the Sledge Bro. slammed his massive hammer into the floor. Basilisx quickly zoomed forward and swiped his claws across the reptile's stomach. The Sledge Bro. gurgled as his intestines began to spill out; Basilisx jerked the Sledge Bro. around and used him as a shield to avoid incoming gunfire. Once Basilisx realized that the Sledge Bro.'s body was of no use, he discarded the corpse and jumped to his right. Basilisx stared at six shady koopas with submachine guns and growled. There was another great flash, and the shady koopas all screamed seconds before they were turned into stone.

The koopatrol leaped forward and constantly hid in his shell. Bullets were coming at him from all directions; he had to be careful so he didn't get hit. Taking a small risk, Basilisx emerged from his shell and noticed he was in front of a Boomerang Bro. The Boomerang Bro. was equipped with two boomerangs that had lethal spikes on the edges of them for tearing through flesh. He tossed both of them at Basilisx, but the koopatrol merely jumped into the air, hid in his shell, and then spun himself around so he could deflect the boomerangs. The Boomerang Bro. didn't even get the chance to gasp before one of the boomerangs sliced his head clean off. The other boomerang sliced another shady koopa's mouth wide open. A Fire Bro. tried to grab Basilisx from behind so he could snap his neck. Basilisx immediately jerked his head backwards so he hit the Fire Bro. in the nose. Then he turned around and upper-cutted the Fire Bro. into the air. Basilisx snarled and leaped into the air just as the Fire Bro. began to fall down. The next thing the Fire Bro. knew, Basilisx was slicing his body to shreds with his claws. He kept disappearing and reappearing in thin air, teleporting in different positions so he could slice the Fire Bro. at a different area. Everyone stopped firing and just stared at Basilisx with wide eyes.

"WHAT THE (CENSORED)?!"

Basilisx snarled before he slammed the Fire Bro. into the floor with both fists. He hit the floor so hard that it left a giant hole in it, with the Fire Bro.'s lacerated corpse lying inside. As Basilisx landed on the floor, he snarled and leaped forward, attacking the shady koopa in front of him. His vision suddenly disappeared; Basilisx has sliced his eyes in half. The shady koopa couldn't even scream before Basilisx stabbed him in the throat. Basilisx turned to the right and immediately stabbed another shady koopa in the throat. Basilisx hid in his shell just when someone fired a shotgun round at him; he almost got hit in the head. When he emerged, he saw Fred running towards him with a black shotgun in his hands. Basilisx strafed to the left and avoided another shell; he strafed to the right and nearly got hit in the stomach again. Before Fred could fire a third time, Basilisx dashed forward and sliced the shotgun in half. Then he swiped his claws against Fred's face. Fred dropped the useless shotgun and backed away, his legs shaking. There were three huge scars on his face and they were starting to bleed very slowly. Fred let out a small grunt before he collapsed onto his shell.

Basilisx hid behind a giant column to avoid more gunfire before he peeked across the corner and saw four dark koopas running his way. He retracted his claws and spread his arms apart. A normal person would've thought that Basilisx was trying to clothesline them, but when two of the koopas were very close, Basilisx extended his claws again. The lethal claws sliced through their necks like a giant axe, and the koopas' heads slid off their shoulders. Basilisx peeked behind the corner and stabbed one of the dark koopas in the abdomen before rushing towards the other one and using him as a shield. Ilnyash and a couple of dark koopatrols fired at Basilisx, but it was pointless. They ended up hitting the dark koopa by mistake and all the bullets that hit Basilisx only grazed off his helmet. Basilisx kicked the body down before staring at the dark koopatrols. Ilnyash was smart enough to turn away and shut his eyes, but the dark koopatrols were turned to stone after the bright flash. However, before Ilnyash could lift his gun, Basilisx grabbed one of the petrified dark koopatrols like he was a baseball bat and swung the stony body against Ilnyash's head. The blue koopatrol shouted as he flew through the air and his body slammed head-first against a pedestal.

Basilisx spun around the room wildly, whacking everyone in his way with the petrified dark koopatrol. Some soldiers shouted or grunted when they got hit; a few lost some teeth or suffered from a broken nose. Others got hit too hard and had their necks broken or their skull fractured. Basilisx stopped spinning and noticed he was right in front of Mel. The stoic dark koopatrol lifted his handgun too late; Basilisx snarled and violently tossed the stony dark koopatrol at Mel's head. The body shattered into thousands of pieces; the force of the impact made Mel jerk his head back and step backwards. But then Mel just looked at Basilisx again, utterly expressionless, as though getting clocked in the head with a petrified body didn't hurt him at all. The two stoic koopas stared at each other for a moment before Mel blinked. And then Mel slowly fell over and landed face-first on the floor with a hard thud, unconscious. Basilisx snatched Mel's handgun from the floor and jumped into the air again. Acting as quickly as possible, he jerked his hand left and right and erratically fired at Trowzer's troops, hitting six of them and killing four of those six.

The black-armored koopatrol punched a Hammer Bro. in the face before he even had the chance to strike. Then Basilisx extended his six claws and began to stab the Hammer Bro. with them faster than lightning. Blood began to fly into the air and get all over Basilisx's body; there were some many lacerations on the Hammer Bro. that it looked like he just finished crawling through barbed wire. The Hammer Bro. let out a tiny, gurgled whimper before Basilisx finished him off and lashed his throat open. Basilisx jumped high into the air again and stared at Trowzer's entire army. The giant koopa was smart enough to realize what was about to happen and turned away.

"SHIELD YOUR EYES!"

At least half of Trowzer's remaining forces didn't react quickly enough. There was a giant flash that virtually engulfed the entire chamber. Several soldiers screamed for a second or two before a deafening crackling noise filled the room. Trowzer opened his eyes and swore with frustration. So many of his soldiers had been turned into stone. Trowzer looked all around and noticed that his army was considerably smaller. Basilisx landed on the floor with a shattering thud and hissed as he stared at Trowzer.

"Are we done here? Or would you like me to ssssslay even more of your troopsssss?"

Trowzer ditched his handgun, realizing that it was pointless to use any firearms against this koopatrol. He roared with fury before he charged towards Basilisx and lashed his claws at him. Basilisx backed away twice before he rolled to his right to avoid getting stomped on. Trowzer snarled and lashed his claws at Basilisx. Only this time he grabbed him before Basilisx had the time to get away.

"GOTCHA!"

Basilisx grunted and hissed as he tried to wiggle his way to freedom. Trowzer snarled and opened his mouth, desperate to rip Basilisx's throat out with his teeth. The koopatrol panted and shoved Trowzer's head back as Trowzer snarled and drooled, longing to kill Basilisx as soon as possible. Basilisx extended his claws again before he rammed his left hand forward. The claws penetrated Trowzer's stomach and made his eyes go wide. He howled in pain and backed away, dropping Basilisx.

"Trowzer!" shouted Shannon.

The troops who weren't dead, unconscious, or turned into stone began to join the fight. Croco and his two bandits started to throw bombs at the speedy koopatrol. Basilisx jumped and flipped around like a jackrabbit, avoiding all the dangerous explosives thrown his way. Basilisx sprinted towards Croco and his bandits and immediately went for their bags. The koopatrol flipped over their bodies and sliced the bandits' sacks of explosives open. One bandit shouted when a lit explosive landed right behind his feet. The other bandit shoved him out the way and heroically threw himself over the bomb so it wouldn't harm anyone else. After the bomb exploded and killed the bandit, Basilisx swiped his claws at the other bandit and kicked him against a stone column. Croco shouted and used his skull as a battering ram, knocking Basilisx several feet away. The koopatrol recovered and landed on his feet, panting. Shannon and Barry joined in on the fight and attacked Basilisx all at once. Croco threw his bombs at the koopatrol while Barry threw one of his two knives at him. Basilisx hid in his shell and spun around in the air again, deflecting both the bombs and the knife.

Barry shouted and veered to the left so the knife wouldn't lodge itself in his face. Shannon shouted and backed away when Croco accidentally threw one of the bombs near his feet. Basilisx and Croco charged towards each other; the latter continued to throw more bombs at Basilisx, but he kept knocking them away. Croco roared and prepared to slam his head into Basilisx's chest again. This time Basilisx took out a poisonous mushroom and tossed it right into Croco's mouth. Shannon started to run behind Basilisx, hoping he'd be able to grab him from behind and snap his neck. Basilisx charged towards the visibly sick crocodile, watching as Croco retched and coughed, his face an unhealthy green color. Basilisx retracted his claws and immediately punched Croco as hard as he could in the solar plexus. The fierce punch, combined with the effects of the poisonous mushroom, sent a wave of bile up Croco's throat. Basilisx saw Croco's cheek bloat and immediately side-stepped him. Shannon, however, was still running directly behind Basilisx. Everything all happened at once: Basilisx stepped to his right, Shannon inadvertently sprinted right in front of Croco, and the purple crocodile opened his mouth and violently threw up in Shannon's face. Shannon shouted and backed away as the foul-smelling, chunky crocodile vomit splashed all over his face, arms, legs, and abdomen.

"GODDAMNIT!"

Shannon dropped his weapons and screamed as he tried to get the slightly acidic slop out of his eyes. Croco just bent over and puked on the floor again before Basilisx rammed into the crocodile helmet-first. The spike on the top of his helmet pierced Croco's flesh and sent him flying through the air. His body slammed against the wall and he landed on the floor, either unconscious or dead. Basilisx turned around just in time; Barry had showed up and tried to stab him in the throat with his knives. Basilisx blocked Barry's attack with his claws. The dinosaur and koopatrol grunted and hissed at each other, their sharp weapons scraping against one another. Eventually, Barry broke through Basilisx's defense and tried to slice his neck in half. Basilisx panted as he backed away from the blue Yoshi's various knife attacks. Basilisx just barely managed to make out a red figure in Barry's right eye. He saw Barry grin and noticed that the dinosaur was leading him into a trap. Basilisx quickly glanced behind his shoulder and saw Harry standing behind him, ready to shoot him dead. Basilisx used his super speed to flip over Barry's head and then use his body as a shield; it all happened in a second or less.

"DON'T—"

Harry reacted too late. He didn't realize who he was shooting at until _after_ he pulled the trigger. Barry grunted and fell over after Harry accidentally shot him in the stomach. Harry's eyes grew wide when he discovered that he just shot his brother. The red Yoshi thought Barry would get up, but after a few seconds, he didn't move. Before the dinosaur could check on him, Basilisx hid in his shell, spun around with astounding speed, and darted forward. He bounced off of Harry's skull, causing the dinosaur to flip through the air twice before landing next to a Bowser pedestal with blood trickling down his head. As Basilisx emerged from his shell, Shannon finally managed to get all the vomit out his eyes. He shook his head and groaned with disgust before he located Basilisx. At the same time, Trowzer began to join the fight once again, treating his wound to the belly as nothing more than scars. He charged towards Basilisx before using his deadly fire breath against him. Basilisx jumped into the air and flipped over the koopa's body before Trowzer immediately turned around and started to throw punches.

Shannon was still trying to sneak up on Basilisx as he carried a lethal knife in his hand. Basilisx jumped backwards twice and extended his claws. The koopatrol snarled and violently stabbed at Trowzer multiple times in only a couple seconds. Trowzer hid in his shell and performed a Whirling Fortress move on the floor; Basilisx's claws couldn't penetrate the shell. When Trowzer emerged, he snarled and veered his head backwards. Basilisx threw himself to the left just as Trowzer performed a powerful headbutt. Unfortunately, Shannon repeated the same mistake he made with Croco. Just when Shannon was about to attack Basilisx, he moved out the way, causing Shannon to inadvertently put himself in harm's way. Trowzer accidentally headbutted Shannon right in the face. His rock-hard skull slammed into Shannon's nose; if it wasn't broken before, it certainly was now. Shannon was hurled backwards several feet. He flipped around in the air before landing face-down on the hard floor, too weak to move due to the blunt trauma to the head. Meanwhile, Basilisx took out Shelley before she had the chance to attack him. He dodged the three bullets she fired at him before punching her across the face four times. There was another bright flash, but he didn't stare at Shelley and turn her into stone. Instead, he charged himself up so he could unleash a devastating kick.

Basilisx grunted and jump-kicked Shelley clear across the room. The koopa troopa grunted as she slammed into one of the tall windows; she fell to the floor and lost consciousness seconds later as the window began to crack. Black was about to call out Shelley's name when Basilisx was onto him and Green. Both of them backed away and fired at the speedy koopatrol with their handguns, but Basilisx was too fast. Any shot he didn't dodge he simply deflected when he spun around in his shell. Basilisx even managed to use his claws to slice the bullets in half, similar to an expert swordsman deflecting bullets with his sword. Green and Black didn't even have time to swear once they ran out of ammo. Basilisx charged towards them and effortlessly bonked their heads together, knocking them out. Trowzer snarled seconds before he wrapped his arms around Basilisx and picked him up from behind. Basilisx hissed and snarled as he tried to wiggle his way free, but Trowzer didn't plan on letting him go this time. He squeezed very tightly, hoping that Basilisx's spine would snap with enough pressure. However, Basilisx's claws saved him again; he swiped them at Trowzer's left arm, which caused the beast to shout and drop Basilisx.

The black-armored koopatrol was just about to finish Trowzer when Drazzik came to the rescue. The one-eyed Fire Bro. started to spit fire pellets at him and hurl fireballs his way. Basilisx grunted as a few pellets hit him in the face, but soon afterwards he managed to flip and hop his way to safety. Trowzer ignored his wounds and joined in on the action. He swiped his claws at the floor in hopes of tripping the koopatrol before dashing towards him and using his skull like a battering ram. Basilisx was hit dead in his chest and knocked backwards a few feet. The koopatrol rolled around for a moment before he finally got off his shell. The koopatrol gasped when he saw Trowzer inhaled and then release a powerful stream of reddish-orange fire breath at him. Simultaneously, Drazzik spat a few fire pellets at him. Basilisx jumped several feet into the air, flipped over the two remaining foes, and landed perfectly behind them like a professional acrobat. Trowzer and Drazzik began to fight Basilisx simultaneously, and the koopatrol found himself stuck in-between both foes. On his left, Drazzik was panting and grunting as he punched and kicked wildly, occasionally tossing a few fireballs at Basilisx. On his right, Trowzer was lashing his claws at him and throwing vicious headbutts or punches. Basilisx grunted when a fireball exploded on his helmet; he turned to his left and began to lash his claws at Drazzik. Basilisx grunted again when Trowzer clocked him in the back of his head with his fist.

The tag-teaming didn't last forever. Trowzer jumped into the air and prepared to do his infamous Trowzer Bomb move. Basilisx looked up and could see Trowzer was about to slam into the floor butt first. Thinking quickly, he grabbed Drazzik and shoved him backwards before Basilisx threw himself forward. As a result, Trowzer wound up butt-stomping on Drazzik's head, pinning him to the floor. If he hadn't been wearing his helmet, Drazzik might've died right then and there. But the blow was enough to render the Fire Bro. unconscious. Trowzer got up and looked around the chamber. Everyone around him was dead, unconscious, petrified, or too injured to keep fighting. There was no one left except for him and Basilisx. Now that he was finally alone, Basilisx unleashed all his power onto the cold-hearted oversized koopa. There was a bright flash, and Basilisx charged himself up to deliver another deadly kick. Trowzer shouted as he was kicked in the abdomen and sent backwards a few feet. Basilisx jumped forward, and the two reptiles started to lash their claws at each other furiously. Their claws scraped against one another, similar to the sound metal makes when scraped against metal. It sounded like they were having a violent swordfight.

Trowzer notice that he was slowly getting pushed backwards. Basilisx was too quick for him; he may have been weaker, but he was also faster, more agile. Trowzer needed to find a way to end this quickly. He moved backwards and watched as Basilisx swiped at nothing but air. Then he jumped forward, snarling as he grabbed Basilisx by the throat with one hand. He held the black-armored koopatrol in the air and began to choke him. Using his other hand, Trowzer made a fist and began to punch Basilisx in the face over and over again, listening to the metallic clunk emitted once his fist made contact with the metal part of the helmet shielding his nose. Basilisx started to become weak; each punch felt like he was getting tackled by a rhino. Suddenly, Basilisx jerked his left hand upwards and jabbed his hand forward, stabbing Trowzer right through the knuckles with his claws. Trowzer roared in pain and dropped Basilisx before he backed away. He panted and groaned in pain as he looked down at his bleeding hand. Suddenly, Trowzer looked up and saw a spinning black shell zooming towards his face. Trowzer grunted as Basilisx slammed into his face while he hid in his shell.

Trowzer shut his eyes and shook his head before he shouted and moved forward after Basilisx bonked him in the back of the head. Then Trowzer shouted and tripped, landing face-down on the floor after Basilisx zipped at his feet. Basilisx was moving around the room like a pinball, bouncing off the walls and columns before he circled around and hit Trowzer in various areas of the body. Trowzer just lied on the floor shouting each time he was smacked somewhere on his body by Basilisx's fast moving shell. Trowzer saw Basilisx go into the air and finally come out his shell. But he stayed on the floor and kept looking up. Growling, he watched as Basilisx came down, claws extended, ready to stab Trowzer in the back of the neck. Trowzer shifted forward one foot before he shouted and jumped straight up, hitting Basilisx in the face with his spiky shell. Basilisx shouted as he was hurled into the air; Trowzer immediately stood up and made a fist with his right hand. Before Basilisx hit the floor, Trowzer upper-cutted the black-armored koopatrol back into the air. When Basilisx came down once again, Trowzer kicked at his body, knocking him several feet across the room. The wounded Basilisx got to his feet and shook his head just when Trowzer brutally punched him in the face.

Not taking any chances, Trowzer grunted and punched Basilisx over and over again in the head, snarling and shouting as his fists pounded into the smaller koopatrol. Basilisx ducked and avoided a punch so he could stab Trowzer in the arm. Trowzer shouted, but he didn't start to holler in pain until Basilisx rolled beneath Trowzer and stabbed him in his right foot. Trowzer yelped and grabbed his bleeding right foot in pain. He started to groan and whine as he hopped around like an idiot on his left foot only, trying to force himself not to trip. If Basilisx was capable of smiling, he'd be grinning at the way Trowzer was hopping around. Trowzer whined and eventually put his right foot down, wincing at the searing pain going through his foot. But Trowzer wasn't giving up. He charged towards Basilisx again before roaring and readying himself to punch the black-armored koopatrol. Basilisx swiped his claws at Trowzer's knuckles again, causing them to bleed horribly. Basilisx side-stepped Trowzer as the giant shouted again. He tripped over someone's body and landed on the floor. Basilisx stood and looked at Trowzer, watching as the giant beast breathed heavily. He was obviously tired of all this fighting, and he was beginning to bleed from multiple areas of his body. Basilisx hissed and slowly approached Trowzer, ready to sever his head from his shoulders with his claws.

"Okay…I-I give…you've beaten me," said Trowzer with defeat.

Basilisx hissed. "Yessssss, that'ssss it. Acccccept your losssss like a true combatant."

Trowzer clearly wouldn't give up that easily. He was just waiting to spring a trap on Basilisx. Trowzer glanced behind his shoulder and waited until the black-armored koopatrol was standing less than a foot away from him. Then Trowzer grunted and unleashed a nasty and powerful cloud of gas from his behind. Basilisx shouted and began to cough as the greenish fumes began to cloud his nostrils and red eyes, causing them to water. The rotten stench of brimstone and smoke was too much for Basilisx to bear.

"REALLY?! ARE YOU SSSSSERIOUSSSS?!"

Trowzer didn't enjoy farting as much as his brother did. He wasn't even that much of a fan when it came to toilet humor. But there was literally no other option he could think of that would catch Basilisx off guard. After all, no one would suspect their enemy to use flatulence as a weapon. Basilisx was still coughing and gagging when Trowzer got off the floor and tackled Basilisx down. Too angry and frustrated to think of anything creative to do, Trowzer got on top of Basilisx and started to punch him in the head with both fists. He didn't even care that his knuckles were bleeding and had been damaged by Basilisx's claws. All the endorphins pumping into his body made him feel no pain. Basilisx lost count of how many times Trowzer punched him, but the koopatrol did notice that one of his teeth was loose, and he was having trouble seeing out of one eye now. Tired, Trowzer took a few deep breaths before he punched Basilisx again. He took another few breaths before punching the red-eyed koopatrol yet again. Before Trowzer could do more damage, Basilisx quickly lashed at Trowzer's face with his claws. Trowzer yelped and immediately got off Basilisx, grabbing his face and left eye. His left eye had almost been cut in half, and three large scars were going down his face diagonally.

Basilisx panted and slowly got off the floor. He breathed heavily before lazily running over to Trowzer and stabbing him in the stomach and left leg. Trowzer screamed before he shoved Basilisx away and backed up. Trowzer panted heavily and collapsed from all the pain. He fell to his knees, but eventually got back up so he could continue the fight. This had gone on for far too long. He needed to end this right now. Trowzer watched as Basilisx extended his claws and began to walk forward.

"You thought you had me back there, didn't you? Breaking wind in my facccce…hmph. What a clever thing to do. Dissssgussssting and childish…but clever nonthelessssss."

Trowzer, even in his beaten up state, managed to smirk at Basilisx. "I don't fight fair. I fight _smart_."

"And your idea of ssssmart wasssss to fart in my facccce?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

Basilisx hissed. "Fair or not, it sssseemssss assss though you sssstill weren't good enough to bessssst me in battle. I'm afraid that thissss issss the end for you. Goodbye, Trowzer."

And with that, Basilisx charged towards Trowzer, ready to impale him with his giant claws. Trowzer just stayed still and waited for the inevitable to happen. Just as Basilisx grunted and stabbed Trowzer, Trowzer grabbed the red-eyed koopatrol by the throat. Trowzer's eye twitched after he was stabbed, but the claws didn't penetrate his heart or any other vital organs. Nevertheless, it still tore through his flesh and scraped against his ribs. Basilisx gagged and struggled as Trowzer brutally choked him with both hands. Then Trowzer growled deeply and grinned widely.

"Goodbye, Basilisx."

Trowzer shouted ferociously as he tossed Basilisx's body over his head like he was a measly twig. Basilisx's claws slipped out of Trowzer's midriff, and Basilisx flipped through the air multiple times. Unfortunately, he was hurled right towards the window that had cracked after Shelley bounced off the glass pane. The window shattered into thousands of pieces, and Basilisx found himself spinning out of control in midair outside of the castle. Gravity eventually took place, and Basilisx screamed as he fell. They were practically on the top floor of the castle—a castle that was surrounded by lava. Trowzer didn't look out the window to see if Basilisx was dead or not. Even if he had survived the fall, Basilisx would probably be paralyzed from the neck down. Trowzer didn't care anymore. He just wanted Basilisx gone, and now he was. Unfortunately, the pain started to kick in, and Trowzer found himself panting heavily as he staggered and dragged his feet across the floor. Trowzer put a hand over his left eye and noticed that the left side of his face was bleeding terribly. When Trowzer arrived to the stairs leading up to Bowser's personal chamber, his legs began to shake. The giant koopa huffed a few times before he finally collapsed.

Trowzer grinned widely and started to laugh. Grunting and straining, Trowzer tried to pull himself up each step, desperate to put his half-brother in the grave. Trowzer gritted his teeth and grunted as he dragged his battered body up two steps. He still had a long way to go, but Trowzer's determination didn't falter. Elsewhere, a white magikoopa slowly opened his eyes and groaned. The white magikoopa was one of the many soldiers who were whacked in the head when Basilisx used a petrified dark koopatrol as a weapon. The magikoopa grunted and sat up, shutting his eyes and rubbing his throbbing head. When he opened his eyes and blinked a few times, he turned his head and saw Trowzer crawling his way up the stairs.

"Tr…Trowzer?"

The white magikoopa grunted as he got to his feet, wobbling a little as he started to walk forward. The wizard noticed that Trowzer was leaving a trail of blood as he moved forward and realized that he was injured.

"Trowzer!"

The wounded magikoopa limped his way to Trowzer and grabbed him by the shell. Trowzer wearily tried to shove the white magikoopa away.

"Trowzer, you need to stop! You're in no condition to fight!"

Trowzer let out a raspy gasping noise as he slowly extended his right hand into the air, acting like a toddler trying to get a toy just out of his grasp. The white magikoopa noticed that Trowzer's right hand was bloody and shaking horribly. But Trowzer didn't care. He opened his mouth and let out a weak laugh before smiling.

"Right…right there…he's right there…I'm so close…right there…"

Trowzer laughed again before the white magikoopa grabbed Trowzer and grunted as he slowly rolled him over. The magikoopa looked down at Trowzer's torso, face and legs, noticing all the scars he had acquired. Basilisx's last attack went deep into Trowzer's flesh, causing him to bleed at a very fast rate.

"Sir, I know how adamant you are about getting rid of your brother, but think rationally! You're in no condition to fight him now! And even if you were, you wouldn't last very long—not with these wounds! It's a miracle that guy didn't stab you in the heart or lungs! We have to wait a little longer; we gotta stay here and get everyone patched up again."

Trowzer looked down at his torso. He'd be lying if he said he didn't look worried after he noticed how much blood he was starting to lose. Trowzer exhaled.

"Fine…so be it then…what about those turned into stone?"

"Don't worry. There's a couple of magikoopas here who can negate the spell; we'll figure something out. But…sir, you need to understand, after we patch up these wounds, you still won't be fully healed. You need a hospital, you need rest—"

Trowzer grabbed the white magikoopa by the throat and growled. "Just…just…do what you can. I…I don't need to be at one hundred percent to beat my brother. …Just heal me enough so that I can fight him…I don't care about anything else…"

"But…sir—" gagged the white magikoopa.

The white magikoopa's eyes nearly popped out his head when Trowzer squeezed even harder.

"I. Don't. Care. I am tired of waiting…I am tired of all these obstacles in…in my way. I want this to end. I want all of this to be over. _Now_."

The white magikoopa gasped and coughed a few more times when Trowzer let go of him. The giant koopa slowly stood up again and got on his feet.

"I'm almost there, brother! Just…just a little while longer! And then it'll all be mine! Just…"

Trowzer coughed up a little blood before he laughed weakly again. Shortly afterwards, he collapsed on the stairs and passed out. The white magikoopa looked at all the carnage around him before he started to wake up the other unconscious magikoopas. They needed to heal Trowzer as soon as possible so he would be ready to face Bowser head on. And then, finally, the climactic battle would begin.

It was almost over now.

**A/N: I probably don't need this, but I'm gonna put it here anyway. Basilisx is copyrighted to the SMBZ series. I do not own Basilisx; the creator of SMBZ, Alvin-Earthworm, does. The creator has personally given me permission to use Basilisx in this fanfic. …I was gonna write this at the beginning of the chapter, but then that would've spoiled Basilisx's surprise appearance.**


	56. Fall

**With Big Shells and Wings**

**Summary:** Sometimes the ending you want isn't the ending you get.

**Fall**

**A/N: Wow…it's been over four years since I've started this story, and now it's finally coming to an end. It's strange really; I didn't expect the story to get this far or serious. Or dark. Guess it just shows how much I've changed since I first started the fanfic. Anyway, I just wanna thank everyone who stuck around from start to finish and is a really big fan of the story. After all, many of you are part of the reason why I decided to keep the story going. So here it is…the last chapter of **_**With Big Shells and Wings**_**. Enjoy!**

It was all going to end soon. All Trowzer needed to do now was make his way into Bowser's room and the final battle would begin. The giant behemoth was miraculously still alive, in large part thanks to his white magikoopas and a tremendous amount of healing shrooms. Luckily, those who had been turned into stone were fine as well. The koopa wizards who were still alive found a way to nullify Basilisx's spell. Those who hadn't been killed or severely incapacitated were up and moving about now. Like Trowzer, they received the proper remedies and had their wounds patched up so they would be ready for combat in case there were any more surprises. Of course, even though everyone was patched up, some of the survivors weren't happy with their current predicament. Barry was sitting on the floor and breathing heavily as his brother wrapped gauze around his abdomen.

"Can't believe you (censored) shot me."

"Shut up, Barry. It was an accident."

"An accident that you caused, Harry!"

"You should be lucky, bro. I didn't hit any organs and you didn't lose too much blood."

"But you (censored) shot me! You know what it feels like to get shot by your own brother?!"

Harry blinked. "Yeah. You shot me in the butt by 'accident' last year. Remember?"

Barry paused for a long time. "No…" he lied.

Harry smirked. "Guess we're even now."

Elsewhere, Mel, Drazzik, and Shannon were all sitting down near the staircase, watching Trowzer from afar. The giant koopa was panting heavily and catching his breath as he scarfed down as many shrooms as he could. Mel and Drazzik were busy massaging their heads with bags of ice while Shannon had a bloody handkerchief pressed against his snout. Drazzik was staring at Trowzer, clearly wondering what state of mind the giant beast was in.

"You're worried about him," said Mel.

Drazzik huffed. "Of course I'm worried. You and I both know how Trowzer is; we both know what he's capable of. I just fear that he'll push himself too hard with Bowser and they'll both end up getting killed."

Shannon snickered and wiped more blood from his broken snout. "Good. Then maybe someone else could be the leader of this army."

Mel and Drazzik turned and stared at Shannon before blinking. "What does that mean?"

Shannon shrugged. "I'm just sayin'."

"You're just sayin'. Exactly _what_ are you saying?" asked Mel.

Shannon chuckled. "Oh, come on, guys! Don't tell me you never daydreamt about what it would be like to bask in all the glory, to have all the wealth, to have all these soldiers in front of you chant your name after you've conquered the world and have given them everything they've asked for!"

"Of course we have. But that's just not who we are. We don't have the skills or mentality to rule this entire army," said Mel.

"Pah! You two both know that Trowzer is gonna lead us all straight to Hell! You saw what he did to Larry back there! Do you seriously think he's fit to rule?"

Mel abruptly changed the subject. "How's your snout doing?"

"Whuh?" Shannon removed his handkerchief and rubbed his nose. It still hurt, but the blood stopped dripping from the nostrils. "Oh, I guess it's fine. It stopped bleeding—AAAAAAUUUGH!"

Mel reached forward and yanked Shannon by the snout before pinching down on the nostrils. The dark koopa started to pant and whimper as Mel stood up and looked Shannon in the eyes, his emotionless, crimson orbs delving into Shannon's mind.

"Trowzer is our leader. That's how it was before, that's how it is now, and that's how it's gonna be once Bowser's dead. No one here is going to take his place, especially not some smug little git like you. If I hear you speaking this way again, I won't just break your nose again. I'll slice it off. Do you understand?"

Shannon panted and whimpered. "Yes, yes! Just let me go!"

Mel let go of Shannon's snout and shoved him against a wall. Seconds later, his nose began to bleed again, which forced the dark koopa to press his handkerchief against his nostrils. Elsewhere, Croco had finished patching up his wound and noticed Green and Black sitting by themselves near one of the Bowser pedestals. The crocodile was finally past his bouts of nausea and was back to his cocky self. Knowing that Green and Black could be valuable assets, he slowly approached the two ninjakoopas and sat down beside them.

"Aww, what's wrong? Having trouble making friends?"

Black didn't even look up at Croco. Green took the ice bag off his head and huffed. "Shut up, Croco. We're not in the (censored) mood right now."

Croco snickered. "Relax…I didn't come here to taunt you."

"Then why are you here? We don't want to be friends with you; we don't care about you."

Croco blinked. "Ouch. That hurt. Really, it did."

"We don't need any of sarcasm, Croco! We get enough (censored) from bitch-boy as it is, so just tell us what you want or (censored) off!"

"The same thing you want: to be freed from this madness."

Black looked up from the floor. "What?"

"What if I told you that I could…make Trowzer go away?"

Black and Green's eyes grew wide. "…Kill him?" whispered Green.

Croco put his hands up and backed away. "Whoa, whoa! I have no idea what you're talking about! The only reason why I came up to you guys was to tell you that I could make Trowzer go away. Y'know, I could, uh, convince him to go to Pinna Park and bait him into riding the Ferris Wheel. And, you know, perhaps he could have a little 'accident' and fall off. Or maybe we could go to Ricco Harbor, and he'd 'accidentally' fall off the ship we're riding and sleep with the fishes…if you catch my drift."

Croco winked at Green and Black and grinned.

"…Why are you telling us this?"

"You know, I'm not much of a big talker. …Well, strike that; I am. However, I like to listen to those around me, watch how people act, hear what they say and why. And from what I can tell, it seems like you guys don't wanna be here and that you're suffering."

"But why do you care?" asked Black.

Croco laughed. "I don't! But that doesn't mean you two can't be useful to me in the future! You see…the three of us are just alike. We were so close to getting away from this hellhole when someone or something (censored) it up for us. I was right at the damn door when one of my bandits ruined everything and forced me to join Trowzer's side. But don't worry…stick with me and we might just get out of this mess alive."

Black and Green looked at each other before looking over at Croco again. "So what's the plan?"

Croco stood up and began to walk away. "What plan?"

"Don't you have a plan on…you know…making Trowzer go away?" asked Green quietly.

"Why would Trowzer be going away?"

Croco winked at Green and Black before he snickered and left. He was playing dumb; he couldn't talk about such treachery with so many of Trowzer's men around. But Green and Black did feel a bit more comfortable. Maybe they couldn't trust Croco, but at least they had someone who hated Trowzer as much as they did and wanted to get rid of him. Unfortunately, they were gonna have to wait a little longer; they couldn't leave Red behind or put his life in jeopardy. Elsewhere, the large blue-shelled koopa was finally done resting and healing himself with shrooms. He still had scars and bruises around his body, but he didn't care. All that mattered was seeking out his victory as soon as possible. Trowzer grinned widely and headed over to the long staircase, panting and giggling as he started to walk up the stairs. He stopped at the sixth step before turning around and addressing his troops one last time.

"THE TIME IS NOW! WE HAVE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME AND SHED TOO MUCH BLOOD FOR US TO SIT AROUND AND HOPE THAT BOWSER COMES TO US! HE'S SITTING UP THERE ON HIS THRONE RIGHT NOW, WAITING FOR ME TO KILL HIM! SO LET'S GET UP THERE AND FINISH THIS FIGHT!"

The soldiers who weren't badly injured cheered and shouted with joy, raising their fists or guns in the air triumphantly. Certain individuals like Green and Croco and a few of the troops who used to work for Bowser remained silent. They scowled or looked away from Trowzer as everyone else cheered his name. Trowzer laughed heartily before he turned around and began to walk upstairs, his troops following him from behind.

* * *

Bowser was still sitting there, waiting patiently. There was no one in the chamber except him; everyone else was gone. The giant red-haired koopa heard someone banging on the giant double-doors several yards in front of him and sighed. It was strange; Bowser seemed calm despite everything that had happened to him over the past several days. He stared at the double-doors as they shook each time Trowzer rammed his body into them. Finally, Trowzer shouted and kicked the doors open, revealing himself and his entire army. Trowzer stepped inside the chamber and slowly began to walk forward with a massive grin on his face.

"Well, well, well…we're finally here brother! We're finally at the end of our journey!"

Bowser didn't say anything or even growl. He just blinked and continued to stare at his half-brother.

"Oh, nothing to say brother? No sappy comeback; no incessant roaring or screaming? You're just gonna sit on your throne with that stoic look on your face?"

"…Say that again."

Trowzer snickered as he got closer and closer to Bowser. His soldiers began to fill the chamber, but all of them were taking positions near the walls and giving Trowzer as much space as possible. They knew he wanted to do this by himself and that they shouldn't get in the way.

"I said, you're just gonna sit on your throne—"

"Stop!" said Bowser, raising his left hand.

Trowzer blinked and raised an eyebrow. Bowser finally got off his throne and began to approach Trowzer.

"You see that?" asked Bowser, pointing to his throne. "You see that throne right there? That's _mine_. That is _MY_ throne! This is _MY_ castle! You're not gonna take any of this away from me, you understand?!"

Trowzer scoffed. "Oh, please brother. I can take whatever I want."

Bowser growled gutturally. Bowser and Trowzer were only a few feet away from each other now.

"You might've been smart enough to plan this whole siege by yourself, but you're not strong enough to defeat me on your own!"

Trowzer laughed and shook his head. "You seriously think I planned everything perfectly? I lost way too many men tonight! I didn't expect an army led by you to be able to kill so many of my troops—I even caught you when you were unprepared. And that last guy you sent after us, Basilisx? Do you _seriously think_ I wanted to run into him? No, not everything that happened tonight was planned at all. Things just…weighed in my favor, not yours."

Bowser made a fist with his right hand and snarled as Trowzer laughed evilly. "Not this time, Trowzer. You may have taken over this castle and killed most of my troops—"

"You think that's all?! I've done everything you've ever dreamed of doing and more, Bowser! I was the one who found the Mario Bros.! I was the one who led them here and defeated them! I was the one who managed to plot a takeover right under your fat snout! I'm the one who's successfully reached every goal I've set out for myself so far! I'm the one who took on four of your top lieutenants and killed them all single-handedly! My God, I…I defeated Basilisx, Bowser! Where the hell did you even find a koopatrol like that?!"

Trowzer sighed heavily. "I've done all these things and more, and yet you still think you can kill me? Hmph! Larry thought the same thing, the foolish little brat. Look how well _that_ turned out."

Bowser suddenly frowned and looked at Trowzer with wide eyes. When Trowzer saw the look of horror in his brother's eyes, he grinned maliciously and attacked him with more words.

"Oh my…oh dear, no one's told you yet, have they? Hehehe, Larry's dead."

Bowser thought about jumping on top of Trowzer and tearing his throat out with his teeth. Instead, his heart sank and Bowser was overwhelmed with sadness. Trowzer snickered and started to circle his half-brother slowly.

"Yep! I killed him. Pretty messy too. He and a few of your lieutenants all tried to stop me inside one of your chambers. But he wasn't strong enough. I must admit though, that twerp had a big pair of balls dangling in-between his legs. It was so simple, Bowser. All I wanted was for your son to get on his knees and beg for his life. He wouldn't do it. He was too proud, too courageous. So you wanna know what I did? I tortured him to death! I beat him, bashed his head against the wall, broke all the fingers on his left hand, crushed his eyeball with my thumb!"

Trowzer inhaled sharply and let out a satisfying growl. "It was all so thrilling, brother! You should've been there; the screams alone would've sent shivers down your spine!"

Bowser thought about doing something, anything to shut Trowzer's mouth. But he simply fell to his knees and started to breathe heavily. He looked at the floor and whined, his vision blurry as tears filled his eyeballs. Now two of his sons were dead, and there were still three other unaccounted for. Trowzer giggled and ruffled Bowser's hair.

"Come on, Bowser, get up. Attack me. This…this is pathetic. I really thought you'd give me some sort of challenge? You're just gonna stay on your knees and let me kill you?"

Bowser didn't give an answer. He just whined again and shook his head as a tear came out of both eyes and rolled down his face. Trowzer sighed with boredom and shook his head.

"Oh well. I really was hoping for a big showdown before this story ended. Alas, I suppose one can't always get what they want. Tell you what though: I'll let you decide on how I should kill you! Do you want me to snap your neck or shoot you in the face?"

Trowzer stared at Bowser, watching as his half-brother breathed heavily and growled to himself. Bowser thought about bawling and letting Trowzer carry out the deed, but then his mind snapped. All the anger and hatred he had accumulated over the past decades was beginning to flare up. All those times he lost to the Mario Bros., all those times his brother Trowzer teased and fought him, all those times he had been verbally humiliated and rejected by Princess Peach—it was all too much. And now, his other son was dead, and Trowzer was standing in front of him bragging about it. Enough was enough. He wasn't going to take it anymore. Not from Mario, not from Peach, not from his own soldiers, and especially not from Trowzer. This was all gonna end. Right now.

"Hmm? Should I break your neck or shoot—"

Trowzer shouted when Bowser roared and tackled him like a tiger. The slobbering beast snarled and roared as he viciously clawed at Trowzer's face. Trowzer was virtually defenseless and couldn't find a way to kick Bowser off of him. Suddenly, Bowser opened his mouth wide and snarled as he prepared to bite down on Trowzer's neck. The blue-shelled behemoth tried to shove Bowser's face back, but he couldn't without having his fingers bitten off. At the last possible second, Trowzer jerked his head sideways, and Bowser bit down on Trowzer's left cheek instead. He screamed violently as Bowser's razor-sharp teeth dug into the skin and flesh. Bowser could taste salty blood in his mouth. He snarled and bit down even harder, determined to harm Trowzer in any way he could. After much screaming, Trowzer clawed at Bowser's head and finally kicked the beast off of him. Everyone gasped as they saw Trowzer stand up. He was gasping and swearing; his left cheek was red and swollen and showed off the meat that Bowser's failed to bite off. Bowser spat the part of the cheek he ripped out in Trowzer's face, his mouth laden with blood. Trowzer suddenly snarled and growled as slobber began to fall out his own mouth. He was doing exactly what Drazzik told him _not_ to do: reverting back to his feral, merciless form.

"You're gonna pay for that, you fucking piece of shit!" he roared.

And that's how it all started. The two massive beasts snarled and charged towards each other, ready to tackle their opponent to the floor. Trowzer was on the receiving end again though. Bowser tackled him to the floor, ready to bash his head in. Unfortunately, Trowzer used his legs and arms to flip Bowser right over his body. Bowser grunted and rolled around on the floor for a moment before Trowzer immediately rolled onto his torso and got up. He sprinted over to Bowser just as the koopa king stood back up. Bowser's vision went blurry when Trowzer punched him in the left eye, and then the right one. Overcome with his feral regression, Trowzer snarled eerily and opened his mouth wide. He lunged for Bowser and bit down on his big snout, determined to bite it right off. Bowser shouted and tried to shake Trowzer off, but it didn't work at first. So he took his right hand, extended his claws, and dragged them against Trowzer's face. The giant lizard opened his mouth and shouted; the giant claw wounds Basilisx gave Trowzer earlier were reopened and bleeding. Bowser showed no mercy. He charged for his brother again and relentlessly began to bash him in the face.

Trowzer kept grunting as he was forced backwards with each punch. Each punch felt like he was getting struck with a hammer. Trowzer snarled when Bowser punched him in the midriff before shouting when Bowser's stomped on his right foot (which was still sore thanks to Basilisx stabbing him there). Then Bowser punched Trowzer in the throat and almost damaged his trachea in the process. Before Bowser could do any more damage, Trowzer grabbed an oncoming fist and growled at his half-brother. Then he veered his head backwards and headbutted Bowser in the nose. Bowser shouted and took a few steps back, which allowed Trowzer to gain the upper hand. Some of Trowzer's troops were grinning or staring at the fight closely, eager to see their leader finally trounce his rival. But those who used to work for Bowser had straight faces and were secretly hoping that Trowzer would lose. After Trowzer had punched Bowser in the face six times, Bowser opened his mouth wide. Trowzer grunted when Bowser bit down on his wrist. He almost felt like Bowser would bite his entire hand off; Trowzer could already see blood oozing out around his wrist. Any deeper and Bowser's teeth would cut to the veins, probably the bone itself.

Having no other option, Trowzer took his left thumb and planted it against Bowser's right eye. Bowser still didn't let go. He didn't care if his half-brother destroyed his right eye. If he took his right hand in the process that was perfectly fine with him. Trowzer breathed heavily and gritted his teeth as Bowser's jaw tightened more and more. Blood continued to drip to the floor and trickle down Trowzer's arm. Trowzer shut his eyes and let out a frustrated growl, knowing that crushing Bowser's eye wouldn't work. Having no alternative, Trowzer opened his mouth, preparing to exhale fire breath in Bowser's face. Bowser finally let go of Trowzer's wrist and rolled out the way to avoid the oncoming flames. When Trowzer finished, he snarled with frustration and saw that Bowser's teeth almost went down to the bone. Fueled by adrenaline and endorphins, Trowzer ignored the pain and kept fighting. The two brothers charged towards each other, ready for another tackling. When the giant koopas were only a few feet away, Trowzer put his plan into action. He quickly side-stepped Bowser and simultaneously snarled and swiped at his left leg with his claws. Bowser shouted and tripped as the serrated claws broke the skin and left nasty marks on his leg.

Trowzer didn't waste time. He quickly jerked himself around and sprinted to Bowser again just as he started to get up. Trowzer leaped into the air and performed his Trowzer Bomb move before Bowser could dodge it. Bowser shouted as he was pinned to the floor beneath Trowzer's massive rump. Trowzer got off his half-brother and snarled as he grabbed him by his tail. Bowser's eyes grew wide, and he found himself snarling and screaming as Trowzer began to spin him around and around. It was humiliating; Bowser felt like Mario was the one spinning him around. All he needed was to place bombs in the corner of the room and this would be no different than when Mario was fighting him in the Dark World. After spinning Bowser a good ten or fifteen times, Trowzer roared and finally let him go. A couple of Trowzer's troops quickly sprinted to the left or right when they saw Bowser's body coming their way. The massive koopa slammed into the wall headfirst, causing debris and mortar to come crashing down on top of him. But Bowser wasn't giving up that easily. The giant beast slowly lifted and shook his head, and then shouted when Trowzer snatched him by the hair and began to pull him towards a pedestal.

Trowzer planted the back of Bowser's head against the corner of a stone pedestal. He held onto his throat with his left hand and made a fist with his right one. Then Trowzer started to punch him over and over again in the face. Bowser could feel the corner of the pedestal slowly puncturing the back of his head with each punch. He knew he was in danger; a normal koopa could easily die just from falling and cracking his or her skull on the corner of something hard. What Trowzer was doing could easily kill him in seconds or give him brain damage. After the seventh punch, Bowser felt something wet dripping from the back of his head and knew this had to end. He jerked his head to the right, causing Trowzer to inadvertently punch the corner of the pedestal. He felt an unbearable amount of pain in his hand and fingers and feared that one of them might be broken. Trowzer hollered in pain and grabbed his right hand with his left one. Bowser quickly got up and wrapped his arms around his half-brother. He headbutted him three times before tossing Trowzer upwards. Then he retreated into his shell and spun around, damaging Trowzer with his spikes once he came back down.

Trowzer grunted and groaned as he tried to get up. His body was all cut up now from Bowser performing his infamous Whirling Fortress move. But the blue-shelled monster finally got to his feet, just in time for Bowser to punch him so hard that his body was launched several feet away. Trowzer panted; he had landed on the back of his shell. He quickly rolled to the left and right before he finally got on his torso. Then he stood up and faced Bowser, just in time to see him charging forward. Trowzer grunted as Bowser slammed into his stomach headfirst like a battering ram, which sent the giant koopa into the wall. Once again, several troops moved out the way as Trowzer was thrown into the wall shell-first, leaving a huge crater in the foundation. Trowzer moaned and tried to move, but Bowser was already upon him. The red-haired koopa king snarled and mercilessly punched Trowzer over and over again all over his body. It didn't matter if he punched him in the snout, eye, chin, throat, stomach—all Bowser cared about was harming his brother as brutally as he possibly could. The koopa king was abusing Trowzer so much that his knuckles were becoming red and almost bleeding.

Bowser snarled and grabbed Trowzer's face with his left hand. He dug two of his claws into Trowzer's forehead and growled as he moved them down very slowly. Bowser was scratching Trowzer so hard that blood was already oozing out of his face and creating a revolting scratching sound. Trowzer screamed as Bowser ran his claws down his face; the wounds were already starting to sting and burn. Bowser suddenly changed his pace and violently ran his claws all the way to Trowzer's snout, leaving two vicious red scars on his face. Fed up with Trowzer's screaming, Bowser punched Trowzer in the solar plexus. Trowzer's eyes grew wide, and he slowly fell forward and landed face-down on the floor. Bowser didn't show any mercy. He snarled and kicked Trowzer in the head before grabbing him by the hair and standing him up. Then Bowser wrapped his arms around his brother again before he performed his Flying Slam move. Several of Trowzer's troops gasped when they saw Bowser leap high into the air, spinning around and still clutching onto Trowzer. Then they both hit the ground, with Trowzer pinned underneath Bowser's immense bulk. Trowzer started to cough and hack; the fight was slowly turning in Bowser's favor.

Bowser growled and got off Trowzer, who immediately stood up and lunged at Bowser. Bowser shouted when Trowzer opened his mouth and bit him on the snout. Bowser, luckily, managed to shove Trowzer away before he did too much damage. Unfortunately, he couldn't avoid Trowzer's next attack. Trowzer inhaled deeply and exhaled a colossal amount of flames at his half-brother. Bowser could only retreat into his shell in order to minimize the damage, but he could still feel the hot flames blowing all over his shell. When Trowzer was only blowing out smoke, he coughed a few times and stopped attacking. That's when Bowser emerged from his shell and started to punch Trowzer again. Only this time, Trowzer parried his attacks. The first time Bowser tried to punch him, Trowzer grabbed Bowser's arm and punched him in the throat. Bowser gagged and coughed before he tried to punch Trowzer again. The same thing happened; Trowzer sidled out the way and punched Bowser in the throat again. The third time proved to be a huge mistake. Trowzer knew what was about to happen, so he dodged the punch altogether and grabbed Bowser's face with his right hand. Then Trowzer ran three claws down Bowser's face, and the giant beast started to scream horribly.

Bowser couldn't see out his left eye. He felt blood dripping down his face and knew something was gushing and oozing out of his eye socket. One of Trowzer's claws went over his left eye and sliced the cornea, quite possibly the lens itself, in half. He couldn't see out that eye anymore. Bowser collapsed onto his shell, whining and screaming as more blood gushed out of his eye socket. Trowzer didn't give Bowser a chance to recover. He leaped on top of Bowser and snarled as he began to punch him across the face repeatedly. Bowser could only see part of Trowzer, but he felt every blow he took to the head. He was punched in the temple, the forehead, the snout—all over the place. Suddenly, Trowzer put his hands together and made one giant fist. He roared vociferously before smashing both hands down on Bowser's snout, breaking it and causing it to bleed. Bowser started to cough up blood, which he used to his advantage. Bowser already knew Trowzer would try to damage his other eye, so he quickly spat blood in Trowzer's face. The blue-shelled koopa shouted and got up, panting as he quickly rubbed the blood from his eyes. While he was distracted, Bowser got up and wearily dragged his feet across the floor. He jumped into the air and grabbed onto a long chain-link dangling from the ceiling. Due to Bowser's immense girth, the chain-link snapped out of socket with ease.

Just when Trowzer got the blood out his eyes, he found himself being smacked across the face with heavy metal chains. Trowzer shouted when the chains were smacked against his forehead. Moments later, Bowser shouted and smashed them against Trowzer's skull. Panting, Trowzer tried to grab the chains, but he wound up getting hit in his left fist with them. And as if karma came down and bit Trowzer right on the tail, Bowser swung the chains at Trowzer's eyes. Trowzer shrieked and fell to the floor. His left eye had been damaged. It was starting to turn red; Trowzer noticed he was having a very hard time seeing out of _both_ eyes. Trowzer swore twice and covered his left eye with his hand before Bowser smacked him in the right knee with the chains. He knew this wasn't fair, whipping Trowzer so easily with a pair of chains. But if Trowzer was gonna fight dirty by maiming his eye, then there was no reason why Bowser shouldn't fight dirty either. Bowser kicked Trowzer onto his torso before he got on top of his shell and pinned him down. Bowser was still filled with adrenaline; it was the only way to explain why he was still capable of doing so much damage with a mutilated eyeball.

Bowser placed some of the chains against Trowzer's eyes and mouth. Trowzer could taste the rusty metal in his mouth and groaned in a muffled voice. Bowser growled and started to pull on the chains, thus tightening them so he could crush the chains into Trowzer's face. Trowzer screamed and shouted, clawing at the floor as he felt the chains grinding into his skin. Bowser growled and moved the chains a little, desperate to crush them into Trowzer's eyes. Any tighter and Trowzer's eyeballs would be crushed. Seeing no other option, Trowzer roared and violently jerked his body upwards. The sudden movement caused Bowser to let go of the chains with one hand just long enough for Trowzer to remove them from his eyes and mouth. He panted and started to get up, but Bowser wasn't giving up that easily. His chains still in hand, Bowser ran behind Trowzer and wrapped the chains around his neck. Trowzer shouted and gagged, coughing as he felt his airway tightening. He coughed twice before Bowser roared and violently tugged on the chains. Trowzer's troops watched in horror as Bowser began to choke Trowzer to death. Their glorious leader gagged and coughed over and over as the chains were tightened. He grabbed the chains and tugged on them, but it did no good. All he could do was stand there.

Trowzer thought it was all over right then and there, but he forced himself to fight back. Trowzer tried to elbow Bowser, but it didn't work. He kept jerking himself around so Trowzer missed. Trowzer was starting to feel lightheaded; he needed to end this fast. Using as much strength as he could muster, Trowzer ran backwards and pushed Bowser back as well. Both of them crashed into a pedestal, and Trowzer immediately began to bash the back of his head against Bowser's face. Bowser held on for a long as he could, but after the fifth time, he let go of the chains. Trowzer took a deep breath and landed on all fours. He coughed violently and shook his head before taking a few more deep breaths. A huge red mark was left on his neck; Trowzer grunted and massaged his throat. Bowser, meanwhile, took a few steps to the right before throwing up all over the floor. Several soldiers grimaced when they saw the yellowish-green bile soar out of Bowser's mouth and splash on the floor. Bowser coughed and wiped his mouth clean before collapsing to his knees. Both brothers were exhausted from the intense combat and were ready to give up.

Trowzer was still coughing when Bowser slowly got up and lazily walked over to Trowzer. He grabbed him by the back of the head before pinning him down to the floor again. Bowser breathed heavily as he lifted Trowzer's head and suddenly slammed his face into the floor. He took a deep breath and slammed his face against the floor again. Trowzer let out a muffled groan and felt his snout becoming sore. Bowser lifted his head and smashed it into the floor some more. He repeated this process over and over again until Trowzer's face was bloody and Bowser was too tired to do anything else. He slowly slouched over and collapsed on his shell as he started to breathe heavily. His wounds were eating away at him. Less adrenaline was pumping into his veins. The pain and exhaustion was beginning to kick in. Trowzer sluggishly crawled forward before he coughed and turned around. Bowser was lying right there, looking like a wounded rabbit that a fox had been chasing all day. Trowzer slowly got to his feet and grinned widely. Now was the perfect time to go for the kill. Slobbering at the mouth again, Trowzer did exactly what Bowser did when the fight began and pounced on him.

Bowser tried to fight off Trowzer, but he was too weak to do much of anything. He tried to wiggle his way to freedom; he tried to push Trowzer's face backwards. But he wasn't strong enough. Trowzer opened his mouth wide and bit down on Bowser's neck. The koopa king screamed and hollered, thrashing his legs around as blood gushed out of his neck and filled Trowzer's mouth. The giant koopa pulled tightly, his teeth tearing away at the skin and flesh. And then, finally, with a repulsive tearing sound, a huge chunk of flesh was ripped away from Bowser's throat. Blood sprayed in all directions and started to create a small puddle on the floor. Trowzer spat out the flesh he removed before he got off of Bowser and grinned. Bowser stayed on the floor, writhing around in agony, knowing that this might be the end for him. And yet, he told himself to get up. He told himself that he still might have a chance. So Bowser stopped screaming and inhaled sharply and took deep breaths. He grunted and whined as he rolled onto his torso and then finally got to his feet. Bowser took a few raspy breaths and stared at his half-brother through his good eye.

Bowser started to take a few steps forward, but then he felt those wet fluids on his head again. Bowser placed his right hand on the back of his head and exhaled. He looked at his hand and noticed it was covered in blood. Bowser and Trowzer were equally as strong, but Trowzer had better tactics. He knew how sensitive the back of the head was; that's why he made sure he planted Bowser's head against the corner of the pedestal. This entire time he had been losing blood, and now it put him at a severe disadvantage. Bowser exhaled and grabbed the gaping bite wound on his neck. Blood was still gushing out of it. Bowser could feel the crimson slithering down his arms and dripping into his shell. Even if by some miracle he managed to kill Trowzer, it was too late for him. The damage had been done. One of his arteries had been ruptured beyond repair. Bowser was going to die. But he still pressed on. He dragged his feet across the floor, longing to take his brother to the grave with him. But Trowzer kept backing away, snickering as he watched his brother struggle. Bowser's determination wasn't enough. He closed his eyes for a while before opening them and letting out a long, raspy sigh. Then he slowly fell forward, collapsing on the floor like a falling tree.

No one said anything. No one cheered or clapped or shouted out Trowzer's name with joy. They didn't want to jinx it. Everyone stayed silent and stared at the fallen koopa king. He was breathing in a raspy tone as blood continued to gush out the side of his neck. Trowzer didn't make a move. He stared at his wounded half-brother, wondering if Bowser would muster the strength to stand up. He didn't. After thirty seconds, one of Trowzer's soldiers became impatient. Trowzer heard something clatter on the floor and looked down. Someone tossed a handgun at his feet. Trowzer looked to his right and saw Shannon grinning and nodding his head. The giant behemoth looked around the chamber and could see that other troops were murmuring and nodding their heads or grinning. They all wanted him to finish Bowser. Trowzer grunted as he bent over and picked up the handgun. He pointed it at Bowser's face, but just before he fired, Trowzer lowered the gun and huffed.

"This isn't fair. I…you still deserve a chance, brother."

Bowser flicked his eye at Trowzer and saw him put the gun on the floor. Then Trowzer sat down nonchalantly.

"Come on, brother. The gun's right here. All you have to do is crawl over here and get it."

Bowser knew Trowzer was taunting him again, but he didn't care. The mortally wounded Bowser kept breathing in a raspy tone and coughing as he stared at the gun. Bowser couldn't even get to his knees. All he could do was drag his body across the floor, as though someone had sawed off his legs. Bowser started to pant as he got closer and closer to the gun. It was only a few feet away from him.

"That's it, Bowser…just a little further."

Bowser was fading in and out. He was losing too much blood. Luckily, Bowser finally reached the handgun. He panted as he wrapped his hand around it and started to pick it up. Bowser didn't even get the chance to point it at Trowzer before the blue-shelled monster grabbed the gun and tossed it aside. Bowser let out a soft whining noise and lowered his head and hand. Trowzer stood up and limped over to the gun. Even though he won the fight, Bowser gave him a good beating; he was on the verge of passing out again. Bowser panted and slowly shifted his body around so he could face Trowzer. Somehow, Bowser put his hands on the floor and grunted as he began to lift himself up. He managed to get on his knees, but when Bowser tried to stand, he almost fell back down. So Bowser just stayed on his knees, breathing quietly as he watched Trowzer twirl the handgun with a nasty grin on his face. Then he finally stopped and pointed it right at Bowser's forehead.

"Any last words, Bowser?"

Bowser hadn't felt this hopeless before. He let out a tiny whimper and actually looked like he was about to burst out in tears. Trowzer looked at Bowser's right eye and could see that it was watery. He looked like a helpless wounded doe about to be torn apart by wolves.

"You stole it…you stole everything from me…"

Bowser let out another whimpering sound again, knowing there was no way he could get out of this alive.

"I was supposed to be the villain…"

Trowzer snickered. "My dear brother…you stopped being the villain the moment I showed up."

Trowzer didn't hesitate. He squeezed the trigger and fired. Bowser's eyes grew wide as the bullet quickly zoomed through the air and was aimed right for his forehead. It was all a lie, the whole rumor that your life flashes before your eyes. Bowser didn't have any visions or memories. He couldn't remember all the good times or all the bad times. Nothing flooded his mind. All he could see was the bullet in front of him. Time seemed to slow to a crawl; Bowser could see the bullet slowly moving towards him. He tried to move or dodge it, but unfortunately, time slowed down for him too. There was nothing he could do but stare at the bullet coming towards him. He slowly opened his mouth and tried to jerk his head to the side, but it was all futile. The bullet finally hit him, and everything went dark. Bowser managed to let out one last scream before his body pitched backwards and he fell to the floor with a loud thud. Trowzer stood still and breathed heavily as he clutched the pistol tightly. He watched as steam slowly rose out the barrel before he lowered his gun and grinned.

Nearly all the troops rushed forward and approached Trowzer and Bowser. Trowzer dragged his feet across the floor and looked down at Bowser. He had been shot right in-between the eyes. Blood was pouring out the wound and Bowser's body wasn't even twitching. Some of Trowzer's troops began murmuring to themselves or laughed, mocking Bowser's name. Bowser's turncoat troops shut their eyes or turned their heads, refusing to look at Bowser's body. Trowzer exhaled and tossed the handgun aside.

"No…I'm not taking any chances this time."

Trowzer bent over and grunted with much effort as he picked up Trowzer's body and lifted it over his head. Everyone gasped and backed away as Trowzer ran towards the nearest window he could find. Then Trowzer roared and tossed Bowser's giant body at the window shell first. Bowser's body shattered the window into thousands of tiny shards. He was thrown outside the castle. Bowser's corpse eventually began to descend very quickly, heading towards the ground that was thousands of feet below. Everything that he had worked for, everything that he had built and planned was all gone. The infamous koopa king had been defeated, and now his body was making its way towards a fiery doom. Rivers of lava flowed all around Bowser's domain, and his body was about to plunge into one of them. Trowzer limped his way to the broken window and looked outside. He could see the small speck that was Bowser's cadaver heading for the lava below. Even if, by some miracle, Bowser did not land in the lava and hit the ground, it didn't matter. He had been shot in the head, and the fall would kill him even if he wasn't already dead. Trowzer stared at Bowser's falling body before he stepped away from the broken window and sat on the floor with a hefty sigh.

"I did it," he said quietly. "…I killed him."

Trowzer just sat where he was and started to chuckle to himself as his army began to congratulate him. But Trowzer seemed to ignore their voices. All he could hear were his own demented laughs…

* * *

Roy was sitting on a hill miles away from Bowser's castle. The rest of the army was continuing their retreat, but Roy couldn't pry himself away from the beautiful building. Junior noticed that Roy was sitting alone and approached him slowly.

"Let's go, Roy. There's nothing else we can do…"

Roy shook his head slowly. "He took it all, Junior. He took everything away from us…"

Junior put a hand on Roy's right shoulder and exhaled. "I know."

Roy made his left hand into a fist and let out a frustrated sigh that sounded like a sob.

"He's gonna pay…I (censored) swear, that animal is gonna pay. For Iggy, for Larry…everything. One day…Trowzer's going to pay!"

Junior lowered his head and blinked. "Today's not that day, Roy."

Roy unclenched his fist and sobbed for real this time, trying his hardest not to cry again. "I know…and that's the problem. He got everything he ever wanted! And we can't even…"

Junior's eyes became watery. "I know, Roy. I know it's not fair. …But that's just how it is."

Roy sobbed again before he stood up and hugged his brother tightly. It was rare for Roy to do such a thing, but Junior didn't tease him for it or mock his niceness. He just wrapped his arms around Roy as a tear rolled down his face. The brothers embraced for a moment before Roy sniffled and let go of Junior.

"C'mon, let's go…Wendy and the others are waiting."

Roy and Junior looked at the place they used to call their home one last time. Then they turned their heads and began to walk away from the castle, knowing that the war had been lost.

* * *

Kooper, Geno, and the other Yoshi rebels were thrown into a large pit, their hands still tied together. Kooper slowly shifted around and sat down against the pit's wall. Some of the rebels swore at Marcus and the other commandos who threw them into the pit, but Kooper, Geno, and a few other rebels kept their mouths.

"I swear, I'm gonna get outta here! You just wait and (censored) see!" shouted a red Yoshi.

"Yeah, yeah, you've been saying that since last night," said Dominic.

Dominic grabbed the giant bamboo grate that was used as a door for the pit and slammed it down. There was no need to lock it; a few commandos kept their eyes on the pit at all times. Anyone who tried to escape would promptly be shot on sight. In fact, a few Yoshis _had_ tried to escape, and they were all shot in the head. Two of their bodies were still resting in the pit as a warning for all the other rebels who thought about escaping. The red Yoshi kept swearing and shouting out Dominic's name, obviously too hell-bent on killing the shady koopa.

"Just shut up already. It's not gonna do any good," said a white Yoshi.

"(Censored) you. I'm not giving up that easily!"

A few of the rebels in the pit sighed and ignored the red Yoshi as he kept shouting. Geno glanced over at Tallard and saw him sitting down, looking the same way Kooper did. Both of them had lost hope over everything; they weren't even trying to think about escaping from the pit. At least, not right now.

"Tallard—"

"Don't talk to me," the orange Yoshi snapped.

Geno sat against the wall again and huffed. Then he blinked and looked at Kooper. The blue-shelled koopa was actually moving now, but he was letting out tiny moans and growls, his eyes red and seemingly feral.

"Kooper?"

Kooper snarled at the doll in response. He didn't want to be bothered either.

"I know it's…Kooper, you have to believe that—"

"No…stop, Geno. Stop. It won't get better."

"Don't you remember what Hooktail said? She-she's coming back, Kooper, with other dragons to help us."

"No, she's not. I don't care if she does. That bitch probably backstabbed us just like Blaze did…don't you think it's odd that she conveniently left before all this happened?"

"That doesn't mean—"

"Geno…shut up. I actually had hope, you know. I thought this would work. I thought we could be heroes without the Mario Bros. coddling us and guiding the way. But after I saw that kid get his brains blown out…I knew that we screwed up. I knew that these koopas would do anything, kill anyone to get what they want. If a twelve-year-old Yoshi can't survive on this island, then what does that mean for us? How long before we end up having our brains blown out too?"

Kooper took a deep breath and shook his head. "I don't care anymore. I don't care if we get rescued. I don't care if we die. All I want to do is make that bastard who shot Ned pay. I don't care if I end up dying in the process. I'm going to kill Marcus, Geno…if it's the last thing I do."

Geno blinked and stopped talking for a long time. When he noticed that Kooper looked like he was about to cry again, Geno opened his mouth and prepared to say something.

"Leave me alone…" said Kooper quietly.

Geno shut his mouth. Maybe there really was nothing they could do—not now anyway. All they could do was sit and wait and hope that Hooktail would return sooner than later. Even then, neither of the heroes was really optimistic. Even if Hooktail showed up in the next five minutes with thirty dragons, the damage had been done. Hundreds of Yoshis—possibly thousands—were dead, and Geno and Kooper had lost a part of themselves they couldn't get back.

Maybe Kooper was right. Maybe there was no hope left for them…

* * *

Somewhere beyond Fahr Outpost, a koopaling was lying face-down in the slow. A heavy blizzard had been going on for hours and snow was slowly beginning to bury the koopaling. Ludwig's attempts at finding Fahr Outpost or any form of civilization had failed. He managed to find a cave to sleep in and was lucky enough to build his own fire, but other than that, he hadn't yielded any results. And now he was lying on the ground, unconscious or dead from exhaustion. As the wind howled and the snow fell, a couple of frost piranhas and ice puffs spotted Ludwig's body and began to approach it. One of the ice puffs grinned and floated over to the koopaling, ready to freeze his body completely. The ice puff took a deep breath and prepared to blow its frosty breath on Ludwig. Suddenly, someone or something unleashed a powerful fire attack on the ice puffs and the frost piranhas simultaneously. The fire attack only burned the ice puffs and frost piranhas; Ludwig himself wasn't damaged or hurt by any of the flames. The frosty creatures quickly fled from Ludwig's body and the mysterious creature that cast the fire attack.

The dark figure stepped towards Ludwig's body and looked down at the snow-covered body. It growled gutturally before it bent down and picked up Ludwig's body. Given the creature's burly figure, it had no trouble hauling Ludwig over its shoulder. The creature growled deeply again before it started to walk away, still carrying Ludwig's body over the shoulder…

* * *

Lemmy and Morton hadn't said anything for a while. Eventually, Lemmy stopped crying hysterically long enough to tell Morton what happened, at which point both of them started sobbing. There was hugging, sobbing, swearing, then more hugging and banging fists on the kart with frustration. Once all their tears were shed and both brothers had vented all their anger, they hopped into the kart and Morton started to drive away. But they didn't say a thing to each other. At some point though, Morton pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the engine. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes slowly before Lemmy blinked. He didn't pressure Morton to start the kart back up; he knew they needed some time to think.

"…What are we doing?"

Lemmy didn't give a sarcastic reply, even though part of him wanted to. "Saving our brother before it's too late."

"Are we? We've just been driving around getting our asses handed to us for reasons we still don't even fully know yet. We almost died today, Lemmy. That doesn't bother you even a little bit?"

"Of course it does. But we managed to pull through, right?"

"Larry didn't…"

Lemmy looked down and blinked. "No…no, he didn't. But we weren't there, so we don't—"

"Exactly, Lemmy! We weren't there! We were out on the streets on some wild goose chains and we haven't yielded any results! I banged up my body and you broke your leg! That's the only thing we've accomplished!"

"You're forgetting that we know where Ludwig is now, Morton."

"We don't even know how to get there! We don't even know if he's still alive! What if we find Ludwig and he's already—"

"Shut up."

Morton, surprisingly, shut his mouth and took a deep breath.

"You sound like you're blaming me for what happened at the castle."

"We could've been there, Lemmy…we could've helped Larry. We could've fought by his side. But now he's dead, and our empire is pretty much finished. But not everyone's dead. Wendy and Roy and Junior are all still alive and well. Don't you think we should find them first and _then_ go look for Ludwig?"

Lemmy shook his head. "No. It's like you said, Morton: they're alive and well. They're doing fine. Their morale might be shattered, but they've still alive, and that's all that matters. We don't know anything about Ludwig. He's probably being tortured to death as we speak. If we waste all our time trying to regroup with Junior and the others, by the time we finally decide to look for Ludwig, it'll be too late."

"I'm not saying we shouldn't look for him. It's just…do you really wanna waste more time searching for _one_ koopaling instead of three, despite the fact Ludwig may be dead already?"

Lemmy paused for a very long time before relaxing his shoulders and exhaling for a moment. He nodded slowly and gave Morton a simple reply.

"Yeah."

The brothers stared at each other briefly before Morton huffed and started the engine back up.

"I just hope you're right on this."

"I am. Ludwig's still alive. And we're going to find him."

Morton still believed in the back of his head that Ludwig was probably lying on the ground with a bullet in his skull, but he didn't say anything. Morton drove back onto the road, and the koopalings resumed their quest to find Ludwig.

* * *

Trowzer wasn't fully healed yet, but after the long fight, some of his troops did supply him with a few healing items for him to eat. The koopa still had the scars and bruises all over his body; part of his cheek was still missing; two giant scars ran down his face. But he didn't care. All that mattered to him was the throne sitting a few feet away from him. Most of his soldiers stood against the wall, watching Trowzer as though he was about to be knighted. Some of his chief lieutenants, such as Shannon and Drazzik, were standing beside the throne and waiting for their ruler to sit upon it.

"Your throne awaits you, _King_ Trowzer!" said Shannon.

Trowzer let out a small laugh. "King you say?"

The blue-shelled behemoth didn't wait any longer. He slowly began to walk towards the throne, not even wincing at the stinging sensation he felt around his body. He didn't limp or slow down; the reptile just walked like any normal koopa would. When he finally reached the glorious throne, he turned around and planted his rear end on the seat. The throne wasn't too hard or soft, too wide or narrow. It was the perfect size for someone of Trowzer's girth. The giant koopa sighed deeply before he looked around the chamber again. This was actually happening. This was actually real. All those dreams he had of this very moment had finally come true. Bowser had been defeated, and now he had taken over his empire and was free to take over the world. Trowzer took a few deep breaths and grasped the sides of the throne he was resting his arms on. Trowzer let out a tiny, happy moan as a smile spread across his face. He almost felt like crying tears of joy. He never felt this accomplished or joyful in his entire life. Trowzer let out a tiny giggle and started talking to himself.

"I did it! I beat him! It's…all of this…it's all mine now! IT'S FINALLY MINE!"

Certain soldiers like Shelly, Green, and Black turned their heads away from Trowzer in disgust. Croco just stared at the beast, grinning like the rest of the soldiers. He had to act just like everyone else so no one would suspect what he was really up to. Trowzer finally broke out into a maniacal fit of laughter as he took in all the joy and pleasure of achieving such a challenging milestone. He was now King Trowzer, the cruelest and most cold-hearted beast in all the lands.

"I'VE WON! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA !"

Trowzer's demented laughs echoed throughout the chamber, throughout the rest of the castle. The monster just sat on his new throne, laughing like a madman, knowing that he was the new evil that would soon plague the Mushroom Kingdom…

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


End file.
